Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 92
May 13, 2023
May 13, 2023: The Horror Marathon is back on!
Enemy (2013)
A man seeks out his exact look-alike after spotting him in a movie.
My thoughts: You’d be hard-pressed to find a more lethargic execution of this premise. Some of the character logic is hard to swallow; equally so the obtuse symbolism.
2.5/5
High Life (2018)
A father and his daughter struggle to survive in deep space where they live in isolation.
My thoughts: Style over substance in this pretentious sci-fi film that seems like it has a lot to say, but chooses to do so in opaque and lethargic fashion.
2.5/5
Annabelle: Creation (2017)
12 years after the death of their daughter, a doll-maker and his wife welcome several girls from a shuttered orphanage into their home, where they become the target of the doll-maker’s possessed creation, Annabelle.
My thoughts: I”m not usually a fan of prequels but this one bucks the trend, delivering a spooky stand-alone tale with some pretty solid jump scares.
4/5
Scream VI (2023)
In the next installment, the survivors of the Ghostface killings leave Woodsboro behind and start a fresh chapter in New York City.
My thoughts: As the kills grow increasingly contrived, the meta elements increasingly clunky, and the end-of-film revelantions increasingly expository and convoluted, it’s clear that this franchise is running on fumes.
P.S. Kudos to the ludicrous resiliency of stabbing victims.
2.5/5
2LDK (2003)
Two actresses who have auditioned for one part, sharing the same apartment with opposite personalities equals a night which either neither of them will forget – if they survive!
Thoughts: Top notch direction in this out-there thriller that makes efficient use of its lean runtime, building both characters and tension towards its gloriously over-the-top climax.
4/5
The post May 13, 2023: The Horror Marathon is back on! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
May 12, 2023
May 12, 2023: Writing, Capunti con Broccoli, and Columbo!
Holy smokes! What a productive day! I completed the first draft of Issue #2 of my horror comic (Grand announcement forthcoming), finished a first pass on the overview for that small town supernatural mystery series, also completed a first pass on the Business Plan for my indie horror film, and bought an oilfield service stock on the dip. All this while in Montreal with mom, entertaining family…
Pictured (clockwise from bottom left): Mom, Auntie Antoinette, cousin Evelina, cousin Leonora.
They stopped by for lunch on their way back to Toronto following their own Montreal visit. ON the menu today: Capunti con Broccoli, crab mousse, pickled eggplant, taralli, and almond cake.
Make your own Capunti con Broccoli at home. Mama Mallozzi shows you how!
As per routine, last night I sat down with mom to watch a double-feature of Murder She Wrote and a thoroughly implausible Columbo in which Faye Dunaway plays a flirtatious socialite who attempts to seduce the crumpled detective.
It’s all rather awkward, made all the more so by the fact that Columbo is married (to a woman who, it is revealed in an early episode, makes a habit of stealing restaurant ashtrays!) – though later divorced for t.v. purposes so they could launch the Mrs. Columbo (aka Kate Columbo, aka Kate the Detective, aka Kate Loves A Mystery) series starring Kate Mulgrew as his MUCH younger ex-wife (a show Peter Falk summed up accordingly: “It was a bad idea. It was disgraceful.”). At some point in the series run, they fiddled with the backstory so that rather than once being married to Peter Falk’s Columbo, she was married to an entirely different Detective Columbo, sorry for the confusion. Ten years later when Peter Falk reprised the role of Columbo on ABC, he made a passing reference to a strange woman running around pretending to be his wife.
Today’s Yes/No…
Midnight Snack (banana, peanut butter and bacon-flavored) Whiskey? Yes/Nohttps://t.co/YrXnEpApSX
— Joseph Mallozzi
(@BaronDestructo) May 12, 2023
The post May 12, 2023: Writing, Capunti con Broccoli, and Columbo! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
May 11, 2023
May 11, 2023: Unusual Deaths!
#UnusualDeaths
In 1857, 15 year old farmhand John Mitchell was literally frightened to death by fellow servant John Percival who jumped out at him one night wearing a white table cloth. Percival subsequently spent three months in jail for, presumably, impersonating a ghost. pic.twitter.com/6KfmpLznE1
— Joseph Mallozzi
According to legend, in 762, the Chinese poet Li Po (also known as Li Bai) drowned after attempting to embrace the reflection of the moon on the waters of the Yangtze River. Some suspect he may have been drunk at the time. pic.twitter.com/VcZNDmInDA
— Joseph Mallozzi
#UnusualDeaths
On October 9, 1911, whiskey great Jack Daniel died from blood poisoning, the result of an infection incurred after he kicked his office safe in frustration because he had forgotten the combination.
