Chris Eboch's Blog, page 26
March 18, 2014
Romantic Suspense on Sale
Whispers in the Dark
$.99 SALE 3/17-21: Whispers in the Dark, by Kris Bock:
Young archeologist Kylie Hafford heads to the remote Puebloan ruins of Lost Valley, Colorado, to excavate. Her first exploration of the crumbling ruins ends in a confrontation with a gorgeous, angry man who looks like a warrior from the Pueblo’s ancient past. If only Danesh weren’t so aggravating… and fascinating. Then she literally stumbles across Sean, a charming, playful tourist. His attentions feel safer, until she glimpses secrets he’d rather keep hidden.
The summer heats up as two sexy men pursue her. She finds mysteries – and surprising friendships – among the other campground residents. Could the wide-eyed woman and her silent children be in the kind of danger all too familiar to Kylie?
Mysterious lights, murmuring voices, and equipment gone missing plague her dig. A midnight encounter sends Kylie plummeting into a deep canyon. She’ll need all her strength and wits to survive. Everything becomes clear – if she wants to save the man she’s come to love and see the villains brought to justice, she must face her demons and fight.
Whispers in the Dark, romantic suspense set in the Four Corners region of the Southwest, will appeal to fans of Mary Stewart, Barbara Michaels, and Terry Odell.
“This book kept me turning pages until the end. The plot was full of twists and turns, always keeping the reader rooting for the heroine. Excellent read!” Reader Suzanne Borchers
February 4, 2014
My Top 10 Sites in the Southwest
I'm a guest at Sarah's StoryLines, with Top Ten Tuesday – Southwest Sites by Kris Bock: "I’ve lived in 10 states and one foreign country, but New Mexico is now my home. The desert Southwest inspires my work, as I bring romantic suspense to the land I love. Here are some of my favorite spots – heavy on the adventure. Hovenweep National Monument... the Chiricahuas... 6. Carlsbad Caverns... The Very Large Array... and more! http://redefiningperfect.com/2014/02/...
February 3, 2014
Romantic Suspense on Sale
My latest "Kris Bock" romantic suspense novel is on SALE this week for 99 cents (Kindle).
Counterfeits:
Painter Jenny Kinley has spent the last decade struggling in the New York art world. Her grandmother’s sudden death brings her home to New Mexico, but inheriting the children’s art camp her grandmother ran is more of a burden than a gift. How can she give up her lifelong dreams of showing her work in galleries and museums?
Rob Caruso, the camp cook and all-around handyman, would be happy to run the camp with Jenny. Dare he even dream of that, when his past holds dark secrets that he can never share? When Jenny’s father reappears after a decade-long absence, only Rob knows where he’s been and what danger he’s brought with him.
Jenny and Rob face midnight break-ins and make desperate escapes, but the biggest danger may come from the secrets that don’t want to stay buried. In the end, they must decide whether their dreams will bring them together or force them apart.
Here's the Amazon link which will take users to Amazon in their country: http://bookshow.me/B00GQOEE9M
This direct link to Amazon in the US might be faster: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00GQOEE9M
Counterfeits: Painter Jenny Kinley has spent the last decade struggling in the New York art world. Her grandmother’s sudden death brings her home to New Mexico, but inheriting the children’s art camp her grandmother ran is more of a burden than a gift. How can she give up her lifelong dreams of showing her work in galleries and museums?
Rob Caruso, the camp cook and all-around handyman, would be happy to run the camp with Jenny. Dare he even dream of that, when his past holds dark secrets that he can never share? When Jenny’s father reappears after a decade-long absence, only Rob knows where he’s been and what danger he’s brought with him.
Jenny and Rob face midnight break-ins and make desperate escapes, but the biggest danger may come from the secrets that don’t want to stay buried. In the end, they must decide whether their dreams will bring them together or force them apart.
Here's the Amazon link which will take users to Amazon in their country: http://bookshow.me/B00GQOEE9M
This direct link to Amazon in the US might be faster: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00GQOEE9M
July 21, 2013
What’s in a Name? Finding a Title
[This was first published at the Project Mayhem blog]
At the end of the school year, I visited a friend’s gifted class to talk to the kids about The Eyes of Pharaoh. One enthusiastic girl asked how I came up with my titles, because, “Titles are really hard.” Sometimes they are, sometimes they appear like magic, and sometimes Circumstances Beyond Your Control interfere.
