Elizabeth A. Havey's Blog, page 16
February 9, 2020
Strout’s Olive Kitteridge: A Woman of Our Time
Strout’s Olive Kitteridge: A Woman of Our Time
Writing fiction is my passion. While raising my children, I wrote short stories, finding strength in my work when I rooted it in the emotions and conflicts of my own life. This makes me agree with Michael Zapata, author of The Lost Book of Adana Moreau, when he comments on what fiction writers are putting on the page: Every telling of an event is a portrait of the teller, not the event itself.
My interpretation of that statement: The author’s ideas, feelings, beliefs–all reside somewhere in the pages she writes. And going deeper, the actions and statements of a character reveal or mask what and who that character truly is. That’s why we love different authors during different periods of our lives. We change and find those who speak to us. Right this moment, Elizabeth Strout is my favorite.
Strout writes novels, yes, and I’ve read every one. But I also love the satisfying experience of reading an entire story in a brief period of time. Our life styles can demand it, short stories fulfill it, the writer focussing on one character’s experience, inner thoughts and much more. And as you will see, WE GET OLIVE.
MEET OLIVE KITTERIDGE .
“Mousey. Looks just like a mouse.” These are the first words of the irascible and yet in many ways lovable Olive when we first meet her–she providing her opinion of the assistant her pharmacist husband, Henry, has just hired. When Henry replies: “But a nice mouse. A cute one,” of course Olive has more to say.
“No one’s cute who can’t stand up straight.” And you’re reading and straightening up in the chair where you are sitting and thinking, damn, she’s right. And that’s only the beginning, for Olive lives fully in the pages of OLIVE KITTERIDGE and now in OLIVE AGAIN.
ME AND STROUT
I read her first book, AMY AND ISABLE and loved it. A year later, I signed up for a weekend class with Strout at the Iowa Summer Writing Festival at the University of Iowa. She shared her writing process, which is long, with many versions and iterations that she keeps in boxes in her home. She laughed, saying that her in-laws didn’t seem to approve. Well they must now–Strout being a Pulitzer Prize winner for, of course, OLIVE KITTERIDGE.
JUST OLIVE
A former high school teacher, Olive is married to a pharmacist. They have one son, Christopher, and Olive always has problems with the choices he makes. They live in Crosby, Maine and Strout often writes about other married couples in that town. She states: Do I enjoy telling the secrets of old married couples? I adore telling the secrets of old marriage couples. A marriage is always a source of great drama for a fiction writer. It is in our most intimate relationships that we are truly revealed.
OLIVE AGAIN
In the second book, Olive has aged, her pharmacist husband is dead and Olive remarries. But as the book progresses, we truly see the hardening of decision making that does or will affect all of us as we age. We see Olive struggle with wanting to stay independent. We ache when she has to acknowledge she is not as healthy as she once was, all the while being unable to control her sharp tongue. She is now an indomitable character on a precipice: will she reach out and help others or maintain a steely independence that can put her at risk as she ages.
EXCERPT: …Betty showed up–the first home healthcare aid–and she was a big person. Not fat, just big. Her maroon cotton pants were tight on her, her shirt barely closed; she was probably fifty years old. She sat down immediately in a chair. “What’s up?” she asked Olive, and Olive didn’t care to hear that.
“I’ve had a heart attack and apparently you’re supposed to babysit me.”
“Don’t know that I’d call it that,” Betty said. “I’m a nurse’s aide.”
“Fine,” said Olive. “Call yourself whatever you want. You’re still here to babysit me.”
And then, at the very end of this wonderful book:
Finally Olive stood up slowly, leaning on her cane, and moved to her table. She sat down in her chair, put her glasses on, and put a new sheet of paper into the typewriter. Leaning forward, poking at the keys, she typed one sentence. Then she typed some more. She pulled the sheet of paper out and placed it carefully on top of her pile of memories; the words she had just written reverberated in her head.
