Adam Heine's Blog, page 30

Reasons to Quit Writing

A lot of people quit writing because they wrote one (1) novel and were told it was no good.



Now I don't care who told you that -- whether it was agents, editors, Gene Wolfe, or your mom -- that is a terrible reason to quit writing. Of course your first novel is no good.



Here are some real reasons to quit writing:


You actually want to make money.
You'd rather watch Downton Abbey.
There is a contract out on your life, and you have to stay off the grid.
Telling stories is against your...

Describing Beauty

If you don't remember, I suck at description. But that means I learn obvious lessons all the time and can pass the savings on to you!



Today's lesson: describing someone that is beautiful.



My problem was I didn't want to just say she was beautiful (although I did that too). I wanted to show it. But how? What features are beautiful? Long hair? Sparkling eyes? Pink lips?



Turns out (and this will be obvious to most of you, but such are the depths of my sucking) that the specific features don't...

What Are Your 5 Worst Movies?

Disclaimer the First, when I say worst movies, I don't mean B-movies or movies that are so bad they're good. For example: Army of Darkness, B-movie that revels in its B-ness. Surf Ninjas, so bad it's hilarious (my family still watches it). My "worst movies," on the other hand, are those I would rather didn't exist.



Disclaimer the Second, I can only talk about movies I've seen. There are a lot of movies I've heard are bad, but if I haven't seen them, I can't rank them. I guess my life is rich...

Sketch: Dogs

"They're PEOPLE! And they're playing POKER!"







(Cross-posted from Anthdrawlogy).

Good Critiquers Make Suggestions

Is this controversial? I don't know, though I've heard people say they don't like it when critiquers suggest ways to fix things or (gasp!) try to write the scene in their own words. "It's my novel!" they say. "How dare they try to write it for me!"



Me? I love it. Sometimes it's because the critiquer is a much better writer than I am, and I steal their suggestions outright (with permission, of course). But most of the time I love suggestions because it helps me really see what the problem ...

When Your Agent Asks You For Revisions

To me, writing a novel -- trying to make a dozen characters and themes and motivations and goals all fit together in one comprehensible mass -- feels like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube.







It takes years, but then one day I'm all, "Holy crap, I did it, guys! I finished the cube!"







Even better, I show it off to agents, and one of them says, "That's a great looking cube. Can I represent you?" And, well, you know how that goes.







Then my agent says, "Now before I can submit this to pub...

In Which I Work Up the Nerve to Edit Something

There's a lot of waiting coming up in the next few months, in which I have to just hope that Air Pirates is good enough. In which I have to write the next thing. The thing is, I have at least two finished drafts sitting on my computer, one of which probably will be the next thing, but I'm having trouble working up the nerve to edit them.



This is what's going on in my brain, then. Welcome to the crazy.



Brain: Work on Post-Apoc Ninjas. It's pretty good, and it has a lot of the same feel as...

Answers (and...nothing, just answers)!

Susan Kaye Quinn asks: Katniss or Hermione?







Cool as Katniss is, I think she'd be a bit too crazy for me. Plus I gotta go with the book girl, even if she is a bit pretentious about it. Hermione.





maine character says: Your bio says you were a software engineer. Which OS do you prefer, what software do you use for your writing, and can you hack me a ticket to the Super Bowl?

I was a software engineer. I've worked on every OS that matters (okay, that's not true; I've never worked on Haik...

Question Time (and INCARNATE Giveaway Winner!)

The winner of my INCARNATE giveaway is...









Myrna Foster! Congratulations, Myrna. E-mail me with an address and preferred edition (hardback, Kindle, Nook book, etc), and I will get your copy of INCARNATE to you, post-haste!



The rest of you: go buy your own!



Also IT'S QUESTION TIME! Ask me anything you want in the comments -- serious or silly, professional
or totally inappropriate, about writing or Thailand or who would win in a fight between the Emperor and the Lord Marshal. Seriously,...

INCARNATE Giveaway Finalists

On Monday, we had a caption contest to win a copy of Jodi Meadows' debut novel INCARNATE. You guys did not make it easy to choose finalists, and I am incredibly glad I decided not to pick the winner myself.



That's your job now.



Without further ado, here's the picture and the finalists:













poll by twiigs.com





The poll is open until Friday, when I reveal the finalist's names and announce the winner. If for some reason the poll isn't working, you can vote in the comments.*



ALS...