Tara Mohr's Blog, page 20

Playing Big Registration is Open!

I’ve been feeling so energized these past couple weeks as I work on creating a fabulous experience for the women from around the world who are signing up to be a part of my upcoming Playing Big course. The course is phone/online-based, so you can attend from anywhere around the world.

For the next few days, I’ll be sharing more about the Playing Big program. If you know it’s not a fit for you at this time, please tune back in to the newsletter late next week, when I’ll be publishing my regular blog articles again.

If you want some support around your playing bigger, please check out what I share on the program page and in the next few emails. They’ll be packed with information about the course.

You can hear from graduates (including ones in your industry), learn more about how the course works, and get your questions answered at the beautiful information page HERE. Come check it out.

With love,

Tara

the story behind the pics

I want to tell you the story behind these new photos.

I didn’t schedule a photo shoot. I didn’t pay attention to hair or makeup. I didn’t think through what I was wearing that morning.

I’ve been working at a beautiful, new co-working space – The Hivery. It’s an amazing place that supports women in creating the lives and work they desire.

In that community, there’s a lovely woman, Sophia Mavrides, who is a brilliant visual designer and photographer, and she offered to take these pictures as a gift.

I’m honestly a little surprised, and teary, that I could show up in a community where I felt comfortable enough to ask someone to help with photos – and help that very same day – so I could send them on to Design*Sponge for a quick turnaround. It was incredible that that person said yes. And while I truly love (and believe in) paying other women for their work, it was also very special to do something outside of that transactional mode. And it was incredible to have such a beautiful place, a place lovingly created for women, to take those photos.

I was surprised to observe in myself an attitude that was essentially this: “I’m going to take some quick photos at the end of a rather hectic day, without any attention to my hair or makeup, and with no thought to what I’m wearing, because I have bigger fish to fry today, and I’d rather look like the real me anyway.”

That attitude in me is partly, I think, a fruit of motherhood but it was also about the place and way these photos were being taken. With the support of people who embrace me, value me for my contribution and make me feel at home, I didn’t have some of the self-objectifying and self-critical thoughts I’d otherwise have on a photo-taking afternoon.

Bigger picture: I’ve also been surprised by the practical benefits I’ve seen in this community. In the past, I’ve been skeptical, even disdainful, of communities of freelancers or entrepreneurs who end up selling services primarily to others in their community. There can be a kind of echo-chamber quality to that, and a way in which people never do the business-building work of figuring out how to serve customers beyond those they know.

Yet in the past few months, I’ve seen something that changed that narrative for me. I’ve seen this community truly help its members grow their businesses within and beyond that community – giving them opportunities to try out new products and services, and to build credibility and an initial customer base that lays the foundation for a larger one. They can also trade and gift services in a way that creates incredible value for both parties. It’s been really amazing to watch, and it has given me a whole new perspective on how communities can support entrepreneurs and spur business growth.

I am an only child. I grew up with lots of friends, but not with what I would call community. Community – understanding what it is, finding the communities that are right for me, feeling a sense of belonging – continues to be a growth edge in my life.

It has been so moving to me to be a part of (and feel a part of – that’s the harder part, no?) this particular community at The Hivery, and to see how it is nurturing all the women who are a part of it, including me.

So what does this all mean, and why is it relevant to all of us?

1. Hurray for virtual and independent work, but don’t forget about the nourishment of community. It’s remarkable to be alive in this time when working independently and flexibly is easier than ever, but this wonderful way of working can also leave us isolated. Virtual communities can make a huge difference, and physical community undeniably gives something different and is also important. You intuitively know if you need more in-person community in your life, and if you have that knowing, I hope you’ll listen to it and do something about it.

On that note: before this co-working space existed, I was part of a small, roving co-working group with a few other women entrepreneurs. A few days a month, we met in one of our homes, working in a shared space for the day, then breaking for a long catch-up, brainstorming, laughter-filled lunch. It was amazingly nurturing for all of us – personally and professionally. Any woman working from home can do that – for free – in her community. Just put out the call.

