Lazer Brody's Blog, page 2

Disposing of the Double Standard

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The commandment of ���Love your neighbor like you love yourself��� (Leviticus 19:18) - what does it really mean? It means disposing of the double standard and judging others by  the same exact standard that we judge ourselves. Since we love ourselves, we have a long list of mitigating circumstances to justify everything we do wrong in life. But when someone else makes the same exact mistake, we're quick to judge and condemn, as if we have an itchy trigger finger that's all too ready to put a bullet between the other person's eyes. We don't do that to ourselves! When it comes to looking within, we're ever so patient and understanding, always able to find those mitigating circumstances, no matter how far-fetched they might be. But, As soon as we measure our fellow human's steps with a different yardstick than we judge our own, we are delinquent in fulfilling the commandment of loving our neighbor.

In light of the above, the double standard is an outright violation of several Torah commandments. First, it's a failure to love our fellow human as we love ourselves. Second, it violates the obligation of judging other people fairly, for fair judgment means giving them the benefit of the doubt as we always give ourselves. And third, it violates the commandment of emulating the Creator; as He is kind, compassionate and merciful in judgment, so must we be.

Double standards destroy relationships, whether in marriage, career, parenting or any other interpersonal setting. Let's see a few examples:

Marriage: Jon arrived home thirty means late from work. His wife Marilyn was fuming. ���Why are you so selfish and inconsiderate? Didn't you know that I need your help? Can't you find a better time to chat with your colleagues?��� Only a week ago, Marilyn came home an hour late, causing Jon to miss an important lecture he wanted to attend. But Marilyn blamed the traffic jam, the long line at the checkout counter of the supermarket and the slow service at the gas station, when in truth she had spent considerable time chatting with a girlfriend she met. Does it ever occur to her that Jon might have been in a similar rush-hour bottleneck on the beltway? Maybe Jon had to refuel his car too. When she's late, that's fine; but when he's late, he gets labeled "selfish and inconsiderate". It's only a matter of time until the double standard totally devastates their marriage.

Parenting: 8-year old Joey wasn't paying attention at the table and spilled a glass of milk. Stuart, his father, roared at him, embarrassing him in front of the whole family, calling him a careless baby. ���Should we make you wear a bib and sit in a high-chair too?��� chided Stuart relentlessly, not realizing that every word of verbal abuse was like stabbing his son in the heart. Yet, only a week before, Stuart drank a little too much at the Shabbat table, spilling a glass of wine with the glass breaking into smithereens all over the dining room floor. There was no talk about carelessness, baby or high-chair. Instead, Stuart blamed the glass for being so top-heavy and unsteady. A few years down the road, Stuart will shrug his shoulders, not understanding why adolescent Joey doesn't respect him or listen to a word he says.

Interpersonal relationships: Silver and Cohen each own real estate agencies and they belong to the same synagogue. The real estate market is tight in their city, so they haven't earned as much as they did in the early 2000's, ten years ago. Silver begrudgingly donated $500 to the synagogue building fund, and considered this a laudable act of total dedication on his part. But when he found out that Cohen, who in fact earns no more than he does, donated four times as much, he said, ���That cheapskate can afford it ��� with his money, he could have afforded to give much more!��� Silver calls his stinginess ���total dedication��� while labeling his colleague's generosity as stinginess. This is the double standard that is the result of arrogance, lack of character refinement and utter disregard and/or ignorance of the Torah's commands between man and fellow man.

If we have two yardsticks, one for ourselves and one for everyone else, let's throw one of them away and use the same one ��� the one of lenience and understanding ��� for others as well as for ourselves.

Seeing others in a positive light is a prerequisite for being able to ���love your neighbor as yourself.��� How then, do we start to love others and see them positively? We start by excusing their shortcomings the same way we excuse ourselves. That way, we not only refine our own character but we make the world a better place.

Bouncing Back from a Setback

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Sure, it really hurts. You lost the match. Maybe you just now flunked your driving exam. Or maybe you just received a rejection letter from the school, job or marital prospect of your choice. Anyone hurts all over from a setback that's natural and expected. Remember, we're flesh and blood���

The good news is that there's no law that one must stay down from a setback. Indeed, getting back on our feet requires far more strength of character than staying on our feet, without ever haven been knocked down. For that reason, King Solomon, the wisest individual who ever walked the face of the earth, said, "A righteous man falls seven times, and gets up again" (Proverbs 24:16). In other words, he doesn't merit the title "righteous" until he has fallen at least seven times.

Don't let a setback get you down. You can't have a comeback until you've had the setback. Don't forget too that even the halfback and the linebacker of the winning team are full of bruises and sore muscles.

Take five minutes and ponder the following five points ��� one point per minute. They'll put you back on your feet and give you the motivation and power to make your own fantastic comeback.

