Judy Davis's Blog, page 3

Small Business: Success is a Process

It’s so easy to get discouraged when things don’t unfold according to our timetable isn’t it? I don’t care if it’s in my everyday military life or through my small business dealings but I get frustrated when things aren’t moving fast enough.  I think that because I want something to change in my life, that it should happen now.  I also believe that if I want something bad enough that I should see results when I want them – but that’s often not the case. The reality is that while we can increase the chances for success sometimes results come very differently than what we expect – which isn’t easy.

In the past I’ve written about expectations (here), and success (here) but sometimes I struggle to be ok with having the patience to wait for results to catch up with my vision – and I know I’m not alone. For many of us it’s hard to understand why things aren’t unfolding according to our plan and when we can’t see the payoff for our efforts or find a better way to speed up the process we may want to give up. But giving up isn’t the answer. In fact that’s the opposite of what success is all about.

Instead of questioning and being frustrated with why things aren’t unfolding quickly enough what if you changed your thoughts.  How would your life be different if you believed that every “delay” and “road bump” was actually a necessary step in preparing you for the exact thing that you want.  What if in order for your dreams to manifest fully, you could trust the process knowing that you are acquiring skills for that moment when everything comes together?

As you read this poem, consider what if patience was the missing link to small business success…

Within our hearts, each of us has dreams, like seeds 
waiting to sprout and grow into beautiful flowers.
We are anxious for all these dreams to come about;
we long for something we can’t have at this moment.
In order to nurture your soul, you need to realize this
and accept the fact that all things come in time.
You must learn to be patient and yet to persist.
~John Gray



~Judy Davis, the Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, author, lifestyle blogger as well as a military life and teen suicide prevention expert. Co-founder of DASIUM , Judy’s books Right Side Up  and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Risk? are go to resources for families and those looking for direction. Connect with Judy at TheDirectionDiva.com

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Military Life: Digging Deep To Find Your Awesome

Yesterday, after a week away on business, I had the opportunity to do some major people watching at Chicago O’hare. I was exhausted and keeping to myself as I traveled back to my military life when behind me I heard a young couple deep in conversation. I didn’t want to eavesdrop, but I couldn’t help myself, their conversation was so interesting. To sum it up – sometimes we have to dig really deep to reveal our own awesomeness.

I don’t know if it was the fact that I was in a sweatshirt and yoga pants sporting a super sexy pigtail or that I was embracing my inner introvert, but I knew awesomeness was so far off my radar that I had to hear what else they had to say. I never did get the piece I wanted – you know the how to dig deep when you feel anything but awesome part – but the exchange helped me see that our awesomeness changes as we do and it’s up to us to uncover it.

Just days earlier as we wrapped up multiple DASIUM events, I was feeling the awesome. Yesterday as I got dressed and realized my pants were tighter, awesome – not so much. The ebb and flow of awesome is so prevalent in my military life that it gets to me sometimes. One minute I am thriving, the next I feel as though I’m on a sinking ship without a lifeboat. Sometimes I see my strength and other times I’m reminded of how far I have to go. And even on days like today when I have to dig really deep to find my awesome I don’t always recognize that it’s there.

In listening to this couple, I realize that we all have things that sets us apart from others and makes us amazing.  For some its a smile or a laugh, for others it’s a fire that burns from within.  It may be the way you make people feel or how your attitude is contagious each time you walk into the room. And today awesomeness may look different from how it did yesterday.

As military spouses it’s up to us to dig deeper to uncover the new awesome that lies within. Every day we are growing and changing, learning new skills and moving forward because of our experiences, and sometimes it’s hard to see the positive effects of those experiences.  And it’s up to us to dig deep to uncover the new awesome and then share with the world.

But how do you dig it up? How do you uncover your new awesome (especially when you feel anything but)?

Bottom line in order to acknowledge the growth and embrace the “upgraded” version of who you are becoming take some time to answer these questions:

What am I excelling at in this moment?
What brings a smile to my face and makes me feel accomplished?
What inspires a happy dance or high-five?
What pushes and inspires me differently than it used to?

