Lazer Brody's Blog, page 351

Show me the truth!

When a person really desires truth, he or she finds it, as you'll see in the following letter:

Dear Rabbi Lazer,

Until six months ago, I was a member of a Protestant church here in Tennessee. Our pastor, a highly respected individual with a PhD in Divinity, wrote a hand book describing the main doctrines of the church, because so many people in the congregation were confused about what they were supposed to believe in. Shortly after I read about how exactly I'm supposed to believe, I had a business appointment with a colleague in Alabama. I drove to Montgomery, arrived at his office, and saw this eye-catching book on his desk. The name of the book was "Garden of Emuna". By the way, my colleague is not Jewish; he's a Noahide. I had never heard the term Noahide before, and he explained to me that these are non-Jews that simply believe in the Jewish concept of the One God, with no additions or subtractions. My colleague (JP, who you know well) is no fool and certainly not the type for fad religion.

Anyway, I ordered a copy of the book for myself, which by miracle arrived within 96 hours to my home. I read it three times. The truth simply felt like a glove that fit. But, years of conditioning left me with doubts. I took the book's advice and went down to the river for secluded personal prayer. I held the pastor's manual in one hand, and the Garden of Emuna in the other hand. I cried, "Dear Lord, please show me the truth!" I thought that an hour went by, but by the time I finished praying, 3 hours went by. I never felt so exhilerated in my life. Such simplicity - The Lord, emuna, and me. All the pieces of the vast puzzle just came into place in my mind. I didn't have any lightning-struck revelation, but I walked away knowing the truth. I threw the pastor's hand book in the river. Then, I immersed myself in the river and declared myself in my heart a pure believer of God, nothing more and nothing less.

Gradually, the near-disappointments set in. I was ostracized by my old friends, yet no local Orthodox rabbis were interested in talking to me. I tried my luck and started writing you, never dreaming I'd get an answer. You really surprised me with your warm and speedy reply.

I owe you a big note of thanks, Rabbi, for making yourself available to a non-Jew like me. Rebbe Nachman of Breslov and his modern-day disciples like you are truly the light unto the nations. Thanks from the bottom of my heart. JT, Nashville

JT's letter shows just how hungry people are for the real deal in spirituality. People get ready, 'cause the train's a-comin'!

Child Abuse: The Worst Sin

"Ricki" from New England has been corresponding with me for over two years now. She's a very talented Baalas Teshuva, attractive, smart as a whip, and her potato kugel is just as mean as her tennis backhand. She could easily be Miss Jewish America, but she's no longer a Miss since her wedding three years ago. She has one other problem - her heart is deeply scarred from a nightmare childhood with an abusive father. We can't even write about 10% of what Ricki went through with her father.

Ricki's first year of marriage was stormy to say the least. But, since she's been in contact with me, we've been trying to heal those scars with emuna. Ricki no longer takes tranquilizers or sees an analyst. Her courage and willpower are deserving of praise. She consented that I share her latest letter to me with you:

Rabbi, I just finished listening to some of your soothing CDs while preparing Shabbos dinner. The good news is that my husband was amazing tonight and helped around the house, spent 30 minutes with me over dinner, and cleaned up after the cooking with a smile and amazing attitude.

I would like to comment on 2 of them/get feedback quickly, if you don't mind (I'm crying as I write this):

Family Connection: THANK YOU for being totally forthright about the importance about getting away from abuse! Time and again I hear stories of Rabbis trying to keep a wife with an abusive husband, or children told they need to continue to honor him and live with him. It doesn't surprise me, but thank you for taking a stand! People don't seem to understand that no connection is better than abuse – "family first" can't be husband over safety of others.  Seeing an abusive family member isn't worth "having contact" because it's too destructive.  I wish someone had told my mom, and I wish my step-mom would listen – Get away, stay away, and keep your kids away! Don't think he won't do it to them because they're his kids! HE WILL!!!

In terms of your comment about tearing down kids, that they're "like living dead" – Rabbi, this is a sore spot for me. Those are EXACTLY the terms I use to explain how I feel. I feel like my main goal right now is to attempt to come back to life because inside. So much is dead having been the victim of parental abuse, there is such thick heaviness around my heart. I'm so limited in my abilities due to the abuse I suffered…and it feels so alienating, because most people don't know how to deal with a walking dead person. Sometimes I just get this overwhelming sense of – "you just don't get it. You think I'm alive! Can't you see that I'm really dead?" For the most part, they don't really want to know. Too scary and tears down their little gingerbread house. Even my husband has a hard time understanding, especially with my issues, and mind you he tries really hard. I wish it could all just feel normal and painless. I wish I could feel anything besides pain.

