Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 145

October 31, 2021

October 31, 2021: Suji Sunday!

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Settling down for her afternoon couch nap.

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The pre-walk check-out.  Looking good!

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Mid-massage.

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In our matching sweaters.

Carpet run…

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Published on October 31, 2021 09:09

October 30, 2021

Spooktacular Halloween Hacks!

Make Halloween extra special with these Halloween Hacks!


Halloween Tip #11
Roast leeks with a touch of oil and salt, then oven dry and hand out to the kids for a healthy alternative to delicious chocolate. pic.twitter.com/HgKWi9ft4j


— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) September 28, 2021



Halloween Tip #57
Learn a simple "trick" you can perform when prompted. Explain how you have met the requirements of the trick OR treat request, then send them off, poorer in candy but richer in a basic understanding of contractual obligation. #HalloweenHack #HalloweenHacks


— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) September 28, 2021



Halloween Tip #36
Canned oysters are a unique and economical alternative to pricey candy. Distribute on toothpicks (One per customer!) and satisfy the entire block with just a single tin. #HalloweenHack #HalloweenHacks pic.twitter.com/z26mm9kqqE


— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) September 28, 2021



Halloween Tip #7
Often, turning out the lights and not answering the doorbell will not be enough to convince the more determined of trick-or-treaters. Lie flat on the floor and avoid any movements that may tip them off of your presence.#HalloweenHack #HalloweenHacks


— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) September 28, 2021



Halloween Tip #19
Pick up fortune cookies and distribute the fortunes for an atypical Halloween treat.
But just the fortunes as extricating them would require you to unseal the wrappers, and no parent is going to let their kid eat unwrapped cookies. #HalloweenHack #HalloweenHacks pic.twitter.com/g7zXS1Wz0j


— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) September 29, 2021



Halloween Tip #23
Create your own spooky DIY haunted house using cotton ball cobwebs, vampire bat cut-outs, and leftover cadavers from your local university's med program.#HalloweenHack #HalloweenHacks


— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) September 28, 2021



Halloween Tip #71
Challenge kids to identify a character from a seminal work of horror by a single quote or woodcut. Winners get rewarded; losers go home empty-handed.
Suggestions: Vathek, The Monk, or The Mysteries of Udolpho. #HalloweenHack #HalloweenHacks pic.twitter.com/VssEtejb93


— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) September 29, 2021



Halloween Tip #22
Chocolate production contributes to climate change, CO2 emissions, and deforestation. This year, consider handing out carbon credits instead.#HallowweenHack #HalloweenHacks


— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) September 29, 2021



Halloween Tip #31
This year, reward trick-or-treaters with the magical gift of mesophilic and thermophilic bacteria.#HalloweenHack #HalloweenHacks pic.twitter.com/vb1NIjY1Zq


— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) October 3, 2021



Halloween Tip #9
Paint eggshells in spooky motifs and distribute as a nutritious, protein-rich alternative to candy.
Make sure the eggs are hardboiled to ensure easier clean-up once the kids get through with your house.#HalloweenHack #HalloweenHacks


— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) September 29, 2021



Halloween Tip #19
Help trick-or-treaters stave off the late October chills with a warming pousse-café. Equal parts brandy, green chartreuse, white creme de menthe, creme de Yvette, yellow chartreuse and grenadine.#HalloweenHack #HalloweenHacks pic.twitter.com/Vckx7XmGwy


— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) October 3, 2021



Halloween Tip #44
Answer the door as Dracula. Convince the kids you're the real deal by dressing the part and speaking in fluent Romanian. Prepare an elaborate backstory covering the last seven centuries should they have any follow-up questions.#HalloweenHack #HalloweenHacks pic.twitter.com/jBFMAlucQY


— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) October 10, 2021



Halloween Tip #62
Glue dry pasta onto paper plates, then spray paint and distribute to trick-or-treaters. Gold plates for best costumes! Silver plates for second place! And bronze participation plates for the lazy shits who just mailed it in! #HalloweenHack #HalloweenHacks pic.twitter.com/kRV2tqx7su


— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) October 14, 2021


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Published on October 30, 2021 11:48

October 29, 2021

October 29, 2021: That’s a wrap on this week!

