Nancy Wilson's Blog, page 6

Modesty

Sometimes I really hate reading modesty blog posts and the inevitable ensuing  fracas. No, most times I really hate reading them – and it frequently doesn’t matter which side of the issue is being argued. No matter how kind or how rude the original post, no matter if it is an urge to cover up more or loosen up more, everyone seems to take sides, get cranky, feel judged or feel judgey . . . all in all, a real win for Christian charity in all directions.

So with that said, here I go with a modesty blog post. This isn’t about specifics though, so don’t panic – this is just a general observation. Of late there seems to be a lot of discussion amongst the womenfolk pointing out that the men are responsible for their own hearts and their own lust problems. The burden (it is argued) is on the men to keep their hearts pure, not on the women to keep them from ever being tempted.

Here is how it generally seems to break out. Advocates of traditional modesty (the ones who would want to stay away from bikinis etc.) have sometimes made their argument this way: Women! Be modest or else you will cause all the men around you to fall into the grip of lust! Stop forcing my husband and my sons to stumble! Get behind me Satan!

Then there are the women with looser standards of modesty (the ones who would tend to be on board with bikinis) who point out that men can have a lust problem even if all of the women are wearing burkas and snowpants . . . and the issue isn’t the women’s skin, it’s the mens’ hearts. Therefore, it is argued, dress however you please, keep your own heart pure, and God will be happy with you.

(Obviously I’m painting with broad strokes here – there are plenty of nuances and gradations and varying perspectives . . . but let’s just keep it simple for the moment, and for the purposes of argument divide the opinions into the above two camps.)

Here’s my trouble. I would usually tend to agree with the first group on the practical application – but I think they have often done a really lousy job in arguing for it, and it frequently seems to be motivated by fear rather than obedience. Fear of other, more attractive women, fear that their husbands will be stumbled, fear that their sons will be led astray, often just fear of sexuality in general. But the very same passage which commands “modesty” also commands that women “not be afraid with any terror.” What good is it to be all buttoned up and correct on the outside but disobedient on the inside?

And frankly, the second group is dead right that the men are responsible for their own hearts. If they have a lust problem, that’s their problem and they can’t blame others for it. They have a responsibility to be pure before God regardless of what the women are wearing. God has commanded them not to lust, therefore they need to not.

But what’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. If the men are responsible to obey God regardless of the current fashions which surround them, the same goes for the women. We have to obey God regardless of the current fashions which surround us. God has commanded us to be outwardly as well as inwardly modest . . . and he actually never said that it’s because of the men. Frankly, that may not be the point at all – think of that very odd verse which tells us to wear our hair a certain way “because of the angels.” We may not actually be as in-the-know as we think we are regarding God’s greater purposes. God never gave us a “here’s why” argument on the modesty question – he just gave us a command. We don’t need to be modest “so that the men won’t sin” – we need to be modest so that WE’RE not in sin. We don’t need to be modest to please the Christian men (or women), we need to be modest to please God.

I think that by filling in the “here’s why,” the modesty advocates have really clouded the issue. Sure, there’s a side benefit to a community of modest women, and that’s the fact that the men in that community who are actively pursuing godliness will have an easier time of it than they would if they were to find themselves on an Italian beach. But by making that the main issue, modesty advocates have really made the whole topic very lopsided. Imagine if one of the Israelites in the time of Moses made a really big deal about keeping all the holiness codes “because of the health benefits.” There actually are a number of health benefits,  but of course God was making a much bigger point than that. It’s kinda neat to notice some of the healthy side effects of the Old Testament laws . . . but if you were to make that the main point it would really mean that you had actually missed the whole point. On the other hand, if yet another (more enlightened) Israelite was to take issue with the first one, and claim that the health benefits weren’t really all that, and you can be perfectly healthy while living like a Philistine and therefore we shouldn’t bother with the commandments at all . . . this person would also have missed the bigger point.

