Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 122

July 30, 2022: Montreal will have to wait!

The plan was to be in Montreal for my sister’s birthday weekend, but mom coming down with covid has forced me to switch things up.  Looks like it’ll be a birthday call instead and a rescheduled visit next weekend.

So rather than traveling, I spent the better part of yesterday and today rewriting that feature script that my American agent feels will have a hard time finding a home.  Given that’ the case, I’ve decided to give it a home myself.  I have a director, a lead, a line producer, and a crew in mind.  I’m going to go down the self-financing route and see if I can produce this small film myself.  Will keep you posted!

Also took time today to see  my buddy, Steve Bacic (of Stargate, Big Love and, apparently, Supernatural fame) who was in town doing a convention and MC’ing a karaoke event.

Great catch-up over sushi and salad.

Meanwhile, on the investment front…

I’m considering diversifying my portfolio into bullshit renewables since that’s where governments are looking to burn taxpayer money.
Recommend me some cream of the crap!

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) July 30, 2022

Today’s Yes/No…

Ice Cream Curry Ramen? Yes/No
Menya Musashi adds ice cream to curry ramen to make the perfect summer dish https://t.co/quKMeoSxXI via @RocketNews24En

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) July 30, 2022

This is my favorite preparation of this dish –

A chef with absolutely no fucks to give.  “You want ice cream in your ramen?!  HERE’S your fucking ice cream ramen!”

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July 29, 2022: The Horror Marathon continues!

Cam (2018)

When her account is stolen by a look-alike, a cam girl sets out to unmask the mysterious woman and get her identity back.

Thoughts: A surprisingly smart psychological thriller that explores our disturbingly vulnerable online lives.

4/5

Daniel Isn’t Real (2019)

A troubled college freshman, Luke, suffers a violent family trauma. He then resurrects his charismatic childhood imaginary friend Daniel to help him cope, not realizing how dangerous Daniel is.

Thoughts: An uninspired take on a well-trodden premise. Has a real MOW feel.

2.5/5

Eden Lake (2008)

A young couple on a romantic weekend break at a remote lakehouse, are terrorised by a group of vicious delinquents.

Thoughts: A disquieting thriller that does a great job of conveying the evil inherent in children. And also – in the grand tradition of most horror movies – the disastrous consequences of dumb decisions.

3.5/5

Winner = Cam!

Today’s Yes/No…

Raw Egg on Rice? Yes/No
We found the prettiest TKG ever at a restaurant specializing in raw eggs on rice in Tokyo https://t.co/rX0TlHsHU5 via @RocketNews24En

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) July 29, 2022

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July 28, 2022: Meanwhile on the home front!

Man vs fly…

Akemi’s pal, Woody…

PSA’s of yore.  They don’t make ’em like they used to!

Another classic MADD PSA. In the extended cut, Best Friend waves up at window and shouts: “I borrowed $20 from your wallet for condoms! I left your change on the night stand!”

In the spirit of the cronut, I've invented a chrysanthemum croissant which I am calling The Croissanthemum! pic.twitter.com/5Fw9PIrTf0

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) July 28, 2022

Today’s Yes/No…

Mint Chocolate-Flavored Fried Chicken Dip? Yes/No
KFC Introduces Blue Mint Chocolate-Flavored Dip for Its Fried Chicken https://t.co/hgkPtQH05r

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) July 28, 2022

Possibly the very worst to date.

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July 27, 2022: Amazing Covers!

A few that caught my eye this week…

Jennifer Blood #10 – cover art by Tim Bradstreet

Vampirella: Year One #1 – cover art by Ergün Gündüz

Genis-Vell: Captain Marvel #1 – cover art by Juni Ba

Star Wars: Doctor Aphra #22 – cover art by W. Scott Forbes

The Amazing Spider-Man #6 – cover art by John Cassaday

The Amazing Spider-Man #6 – cover art by Humberto Ramos

The Variants #2 – cover art by Phil Noto

Something is Killing the Children #25 – cover art by Jenny Frison

Batman: Fortress #3 – cover art by Mico Suayan

Deathstroke Inc. #11 – cover art by Francesco Mattina

Swamp Thing #15 – cover art by Charlie Adlard

Spawn: The Scorched #8 – cover art by Puppeteer Lee

Vampire Macabre: Halloween Special – cover art by Aly Fell

Wrong Earth: Meat – cover art by Jamal Igle

So, which were YOUR favorites?

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July 26, 2022: Stargate fans assemble!

Tomorrow marks the 25th anniversary of Stargate: SG-1.  To celebrate, fandom will be gathering on twitter for a #WeWantStargate tweet storm.  If you’re in the neighborhood, drop on by!

For better or worse? I'm afraid to read the article to find out.
Study: Having just 4 drinks a week changes your brain https://t.co/uyeon5ZvGK via @seattletimes

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) July 26, 2022

Suji puts in 4 appearances in this Dodo senior pug video.  Can you spot them all?

Cool!

Digital painting art… Perfecto! pic.twitter.com/fRLJKM1PrO

— Figen (@TheFigen) July 25, 2022

Today’s Yes/No…

Spreadable French Toast? Yes/No
New spreadable French Toast from Japan is a game-changer https://t.co/wkkOWV4Ai3 via @RocketNews24En

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) July 26, 2022

 

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July 25, 2022: The Horror Marathon continues with The Good, The Great, and the Not-So-Good!

The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)

A coroner and his son conduct an autopsy on a beautiful `Jane Doe’ murder victim, and find increasingly bizarre clues.

Thoughts: A well-directed little chiller that makes the most of its single location setting, offering up some fresh scars amid the viscera and standard horror tropes.