Knowing these things shines the light on what makes you unique (and awesome) in this moment. It’s not about arrogance or pride, it’s about seeing yourself in a different way. A way that is founded in reality. We all are constantly changing, but we are often the last to see the changes within ourselves. Which is exactly what this couple was talking about.

How do you dig deep to find your awesomeness?

 

~Judy Davis, the Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, author and lifestyle blogger as well as a military life and teen suicide prevention expert. Co-founder of DASIUM , Judy’s books Right Side Up  and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Risk are go to resources for families and those looking for direction. Connect with Judy at TheDirectionDiva.com

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Military Family Fact Check: What You Need To Know About Your Dental Insurance

This post was sponsored by the MetLife TRICARE Dental Program as part of an Ambassador Program for Influence Central.

My military family is a bunch of fact hounds. Between my husband, daughter and son there isn’t anything they don’t know. If that wasn’t bad enough,  my daughter married another smarty and the situation just intensifies. Shocker, my grand-daughter is following suit so I’m sure before she turns five she will know more tidbits and facts than grandma does – I’m not kidding. I’m just not a fact person – that is unless it has anything to do with insurance, doctors or mathematic theory.

I am a geek at heart, even got my degree in mathematics with a specialization in calculus theory, but facts are just not my thing. I’m a big picture visionary and theory type of person and the details and facts I leave to the family – unless they have an immediate impact on my daily life. And since my daily life is about juggling the challenges and change that result from my military life that includes all things Tricare Dental.

Now I know this is a sponsored post, but let me tell you over the last 3 years I have thanked my lucky stars that we had dental because the stress of my military life has made me a clencher and a grinder. It may not seem like a big deal but split 6  teeth and need major dental work and you will sing the praises of Metlife until the cows come home right along with me. Our family saved THOUSANDS – no joke – thousands of dollars because we took advantage of the optional coverage from day 1 and so should you.

Over the last 3 months I’ve been doing a series on the benefits of the Metlife Tricare Dental Program (read part 1 here and part 2 here) and in doing so I’ve learned some facts. Facts that even my family doesn’t know appreciate this benefit so much more! Go Judy!!

Did you know that your military family:

Has access to over 250,000 locations within the largest civilian dental network.
Can use the services and there are no annual deductibles or co-pays (INSERT HAPPY DANCE HERE)
Doesn’t need to worry if little Johnny or Suzie fall and bust their tooth (been there done that with my son) because TDP has an Accidental Annual Maximum of $1,200 per beneficiary per plan year.
Has low or no cost-shares on many dental services – including preventive and diagnostic – and the premiums are totally within your budget. (Trust me we did it back in the day when we had 2 teens on a PFC salary)
Can have TDP coordinate with other supplemental coverage  – win win!
Can interact and ask questions on the MetLife Tricare Facebook page  or their Twitter page– you know you are on there anyway so this makes it easy :)!

See you can be a fact checker too!!

Please remember that this is separate from your Tricare Medical and you aren’t automatically enrolled in this program you must enroll in the program to have access.

Here’s how:

Online: (www.tricare.mil/bwe),

Phone: (1-855-638-8371)

Fax: (1-855-763-1337)

You can also download the registration and mail it in

 

~Judy Davis, the Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, author and lifestyle blogger as well as a military life and teen suicide prevention expert. Co-founder of DASIUM , Judy’s books Right Side Up  and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Risk are go to resources for families and those looking for direction. Connect with Judy at TheDirectionDiva.com

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Military Family: Fighting the Beast of Addiction

As a mother of someone in recovery my heart broke today. Not for my son, not for my military family, not even for myself but for every other son and mother out there who continue to fight the beast of addiction. My son was (is – if I’m willing to accept that) addicted to prescription meds and alcohol. Even after 3.5 years of recovery under his belt, I still have a hard time using addict or alcoholic to describe him.