And I think the same thing is true with the modesty topic. Making life easier for the Christian men is a benefit – but a minor one at best. Because to be honest, if I see a woman who is clearly, unarguably, beyond any shadows of doubts, adulteress-in-Proverbs level immodest . . . the heart I would be the most concerned about in that situation would be hers, not the men who chanced to see her. They may fall into sin, but she definitely has.

So I think that as we pursue modesty, the biggest question should be whether God is pleased with our outfit, not whether we will cause anyone to stumble, or whose fault it will be if they do. The question is whether or not we are being faithful with what God has asked of us.

Life-cycle of a lantern

Here’s a little tale of moral uplift for you. I shall start by saying that the above pic is from my booth at market years ago when my first fabric collection debuted. I had designed the lanterns as a way of showcasing the fabric, but also because the company I was designing for wanted me to market some sewing patterns as well. So I made up a little sewing pattern and I hung the sample lanterns in  my booth.

Fast forward. Along with a number of other random props from the booth, the lanterns ended up in my attic. And you know how attics are. They accumulate sedimentary layers of random, cast-off possessions that you don’t want to look at anymore but for some all-mysterious reason you don’t just burn down or throw away.

By way of context, this is a shot of the “door” to my attic:

Do not be deceived by the full flight of stairs leading up to it – you have to open a hatch in the ceiling and crawl into the attic on your hands and knees, then squiggle in under the rafters before you reach a section of the room where you can stand up. One clear patch of bare boards in the middle of the room is surrounded by a sea of sprayed-in insulation and a general sense of doom.

Over the last few years, the once-tidy heap of things on that square patch of boards has gotten a bit out of control. There are a number of bins of books, old tax returns, left-over rolls of fabric from my clothing line, doll clothes, boxes of photos, and a giant upholstered clock.

I fully admit the strangeness of the clock. It, too, was a prop in that booth. It, too, now graces my attic and contributes its mite to the current seven-layer-dip of depravity up there.

The whole thing started out as a controlled situation, but the main trouble lies in the fact that sometimes you have to go up and have a little rummage for something. And when that happens, you rearrange and shove things around and the piles get more precarious . . . and you’re not in the mood to be careful because you’re in an extremely hot (or extremely cold) room full of spray insulation which is now sticking to your shins from when you first crawled in, and you can’t stand up properly and you pretty much hate life. You make rash decisions about what should be placed where.

Times a billion when the kids go up to look for something.

Anyway, and I promise this is still the same blog post, I now have a daughter in drivers-ed. For reals. This one:

That pic of Jemima may possibly be a tiny bit outdated. (On the other hand, I love the complete thuggery of my children in this shot. Totally filthy and dishevelled, and I especially love Judah’s headgear.)

But back to the drivers-ed. In order to obtain a permit, we have to show up to the DMV with her birth certificate. And after a few half-hearted attempts at poking around looking in file cabinets for it earlier in the week, I finally had to face facts today and confront the obvious. The durn thing is probably up in the attic. Assessing the problem logically, I knew that since Knox has been driving legally around the town for a couple of years, I had to have found the file of birth certificates back when we got him his permit. So as far as the sedimentary layers goes, the box should have been reasonably accessible.

However. I had reckoned without my children. For who knows how long, they have been dutifully cleaning their rooms and putting extra what-not into the attic since last I poked my nose up there. This meant the pile was not a familiar pile, and I had to climb literally over a mountain topped by a box fan before I was all the way inside. I squatted on top of a roll of fabric with my head bonking a rafter and prodded at piles in a listless way, thinking dark thoughts.

Nothing even remotely resembling a birth certificate was anywhere to be seen, but I spied a squashed and mal-treated lantern sticking out from under a box of books.

I fished it out, not sad about the lantern because I didn’t particularly want it, but merely feeling that the attic has reached a level of devastation and squalor that is downright unrighteous.

Little did I know.

As I picked it up to move it out of the way so that I could try and wiggle further forward, something caught my eye.

Yep.

Yep.

