Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 119

August 29, 2022: Your Handy Guide to Weird Yokai!

The Ashiarai Yashiki manifests as a giant filthy foot that crashes through the roofs of homes, demanding to be cleaned. Refuse and it will stomp through your house, destroying everything in its path – and possibly cursing you for good measure.

When an orb-weaver spider reaches its 400th birthday, it is rewarded with a massive growth spurt, shape-shifting abilities, and a hunger for human flesh, becoming a Jorogumo. It often takes the form of a beautiful woman in order to entice and trap unwary young men – its favorite snack!

The Boroboroton is a vengeful Japanese futon, its anger fueled by years of neglect and underuse. It seeks retribution against those who did it wrong, floating around the house at night, smothering and strangling unwary sleepers – when it isn’t out partying with other Boroboroton.

The raven-haired, alabaster-skinned Yuki onna stalk snowstorms in search of prey, flash-freezing their victims before devouring them (They’re especially fond of children’s livers!). Occasionally, however, they may fall in love with and even marry a human.

One tale tells of a man that married a mysterious women who always refused to take hot baths. One night, after much insistence from her husband, she relented. When her husband came in to check on her later, however, all he found were ice cubes floating in the tub.

The Nuppeppo are amorphous blobs with rudimentary limbs and vague faces that frequents graveyards and abandoned temples. Harmless but stinky, they smell like rotten meat and are surprisingly elusive. Their flesh purportedly bestows eternal youth on those who can stomach it.

The Konaki jiji takes the form of a baby or old man, lying in wait for unwary travelers and then crying out on their approach. Should you be foolish enough to try to help by picking it up, it will abruptly grow incredibly heavy and crush you under its weight. Sucker!

Today’s Yes/No…

Tsukimi Sandwich? Yes/No
Autumn is on the way, and that means it’s time for fried chicken fried egg sandwiches in Japan https://t.co/V9RAyFY3fs via @RocketNews24En

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) August 29, 2022

A rare no for me.  Just give me a fried chicken sandwich!

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August 28, 2022: Suji Sunday!

Out and about with her friend, Lambchop.

A pug with a sense of humor.

Comfy.

Mowing the lawn.

Her serious look.

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August 27, 2022: The Horror Marathon continues with three more movies – and some cheese-stuffed cherry poppers!

Errementari: The Blacksmith and the Devil (2017)

A quiet village is thrown into turmoil upon disturbing a reclusive and feared blacksmith rumored to be in league with the devil.

Thoughts: Despite the over-the-top performances and at times clunky script, this one is wildly inventive in its mix of mythology and horror. It’s visually unique but, at times, has the feel of a very elaborate stage production.

3.5/5

The Empty Man (2020)

On the trail of a missing girl, an ex-cop comes across a secretive group attempting to summon a terrifying supernatural entity.

Thoughts: A little bit of Himalayan The Ruins off the top, a little bit of Candy Man in the middle, and a lot of Rosemary’s Baby meets The Sentinel at the end. Also, 30 minutes too long.

3/5

The Feast (2021)

Filmed in Welsh, the picture follows a young woman serving privileged guests at a dinner party in a remote house in rural Wales. The assembled guests do not realize they are about to eat their last supper.

The film’s austere style is impressive from a visual standpoint, but it yields a stark and frustratingly slow narrative that fails to engage despite its grisly, at times unintentionally silly, cross dissolve-laden third act.

3/5

Today’s not so horrific Yes/No…

Cheese-stuffed Cherry Poppers? Yes/Nohttps://t.co/moWl1gK6jy

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) August 27, 2022

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August 26, 2022: From here on in, it’s smoooooooth sailing!

Huzzah!  Success!  After much pacing, nighttime tossing and turning, and general racking of brain, I finally have a beat sheet for that android-themed mystery series.  The hard part his over.  Now, all that remains to be done is the outline, a first draft, a second draft, a polish, a pitch deck, a sale, development of the first season, the writing of the first season episodes, prep, production and post – the easy stuff!