My baby is so much more than an addict, in fact if you met him (even at his “bottom”) you probably wouldn’t have suspected the demons he battled. Which is why today my heart was shattered when I happened upon a young man who had not been allowed to board his flight because he was too drunk. Sadly, he had relapsed.

What made it particularly hard was that he wasn’t a belligerent obnoxious drunk. In fact he was kind and understanding of the airport personnel. He was respectful, , well-mannered and he was completely broken. He just sat there – head in hand with a look of bewilderment in his eyes. He had no idea how he had let it happen.

To top it off, his biggest concern wasn’t about himself, it was about how he would call his parents and say he missed his flight home. My tears flow freely as I write this waiting to board my next flight.

I hate addiction. I hate the pain it causes the addict most of all. And before you dismiss his pain and judge him or say he brought it upon himself like so many others are murmuring around me, you only need to look at the broken spirit that was once this young man. Because trust me he never wanted to bring this kind of pain into his life.

So I sit here and do the only thing I can. I close my eyes and I pray hard for him. I look to my higher power and give some other mom’s baby to God’s care. It takes everything in me to resist my urge to sweep him up in my arms and say it will all be ok. But my Ala-non step work has taught me that this is his battle and I can help him most by staying out of business that isn’t my own.

The truth of whether it will be ok is up to him. But this reality doesn’t change this fact – I hate that the upcoming holiday will be clouded by this moment. I hate he is in pain and I hate that I will have to let go and let God.

I hate addiction. I hate the pain it causes the addict most of all
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This young man was approximately the same age as my son, and while I understand that recovery is a process, the mom in me is angry at the disease and sad for him.

But most of all I hate that it could have been him. I hate that it could have been my son.

That’s the shitty part of this journey. There are no guarantees, there are no perfect answers or words to the wise. It’s a battle that’s won one day at a time.

And today it wasn’t my son and for that I am grateful.

Teen and young adult depression, addiction and suicide are at critical levels.

Learn more about how we are leading the way in suicide prevention at DASIUM.net
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~Judy Davis, the Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, author and lifestyle blogger as well as a military life and teen suicide prevention expert. Co-founder of DASIUM , Judy’s books Right Side Up  and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Risk are go to resources for families and her websites are filled with information for those looking for direction. Connect with Judy at TheDirectionDiva.com

 

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Military Life: Three PCS Strategies You Need!

As I pour my second cup of coffee I am torn between cursing the fact that I’ve lost a precious hour of much needed beauty sleep and shouting for joy because spring forward means warmer temperatures are on the way. I should have thought about this whole time change thing last night when we decided ONE more episode (Netflix is like that) because I’m dragging today. And with a mile long to-do list that isn’t a good thing. Who am I kidding – when don’t I have a mile long to-do list? Since we began our military life in 2008 I can’t recall when I didn’t have a list of tasks that is divided into levels of importance, I’m just grateful that this year my springtime list has nothing on it related to an impending PCS (Permanent Change of Station) move.

Many of my fellow military spouses aren’t that lucky though. Some are doing the PCS happy dance because they got their dream installation assignment, others are looking for their big girl panties as they try to figure out how to make the best of a crappy situation. (Been there – done that. And you can read about it here).

All I know is that when those orders come down, something inside clicks and instantly we are transformed into a spouse on a mission. A mission that often leaves us a frazzled, stressed out mess. But it doesn’t have to be that way – if you are prepared. Here are some strategies that can help you leave the stress behind no matter if you are happy dancing or not:

 

Think Ahead:

In Military life two things are certain. One that everything will change and two unless there are unique circumstances you will move approximately every 3 years. Don’t wait until the last minute. Knowing that the clock resets the minute your spouse arrives at a new installation will help you keep your expectations in check and help you plan your life.

Access Quality Resources:

One of the greatest things about the military community is that you aren’t alone. There are incredible organizations, websites and military facilities that have resources to help you deal with the chaos and change that comes with this lifestyle. One of the greatest resources I have found is the FREE PCS ToolKit that is put out by AHRN (Automated Housing Referral Network). And their 2016 version doesn’t disappoint. In it you will find detailed lists sorted in a timeline fashion that take the guess work out of – well EVERYTHING! Here is a sneak peek of some of the contents.