4/5

Atterados/Terrified (2017)

Paranormal researchers investigate strange events in a neighbourhood in Buenos Aires.

Thoughts: Ho-ly! This one doesn’t pull any punches, delivering some great jump scares in a shocker that dares go where most Western horror fears to tread.

4.5/5

Black Box (2020)

After losing his wife and his memory in a car accident, a single father undergoes an agonizing experimental treatment that causes him to question who he really is.

Thoughts: An interesting sci-fi idea undermined by a clunky script and performances. Like an episode of the 1985 Twilight Zone reboot that didn’t quite make the cut.  Not really horror but should, nevertheless, come with a “precocious kid” warning.

Today’s Yes/No…

Jalapeño Ice Cream? Yes/No pic.twitter.com/mBmqusrkYB

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) July 25, 2022

I’m actually more intrigued by the prospect of a Tabasco ice cream than a jalapeño ice cream.

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July 24, 2022: Suji Sunday!

Aloha

Ready to chow down.

Goofy

Saying “Aaaaaahhhhh”

Off to the races.

Flower child.

Powering through physio…

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by YozoI'm Sujiすじ子 (@newoldpugsuji)

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July 23, 2020: What is more horrific – these movies or this Velveeta martini?

The Deeper You Dig (2019)

The line between the living and the dead collapses after a roadside accident.

Thoughts: Despite the obvious budgetary constraints, this film offers an interesting and, at times, unique take on ghostly revenge, but it is hampered by odd directorial choices and uneven performances.

2.5/5

A Quiet Place II (2020)

Forced to venture into the unknown, the Abbott family realizes the creatures that hunt by sound are not the only threats lurking beyond the sand path.

Thoughts: A worthy successor to the original that opens up the world, but at the cost of the suspenseful sense of isolation established in the first movie.  Like the first movie though, I find the creatures with the bladed limbs kind of silly.

3.5/5

Don’t Breathe (2016)
Hoping to walk away with a massive fortune, a trio of thieves break into the house of a blind man who isn’t as helpless as he seems.

Thoughts: A pretty good spin on the house-invasion-thriller, with some well-sustained suspense ramping up to a weird third act twist.

4/5

Today’s Yes/No…

Velveeta Martini? Yes/No
Not gonna lie. I'm intrigued.
Velveeta Releases Cheese-Infused Martini That's Garnished with Pasta Shells https://t.co/ikdEEbGZtp

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) July 23, 2022

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July 22, 2022: Like the Stone Soup folk tale but with more drinking!

This was the (mostly) all-Japanese lineup for Wednesday’s Whiskey night, ultimately just a portion of my vast booze library.  Akemi thinks there’s a teachable moment in the tale of how I amassed my collection, a powerful lesson for kids everywhere.  When Dark Matter went into production, Paul and I were each gifted a bottle of high-end whiskey.  Paul brought his back to his hotel and drank it over the course of a week in the spirit of the cliche anguished artist while I elected to share my bottle with the gang in the office.  Line Producer Norman Denver reciprocated the gesture by bringing in his own contribution – a Lagavulin 16.  Soon, others began to contribute as well – directors, AD’s, cast and guest stars.  We would gather every day at the sound of the Wolf Call (so-named because Norman would signal the daily gathering of the Whiskey club with a wolf howl over the office speakers).  We averaged 13 bottles of whiskey a season, one for each episode produced.  Even so, when the show was unceremoniously turfed by Syfy, the library had grown to almost a hundred bottles – that I ended up inheriting, bringing them back to my place for safekeeping in preparation for the possible Dark Matter miniseries that would see our modest club reconvene once again.

It’s sort of like the classic Stone Soup folk tale, but with more drinking.  Inspiring, no?

Ah, this takes me back.  “Who’s Hootie now?”

Speaking of Stargate –

I’ve completed a rewrite of the re-re-re-revision of the pilot for my SF/Kpop mash-up.  Will do another pass this weekend, get some notes and do another pass before sending it on its way for notes – and possibly another pass.  Meanwhile, Episode 2 awaits.

Today’s Yes/No…

Bacon and Egg Katsudon? Yes/No
Katsudon for breakfast? Japan’s new bacon egg cutlet bowl may be the only meal we need all day https://t.co/PMPBRB06Bf via @RocketNews24En

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) July 22, 2022

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July 21, 2022: The Horror Marathon continues!

The Void (2017)

Cloaked, cult-like figures trap a police officer (Aaron Poole), patients and staffers inside a hospital that is a gateway to evil.

Thoughts: Hokey and confusing.  The practical effects are solid, but the grotesqueries and gruesomeness are, ultimately, more silly than scary.

2.5/5

The Strangers (2008)

A young couple staying in an isolated vacation home are terrorized by three unknown assailants.

Thoughts: Some great suspense and scares in this home invasion thriller that, unfortunately, hinges on the contrived inability to place a 911 call – and the killer’s unlikely confidence that this is the case. P.S. Keep those cell phones charged!

3.5/5

The Loved Ones (2009)

When Brent turns down his classmate Lola’s invitation to the prom, she concocts a wildly violent plan for revenge.

Thoughts: I really wanted to like this one, but its fantastic premise is completely undone by villains so over-the-top that the silliness overwhelms the scares.

2.5/5

Today’s Yes/No…

Tailgate-flavored Candy Corn? Yes/No
Brach's released Tailgate-flavored candy corn and we're wondering: What's in the hot dogs? https://t.co/EzJPWLpx3H

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) July 21, 2022

My favorite flavor = diesel exhaust!

 

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