Tomorrow (Saturday) night will mark two full weeks without dessert!  That’s no chocolate, no cream buns, and no pistachio patisserie for 14 straight days!  How do I feel?  Absolutely no different although Akemi claims I’ve been more irritable of late but, in all fairness, that could be due to my work on beating out this new script (which is, in my opinion, the most frustrating part of the whole t.v.-making process).  Anyway, with two weeks under my belt and absolutely no discernible health benefits either mental or physical, I intend to reward my 14-day Spartan diet with a little something – a square of Ecuadorian 72%, or maybe a pint of Haagen-Dazs.  I’ll play it by ear.

Awww, this is nice.  Long-time Stargate fan Irena (of Stargate Europe fame – @Irena_SG on twitter) is in town with husband Dieter.  We met up for coffee (actually, unsweetened matcha for me) and dessert (cinnamon rolls for them).  Great to finally put a face to a twitter account.  Tomorrow, they check out Fan Expo after which they’ll be taking to the train cross-country to Vancouver for Gatecon.  Lucky!

Okay, now a wacky one!

Today’s Yes/No.  Beat the summer heat with…

The Cold Dog? Yes/No https://t.co/AIqKHsK2sg

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) August 26, 2022

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August 25, 2022: The Thursday Report!

Started work on my android-themed pilot.  You guys are gonna love it!

Guys! I'm freaking out! pic.twitter.com/qLwNnnQSP5

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) August 25, 2022

We also follow each other on telegram!

Catch it while you can!

Dark Matter leaving Netflix in September, 2022

September 25th is the show’s last day on Netflix.  It leaves Canadian Netflix in August of 2023, so Canadian fans get a bit of a reprieve.

No idea where it ends up next, but now would be the time to catch up if you haven’t already watched all three seasons!

Never experienced this in Japan, but it looks kinda squishy…

Seibu Shinjuku Line rush hour in Japan pic.twitter.com/8QMjPkmvZH

— Tansu YEĞEN (@TansuYegen) August 25, 2022

And this one’s kinda creepy…

The misconception that there is no sound in space originates because most space is a ~vacuum, providing no way for sound waves to travel. A galaxy cluster has so much gas that we've picked up actual sound. Here it's amplified, and mixed with other data, to hear a black hole! pic.twitter.com/RobcZs7F9e

— NASA Exoplanets (@NASAExoplanets) August 21, 2022

I’ve got Cinnabar, Vivanite, Galeena, and Malachite in the Final Four!

THE BRACKET IS READY!!

After recruiting #MinCup21’s strongest contenders & pouring through your nominations, we have our lineup for #MinCup22.

Voting starts September 1st! pic.twitter.com/9lZ3JcYtwd

— Mineral Cup #MinCup (@MineralCup) August 23, 2022

Today’s Yes/No…

Unatama Egg Sandwich? Yes/No
For me – yes, but minus the egg.
Eggslut adds a whole ass eel to a new sandwich in Japan https://t.co/4TAld9r2UU via @RocketNews24En

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) August 25, 2022

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August 24, 2022: Amazing Covers!

A few that caught my eye this week…

Genis-Vell: Captain Marvel #2 – cover art by Phil Noto

Star Wars: Darth Vader #26 – cover art by Alex Maleev

Pantha #4 – cover art by Jorge Fornes

Sheena: Queen of the Jungle #8 – cover art by Arthur Suydam

Tales of the Human Target #1 – cover art by Greg Smallwood

So, which were your favorites?

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August 23, 2022: Your handy guide to weird yokai!

Makuragaeshi are Japanese child ghosts that haunt rooms at night, flipping pillows and, occasionally, people. Their more malevolent versions sit on their victim’s chest while they sleep, squeezing the air from their lungs.

Tofu Yozo are yokai, Japanese spirits, that take the form of the young tofu-selling boys of the Edo period. They may, on occasion, follow people home on rainy nights.
Timid and weak, they are often bullied by their fellow spirits, thus establishing them as the original soy boys.

The Aka manto is a ghost or serial killer that stalks school bathrooms. If a student uses the cursed 4th stall, he’ll discover it out of toilet paper. Suddenly, a voice will ask him to choose between red paper or blue. If he chooses red, he will be slashed to bloody ribbons.
The next student to use the cursed 4th stall will be presented with the same choice between: “Red or blue toilet paper”. Aware of the fate of the last student, she’ll choose blue – at which point all the blood will be drained from her body, leaving her a dead, blue corpse.

