Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 474

January 1, 2013: Ringing in the New Year, “my family” style!

Before

After

Yep, it was quite a night!  We rang in the New Year in typical Mallozzi family fashion: eating an enormous dinner and then fighting to stay awake just long enough to catch the countdown before turning in for the night.

Some of the highlights:

Sis breaks out the mead.  I was the only one who drank it, and only because I was feeling all Games of Throne-ish on account of the goblets.

The family gathers – and waits impatiently for me to snap a pic.

Mom’s eggplant parmesan.

Mom’s baked musssels.

Mom’s biscotti.

Roxy hogs the couch.

Mom’s dogs.  And sis.

We toasted the New Year, I knocked over an open champagne bottle (actually, Asti Spumanti) which is apparently considered good luck by some and, soon after, I was in bed.

I made the most of the first day of 2013 by lounging about, perusing the internet, and grazing on leftovers.  I also partook in a Greek New Year’s tradition compliments of my sister’s friend, Daisy, who brought over…

Vasilopita, a (slightly) sweet egg bread.  Baked inside is a lucky coin.

The sign of the cross is made on the underside.

After which the bread is sliced, each slice representing a member of the family, the house, the poor, and the New Year.

My slice was, sadly, devoid of lucky coins.

As is custom in our household, the festivities continued through lunch as the family gathered to continue our hard partying ways…

Mom, resting her eyes.

So, do tell.  What are some of the traditions you follow to ring in the New Year?  Was your New Year’s Eve as exciting as mine?  Really?  I find that hard to believe.

Best in 2013 to all you regulars, semi-regulars, sometimes blog readers, and first-timers!

[Oopsy.  Forgot to mention that I'll be joining Barbara Barnett on her Blog Talk Radio show tomorrow (Wednesday, January 2nd) night for the second part of our Stargate: Universe discussion.  Again, I will be taking calls on the Stargate franchise so if you have one, phone in. And tune in at 9:00 p.m. Eastern, 8:00 p.m. Central, and 6:00 p.m. Pacific: (718) 305-6982.  Let's Talk Stargate Universe Season 2 w/Joe Mallozzi ].

Tagged: New Year's Eve

December 31, 2012: Hear yea! Hear yea! Let it be resolved that [2013 version]…!

It’s that time of year again – the time of year to make promises you can’t keep.  Before getting around to my 2013 half-commitments I thought it might be interesting to look back on last year’s batch of best intentions and gauge the various successes and failures…

“Joe’s 2012 New Year’s Resolutions:

1. Sit down to a marathon viewing of the entire 1967 animated Spiderman series.  I know, I know.  I’ve been talking about this for ages but this year, I’m really going to do it!

-No, no I didn’t, although I certainly did think about doing it.  A lot.  

2. Finish that pilot script I’ve been kicking around, like, forever.  I mean, seriously.  I’ve been working on this particular pilot, on and off, for two years now – writing, rewriting, shelving, re-rewriting, shelving, re-re-rewriting.  And shelving.  Compare to my buddy Robert Cooper who joined a bunch of us for a dinner back in Toronto where we discussed a fellow friend’s unnervingly creepy experience in what some (ie. those two dudes from Ghost Hunters) would consider a haunted house.  ”We should write a script based on this story,”Rob said at the time.  Two months later, he had completed the script and was shopping it around. Okay, I know.  Rob Cooper is possessed of superhuman writing abilities.  Still, if he can knock off a feature in two months, I should be able to complete a pilot script in less than two years.  No?

- Sadly, no.  I did actually start work on it – only to get sidetracked by other projects: the miniseries, the horror script, those other pilots.

3. Complete research on that grand historical drama and, if all goes well, actually start writing the script.

- Nope.  Again, I blame the distraction of the other projects…and the fact that I ultimately lost interest in this one.  

4. Set up Dark Matter as a television series (or mini-series).  The comic book launches January 11, 2012 (but you knew that already) and, while getting a television series up and running is a daunting challenge, we have the personnel and game plan in place to make it happen.

- More on this in the coming months.

5. Investigate the deepest, darkest recesses of my crawlspace and clear it out by getting rid of half the stuff that’s been sitting there, in boxes, since I moved in six years ago.