~ Checklists & worksheets

~ Reminders for things ranging from routine health care your family to tips for taking care of the family pet.

~ Insight on finances and home selection

~ Tips on dealing with travel, taxes, the post office, and SO much more!

Take A Deep Breath

You will get through this, and there will be days when everything goes wrong. But a deep breath and the knowledge that when all is said and done you will be sleeping in your bed calling a new place home in no time!

 

Whether you are new to military life, or you’ve been through enough moves that you cry when someone asks you for your address, one thing is for sure. PCSing is an adventure.

What are some tips that you’d like to share

with someone getting ready for a new adventure?

 

~This post was written on behalf of AHRN but you know me – all opinions are my own :)!

~Judy Davis, the Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, author and lifestyle blogger as well as a military life and teen suicide prevention expert. Co-founder of DASIUM, Judy’s books Right Side Up  and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Risk are go to resources for families and her websites are filled with tips, inspiration and resources for those looking for direction. Connect with Judy at TheDirectionDiva.com

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10 Things Parents NEED to Know About Raising Kids

Raising kids is the toughest job you will ever love. Whether you are a military family or not you as a parent will always wonder if you are doing a good job. From the moment you find out that you have a baby on board everything changes. What you eat and drink, even how you think about your future and your entire life.  Then when they are born, you are responsible for another human beings needs. You are responsible for guiding them and showing them everything from how to walk to how to talk. Your children are your biggest worry and your greatest joy. And everything in between.

Over the last week I’ve watched as my daughter, both of my sister in laws and fellow another military family question whether they are doing it right. From tantrums and school meetings to ER visits and feeling the need to hit the reset button there was a common thread. A feeling that they were doing it wrong, that somewhere they screwed up and should have done things differently.

Military Family: 10 Things you need to know about being a parent:

 

You will screw up

And that’s ok
You will have regrets

Because there are so many factors that you can’t possibly know
You do the best you can in every moment

Never forget that
You know how to help your child better than anyone else

Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise
You don’t have to be “on” and perfect every moment of the day

Stop beating yourself up
You are leading by example

Make it a good one
You will react and say things you wish you could take back

Apologize and do better next time. We all have faults, strengths and insecurities – your child gets that more than you know
You will look at your child and feel pride, anger, happiness, disgust, sadness and bewilderment.

All at the same time
You will wish they were old enough to move out and long for them to come home once they go.

Because a part of you is always with them.

And finally,

10. Being a grandma is SO much easier  than being mom.

You get the fun, you get to support and nurture, but you also get to sleep and leave the worry behind.

~Judy Davis, the Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, author and lifestyle blogger as well as a military life and teen suicide prevention expert. Co-founder of DASIUM , Judy’s books Right Side Up  and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Risk are go to resources for families and her websites are filled with tips, inspiration and resources for those looking for direction. Connect with Judy at TheDirectionDiva.com

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Military Family: Prevent Dentophobia With Proper Care Early On

This post was sponsored by the MetLife TRICARE Dental Program as part of an Ambassador Program for Influence Central.

I hate the dentist. There I said it. Not dislike, not would rather be somewhere else. No for me hate doesn’t even come close to what I feel for any dental practice. From the time I was little I have had to work very hard to get over my fear of all things dental (heck I even shared 3 tips that help me to this day here). I don’t know if it was the dentist who ended each appointment with a kiss on the forehead saying I’m sorry (times were very different in the 70’s) or the fact that I had to undergo years of orthodontic treatments, but the dental chair has always felt like a torture chamber to me and I didn’t want that to be the case for my military family.