The akaname are yokai, Japanese spirits, that visit bathrooms at night, making use of their sticky tongues to lick the filth off the floor, bathtubs, and toilets. They are disease-carriers and can make you very sick – BUT they can be avoided by keeping a clean bathroom!

The Kuchisake-onna appears as a masked woman who asks: “Am I pretty?”
Answer no, and she’ll brutally kill you.
Answer yes, and she’ll remove her mask to reveal her hideous ear to ear grin. “Am I pretty?”she’ll ask again.
Answer no, and she’ll brutally kill you.
Answer yes, and she’ll let you go.
Then follows you home and brutally kill you.

Get the fuck out of here with your cakey brownies!

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) August 22, 2022

Today’s Yes/No…

Caramel Popcorn Soda?
Discount vending machine in Japan serves up Caramel Popcorn Soda https://t.co/BpwBWeYNch via @RocketNews24En

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) August 23, 2022

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August 22, 2022: The Horror Marathon continues with Swans, Censors, Demons and a really sketchy-looking ice cream!

Black Swan (2010)

A committed dancer struggles to maintain her sanity after winning the lead role in a production of Tchaikovsky’s “Swan Lake”.

Thoughts: Overwrought, pretentious and surprisingly unsubtle in its thematic execution. The horror elements are cliched and, at times, unintentionally hilarious. Also, men are the worst, amiright?

3/5

Censor (2021)

After viewing a strangely familiar video nasty, Enid, a film censor, sets out to solve the past mystery of her sister’s disappearance, embarking on a quest that dissolves the line between fiction and reality.

Thoughts: A terrific tribute to 80’s British horror that nails the feel of the video nasties as it blurs the lines between fantasy and reality. Conceptually and aesthetically brilliant, but the final twist feels wanting without an emotional trigger that precipates Enid’s descent.

4/5

Demon (2016)

A bridegroom is possessed by an unquiet spirit in the midst of his own wedding celebration, in this clever take on the Jewish legend of the dybbuk.

Thoughts: Somber and spooky, the suspense builds beautifully in its exploration of cultural horror before diffusing in its final act, leaving us with an ambiguous, intriguing, somewhat frustrating ending.

4/5

Today’s Yes/No…

Ice cream with dried fish and scotch bonnet chiles? Yes/No
Thanks(?) to @Hadel for the tip!
Don't knock it 'til you try it, says Cape Town creamery https://t.co/VOLJUXO6sb via @CNNTravel

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) August 22, 2022

That’s a no from this guy.

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August 21, 2022: Suji Sunday!

13lb Suji meets a 250lb leonberger.  I’m sure she thinks she could take him.

Suji photobombs the flower.

Bubbie photobombs Suji.

Suji greets Bubbie…

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A post shared by YozoI'm Sujiすじ子 (@newoldpugsuji)

Off-roading.

Part of her intense workout regimen…

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A post shared by YozoI'm Sujiすじ子 (@newoldpugsuji)

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August 20, 2022: So much stuff!

I think we can all agree that everyone makes mistakes, and can learn from those mistakes. That people evolve and that every deserves a second chance. No one is irredeemable.
Except people we dislike here on twitter. They're beyond redemption.

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) August 20, 2022

I think I’m going to start profiling the more unusual yoke (Japanese folklore spirits) –

Makuragaeshi are Japanese child ghosts that haunt rooms at night, flipping pillows and, occasionally, people. Their more malevolent versions sit on their victim's chest while they sleep, squeezing the air from their lungs. pic.twitter.com/LHeHphyrwJ

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) August 20, 2022

Tofu Yozo are yokai, Japanese spirits, that take the form of the young tofu-selling boys of the Edo period. They may, on occasion, follow people home on rainy nights.
Timid and weak, they are often bullied by their fellow spirits, thus establishing them as the original soy boys. pic.twitter.com/nHbtYGykCB

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) August 20, 2022

This seems like a lot…

That's…a lot of pollen. https://t.co/GvE3lTfOuT

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) August 19, 2022

A treasure trove from the Stargate wardrobe departments….

Today’s Yes/No…

Yakisoba Dog? Yes/No
Why doesn’t every Japanese bakery sell this amazing anime-only bread we just made?【SoraKitchen】 https://t.co/ZMz8sXSN38 via @RocketNews24En

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) August 20, 2022

 

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