- This one was marginally successful.  While I didn’t get rid of anywhere close to half the stuff in the crawlspace, I did manage to clear out enough to make room for new stuff.

6. I make this resolution every December 31st but, after my experience this year, I’m determined to see it through: When it comes to business, stop being so pleasant and accommodating to others and be more of an asshole (before they are).

- This one has proven far more difficult than I imagined.  It pains me to admit that I fell back on my old, pleasant/accommodating ways again this year – and had it bit me in the ass yet again.

7. Dramatically improve my Japanese speaking and listening skills.  You know what I hate?   Meeting someone who has only been studying Japanese for mere months yet speaks and understands the language far better than I do.  More language CD’s in the car, more grammar reviews, more anime watching and, as a last resort, maybe a second Japanese girlfriend to help me practice conversation.

- Dramatically?  Not even close.  On the bright side, I have picked up a few interesting expressions like “peko peko” (hungry) and “dondake” (which I’ve yet to figure out but never fails to delight native Japanese speakers when I toss it out).

8. Master the doggy gate at mom’s place.

- Impossible.

9. Wear my reading glasses in social situations to help cultivate a faux intellectual persona.

- Hell, I don’t even wear my reading glasses when I’m reading, much less out and about.  Maybe with the right ascot…

10. E-NUN-CI-ATE!

- I remain as mumblesome as ever.

Hmmmm.  Overall, not good.  Not good at all.  Let’s try and do better next year, shall we…

Joe’s 2013 New Year’s Resolutions:

1. Sit down to a marathon viewing of the entire 1967 animated Spiderman series.  I know, I know.  I’ve been talking about this for ages but this year, I’m really going to do it!  Really!  I may also include a Flintstones marathon as well!

2. Sell that horror script.  And, failing that, put the wheels in motion to produce it myself.  Come on, people!  It’s a no-brainer!

3. Read more non-fiction.  My attempt to get into the mystery genre has been a failure.  I’ve read about a dozen highly recommended books and loved exactly none of them.  I did, however, discover the works of Jon Ronson (who was recommended to me by fellow writer-producer-chef Robert Cooper) and loved exactly all three of his books I’ve read so far.

4. Produce one of two (maybe both!) shows poised to go in 2013.

5. Investigate the deepest, darkest recesses of my crawlspace and clear it out by shipping half my stuff to my sister in Montreal and letting her deal with it.

6. I make this resolution every December 31st but, after my experience this year, I’m determined to see it through: When it comes to business, stop being so pleasant and accommodating to others and be more of an asshole (before they are).  I REALLY mean it this time!

7. Dramatically improve my Japanese speaking and listening skills.  Or, at the very least, learn a few more colloquialisms to amuse my Japanese friends.

8. Get a little more techy.  Seriously.  I’m having trouble syncing my gadgets.  How come season one of Homeland can play on my tiny laptop but not the big one?.

9. Wear my reading glasses while reading.  It’s a start.

10. 20% more luboo-luboo (an Akemism for affection).  This one was a personal request.

So, how’d you all do on this year’s resolutions?  And, knowing this, what’s your game plan for 2013?

Tagged: New Year's resolutions, resolutions

December 30, 2012: My Top 10 Christmas favorites!

Christmas may have come and gone but the holidays are still upon us, so why not maintain that seasonal spirit with a little festive viewing. The following are My Top 10 Christmas Favorites.

Some are movies.  Some are t.v. specials.Some are only slightly Christmas-related.  Regardless, every one of them never fails to put me in a holiday mood.

BETTER OFF DEAD

A surreal, under-appreciated comedy that happens to be set during the holidays.  A sexy French exchange student, an obnoxious rival (named, appropriately enough, Stalin), a claymation dancing hamburger sequence, and a very determined paper boy are just a few of the elements that make this movie joyously bizarre – and immensely entertaining.

STALAG 17

A Christmas movie only insofar as it happens to be set during the holiday season, A brilliant WWII movie starring William Holden as a roguish POW suspected, by his fellow prisoners, of being a traitor.

THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL

Michael Caine is terrific as Scrooge, but he’s upstaged by the likes of Kermit the Frog’s Bob Cratchit.  One of my favorite Muppet outings.