The Well of Sacrifice, a middle grade adventure set in ninth-century Mayan Guatemala, had that title from the start. On a summer-long trip to Mexico and Central America after college, I had visited many Mayan sites – including Chichen Itza, which had a sacrificial cenote. Imagining a girl tumbling into that “well” inspired the novel. It’s a dramatic title and along with the cover art helps suggest a Mayan historical adventure. It’s nice when you find the right title at the beginning.
The Eyes of Pharaoh: A Mystery in Ancient Egypt, on the other hand, was a struggle. The working title was “Spy Dancer,” because the main character is training to be a temple dancer but winds up acting like a spy after a friend disappears. I never planned to actually use that title, but the muse was not cooperating in finding a better one.
When I finished editing the book (in other words, the last possible moment to come up with a good title before submissions), I started brainstorming title ideas. I wrote down any word or phrase associated with the novel – setting, characters, plot threads, theme. I probably had 30 or 40 words/phrases, and then I began mixing and matching.
The head of the secret police in ancient Egypt was called “The Eyes of Pharaoh” or “The Eyes and Ears of Pharaoh.” This agent is a minor character in my book, but the character’s role doesn’t really matter – the concept fits with the ideas of spying and politics. The word Pharaoh helps identify the setting, and The Eyes of Pharaoh has a nice mysterious sound. Normally you wouldn’t title a book after a minor character, but in this case I think it works, which shows the advantage of jotting down everything in the brainstorming phase.
I like the title, but there is one problem – everyone, including those who’ve read it and loved it, calls it “Eyes of the Pharaoh.” Having people get your title wrong can’t be good. Fortunately, the first four hits from a Google search on that wording still turn up the book’s page on Amazon, my website, Goodreads, and Barnes & Noble, so I guess the damage can’t be too bad.
When I started my series about a brother and sister who travel with a ghost hunter TV show, I wanted to call it Ghost Hunters, but that was already taken by a reality TV show, so I used Ghost Trackers. A few months before the first book’s release, I got an urgent e-mail from my editor. A new Ghost Trackers TV show was coming out, featuring middle school kids, no less. We needed a new title.
I brainstormed all kinds of combinations of Ghost This and Haunted That. Finally, in the kind of epiphany that makes you wonder why you didn’t see it earlier, I realized it didn’t need to be Haunted-anything – Haunted alone worked.
But that created another problem. The first book had been called The Haunted Hotel. Haunted: The Haunted Hotel sounded silly, so we needed a new title for the first book. After another exhausting round of brainstorming, I came up with The Ghost on the Stairs. (Frankly, I like Haunted: The Ghost on the Stairs a lot better than Ghost Trackers: The Haunted Hotel, so I guess I should be thankful to the TV show.)
Using a title that referred to the ghost who was featured in the book set up a pattern for the other books in the series – The Riverboat Phantom, The Knight in the Shadows (that one was my editor’s suggestion), and The Ghost Miner’s Treasure.
A title has to do a lot – intrigue, give a sense of the book, stand out from the crowd. The title may be the hardest words that a writer writes.
At the end of the school year, I visited a friend’s gifted class to talk to the kids about The Eyes of Pharaoh. One enthusiastic girl asked how I came up with my titles, because, “Titles are really hard.” Sometimes they are, sometimes they appear like magic, and sometimes Circumstances Beyond Your Control interfere.
The Well of Sacrifice, a middle grade adventure set in ninth-century Mayan Guatemala, had that title from the start. On a summer-long trip to Mexico and Central America after college, I had visited many Mayan sites – including Chichen Itza, which had a sacrificial cenote. Imagining a girl tumbling into that “well” inspired the novel. It’s a dramatic title and along with the cover art helps suggest a Mayan historical adventure. It’s nice when you find the right title at the beginning.
The Eyes of Pharaoh: A Mystery in Ancient Egypt, on the other hand, was a struggle. The working title was “Spy Dancer,” because the main character is training to be a temple dancer but winds up acting like a spy after a friend disappears. I never planned to actually use that title, but the muse was not cooperating in finding a better one.
When I finished editing the book (in other words, the last possible moment to come up with a good title before submissions), I started brainstorming title ideas. I wrote down any word or phrase associated with the novel – setting, characters, plot threads, theme. I probably had 30 or 40 words/phrases, and then I began mixing and matching.