(Pictured: the actual offending safe) pic.twitter.com/yeOJsj6zXC
— Joseph Mallozzi
#UnusualDeaths
On February 25, 1983, American playwright and screenwriter Tennessee Williams choked to death on a bottle he was holding in his mouth while applying eye drops. pic.twitter.com/1xpQ8c1EFR
— Joseph Mallozzi
#UnusualDeaths
In 1985, lifeguards at the New Orleans recreation department celebrated their first drowning-free season with a pool party which was attended by over 100 lifeguards – none of whom noticed the drowned guest floating at the bottom of the pool until party's end. pic.twitter.com/nVYbwcUbRt
— Joseph Mallozzi
#UnusualDeaths
On March 22, 1687, Jean-Baptiste Lully died of gangrene, the result of an injury suffered when he banged his toe with a conductor's staff during a performance of Te Deum. If only he had opted for a conductor's baton. pic.twitter.com/KqfIAtzICu
— Joseph Mallozzi
#UnusualDeaths
King Bela I of Hungary died on September 11, 1063 after suffering serious injuries when his wooden throne collapsed beneath him. pic.twitter.com/HE0ii1Xw3Y
— Joseph Mallozzi
#UnusualDeaths
To prove that Yellow Fever was transmitted by mosquitoes, American physician Jesse William Lazear allowed an infected mosquito to bite him. He contracted Yellow Fever and died on September 25, 1900 – but not before proving his hypothesis. pic.twitter.com/LMCkN23rk0
— Joseph Mallozzi
#UnusualDeaths
Like most chemists of his day, Carl Wilhelm Sheele made it a habit to smell and taste the new chemicals he discovered. He died on May 21, 1786 as a result of exposure to lead, arsenic, and hydrofluoric acid. pic.twitter.com/vwNlE3Ku7e
— Joseph Mallozzi
#UnusualDeaths
General John Sedgwick of the Union Army died on May 9, 1864 just prior to the Battle of Spotsylvania Court House. Shortly after uttering the words: "They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance.", he was shot and killed by a Confederate sharpshooter. pic.twitter.com/rc4HV4QLme
— Joseph Mallozzi
The post May 11, 2023: Unusual Deaths! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
May 10, 2023
May 10, 2023: Amazing Covers!
These caught my eye…
Daredevil #11 – cover art by Dave Johnson
Rogue & Gambit #3 – cover art by Jeff Dekal
Silk #1 – cover art by Derrick Chew
Silk #1 – cover art by Tom Reilly
The Amazing Spider-Man #25 – cover art by Greg Land
Barbarella: The Center Cannot Hold #3 – cover art by Madibek Musabekov
Nocterra #14 – cover art by Tony S. Daniel, Marcelo Maiolo
Green Lantern #1 – cover art by Pete Woods
Spirit World #1 – cover art by Zu Orzu
The Sandman Universe: Nightmare Country – The Glass House #2 – cover art by Michael Walsh
Ghostlore #1 – cover art by Reiko Murakami
Colorless, Vol. 4 – cover art by Kent
So, which were YOUR favorites?
The post May 10, 2023: Amazing Covers! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
May 9, 2023
May 9, 2023: Montreal Day #2! Blurbs and Reviews!
My mother’s internet his slower than the the dial-up at my high school library.
Today, I was dispatched on not one but TWO shopping missions. On the first, I got lost and a trip that should have taken 30 minutes took closer to 2 hours. The second was a much more manageable 20 minute foray for cheddar cheese and two batten-down-the-hatches-and-let’s-ride-out-this-storm size bags of sugar.
The power was down all morning as crews worked to fix the damage from last month’s ice storm. I took advantage of the down time to do some writing – in my head – and accomplished next to nothing. For some reason, when I’m in Montreal, I get nothing done.
Got the preliminary shooting schedule for that horror movie. I’m pleasantly surprised. To be honest, I thought it would be longer. Hopefully the pleasant surprises continue with the pending delivery of that preliminary budget.
Had a productive talk today with an indie film-savvy producer this afternoon, then touched base with an old friend from my Dark Matter days to help educate me on the tax credit front.
The script, as it turns out, was the easy part. The business plan is much more foreboding.