 TRADING PLACES

What the hell happened to Eddie Murphy?  Long before Pluto Nash came this wonderful comedy set during the holiday season.  Murphy was at his best and Dan Aykroyd was actually funny.  It seems like so long ago…

HOME ALONE

Oh, say what you will about the sequels, but the original shines as a truly inspired kid-centric holiday movie.

A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS

Nothing takes me back to my youth like the Charlie Brown holiday specials.  As great as it is, this one still runs a close second to It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.

HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS!

I’ve watched it every Christmas for as long as I can remember.  Love that dog!

DIE HARD

The quintessential Christmas actioner.

BAD SANTA

Like you’re Christmas holidays dark?  Then look no further.  Billy Bob Thornton is great as the degenerate would-be Santa, but he’s upstaged by Brett Kelly as the lonely Thurman Merman.

A CHRISTMAS STORY

Not just a great holiday movie but a great movie all around.  This is one my “desert island picks”, a movie I could watch over and over and over again.

Agree?  Disagree?  Are there any favorite you would include?  Let’s hear ‘em!

Tagged: Christmas movies, holiday movies

December 29, 2012: Well, it’s been a fun time in Montreal but it’s time to head back…oh. Not yet?

Sarah and Supa Nige.

Well, it’s certainly been nice reconnecting with friends and family here in Montreal but I’m looking forward to getting back to Vancouver and – oh, wait.  What?  I still have four a half days left in town?  Shiiii-oooot!  Uh…great!  Fantastic!

Today, we dropped in on my aunt and uncle.  An hour into our visit, it started to snow and, rather than risk being caught in a storm like the one we experienced the other day, we elected to cut short our stay and head home.  My mother suggested that, rather than going back the way we’d come, we should try a different, purportedly quicker route.  I was leery.  The road conditions were bad and getting increasingly worse.  Also, I may be adventurous when it comes to a lot of things, but driving aint one of them.  It may take a little longer, but I prefer to know where I’m going.  But mom insisted it would be simple.  Just take a right on St. Martins, left onto the highway, then take the turn-off to Montreal and it would be smoooooooooooooth sailing.

Well, as most of you longtime regulars to this blog know, whenever I say smoooooooooooth sailing it never is.

So we took a right on St. Martins, a left onto the highway, took the turn-off to Montreal and then…we were lost.  My mother suggested we take a right toward another highway.  I took the turn and, for the next twenty minutes, we found ourselves slip sliding along with no highway in sight, ultimately winding our way through an industrial area where I eventually pulled over and consulted google maps.  Another twenty minutes of white knuckle driving and we were finally on the highway and heading toward familiar territory.

As we turned off at our exit, mom glanced down at the dashboard clock and marveled over the great time we’d made (!).

An easier drive last night as Akemi and I headed downtown for dinner at Da Emma restaurant – which now occupies a building that was once Montreal’s first women’s prison.  Dinner was good (I suspect better than what was served to the former occupants) but the company was OUSTANDING as we were joined by my good buddy Supa Nige and his friend, Sarah (pictured above).  As long as I’ve known Nigel, he has been one of the city’s premier partiers: coming home from work, napping until 11:00 p.m., then heading out to hit the clubs until their 3:00 a.m. closing before heading home – unless it’s the weekend, of course, in which case it’s off to the after-hours parties.  He seems to know everyone in town.  Whenever we go out, he’s greeted with hugs and kisses from staff, clientele, and owners alike.  He’s a charmer.  And the quintessential bachelor.  Back in the day, he lived in what he considered the perfect apartment complete with custom carpeting, a state of the art entertainment system, and high-end furniture.  It had everything – except a stove.  Whenever I called him on it, he always insisted it would just take up room, space that could go to one of those zero-G astronaut chairs or a humidor.  Besides, he had a microwave, what the hell did he need a stove for?

Like I said, he’s always great company – and last night was no different.  I can’t believe it’s been almost two years since I last saw him – at his house party where, during one exuberant response to the Jamaican gangster movie he was screening, he jumped up and brought one of his ceiling-mounted speakers crashing down.

Good times.