I remember sitting in one particular chair 8 months pregnant with my daughter in desperate need of a root canal. It took everything in me not to burst into tears when the dentist told me what they had to do – and how much it would cost. I wanted to run and if it weren’t for the fact that my OB told me that the stress and pain weren’t good for the baby I may have done just that. Instead I sucked it up and with tears on my cheeks I vowed that my children would never have to go through the trauma that I experience at a dental office – even if they inherited my soft and crooked teeth.

Times have truly changed and thankfully my children haven’t had any of the painful or strange experiences that I had growing up. I think that in addition to better oral hygiene, technology and innovation have made the treatment and prevention of oral problems so much better. Even today I learned that the month of February – which btw is Children’s Dental Heath Awareness Month – is the perfect time for your family to revisit and make sure your family is current with the best ways to improve oral health.

Did you know that when it comes to your military family and dental health:

You should start cleaning your infant’s teeth as soon as that first tooth erupts?
To much Fluoride is a bad thing (teach your kids to spit out tooth paste early on)
The AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) recommends that all children should see a dentist by their first birthday.
Applying sealants to your child’s teeth (the moment those permanent molars pop) can save them from developing cavities in those hard to clean spots.
Children often grind their teeth while they sleep which can lead to long term problems with alignment and wear. Talk with your dentist, they may need to wear a guard at night.

I had no idea! For my family all I know is that a big reason my children have no fear of the dentist is

1) I worked REALLY hard to find quality dentist who used state of the art tech and

2) we did each of the things listed above which helped us avoid cavities and so much more.

I truly believe that the sealants and stress relief techniques has helped out the most so I’ll talk about those just a little bit as a celebration of Dental health awareness month. (BTW in case you were wondering, yes our entire family are stress clenchers and grinders – special thanks to the US Army

Military Life: 10 Things Service Members Need to Know – From a Milspouse Perspective

This past weekend I had the privilege of speaking about military life at a National Guard formal event. I spoke to a group of senior leaders sharing some tips and insight that would not only help them do a better job leading soldiers and their families but will save them a lot of grief when it comes to finding that sweet spot between balancing the mission with their personal life.

What was interesting is that so many of them came up to me after the presentation stating that they never thought of military spouses as an asset, nor did they consider many of the points I brought up.

Which got me thinking that there are probably lots of other service members who don’t get it either! So here is a brief synopsis of the top things every military leader needs to know – from the military spouse perspective!

10 Things Service Members need to know about Military Life – from a military spouse perspective

1. We don’t know the rules.

I’ll be the first to admit that the day my husband took his oath and put the uniform back on, I had no idea what we had signed up for …and neither do your families, friends and important people in your life. The moment you took your oath you began a process that taught you the expectations, traditions, and routine of military life. It would be helpful if you clued us in so we know the rules and are able to play the game alongside you.

2. It’s not always easy to accept that the mission comes first.

Nothing prepared me for the anger or frustration I felt when I finally realized that the mission not our family came first. Not because my husband doesn’t care about our family, but he took an oath that put duty above all else. Just because I get it doesn’t mean I like it.

3. Military Life Effects the family in ways that you can’t and won’t understand

When you are away from home we pick up the slack – and out of necessity that means we have to make decisions without you. It isn’t a threat to your ego – nor does it mean we don’t need you. Out of necessity we grow and change in ways that to you may seem strange, but military life molds us, changes us and makes us stronger – and that’s not a bad thing.

4. We honor your life as a soldier but…there are a few things we wish

Please don’t treat us like we are your soldiers – you’ll get a lot farther with a little more patience and understanding.

You have to be trustworthy to expect us to trust you

Be careful of who you surround yourself with – they will make or break your career AND your marriage.

That stinky uniforms/socks don’t belong anywhere other than the laundry room

5. To communicate effectively you must remember that we are each a filter

We listen, talk and think about our conversations by attaching our own meaning to everything we discuss. Everything that transpires between ourselves and other people is filtered through our own thoughts, feelings, opinions and life experiences. Listen with an open mind and remember that others may not think about things in the same way as you do.

