Lyda Morehouse's Blog, page 53

Wages of Sin

I went to a Lutheran college, Augsburg, in the 80s. In "Old Main," we had these lovely old-fashioned wooden desks that had been carved on and doodled on by generations of students before us. When I was bored during lectures, I would scan the desk and read the annals of human history in rude college grafitti. There was actually a practical joke from the 1950s-60s that involved a former student named "Warren Hawkins" that I uncovered while reading these -- and, actually, when I volunteered to do the phone back calling for alumni, I got to chat with the REAL Warren Hawkins, who explain to me how his name came to be carved in so many desks around campus. But, that's actually not the point of this story. The point is, that there was this phrase that, as a Unitarian Universalist, I never understood. On a lot of the desks was scrawled, "The wages of sin!" My favorite response to that was where someone had written "Are $7.99/hr" (which was minnimum wage at the time.) Finally, someone explained to me that the wages of sin, to a Christian, is death (without resurrection.)

Now-a-days, I like to mutter, the phrase "Ah, the wages of sin!" after a night like last night where I had a great deal of fun hanging out with my fangrrl friends and staying up WAY PAST MY BEDTIME. I didn't get HOME last night (after kuk sool, Wyrdsmiths, and my friends) until well after midnight. Considering that I have to get up at six o'clock in the morning to start to get my family ready for school and work and such, I really feel like I'm paying for my sins, as it were.

But, unlike the original concept, I really feel the wages are worth the sin.

And, on the note of how awesome my friends are, A BIG THANK YOU to all the furry folks who chimed in to answer my question and help spread the work about my Komamura fic (which now I feel was underwhelming... because, you know, I didn't expect all this wonderful pimping! And I really kind of just wrote it for myself and fairly serious BLEACH fans. But, wow, thanks!!) Now neary 100 people have viewed/read it. That's... wow, I just have the best friends, ever. (Especially you kyellgold . Damn. Your superpowers!!)

Now today I have pay for all this partying and get serious about working on my original projects....

See ya later!

A Wasted Day and a Discovery

Yesterday, I was supposed to work on my sample chapters. I just could NOT get motivated. I don't know why. I have lots of other things I could blame besides myself, of course, including the fact that Shawn ended up not going to work (she had to attend the funeral of her co-worker/friend's mom) and Mason had the day off from school. Mason, however, was quite content to spend the day watching too much streaming MythBusters while putting together the LEGO DeathStar. So... actually, I had plenty of free time.

Which I spent meandering around the Internet and generally moaning about having ennui.

I did manage to write a blurb for a friend's small press science fiction novel. That had been on my to-do pile for MONTHS. I thought, in fact, I'd missed my opportunity to say something about it, but he emailed me a week ago to say that the book was in its final stages and they could still use a quote from me, if I had something to say. I'd read a lot of it when I thought I still had time, but then life had gotten in the way like it always does and I'd set it aside. So I picked it back up and read it.

Writing blurbs is such a funny, fun experience. It's one of the perks of being a pro that I never really gave much thought to when I imagined my life as a writer. Of course, I never imagined that I would still be struggling to make ends-meet when my "dream came true," but, on a happier note, there are these strange sort of perks to being a writer that are a bit like benefits. Like, occasionally, I get free books. My only 'price' is that I have to find something snappy and witty to say about them (if I like them.)

If you ever wondered, there is no blurb out there that wasn't solicited in one way or the other. By solicited, I do NOT mean paid for, but I mean the person asking (usually the author her/himself) knows or is connected to in some way the person s/he requested the blurb from. Only very rarely, I get requests from people's publishers. I suspect if I were a bigger NAME, I'd get many more of those. (I'm sure Neil Gaiman and Lois McMaster Bujold are overrun, for instance.) But for someone at my level, it's usually someone I consider a colleague, or even a friend, who's asked me to read and blurb their book.

I've actually long dreamed of asking my friend Eleanor Arnason to blurb my book in her signature Icelandic way, which I imagine going something like this, "XXX by Lyda Morehouse is okay. I've read worse."

