Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 271

June 10, 2018: Hereditary and Housecleaning!

This past Friday, I caught yet another matinee – Hereditary, proclaimed by many critics to be the scariest movie ever made!

There were, admittedly, some great scares.  Also, some real head-scratching developments.  My thoughts…

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If you see the movie, I would love to hear your thoughts.

Also, I’m on a role.  What should I check out next on the big screen?

Today I hand in (what I assume will be) the final draft on two projects after which…who knows?  I’m taking the month of June to wrap up a number of things (including the move) and then, starting in July, I’ll be doing another, uh, housecleaning of sorts.  Time to recharge and refocus!

June 9, 2018: The Sunday Report!

When we first bought this new place, we figured it was in good enough shape that we could just move right in – only to find out, after closing, that those paintings the former owner had hanging were not so much wall art as they were obfuscating shields concealing all sorts of imperfections ranging from chips and scratches to gaping maws of exposed wiring.  So, we decided to have the place repainted.

When the painter asked us what color we wanted to go with, I figured a simple white would do but, as it turns out, there is nothing simple about choosing a wall color.  There must have been almost sixty different shades of white to choose from! Eventually, after much consideration, Akemi narrowed it down to these twelve favorites:

White Walker White

Snow Monkey Milk White

Calf’s Brain White

Bleached Desert Corpse Bone White

Toilet Bowl White

God’s Beard White

Shirako (cod sperm) White

Network Lead’s Smile White

Light At The End Of The Tunnel White

Whites Of His Eyes White

Anemic Ghost Child White

Chantilly Lace

In the end, we decided to go with Chantilly Lace.  But it was close!

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Well, look who it is!  No, no.  The guy BESIDE former Dark Matter Co-Executive Producer Ivon Bartok.  It’s former Stargate/Dark Matter director extraordinaire Will Waring who is in town for the next five months or so working on a big budget horror movie (You know the one).  I expect many more cheeseburgers and lattes with this guy before winter rolls around.

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Noticed this interesting bottle of bourbon at my local LCBO (Liquor Control Board of Ontario) retailing for $387.30!!!  Granted, that’s Canadian, but a quick online search shows this bottle going for roughly $130 US south of the border.  That’s quite the mark-up – and, I suppose, to be expected from one of the most draconian and restrictive government-controlled liquor monopolies in North America.  The selection is poor and you can expect to pay roughly 4 TIMES the original retail price for anything you want to import.  That’s one thing I do miss about Vancouver: their private liquor stores.

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KitKat has a pop-up shop in downtown Toronto.  It’ll be around until the end of the month, offering up unique flavors like Caramel, Popcorn & Almond, Expresso, Cookie & Hazelnut, and the KitKat Ruby made from rare Ruby cocoa beans mixed with the blood of unwary hitchhikers.  They also offer the option of creating your own signature KitKat.  Of course, when we walked by last week, there was a huge line-up.  Here’s hoping that, by this time next week, the locals will have lost interest in the varied exotic flavors, allowing me to sweep in and have my pick of the remaindered selections: Tomato and Feta Cheese in a Delicious White Chocolate Base!

Tomorrow, I am ALL OVER those script and series overview revisions!  Also, some Peking Duck and dim sum!

June 8, 2018: Anthony Bourdain

Very saddened to hear of Anthony Bourdain’s passing.  While I’ve never considered myself a “fan” of celebrities, he was one of the few Akemi and I genuinely loved for his honesty, cutting sense of humor, and the obvious empathy he had for others.

Anthony always had a way with words.  These are my favorite Anthony Bourdain quotes:

“Skills can be taught. Character you either have or you don’t have.”

“And chicken is boring. Chefs see it as a menu item for people who don’t know what they want to eat.”

“I’ve long believed that good food, good eating, is all about risk. Whether we’re talking about unpasteurized Stilton, raw oysters or working for organized crime ‘associates,’ food, for me, has always been an adventure”

“I don’t have to agree with you to like you or respect you.”

“To have a child is to give fate a hostage.”