The head of the secret police in ancient Egypt was called “The Eyes of Pharaoh” or “The Eyes and Ears of Pharaoh.” This agent is a minor character in my book, but the character’s role doesn’t really matter – the concept fits with the ideas of spying and politics. The word Pharaoh helps identify the setting, and The Eyes of Pharaoh has a nice mysterious sound. Normally you wouldn’t title a book after a minor character, but in this case I think it works, which shows the advantage of jotting down everything in the brainstorming phase.
I like the title, but there is one problem – everyone, including those who’ve read it and loved it, calls it “Eyes of the Pharaoh.” Having people get your title wrong can’t be good. Fortunately, the first four hits from a Google search on that wording still turn up the book’s page on Amazon, my website, Goodreads, and Barnes & Noble, so I guess the damage can’t be too bad.
When I started my series about a brother and sister who travel with a ghost hunter TV show, I wanted to call it Ghost Hunters, but that was already taken by a reality TV show, so I used Ghost Trackers. A few months before the first book’s release, I got an urgent e-mail from my editor. A new Ghost Trackers TV show was coming out, featuring middle school kids, no less. We needed a new title.
I brainstormed all kinds of combinations of Ghost This and Haunted That. Finally, in the kind of epiphany that makes you wonder why you didn’t see it earlier, I realized it didn’t need to be Haunted-anything – Haunted alone worked.
But that created another problem. The first book had been called The Haunted Hotel. Haunted: The Haunted Hotel sounded silly, so we needed a new title for the first book. After another exhausting round of brainstorming, I came up with The Ghost on the Stairs. (Frankly, I like Haunted: The Ghost on the Stairs a lot better than Ghost Trackers: The Haunted Hotel, so I guess I should be thankful to the TV show.)
Using a title that referred to the ghost who was featured in the book set up a pattern for the other books in the series – The Riverboat Phantom, The Knight in the Shadows (that one was my editor’s suggestion), and The Ghost Miner’s Treasure.
A title has to do a lot – intrigue, give a sense of the book, stand out from the crowd. The title may be the hardest words that a writer writes.
June 29, 2013
What We Found free for Kindle
My suspense with romantic elements is free on Kindle again this weekend.
What We Found
What We Found:
Finding a dead body changes a person.
22-year-old Audra Needham is back in her small New Mexico hometown. She just wants to fit in, work hard, and help her younger brother. Going for a walk in the woods with her former crush, Jay, seems like a harmless distraction.
Until they stumble on a body.
Jay, who has secrets of his own to protect, insists they walk away and keep quiet. But Audra can't simply forget what she's seen. The woman deserves to be found, and her story deserves to be told.
More than one person isn't happy about Audra bringing a crime to life. The dead woman was murdered, and Audra could be next on the vengeful killer's list. She’ll have to stand up for herself in order to stand up for the murder victim. It’s a risk, and so is reaching out to the mysterious young man who works with deadly birds of prey. With her 12-year-old brother determined to play detective, and romance budding in the last place she expected, Audra learns that some risks are worth taking – no matter the danger, to her body or her heart.
"Another action-packed suspense novel by Kris Bock, perhaps her best to-date. The author weaves an intriguing tale with appealing characters. Watching Audra, the main character, evolve into an emotionally-mature and independent young woman is gratifying.” Reader Ellen R.
"This book had me guessing to the end who was the murderer. Well written characters drive the story. Good romance. Exceptional and believable plot twists and turns. I loved it! I recommend this book highly. Reader Suzanne B.
This link should take people to the Amazon site in their own country: http://bookShow.me/B0094V0OD4
What We Found
What We Found:
Finding a dead body changes a person.
22-year-old Audra Needham is back in her small New Mexico hometown. She just wants to fit in, work hard, and help her younger brother. Going for a walk in the woods with her former crush, Jay, seems like a harmless distraction.
Until they stumble on a body.
Jay, who has secrets of his own to protect, insists they walk away and keep quiet. But Audra can't simply forget what she's seen. The woman deserves to be found, and her story deserves to be told.
More than one person isn't happy about Audra bringing a crime to life. The dead woman was murdered, and Audra could be next on the vengeful killer's list. She’ll have to stand up for herself in order to stand up for the murder victim. It’s a risk, and so is reaching out to the mysterious young man who works with deadly birds of prey. With her 12-year-old brother determined to play detective, and romance budding in the last place she expected, Audra learns that some risks are worth taking – no matter the danger, to her body or her heart.
"Another action-packed suspense novel by Kris Bock, perhaps her best to-date. The author weaves an intriguing tale with appealing characters. Watching Audra, the main character, evolve into an emotionally-mature and independent young woman is gratifying.” Reader Ellen R.