I do not have a clue who I have been. Truthfully, I do not understand a thing.
If you do decide to join other Olive lovers and read these books or have read them, let me know. And thanks for reading.
P.S. ATTENTION ALL ELIZABETH STROUT READERS: Because OLIVE AGAIN is a book of short stories, Strout does an awesome thing. Every character she has created in her other books, continue to live in her imagination. Thus we again meet Isabelle from AMY & ISABELLE and characters from the BURGESS BOYS. It’s a wonderful reunion to again be with these people and discover how their lives are progressing–or not doing so well. As each story unfolds, the world of the character is revealed in Strout’s tight prose that is truly genius. And as for Olive, she is the most honest, aging woman you will ever meet.
February 2, 2020
YOU’RE NOT JUST LIKE YOUR SIBLINGS? THAT’S A GOOD THING
Your sister’s choice in music makes you crazy. You have no idea why your brother is majoring in geography. You wish your parents would watch the films you recommend. What’s going on here? Well, your family is healthy. They are able to make their own choices. They are DIFFERENT from you.
WHAT MAKES A RELATIONSHIP?
Hearing the word relationship, most of us think family, loved one, friend. And if we have healthy relationships with those folks, we get a warm fuzzy feeling. We know there is warmth and support behind us as we make our way in the world.
But another important word about relationships is differentiation. That word doesn’t sound as warm and fuzzy, but it’s extremely important to a person’s happiness and success. Here are some reasons why.
WE NEED TO BE OUR OWN PEOPLE
When I think of my family of origin, we have strong bonds, but we are also very different. Take careers: one brother is an English professor; one writes music and works in the music industry; I’ve been an English teacher and a nurse. My mother worked in the insurance industry. So healthy!
BUT WHY? YOU MIGHT ASK ANSWER: WE ARE DIFFERENT
We did share likes (music for one, reading for another). But the music thing? We often liked DIFFERENT kinds of music. We were open and didn’t impose our own individual likes. Same with what we liked to read. My mother didn’t ask that we all be the same. She loved that we were different. When there is difference, that is the spice in life, it makes the commonality more exciting. We can share, but our viewpoints can be different–because we come from different angles in our approach.
BUT LET’S ASK AN EXPERT; LET’S ASK MURRAY BOWEN
A major task of the family unit is to provide nurturance and emotional support to each child, so that child can self-differentiate from the family circle and go off and function on his or her own. Then each child can achieve emotional maturity and become his own person, able to form healthy relationships. A functional, healthy marriage or long term relationship only occurs between two mature, independent people who are responsible for their individual selves. Family therapist, Murray Bowen, created the term self-differentiation. That’s the process of finding a balance between autonomy (being a separate YOU) and connection (being with OTHERS). It also includes creating goals and working toward them.
Which of Bowen’s statements, defining self-differenciation, applies to you or your children or grandchildren?
1. I understand the position I hold in my family, and the power given and not given to that position.
2. I am committed to be fully responsible for my own life, while committed to those I love.
3. In developing autonomy, I set goals for my dreams and ambitions, yet develop intimacy by allowing those close to me to see and know me as I really am.
4. I can tell people what I need, ask for help, but not impose my needs upon them.
5. I am able to detect, to know when my controlling emotions and reactive behavior have sent me in the wrong direction; then I decide, instead, to use creative thinking to make better and more purposeful choices.
A CONCLUSION: (Long ago I gave up the search for the arrival of a Knight in Shining Armor who would save me from the beautiful struggles and possibilities presented in everyday living! It’s much better to make your own choices. ) Learn more go to: http://www.difficultrelationships.com/2006/03/25/bowen-differentiation/
Can you share any of the ways you helped your children or grandchildren differentiate– or how you helped yourself??