Anyone who knew Eleanor would realize what AMAZING praise that was and rush out and buy a million copies. Of course, most people outside of the Mid-West (who weren't Scandinavian) would be like, "What?!"

:-)

Anyway, I'm happy to report that, having turned in my blurb to my friend, I did, officially, accomplish SOMETHING yesterday.

I also posted the first part of my Komamura fic. (http://archiveofourown.org/works/650152) which has gotten very little response. To be fair, not a lot happens in it. There's a conversation at a party and a little flirting. I didn't jump in with both feet by any means. I also realized that while there's some overlap with furries and Bleach, it's still kind of... taboo to write what is essentially a romantic story about an anthropomorphic wolf/fox and a shape-shifting fox demon. Perhaps 'taboo' isn't the right word, but it's clearly not a lot of people's cup of tea.

So be it. I had a great time writing it, and I might just be stubborn and do it again. (I am very curious about this reaction in one way, though, considering how animalistic I allow my Renji to be. Apparently-animal-on-the inside/barely contained nature ala Wolverine is much, MUCH more acceptable than animal-on-the-outside. [My furry friends? Any comments on this phenomenon?])

At any rate, it is what it is. I don't expect people to read outside of their comfort zone. This is one of the reasons I get cranky when people mock fan fic writers for choosing unusual pairing or for taking on a fetish that is way, way out of the norm. (I recently got a new comment on my rant about i09's former FFF column that brought all this back to me.) The thing is, I don't really happen to *get* diaper fetishes or water sports or any number of things that healthy, normal human beings are into. There are things, in fact, I actually find somewhat objectionable, like rape fantasies and certain underage sex stories. But, I deal with that by checking the warning tags AND JUST NOT READING THEM. That's why warnings were invented, people.

I also tend to stop reading any fic that has extremely bad grammar or spelling... unless, by some miracle, the story and characterizations are able to rise above that (which, strangely, CAN happen.) Sure, it's funny when someone (like me -- this is a real example from an erotica piece I handed out to my writers' group) uses the word lions when they mean loins, or talks about quacking Aspens or bear feet. I've kind of done them all, and to which I say, Dyslexics Untie! (A joke Shawn had to explain to me, because I read it several times and still parced 'Unite.')

But, seriously, people, if it bugs you JUST STOP READING. It's not that hard. No one is forcing you to read their terrible grammar. They're not even getting paid to post it. So, it's not like you bought a book for 7.99 and discovered that that author has a soul-bonding rape fantasy and no copy-editor (which happened to me.)

I think in the case of the latter, when it's something that's been professionally published and which people are then expected to pay for, I think mocking should rain down from the heavens. Because, that's the dues of a published author. Even when you don't have a fetish that leaks into your fiction, you are putting it out there, and that means someone, somewhere thinks it's COMPLETE CRAP. Other people, take it home, love it and beg you for more. That's just the way the publishing game is played.

The same rules shouldn't apply to fic, IMHO. Because it's just for fun. If it's not fun for you, DON'T F*CKING READ IT; go play in the sandbox that fits YOUR fantasies. That's the POINT OF IT.

/rant

Man, I get wound up. :-)

Because I am Never Afraid to Embarass Myself (Utterly)

I tell myself this is one of my many charms, but, the truth is, I simply have no shame. None what-so-ever. When the goddess handed out shame, I thought she said 'lame," so I said, "Nah, I'm good, thanks!"

Because, I KNOW I'm a forty-something, pudgy woman, but in my mind, I'm THIS:



(Sorry for the blurriness, I was photographing my own Manga, and I didn't want the whole page and my camera kept saying "Too CLOSE! Too CLOSE!")

Even though I'm REALLY this:



(Also, I would have framed this a little better to match, but I asked my nine-year old to take the photo, so, you know, this is close enough, considering.)

For the amazingly dorky full effect:



Okay, so even though we can't afford ANYTHING this year, I am, as it happens, still signed up for Anime Detour. My plan has been to spend at least one day attempting to cosplay (cross-play) Renji. To that end, I've spent over a year growing out my hair. Yes, I'm that big of an otaku. Let me just repeat, for cosplay, I've been GROWING MY HAIR OUT FOR OVER A YEAR.