What are some of the best horror movies you’ve seen in recent memory?  I’m thinking of doing a Halloween marathon.

Today was a writing and research day.  Tomorrow will be the same, but will have the added bonus of a long overdue zoom chat with one of my very favorite writers, Carl Binder!  The last time I saw him was in the Dark Matter season 4 writers’ room.  He delivered a terrific time travel episode that I am gutted we never got the opportunity to bring you.

Today’s Yes/No…


Ghost Burger? Yes/Nohttps://t.co/899icR5qjX


— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) October 29, 2021


I say Sure, why not?

From the Stargate vault…

1aseason5ep20

1aseason5ep22

1bseason5ep20

1bseason5ep22

1eseason5ep22

1season5ep21 2eseason5ep22 2season5ep21

Creepy, no?

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Published on October 29, 2021 15:02

October 28, 2021

October 28, 2021: Things are moving along nicely!


Huh look at this little guy that showed up in my inbox. @BaronDestructo pic.twitter.com/1YbbpCo6gH


— Brian McClellan (@BrianTMcClellan) October 27, 2021



It's super good.


— Brian McClellan (@BrianTMcClellan) October 28, 2021


Exciting, no?

Received a great set of notes on the draft so I’ll be spending the next few days on rewrites and aim to have the new and improved Promise of Blood pilot out by mid next week at the latest.

Meanwhile…


Today I'm chatting with actor @ranthonylemke for Page Break! Anything you'd like to hear us discuss?


— Brian McClellan (@BrianTMcClellan) October 27, 2021


The interview should be out in a few weeks.  In the meantime, dreamcast your favorite Dark Matter cast members in The Powder Mage Trilogy.


Um…..well…. pic.twitter.com/kCfkeyRSum


— 𝘿𝘼𝙍𝙏𝙃 𝙋𝙍𝘼𝙓𝙄𝙎 (@PraxisDarth) October 28, 2021



Interesting… https://t.co/u6z95pzr5M


— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) October 28, 2021


No reason.

Last night’s line-up.  Pick your poison…

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This was our eighth boozy soiree in which we sampled another seven different bottles.  And every night, we pick our favorite.  Last night’s winner was the Koval oat (with the Four Roses a close second).  I think we have enough for another three sessions after which we move on to the Battle of Champions!


Is there a pug-themed crypto coin into which I can invest my hard-earned savings?


— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) October 28, 2021


If SpankChain, CumRocket, and Hamster Coin are a thing, we can definitely launch a Suji Coin.

Today’s Yes/No…


Extra Spicy Rice Burger? Yes/No
McDonald’s Japan asks that you please be careful with its new extra-spicy rice burger https://t.co/bUYDN0uZbi via @RocketNews24En


— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) October 28, 2021


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Published on October 28, 2021 19:28

October 27, 2021

October 27, 2021: Amazing Covers!

A few that caught my eye…

1-30

Moths #5 – cover art by Mike Choi

1-31

Spider-Woman #16 – cover art by Jung Guen-Yoon

1-32

Time Before Time #6 – cover art by Declan Shalvey

1-33

King Spawn #3 – cover art by Jonathan Glapion

1-34

M.O.M.: Mother of Madness #3 – cover art by Leila Leiz

1-35

Star Wars: Darth Vader #17 – cover art by Aaron Kuder

So which were YOUR favorites?

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Published on October 27, 2021 11:20

October 26, 2021

October 26, 2021: Annual Check-Up Day!