A couple of announcements -

Cookie Monster conveys his apologies but he won’t be able to review Spiderman 3 for this Monday. He’s visiting Kermit in The Hamptons. As a result, our Supermovie of the Week Club will reconvene the following Monday.

The owners of Chino, the pit bull shot by a police officer in North Carolina (one of many recent police shootings of family dogs on private property like this one Chicago police shoot and kill second innocent pet dog in one month, this one Police kill homeowner’s dog while responding to call at wrong address, this one Justice for Chloe -Dog shot by Commerce City Co Police, this one https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=263119177122122&set=a.251151961652177.42171.251137081653665&type=1&ref=nf) have hired a lawyer.  Best of luck to them: Justice For Chino and Ivy

Finally, many thanks for the well-wishes sent my sister’s way following the passing of her beloved husky, Aspen.  She left the following message for you in the comments section:

I have been touched by the number of people who have reached out on my brother’s blog and on Facebook, taking the time to leave me a few kind words. I appreciate every one and take comfort in reading them over and over again.Those of you who knew me, know that Aspen was special to me. He was my “bad boy”, a challenge to train who always had to have the last word. But Aspen was loving, loyal, funny, goofy, dignified and proud.

Aspen was diagnosed with transitional cell carcinoma in June. As is common with the disease, by the time we found out, it had already metastasized to his prostate, bladder and lymph nodes. Our only option was chemo, which we tried for a while. When it became clear that the chemo wasn’t working and that the side effects were beginning to destroy his quality of life, we stopped the treatment. In early November, Aspen was in such rough shape that I thought his time had come. But my boy rallied and blessed us with just over one more month with him.

I know everyone says you will know when it is time and then it will be okay. I have even said the same thing to others. The truths is, you make the decision when you feel their pain is too great and their quality of life is gone, but it is never okay. It is never okay and it never feels right.

I opted to let Aspen die peacefully at home, surrounded by familiar smells and the things he loved. I knew I needed to be there for Aspen… with him to the very end. It was the least I could do for him after everything he had given me during his life. As I lay spooning him with his face in my hands, I buried my face in his furry nape and kissed his head. His ears were so soft. I sang to him, and told him I loved him, inhaling his familiar scent for one last time as he took his final breath.

I miss him so much, and cry often, but you know what helps? Your kind words and knowing you understand. Thank you.

Andria (aka Sis)

December 27, 2012: Aspen

A sad day amid the holiday cheer.  My sister’s husky, Aspen, passed away this morning.  He was a brave and beautiful boy, much loved and he will be missed…

Tagged: Dogs, huskies, husky

December 27, 2012: Snowed in!

No, not some back country trail in the early evening hours. This was my mother’s street at 10:00 a.m.

And another reason why moving back to Montreal holds little appeal: the snow and the cold.  It’s miserable out there today.  Pretty.  But miserable.  Especially when you’re trudging through two foot high drifts with your mom’s dogs, the wind whipping your exposed skin to a rosy pink.  The plan was to head downtown today for a little underground shopping followed by dinner at a Japanese restaurant (after three straight days of heavy French and Italian, Akemi is dying for Asian cuisine) but the weather has put a little hitch in that schedule.  It’s looking more likely we’ll be going with the alternate plan: season 2 of Modern Family, George MacDonald Frasier’s Flashman, and leftovers.

And not even last night’s leftovers!  We left those with sis!

Last night, we went to one of my favorite restaurants in town, Au Pied de Cochon, for a truly rustic, down home, Quebecois meal…

We were joined by my friend, fellow writer, and former co-worker (way back when I held an office job, developing animated shows for kids), Anne-Marie and her boyfriend, Jerome.

Sis and Daisy.

Akemi, off to a good start = bread and butter.

The tarragon bison tongue, a can’t-miss menu item.

The foie gras poutine temaki. Not bad but I wasn’t completely sold on the potato-rice combination.  It came with a foie gras sauce for dipping/pouring.

The melt-in-your-mouth foie gras terrine.

The guinea hen liver mousse.

Akemi – not the biggest fan of foie gras.

The blood sausage tart. It’s an acquired taste – which, yes, I’ve acquired.

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The headcheese. Fear not. There’s no actual “cheese” in the dish. Only parts of the head. And tasty potatoes!