Anyone who says that murder is the worst sin in the world is a liar.  Child abuse is, especially severe physical and sexual abuse. At least with murder the person is dead and doesn't have to suffer such excruciating pain for their entire life. The child doesn't even get to know what life is before it's taken from him/her, and then has to fake it and act like they're alive in a world that doesn't want to know the truth and doesn't want to be reminded of it. I'm trapped in a body that is constantly reliving my death. I must be dead because this is certainly hell.

Which leads me to Hashem Loves Me – what an amazing CD, I think your best ever. SO inspiring and moving. Your explanation of Psalm 3 was unbelievable, and by the end of the CD I was sitting on the floor crying like a baby because someone loves me! It seems so silly in writing but honest I never really believed it until just now. It's hard to believe but deep inside I don't believe I'm lovable. I was told in no uncertain terms as a child, over and over again, that I was garbage, that I belonged in the garbage, that I was a monster and horrible words I won't repeat.  You mean I don't have to be the biggest tzedakis on earth in order to deserve love? I can be imperfect and that's OK, just keep trying and do your best and that's enough? Making a mistake doesn't prove that I really am a piece of sht? I don't have to beat myself into perfection? I'm still bawling.

Thank you. Good Shabbos.  Sorry if this was a little heavy but those CDs opened up so much… Thank you for being there... Ricki

The joy of holiness, and the holiness of joy

Chaim Dovid Saracik, famous for his niggun "Yamamai", in musical personal prayer in the hills of Jerusalem

Rebbe Nachman of Breslev teaches that music originates from the upper portals of Heaven. He also teaches that one can't attain true joy in life without holiness. Joy is holiness and holiness is joy. In that music has such a lofty source, it has the power of elevating a person to phenominal spiritual heights, especially music played by a joyful and upright musician. Music, joy, and holiness together create an upward spiritual spiral that is capable of uplifting a person from depression and despair, especially when reinforced with extensive personal prayer.

I often incorporate music into my personal prayers. Oftentimes, when I'm at a loss for words, I sing to Hashem or hum a niggun, a melody. My favorite melodies come from fellow Breslevers such as Yisrael Dagan, Guy Tzvi Mintz, Menachem Herman, Yosef Kardoner, or Avraham Abutbul. Still, one of the melodies in the Brody Hitbodedut Top Ten is undoubtedly my dear friend Chaim Dovid's niggun, know popularly as "Yam-a-mai". Chaim Dovid's phenominal humility results from his holiness and joy, both of which are so very apparent in "Yam-a-mai", as you can see right here:

Have a great Shabbat!!

The Guide to Successful Living

Our very special friends at Torahanytime.com invite you to see the video of our lecture in Queens 2 nights ago, Guide to Successful Living. Enjoy these 67 minutes, which will change your life for the better.

No Need to Worry

Nothing in the world cures worry, stress, anxiety, sadness, and depression like emuna.

Shabbaton in Far Rockaway

 

Hashem Listens

The Torah tells about a poor person that needs an urgent loan. The lender – rightfully so – asks the poor person for collateral. The poor person has nothing to offer but the shirt on his back. The lender asks, "Do you sleep in that shirt?" The poor person says no. The lender says, "Fine - give me your night garment as collateral" (See Shemot, chapter. 22).

The Torah allows the lender to take the night garment (a men's version of a nightgown) as collateral, but then commands the lender to return the nightgown to the poor person every day at sundown, so that the poor person will have something to sleep in. The poor person in turn must return the collateral to the lender the next morning at dawn with no excuses and no delay.

The Torah tells the lender, "Fine; you want to demand collateral from this poor guy? No problem; you are allowed to take his one and only possession – his night clothing." At this point, Hashem adds a stiff warning: "Return it [the night garment] to him [the poor person] every evening, because if you don't, and the poor person cries out to me in desperation, I will listen, for I am compassionate" (Shemot 22:26).

The Torah is revealing to us one of the most powerful foundations in emuna – the pure and complete faith in Hashem. Whenever a person cries out to Hashem from the bottom of his or her broken heart, Hashem listens. Always!

This is not a messenger speaking, not an angel or a prophet. Hashem himself promises: "I will listen, for I am compassionate."

If you don't think that Hashem listens to you, it's because you don't speak to Him. Start talking to Him, and wait and see the response you get...

