Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 216

December 26, 2019: Happy Boxing Day! Get out there and fight, fight, fight!

Guys, if there is one thing I absolutely must do in 2020, it’s curb my pistachio cream consumption. It’s really getting out of hand!

Mallozzi’s.

Akemi doing the chipmunk thing.

Lulu

Sujiko

And Christmas dinner.

Alright horror aficionados, it’s time for another round of Guess the Horror Movie by its Tagline. This time, it’s the Super Difficult Edition!

1 – What you can’t see won’t hurt you…it’ll kill you!

2 – John will never eat shish-kebab again.

3 – Get lost in these woods and you’re dead meat.

4 – Misery loves company.

5 – You have the right to remain silent. Forever.

6 – Today the pond! Tomorrow the world!

7 – In space, no one can eat ice cream.

8 – Take the stairs. Take the stairs. For God’s sake, take the stairs!!!

9 – It’s cheaper than a chainsaw.

10 – Fear is a place.

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Published on December 26, 2019 09:02

December 25, 2019: Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all!

At some point late last night, Akemi decided the guest room we were sleeping in was too cold for her, so she moved to the second guest room. It wasn’t until 6:00 a.m. that Suji realized she was missing – at which point she freaked out, in turn freaking Lulu out. They would NOT go back to sleep and so I had to get up just before daybreak on Christmas morning – like the parent of an actual kid.

Mom’s apple pie…

And the proper way to eat it…

Nothing goes hand in hand like Christmas and horror so, today, I present the next round of our Guess the Horror Movie by its Tagline – Difficult Edition!

1 – If only they knew she had the power.

2 – Your luck just ran out.

3 – She breathes, sees, hears, walks…but can she love?

4 -Once you see it, you can never forget. Once it sees you, you can never escape.

5 – Ding dong. You’re dead.

6 – …and remember, the next scream you hear may be your own.

7 – There are some very good reasons to be afraid…of the dark.

8 – If you’re not back by midnight…you won’t be coming home.

9 – Some towns should never be entered.

10 – In their world, adults are not allowed…to live.

Congrats to Paul Tarnecki for correctly guessing 10/10 in our last round. Next time we cross paths, horror movie is on me!

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Published on December 25, 2019 11:41

December 24, 2019: Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all!

At some point late last night, Akemi decided the guest room we were sleeping in was too cold for her, so she moved to the second guest room. It wasn’t until 6:00 a.m. that Suji realized she was missing – at which point she freaked out, in turn freaking Lulu out. They would NOT go back to sleep and so I had to get up just before daybreak on Christmas morning – like the parent of an actual kid.

Mom’s apple pie…

And the proper way to eat it…

Nothing goes hand in hand like Christmas and horror so, today, I present the next round of our Guess the Horror Movie by its Tagline – Difficult Edition!

1 – If only they knew she had the power.

2 – Your luck just ran out.

3 – She breathes, sees, hears, walks…but can she love?

4 -Once you see it, you can never forget. Once it sees you, you can never escape.

5 – Ding dong. You’re dead.

6 – …and remember, the next scream you hear may be your own.

7 – There are some very good reasons to be afraid…of the dark.

8 – If you’re not back by midnight…you won’t be coming home.

9 – Some towns should never be entered.

10 – In their world, adults are not allowed…to live.

Congrats to Paul Tarnecki for correctly guessing 10/10 in our last round. Next time we cross paths, horror movie is on me!

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Published on December 25, 2019 11:41

December 24, 2019: Merry Christmas Eve! Guess the horror movie by its tagline – moderate edition!

Merry Christmas Eve from mom. Here, have some Christmas cookies.

December 23 2019: Road Trip! Guess the horror tagline!

336.5 miles, 74 kpop songs, and one prosciutto, lettuce and tomato sandwich later, we arrived in Montreal. The dogs were a little edgy for the first two hours until they presumably realized were not, in fact, going to the visit the vet – at which point they kicked back and snoozed through the remainder of the trip. No hiccups along the way (outside of Akemi forgetting her toothbrush), but I was concerned by the car’s initial reluctance to recognize the keyless remote, seemingly grudgingly coming around on the fifth attempt. I’m hoping the battery lasts long enough to get us home next week!

This Christmas, it’s mom, sis, Akemi, and I…and six dogs. Lulu, our frenchie, is super chill and gets along with everyone. Suji, our senior pug rescue, is super high-strung and gets along with no one – with the exception of Lulu. Was kind of hoping she’d try to be nice, show a little bit of the Christmas spirit, but this seems unlikely.