Other menu items sampled included some bison rib, cromesquis (tiny deep fried foie gras bites), two types of pork chops, creamed squash, onion soup, tomato tart, and this interesting dish – duck in a can (served table side):

And, of course, dessert…

The uber dark chocolaty dark chocolate pot de creme.

Sugar pie. Yep. Pretty damn sweet. But tasty.

The lemon meringue tart.

Maple ice cream.

And to wash it all down – everyone else ordered coffees and teas, but I went with the maple milkshake.

I guested on Blog Talk Radio last night, the first part of a two part chat on SGU and the Stargate franchise in general.  It was fun, interesting and, occasionally, a little bewildering.  One of the early discussion points was character creation and I explained how screen presence and chemistry will often steer character development.  I cited the case of Dale Volker, a character we had planned to kill off halfway through season one – but who won a reprieve on the strength of Patrick Gilmore’s impressive performance.  He was too good to kill off!  We covered a wide range of SGU-related topics (the creation of the series, ratings, its premature demise) and I fielded a few questions.  Join us next week for the second part of our Stargate-related discussion during which I’ll field some more of your queries – and fill you in on my plans for 2013.

Apparently, Montreal isn’t the only area snowed-in.  But it’s nice to see our very own gforce making the best of it -

December 26, 2012: The Family Feast! A Blog Talk Radio reminder!

Mom preps for the family feast.

The family feast is a holiday tradition we have celebrated since way back when.  Over time, the faces at the table may have changed but the turnout has always been…let’s call it robust.  Yesterday, we all gathered at my cousin Marolyn’s place for the BIG holidays meal…

Akemi dons appropriate head gear.

Akemi spending time with the extended family. In this case – Lola.

Finnigan and Sis.

Cousin Jeanie – the Happy Homemaker – shows off her ham-carrying skills.

Cousin Evelina bedecked with ribbons and onion gravy.

The spread includes mom’s pasta and eggplant parmesan, and Akemi’s gravlax.

Dessert!

Lola and Akemi take a break.

Akemi and Molly.

There were seventeen of us in all.  In hindsight, I should have taken more photos of cousins, aunts, and nephews but, damnit, those dogs were so goshdarn cute!

And don’t forget to tune in tonight when I join Barbara Barnett on her Blog Talk Radio show.  We’ll be discussing Stargate: Universe’s first season and I’ll be taking calls on the Stargate franchise.  So tune in – and call in at 9:00 p.m. Eastern, 8:00 p.m. Central, and 6:00 p.m. Pacific: (718) 305-6982.  http://www.blogtalkradio.com/barbara-barnett/2012/12/27/lets-talk-tv-special-stargate-universe-season-1 …

December 25, 2012: In the holiday swing of things!

UPS screwed up another mango shipment.

I’ve been in full family mode for the past couple of days.  This of course, means different things to different people.  In my case, it means watching the second season of Modern Family on dvd with Akemi.  Oh, and eating and drinking and hanging with my own family…

Mom’s dogs – dressed for success.  And the snow.

Me, getting into the holiday swing of things.

We gathered at sis’ place for the gift exchange.  When we were kids, we were only permitted one present on Christmas Eve and had to save the rest until Christmas morning.  As we grew older, it became two presents, then three, then, eventually, all the presents after midnight. Nowadays, I’d prefer to get right down to business, but my mother insists on sticking to tradition.  Or as close to it as possible.  And so, rather than toll into the unwrapping of the gifts right after dinner, we wait for the appointed time.  In this year’s case, the appointed time being whenever mom woke up from her nap…

My favorite ornament from my sister’s eclectic collection.  I double dog dare ya!

Mom rests up for the big gift exchange.

I won’t bore you with a full run-down but rest assured I did get what I REALLY needed: about a dozen socks.  And I do mean REALLY needed because I only brought two pairs along with me for my visit to the east coast.

Akemi shows off her new slippers.

Only a foodie would get a dried mushroom assortment for Christmas.

Mom tears into her gift.  Roxy feigns disinterest.

Felix poses for his boudoir shot.

Art for the discerning pug owner.

My chocolate haul!

Sadly, it wasn’t all good cheer.  Sis’s husky, Aspen, isn’t doing too well.