I can’t even begin to explain the tragic tale that led up to this being the final chapter. When the curtain fell on this bird, he was inside a squashed lantern in my attic and that’s all I can tell you. But the excitement and thrill had definitely gone out of the bare-footed, birth-certificate search party. I managed to dispose of the bird by hollering at my kids until they came up and I handed out the little fabric sarcophagus and made them chuck the whole thing into the alley garbage.

On the upside, as I executed a backwards, hunkering crawl over a box fan and out the door to the stairs, I happened to notice that in the very top of the box nearest the attic entrance was the file of birth certificates and social security cards. I could have strolled up there and plucked it out without even going in. Which I would have much preferred.

Showers of Blessings

“So will I seek out my sheep, and will deliver them out of all places where they have been scattered in the cloudy and dark day” (Ezekiel 34:12).

“I will feed them in a good pasture, and upon the high mountains of Israel shall their fold be: there shall they lie in a good fold, and in a fat pasture shall they feed upon the mountains of Israel” (Ezek. 34:14).

Reading this wonderful passage in Ezekiel, it struck me how often we feel scattered in the cloudy and dark day. We let our circumstances, our worries, our needs and wants, all push us around until we feel scattered and disoriented. And yet….God seeks us out. He finds us in the dark day, huddled in some mindset of fearfulness, and He delivers us. Look where He takes us! He puts us in a fat, good pasture on the mountaintop. Just imagine the lush green grass up there. The fresh air, the bright sun, the clear view. Out of the muddle into clarity once again.

Now keep that image in your mind as we look at this: “If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God” (Col. 3:1-2). Or in Philippians 4:8, “Whatsoever things are true…honest…just…pure…lovely…of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

If our Good Shepherd has translated us to a fat, good fold, then it makes no sense for us to fill our minds with the dark and cloudy day that we’ve left behind. He wants us to set our minds in the same place that we are in Christ. He wants us to meditate on the good pasture we are in.

“And I will make them and the places round about my hill a blessing; and I will cause the shower to come down in his season; there shall be showers of blessing” (Ezek. 34:26).

When we feel scattered, we must remember that we have a shepherd. He searched for us and He found us. He has provided for us. It is our duty to rest in Him, thankful that we are found in Him, grateful for the green pastures. And when your mind wanders down to “things on earth,” lift it up and meditate on the good pasture on the Lord’s mountaintop. Look for the showers of blessings that He has promised.

The Answer is No!

I’m very excited to plug this book: Does Christianity Squash Women? by Rebecca Jones. Given the times we live in, it’s a very relevant question, and we women need to be well versed in what the Bible teaches about all aspects of womanhood. The tempter still asks, “Did God really say….?” as he attacks the calling of women on all fronts. This book is a tremendous resource and an encouraging overview of God’s kindness to women in the Old Testament and in the New. If you ‘re looking for a book to study in a group setting, you’ll find each chapter has discussion questions included. And the good news is, you can get a copy at Canon Press.

“Christianity does not squash women. It honors them in their femaleness and hands them the great privilege of becoming a part of God’s family through the Savior whom they bring into the world.”

“They are, on the contrary, given a place of high honor in the Bible, not only in the New Testament but also in the Old Testament.“

Thanks for Coming!

To celebrate the arrival of our new blog look, I came down with a bug that kept me in bed all week. But I now I peek out from under the covers to say hello and especially to extend a belated thank you to all of you who came to the Grace Agenda conference. We enjoyed getting to visit with old friends and meet many who were new to us. And of course we couldn’t do it at all without the many friends from our church community here who attend, help, and encourage us so much. Each year we are blessed and surprised to see how many come from across the country to obscure little  Moscow for our conference. So thank you!

If you didn’t make it this year, and you’d like to listen to the audio tapes of the Grace Agenda conference, the church leaders’ seminar, or the Femina Girls’ talks, you can now find them all for free on the Christ Church website.

 

He Is Risen!

The angels met the women very early on that first resurrection morning at the tomb, and they said, “Why do you seek the living among the dead? He is not here, but is risen! Remember how He spoke to you when He was still in Galilee, saying ‘The Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, and be crucified, and the third day rise again.’ And they remembered His words” (Luke 24:5-8).

