S.A. Alonso's Blog, page 4

Eclectic Spirituality and How I arrived here in my Spiritual Journey

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I think I’ve kind of figured out where I am now on my spiritual journey, after years of experimenting and talking to people and being in different spaces and just absorbing everything I can about everything.

Yup, I’m an Eclectic Spiritual Person. And very proud of it, though the Bible is disapproving. Haha.

So here is my journey: Was born to a strict and very religious dad, who still is very religious but something about his religion I can’t quite connect wi...

How I got over Limerence for a Kpop Idol

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Remember DBSK?

No? Yup I’m just showing my age haha.

I’m not too sure how it began, but after graduating high school, a friend introduced a couple of Kdramas and Kpop music to me – there was Goong with Joo Ji Hoon and Yoon Eun Hye and Delightful Girl Choon Hyang with Jae Hee and Han Chaeyoung, as well as My Witch Yoo Hee with Han Ga-in.

One thing led to another and soon I uncovered Xman with Yoo Jae Suk – that got me on the path of Korean varieties (they were ...

6 30s and beyond Adult friendship challenges – What are they?

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It’s one of the biggest problems that plagues many in our society – from late 20s to 30s and beyond. The minute we graduate from college, we slowly start to find that it’s getting harder than ever to:

Maintain friendships Find new friends

Post-college life has different stages, marriage, moving to a different state for work, children, huge responsibilities like caregiving, purchasing a house/big ticket items, health.

Some things will no longer matter, the...

How do you know if you are experiencing limerence – 12 symptoms

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What is limerence? As a recap:

Limerence is a profound state of intense longing and infatuation for someone even when it is not reciprocated. It involves intrusive thoughts, fantasies and mostly exists in the limerent’s mind.

dorothy tennov

Many times when we get into such a state, we do not know the reason why and we can’t quite identify the symptoms correctly or realise what it is we are going through.

Hence the unhappiness and the pain carries on. And we liv...

Can you recover from retroactive jealousy?

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Retroactive jealousy, what is it? It is when you feel threatened by your partner’s past relationships and exes, although your partner may no longer even be in contact with them.

Retroactive jealousy usually has several very distinct characteristics. Intrusive thinking about your partner’s past, stalking your partner’s exes, constantly feeling like you cannot trust your partner, questioning their feelings, constantly asking your partner about their ex and needing reas...

How do you know if you have retroactive jealousy?

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What is retroactive jealousy?

It is when you feel threatened by your partner’s past relationships. This could be due to a few things – insecurity, low self-esteem, fears, many reasons.

This threatening feeling can feel very consuming and like your entire life is being taken over.

Many people who are experiencing retroactive jealousy aren’t actually sure that what they are going through is retroactive jealousy. It can feel very “normal” or “usual” if this has ...

Can limerence turn into love?

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One of the biggest questions that limerents always ask about.

It’s the number one wish and fantasy isn’t it? Someone that you’ve been eyeing for awhile and who has been in your thoughts for such a long time – years even – could fall in love with you and you, with them.

But there are a couple of things here that we need to consider first.

What is love?

The word love is thrown around alot in our society but what is love really? The sociologist and late autho...

10 Obvious Signs of Limerence Symptoms

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There are always signs and as I call it in research, antecedents or factors that determine if someone is little more pre-disposed to something, in this case, limerence, compared to others.

Let’s look at the 10 signs and symptoms I tend to see in my work with limerent individuals over the years. Some people experience just a few of these, whilst others experience the whole gamut of it.

#1 Attraction to emotionally unavailable people

This includes everyone from ...

Let’s stop wasting time and energy on men you don’t even like and who don’t share your values

Let’s start this with a story from my friend.

So a friend was traveling in a very exotic country and she had a (male) guide to accompany her friend group and show them around the country. Throughout the 2-week trip, she received many incredibly creepy and uncomfortable comments from this man that “grossed” her out.

He’d get close to her and smell her hair, wiped her scarf on his face, “jokingly” asked her to rub her hands on his face, talked about her in a lewd manner with other male stra...

How to 100% Cure from Limerence – The Re.Live Limerence Model

Whenever we are limerent, or when we are feeling some type of way (i.e. angry, sad), or something has happened, the immediate thing that most humans jump to is to immediately find a solution.

And whilst that works more likely in perhaps.. in your job or career, it doesn’t always quite work in our personal lives. This is because matters of the heart aren’t always that easily solved. Solutions do not mean much if

Step #1: Diagnosis – Why are you limerent?

Here is where the bulk of ...