Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 271

July 13, 2018: Project Updates!

Over the past several months, I’ve had multiple projects on the go.  A number have fallen by the wayside, leaving me with about a half dozen serious contenders…

Project A: As I mentioned last week, this sci-fi series is a go.  I’ve started the creative ball rolling with series creator, discussing series, seasonal, and character arcs, technology, the pilot, plot developments, and reveals.  Also, have discussed brass tacks production issues, everything from standing sets to visual effects, casting to scheduling.  If everything falls into place next week, I’d like to start assembling the writers’ room with an eye to an initial two-week gathering to discuss broad stroke creative issues and break the first episode, then a lengthier period to break the rest of the season.

Project B: Received broadcaster notes on the pilot and bible for this sci-fi project.  Great input and I don’t foresee any problem addressing the network requests/concerns.  Hoping to have the polish delivered before month’s end.

Project C: Delivered a revised bible and pilot breakdown for this horror series last week and now impatiently await a green light on the script.  If I don’t hear anything by Monday, I’ll follow up with an email on Tuesday.

Project D: At this point in time, I really thought we’d be much further along on the the planned adaptation of this horror novel.  If the paperwork on the option is nailed down by next week, I fear scheduling conflicts may well force me to miss the boat on this one.

Project E: I pitched a production company five original ideas.  They’ve picked one they’d like me to develop for them.  Which one?  I find out on Tuesday when I go to lunch with two of the company executives.

Project F+: Yesterday, I sat down with an artist.  The day before, I spoke to my former writing partner about a possible collaboration.  I’m circling three comic book companies: Image (from an ownership standpoint, tough to beat their deal), Dark Horse (we have a pre-existing relationship), Vault (I hear great things about them from other writers).  Very excited about this one.

Projects Miscellaneous: I’m not going to bother giving them an alphabetical designation until things start to solidify on these various pitches, takes, and preliminary discussions.  But who knows?

July 12, 2018: Two Guys Eating Classic Candy!

Really, these videos speak for themselves.  I got together with my buddy Ivon and we spent an afternoon sampling classic chips, chocolate, and candy.  By the time we were done, I was exhausted and ready for bed.

At 4:00 p.m.

The chips…

The chocolates…

The candy…

 

July 11, 2018: Best Comic Book Covers of the Week!

These were my favorites…

[image error]

Domino #4 (cover art by Greg Land)

[image error]

Jirni Vol. 3, #5 (cover art by Michael Santamaria, John Starr)

[image error]

The New Mutants: Dead Souls #5 (cover art by Ryan Stegman)

[image error]

Old Man Logan Vol. 7: Scarlet Samurai (cover art by Mukesh Singh)

[image error]

Star Wars: Doctor Aphra Vol. 3: Remastered (cover art by Ashley Witter)

[image error]

The Dead Hand #4 (cover art by Jordie Bellaire)

And which were your favorites?

July 10, 2018: On meteor and lightning strikes and lottery wins!

My father was a student of the lottery.  Growing up, I remember him sitting in the kitchen every night, assiduously reviewing data amassed from years of weekly draws, every set of winning numbers carefully transcribed in a  set of dedicated books.  He would pore over these like a cryptanalysist seeking out hidden patterns, looking to identify elusive numerical biases.  When he passed away, among the things he bequeathed his loved ones was a set of lottery numbers my sister has since played on a dedicated weekly basis going on thirteen years now (along with a second set of potential winners that, mysteriously, came to ME in a dream some five years back).

I remember working on a show many, many years ago when, during a snack break between scenes, I got into a conversation about sin taxes – taxes on alcohol and cigarettes.  “How about a tax on stupid people?”offered the office P.A.  “They already have one,”replied the first A.D.  “It’s called the lottery.”

According to “the experts”, the chances of your winning the lottery are significantly longer than the likelihood of you:

Being killed by a meteor!

Being struck by lightning – twice!

Winning an Olympic gold medal!

Which is incredibly sobering and all until, really, you stop and ask yourself: When was the last time you heard of someone being killed by a meteor?  Or being struck by lightning twice?  Compare this to the number of times you’ve heard a lottery winner announced.  Also, I don’t have the statistics at hand, but if one were to tally up all of the Olympic gold medal winners and all of the big prize lottery winners over, say, the last fifty years, I’d hazard that the number of lottery winners is more than “slightly higher”.