I slept fitfully last night (as is the custom whenever I have to wake up for an early appointment the following morning), waking up at 4:00 a.m. and then trying to fall back asleep for another two hours before giving up and getting up.  Today, of course, was the day of our annual check-ups and Akemi and I left home before the sun had even risen, stomachs empty (for the blood test!) but bladders fit to burst (in preparation for our ultrasounds, although mine was delayed by approximately an hour after the staff fell behind schedule, leaving me to squirm uncomfortably in my chair while an upbeat Akemi – first up! – breezed through her appointments).

The ultrasound portion of my visit always makes me nervous, especially when the technician spends what I feel to be an inordinately long time in one section, say the gallbladder.  My concern is compounded whenever they squint at the screen and offer that quizzical “That can’t be right.” look.  Whenever this happens, I try to lighten the mood with chitchat that is really more of a test to see if they engage in a jovial manner (Nothing to worry about) or deflect and refuse to engage (This is no laughing matter).  Today’s techie was a hard read.

The doctor tested my shoulder, had me run through a series of moves – none of which I could accomplish – and informed me I had a partially torn rotator cuff.  Physio is in the cards.

Following a battery of tests, we saved the best for last: the EKG that involves me running on a treadmill at an impossible incline while a machine records the electric signals from my heart and monitors for “issues”.  Last time I did this, I was informed there was a slight irregularity that was really no cause for concern,  This time, I was informed there was a slightly more defined irregularity that was really no cause for concern – but they were going to send me out for an echocardiogram all the same.  It will involve me running on an impossible incline while a machine records the electric signals from my heart and monitors for “issues” AND something called a transducer measures my heart muscles and valves.  The doctor reassured me it was probably nothing, but my family history of heart issues, and the fact that I was exposed to a fair amount of second hand smoke growing up makes him feel the precaution is warranted.  Hopefully the echocardiogram gives me the all clear and I can redirect focus to other non-health-related worries like writing and fantasy football.  IF, on the other hand, the echocardiogram results prove problematic, next up is the angiogram (aka nuclear test) that involves me being injected with radioactive dye which, to be honest, doesn’t sound all that safe.  But, of course, I’m not a medical professional.

Once done, we went out for lunch.  Akemi had soup.  And I had a schnitzel sandwich.

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Published on October 26, 2021 13:45

October 25, 2021

October 25, 2021: Tomorrow, I’ll be poked, prodded, tested, and have my diet critiqued by a nutritionist.

This morning, I completed what I’m calling the “One Step Removed From the Polish” draft of my sci-fi/kpop mash-up for that big production company – streamlining, gamifying, adding a few more fun visuals and characters beats, and front loading a few of the surprise reveals into the pilot.  One in particular will have viewers catching their breath – if all the pieces fall into place of course.

With that out of the way, I’ll be switching gears to jump on the second draft of the Promise of Blood (Powder Mage Trilogy) pilot,  Some great notes from JB, Jamie and the gang.  Hopefully, I’ll have it done by week’s end.

And with those two out of the way for the time being – and a rare window of opportunity while I await the go-ahead on a few other projects – I’ve decided to finally sit down and write the feature that’s been rattling around in my head for over a year.  But before setting pen to paper (or, more appropriately, finger to keyboard), I’m going to need to do a little research by immersing myself in movies set in the 1930’s.  On my short list: Of Mice and Men, Places in the Heart, Bonnie and Clyde, Paper Moon, Road to Perdition, Chinatown, The Sting, The Grapes of Wrath, Oh Brother Where Art Thou?, Thieves Like Us, Murder Inc., Miller’s Crossing, Mildred Pierce, Kansas City, Emperor of the North, Dogville, King of the Hill, Lawless.

Your suggestions most welcome.