ARWORK: PriciliaNHaha
January 26, 2020
My Inside Scoop On Caucusing in Iowa
We moved from Chicago to Des Moines, Iowa when my husband was offered an executive position in the expanding insurance industry there. We settled into an older home on a tree-lined tree, with deer feeding across our back fence and warm and welcoming neighbors. For the first caucus, I drove to the local grade school gymnasium with my neighbor, Alan. Our party lost that election. But politics is often about “where you are in your life.” A new job, settling into a new community, focussing on raising your children can blur political lines. I wouldn’t say I was at the WHO CARES point, but I wasn’t very engaged.
NOW THAT I’M A TRUE IOWAN…
For the second caucus, I owned a dark navy blue sweater with the American flag on the front. That night, I wore it. My husband & I sat in chairs in the same grade school gymnasium. There were many candidates. We paid strict attention, voted for our candidate–who subsequently did not have enough followers. What we will never forget is one older lawyer in the community sequestering his group in a side room–something we were sure was not part of the protocol. But what was happening was this ground-roots feeling of involvement. We mattered. Yes, our votes had always mattered, but this was feeling more personal.
WILL THIS BE JUST ANOTHER CAUCUS NIGHT?
For the last caucus we attended, (We have subsequently moved to California and now vote like everyone else!) we had formed strong relationships with local movers and shakers. We had attended the Jefferson-Jackson dinner in Des Moines which introduces all of the Democratic Party candidates, and there were many: John Edwards, Bill Richardson, Chris Dodd. We met Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton that night. But we didn’t know much about this new candidate from our hometown, Chicago, Barack Obama.
CAUCUS NIGHT SURPRISE!
Our son, Andrew, was now older and becoming more interested in politics. On the night of January 3, 2008, my husband I walked to the same gymnasium in drizzling rain–Andrew going off to be with his friends. You couldn’t find a parking space. People were flowing into the building. Because we were caucusing for Hillary Clinton, we had duties to perform, assigned to us by a close friend who was heading up her Des Moines Campaign. As the hour drew closer to start time, we lined up on either side of the entryway waving flags and signs with our candidate’s name. A few Obama followers lined the other side of that hallway.
But then everything changed. The doors opened and people began to pour in, more than we had ever seen in our years caucusing. This time it mattered more. This time the people pouring in were waving Obama signs and right in their midst was Andrew.
RESULTS!
Barack Obama won the Iowa Caucus that freezing-rain night. Because Hillary was our first woman candidate for president, it took me a while to change my allegiance, but when I did and she gave her “glass ceiling” speech, I was there, dedicated, calling people, doing the door-knocker thing, whatever Obama’s campaign asked me to do. Days before the election itself, I drove back from Chicago where I had been visiting my mother, making my way immediately to a central point in Des Moines, where, with protective guards on the rooftops and helicopters in view, our future president gave his last address to Iowans. And because I had worked the campaign, I was upfront and able to shake his hand. (President Obama did not forget his Iowa beginnings. For the 2012 campaign, he was in Iowa in the East Village the night before the election, and thousands gathered.)
WHY THE CAUCUS PROCEDURE MATTERS
The late Tip O’Neill, who was Speaker of the House of Representatives and a Democrat, is often quoted as saying, Politics is Local.
He’s right. When decisions by powerful men and women fail to devolve down to WHAT YOU NEED, in your life, your neighborhood, your workplace, you feel disenfranchised. Politics is not working for you. The power to vote in primaries and in elections helps keep politics local. And the Caucus process emphasizes that. There is a reason that candidates spend money and time talking to people who live in Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada and South Carolina–the contests that start things off.
HOWEVER, LIFE IS NEVER SIMPLE. Here are some of the Caucus NEW RULES:
The most important number to remember for the Iowa caucuses is 15 percent.
That’s the minimum level of support that the Democratic candidates must get to achieve viability at most caucus sites — so candidates who get LESS than 15 percent must realign to a different viable candidate, or join with other non-viable groups to get to 15 percent or above.
Bottom line: If you’re a candidate that can’t sniff 15 percent, you’re really not a player on Feb. 3.
To read more about the changes in Caucus rules go here.