“Assume the worst. About everybody. But don’t let this poisoned outlook affect your job performance. Let it all roll off your back. Ignore it. Be amused by what you see and suspect. Just because someone you work with is a miserable, treacherous, self-serving, capricious and corrupt asshole shouldn’t prevent you from enjoying their company, working with them or finding them entertaining.”

“A proper saute pan, for instance, should cause serious head injury if brought down hard against someone’s skull. If you have any doubts about which will dent — the victim’s head or your pan — then throw that pan right in the trash.”

“It’s very rarely a good career move to have a conscience.”

“These are the end products of the Masterminds of Safety and Ethics, bulked up on cheese that contains no cheese, chips fried in oil that isn’t really oil, overcooked gray disks of what might once upon a time have been meat, a steady diet of Ho-Hos and muffins, butterless popcorn, sugarless soda, flavorless light beer. A docile, uncomprehending herd, led slowly to a dumb, lingering, and joyless slaughter.”

“The food was what you might expect to find on Air Uganda tourist class:”

“I compared it to taking my first acid trip: Nothing was ever the same for me. I just wanted more of it. If I had to agree to live in one country, or even one city, for the rest of my life, never leaving it, I’d pick Tokyo in a second.”

A sad, sad day.

June 7, 2018: Reviews! Solo: A Star Wars Story! Avengers: Infinity War! That bean recipe!

As my various development projects, I’ve decided to catch up on my movie matinees.

First up was Solo: A Star Wars Story.  As I mentioned in a previous blog post, I got off the Star Wars train partway through Return of the Jedi, right about the second the ewoks danced across the big screen, blindsiding my love for the franchise.  Decades later, I’m reading all sorts of wildly conflicting reviews for the latest installment, Solo.  Some absolutely love it.  Others absolutely hate it.  So, of course, I had to find out for myself.  Akemi passed on accompanying on the grounds that: “Impossible to beat Deadpool.”  True enough.

So, what did I think of Solo?  Well…

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Next up is Avengers: Infinity Wars, a movie I heard very good things about…but wasn’t convinced.  There was a time when I saw every superhero movie ever made – and then, I sat through Avengers: Age of Ultron, a movie that – like Return of the Jedi destroyed my love for Star Wars – it killed my love for comic book movies.  Akemi, who fell asleep during Age of Ultron (Oh, how I envied her), also passed on this screening.

So, what did I think of Infinity War?  Well…

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Finally, thanks to everyone who took the time to upload their advice, condolences, and best wishes on that bean recipe.  After considering all of your great suggestions, we ended up…

Soaking the beans for almost 40 hours, changing the water and giving them a rinse, then boiling on high for 30 minutes.  After that, we added tomatoes, a vidalia onion, two green onions, half a clove of garlic, two bay leaves, thyme, chiles, and a seared smoked pork chop, brought the whole to boil, then let simmer for two hours.  We seasoned with salt and pepper (and, in my base, a sprinkling of powdered ghost pepper/carolina reaper) before serving.  The results?   Deeeeeeeelicious!

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Thanks to all who weighed in.

So, what’re we making/seeing next?

June 6, 2018: Week’s Best Comic Book Covers!

My favorites…

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Batman #48 (cover art by Mikel Janin)

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Black Bolt vol. 2 (cover art by Christian Ward)

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Death Or Glory #2 (cover art by Bengal, Julia Totino Tedesco)

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The Immortal Hulk #1 (cover art by Alex Ross)

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The Beautiful Death vol. 1 (cover art by Mathieu Bablet)

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Weapon X #19 (cover art by Rahzzah)

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Shipwreck #6 (cover art by Phil Hester)

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Jasmine: Crown of Kings #2 (cover art by Deivis Goetten)

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Lady Mechanika vol. 4 (cover art by Joe Benitez)

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Olympus Mons vol. 4 (cover art by Pierre Loyvet)

Which were your favorites?

June 5, 2018: I need you to do me a favor! No, forget I asked! Wait, maybe if you’re willing to hear me out… No, never mind. I’ve already taken up too much of your time. Then again, on the off-chance you can do me this solid…

Okay, guys.  I don’t ask for much.  Maybe the occasional steady commitment to a t.v. series.  Sporadic support for an online campaign.  Help choosing episode titles. But, today, I need you to do me a solid.  I realize it may be a lot to ask and many of you may feel uncomfortable, so, please, don’t feel like you have to respond.