Hey, that’s not to say playing the lottery is a smart move.  The odds against you are astronomical (though, clearly, much better than being killed by a meteor, winning an Olympic gold medal, or being struck by lightning – twice).  Someone once said: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”  And, while I think the clinical definition of insanity differs somewhat, I can see the logic in this.  Why would you keep playing the lottery if you never won?

Why was my father so captivated by the lottery that it became an almost obsessive hobby for him, keeping such meticulous logs, studying past winning number combinations with a single-minded commitment usually reserved for cancer research?  In short, why did my dad keep playing the lottery? Oh, that’s easy. Because he won.  Once.  And I’m not talking a free ticket or a couple of hundred bucks.  It wasn’t much in today’s dollars but, back then, it was twice what he and my mother had paid for their first home.  They used the money to pay off their mortgage, clear their debts, and set aside a modest sum for a rainy day.

For one crazy draw, he defied those seemingly insurmountable odds.  And then tried to do it again because, I suppose, statistically, you have no less of a chance of winning a second lottery than you would a first.

As for me, I’m not much of a lottery guy, preferring to pay the equally long odds of trying to land a t.v. show.  Still, whenever I see the grand prize inch past 50 million, I am tempted.  After all, I may not know any gold medal champions, but I have first-hand knowledge of at least one lotto victor.

Over to you…

Congratulations, you’ve won the lottery!  What will you do with your winnings?

July 9, 2018: Photobucket Finds – Stargate: Atlantis Edition!

I happened across the photobucket website earlier today and recalled “Hey, I think I actually had a bunch of videos uploaded there at one point.”  After several failed attempts, I finally succeeded in haphazardly inputting the correct password and – voila!  I was greeted with a slew of poor quality videos dating back from days on the Stargate.  Here are a few for posterity’s sake (or, if you prefer, as one of my ex-girlfriend’s used to say “For prosperity’s sake”):

SGA “The Last Man”.  The sand in the sandstorm was actually powdered oatmeal.

Real sand would have hurt more.  And been harder to clean up.

Wraith loose on the lot!

SGA “The Last Man”.  The Keller-McKay walk and talk was shot right outside The Bridge Studios lot.

Good times.  Good times.

July 8, 2018: More Terrifying than Horrifying!

[image error]

At the end of every season, there was one thing I especially looked forward to.  In addition to the wrap party.  I refer, of course, to the annual focus group research packages that neatly summed up the likes and dislikes of a very small sampling of our overall audience.  From what I could tell, the methodology involved gathering viewer opinions via online questionnaire, engaging roughly 1000 respondents, about 200 of who actually watched our show (I was always quick to point out that they could gather a broader sampling by simply hitting up twitter, but my suggestion went largely ignored).  Their answers were carefully tallied up and revealed in colorful fashion: pages of graphs, percentage tallies, multi-colored boxes, and venn diagrams.  The result were distilled into a cover summary that would offer helpful direction for the next season.  Thanks to these surveys, for example, we learned –

Our series regulars and likable characters, TWO and the Android chiefest among them, were the most popular while the character of the lecherous/murderous Wexler – who at the time had appeared in all of two episodes – was decidedly less popular.  Hell, I would even go so far as to describe him as “unpopular”.  Perhaps not surprisingly, Alicia Reynaud, who also appeared in all of two episodes, was not a fan favorite either.

On the one hand, audiences really enjoyed the complexity of the season 2 storylines but, on the other hand, they found a lot of the second season storylines too complex.  They also simultaneously loved the show’s unpredictable twists and turns yet found these twists and turns somewhat predictable.  They loved the fact that the season was action-driven and exciting, however they were disappointed in the slow pacing.  They preferred instances in which the crew worked together as a team over technical explanations of space travel.

My favorite takeaways, however, were the conclusions that derived from cherry-picked responses and contextless feedback.  For instance, audiences were asked to rate the importance of certain aspects of the show, say: relationships, space battles, and fight sequences.  Relationships were of the greatest importance with space battles coming in second and fight sequences in third place.  “See!”I’d be told.  “Audiences don’t care about fight sequences!”

Another great example was “the great Android voice debate”.  Amidst all the feedback we received on the show’s first season was some criticism of the Android’s voice as a handful respondents found it lacked the authority of classic android’s of yore.  I guess.  So a request was made to make sure the Android spoke in a more authoritative manner in season 2.  My response: “GTFO!”.  Never mind the fact that the Android character ranked either #1 or #2 in popularity across most categories, why the hell would you change a beloved character midstream?  It’s not as if people who weren’t watching the show were going to see a preview and say: “Holy shit!  That android character speaks with authority!  I’m going to start watching this show!”   More likely, fans of the Android will watch and wonder: “What the fuck did they do to the Android?”