On blurbs and reviews…
It really depends on how I'm feeling at the time and, to be honest, there's nothing worse than having to read a book if you're not in a reading mood. Especially if someone is counting on you. 2/
— Joseph Mallozzi
I'd say that I truly love, at most, 10% of the books I read, or the shows and movies I watch. The lion share range from below average to pretty good. Roughly another 10% are terrible. 4/
— Joseph Mallozzi
It's really hard to win me over (as the recent bullet reviews in my on-going horror marathon have proven) and, while I try to be supportive, I cannot, in good conscience, lie. 6/
— Joseph Mallozzi
I rarely agree to do blurbs or reviews of upcoming titles because I really don't want to end up in a situation where I am expected to say something positive about a bad or boring book. 8/
— Joseph Mallozzi
Of course there are exceptions. If I've read the author and enjoyed their previous work – say, a John Scalzi, an Adrian Tchaikovsky, or a Jeff VanderMeer – I'm happy to commit because I know I'm unlikely to be disappointed. 10/
— Joseph Mallozzi
…they are simply looking for validation. And I'm passed the point of being surprised by who falls into which camp. A couple of years ago, I agreed to be a mentor for a program to help guide young female screenwriters. 12/
— Joseph Mallozzi
Every last one. They were super gracious, often asked if we could hop on a follow-up zoom to go over the notes, and I was always happy to discuss. 14/
— Joseph Mallozzi
Most were not. Out of that particular group, 3, maybe 4 (certainly less than half) would get back to me to discuss. The rest would either pretend it never happened or (ideally) never contact me again. 16/
— Joseph Mallozzi
Today’s Yes/No…
Whey-based Whiskey? Yes/Nohttps://t.co/lS74NyvX0m
— Joseph Mallozzi
The post May 9, 2023: Montreal Day #2! Blurbs and Reviews! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
May 8, 2023
May 8, 2023: Montreal!
I’m in Montreal for the next 9 days or so. Mom has sciatica so it’s my job to make sure she lays off the scissor kicks and focuses on taking it easy.
Then pass up on revenge, preferring instead to allow the killer of their Queen to face courtly justice.
2. Carl Grimes – An anti-climactic end that came out of nowhere and never impacted the story in any meaningful way. 2/
— Joseph Mallozzi
4. Zoe Barnes – Murdered in broad daylight, in public no less (!), just conveniently out of range of security cameras, by a public figure. And is quickly altogether forgotten. 4/4
— Joseph Mallozzi
What say you? Should I be surprised asking Stargate and Dark Matter fans?
Dearest Monica,
It is with heavy heart that I tweet to inform you my wife has capped my new female friendships at 12 per annum. Having already reached my max allotment for 2023, I've gone ahead and waitlisted you. Trust you are as patient as you are optimistic and cheerful. BD pic.twitter.com/Jlezmv40lD
— Joseph Mallozzi
I continue to expand my supervillain t-shirt collection…
Look at what arrived in the mail today.
My Advanced Idea Mechanics t-shirt!#AIM pic.twitter.com/zFUS2iqPOT
— Joseph Mallozzi
My 89-year-old mother’s strongest memories: her wedding, the birth of her children, that time she received a pair of second hand shoes at a gift exchange.
— Joseph Mallozzi
And, no, it was NOT a fond memory.
Today’s Yes/No…
Sandwich-flavored Chips? Yes/No
BLT, Buffalo- Chicken, Cuban!
Thanks to @jimbo_lawson for the tip
Lay's Made 3 New Sandwich-Flavored Chips for Summer https://t.co/RfPVlEhOxK via @foodandwine
— Joseph Mallozzi
The post May 8, 2023: Montreal! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
May 7, 2023
May 7, 2023: Suji Sunday!
18 years young!
Suji and friends
Out and about with dad.
Birthday gift from mom!
Birthday coffee shop outing…
The post May 7, 2023: Suji Sunday! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
May 6, 2023
May 6, 2023: Unusual Deaths!