Aspen

Sending extra special holidays wishes his way!

[addendum: A quick reminder that I'll be joining Barbara Barnett on Blog Talk Radio Wednesday, December 26th to talk/field Stargate questions.  That's 9:00 p.m. Eastern, 8:00 p.m. Central, and 6:00 p.m. Pacific.  Call in number: (718) 305-6982.  http://www.blogtalkradio.com/barbara-barnett/2012/12/27/lets-talk-tv-special-stargate-universe-season-1 …]

December 24, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Zoom!

Dis be less a movie and more an interminable collektion of lame musical montage sekwences punctuated by occasional attempts at a plot, charakter development and, worst of all, humor.

It say a lot about dis catastrophe dat de most interesting part of Zoom be opening five minute info-dump voice-over dat explain how two brothers, Zoom and Concussion, were part of superhero team (Zenith) until government experiment wit extra radiation (Gamma 13) turn Concussion evil and cause Zoom to lose his powers.  Concussion eliminate other team members but he blasted and seemingly killed. Until…

Turdy years later, scientists be tracking “a pan dimensional anomaly moving toward our space-time continuum” (accompanied by computer graphic dat seem to indikate de other dimension be lokated somwhere outside Long Beach).  Huh?  Not “huh” as if “Wow!  Dis too complikated for monster to understand!” but “Huh, dis make absolutely no sense!”. It as if someone couldn’t even be bothered to come up wit half-ass techno-babble.  In hindsight, dis not so surprising since it turn out same people couldn’t even be bothered to come up wit half-ass rest of movie.

Decision made to hire washed-up former Zoom to train new team Zenith.  We introduced to each potential new member in – CUE MUSICAL MONTAGE SEKWENCE!

At Area 51, Zoom and scientists hold American Idol-like auditions for new team Zenith – CUE MUSICAL MONTAGE SEKWENCE!

Making de cut are kids wit real super powers – invisibility, telekinesis, super strength – and some chubby kid who can inflate himself.  New Team Zenith trains – CUE MUSICAL MONTAGE SEKWENCE!

Zoom takes kids out on a joyride in a flying saucer.  Kids train some more – CUE MUSICAL MONTAGE SEKWENCE!

Kids trap scientist in eco-chamber and press weather buttons.  Ho ho ho.  Scientist get rained on.  Snowed on.  He get struck by lightning. Struck by avalanche.  Sprayed by a skunk.  Actors unconvincingly convey hilarity.

Kids train some more – CUE MUSICAL MONTAGE SEKWENCE!

Invisible boy and telekinesis girl develop romance.  Dey have all de seksual chemistry of John Madden and Pat Sumerall.

Zoom, meanwhile, reflekts back on de old days – CUE MUSICAL MONTAGE SEKWENCE!

Finally, it’s time!  Concussion arrives “in our space-time continuum”. And, boy, he pissed.  Zoom try to talk some sense into his brother. But no go.  Army try to capture his brother.  But no go.  So Team Zenith launch into action.  Concussion not so tough.  He get beat on by a bunch of kids!  How possible for him to ever be considered such a threat?

Zoom get his powers back and trap Concussion in a vortex dat, uh, draw de evil radiation out of his brother’s body.

CUE MUSICAL MONTAGE SEKWENCE!

Verdikt: As much as makers would want it to be, Sky High II dis aint.

Rating: 1/2 chocolate chippee cookie and one coupon for half-price laxative.

Monster wish everyone Happy Holidays!

Tagged: Cookie Monster film reviews, Cookie Monster movie reviews film & television, Cookie Monster reviews Zoom, superhero movies, superheroes, SuperMovie of the Week Club, Zoom

December: Happy Holidays from the dogs! And Akemi and me!

From my family to yours.  Happy Holidays!

Jelly goes for a walk – Christmas Edition:

P.S. A reminder that I will be joining Barbara Barnett on Blog Talk Radio this Wednesday night (9 p.m. Eastern, 8 p.m. Central, 6 p.m. West coast time) to discuss Stargate: Universe’s first season – and field all Stargate-related questions. Tune in.  Call in (718) 305-6982).  Details here: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/barbara-barnett/2012/12/27/lets-talk-tv-special-stargate-universe-season-1 …