It was on the heels of one of these yearly cross-network fact-finding summations that I found myself at a nameless network, looking to pitch.  I sat down and started to roll into my first show, a horror-comedy in the spirit of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  “Look, I’m going to have to stop you right there,”said the senior executive in the room.  “We’ve found that our audience doesn’t respond well to horror so horror is definitely not something we’re looking for.  No horror.”  As I shifted gears to my next pitch, the junior started talking about one of their upcoming new productions, a monster-themed show with, uh, comedic elements. “It’s great,”he enthused.  “It’s alternately terrifying and horrifying.”  And then, catching a look from the senior executive, he quickly added: “But more terrifying than horrifying.”

Uh, right.

7 Great Movie Endings Demolished By Test Audiences

July 7, 2018: A Trip Down Memory/Candy Lane!

Yesterday, my buddy Ivon and I started reminiscing about the stuff we used to eat growing up – chocolates, candies, weird slushy-like beverages sold in blood bag-like containers accompanied by straws so sharp they could be used as weapons. So, today, we decided to check out one of Toronto’s premiere shops for classic treats, and then some: Sweet Addictions Candy Co on Dundas Street West.

We must have circled the aisles a half-dozen times, recognizing old favorites, noting new offerings, and filling our handy shopping basket as we went.  By the time we were done, THIS was our haul…

[image error]

We headed back to Ivon’s place where we proceeded to sample everything we’d bought while Akemi filmed our reactions (Video presently being edited.  Stay tuned!).  We divided our sugar and salt buffet into three categories –

CHIPS

The chicken tikka masala chips certainly tasted like chicken tikka masala, but not a very good version in my opinion.  Although I had high hopes for the cheese fondue, we both gave it a thumbs down as we were expecting more of a cheddar flavor and got blue cheese instead.  The Burts’ Guinness were some mighty fine chips – thick cut and crunchy – that, unfortunately, didn’t really taste much like Guinness. Finally, the Combos 7 Layer Dip Tortilla tasted very much like 7 layer dip tortilla, particularly the gross sour cream topping I hate so much.  Unlike me, Ivon was a huge fan and I’m sure won’t have any problem finishing off the bag for dinner.

CHOCOLATES

Boy, I have fond memories of the Flake chocolate bars I used to eat for lunch in my youth, easily accessible and delicious mini-meals readily available at the chocolate warehouse my buddy Cas and I would clean on weekends.  And, I must say, they’re just as good as they ever were.  Another winner was the Zero bar, winning points for taste and texture (although Ivon preferred the milk chocolate).  They’re somewhat reminiscent of those weirdly delicious Icy Squares we’d get every Christmas.  The peanut butter Kit Kat was fine, though it gets points for offering a touch of salt to balance the sweet.  The Snickers white was equally fine, but I can’t help but think it would have been improved with a battering and deep-frying. Finally, that Oogoo bar?  Where have you been all my life?

CANDIES

I’ve never been a fan of sour candies, but I had to get the SweeTarts because, well, they take me back – yet they’ve still to win me over.  Nerds, on the other hand, were surprisingly good, bursting with berry flavor the package claims is artificial-free…but I remain unconvinced.  Ivon swore by the Pink Candy Popcorn when he was a kid but, apparently, has outgrown these stale circus offerings.  Pop Rocks, on the other hand, remain as awesome as ever – an effervescent, snap-crackle-popping treat.  Showing equal staying power was Bottle Caps.  Although the size and shape of the caps has changed, the root beer version is as good as ever, and the cola possibly even better!  Not as much love from for the Haribo Happy Cola gummies that I found so tough to chew my jaw was already sore thirty seconds in. Finally, the Fun Dip.  In retrospect, it’s more about the experience of dipping the stick in the various powdered flavors – and that’s just as fun as it ever was.  The butter rum Lifesavers were a list second impulse buy – and one of the only items I actually kept for myself once we were done.  I’m a lifelong fan.  Ivon isn’t.

GUM

What the hell happened to Gold Mine Nugget Bubble Gum?  For some reason, I remember it being closer to gold in color than the present canary yellow.  I also don’t recall it tasting like medicinal banana syrup.  Not good.  Thrills, on the other hand, has not changed much (and whether that’s a positive or negative really depends on your take on this weird rosewater-based gum).  In fact, the packaging proudly proclaims “It still tastes like soap!”  That it does, that it does.  “It’s the cilantro of gum!”according to Ivon.