And, look, it really hasn't made me look more like him AT ALL.

Do I care? See above.

Also, because I'm so wicked poor this year my plans to actually make/purchase a full shinigami shihakushô have kind of gone by the wayside. So, instead, I've decided to do Renji in the Human World (clever, no?) hence the 'wrong" color bandana I'm wearing above. I'm going to try to do his 'wait, you're telling me this went out in the 70s? Who cares? I LOOK AWESOME' vibe, with a few trips to GoodWill. I actually already have jeans that are kind of groovy and way far too low-cut for someone my age, and I figure I'll improvise the rest.

I plan to make a more accurate 'Red Pineapple' tee-shirt than the one I'm wearing above. I made this one so I could wear it under my gi for kuk sool, and get my ass handed to me Renji-style in the dojo. (Weirdly, this really DOES seem to happen whenever I wear this tee.)

Also, if anyone has the balls to tell me I make the world's suckiest Renji, I intend to look them in the eye and say, "What? Don't blame me! Blame that cheat of a shoten owner, Urahara! Look at the crap-ass gigai he gave me!"

Because why? Because I have no shame, and I'm just that ballsy.

Did I mention that 1) I have too much time on my hands, and 2) I think that the -10 F degree temp outside causes the people of Minnesota to become the world's biggest nerds....?

The Motherload! All Ur Manga R Belong To Us!

On Sunday, Shawn, Mason and I went to HalfPrice Books and I happened to see that someone had dumped back issues of SHONEN JUMP for only a dollar a piece. We had another agenda, so I only bought a couple. But, even Shawn, who is not a fan, kept saying to me, "For only a dollar a peice? You should go back and get them all."

So I did (Still life: motherload, with cat).



There are about twenty or more issues there. Not all of them contain actual episodes of BLEACH, but a good number do, and those that don't have NARUTO, ONE PIECE, and (most importantly to me) HIKARU NO GO.

At first I thought, why do this? I mean, all of the issues have the story I've read collected in the Manga, right? Except that, there's THIS:



THE COLOR INSERT of of the Byakuya/Ichigo fight!! OMG! OMG!!



For me, that alone was worth the $20 I paid for all twenty issues. But, there are a tons of other goodies in-between the pages. Old SHONEN JUMP used to run a lot of fan art, which is always fun, a few interviews with Tite Kubo (and others) and amazing insert tidbits like this:



And color insets of some of the 'group portraits' like this one, which is Renji among the Vizards, as far as I can tell (hair color kind of gives it away, but what is he doing with them? Outside of empty_mirrors and my fic, anyway?):



(The larger version):



There's even more awesome, but I think this is probably enough BLEACH for today.

Fleischkuechle

Shawn's family has an ethnic food, fleischkuechle, which I have learned to make from her mother's recipe. Every so often, we get together with her brothers and our nephew and we do this kind of assembly-line massive production of fleischkuechle. Other times, when we run out of our freezer supply, we bust out and make a "small" batch on our own.

Here's what a small batch's production looks like:

Pre-production stage.
Shawn makes the insides which are basically hamburger, onions and some spices. I make the dough. She puts them together in these half-moon shapes:



Second stage: The deep fat fryer.
This is the part that actually takes the longest. They need a lot of frying to make sure that the meat inside is thoroughly cooked, and at most I can only get four in our little home fryer.



Final stage. Ready to eat.
The best part of these beauties is that sometimes when you bite into them a huge drool of grease comes dribbling down your chin, super-hot, but super-tasty. We have been known to try to suck all the grease out.



I'm now actually very tired. Today was a lot of rolling and frying. Shawn and I had a lovely time chatting and hanging out, though now I can barely string three words together.

How Am I a Doofus? Let Me Count the Ways....

As you know, I went down to LaCrosse on Tuesday night to sit with my mom while my dad had sugery to have his right kidney removed. (First, before anyone worries, all went well. My dad sometimes has post-op complications because of blood clot issues, but the doctors seem well on top of that. I left last night, so I'm back home, and quite hopeful that things will continue to go well for him.)

