Pembroke Sinclair's Blog, page 4

The Pandemic is Taking a Toll on Work-at-Home Pros

I became a full-time freelance writer in October 2018. I also worked from home as a full-time editor for a few months back in 2016. When I was looking for a traditional office job after moving to Nebraska, I filled my time with freelance gigs. It’s safe to say that I know what it takes to work from home.

I’ve always been self-motivated. Getting work done from home has never been a problem. I have kids and pets, so staying on a schedule has never been a challenge. I had to be up to make sure the dogs were fed, and then I had to get the kids to school.

The pandemic has impacted that.

I still have to get up and feed the dogs, but once they have been taken care of, I don’t have to worry about getting the kids up and ready for school. Instead of staying awake, I head back to bed.

At first, it was really nice. I’m not a morning person, so I enjoyed being able to get a little more rest before I started my day. It helped me feel refreshed and focused.

I still go back to bed after feeding the dogs, but now it feels like getting up is a burden.

At first, I told myself that I needed to get up by 8:00 am to get started on my work. Now, I’ve pushed it back to 8:15, but even then, I wonder if it’s necessary to get up that early. Most days, I spend several minutes contemplating if I really need to get up or if I can stay in bed for a little longer. While I (thankfully) still have work to do, it has definitely slowed down.

My anxiety also isn’t exactly sure how to deal with what’s going on, so I have days where I swing back and forth between a full-body anxious buzz and the edge of a full-blown panic attack.

Every so often, I also have an existential crisis.

I find myself wondering what it all means.

Why is this going on?

Is humanity really that bad?

Why is humanity so bad?

Will things ever go back to normal?

Were things really normal in the first place?

How is this going to change life in the future?

And the questions go on.

I have to force myself to get out of bed and get to work. I can’t see the reason for staying on a schedule to get things done, especially when my tasks don’t fill up my entire day.

This, of course, leads to more laziness and lack of motivation. I do my best to stay active. I get outside when the weather is nice and hang with my boys, but some days it’s incredibly challenging.

Having the boys at home and keeping them on task is incredibly challenging as well. Not only do I have to keep track of my assignments, but I have to make sure they are getting their work done as well. It’s too easy for them to ignore or “forget” an assignment, so I literally have to loom over them to ensure they get it done.

I get it: they’re kids. They’re going to get out of as much work as possible. This is a learning moment, a way to teach them how to be responsible and self-motivated and develop a schedule.

But it’s exhausting. My schedule is falling by the wayside, and now I’m expected to keep them going?

I know I’m not the only one going through this. I know a lot of people are struggling with the changes right now. Many are asking questions that don’t have any answers. Many are losing motivation and feeling tired.

I’m a work-at-home pro, and I’ve been doing it for a long time, but this pandemic is taking a toll on me. There are so many uncertainties, and that causes a lot of stress.

Since I’ve struggled with depression for the vast majority of my life, I can’t help but wonder if a lot of these feelings are because I’m spiraling downward. Who could blame me if I was? The world has been turned upside down. Life as we know it has been forever changed. That’s tough for anyone to deal with.

There are no easy answers right now. All we can do is keep on keepin’ on. If you’re having a hard time with life, know that you’re not alone. Working from home and dealing with kids is exhausting. Remember to take some time to take care of you. Even if that means getting out for a walk or watching a show you really enjoy. You deserve it.

If you have found some ways to cope and stay motivated, share your insights. Your idea may be just what someone else needs to get through these uncertain times.

Book Marketing Requires Persistence

When my first book was published in 2009, I had no idea what I was doing. I assumed that once my story was in the world, people would instantly find it, read it, and love it.

They would be begging me to write more.

Hollywood would be pounding on my door, fighting for the movie rights and paying me obscene amounts of money to create more amazing works.

The reality was much different.

Although there wasn’t the number of books being published in 2009 as there is now, there were still a lot on the market. It didn’t take much to get lost in the crowd.

With each passing year and with every new book, I learned more about the book marketing game.