By the time we were done, I was thoroughly exhausted and, to be honest, ready for bed.

At 4:00 p.m.

Next week, we’re going to put a half dozen of Toronto’s best burgers to the test!

And, on a totally unrelated note, you can actually order one of these on Amazon –

[image error]

July 6, 2018: Making the comic book move!

My credits include:

400+ hours of produced television

100+ hours as a writer

100+ hours as a showrunner

But two of my greatest accomplishments remain:

My contribution, “Downfall”, to the Lou Anders-edited superhero-themed anthology Masked

[image error]

And the four issue Dark Matter comic book for Dark Horse Comics

[image error]

As much as I love television, I love comic books even more for the freedom they allow a creator to tell a complete story, uncompromised by budgetary constraints or executive interference.

For some time now, I’ve been sitting on a few original ideas.  Three years ago, I would have gone out and pitched them to broadcasters and production companies, looked to secure a development deal, been paid handsomely to write a bible and accompanying overview, pitched, and hoped it I would get the opportunity to produce a television show based on those original concepts.  Today, I’m less inclined to do so because, to be honest, the lure of actually being able to tell a full story, from beginning to end, outweighs the attraction of development work and the gamble on a prospective pick-up.

Sure, in the case of Dark Matter, it was the best of both worlds – a comic book AND an ensuing t.v. series.  But for me, right now, the endgame is an awesome comic book series (or two, or three, depending on which get the green light) that will, in at least a couple of instances, fill that Dark Matter-sized hole in your hearts.

First things first though.  I need an artist, preferably one with experience, who’d be interested in collaborating on a sci-fi comic book series.

Let’s discuss.

I’m still going to continue my t.v. work, follow through on the various projects in play – the sci-fi series, that horror novel adaptation (deal pending), that small town horror series (overview delivered, pilot script up next), that sci-fi series (doing a polish on the pilot next week), and the drama pilot (just optioned) – but I just really want to tell some amazing stories.  And I can think of no better, and no more satisfying, medium than comic books.

Stay tuned!

Today’s blog entry is dedicated to the memory of The Amazing Steve Ditko.

[image error]

July 5, 2018: All in!

Okay.  I’ve pulled the trigger.  I’m all in.  Next up, the negotiations.  Meanwhile, I’ve already started discussions about series structure with the show’s insanely talented creator.  Good good guy.  You’re gonna love him.

In answer to the obvious question – Yes, sci-fi, but very different from the type of shows I’ve worked on in the past.  Very exciting.

If all goes as planned, we should convene the writer’s room in early August after which it’ll be smoooooooooth sailing!

This is definitely going to put a crimp in my record-setting reading pace.

Oh, thanks to everyone asking about the move.  We’re all settled in.  Akemi successfully assembled both the bar and bar cart.  By the time the book and liquor shelving arrive in 5-6 weeks, I’ll have all 65 bottles of whiskey on display. Meanwhile, we accepted delivery of the new coffee table, bar stools, dining room chairs, and living room couch (albeit with the wrong legs).  Once we get a t.v. in here for moderate background noise, it’ll truly feel like home.

[image error]

The dogs, meanwhile, are already fully settled.  Lulu has already claimed the couch (with the wrong legs) as her own.

[image error]

But that sunny spot by the window remains a favorite.

[image error]

Suji meanwhile, not quite as chill, too a little longer to adapt.  Pictured above facing one of her many existential moments.

[image error]

The nice thing is we’re now only a short 5 minute walk from my favorite place with the fancy coffees.  Pictured above, me on a date with my gal.

Tomorrow, it’s lunch with former Dark Matter Visual Effects Supervisor Lawren Bancroft-Wilson, possibly an anime matinee, some more research for this upcoming project.  Official news to come…

July 4, 2018: Week’s Best Comic Book Covers!

These were the ones that caught my eye…

[image error]

Astonishing X-Men #13 (cover art by Greg Land)

[image error]

Batman #50 (cover art by Mikel Janin)

[image error]

Captain America #1 (cover art by Alex Ross)

[image error]

Catwoman #1 (cover art by Laura Allred, Joelle Jones)

[image error]

Death of the Inhumans #1 (cover art by Kaare Kyle Andrews)

[image error]

Spawn #287 (cover art by Jason Shawn Alexander)

[image error]

Star Wars #50 (cover art by Travis Charest)

[image error]

Star Wars: The Last Jedi #4 (cover art by Rahzzah)

[image error]

Weapon X #20 (cover art by Rahzzah)

So, which ones caught your eye?