"This book had me guessing to the end who was the murderer. Well written characters drive the story. Good romance. Exceptional and believable plot twists and turns. I loved it! I recommend this book highly. Reader Suzanne B.
This link should take people to the Amazon site in their own country: http://bookShow.me/B0094V0OD4
June 13, 2013
Free suspense novel
I share the real story of our accidental involvement in a murder case, the experience that inspired What We Found (written as Kris Bock), in a guest post on Digital Book Today. http://digitalbooktoday.com/2013/06/1...
Plus, What We Found is FREE today and tomorrow (June 13th-14th). You can link through from the guest post, or go directly to the Amazon page: http://www.amazon.com/What-We-Found-e...
What We Found:
When Audra stumbles on a murdered woman in the woods, more than one person isn't happy about her bringing the crime to light. She’ll have to stand up for herself in order to stand up for the murder victim. It’s a risk, and so is reaching out to the mysterious young man who works with deadly birds of prey. But with danger all around, some risks are worth taking.
Her life will change forever, after what she found.
"Another action-packed suspense novel by Kris Bock, perhaps her best to-date. The author weaves an intriguing tale with appealing characters. Watching Audra, the main character, evolve into an emotionally-mature and independent young woman is gratifying.” Reader Ellen R.
"This book had me guessing to the end who was the murderer. Well written characters drive the story. Good romance. Exceptional and believable plot twists and turns. I loved it! I recommend this book highly. Reader Suzanne B.
"This is a nonstop suspense. Love the characters and how real they seem with every episode played out. This is a love story and suspense all in one." Reader Pam
Kris Bock
March 9, 2013
What Do Amazon Sales Rankings Really Mean?
I was answering a question about Amazon rankings on a listserv. Since I looked up some information, I thought I'd share it here as well. Authors can get wrapped up in their sales rankings, but how much does your Amazon sales ranking really mean?
Some books will have very low rankings but may do well in school and library sales. There may also be different rankings for the paperback and e-book versions. For example, here's what Amazon tells me:
Copies sold are for the last year to date, Feb. 21, 2012-Mar. 3, 2013, per BookScan, which is available to authors through their Author Central page. "BookScan estimates they report 75% of all retail print book sales." – this includes chain and some independent bookstores, NOT just Amazon, but does not seem to include libraries. Amazon sales rankings are current, which pays most attention to recent sales, I believe. Yes, it's comparing apples to oranges. That's my point
Milton Hershey: Young Chocolatier sold 4491 copies in the previous year and is currently ranked #5,397,877 in Books, #49,604 in Kindle Store
Jesse Owens: Young Record Breaker sold 3980 copies, ranking #2,146,498 in Books (no Kindle)
The Well of Sacrifice sold 586 copies, ranking #239,389 in Books, #320,872 in Kindle Store
What's really interesting is that Milton Hershey has the most copies sold according to BookScan, but the worst Amazon sales ranking. That suggests it sells better through non-Amazon channels. The Well of Sacrifice, on the other hand, apparently sells pretty well through Amazon.FYI, my royalty statements usually show sales of around 2000 copies per year of The Well of Sacrifice, compared to the 586 showing up through BookScan, although the dates aren't aligned to the calendar year there, and I haven't yet gotten my statement for the last half of 2012. The difference may be that this book sells well to schools and libraries.
The main take away is, don't take your sales rankings too seriously!
January 16, 2013
Like a Young Burt Reynolds: Problems with Character Description
Jodie Renner had a good post on description at Crime Fiction Collective recently. It got me thinking about something that bothers me: too much character description. Jodie's post talked about how too much character description can slow the story, especially when given in bulk for minor characters.
If the characters aren't important, something like "Juan Lopez, the youngest of the group" is enough to suggest his rough appearance. By giving more details, as a reader I feel like I'm supposed to pay attention. It pushes me out of the scene, and I might pause to study who had what color eyes/hair etc., assuming I'll want to know what they look like later. If they never appear again, or aren't important, you've wasted my time.
But there's another problem with detailed character descriptions. You're trusting your reader to have the same reaction you do, and that might not happen. This is especially dangerous if the character is supposed to be romantically appealing. I've read several romanctic heroes with a cleft chin, which is not something I find particularly attractive. Mention it once, and I can skim over it, but if a character trait is reiterated every time the character appears, it's hard to ignore.