My biggest takeaway: it requires persistence.

Throughout the years, I’ve done a lot for my books.

I started a blogI got on Facebook and TwitterI created a Pinterest page (which, by the way, I did not use often)I joined a variety of different groups—many of which no longer exist on sites that have become defunctI went on blog toursI had cover revealsI hosted blog toursI participated in online book release parties and other eventsI created workshops and presentations for schools, libraries, and humanities councilsI went to conventions and conferencesI paid for advertisingI signed up for workshops to turn my novel into a movie scriptI paid to talk to movie producers and list my books on different book-to-movie sitesAnd the list goes on.

Was it enough? Probably not.

I certainly didn’t spend the amount of money for advertising that I know others have spent —mainly because I didn’t have the funds.

But I did what I could.

And I (mostly) had a lot of fun doing it.

But at the same time, it’s incredibly exhausting. Book marketing takes a lot of energy and resources. I did what I could with what I had, but when I ran low on either, I couldn’t keep going.

Once you and your books fade from the world, it’s incredibly hard to get back into the limelight. I had a small following of fans, but I definitely didn’t reach the popularity I had wanted/hoped or that other indie and self-published authors have reached.

At the time, I was okay with that. I was happy with the small successes I had made. I held out hope that one day, all would change.

And it did.

But not in the way I expected.

Since I only had a small following, it didn’t take long for me and my work to fade from the world.

And that’s okay.

I stopped putting in the effort. I stopped being persistent.

That’s the price I pay for not having the energy to believe in myself.

Back in the day, when I was doing interviews on podcasts and blogs, one of the questions I would always get asked was: What advice do you have for new writers?

My answer varied depending on where I was in my publishing journey, but now it’s this:

Book marketing requires persistence. If you aren’t constantly trying to find a way to stay in front of your audience and letting them know that you are creating and finding a way to engage with them, you’ll fade away. If you don’t want that to happen, you need to keep creating, keep putting yourself out there, keep trying.

I have no regrets about what happened, and I’m not angry. I was for a while, but I’ve let it go. Most days, I debate whether it’s worth the time, effort, and resources to try to make a comeback.

And the answer is no.

The World Has Knocked Me Down

Hello, friends.

You may or may not have noticed that I haven’t been posting for a while. Last year took a huge emotional, physical, and spiritual toll on me. Dealing with three deaths and a divorce pretty much sent me over the edge. Most days, it was all I could do to pull my carcass out of bed. I had no energy to write. I just needed to disappear.

So I did. In a variety of different ways.

Not only did I stop blogging, but I also disappeared from social media. It started with my Twitter account, then eventually I got off Facebook. I just…couldn’t take it anymore.

I don’t want to get into the dirty details of it, but just know that I’ve been taking a hard look at my life and trying to figure things out. It hasn’t been easy. I’ve had to face some harsh truths about myself and the world, and there are things about me and my life that I’m trying to improve.

All of this is in addition to the anxiety and other mental struggles I’ve been dealing with for the past 2.5 years after moving to Nebraska. With the recent pandemic, things aren’t exactly on an upward swing.

But I’m trying to take some steps.

One of the decisions I came to during this time is that I’m done trying to make money off my books. It wasn’t a super lucrative endeavor in the first place, and I only feel frustrated and like a failure when I check my sales stats.

Looking back at my historical information on Amazon, I always did really well when I gave my books away. Thus, I’m going to offer my stories for free on Wattpad . My paperbacks will still be available for sale on Amazon, but you’ll be able to read the electronic versions free of charge.

I will be uploading the stories individually, and I’ve started with The Appeal of Evil .

As I’ve been uploading the chapters, I have to say that I don’t hate the story. There are some parts that I really like, and I remember how much fun it was to write. I hope that readers will find the same enjoyment reading the story as I did writing it.

By the end of the month, I hope to start uploading my Saving Humanity series. The first two, Humanity’s Hope and Edge of Humanity , are done. I have the next two books, Finding Humanity and Losing Humanity, edited and ready to go, but I’ve been sitting on them for a year. I finished them right about the time I lost my mind.

