Mark A. Rayner's Blog: Mark A. Rayner's Goodreads Blog, page 59

Thag not like mornings!

When he awoke, his mate Onga was less than a hand away from his face, smiling her most dazzling smile. Somewhere, out in the forest, birds were chirping; bright light streamed through the canopy, illuminating the mossy forest floor with … Continue reading →

Clown Apocalypse: The Day the Laughter Died

It was as though everyone who was infected by the Bozo Virus (BV) had received an extensive education at the Barnum and Bailey Clown College. In fact, one of the early ways of detecting the infection was for doctors to … Continue reading →

Clown Apocalypse

Fight Your Demons, a photo by Lissy Elle on Flickr. Years later, the survivors discovered the Bozo Virus got its start at Escola de Clown de Girona, near the end of semester. The “Esclowna” was a kind of university/prep school … Continue reading →

Ask General Kang: Would you ever consider running for public office?

Your politicians disgust me. They pander to the lowest common denominator. They lie. They’re corrupt. They are vile, low creatures, worse than a Tregladian Bladder Beast, or even that fuzzy purple stuff you see growing all over dead things on … Continue reading →

An Open Letter to John Hodgman, Minor Celebrity

Dear Judge John Hodgman, I would normally never bother a minor celebrity, but I have a warning to pass along. It may save your life. Last night I had a rather disturbing dream. It felt prophetic, though I hope it … Continue reading →

Fitted Sheets — Perfectly Cromulent Folding Instructions

Perfectly crumulent indeed. Alltop has trouble with t-shirts too.

Ask General Kang: A long question…

Dear General Kang: My apologies for this really long question, but there is an old phrase that I’m not sure of the beginning. It goes something like: 1. With a lick and a promise. 2. A lick and a promise. … Continue reading →

Aging Nostalgia

This chart imparts two important points to me: I am older than the average American I had no idea the movie Forrest Gump was so important. The list is marginally less depressing than a game a co-worker of mine used … Continue reading →

I Have Not Lingered In European Monasteries

by Leonard Cohen I Have Not Lingered In European Monasteries and discovered among the tall grasses tombs of knights who fell as beautifully as their ballads tell; I have not parted the grasses or purposefully left them thatched. I have … Continue reading →

What is art?

“The basic project of art is always to make the world whole and comprehensible, to restore it to us in all its glory and its occasional nastiness, not through argument but through feeling, and then to close the gap between … Continue reading →