FINAL BOTTOM LINE… Read, listen, watch, VOTE. And thanks for reading.
January 19, 2020
BECOME A WARRIOR FOR THE PLACE YOU LOVE
I have two daughters. I gifted each of them with a summary statement declaring WHO THEY WERE when they were only two years old. I was forecasting, observing, guessing, but I was also right on. My first daughter was a calmer, more reflective child; the second I referred to as a “warrior child,” because from the beginning she was eager to move, to get her life going in a physical way.
And in their adulthoods, they are both WARRIORS. One is a landscape architect on the east coast, working with schools who want to repurpose their buildings so they are “green”—using healthy paints and building materials. The other lives on the west coast raising my grandchildren, but also working with organizations to help disadvantaged women and children.
And me? I am part of a group of women who fight for progressive government actions, help disadvantaged families, register teens to vote, elect the right school board members and make phone calls to support honest and decent political candidates.
FLY-OVER STATE? Maybe they don’t exist. Here’s why…
A month ago, my husband finished a call with an old friend, who had proclaimed, as only this old friend could—that California is a fly-over state. The urban dictionary defines fly-over as: States in the middle of the United States that generally aren’t destinations for travelers or tourists and are generally flown over when traveling from place to place. Of course, it’s a derogative term.
We lived in Iowa for 17 years. I loved living there, though one thing I did complain about was having to transfer when flying to LA or New York City. So for Iowa, that definition has a partial meaning, but certainly not a full meaning! When I lived there, Barack Obama won the Iowa Caucuses. I studied at the University of Iowa, known for its school of creative writing. In the capital city, we had an excellent symphony, a wonderful opera and Broadway theatre events that arrived just later than the true Broadway. Plus, I met and went to lectures with amazing thinkers, writers and politicians. Small can be mighty. Small can be a warrior.
BUT WHY THE SLUR ABOUT CALIFORNIA?
The guy doesn’t live here. I’m not sure he has ever visited. CALIFORNIA is not a fly-over state, but he obviously does not agree with the things we are doing here. Like: fighting global warming (our wind and solar farms); saving water (we need to work harder in that area); creating a diverse population—we are a diverse state, our elected officials are diverse and a great number of them work hard to help our citizens through expansive healthcare plans, public education, libraries & public transportation. Yes, our state has made mistakes (insufficient affordable housing, insufficient transportation from suburbs to cities where most of the jobs reside, high fuel prices.) Often the decisions that were made in the past (like falling in love with automobiles instead of public transportation) are hard to change when the infrastructure (and the surrounding mountains) are fighting such a change.
But in terms of educational centers, art galleries, recreational centers and the ability to experience the beauty of nature, history and culture—we are a destination state. And to continue to maintain that calling, we have become a warrior state, made up of many warriors. From the northern wine country, through the literary-art centers of San Francisco, the tech centers of Silicon Valley, the film industry and entertainment centers of LA to the Naval bases in San Diego—the state is working to stay ahead of the curve. Some battles it is winning, some I fear it might be losing, like our autumn fires. Like money having more power than the needs of the people. Like some people in Silicon Valley thinking only of making money and not of helping upcoming generations.
But it’s so easy to be out of loop of information and decision-making, to simply toss out a label. I read the LA TIMES every day and I’m not thrilled with all the decisions that are being made, but I also see our state struggling when Washington makes judgments that go against what we want. One example being fracking. But we will fight back.
WARRIORS ALL
Maybe the answer is for each of us to attempt to do ONE THING each week that increases our knowledge concerning our country, state, city, village, neighborhood. You decide. You choose. AND READ.
Where we live and how we live is vital to our mental and physical health. Sometimes the smallest change (like educating ourselves on a subject we don’t fully understand) can help more people in our communities than just us.
My youngest child, my son, has lived in many diverse neighborhoods, and now in Chicago, he has become a warrior of the present, using his warm smile and open heart to do his job, reach out to others, write music, live his life. My husband works with people who have become homeless, who need and want a job. He has had many successes, understands the process, has become damn good at it.