6. We’d love you to share your life…just a little

As Soldiers you have to deal with things I will never understand. But we don’t want to be shut out. We don’t want to know all the details of what you are dealing with while in a war zone. But we feel so much better when we share the little things. It reminds us that each of us is dealing with unique challenges and experiencing different things without the other. And that realization will make your reintegration go so much smoother.

7. We don’t think in Bulletpoints

Soldiers and civilians think differently. You think in bullet points and short stories and we think in romance novels and sitcoms. We want it all to go smooth and be wrapped up in a pretty bow all within 30 minutes. You all want it outlined and done in 5. There is a happy medium and patience is the key.

8. Technology is a blessing and a curse.

Not many of us can be without our smartphones, but boy can they cause problems. Dropped calls, auto correct and a text delivered to the wrong person can spark a war at my house.

Don’t be stalkers looking for reasons to get your panties (or boxers) in a twirl and don’t jump to the worst case scenario if you can’t get in touch with your spouse immediately. We live in an instantaneous world, but military life isn’t conducive to that.

9. Military spouses can be your worst enemy or your greatest asset. You will have

From whiners and gossips to bully’s and advocates you will deal with many different military spouses, and spouses are an important component in today’s military community. They can be are an incredibly powerful tool that is at your fingertips IF you work with them. We are the eyes and ears that can be an asset when it comes to insuring that your troops are prepared not only for duty but for the battle beyond the battle.

Spouses are the first to notice red flags when something is amiss and have intimate knowledge about what our service members are going thru. Spouses aren’t an extension of our service members, but rather an incredible asset to our troop’s well-being. We are the people will take care of your service members and the effects that war has on their physical body and emotional mindset long after their time in service has ended,

Utilize us as an asset and please don’t think of us as just a necessary evil you have to tolerate.

10.Lastly I want to leave you with this:

War impacts everyone in different ways and those who love and care about you will see the effects of your time in service long before you do: PTSD, Depression, Addiction, and Suicide are real concerns.

If you get nothing else from what I’ve shared tonight please know that above all else

It’s ok if you are not ok,

But it’s not ok for you to ignore it and do nothing. You must know the warning signs so that if you, a battle buddy or a family member is struggling you have the tools and information to get them the help before it’s too late.

 

 

~Judy Davis, the Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, author and lifestyle blogger as well as a military life and teen suicide prevention expert. Co-founder of LivingThruCrisis.com , Judy’s books Right Side Up  and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Risk are go to resources for families and her websites are filled with tips, inspiration and resources for those looking for direction. Connect with Judy at TheDirectionDiva.com

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Military Family Friendly App Lists that Are Grandma Approved!

This morning as I sip my cup of coffee and hear the familiar sounds of my husband puttering through his morning routine I’m reminded of how much I miss it whenever he is gone. This realization sparks a memory and instantly I am taken back. I see my soldier’s face in front of me for the first time since the day he boarded that bus is a feeling I can’t describe in words. I look into those brown eyes and finally know he is safe – for now. I grin as he lifts the screen and shows me what his CHU  – Containerized Housing Unit – a converted shipping container that has become his home while on deployment. Our conversation is cut short by a siren and his quick glance toward the door. We quickly say our sign off – love you, love you more and the screen goes dark. I stare at the machine wishing it would come back to life. When we became a military family I never knew how much technology would play a part in our lives.

Tech is so integrated into how we communicate and connect with each other when he is away. It also plays a huge part in how we stay in contact with our adult children now that they have flown out of the nest. From cell phones and tablets to apps and software, technology really is such an important tool that makes our lives better.

For those of us who didn’t grow up with smartphones and apps the difference between now and 25 years ago is astounding. And I wonder what is next. I recently spent the weekend with my 3 year old granddaughter and was blown away at her ability to navigate a touch screen and interact with a tablet and my Samsung Note 5*. Her parents are Apple peeps and grandma has an android or “big phone” as she called it. Within minutes she discovered how to navigate to the games and was moving candy all over the place. Imagine what she will experience with her granddaughter.