I now feel ready to share them with the world. There will be at least one more book in the series, and it’s been started, but I don’t know if I’ll have the energy to finish it any time soon.

Right now, I’m just trying to take some small steps to figure out if this is where I really want to be.

Taking Keywords Too Far?

I work as a freelance writer, which means I create content for blog posts and websites. For the most part, it’s an enjoyable job—and one that is fairly easy. I’ve learned a lot about marketing and keywords in the process, as well as ways to make my information more appealing to readers and the search bots (although I don’t always follow the advice).

In essence, the goal of content creation is to develop materials with keywords so that searchers and search bots can find you. There’s a process of how to find the right keywords , and it can be convoluted, so I’m not going to go into details. The goal of incorporating keywords is to make them sound natural and flow within the writing. Otherwise, the bots are smart enough to know that you are keyword stuffing .

Keywords are important. I’m not saying that they aren’t. However, what’s more important is creating content that your audience wants to read. Stuffing keywords into blog posts will get you found and could have you ranking high on search lists, but if no one is actually reading what you have to say, it’s a waste of time.

Some people don’t understand this. They read that keywords are important and need to be incorporated in their content, so they try to stuff as many as they can into the document. I’ve seen assignments that want 10 (or more) keywords used at least three times each in a 1,000-word document. To put it in perspective, 1,000 words is about 2 pages single-spaced. That may only be 30 words out of a 1,000, but trying to enter those naturally and not disrupt the flow of the content can be a challenge.

And it has to flow naturally. If it doesn’t, the piece will be clunky and hard to read, which means that real people won’t spend the time to see what you have to say.

I’m good at what I do. I’ve learned how to slide some of the most challenging keywords into a piece, and I have placed 10 or more multiple times in one document. However, there are some tasks that are beyond me—I think they may be beyond most writers. Those assignments make me laugh.

My suggestion is this: if you have that many keywords that you need to incorporate into your content, then make more content. Make the pieces shorter and use less keywords in each. This accomplishes two goals: it uses all of your keywords and gives you more content to attract people to your site.

It’s ridiculous to try to insert so many keywords into one piece, and you won’t be fooling the bots. All you are doing is making your content convoluted and hard for real people to read. It’s challenging finding the balance between appealing to bots and to people, but there is a way to accomplish it. And it doesn’t involve adding more keywords to your list.

I Switched My Schedule…And Lost My Mind

With the kids being gone on the weekend, I thought: this is the perfect time for me to get my work done. The house will be quiet, I won’t have to interrupt my workflow to get them from school, and it will give me something to do. Plus, taking off days during the week will allow me to run errands. It was a win-win.

The process of switching meant I had to work 10 days straight, and this turned out to be exhausting. I was also in contact with a new editor, and they asked me to write some test articles. I had 24 hours to get them done, but I finished them way before the deadline.
The next day, I got on my email to check something and noticed my message—and my articles—hadn’t gone through. Cursing under my breath, I resent with an apology. A few days later, I received edits, which I was more than happy to do, and I sent those off. I then got another email. I had edited the wrong article.

 Nothing like making a great first impression. 

There’s a reason why people get stuck in ruts and enjoy their schedule : because it’s comfortable. Our bodies and brains get used to doing the same thing day in and day out, and it becomes automatic and keeps us focused. When we change our schedule, we have an increased chance of making mistakes. This can be stressful. It makes change hard.
I know in time I’ll get used to my new schedule and be able to focus on my work. I just don’t know if I’ll be working for that particular editor when that happens.

I’m Entitled to My Feelings

In today’s society, there is this notion that if you are overly emotional, you are weak. If you show anything less than a stoic and unwavering façade in the face of pain or tragedy, there’s something wrong with you. You are more valued if you have a cutthroat and unrelenting personality than if you are kind.

This is bullshit.