Each of us can choose something WE CAN DO. Whether it’s writing a check or getting out there with hands eager and a smile to help—we can all be warriors—eager to move, get life going in a physical and dedicated way. No fly-overs here.
Thanks to MARK NELSON, ART: DOWN TO THE TOWN
January 13, 2020
Mom, I Get It Now…
We all have mothers and as we proceed through our lives, we sometimes question the actions of our mothers. Obviously, we stand in a different place in time, look at things from our perspective, our generation.
I have vivid memories of the phone calls my mother and I had every night around 5:00. No matter how long I had been married, no matter whether she was still working or now retired, we had our five o’clock phone call. Every week day and often on the weekends.
My mother was always supportive of me, my choices, but I smile remembering the phone calls when my daughters were both in grade school.
We had a wall phone, the one with the long cord. Mom would call, begin with the simple aspects of her day and mine. But then she would often launch into what was going on in THE WORLD, and often it was about children starving in Africa or a war that had forced families from their homes. MY MOTHER HAD A HUGE HEART. But while we were chatting, daughter Number One would pull at my arm needing help with a math question—daughter Number Two often right behind her with a similar question.
Sometimes, I would smile, trying to stay with my mother’s conversation, maybe pointing at something that might help with the math question, or whispering some direction. Often I would walk into the living room (the cord would take me) so as to escape my daughters, give my mother an answer, give her the attention and time she also deserved.
I don’t remember being further confused by call-waiting. But I do remember I was often trying to prepare dinner, so there was some food either on the stove or in the oven. Let’s just say it could become a mini-chaos.
But my mother was RIGHT. Her heart and mind were open to critiquing the laws and actions of governments that bind us together, that make the environment we experience safe for raising children, for our very lives. I was fortunate and my mother needed to tell me about those who were suffering. She needed to share with another human being her feelings about the lack in government, the laws that were wrong. My mother was totally amazing. And now that my children are grown, now that I am living those “beyond children” decades, I better understand my mother’s giving and passion.
A MOTHER IN MY FICTION
That understanding has even worked its way into my fiction. This from a work-in-progress.
Ella would always defend her practice of medicine, because she was a part of it—medicine was what she was. It was not unlike when she had defended certain aspects of current culture to her mother. Cecile ripped apart the changing mores of society, but Ella defended change, because the result was Ella’s society and culture. She lived in it and dealt with it and so had defended it. She couldn’t condemn what was part of her, what she had embraced and brought Sarah into. If she had condemned all of it, then she would be condemning herself.
But now? The awful things that happened to other people had happened to her, had touched Ella and David in the tenderest of places. Their daughter was missing. Sarah was gone. Gone because of a society full of people who did not obey basic laws and mores; gone because Sarah’s mother and father were a part of it, hadn’t fought it, and had, over time, insidiously succumbed to it.
A FINAL THOUGHT
No matter where you live, Dear Reader, or your age or the ages of
those you love, we all must care every day about what is happening in our country and to our democracy. We all must read and seek TRUTH, educate ourselves. We cannot turn away, saying:
“What goes on over there won’t hurt me.”
Or “I’ve got money in the bank, so I’m okay.”
Or “It’s not hurting me so I don’t really care.” IT CAN HURT YOU.
My mother believed in connection. Maybe walking the streets of Chicago to the train or sitting in doctor’s offices as she aged or talking to me about my day or SIMPLY LOVING HER FAMILY, made her a stalwart believer in making things right. In helping others.
I think of her often. I do my best with my actions, words and thoughts–like this blog post. And once again, I thank you for reading and I think the drawing above adds to the message.
P.S. This post is late because we did not have internet access for almost two days. So I apologize for the delay and thank my dear friend RENA, for helping me with this.