But, ever since that fateful WorldCON trip where I showed up in an East Coast city with no underwear or toothbrush, Shawn has taken over packing for me. Because, left to my own devices, things like this happen... I was happily ensconced in the pre-op waiting room Wednesday morning. My mom and dad had gone back to do that thing where they ask you all the questions that they should already know the answers to and make you lay around in an uncomfortably breezy hospital gown until they finally get around to giving you the happy juice that makes you sleep. For whatever reason, the nurse this time only wanted one family member back there, and so I stayed behind. (I eventually decided screw this, and went back to at least give my dad a kiss goodluck and make a few jokes so he could go under with a smile on his face.) But, at any rate, I'm working away on my various writing projects, figured out how to log-in to the hospital's wifi, and then I realized... oh, crap. I'm the one who packed the computer bag. Sure enough, NO POWERCORD.

Now the one thing I will say for my Toshiba (whom I usually refer to as "Pooh Bear, the Computer of Very Little Brain") is that the battery is absolutely phenomenal. I can go for HOURS. And I did. I managed to keep the computer up and running the whole time we waited for my dad to go into ER. I even had a few moments on-line while we were moved up to the family waiting room.

Then, just at the very end of reading a empty_mirrors 's latest online, my battery winked out. But, I was able to comment using the waiting room's public terminal.

The other humorous part of my inability to pack my own technology bag is that my cell phone was also very slowly running out of battery (that, at least I knew about and had a charger in the car.) HOWEVER, it was also running out of minutes. And, just as I was finally leaving LaCrosse for the three hour drive back home, it completely died. I had to use my mom's cell to have Shawn send minutes while I charged it in the car.

I'm such a doofus.

I also managed to lose my .mp3 player somewhere in one of the waiting rooms. I kind of wondered if, because my dad's surgery went remarkably well (fingers crossed), the gods demanded I sacrifice some electronic battery-energy or something. But honestly, that's a fine trade. My dad woke up in recovery making jokes and harrassing the nurses in his usual, pleasant way, and we argued philosophy. My dad, for those just tuning in is a college professor (emertius, now, though of course he's still teaching,) and so while he drifted in and out of sleep I read to him from the book he'd brought. It was some philosophy for children book that was making the case for picture books as helpful for young children to learn about emotions. Being who I am, as I read, I editoralized, and my father would perk up and argue Plato and the other sorts of usual professorial things he does... I love my dad.

So, yeah, it was techno-fail, but papa-for-the-win.

My To-Do List Monday

I have a lot to do today. I totally forgot to take some hardcopies of Messiah Node over to Uncle Hugo's these last few weekends, so I'm going to have to make the dreaded trek over to Minneapolis this afternoon once they open and bow and scrape my apologies. (Keep in mind, if you don't have an e-reader, Uncles is still your go-to place for copies of the AngeLINK books. They are selling the last of the essentially "new" copies. I bought them direct from Penguin when the books were remaindered and so they've never, ever been opened or read by another soul.)

Also, I have a contract to sign. I never know how soon it's kosher to announce such things, but my agent scored a deal with Audible.com to publish audio books of all five of my Garnet Lacey books. The biggest hold up at the moment is that I'm trying to sign electronically, but I'm apparently the biggest computer dork on the entire planet because I can NOT figure out where the supposed "sign" button is. I've sent help messages to my agent, so I'm sure after she finishes rolling her eyes at me, she'll have advice and we'll get it done. I can't even offer to print out the contract at home at the moment because of the art project that ate my laser printer... I still have gummed up iron on sheets adhered to the roller of my printer. But, you know, if that was really what needed doing I'd just go to Kinko's or one of those places or start door-knocking on all my friend's doors until I found someone willing to let me print the thing out.

But, so that's a HUGE yay!

And, as I hinted at in another post, I have a lot of writing to do. I've got people interested in some proposals, and both need sample chapters. One of them, I will say, is for SAMURAI HIGH and, after consulting my YA expert (Mason), I've decided to recast the book in first person. Mason reads all the books in the target age of that proposal and a lot of them, like his favorite, Percy Jackson is written in first. The thing is that I'm pretty strong in first, and, when I restarted, MY GOD, THE WORDS STARTED TO FLY. So, I feel like this is a good move. And I'm super-excited about it.