No, forget it.  I’m imposing.  Forget I mentioned it.  I’ll just find a way to muddle through it.

Of course, it would be A LOT easier if one of you were able to help.

But it’s too much to ask.  I’m being a bother.

Then again, I suppose it doesn’t hurt to throw it out there.  Still…

Okay, okay.  I’m going to ask anyway and, if any of you feel I’ve crossed a line, tell me.  Or, better yet, ignore this request.  Delete this blog entry from your consciousness like not so much as any residual memories of Movie 43.  Deal?

Fine.  I’m asking…

Anyone have a good bean recipe?

The last time Akemi made beans, they remained rock solid after some six hours of cooking.  We’re looking at preparing butter beans with smoked pork chops, garlic, and bay leaf.  Mom’s navy bean recipe calls for bringing the beans to a boil, then allowing them to simmer overnight.  Does that sound right to you?  Anyone have experience cooking dried white beans?  Any insider secrets you’d care to impart?

Was that too much?  Did I overstep the bounds of our online friendship?  If so, apologies.  If not, do you think adding salt during the cooking process will harden the beans?

Maybe I should start a patreon for butter bean recipes.

June 4, 2018: Our Favorite YouTubers!

Every night, before Akemi drifts off to sleep (and I read for another two hours before eventually turning in), we like to watch a little something.  Sometimes, it’s one of the food-themed shows on Netflix, or the latest episode of Top Chef.  Most of the time, however, it’s a youtube video or two.  We have a handful of go-to channels.  These are our favorites…

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Mark Wiens (Joined: February 2nd, 2009.  Views: 416,773,985.  Subscribers: 2M)

He’s based in Bangkok, Thailand but travels the world, eating and documenting said eating.  He’s adventurous and, while I’m not entirely convinced I’d want to sample all of the dishes he tries, I admire his willingness to go all in.  His euphoric yummy face is now classic.

Here’s one of my favorite Mark Wiens videos documenting a day long taco tour in Mexico:

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Simon and Martina (Joined: February 1st, 2008.  Views: 418,831,699.  Subscribers: 1.3M)

A couple of fellow Canadians (and Torontonians no less!) document their lives in Japan, covering everything from food to fun.  Akemi is especially fond of their dog Spudgie and cat Meemers.  I, on the other hand, particularly love the relentless undercurrent of competition between the host couple.

Here’s one of my favorite Simon and Martina videos which has it all: the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat, and donuts.

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Guga Foods (Joined: July 30, 2015.  Views: 3,866,258.  Subscribers: 56,144)

I’ve really cut down on my consumption of red meat over the years, but this channel is directly responsible for my recent uptick.  Host Guga, with the help of his assistant Angel (whose assisting really just consists of sampling the final product), grills up variety of top cuts, all the name of research!

Here’s one of my favorite Guga Foods videos in which he puts a variety of steak tenderizing techniques to the test.  Deeeeelicious!

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Sous Vide Everything (Joined: January 20, 2017.  Views: 17,378,506. Subscribers: 175,850)

Another channel hosted by the busy Guga, this one with a focus on sous vide…but again, the star is the meat!  Here, his sounding tasting board is the animated Ninja.

One of my favorite Sous Vide Everything videos is this recent upload in which he surprises Ninja with some Australian wagyu strip loin.  Ninja nearly loses his mind:

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Paolo from TOKYO (Joined: October 23, 2016.  Views: 6,948,301.  Subscribers: 78k)

When I first came across this channel while doing research for a Tokyo trip, I was admittedly on the fence about its very animated host.  But in time, he grew on us. There’s no denying his enthusiasm!

Paolo hits Japan’s most famous fish market in this video, Best 10 Tsukiji Street Food:

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Strip Panel Naked (Joined: June 2, 2016.  Views: 508, 153.  Subscribers: 18k)

A rare non food-related channel, this one dedicated to art of comics.  Out knowledgeable host, Has, offers fascinating breakdowns and analyses of comics and comics art.