In response to blog regular Fuchsia’s request, here are 10 horror movie taglines. This time, you’ll have to guess the movies.

Ready? Go!

1 – We dare you to say his name five times.

2 – Check in. Relax. Take a shower.

3 – If Nancy doesn’t wake up screaming, she won’t wake up at all…

4 -Don’t answer the phone. Don’t open the door. Don’t try to escape. Someone has taken their love of scary movies one step too far.

5 – The night HE came home.

6 – They’re here.

7 – All work and no play make Jack a dull boy.

8 – Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.

9 – This doll is killer.

10 – Don’t get him wet, keep him out of bright light, and never feed him after midnight.

This is the easy version. Let’s see how you do on these before we graduate to the more challenging level.

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Published on December 23, 2019 13:26

December 22, 2019: Suji Sunday!

Blergh!

Do you wanna build a snowman?

Sunday sisters.

Lulu in action.

Flaps down! Prepare for take-off!

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Published on December 22, 2019 12:14

Top 10 Movie Taglines

Bonnie and Clyde

“They’re young, they’re in love, and they kill people.”

Napoleon Dynamite

“He’s out to prove he’s got nothing to prove”

Grosse Pointe Blank

“Even a hitman deserves a second shot.”

Edward Scissorhands

“His story will touch you even though he can’t.”

Ghostbusters

“Who you gonna call?”

I Am Legend

“The last man on Earth is not alone.”

Jaws 2

“Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water.”

Star Wars

“A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…”

Alien

“In Space, no-one can hear you scream.”

Superman

“You’ll believe a man can fly.”

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Published on December 21, 2019 16:18

Top 10 Sci-Fi Shows That Must Return in 2020-2021!

Dark Matter would, of course, be top of the list – but in the interest of being as objective as possible, I will exclude my own (albeit well-deserving) show.

#10. Sliders

What a terrific concept for a sci-fi series. The possibilities are as endless as the parallel worlds in our multiverse.

#9. Logan’s Run

I’ve been hearing rumors of a big screen reboot for some time but so far…nothing. Still, think it has the legs for a series revamp.

#8. Space: Above and Beyond

Love me some military sci-fi.

#7. The Starlost

Not exactly a classic but certainly a fantastic premise involving an ark ship so vast it would take our heroes seasons to fully explore.

#6. The Outer Limits

Sure, Black Mirror is a sci-fi anthology, but its stories are decidedly more near-fi and very much grounded in the world of today and next week. I want a sci-fi anthology that explores the worlds of the far future.

#5. Farscape

I miss the tone of this most lunatic of sci-fi shows.

#4. Space Battleship Yamato

An under appreciated classic chock full of colorful characters, action, and oodles of space battles.

#3. Space: 1999

Okay, okay. The whole rogue moon angle is a little suspect. Still, I loved this show growing up and believe it’s ripe for a return.

#2. Blake’s 7

One of the early inspirations for Dark Matter. The original rogues in space.

#1. Stargate

Finally – this one’s so painfully obvious, I’m continually amazed that a streamer or broadcaster has yet to dial the gate once again.

So, what’d I miss?

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Published on December 20, 2019 18:28

December 19, 2019: Congratulations. The rest of you made the team! Except you, you, and you.

This was much of my day today –

Well, that and preparing my bank statements and taxes for my year end. Oh, and eating a sandwich with extra avocado because we’re heading out of town on Monday and need to finish them before we go. But mostly cutting. And blocking. And muting.

The upcoming holidays will also give me some time to reconsider a few of the potential projects on my plate – and do a little more cutting. I’ve been approached to develop no less than four different properties with an eye to pitching them in early 2020 – and while all four are interesting, I can’t possibly develop all four. Or, frankly, three for that matter. Not with the second script for TimEscape and that horror feature on deck which are, of course a priority.

As if I didn’t have enough to do, I’m considering taking an online course on the basics of Artificial Intelligence being offered by the Finnish government. No kidding!

Finland is making its online AI crash course free to the world

Elements of A.I.

Who’s in?

In preparation for the drive to Montreal, I have lined up 45 hours of Japanese audio lessons as well as topped up my ultimate kpop playlist to 10 hours of uninterrupted tunes. Granted, it should only take us about 5 hours to get there, but who knows? We could hit holiday traffic.

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Published on December 19, 2019 17:41