January 5, 2020
IN THAT MOMENT…
IN THAT MOMENT…
You remember things. I was in our dining room, it was evening, the shades pulled down, the newspaper on the dining room table. I picked up the front section, began to read a column. I can’t remember who the columnist was or if I had ever read this person’s work before. But there it was: In Nazi Germany there were Jewish men forced to sit on the city’s busy sidewalks with signs around their necks: I RAPE GERMAN WOMEN.
I was in grade school, probably in fifth or sixth grade. I considered myself smart. But I had no idea what that meant. What was rape? And w hat happened next is not clear in my memory. I did ask my mother when she came into the dining room, “What is rape.” And she must have answered, but I can’t remember what she said, and so it must have been vague, like “a way to hurt a woman.” I don’t fault her. The question came out of nowhere and my younger brother was in the room. And is was dinnertime and she was on her schedule!
But in that moment, my brain knew to store the event. But why?
WRITERS, THINKERS, WE ALL STORE STUFF
As a writer, I have lived other such moments. As a writer, they appear in my fiction. They light up the thought processes of my characters. My personal experience lives on the page in an attempt to illuminate the human process of wonder, of questioning. And whether it’s a female or a male, I want to reach out to my reader who also grew to adulthood through experiences, maybe like mine, whose life is filled with moments of learning, realizing—a kind of growth that is often shocking, full of fear or at the very least hard to believe or to understand. And sometimes, truly hard to picture.
WHAT CAME NEXT?
I have been safe, and always attempted to keep my children safe. I have also been drawn to events that make me cringe for a child, a young girl or boy—like the story in the film, ROOM, which is based on a book by Emma Donoghue who probably read about real cases, one a well-known California case–but the girl was forced to bear more than one child. Fiction from reality. And there are many more. But that moment in my childhood stayed with me, and like Emma Donoghue, reappears in my work-in-progress.
MORE MOMENTS…
Being a child without a father, living in a house without a man and a woman to show me the way, this also happened. I was at a friend’s house, the father came home from work and grabbed and kissed my friend’s mother. Was that rape? Of course not, but I quickly said goodbye to my friend and went home. I didn’t feel I should be there. I didn’t understand.
In my novel, I have my character use a dictionary to look up the word instead of asking her cold and distant mother. She reads: Rape: sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury.
Sex. Intercourse. Sex—this only raises more questions. My character gets lost in the dictionary. But after a time when it is all too confusing, she concludes: Was that why the boys tried to lift the girls’ skirts?
SUCH MOMENTS IN OTHER STORIES
I just finished reading a novel HARRY’S TREES, by Jon Cohen. His tale springs from one basic idea that I’m sure emanated from his childhood: “When you climb a tree, the first thing you do is hold on tight.”
The character must, because his wife, the love of his life, is killed in a freak accident in the first chapter. We never really get to know her, but that’s not the point. And though there is an awful lot about trees and caring for trees and loving trees in this novel, what the author truly wants to say when his wife dies and his brother tries to cheat him, and he then falls in love with a woman whose husband died from another freak accident, is that IN LIFE, WE MUST HOLD ON TIGHT.
Again, as a writer, I believe this is what fiction can be about. Yes, many read to get lost, to imagine. Who doesn’t love a good LOVE STORY. But there is also that touchstone: I experienced that. Yes, that’s like MY LIFE.
Or it could be the exact opposite, “My life is so boring and normal that I escape into the horrors, escapades, crazy events in the life of others.”
Whatever your reason for reading novels, watching films, diving into STORY, in the end, we all become better at understanding others. And in this New Year, when you are dealing with happiness or sorrow, when you are challenged through work or family or your daily choices, PLEASE HOLD ON TIGHT. PLEASE HELP THOSE AROUND YOU LEARN. There is no better resolution to make–right now, IN THE MOMENT.