2. Hurray for doing inner work, but don’t forget about the importance of being known and loved by others. I’ve spent the last several years helping women develop the inner resources, the mindset shifts, and the daily practices for their playing big. This is so important, particularly as a corrective to the way women are socialized to put others’ opinions above their own, to people-please, and to turn outward rather than inward for guidance.

And yet, another truth is that love and acceptance from others matters. This is one of the reasons I believe in teaching group courses, and in having a group move through the material together and in dialogue with one another.

Being seen for who we are by others matters. Both inner work and supportive relationships are needed.

I know that many of you already live and breathe community in a way that I am eager to learn from. I know many of you, like me, find this an area with some edges and challenges. I look forward to hearing everyone’s thoughts and wisdom in the comments.

Love to you –

Tara

bright skies

Good morning!

Photo courtesy of Hi5Studio, taken at The Hivery Coworking Space & Inspiration Lab

Once again I’m in New York City, traveling for work & fun with my husband and toddling little one. I don’t think I could love the hustle bustle of the city any more than I do.

And, at this time of year, added to that fluttering energy and ever-amazing people watching are bright blue skies, crisp winds, and blossoming trees. To me, it’s pretty heavenly.

This week I have an essay at Design Sponge, a site that I adore – all about creativity, women’s entrepreneurship, and stunning design innovation.

I’m writing about women Unhooking from Praise and Criticism – a topic that, as many of you know, is very close to my heart, and is so important for anyone doing creative work, or anyone engaging in that ultimate of art-making activities: crafting a life.

Please come visit the essay over at Design Sponge, and share your thoughts in the comments here.

(And – stay tuned for my next post about the behind-the-scenes story of the lovely new pictures in this article! It’s a good story.)

With love,

Tara

p.s. – A reminder! The Playing Big course is coming. Read my recent post about it, and SIGN UP to get the details HERE.

Oprah.com & A Special Reminder

It’s hard for me to put into words how much Oprah Winfrey’s work has meant to me over the years. It would take hours to tell you all the ways her shows, her example, and her teachings have shaped my life.

That is why it’s particularly sweet and happy-dance worthy for me to be sharing some thoughts about moving past the inner critic in Oprah’s Spirit Newsletter this week! You can read them HERE. 

 

I also want to share a special reminder that the next session of my Playing Big course is coming up soon. This is my virtual (phone and online-based) course for any woman who wants to play bigger in her life and work. We cover a wide range of topics from quieting the inner critic, to discovering your inner mentor, to unhooking from praise and criticism, to becoming a more powerful communicator. If you think you might be interested in the course, please sign up here for our advance notice list. You’ll receive more details about the program and access to our early bird registration discount.

And last but not least, some inspiration for you:

With big hugs,

Tara

 

The Playing Big Course is Coming!

Good morning!

I’m thrilled to share with you that the next session of my Playing Big course is coming up!

This is my course for any woman who wants to play bigger in her life and work.

It’s for you if you know you have a message you want to share, a change you’d like to bring about in the world, or a creation you want to bring forward and yet … you are still being held back by fears, the inner critic, or feeling unsure of exactly what you want.

It’s for you if you’re looking for a greater sense of freedom, self-expression, and boldness as you do your work.

In this course, you’ll learn the skills and tools that have helped thousands of women play much bigger:

how to determine what playing big looks like for you, in this particular season of your life

how to quiet self-doubt and fear

how to unhook from praise and criticism so you can do your best and most revolutionary work

how to reliably access your own inner wisdom and discern the right answers for yourself

how to communicate with power and grace

how to negotiate more comfortably and effectively (and recognizing that you are negotiating every day!)

how to approach concerns of not being qualified, expert enough, or “ready” to do what you long to do

how to play big while caregiving

and … much more.

This is an online and phone based training, so you can attend from anywhere in the world, and in a way that works with your schedule.