Also, and this is less thrilling, but my dad is going in for surgery... possibly on Wednesday. It's a continuation of some of the health problems he had a year ago, so it's a bit... nerve-wracking. I'm sure it'll all be okay, but I'm driving down to be with my folks if the surgery goes. LaCrosse isn't far away and I probably won't end up staying terribly long, but going involves a lot of getting groceries and other errand type things in order so my family has food and whatnot without me.

So it will be a very busy day. But, a lot of it is busy that I'm so incredibly happy to be doing.

Fan Art

Last night, Kyell Gold was in town and he invted me and naomikritzer to hang out with the folks at SofaWolf.* I had a tremendous time. Perhaps the tiny bit of hard cider I injested helped me be loud and boisterous, and I remember standing at the threshold when it was clearly time to leave still shouting excitedly about Harry Potter. I'm fairly sure they had to shove me out the door and I was still talking to myself as I walked down the drive to my car....

At any rate, I bring this up because among all the things we talked about I was surprised (and extremely pleased) to be asked, "Why Renji?"



My surprise was that I never expect anyone to be familiar with Bleach. Ever. I know it was on Adult Swim here and plenty of people watched it, but I still always expect blank stares when I try bringing up my fandom. It's too "old" for a lot of the young Anime fans, and it's awfully "boy" for a lot of the folks I know. At any rate, once I got over my shock, I had to try to consider the question seriously.

I don't really know. I mean, my friend Kate always tells me that my personality better matches Shunsui Kyouraku, the boisterous-yet-wise captain of the Eighth (with his hot pink kimono and traveling samurai straw hat). Plus Kyouraku has clearly been in a long-term relationship with Ukitake that rivals that of Shawn and I. So why Renji?

Ultimately, I think I feel a kinship with his indominable spirit. I have always striven to get back up when I'm knocked down, and that's Renji to the core. His backstory is also deeply, deeply compelling to me... and it resonates with some of my personal experience (or at least that of those around me.) I didn't grow up as desperately poor as he did, but the neighborhood I grew up in had a reputation for being "the wrong side of the tracks." Going to college was not necessarily the norm among my neighborhood friends, and when, after redistricting, some of the South Side kids had to go to my high school, I learned all about how people judge each other over class.

Class is something I find endlessly fascinating. The ways in which poverty affects people, too. That's some serious sh*t, as they say.

Plus, I think, as a writer, the other thing that appeals to me about him is the range of his personality as shown in canon--he can be really, really goofy but also very serious. He's personable enough that you could potentially pair him with almost anyone, and all of that that lends itself nicely to a variety of storylines. He's also one of the shinigami that bridges the gap. He's just as comfortable in the Human World as in the Soul Society, so you can put him in either place or let him jump back and forth--which makes him more accessable to a reader, I think, because he can use casual language and modern referrences (and yet can be baffled by certain things for humorous effect). In canon, he's also almost always AT LEAST tangentally involved in all the storylines, so you can pull him from any point in the time-space continuim, depeding on the story you want to explore. Plus, since he's so close to his zanpakuto, he's a great vehicle to explore all the magical sword/soul connections stuff that really gets me going about Bleach.

Anyway, it was great to find someone who would at least nod and smile when I talked about this and they reminded me of the awesome that is Captain Komamura, too. (This one is by Tite Kubo, not me:)



They told me a wonderful story about a cosplayer who surprised Kubo-Sensei by doing a perfect bucket-head costume while ALSO doing the fox-face underneath. And, we spent a lot of time talking about the cool ways in which Bleach can appeal to furry fans, both with Komamura and Yoruichi (and Gin and Renji if you buy my personal head canon.)

Did I meantion I had a blast? I did. What awesome folks! You should all go and check out SofaWolf's website and follow them on Twitter!

---

* I will remind anyone just now tuning in that you are no longer ever allowed to snicker into your sleeves about furries or furry fandom in my presence. Look, I get it. I used to feel the same way before I met furry folks and realized just how much furry writing I actually enjoy. But, I have never met nicer people then the ones I shared Gaylaxicon with, so just forget it!