One of the things that makes us unique as humans is our ability to feel. Yes, sometimes our emotions can get the better of us, but when we learn to embrace and recognize our emotions, they don’t become so overwhelming.

In the last few years, I have done a lot of soul searching and self-reflection. Some of the things I’ve learned about myself is that I’m an INFJ and a highly sensitive person . People hurt my feelings. The world affects me on deep levels.

For the longest time, through the words and actions of others, I was taught that my feelings weren’t valid. I couldn’t express my true feelings or thoughts. If I did, there was something wrong with me. I was crazy or overreacting. I learned to keep things bottled up . I kept my mouth shut.

Pushing feelings deep down inside and pretending they don’t exist doesn’t make them go away. In fact, all this does is create a time bomb. At some point in time, those feelings are going to explode out of you. From experience, I know that it doesn’t happen at the most opportune moments. And it’s usually not directed at the people it needs to be directed at.

In addition, unexpressed emotions can turn into depression and anxiety. Living with these is much more challenging and debilitating than taking a few moments to cry or be pissed or laugh hysterically. These take a much larger toll on your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

I’m tired of pretending I don’t feel. I’m over hiding my emotions. Yes, I’m highly sensitive and I can get upset easily. But you know what? I’m entitled to my feelings. There’s nothing wrong with me for having those emotions. More often than not, I will be upset, sad, or angry for a while, and then I’ll let it go. And this is a healthier way to deal with these problems.

I’m also done with people who tell me I can’t feel my feels. If they get upset or angry because I’m crying or have hurt feelings and they lash out at me, that says more about them than it does about me. I have no desire to be around people like that anymore.

I’ve encountered them through all stages of my life and in various places, including the workplace. They are exhausting and frustrating and hard to be around. More than likely, they have denied themselves their feelings, and they have no other outlet for their emotions. They are trying to maintain their stoic and unemotional façade. They are trying to keep from blowing up.

They won’t succeed. It takes a lot of energy to keep things pushed down and hidden away. Something will give , and it won’t be at an opportune moment. They may be able to refrain for months or even years, but they’ll eventually crack.

Every emotion is valid. Every feeling deserves to be recognized. Nothing in this world lasts forever, and sadness, anger, happiness, and all the others come and go. Life is too short to not feel what you need to feel. I’m trying to live my life like that every day. If people think that makes me weak, that’s fine. You’re not my people.

I’m not going to pretend to be something I’m not. I am highly sensitive. I am overly emotional. I cry at movies, TV shows, and sometimes commercials. I get angry with my friends and others when they are disrespectful and rude. In time, I get over it. I move on. These are all the things that make me, me. I’m not going to deny who I am anymore. And I don’t need anyone’s approval to do that.

Since When Did “Skilled” Equate to Being “Perfect”?

October marked the 1-year anniversary of me going freelance. It’s been an interesting transition, with a lot of ups and downs and lessons learned along the way. I decided to work from home so that I could have a more flexible schedule for my kids.

I’m not shy to admit that I’m good at my job. I am deadline-driven and self-motivated, so I have no problems getting up in the morning and getting right to work. I set a goal for myself each day, and when I achieve that goal, I’m done. Some days I’m done super early, others I work my full 8 hours. The great thing about being freelance is that I have that ability. I don’t have someone looking over my shoulder and breathing down my neck or a set schedule that forces me to be in an office.

While there are some amazing things about freelancing, there are some cons—as you can imagine. The biggest one I’ve seen is expectations. For some reason, there seems to be this notion that as a skilled writer, I should also be perfect, that my work should always pass by editors needing little correction.

I’m not sure where or how this idea got started, but it’s amazingly false. I mean, isn’t that why editors exist in the first place? To catch mistakes before things go to the client or get published? I get that I have to do a read through before I sent my documents along, and I do, but things will still slip by. I’m human. It’s part of my nature.

While I’m happy to say that I’m good at my job, I’ve never once claimed to be perfect at it. I have good days and bad, and on bad days, I struggle to write. My sentences come out sounding like complete garbage. I try to fix what I can, but—again—isn’t that why we have editors?