Only doers fail. People who drive sometimes get traffic tickets. People who don't drive don't ever make wrong turns. Wouldn't it be ridiculous if an elderly person bragged that he never committed a traffic violation, if he never drove a car? The first consolation of a setback is the knowledge that you are a doer.
Setbacks teach, and usually trigger a stronger second effort. Failure guards us against complacency and arrogance. When we fail, we realize that we need to improve. Oftentimes, a second effort is far superior to even a best first effort. Don't be angry with yourself; just try harder. Failure is like your soccer team losing a goal ��� the other team may have scored a point, but the game's not over! A setback helps us try harder and reach higher, thereby enabling us to fulfill a higher level of our potential. And, if you've failed that driving test, it simply means that with a few more lessons and additional practice, you'll be a much better driver on the road, for your own safety and for the safety of everyone else on the road.
Setbacks strengthen faith. If we were constantly successful, we'd probably walk around with our noses in the air. Then, we'd be ugly, heaven forbid, because few things are uglier than arrogance. The Creator loves humility and wants us to realize that He is the source of both our setbacks and comebacks, failures and successes. He gives us a setback (yup, it's not your fault!) because He wants us to pray a lot harder and earnestly seek His assistance for our next effort. If our lives were a perfect string of successes, we'd almost certainly neglect our spiritual development.
Experience is life's best teacher. The experience of a setback, especially a painful one, drives a lesson home immediately. Usually, we are slow in internalizing and implementing what we learn. After a setback, we have a golden opportunity to better ourselves immediately.
Small-scale setbacks assures large-scale success. Where would an actor prefer to forget a line, in rehearsal or on stage? A failure in rehearsal often assures a better performance on stage, since the actor makes a special effort to polish the rough edges of his or her performance. Sometimes, small failures are none other than preparations for large successes. Rejections are Divine filters to keep you away from unwanted paths. Rejected? Don't be dejected. Something much better (job, soul-mate, etc.) is on the way.

Therefore:

Don't ever despair when you have a setback. Try harder, ask the Creator for help, and then be positive that you'll do much better the next time. Depression and despair stem from the dark, spiritually impure side, and prevent you from being happy. Despair perpetuates inner turmoil and creates a barrier between you and Divine light. With these five minutes of motivating ourselves, we now mobilize the strength within us to make a great comeback. It's the real deal. When we do, we usually discover that our second effort yields much better results and reveals potential that we didn't even know that we had. Remember, the setbacks all come from a loving Father in Heaven and they're all for our very best. Now smile, because it's all good. Yours always, LB

Making Dreams Come True

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An End to Resentment

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Faith and Trust

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Pilates: Central Role in Cardiac Rehabilitation

The distinguishing characteristic of the Pilates system of exercise is its requirement of steady and controlled breathing. This is an integral part of the Joseph Pilates concept of "contrology" - the science and art of coordinated body-mind-spirit development through natural movements. Inasmuch, Pilates moderates the strain, jerkiness an anaerobic extremes that are frequently associated with such western forms of strength-oriented exercise as sprinting, weightlifting and plyometrics while incorporating the calm, control and concentration that characterize the eastern approach to exercise, as seen in such forms as Yoga and Tai Chi. The result is the best of both worlds:  Strength development and coordination enhanced with power and grace.

The benefits of Pilates are enormous in recovering from atrial fibrillation. Experimenting on myself with careful monitoring, I compared the result of an intensive 30-minute Pilates routine that included 26 exercises to a resistance routine that included 4 circuits of deadlifts, goblet squats, renegade pushups and weighted lunges whereas each exercise was performed at weights that enabled me to do ten reps in order to avoid straining my heart and pushing myself into anaerobic mode. In addition to the superior overall post-workout feeling of the Pilates routine, the results ��� which repeated themselves several times, were dramatic as we see in the following table:

Parameter

Pilates

Resistance Routine

Total Time

30 minutes

30 minutes

Kcal burned

158

256

HR (heart-rate) Average

98 (65% of Max)

123 (82% of Max)

HR (heart-rate) Max

134 (90% of Max)

162 (108% of Max)

In/Out zone (minutes)

28 / 2

5 / 25

The above table clearly shows how the Pilates routine was so much gentler to my body, yet without sacrificing training effectiveness. After the Pilates routine, my core felt stronger and my posture dramatically improved. In addition, I felt more invigorated than after the resistance routine. With Pilates, there's virtually no chance of over-training, which is my dangerous athletic evil inclination and that of many peak-performance-seeking athletes. Consequently, as I have proven to myself, I would surely incorporate Pilates as the prime and preferred form of exercise in any cardiac rehabilitation program.