I decided to search for some great apps that I could put on my device so she would have “grandma approved” games to play. So I went to my technology go to (and favorite service provider) Verizon to see if they had any recommendations. And I hit the jackpot!

Awesome links with lots of Military Family Friendly Apps

Best apps for new parents
Best apps for kids
Best educational learning apps for toddlers & preschoolers
Math apps so good your kids won’t know they’re learning
6 top apps for high school students

Now to let my grandma shine through….

Tips for childproofing your smartphone/tablet

What are your favorite Military Family Friendly Apps?

 

~Judy Davis, the Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, author and lifestyle blogger as well as a military life and teen suicide prevention expert. Co-founder of LivingThruCrisis.com, Judy’s books Right Side Up  and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Risk are go to resources for families and her websites are filled with tips, inspiration and resources for those looking for direction. Connect with Judy at TheDirectionDiva.com

Disclosure: As a member of the Verizon Lifestyle bloggers I receive various devices and accessories to try and share how I use them in my military life. As always all opinions are my own and you get the real scoop not something someone asks me to write

 

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Military Life: Using Logic to Handle Change More Effectively

A while back I had the privilege of attending a recognition dinner where a wonderful speaker talked about how to deal with changes that come up in our lives. Immediately I knew that I could apply her brilliance to my military life in so many ways. For me when things are changing my emotions get the best of me and I struggle to get things done. I wander from “project” to “project” never quite finishing anything to completion.  I can’t think, can’t be productive and certainly can’t focus on much of anything. And then I get more stressed because of my lack of activity.

As I listened there were tons of great insights, but two things stood out – the importance of staying logical rather than emotional and having a plan (especially when dealing with business). It was a lightbulb moment when I put 2 and 2 together and realized

IF YOU HAVE A MILITARY LIFE PLAN IN PLACE, WHEN YOU FEEL GOOD YOU WILL BE ABLE TO GET INTO PRODUCTIVE ACTION IMMEDIATELY

When we feel good, we get things done.  But too often instead of taking action when we feel good we take up our “action time” with activities that feel like they are productive, but really don’t get us anywhere.  Things like making a list, calling a friend, getting organized so we can work…you know the stuff we do to make us feel productive but really isn’t.  So how do you stay in a place of logic and not emotion when dealing with all the changes in military life?  By creating a plan, and here is a simple way to do it!

Ask yourself “What is it that is changing”?  Write it down. For example I will be moving in 2 months (totallyemotional and twhirly would describe my state of mind!)  So for me the “Plan” will be about my move.


Change: MOVING



Write down a list of tasks that you need to do in order for your Change to happen (This is the overall plan of action that you will refer to as you set up your daily “task list”)


I went to a military resource and printed out a “Military To Do List” that outlined every task that needed to be done before, during and after our PCS 



Every evening write down a list of tasks that you need to do the next day in order for you to feel that your day was productive and successful


My list for today:  Sort all Business Stuff, Get rid of clothing that doesn’t fit, Contact housing office, Make transportation appt, Research homes in Colorado



Prioritize your daily list based on what task will bring the most positive and impactful result

Priority #1: Sort business Stuff (it is what is causing me the most stress)
Priority #2: Contact Housing office
Priority #3: Research Real Estate offices


The next day take action and do the TOP 3 items on the list BEFORE you do anything else!
Ask for help!!  Just because it is on your list doesn’t mean that YOU have to do it, it just has to get done!

What was great about this entire process was that once I had the overall plan, I relaxed, became less emotional and could take action.  We often get all messed up because we don’t know what to do, and  therefore our emotions take over; but once we have a tangible plan, we can get back to the logic, let go of the emotion and move forward.

 

~Judy Davis, the Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, author and lifestyle blogger as well as a military life and teen suicide prevention expert. Co-founder of LivingThruCrisis.com , Judy’s books Right Side Up  and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Risk are go to resources for families and her websites are filled with tips, inspiration and resources for those looking for direction. Connect with Judy at TheDirectionDiva.com

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