ART: Thanks to Kathy Lynn Goldbach Ticking Clock Paintings, Fine Art America
December 29, 2019
Make It Simple, in 2020
In a few words, I want to wish you well, as another New Year comes our way. Maybe the love that each of us feels for something–for family, for friends, for our gardens, for the lonely relative we are helping, for our pets–maybe that love can grow and expand all of our actions. Maybe that love can help us push away fear, extend a hand when needed, smile more, read more, take some lines of poetry and truly read them, make them part of our day to day lives.
I will have more to share with you during 2020, but today the poem above might help expand your own horizons. I know that I will be experiencing change this year, and I am fortifying myself for that change with these words and with other lines of poetry. Why poetry? Because the poets are often close to God, or if you prefer, to philosophy. They see in and beyond. They hold in their words a world of truth. They fortify our hearts and souls.
So today, I am wishing you everything that is good, that can bring joy to you and to those you love. That can fire the spark of love, or at the very least, the beginnings of peace in others. Thanks for reading, Beth
LIVE YOUR QUESTIONS NOW, AND PERHAPS EVEN WITHOUT KNOWING IT, YOU WILL LIVE ALONG SOME DISTANT DAY INTO YOUR ANSWERS.
December 22, 2019
Sending the Light of Words & A Big Thank You
Every evening during this winter season, I enjoy the Italian lights on my Christmas tree and the candle that burns in my family room. But even more I enjoy the light of words, the words on the page of the book I’m reading. Or the words of dialogue in a film or some other entertainment that my husband and I watch together. It’s involving and meaningful to enter another world, to experience how others react in situations of love, worry, happiness and sorrow. We learn more about our humanity through reading or experiencing the drama and comedy of how others live. Sometimes we cry, often we laugh. But always we learn.
And when joining with family and friends to celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah and then the New Year, I wish you all moments that light up winter darkness, that encourage you to share the light of understanding–or a wonderful family story that makes those you love laugh or cry.
And thank you for reading BOOMER HIGHWAY. See you in 2020!
always, Beth
Photo Credit: These are California’s 10 Darkest Places for Star Gazing: BIG SUR
December 15, 2019
WHAT GIFT WOULD YOU GIVE?
One my family’s favorite Christmas experiences is listening to the opera, Amahl and the Night Visitors. The night visitors are the Three Kings, who stop at the poor dwelling of Amahl and his mother, asking for food and a place to sleep. Amahl, who since birth has needed a crutch to get around, asks where the kings are headed. They point to the gifts they have set at their feet, relating that they are bringing such gifts to “The King.” Of course, the king is the Christ child, recently born and now among us. But Amahl and his mother who have but crusts of bread, don’t understand why three kings need to gift another king. Eventually one of the kings describes that this Christ, is no ordinary king:
On love, on love alone he will build his kingdom…
His might will not be built on your toil.
Swifter than lightning, he will soon walk among us;
he will bring us new life, and receive our death.
And the keys to his city belong to the poor.
Amahl, on hearing these amazing words, immediately offers to this newly born king, the only gift that he has–his crutch. Though his mother protests, Amahl works to stand, to offer his gift, and a miracle occurs: Amahl is able to walk. The story and the music by Gian Carlo Menotti reminds us of the true meaning of Christmas. It is to GIVE, not to receive.
FAMILY TRADITIONS
When composing this piece, I googled “unusual family gifts.” But all I found was material things. We all know that this is the time of year, no mater what your religion, or if you don’t proclaim religion at all, that FAMILY and FRIENDS are the greatest of gifts. What could replace:
Having someone to hug you.
Having a voice on the phone proclaim their care and concern for your welfare.
Being able to awaken in a bed that holds you and protects you from the cold of the season.
Sharing a meal, a glass of wine, Christmas cookies with family or friends or both.
Knowing that when doors open, the people on the other side will welcome you, once again celebrate the friendship you share.
THE PERFECT GIFT
This is the time of year we can lift up the spirit of each person we know, we truly love or we just met on the street. We do this by offering a smile, a kind word. Christ didn’t come to the earth with a scepter and crown. He came to earth as one of the poor–but he was loved.