Life After the Web

Dear Rabbi Brody,

I'm 19, and torn between two worlds. On one hand, I want to be a Baal Tshuva - I love Lazer Beams, but I get inspired and then end up surfing over to one of my favorite porno sites, and then (...severely edited - LB) ... I end my day going to sleep super depressed and disappointed in myself. Why can't I just be courageous enough to start putting on tefillin and keeping Shabbos? Rabbi Brody, can you help me out? Can you explain to me what's happening to me? I'd be forever grateful. Thank you, Steven from California

Dear Steven,

Every soul requires a heavy dose of love. Jewish souls especially require a refined, ultra-high spiritual octane form of love that Kabbala terms Chessed d'Kedusha, or lovingkindness from the realm of holiness. This love is achieved by dedication in performing a mitzva, by prayer with Kavanna (focused intent), by Torah learning, and by doing charitable deeds for one's fellow human. Also, this love is attained through a gratifying marital union.

The laws of the spiritual realm are similar to those of the material realm. Just as there is no void in matter, there is no void in spirituality. When a person fails to provide his or her soul with Chessed d'Kedusha, then the sphere of Chessed d'Sitra Achra, or Impure (unholy) lovingkindness, fills the void. Promiscuity and pornography are prime sources of Chessed d'Sitra Achra, all dangerous and addicitive, the type of chocolate-covered poison that destroys one's soul, Heaven forbid.

Simply speaking, Steve, we need to help you replace the detrimental elements that have pervaded your soul with the beneficial. Here's a gameplan that I'd recommend for you:

1) Torah - in LA, there are plenty of Torah lessons. Start attending them. Also, begin learning as much of Rebbe Nachman's books as possible - they're an amazing balm for an aching soul.

2) Immerse yourself in a mikva as much as possible.

3) Say psalms 16, 32, 41, 42, 59, 77, 90, 105, 137, and 150 every day - this is called the "Tikkun HaKlali", a general all-purpose spiritual medication for a soul that's been infected by Chessed d'Sitra Achra.

4) Talk to Hashem every day in your own words, and ask Him to help you.

5) Steve, build a life without the web - there is life after the web!

Steve, most of all, don't be down on yourself. Don't listen to the hellfire and brimstone preachers that send people to purgatory and give you a guilty conscience. Rebbe Nachman of Breslev says that if you believe you can make a mess of things, then believe that you can correct. Consider coming to Israel for a year or two for Yeshiva, and if that's not possible, think about a local Yeshiva for Baalei Tshuva. I'd like to see you make some solid spiritual gain, and then meet a wonderful young lady and start a family within the next two years or so.

If you would realize the satisfaction that Hashem has from your fight for Kedusha (holiness), you'd be jumping for joy all day long. I'll bet on you any day of the week, Steve - with Hashem's help, you're going to go a long way. Your friend always, Lazer Brody

The spiritual struggle between the spheres of Chessed d'Kedusha and Chessed d'Sitra Achra is the key to the Geula, or complete redemption of our people. Read more on this in Tomorrow's Lazer Beams, G-d willing.

Tonight in Queens, NYC

 
 

Tzedaka (Charity)- Everyone's a winner

Hi Rabbi Brody,

Today, my doorbell rang."Daddy, there's a man here asking for you." I know what that meant - a "shnorrer" - a bloak looking for a handout.

So, I got to the door and gazed upon a young man with very long and bushy sidecurls and sporting a frock coat. He was from Israel, he told me in broken English. He grew up in Eilat. Then he showed me his passport with the picture of him pre-peyot...a typical secular Israeli.

"I am Baal Teshuva," he said."I am getting married and need to collect money for the marriage. My family do not help." He showed me his Yeshiva in a photo showing a building very close to the Kotel. "You know Breslev?" he asked.

"Do I know Breslev...sure I do!" I pointed to my heart and said, "this is Breslev." He understood. So did I.

And I gave...the money left my hand...went into his...and a chord of connection was created. Breslev for me brings Torah within my reach; thanks to this young man's rebbe - Rebbe Nachman - my chain mail preconception of shnorrer yielded to the lofty mitzva of Tzedaka. Breslev makes Torah practical, a way of life.

This guy was shining.

The simple gift of no-strings-attached tzedaka reminded me what Rebbe Nachman teaches - focus on simplicity, the basics are what's important. One mitzva of tzedakka is worth more than all of Olam Ha'ze. Everyone's emerges happy - the donor and the receiver.

Thanks for the soapbox! Yours warmly, DD from the London