Even if your heart is 100% healthy, do yourself a favor and enroll in a Pilates course. It will do wonders for your posture and your core strength, and it's gentle on the body. You won't burn as many calories as you do in high-intensity training, but your injury level will drop to zilch. My blessings for your good health!

Footnotes:

Includes warmup and cooldown for resistance routine; warmup and cooldown were an intrinsic part of Pilates routine

The InZone = my target zone of 55-80% HR Max, OutZone = >80% HR Max (HR Max = 220-Age, in my case=150 bpm)

5 Simple Steps for Staying Calm Under Extreme Pressure

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Many offer flowery advice for staying calm under pressure, but unfortunately, much doesn't hold up under combat conditions, as they say in the military.

In the last 10 years, many thousands of deadly rockets have fallen in the south of Israel where I live. Frequently, families have been back and forth between the bomb shelters and living quarters, having to cope with overflows of adrenaline every time the Red Alert siren wails and the rockets and/or rocket interceptors explode. It's not pleasant, to say the least.

Over the years, I've put together a few simple guidelines to coping and staying calm in the scenarios of rocket attacks, which have proved effective. If these ploys work under rocket attacks, they certainly won't let you down in coping with day-to-day stress.

Remember Hashem! Say over and over, ein od milvado  - "There is no one but Him," and remind yourself that a hair cannot fall from your head against his will. Remind your family that Hashem is right here with you.
Thank Hashem for whatever blessings you can immediately think of, such as, "Thank You, Hashem, for this bomb shelter" or "Thank You, Hashem, for the IDF and the missile interception systems." Ask your children to say what they're grateful for and to thank Hashem too.
Sing or hum a melody of faith, encouragement and inspiration - I love this one or this one, for example. If you're with your family, get everyone to sing along. There will be no more fear.
Say, "Hashem loves me," over and over.
Be optimistic - positive thoughts lead to positive outcomes.

By now, the coast is probably clear. Every time you implement the above steps, in part or in whole, under fire, you develop more inner strength. They won't let you down.

Introducing: The Path to Your Peak

Wherever I go, I ask people to tell me what they think is the worst evil inclination. You can imagine what most people say, but what they're thinking is really #2. When I tell you what #1 is, you'll nod and say, "Sure, why didn't I think of that?"

The worst evil inclination today, in both men and women, is the feeling that you're not good enough. Why do people feel like that? There are two reasons: first, they compare themselves to others; and second, they haven't tapped in to their own amazing potential. This is like a poor guy on a park bench who doesn't know that he has $20 million in the bank. What a tragedy!

As a spiritual guide and health & fitness coach, I've had the privilege of helping people around the world discover themselves and their unique talents and aptitudes. My practical technique is now available to you in a very reader-friendly form entitled, "The Path to Your Peak", conveniently available on Amazon in both pocketsize paperback or Kindle ebook formats. Do yourself a big favor and read this book - you'll be glad you did.

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The Ten Commandments of Healthy Bones

Your skeleton is your frame; any sturdy structure needs a healthy frame and the human body is no exception. Strong bones, the components of a strong skeleton, are determined by their density: the higher the bone density, the stronger the skeleton. Weak bones are the result of osteoporosis, a condition where the bones ("osteo" in Latin) become progressively more porous ("poros" in Latin). Osteo + poros = "osteoporosis", much of which is triggered by a poor diet, lack of exercise and lack of exposure to sunlight.

Not only karate experts who smash bricks and cinderblocks with their fists and elbows need high bone density. We all do. Strong bones can mean the difference of weathering a slip on a wet floor or breaking a hip, Heaven forbid. Seniors and expectant mothers are two populations that must especially pay attention to bone health, but with the increase of sugary beverages and junk food, more and more children are coming down with juvenile osteoporosis. 

It's our responsibility to ourselves and to our families to do all we can to promote healthy bones and bone density and to prevent osteoporosis. With that in mind, here are some myth-free do's and dont's of healthy bones:

The Five Do's of Healthy Bones:

Eat plenty of calcium-rich foods - sardines, almonds, leafy greens, yogurt, yellow cheese and chia seeds are great sources.
Soak your beans before cooking them, then cook them in fresh water. That will rid the beans of the phytates that bleed calcium.
Eat plenty of protein - I suggest 0.8 gr/kg body weight for people with a non-vigorous lifestyle, and 1.0 gr/kg body weight for athletes and people who perform heavy labor.
Engage at least three times a week in weight-lifting or other resistance training. The more pressure we put on our bones, the more we build bone density. Kneading dough with your hands is an example of a wonderful exercise for bone density. In bodyweight training, pushups are the king, especially doing pushups on your fists.
Get plenty of Vitamin D and expose yourself to sunshine frequently; 30 minutes a day is lovely for people with average skin color; those with lighter skin color bust do less, and those with darker skin color will need more.