Check out his very first offering, a loving study of a 2014 issue of Moon Knight:

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Seto Koji (Joined: April 9, 2010.  Views: 708,409,871.  Subscribers: 1.4M)

Finally, Akemi’s favorite is this Japanese youtuber who covers just about everything that catches his interest.  Akemi finds him absolutely endearing.

Pressed for her favorite video, she agonized for a while, and finally settled on this one in which our affable host checks out bespoke online shop Zozotown:

So, what are we missing out on?

June 3, 2018: Movie Matinees!

This month, we’ll be doing the slow move into our new place.  Tomorrow, the cable guy comes by – between the hours of noon and 5 p.m. – during which I’ll be sitting on the floor, hopefully completing the rewrite on this series overview.  And maybe reading another book.  Tuesday, it’s the cleaners after which (and outstanding rewrites notwithstanding) I am free and clear.  I’m thinking of catching up on some movies by taking in a few matinees.  Recently saw Deadpool 2 with Akemi who absolutely LOVED IT, and I’m wondering if we can repeat that magic with another recent release.  Probably not, but I’m curious nonetheless…

Solo: A Star Wars Story –  Full disclosure = I loved the original Star Wars movie.  As  a kid, I must have seen it at least a dozen time in theaters. Empire Strikes Back blew my mind.  It was perfection.  And then, halfway through Return of the Jedi, the ewoks came prancing across the big screen and effectively destroyed my love for the franchise.  Heard not good things about The Phantom Menace and skipped it.  Accidentally went to see Attack of the Clones and wished I’d missed that, but the experience ensured I’d miss Revenge of the Sith. Considered going to see The Force Awakens but heard it was just a reboot of the original.  Didn’t see The Last Jedi.  Which brings us to Solo: A Star Wars Story. The reviews have been mixed but, from what I’ve heard, the reasons a lot of people love it leads me to believe I would love it too.  Conversely, the reasons a lot of people hate it also leads me to believe I might just hate it too.  Well, there’s only one way to find out.  I have no doubt that, regardless of how amazing the visual effects, how awesome the performances, how spectacular the stunts – it will, for me, as always, come down to the script.  Does the story make sense?  Are the characters believable?  Is the dialogue any good?  I’ll submit my review later this week.

Avengers: Infinity War – Man, as a kid who grew up reading comics – and The Avengers in particular – there was nothing I loved more than a good comic book movie.  Of course, actual good comic book movies are few and far between, but that never stopped me from seeing them.  Until, of course, Avengers: Age of Ultron came along.  I don’t think I’ve ever hated a superhero movie more.  Sitting through it was like watching somebody else plays video games for three and a half hour.  Thirty minutes in, I turned around to explain the plot to Akemi and discovered her curled up in her seat, fast asleep.  That movie nearly killed my love for the genre and, in fact, it was years until I actually sat down and watched another superhero movie (Deadpool, which I loved and then, most recently, Logan and Black Panther, which also pleasantly surprised).  While I’ll probably never get around to Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice in this lifetime, I have heard good things about Spider-Man: Homecoming, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and Wonder Woman so they sit on standby pending my Infinity War experience.

Isle of Dogs – I didn’t realize until somebody pointed it out – Isle of Dogs = I love dogs!  And I do, but the lack of any pug or french bulldog representation relegated this one to a strong “maybe”.  It looks a little weird (which, admittedly, could end up delightful or annoying as hell), but since it’s still playing, I might just check it out.

You Were Never Really Here – When I first saw the trailers for this brutal-looking movie, I was all in and patiently awaited its release – only to eventually discover said release was surprisingly limited.  It’s like that Vince Vaughn prison movie I heard great things about that snuck in, hung around for a few days, then disappeared before I could see it.  Well, fortunately, You Were Never Really Here is still playing – at one theater near me.  My desire to see it has, however, been somewhat tempered by a friend who informed me “It’s really art house.” in a way one might warn against reuniting with an old friend who had lost their mind.

