Mark A. Rayner's Blog: Mark A. Rayner's Goodreads Blog, page 79

Time travel/pop culture mashups with humor potential

Gilligan is marooned on "Más a Tierra", later renamed to Robinson Crusoe Island, with Alexander Selkirk, a Scottish castaway who had a low tolerance for bullshit
Joey (from Friends) is sent back in time to live with Fourth Earl of Sandwich, while the Earl was still working on his eponymous invention. (I recommend sending Joey back to the time when Sandwich was still using cedar boards instead of bread.)*
Transport all the characters of MASH (season 7 or after) back to the actual Korean War. This could be first offering in a series of pop culture/war mashups, which could include:

McHale's Navy at the Battle of Trafalgar
China Beach at the Crimea
Hogan's Hero's at the Battle of Gaugamela (put them on Persian side for maximum laughs)


Jerry Seinfeld is sent to work at a medieval tannery in Sweinslop, Germany, without any sneaker polish
Cliff Claven and Norm Peterson join the Donner Party.
The main cast of Sex in the City visits Krakatoa, in 1883, moments before it explodes with the 13,000 times the force of the Hiroshima bomb.

This is just the beginning. Now all we need to do is invent a working time machine, and have some kind of way of turning fictional characters into real people.

*You may want to check out Woody Allen's excellent article about the invention of the sandwich, Yes, But Can the Steam Engine Do This? Alltop would love to join the Donner Party. It loves parties!

Time travel/pop culture mashups with good humor potential

Gilligan is marooned on "Más a Tierra", later renamed to Robinson Crusoe Island, with Alexander Selkirk, a Scottish castaway who had a low tolerance for bullshit
Joey (from Friends) is sent back in time to live with Fourth Earl of Sandwich, while the Earl was still working on his eponymous invention. (I recommend sending Joey back to the time when Sandwich was still using cedar boards instead of bread.)*
Transport all the characters of MASH (season 7 or after) back to the actual Korean War. This could be first offering in a series of pop culture/war mashups, which could include:

McHale's Navy at the Battle of Trafalgar
China Beach at the Crimea
Hogan's Hero's at the Battle of Gaugamela (put them on Persian side for maximum laughs)


Jerry Seinfeld is sent to work at a medieval tannery in Sweinslop, Germany, without any sneaker polish
Cliff Claven and Norm Peterson join the Donner Party.
The main cast of Sex in the City visits Krakatoa, in 1883, moments before it explodes with the 13,000 times the force of the Hiroshima bomb.

This is just the beginning. Now all we need to do is invent a working time machine, and have some kind of way of turning fictional characters into real people.

*You may want to check out Woody Allen's excellent article about the invention of the sandwich, Yes, But Can the Steam Engine Do This? Alltop would love to join the Donner Party. It loves parties!

Sad Spaceman worries about his tubes

More Sad Spaceman at the website.

Alltop is the best humor aggregator on the intertubes.

Ask General Kang: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving on your home world?

No, we have several holidays that are somewhat similar, but essentially we break your celebration into two components. And then we have one "thanksgiving" day which is totally alien to your world.

In the late months of the harvest time on Planet Neecknaw, we have a holiday that is probably closest to your Thanksgiving (which is really just a North American holiday, not a global phenomenon.)

Cram It!

This harvest festival is called Cram It! The name really explains it all. The focus is on the cramming or stuffing of things: delicate fruits and nuts into the hollowed-out abdominal cavities of tasty and unsuspecting foul; this and other foods crammed into the gullets of a glutinous simian horde; and for those monkeys who haven't overdone the gastronomical cramming, there is a special "evening" cramming that happens when the little macaques are in bed, if you get my drift.

Famanguish

We then let the hangover from our Saturnalia-like Cram It! become a distant memory, before we celebrate Famanguish Day, which is when we force ourselves to spend the day with our extended family (whom we usually never see) and ask them to revive all of our crippling emotional traumas. Sometimes families are creative and come up with new traumas especially for that day. Sometimes many. Nobody looks forward to Famanguish, but everyone participates because, "you only have one family."

Kangsgiving

Then when I was Overlord, I instituted Kangsgiving Day, which followed the day after Famanguish. Kangsgiving is a day of rest, in which you are supposed to sit at home and quietly thank me for not forcing you to go to work after the horrors of Famanguish. Also, you can drink as much coconut or banana liqueur as you'd like, as long as you agree to do a tour of duty in my crack Gorilloid Toilet Cleaning Service. This is a non-combat unit whose sole duty is to clean up after the Gorilloid Army. They can be messy — oh, let's not mince words, the Gorilloid Army makes the Savage Pooflinging Brigade look fastidious — but hey, all the banana liqueur you want … and I send it to your house.

Next time: Last year you mentioned something about dark matter being a figment of my imagination. How do you explain the rotational speed of our galaxy then?
Other turkeys are being served at alltop. Originally published 2007.

Sad Spaceman needs to cut the cord

Alltop just watches youtube all day.

Sad Spaceman regrets breakfast

In case you're wondering, I've started a new Tumblog called Sad Spaceman, and I am stealing things from it. You may get some textual funny later this week.

Alltop wouldn't know textual funny if it was hit in the face with the Oxfjord Dictionary of English Humor.

Sad Spaceman gets philosophical

Alltop is worried about having its files decompressed.

Clowns ARE scary!

Clowns ARE scary!, a photo by Phil Kneen(www.philkneen.com) on Flickr.

Why your cat sits in the most inconvenient place possible

Of course, it's recent evolution.

Alltop loves sitting on the Internet.

Rejected names for the London Rippers

Sometimes it's a bit embarrassing, living here in London, Ontario.

In the last week, we've got the dubious honor of being the first city to forcibly remove the tents of the Occupy protests here in town. (There's been relatively little outcry.) And now, we've got a new baseball team causing problems.

Yay, right? Well, it turns out they've decided to call themselves the London Rippers. The president of the club has made the weak excuse that it's about "ripping" a ball's cover off, because they hit so hard, but all you have to do is look at their logo, and it's pretty clear the name is a reference to Jack the Ripper. Everyone's upset about it, and the mayor has even asked the owner to change the name. (This is the same genius that had the peaceful Occupy protesters removed from Victoria Park in a late-night raid.)

The thing is, the Rippers is not even the worst name the new baseball team came up with. Here's a short list of the names they rejected:

The London Bridges
The London Hoodlums
The London Fog
The London Droogs
The London (The Other One) Westminster Abbeys
The London Intestinal Blockages
The London Big Bens
The London Aggressive Cancers
The London Buzz-Bombs
The London Hackneys
The London Arterial Spurts
The London Bat Buffers
The London Ball Bobbies
The London Hitlers

I'm sure our research-monkeys have missed a few, so feel free to add others in the comments.

Alltop used to play for the Lincoln Unabombers.