Offer YOURSELF, YOUR HUMANITY. You will be like Amahl, holding out his crutch and receiving a miracle in return.
Wishing you love. Wishing you safety. Wishing you miracles–the smallest are the best.
WHAT GIFT WOULD YOU GIVE? Merry Christmas, Joyous Holidays
always, Beth
Artwork, unknown, Pinterest
December 8, 2019
December: Voices, Memories, and Giving
“It’s coming on Christmas.”
The voice may be tenor or soprano. The music may be folk, modern or classical. Whatever your choice, it now begins—Christmas music reemerges as we celebrate the season in sound. We hum, sing along. My husband and I move from Diana Krall and Bill Evans, to the Robert Shaw Choral, Vince Guaraldi’s Charlie Brown Christmas and Amahl and the Night Visitors. Everywhere, there’s wonderful variety, music becoming the focus of family parties, school celebrations and church events. Music is tradition. Music is memory.
REPETITION AND REMEMBRANCE or “GET ON YOUR FEET”
What song do you look forward to singing? Do you play old records or click on Spotify? Some of you might be part of a church choir—your practice sessions now increasing as the pace of the season heats up.
Music captured my younger brother in his teens, became his lifelong career and passion, so at Christmas, his Christmas Dreams collection is a favorite. He and my son will grab guitars, play, sing, fill the house with sounds of the season—and they’re always open to requests–grandchildren, cousins, everyone dancing. Be joyful, move your body—that’s all that’s required. Got a new move? Share it, for Christmas from the beginning was about new life, about blotting out the darkness that pervaded much of the world, about lighting candles, fires, and gathering people together to share food, drink and love.
DECEMBER: A TIME FOR EVERYONE
The very existence of Christmas, of celebration will always be connected to new life, the birth of Jesus Christ. Echoing that, new life is the cranberry bread you make every year and share with teachers and neighbors. It’s the lights you hang on shrubbery, trees and doorways to light up your surrounding world. It’s a warm room, maybe a fireplace burning and always a hug for those who come through your door. Just think: even though Australia and countries on the other side of the equator are unpacking their summer clothes—it’s still “coming on Christmas.”
And yet, there are always shadows that even a brightly lit world cannot dispel. This is your first Christmas without a parent, a spouse, your closest friend. This is a Christmas where your time will be spent visiting your son in rehab or remembering to take medication for a recently developed condition. Some of you will travel to rejoice with family and friends, or to mourn with them. I often chuckle when remembering a phone conversation with my dear mother. She was getting ready for a trip, called to tell me she’d had a good day—she had all of her medications packed. Ah yes! Anybody able to relate?
MORE VOICES…
Chris Erskine, in his column this week, reminded his daughter: “Everybody’s someone.” That statement is always true, but during this season when emotions become heightened, memories can hang over a day like a dark cloud instead of mistletoe. So please remember that. Right at this moment, my husband is delivering poinsettias to folks who purchased them to help support his efforts with the homeless. You could ask yourself, do I really need “another ornament” for the overloaded tree? I know I don’t, remembering that my mailbox has been full of organizations asking for help. And there’s Lawrence O’Donnell’s Kids In Need of Desks, KIND, sponsored to help school children in Malawi have desks to write on at their schools.
Whatever your December brings to you, I hope you will experience joy, contentedness and a desire to reach out to others. After all, the season is only beginning and though I don’t know about you, I haven’t put up my tree yet!
Artwork: thanks to Nancy Haley nancyhaleyfineart.com
P.S. I want to thank you for reading and commenting. I now use MAIL CHIMP to get these posts to you. So, Gmail users, to make sure you are getting my posts in your PRIMARY MAIL and not PROMOTIONS, the next time you get my post, if it is in PROMOTIONS, just pull the notice into PRIMARY and all future posts should be delivered to PRIMARY. Problems, please let me know. Thanks, Beth