The Five Dont's of Healthy Bones

Avoid low-calorie and fad diets. A body starved of calories will bleed out calcium and lose bone density and strength. If you want to lose weight, do it by increasing your exercise and making the right food choices, and not by starving yourself.
Avoid salt! Sodium is calcium's public enemy #1. That means avoiding salty foods such as manufactured foods, fast & junk food, and restaurant foods.
Carbonated soft drinks, especially colas, contain phosphoric acid which increase the calcium that's secreted in one's urine. Stick with water and seltzer, both of which will save your calcium and save you loads of calories. Don't forget, the diet colas might have zero calories, but they're horrible for your bones.
Cut your caffeine/coffee intake way back - you lose about 6 milligrams of calcium for every 100 milligrams of  caffeine you ingest. Since an 8-ounce cup of black coffee has about 150 milligrams of caffeine, it'll rob your body of 9 milligrams of calcium. Don't forget that many soft drinks (infamous #3 directly above) also contain high amounts of caffeine.
Do not buy processed or smoked meats, period! In addition to a load of unhealthy chemicals they contain, manufacturers inject them with loads of calcium-bleeding phosphates.

Follow the above "Ten Commandments" the best you can, and you'll be much stronger. We want you to be able to dance in good health at the weddings of your great-grandchildren. A bottle of cola with a smoked meat sandwich isn't worth losing your bone health over. Swap it for  a vigorous workout followed by a green smoothie with almonds and chia seeds. Let's all say a resounding "No to osteoporosis!" Every blessing, LB 

The Precious Minute

Lives have changed in split seconds. Hundredths of seconds have separated between gold medalists and those who finished 4th and didn't even win a bronze. One heartbeat separates between life and death...

If seconds are so vital, then what can we say about the priceless irreplaceable commodity known as a minute? What's the value of a moment in life, or a life itself? Too many people take their own lives for granted...

Do you think crossing the street or arriving safely at your destination is a foregone conclusion? Not at all. In the USA during the year of 2017, 6,000 pedestrians and over 40,000 motorists and automobile passengers lost their lives in accidents.

In Israel during the same year, 84 pedestrians were killed crossing Israel's streets and another 362 travelers were killed on Israel's roads. To put these figures into proper perspective, we must first remember that each is a sacred, irreplaceable soul. Second, we must realize that these 446 fatalities were over twenty times greater than the number of fatalities that resulted from terrorist attacks against Israelis during the same year of 2017.

One minute ��� or even less ��� can save your life. Anyone who has ever been involved in a traffic accident (or in a war) knows that I'm far from exaggerating. Here's how:

Before you cross the street, even if you're at a crosswalk with a green light and you have every right of way, say a short prayer that won't take more than a few seconds: "Father in Heaven, help me get safely to the other side of the street." As we saw in the above-cited statistics, no one can take safely crossing the street for granted.

Before you put your keys in the ignition, take advantage of one precious minute that could save your life. In your own words say, "Beloved Father in Heaven, help me arrive safely at my destination. Guard me from all peril on the roads and guard my vehicle from any damage." You can't imagine how effective, time and money saving such a brief prayer can be.

Whatever you do in life, remember the power of a few moments of prayer.

If you're an athlete, before you go out on the playing field or the competition arena, ask the Creator to help you perform at your very best. You've been training so hard, for weeks and months; that one minute of personal prayer could make the difference between victory and defeat.

Business people know that clinching deals often defies logic. When you expected to make money, you lost money, and vice versa. Before you enter a negotiation, begin a transaction or start a new day of work, ask the Creator to grant you success.

If you're a teacher, ask the Almighty to put the right words in your mouth so that you'll be able to give over the subject matter to your students in the most engaging, clear and comprehensible manner. Pray for your students' success as well and wait and see how you soon become teacher of the year���

If you're a homemaker or a husband who helps with the cooking, ask the Almighty to help the food, cake, challah or whatever you're cooking or baking to come out successfully.

At this point, many people ask, "Do these mini-prayers really help?"

They sure do. We don't come uninvited to other people's homes. By the same token, the Creator doesn't come uninvited into our lives. If we think we're capable of doing anything on our own, He lets us. Then, the results aren't always favorable. On the other hand, when we seek His assistance, He smiles down and says, "Beloved son or daughter, since you are seeking My help, I'm right here with you." This is a signed check from King David, who said, "Hashem is close to all who call Him ��� to all who call Him in sincerity" (Psalm 145:18).

With the Almighty close to you, you'll not only cross the street safely but you'll enjoy every other blessing in life, all for the tiny price of the precious moment of personal prayer.

May you enjoy an abundance of Divine blessings for everything good always!

With deepest friendship, Lazer Brody