Hereditary – I love me a good horror film and my matinee screenings have proven surprisingly rewarding in that respect: The Quiet Place, Green Room, The Babadook, It Follows, Get Out.  The only thing that gives me pause is all the buzz this movie has been receiving, with some proclaiming it one of the scariest films ever.  Whenever superlatives like this are thrown around, I’m inevitably disappointed – so I’m expecting to be pleasantly surprised.

2001: A Space Odyssey – “To celebrate the 50th anniversary of Stanley Kubrick’s 1968 sci-fi masterpiece, TIFF Bell Lightbox screens a 70mm print struck from new printing elements of the original camera negative. This is a true photochemical film recreation, with no digital tricks or remastered effects — the unrestored film as experienced by audiences 50 years ago.”  I’m in!

Anything else I’ve missed or should be looking forward to?  Do tell.

June 2, 2018: Recommended Recent Reads!

Something for almost everyone.

A few of my favorite recent reads…

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We’ll Fly Away by Bryan Bliss [2018 RELEASE]

Luke feels like he’s been looking after Toby his entire life. He patches Toby up when Toby’s father, a drunk and a petty criminal, beats on him, he gives him a place to stay, and he diffuses the situation at school when wise-cracking Toby inevitably gets into fights. Someday, Luke and Toby will leave this small town, riding the tails of Luke’s wrestling scholarship, and never look back.

But during their senior year, they begin to drift apart. Luke is dealing with his unreliable mother and her new boyfriend. And Toby unwittingly begins to get drawn into his father’s world, and falls for an older woman. All their long-held dreams seem to be unraveling. Tense and emotional, this heartbreaking novel explores family, abuse, sex, love, friendship, and the lengths a person will go to protect the people they love.

The friendship at the heart of this book is so poignant, so real, that it’s impossible to resist a full emotional investment in these characters and the supporting players who orbit their lives. Roughly 170 books into 2018 and I already know that this will be one of this year’s Top3 when all is said and done. A great, great book.

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Blood of Assassins by R.J. Barker [2018 RELEASE]

The assassin Girton Club-foot and his master have returned to Maniyadoc in hope of finding sanctuary, but death, as always, dogs Girton’s heels. The place he knew no longer exists.

War rages across Maniyadoc, with three kings claiming the same crown – and one of them is Girton’s old friend Rufra. Girton finds himself hurrying to uncover a plot to murder Rufra on what should be the day of the king’s greatest victory. But while Girton deals with threats inside and outside Rufra’s war encampment, he can’t help wondering if his greatest enemy hides beneath his own skin.

The second book in R.J. Barker’s The Wounded Kingdom series and the follow-up to his phenomenal debut, The Age of Assassins, continues the story of assassin Girton Club-foot and his pivotal role at the heart of conflict that sees three kings vying for a single crown. It’s an engaging character-driven narrative studded with brutal battle scenes and an underlying whodunit mystery genuinely surprises.

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The Bomb Maker by Thomas Perry [2018 RELEASE]

A threat is called into the LAPD Bomb Squad and when tragedy ensues, the fragmented unit turns to Dick Stahl, a former Bomb Squad commander who now operates his own private security company. Just returned from a tough job in Mexico, Stahl is at first reluctant to accept the offer, but his sense of duty to the technicians he trained is too strong to turn it down. On his first day back at the head of the squad, Stahl’s three-person team is dispatched to a suspected car bomb. And it quickly becomes clear to him that they are dealing with an unusual mastermind–one whose intended target seems to be the Bomb Squad itself.

The tension ratchets up to a full 10 within the first few pages and then maintains this relentless level of suspense throughout the books’ near 400 page run. Authorities seek to identify a serial who is targeting the LAPD’s bomb squad with increasingly elaborate explosive traps. Once you start reading, it’s near impossible to put down.

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Police At The Station And They Don’t Look Friendly by Adrian McKinty

Belfast 1988: A man is found dead, killed with a bolt from a crossbow in front of his house. This is no hunting accident. But uncovering who is responsible for the murder will take Detective Sean Duffy down his most dangerous road yet, a road that leads to a lonely clearing on a high bog where three masked gunmen will force Duffy to dig his own grave.