Another problem is describing someone as looking like a celebrity. I've heard that technique described as lazy, but what I think is worse, it could have the opposite effect you intended. I recently read a book which was overall very good, but the romantic hero was described multiple times as looking like "a young Burt Reynolds." Since I don't find Burt Reynolds attractive, this came across as a negative thing. Plus, I only knew what Reynolds looked like in middle age.
You also risk the celebrity technique backfiring if the reader has no idea what that person looks like. I don't watch TV or see a lot of movies, and I don't follow celebrity gossip. There are names that I vaguely know as being popular, but I couldn't tell you what they look like. And as the years pass, some of those names will fade from popular consciousness – or worse, become associated with something negative. Imagine reading a book with a main character who has the sweet, girl next-door wholesomeness of Britney Spears. Might come across as a little dated now, huh?
For me, a brief character description works best. Let me fill in the rest with my imagination.
If the characters aren't important, something like "Juan Lopez, the youngest of the group" is enough to suggest his rough appearance. By giving more details, as a reader I feel like I'm supposed to pay attention. It pushes me out of the scene, and I might pause to study who had what color eyes/hair etc., assuming I'll want to know what they look like later. If they never appear again, or aren't important, you've wasted my time.
But there's another problem with detailed character descriptions. You're trusting your reader to have the same reaction you do, and that might not happen. This is especially dangerous if the character is supposed to be romantically appealing. I've read several romanctic heroes with a cleft chin, which is not something I find particularly attractive. Mention it once, and I can skim over it, but if a character trait is reiterated every time the character appears, it's hard to ignore.
Another problem is describing someone as looking like a celebrity. I've heard that technique described as lazy, but what I think is worse, it could have the opposite effect you intended. I recently read a book which was overall very good, but the romantic hero was described multiple times as looking like "a young Burt Reynolds." Since I don't find Burt Reynolds attractive, this came across as a negative thing. Plus, I only knew what Reynolds looked like in middle age.
You also risk the celebrity technique backfiring if the reader has no idea what that person looks like. I don't watch TV or see a lot of movies, and I don't follow celebrity gossip. There are names that I vaguely know as being popular, but I couldn't tell you what they look like. And as the years pass, some of those names will fade from popular consciousness – or worse, become associated with something negative. Imagine reading a book with a main character who has the sweet, girl next-door wholesomeness of Britney Spears. Might come across as a little dated now, huh?
For me, a brief character description works best. Let me fill in the rest with my imagination.
January 3, 2013
New Year's Resolutions and Writing Goals
I have mixed feelings about New Year's resolutions. On the one hand, January 1 is just another day of the year, and it seems like most people set up vague and overly-ambitious resolutions that they quickly drop. On the other hand, I am in favor of regularly reviewing writing and life goals. That's the only way to clearly see what path you are on and figure out how to get where you want to go. And the beginning of the new year is as good as any time to do that!
I'll be leading the January SCBWI schmooze in Albuquerque, where we'll continue a series on the writing life. This time, we'll be discussing our goals and how to make them happen. In preparation, I've been tracking other blog posts on goals and resolutions. There's lots of great advice here.
Redefine Success, from Luke Reynolds (highly recommended).
Set Goals NOW for 2013, from Writers First Aid by Kristi Holl.
How's the Work Going? It All Depends: Focus on this moment, this day, this year, also from Writers First Aid by Kristi Holl.
Make Your Own Luck, by Angela Ackerman: What can you do to give yourself the best chance of success?
Margaret Peterson Haddix on how she has defined success. (Hear how other authors define success with Cynsations Career Builder series.)
Writing and Life Balance (Discipline, Setting Priorities, and Life and Volunteer Duties), by Susan Uhlig.
Writing In No Time, from this blog.
Debut Author vs. Career Author (although this one is targeting published authors, much of the planning and organizational advice should be useful to pre-published authors as well).
In personal news, I've been invited to join the Project Mayhem group blog. Learn about the new members here. I'm planning to stop posting to this blog (though I'll leave it up so you can visit the archives) sometime in the near future, and move my activity to Project Mayhem. I'll still be talking about the craft and business of writing, along with some other book topics. I'm looking forward to a new venue, a lighter schedule (a couple of posts per month from me), and the chance for a little more diversity in my topics. Please consider following Project Mayhem for news and thoughts from "The Manic Minds of Middle Grade Writers."
I'll be leading the January SCBWI schmooze in Albuquerque, where we'll continue a series on the writing life. This time, we'll be discussing our goals and how to make them happen. In preparation, I've been tracking other blog posts on goals and resolutions. There's lots of great advice here.