What a strange kind of greeting: “Why do you seek the living among the dead?” And what a great question! We might ask ourselves such a question today: Why are we looking for Jesus in the wrong place? And next the angels say, “Remember?” How often we forget what He has told us!

One of the common ways we look for Jesus in the wrong place is by looking for Him in our feelings. Sometimes I hear women say, “I just don’t feel like Jesus is close.” But He never told us to look for Him in our feelings. He didn’t say to meet Him at the tomb, He said to meet Him in Galilee. If we think we must look for Him in our feelings, we can try to “do” certain things that will generate a spiritual feeling to reassure ourselves. We have not remembered what He told us.

He has told us where to find Him. Remember? He is Risen! We are raised with Him, and He is above, sitting at the right hand of God (Col. 3:1). This is why we “seek those things which are above, where Christ is.” Jesus dwells in us through His word (Col. 3:16) and helps us remember all He has told us. So we “eagerly wait for the Savior” (Phil. 3:20) and look for Him in the Word, in the Supper, and in the weekly celebration of His triumph over the grave. And when we look for Him there, we are obeying what He told us to do.

Book Plug for Radiant

Radiant
Women in Church History

Radiant records the triumph of the gospel as faithful women through the ages have faced kings and governors, soldiers and wild beasts, Japanese guards and Muslim raiders, fire, exile, the chopping block, Nazis, cannibals, riots and more.  From South America to Europe, from China to Africa to the Wild West, in prisons and in throne rooms, the Christian heroines of Radiant have left a stunning legacy.

 

“Through these robust and hearty profiles Richard Hannula brings to life forty-six women of faith who helped shape church history. His interest is authentic, his research is solid, and his admiration is genuine.”

–Joel Belz, founder of World Magazine

“Women have made a vital contribution to the growth and progress of the Christian Church from the beginning. Hannula recognizes and celebrates that contribution and rallies the rising generation of Christian women to lives of action, vitality and faithfulness. A great read!”

–Gwen Westerlund, Christian counselor and co-author of Titus 2 Teams: A Mentoring Program for Women

“From the time of Christ’s ministry on earth until the present day, faithful women have left us a legacy of courage, sacrifice, and service in the midst of trials. In this new collection of stories, Richard Hannula has given us a rich resource of encouragement and inspiration.”

–Nancy Wilson, author of True Companion and Praise Her in the Gates

SPECIAL OFFER
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Roles in the Church

Given the obvious interest in the topic of women teaching women (as seen in the comments of the last post on this topic), I thought I would put up a link to this little booklet that Athanasius Press published in 2010. It’s “a brief survey of the roles of men and women in the church.” With the world leading the charge to put women into every role assigned to men, it’s important we don’t just drift along assuming we know what we think. That’s why I have appreciated so many of the good comments and questions that have come in. It’s a good exercise to have to defend your position, refine your position, and be clear about what the Bible says.

 

 

Kind Husband Article

My husband has a great article up at Desiring God, and I thought you might like to read it!

Strong Testimony, Weak Argument

When I was a little girl my Dad’s office was in the back room of Crossroads Bookstore, which was run by my Grandpa. My Grandpa was and is an avid evangelist, the bookstore was full of christian books, my Dad was a pastor, and I was generally surrounded on all sides by stories of faith and conversions. Back in those days there was also a series of books for kids that I think I read at home but also in the bookstore. They were illustrated in very pastel colors and always seemed a little sad somehow. If my memory serves me correctly, I think they heavily featured weeping willows and kids feeling lonely or angry or hurt somehow.

Well in one of these books I got to the last page and it was a conversion moment of sorts. I cannot remember the specifics, but I think it was something about Jesus being a true friend to me when I am lonely, so I will stay with him forever. I remember sitting there staring at it and thinking back to other books and testimonies I had heard. There was the one about some poor kid that was with the wise men and had no gift so he gave his heart. Then there were people I had heard who were afraid of death, who were sick of sin, who were sad, or whatever. I myself prayed officially because I was afraid of the dark – where does that fit in? Well I gathered myself up in what were probably my high-watered corduroy pants and went to find Dad. Just what does this all mean? What is the real way to become a Christian? Which one of these things is right?!