I love my relationship with editors. They are amazing people who make me sound coherent and smart. Working together, we create a piece that audiences want to read. The key here is working together. Both of us have to do our parts.

I understand that editors get overwhelmed and busy. I’ve been there, done that. But to expect that a writer is going to turn in perfect work every single time, that’s just unrealistic. And getting upset and rude about it isn’t going to change the situation.

One of the amazing things about freelancing is that I have the choice of who I work with. Even online, you will find toxic people (what?! That’s just crazy talk!). However, since I can move from one job to another, I don’t have to stick around and put up with their abuse. It’s a big world out there, and people always need a dedicated writer.

I’m not sure when “skilled” became synonymous with “perfect,” but it’s not something that only exists in the writing world. I’ve seen it other places as well. When you expect employees to be perfect, you’re always going to be disappointed.

Instead, look for someone who is willing to learn from their mistakes and improve. Everyone has bad days. Everyone is going to turn in shite at some point in time. The goal isn’t to berate or disrespect them. The goal should be to let them know what needs to be fixed and give them the tools to learn. That is going to go a lot further than threats.

It's Halloween Week! Get Some Free Books!

I know for a lot of us, the entire month of October is a good time to celebrate Halloween. BUT I can't do free books for the occasion for the entire month. THUS, if you're looking for some demons or zombies to read during this spooktacular week, check out my free books. I hope you enjoy!


This omnibus contains both books in the Life After the Undead series: Life After the Undead and Death to the Undead.

After moving to North Platte to help build a wall that will keep the zombies in the West, it becomes apparent that the zombies aren’t the biggest threat—some survivors are far more dangerous than ever imagined. Seventeen-year-old Krista must quickly figure out how she's going to survive in the zombie-destroyed world.

Join Krista in her quest to survive in these thrilling apocalyptic novels by Pembroke Sinclair.

Available at Amazon 


Katie’s world has been turned upside down.

Katie, a senior in high school, is torn between loving the “good” guy and the “bad” guy. She falls for Josh—despite the fact that he’s a demon from Hell. With Josh, Katie is able to find out about her past and discover who she wants to be as a person. But things aren’t always what they seem.

Katie finds herself constantly torn between good and evil and having to pick sides. Will she choose the one that is right for her? How will she know? Find out in this young adult paranormal romance series by Pembroke Sinclair.

Available at Amazon

I Lost My Mom When My Grandma Died

On Good Friday of this year, my grandma died. She was in her 90s and it was expected, but it was still hard. She had been in hospice care, and my mom and my aunt were there by her side until the end. My dad, brother, and I headed out that weekend for support and the funeral.

I can’t imagine how hard it was for my mom to deal with that. Knowing that the end was coming but having no idea when. How much stress was she under thinking that every breath my grandma took could be her last? How many questions and doubts ran through her mind? How often did she wonder if they had made the right choice? How much guilt coursed through her thinking that there was something more they could do but weren’t doing it?

Not only is that type of situation emotional, it’s traumatic. It’s something that stays with you for a long time. Having to make those decisions and going through the heartache and pain day in and day is life changing.

Before my grandma went into hospice, I had been facing some of my own challenges. I would talk to my mom every day, sometimes multiple times a day, looking for support, advice, and empathy. She was always there to provide.

When she headed back to be with my grandma, I reduced my contact. I didn’t cut it off completely; I sent her inspirational quotes and let her know that I was there if she needed anything. I stopped talking about my problems. The last thing she needed was that on top of everything else.

It was at the moment that I realized I had been depending on my mom too much. Part of me wanted—and hoped—that she would do or say something that would make all of my troubles and issues go away. It was unfair to expect that of her—and unrealistic. I realized then that I had to figure things out on my own. I had to learn to depend on myself.