The course runs for six months, with our next session beginning in early May and continuing through October 2016.

This is an opportunity to get support, community, and accountability as you learn and apply the proven Playing Big approach.

The Playing Big model has been featured in venues ranging from The New York Times to The Today Show and has brought about powerful life and career changes for thousands of women around the world.

If you would like to know more details about the course and have access to our early bird discount, sign up here. You’ll be added to our special list for course information, and you’ll receive more details in early April.

With love,

Tara

A You-Shaped Hole

Sometimes the world feels inhospitable.

You feel all the ways that you and it don’t fit.

You see what’s missing, how it all could be different.

You feel as if you weren’t meant for the world, or the world wasn’t meant for you,

as if the world is “the way it is” and your discomfort with it a problem.

So you get timid. You get quiet about what you see.

But what if this?

What if you are meant

to feel the world is inhospitable, unfriendly, off-track

in just the particular ways that you do?

The world has a you-shaped hole in it.

It is missing what you see.

It lacks what you know

and so you were called into being.

To see the gap, to feel the pain of it, and to fill it.

Filling it is speaking what is missing.

Filling it is stepping into the center of the crowd, into a clearing,

and saying, here, my friends, is the future.

You don’t have to do it all, but you do have to speak it.

You have to tell your slice of the truth.

You do have to walk toward it with your choices, with your own being.

Then allies and energies will come to you like fireflies swirling around a light.

The roughness of the world, the off-track-ness, the folly that you see,

these are the most precious gifts you will receive in this lifetime.

They are not here to distance you from the world,

but to guide you to your contribution to it.

The world was made with a you-shaped hole in it.

In that way you are important.

In that way you are here to make the world.

In that way you are called.

– Tara Sophia Mohr

For more on callings, click here.

For more on telling your slice of the truth (that concept has helped me so many times, click here.

For more poems from Tara, .

With love,

Tara

what’s inspiring me lately…

Pretty much anytime between 2009 and 2015, if you asked me what I’d been reading lately, my answer would have been:

“Not much.”

Occasionally I’d read a great book, but really, I wasn’t reading that much. I didn’t have an appetite to consume content – even to watch TV or movies.

In hindsight, I can see what was happening. I was in a long period of creating, not consuming – a time where the primary energy was about bringing forth what was inside me. In part, I think because my creative self had been locked up for so long, there was a lot to bring out.

Hundreds of blog posts, one poetry book, and one nonfiction book later, my energies are shifting.

I’m in that glorious transition period between one body of work and the next. I feel lucky to be experiencing it as glorious. What can be hard about a transition period is the not knowing what’s next, and the fears about aimlessness or lack or productivity that can come up. But without those fears or narratives, which thankfully haven’t come up much for me this time around, the transition period can become a time for reflecting, absorbing new ideas, doing fascinating research, and exploring directions in a light, low commitment way.

It is also a time of spaciousness – making space to receive ideas and inspiration. Wandering down the street is a form of working, and simply paying attention to the life and stories in front of me is a form of working, too.

Since I’m consuming more content these days, you can expect to see me sharing more of the highlights with you. I’ll be sharing what I find especially moving and illuminating – gems I think you’ll love and be helped by, too.

Here are a few:

This rich essay, “Growing Together” by Thich Nhat Hanh. Partly about relationships, partly about everything.

This essay by Dani Shapiro – on writing, creativity, and life. It’s so calm and still that reading it is like moving into a deeper space, a meditative moment. Her insights are so illuminating, too.

This surprising study, published in Harvard Business Review, about the long-term career effects of taking an entrepreneurial path. (Spoiler alert: happy findings!)

Sending love to you today,

Tara

P.S. BAY AREA FOLKS: I’m speaking at Woven World on March 5th in San Francisco and would love to have you join us!

a conversation with Jonathan Fields & Erin Moon

One of my favorite afternoons of the past couple months was the one I spent recording for Jonathan Fields’ Good Life Project podcast.