#UnusualDeaths
In December of 1875, a mouse in a South London factory had workers in a panic. One young man tried to corral it, only to have the rodent scurry up his shirt and into his open mouth. He reflexively swallowed and the mouse proceeded to dig its way out, killing him. pic.twitter.com/3O8ed36B3y
— Joseph Mallozzi
#UnusualDeaths
In November of 1872, pallbearer Henry Taylor was killed by the coffin he was carrying after tripping and having the damn thing land on him, making the already solemn occasion downright grim. pic.twitter.com/gjEoPfW6KA
— Joseph Mallozzi
#UnusualDeaths
In 1891, Isaack Rabbanovitch made the very unwise decision to snatch a keg of vodka back from a bear who had broken into his tavern for a nightcap. Enraged, the bear hugged Isaack to death, then did the same to his two sons and daughter before nodding off. pic.twitter.com/TX59FETnhh
— Joseph Mallozzi
#UnusualDeaths
In 1197, Henry II, Count of Champagne, was watching a parade from his palace window when the window lattice gave way, sending him plunging to the ground below. Although the fall didn't kill him, his dwarf – who tumbled after him and landed on his back – did. pic.twitter.com/TxI0uObbah
— Joseph Mallozzi
#UnusualDeaths
On May 13, 1889, stage mentalist Washington Irving Bishop was killed by his own autopsy. Prone to falling into cataleptic states, he always carried a card that explained his unique condition – but the physicians who removed his brain claimed they never saw it. pic.twitter.com/Q4FqTOCqwv
— Joseph Mallozzi
#UnusualDeaths
The Bullet Catch is a stage magician trick that involves a gun being fired at a magician who, magically, catches the bullet with his teeth. There are varied ways in which the trick is pulled off, most commonly through the use of a blanks. 1/ pic.twitter.com/662BGtPJbv
— Joseph Mallozzi
#UnusualDeaths
In 581 BC, a shaman prophesied that Duke Jing of Jin would not live to eat that year's new wheat. On the day the of the harvest, Jing had the shaman executed, happily ate the new wheat – then hurried to the toilet, only to fall in and drown in a pool of dung. pic.twitter.com/n2Efv2NQFP
— Joseph Mallozzi
#UnusualDeaths
In 307 BC, King Wu of Qin challenged his friend Meng Yue to a test of strength that involved lifting bronze cooking pots known as dings. Ying dropped his ding and suffered a fatal injury. Meng was blamed and executed. And so was his family for good measure. pic.twitter.com/e7CPL3Olcm
— Joseph Mallozzi
#UnusualDeaths
King Wu Yi was notorious for disrespecting the gods, playing liubo (an ancient Chinese board game) against wooden statues of them and then really rubbing it in when they lost. The gods, notorious sore losers, eventually struck him dead with lightning in 1112 BC. pic.twitter.com/6oi4BrGjuT
— Joseph Mallozzi
#UnusualDeaths
The Roman Emperor Elagabalus (aka Heliogabalus) was a renown prankster. One of his most storied gags saw him use a reversible ceiling to dump tons of flowers on his unsuspecting dinner guests – smothering to death those unable to escape the flowery deluge. pic.twitter.com/DLxUcAMtjw
— Joseph Mallozzi
The post May 6, 2023: Unusual Deaths! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
May 5, 2023
May 5, 2023: Festivities!
One of my oldest friends is in town for a few days so we got together in advance of my trip to Montreal (where I will, in all likelihood, see him again). Nigel is making a stopover in Toronto in advance of a stopover in Montreal and an eventual move to Lisbon, Portugal (not to be confused with Lisbon, Ohio, Lisbon, Missouri, or Lisbon, North Dakota). His business has been taking him all over the world (Dubai, Indonesia, Mexico City) and looks like he’s finally about to settle down. For time being anyway.
This is him beating me to the bill.
Today was my gal’s 18th birthday! We celebrated with some hot chocolate (for me), cappuccino (for Akemi) and Kouign-Amman (for Suji and I). Then, Akemi and I went out for Vietnamese and, of course, brought back some leftover brisker for Suji. A late afternoon walk was followed by more treats, and then dinner – pan-fried chicken livers which Suji also enjoyed. Akemi has been spending most of the day thanking everyone who has been leaving messages on suji’s IG page: @NewOldPugsuji
I continue to remain busy writing. I working on the second issue of my soon-to-be-announced horror comic, writing a (rare-for-me) procedural pilot, while doing a very deep dive on the business of Indie filmmaking. I’ve reached out to a few experienced hands for guidance as I educate myself and work towards putting together a proper business plan for investors.
Today’s Yes/No…
Big Mac Tartare? Yes/Nohttps://t.co/vp5ocS07qM pic.twitter.com/uChECs2W1L
— Joseph Mallozzi
The post May 5, 2023: Festivities! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
May 4, 2023
May 4, 2023: Meanwhile, on the home front…
Eating natto…
Sampling Korean “turtle chips”…
Trying mugi shochu…
New jeans!
Ambush!
Black sesame smoothie…
Working out…
The dessert cupboard is bare…
The post May 4, 2023: Meanwhile, on the home front… appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
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