A Wild Ride

Yeah, 2013, you certainly are planning on being IN-TER-esting, aren't you?

First, there's a lovely review of Archangel Protocol (e-book) by Joanne Hall on her blog "Making Things Up For a Living," http://hierath.wordpress.com/2013/01/09/book-review-archangel-protocol-by-lyda-morehouse/

In other news, it does appear that 2013 is going to be "The Year Lyda Does ALL THE THINGS." I've got a lot of things in the hopper all of a sudden, none of them sure-things, but all of them ridiculously exciting. I don't mean to be one of those people who is super-cryptic about 'seekrit projects,' so I WILL say that I have some interest from editors for a couple of the proposals that have been sent out to various publishing houses. TWO completely differnet editors looking for sample chapters FOR TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT BOOKS. So this means I'm going to be doing a lot of writing on books that may-or-may-not ever see the light of day. However, that DOES really seem to be the trend (to have something in-hand), especially when you're in the boat I'm in, which is to say, where I'm potentially switching publishing houses (and yes, that means I haven't ruled out the possiblity of sticking with Penguin, should I come up with something they might be interested in.)

So, I'm going to be head-down over a lot of POTENTIAL these next few months. Proposals going to the old publisher and sample chapters going out into the world for new editors!

I feel like those guys from BAKUMAN all of a sudden! Hopefully, I won't end up in the hospital from exhaustion (though if I do, I hope I'm writing while recovering!)

As one (or rather several) sure thing projects for 2013, I'm also signed up to be in the Loft's catalogue for the Teen Summer Program for two potential classes. The first will be a somewhat straight-forward science-fiction/fantasy class called, "Beyond the Zombie Apocalypse: Writing SF/F For Teens," and second (which I'm super-excited about becaus it may be the only one of its kind) called, "ALL THE FEELS: Fan Fic 101" a how-to class for fan fiction writers. I've also gotten a proposal accepted for an on-line class for SF/F writers in the intermediate stage of their career called "Over the Transom," which will be a six week class.

I'm also considering offering a class on how to write slash for adults. That one is in the idea stage only, though I do possibly have some people willing to host me as a teacher.

Wow, right? It's crazy around chez Morehouse right now. But crazy in a GOOD way.

Thanks and and Update

First of all, thanks for all the comments and insights y'all left on Saturday's post. It turns out that, FOR ONCE, karma did not bite me on the butt. Usually, when misunderstandings like this happen, everything falls apart for me and I wonder what on earth I did in my past life that makes everyone drop me like a hot potato the first second I step a millimeter over the line I never even saw drawn in the sand. (Wow, how many metaphors CAN I mix in one sentence?) At any rate, the annoyingly cryptic update is this: things are fine now. We're all fine here. How are you?

Maybe this is one of those coffee filter moments from my first moments of 2013. I thought I had a problem, but it turns out I had what I needed all along. The solution was just a bit different than what I was expecting. I don't know, but one part of my interpretation of my supersition that I hadn't factored into how this year would turn out is the emotional rollercoaster-y-ness of it all: AGH! NO FILTERS! AH! AH! Oh, it's okay now. I got this.

And "no filters," seriously? Given my recent trouble is that some kind of broad METAPHOR, universe?

Ayi, ayi, ayi.

At any rate, good things continue to happen while I run around like a chicken with her head cut off. If you're interested in reading an interview with me, there's a new one up at Sense of Wonder, the kind folks who wrote the latest glowing review of Archangel Protocol (e-book). You can find it here in Spanish: http://sentidodelamaravilla.blogspot.com/2013/01/entrevista-con-lyda-morehouse.html

Or, if you prefer, in English: http://sentidodelamaravilla.blogspot.com/2013/01/interview-with-lyda-morehouse.html

Check it out if you have the time and inclination. It's rather short, but the gist of it that I'm a big ball of goofy dorkiness that waxes nostalgic for old cyberpunk tropes.

Okay, I'm off. Shawn has to bail from work because she has a nasty headache, and I'd really like to get some original work done today so I can write ALL THE PORN tonight.