Really NOT looking forward to tomorrow, the day of my full annual physical.  Starting at 7:15 a.m.(!) and over the course of three and half hours, I’ll be poked, prodded, tested, and have my diet critiqued by a nutritionist.  I’ll get an ultrasound, an EKG, run full tilt on a treadmill for twenty minutes, then undergo a series of flexibility tests (spoiler alert: which I will all fail miserably) prompting the kinesiologist to send me home with some suggested daily exercises (spoilers alert: which I will never do).   Maybe I’ll even solicit an opinion on my frozen shoulder.  Once done, I’ll go return home where I’ll stew and worry as I await the results of my blood panel and urinalysis, wondering if this is the year my blood sugar and cholesterol levels catch up with me.  As is the custom the night before, I had oatmeal for dinner which, of course, prompted  Akemi to accuse me of trying to game the system – or, to be more specific, the blood analysis (spoiler alert: It won’t).

Today’s Yes/No…


Mustard Drinks? Yes/Nohttps://t.co/RvdNuafknF


— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) October 25, 2021


And while we’re on the topic of mustard…

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Published on October 25, 2021 14:54

October 24, 2021

October 24, 2021: Suji Sunday!

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Hmph!

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Hanging in the lobby.

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Blaaargh!

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That hopeful look in her eyes.

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Deni’s sushi card checks out.

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That just-woke-up face.

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Battle stance!

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Published on October 24, 2021 09:28

October 23, 2021

October 23, 2021: The Saturday Brief!

I’m thinking of getting back into the matinee swing of things.  There’s nothing I like more than taking in a midday movie in an almost empty theater.  Hard to believe it’s been over two years since the last time.  I want to go back but… is there anything worth seeing?  Do tell.

Today’s Yes/No….


Tropicana Toothpaste? Yes/Nohttps://t.co/gp9w2Y9Obq


— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) October 23, 2021


Tam Dixon was somewhat prescient with this comment: “I used a rowing machine once. I must have used it wrong because I could barely move the next day.”  I practically had to crawl out of bed this morning after last night’s rowing machine workout.  And then, of course, because of a small fire in the building, I had to carry Suji up and down eight flights for her afternoon walk.  On the bright side, the lower back pain distracts me from my frozen shoulder.

I completed my pre-polish pass on the pilot of Fronted, my SF/Kpop mash-up.   I’ll go over it once more tomorrow, then deliver it Monday after which I will switch gears and do a pass on the Promise of Blood (Powder Mage) pilot.  Then, as I await word on the other projects in play, I’m thinking of actually starting work on a feature I’ve had rattling around in my head for the better part of a year.  I’ve already done a scene breakdown.  Now, all I need to do is write it.  Smooooooooth sailing, right?

So, what does your Sunday look like?

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Published on October 23, 2021 16:58

October 23, 2021: Then Saturday Brief!

I’m thinking of getting back into the matinee swing of things.  There’s nothing I like more than taking in a midday movie in an almost empty theater.  Hard to believe it’s been over two years since the last time.  I want to go back but… is there anything worth seeing?  Do tell.

Today’s Yes/No….


Tropicana Toothpaste? Yes/Nohttps://t.co/gp9w2Y9Obq


— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) October 23, 2021


Tam Dixon was somewhat prescient with this comment: “I used a rowing machine once. I must have used it wrong because I could barely move the next day.”  I practically had to crawl out of bed this morning after last night’s rowing machine workout.  And then, of course, because of a small fire in the building, I had to carry Suji up and down eight flights for her afternoon walk.  On the bright side, the lower back pain distracts me from my frozen shoulder.

I completed my pre-polish pass on the pilot of Fronted, my SF/Kpop mash-up.   I’ll go over it once more tomorrow, then deliver it Monday after which I will switch gears and do a pass on the Promise of Blood (Powder Mage) pilot.  Then, as I await word on the other projects in play, I’m thinking of actually starting work on a feature I’ve had rattling around in my head for the better part of a year.  I’ve already done a scene breakdown.  Now, all I need to do is write it.  Smooooooooth sailing, right?

So, what does your Sunday look like?

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Published on October 23, 2021 16:58

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