Hunted by forces unknown, threatened by Internal Affairs, and with his relationship on the rocks, Duffy will need all his wits to get out of this investigation in one piece.

The crossbow murder of a small-time drug dealer in 1980’s Belfast sets Catholic Detective Sean Duffy on a perilous, conspiracy-laden investigation involving the IRA, long-buried secrets, twists, turns, and more than a few surprises. A crackerjack thriller with heart and humor. My only regret is not having discovered Adrian McKinty, and this series, sooner – an oversight I deem to rectify over the coming months.

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The Queen of Crows by Myke Cole [2018 RELEASE]

In this epic fantasy sequel, Heloise stands tall against overwhelming odds–crippling injuries, religious tyrants–and continues her journey from obscurity to greateness with the help of alchemically-empowered armor and an unbreakable spirit.

No longer just a shell-shocked girl, she is now a figure of revolution whose cause grows ever stronger. But the time for hiding underground is over. Heloise must face the tyrannical Order and lay siege to the Imperial Palace itself.

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An American Marriage by Tayari Jones [2018 RELEASE]

Newlyweds Celestial and Roy are the embodiment of both the American Dream and the New South. He is a young executive, and she is an artist on the brink of an exciting career. But as they settle into the routine of their life together, they are ripped apart by circumstances neither could have imagined. Roy is arrested and sentenced to twelve years for a crime Celestial knows he didn’t commit. Though fiercely independent, Celestial finds herself bereft and unmoored, taking comfort in Andre, her childhood friend, and best man at their wedding. As Roy’s time in prison passes, she is unable to hold on to the love that has been her center. After five years, Roy’s conviction is suddenly overturned, and he returns to Atlanta ready to resume their life together.

An exceptionally honest exploration of a relationship complicated by a twelve year prison sentence meted out to an innocent man. Well-written, character-driven drama full of anguish and humor and hope whose only misstep is an in-prison twist that feels unearned and all too convenient in stark contrast to this otherwise grounded book.

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The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver

The Poisonwood Bible is a story told by the wife and four daughters of Nathan Price, a fierce, evangelical Baptist who takes his family and mission to the Belgian Congo in 1959. They carry with them everything they believe they will need from home, but soon find that all of it — from garden seeds to Scripture — is calamitously transformed on African soil. What follows is a suspenseful epic of one family’s tragic undoing and remarkable reconstruction over the course of three decades in postcolonial Africa.

An emotionally exhausting but incredibly rewarding read about a missionary family’s experience in late 1950’s Congo.

June 1, 2018: Let’s decompress!

Well, it’s been a frustrating 48 hours where practically everything that could have gone wrong did – or came pretty damn close.  The final straw was the closing on our new place which the seller’s lawyer dragged out until five minutes before they were official in breech, thus ensuring I wouldn’t be able to get the place cleaned or internet installed until after this weekend.  Thanks a lot.

On the other hand, there were a few bright spots…

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Finally tried Halo Top’s birthday cake flavor and I must admit it’s probably my favorite of their entire line.  It perfectly captures that grocery chain fakey vanilla cake and icing flavor.  And I mean that in the best way possible.

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Oooh, check out the ships adorning the Scotiabank Theatre where Akemi and I took in Deadpool 2 the other day.  I enjoyed it, but preferred the original.  Akemi absolutely loved it and can’t stop talking about it.

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Check out this interesting piece of artwork.

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Swing by Le Gourmand on Spadina Ave. for their frozen custard accompanied by a piece of their city-best chocolate chip cookie.  Wash it down with a hot mocha.

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Thanks to Dark Matter fan D. Dolphin for this veritable treasure trove of hot sauces.  Looks like I’ve got my work cut out for me this summer.

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Also included in the swag box, a strawberry hat for Akemi that fits Lulu just fine.

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Also, a pug-themed winter hat for Akemi that shall henceforth be known as “Joe’s thinking cap”.

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Hmmmm.  Thoughts…

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I lose Akemi to King Street’s new abacus art installation.

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Finally – Happy National Doughnut Day!  I celebrated by swinging by Krispy Kreme to purchase an original glazed only to learn they were giving them away for free! What a time to be alive!