Of course what he explained to me is that they can all be true. The Holy Spirit meets people in all different places, and while the act of conversion is the same, what gets people there can all be different. It is one truth, but it is one truth that is so big that you can come at it from all kinds of sides. And this is the kind of variety that should delight believers. We should love to hear stories of God’s work in all different places, even when the experience that is being shared with us is quite different than our own. It shows us a little bit of our own smallness, and a little bit of His own greatness.

Now I bring all this up as a strange preface, but I really think it is relevant. It’s about yoga pants. And bikinis. And mini skirts. And whatever else. I confess fully that I have not read all the articles. I have only seen them blow by on Facebook and the inter webs. I have seen enough of this kind of thing to know how it goes. Modesty discussions seem to be second to none for cooking up a holy brew-ha-ha. I am not a stranger to that. Say something about tights as pants, bikinis as swimwear, how girls shouldn’t look in selfies, or really any other thing that pertains to modesty and you will almost certainly have a scene on your doorstep. Feelings will be hurt, heads will roll. People will call you a hypocrite and a ninny because you have a photo of your sons without shirts on. Many christian women are ready to throw out the whole topic because it is so divisive.

So this is what I want to talk about. When women share stories about modesty (such as why I stopped wearing yoga pants), I think there is a little confusion happening. What should be heard as strong testimony is instead picked apart as a weak argument. It is absolutely true that young women sometimes dress in a way that is calculated to stumble the young men. You know how I know this? I know those women! Women who grew older, and who were convicted of this sin by a loving Father who revealed it to them. Women who go on later to repeat what they learned to young women and get an eye roll and a lot of spite for it. “How dare she say that I am doing that? Who does she think she is?!”

I also know women who were convicted of their own immodesty when someone busted out the old “think of what you want your husband to see of other women….” See what I mean? That is a terrible argument. But it is a strong testimony. God revealed to this woman that her own behavior was foolish and inconsistent and unkind. And because she loved the Lord, she heard it. This is the kind of thing that should delight believers, even when the language used is cheesy, or maybe silly, or even embarrassing. God is a lot bigger than our categories.

I know women who were deeply convicted of their own lack of love for the brothers when they saw honestly their own heart in how they were dressing, and what they were looking for. Maybe they suddenly saw that they didn’t care if it was sinful or if it caused him to sin. Sin is interesting! And fun! And this kind of attention feels good! And God in his kindness let them see their behavior unfiltered. He let them see themselves as they were, and He led them out of that sin. And yet when they try to speak of it to others, the reception will not be one of grace. It will be defensive, and angry. How dare you imply that my sons aren’t responsible for their own thoughts?! How dare you act like you have anything at all to do with the thought life of the brothers?!

So since Spring is just around the corner, and we are probably just all getting warmed up for the next big warm weather modesty fight, I’d like to suggest that we listen to each other as though we are listening to testimony. Listen and be blessed by the fact that the Holy Spirit meets us all where we are. Be blessed that your sister in Christ is changing because of the work of the Spirit in her life. And when we lay down the defensive anger, we may find that He works in us through the stories of others. That His kindness to us is so great that we can learn from one another, and what convicted a sister in Christ may convict us too.

When people share their testimonies, you don’t have to agree with every point to be blessed by it. You can see that God is so much bigger than our preferred wording choices, or catch phrases. And so that is my hope for us as christian women talking about modesty. That we would listen to each other’s stories with the kind hearts of people listening to a strong testimony, and not with the attitude of an opponent listening to a weak argument. Because I do believe that most of these inflammatory articles are exactly that – a testimony. A testimony to the work of a living God in the life of one of His daughters. And who among us would ever want to belittle that? Praise the Lord that He is a lot bigger than all of us!