I walked out of the Good Life Project studio so grateful for the enlivening conversation, and wondering how I could bring more conversations of such richness into my life.

I’m personally a subscriber to Jonathan’s fabulous podcast, so of course that made it extra special to be part of the show.

In this episode, Vancouver-based yoga educator, Erin Moon, and I join as guests.

Jonathan gave us a fun homework assignment – to each bring three topics of interest to the discussion. Our conversation will span three episodes of the show over the next few weeks.

In this first part, we talk about:

Do great leaders doubt themselves? Doubt their work?

What’s happening with so many westerners reaching east for their spirituality?

Is mindfulness always a good thing? What causes it to sometimes do harm?

You can catch the episode here.

(And seriously, I hope you’ll subscribe to the podcast – Good Life Project is one of my favorites. I’ve learned so much from listening and come away so inspired.)

Hugs,

Tara

the laughter

A couple of weeks ago, I had the privilege to see Hamilton on Broadway.

If you haven’t heard about it (and if you missed their Grammy performance and acceptance speech), Hamilton is a stunningly brilliant, brave, creative new musical about Founding Father, Alexander Hamilton. The show, created by Lin-Manuel Miranda, tells the story of Hamilton’s life in rap and hip hop. The parallels between our Founding Fathers’ fight and the fight of immigrants and people of color today are rich and resonant.

I had tears streaming down my cheeks through most of the three hours, not because the show is sad but because that’s generally what happens to me when I encounter a courageous and original work of art. That night, I couldn’t sleep, I was so moved by the show (and I had seen the matinee, but it still kept me up!).

Afterward, my husband and I dug up a video clip. It’s from 2009. At the time, Hamilton wasn’t a show, even in the mind of its creator. Lin-Manuel Miranda had written one song for what he was then describing as an in-the-works album about the life of Alexander Hamilton. He performed that one song at the White House Poetry Jam (warning: there is adult/explicit language in this clip).

Here’s what shocked me: the audience is laughing in response to this song. The idea of a rap about Alexander Hamilton is considered funny.

And to me, in the video it looks like Lin-Manuel Miranda is struggling a little as to whether to side with his very serious passion for this character and his story – or to meet the audience’s tone and deliver his music in a more campy, satirical way.

What Lin-Manuel Miranda performed that night is the same song that now opens the show. When it’s sung in the theater now – a Broadway theater filled with people who paid a huge amount to be there, to see a work that has been critically acclaimed – the room is full of reverence. The audience is completely hushed, rapt. There is certainly no laughter.

This little parable matters for all of us.

When we bring something truly innovative into the world, it’s often met with ridicule, scoffing, laughter.

The question becomes: Do you know not to take the laughter personally? Do you know it may be the mark of your creativity – nothing more and nothing less?

And can you stand by your work long enough to see the laughter change to something else?

Love,

Tara

p.s. Want to watch video clips of both versions? You can find them here and here. Warning: there is explicit/adult language in the song.

sorry, just and the other things we say…

“I just think…”

“I actually disagree…”

“I’m no expert in this, but …”

“Does that make sense?”

There are a number of little turns of phrase – these and others – that women commonly use that undermine how powerfully we come across.

Recently, there’s been a ton of media attention around this topic. Much of the media coverage has directly referenced my writings on this subject.

Unfortunately, many of the TV and radio soundbites have missed the complexity and context that I think is so important for women and men to understand.

I wanted to have the space to talk about the nuances of this topic and address questions I’ve heard from you, questions like,

“If I take all those tentative phrases out of my speech, I’ll be considered abrasive or arrogant by my colleagues. Isn’t it sometimes strategic to soften what we say?”

Or “Why aren’t we telling men to stop saying these things? Is this just one more way of criticizing women?”

And, “Is this really what we should be talking about – given all the issues around women’s leadership and empowerment we could be giving our attention to?”

For more on these and other questions about how we speak and write, check out my essay for LinkedIn’s Pulse here.

Hugs,

Tara