Redefine Success, from Luke Reynolds (highly recommended).
Set Goals NOW for 2013, from Writers First Aid by Kristi Holl.
How's the Work Going? It All Depends: Focus on this moment, this day, this year, also from Writers First Aid by Kristi Holl.
Make Your Own Luck, by Angela Ackerman: What can you do to give yourself the best chance of success?
Margaret Peterson Haddix on how she has defined success. (Hear how other authors define success with Cynsations Career Builder series.)
Writing and Life Balance (Discipline, Setting Priorities, and Life and Volunteer Duties), by Susan Uhlig.
Writing In No Time, from this blog.
Debut Author vs. Career Author (although this one is targeting published authors, much of the planning and organizational advice should be useful to pre-published authors as well).
In personal news, I've been invited to join the Project Mayhem group blog. Learn about the new members here. I'm planning to stop posting to this blog (though I'll leave it up so you can visit the archives) sometime in the near future, and move my activity to Project Mayhem. I'll still be talking about the craft and business of writing, along with some other book topics. I'm looking forward to a new venue, a lighter schedule (a couple of posts per month from me), and the chance for a little more diversity in my topics. Please consider following Project Mayhem for news and thoughts from "The Manic Minds of Middle Grade Writers."
December 14, 2012
Story Plans: What's Your Characters Goal?
My brother, script writer Doug Eboch, had a recent blog post titled Not According to Plan. In it he states, “Over the last month I’ve read several scripts that suffered from lethargy and/or a feeling they were too episodic. The underlying cause was that the main characters were failing to make plans. They were reactive to events rather than driving the story. Giving the character plans keeps them active and gives the story forward momentum.”
In recent months, I’ve critiqued several manuscripts that were generally very strong. However, they suffered from the same problem. Here are couple of excerpts from the critiques (with some details hidden for privacy).
What’s lacking, I think, is clarity in MC’s Goals/Motivation and the Stakes.
Try to establish what MC wants up front, and keep reminding us of that or let us know how her goals change. For example, as she’s entering town, she may hope to find out more about her past. Once she knows about X, she wants to do Y. All of this ties into a longer, deep-seated goal of finding her place in the world. She may not be able to express that clearly, but we’ll see it in her short-term goals….
Her goals and motivations are also tied into the stakes. It’s important to have clear and high stakes – why her goals are important, and what happens if she fails. For example, if she fails to convince her mother to stay, she loses the chance to ever truly find a home with family who love and accept her.
She could even have both fears and hopes, sometimes seeing the positive and sometimes the negative. But showing us why this is so important to her will expand your theme and increase the stakes (what she has to gain or lose if she succeeds or fails).
And another:
One thing that may help you with your scenes is to think about scene goals. In every scene, your characters should have specific goals. These are likely immediate, short-term goals that lead to a larger story goal. For example, MC and MC2 want to get X, so they can do X. Focus on that goal, and the limited time they have, in each scene. If your main characters don’t have a goal – if they are just watching Comic Relief’s antics – it doesn’t move the story forward.
There’s an extra benefit to focusing on your character’s goals:
I think if you focus more on goals and stakes, you’ll also naturally develop your plot some. At times MC seems too passive, simply hoping things will or won’t happen and waiting for them. But if she has a strong, clear goal, you’ll see ways to increase the tension. (I went into more detail on this in my post on Happy Endings.)
And don’t forget –
We should also see MC actively pursuing her goals. If she doesn’t want to leave, she shouldn’t just silently hope for that. She should be trying to get what she wants.
For more on cause/effect and clarifying goals, see the first couple of posts under the "pacing" label.
Here are more posts on conflict, goals and motivation:
Ask an Editor with Theresa Stevens: A first-page critique discussing goal, motivation, and conflict.
Channeling The Reader’s Brain: What We Expect of Every Story, by Lisa Cron on Janice Hardy’s blog: The protagonist should want something, fear something, struggle, and change.
Goal - Conflict - Stakes. Why You Need All Three, by Janice Hardy (you also might do a search on “goals” on Janice Hardy’s blog, as she has a lot on the subject).
The Two Things Every Novel Needs—Conflict and Suspense, by James Scott Bell on Crime Fiction Collective. Worrying Isn’t Action by Mary Kole from Kidlit.com.
And please do see my brother’s full blog post, Not According to Plan.
So, what’s your goal now?