Coming to this realization was difficult. It didn’t mean I had to cut my mom out of my life completely, and it certainly didn’t negate all of the wonderful things she had done for me. But it changed her role, how I viewed her. I knew I could still talk to her and that she would still support me, but it changed how I depended on her. That was my decision. One I came to on my own. I never said a word to her.

When I went back to be with my family for the funeral, emotions were high. There was sadness, but there was also joy. Pain, but also relief. If you’ve ever experienced a death, you know that all emotions often get mixed into the moment.

I had a hard time dealing with it. I didn’t know what to do or what to say. I had no idea how to support my mom or be there for her. I felt out of place. That’s a strange thing to feel around your own family, but I don’t know how else to describe it. I did what I could, but I never felt like my actions were right or enough. I was trying to find my place after the decision I had made and working through the issues that had existed before and never went away.

A few months after the funeral, things changed again. My life spiraled further into despair. I was back to texting and talking to my mom pretty much every day. Then, she had to deal with more tragedy. So, once again, I reduced my contact and refrained from heaping my issues on top of hers.

My mom and I have always had a good relationship. She has always been my support, my inspiration, my idol. She is an absolutely amazing woman, and she has always been so strong. It was hard for me to see her hurting. I wanted to help, but I didn’t know how. I did what I could, but it never felt like it was enough.

Again, on top of all of that, I was dealing with my own trauma. Not having my mom be there like she had always been in the past was hard for me to handle. It left me feeling alone and isolated. I felt abandoned.

As unfair and awful as that sounds, I can’t deny my feelings. It made me angry—both at her and at the universe. I did the only thing I could: I withdrew into myself. I cut everyone off, including my mom. I shut out the world.

When my grandma died, I lost my mom. I lost her to tragedy, grief, and stress—both hers and my own. All of those things have changed me, and they have changed her.

I don’t think either of us know how to be there for each other right now. There are hurt feelings on both sides, and we are reeling from loss.

It’s hard to lose your mom. Mine is still around physically, but there has been an emotional disconnect.

It’s probably unfair for me to be upset and angry, but I don’t know how to let it go. She is also entitled to have those feelings, and to feel lonely, isolated, and abandoned. If she feels these things, I don’t know. But I wouldn’t be surprised if she did.

Logically, I understand how terrible it is for me to feel the way I do. But at the same time, dealing with change is hard. No one is going to come out of this loss being the same person they were before. How do you negotiate that?

I want to get to know my new mom once things have calmed down. I’m sure that we can once again have a relationship and talk. But that is going to take time—for both of us.

My Dog Ruined My Carpet

I love all three of my dogs. They are the most amazing, wonderful, unique fur babies ever. They have all the best dog qualities, including always being happy to see me, they don't talk back, and they know when I need to cuddle.



No matter how adorable or loving my dogs are, they will never be perfect. If they have one flaw, it's their uncanny ability to ruin carpet.

When I lived in Laramie, my male corgi would get bored and tear up the edge of the carpet where it met the kitchen laminate. Then, of course, there was the potty training phase.

For anyone who has ever owned a puppy, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It takes a lot of patience, some puppy pads, and numerous bottles of carpet cleaner before they finally figure out that they need to go outside.

But my dogs aren't puppies. I haven't had a puppy for over 3 years, and yet, my carpet has still been destroyed.

In my dog's defense, he was sick. Poor baby had a staph infection around his eye, so he had to go onto various medications. One of them caused him to be super thirsty, so he was drinking a lot of water. Which meant he had to pee a lot.

And by pee a lot, he apparently couldn't go more than 2 hours without going outside. You can imagine that made things difficult in the middle of the night or if I was out running errands.


To be clear, I'm not mad at my dog. He couldn't help it. And I've always hated the carpet anyway. I feel bad for my dog. He's my Old Man at 8 years old, and I'm sure he feels horrible. But, at the same time, I am a little annoyed that I have to clean up dog pee this late in the game.

Still, I wouldn't give them up for anything! And FYI: he is getting better. Aside from the peeing side effects, the medication is clearing up his infection.