Mette Ivie Harrison's Blog, page 94
March 29, 2011
The Line Is Not Moving--and other lessons for writers from X-Factor auditions
The X-Factor for Writers
Step 1 Getting there
Whatever it is that makes you believe you have what it takes is the first important step on your way to success. Many, many people never show up. They lack the support of family and friends or simply don't have that indomitable spirit that may sometimes read as arrogance. You also must have the means to get there. The investment for writing is not huge, but you must have access to books and a decent education, and these days, a computer and access to the internet as a minimum.
Step 2 Standing in Line A
For writing, I think line A is where you start working on your first novel. It takes a long time to get through this line. Many people will stand in this line forever, either forever imagining the novel they will write and never writing a word or starting different novels over and over again and never finding the right one. It may seem as though this line is never ending.
One of the security people told us several times, "Do not step forward. The line is not moving." He was serious. People kept pushing forward and the front of the line got more and more tightly packed, but there wasn't really any movement. It was imaginary, and I thought what a great metaphor this was for the real world. There are a lot of people who will tell you that you aren't getting anywhere. And really, there is no visible proof that you are. Sane people will give up. But the people who are willing to stand in a line even if it means they never move forward are the only ones who are going to get to step 2. There is no way of knowing when you will move out of step 2 (if ever). You just have to keep standing in line, trying.
Step 3 Standing in Line B
Line B is when you have finished your first novel. There is no doubt that this is great news. Now you have proof that you are a writer. You can show people what you've accomplished, and you can look back and see all the people who are still in Line A, apparently not moving forward at all. Now you are on your way, right?
Only it doesn't feel that way because you are still in a very, very long line, querying agents. And this one doesn't seem like it's moving very fast, either. Occasionally, you may see someone who comes out of the front doors, apparently through the line. But there are only a handful and they don't seem as happy as they should be. What happens in there? Is any of this really worth it?
Step 4 Standing in Line C
Now you have an agent. This means you are "in," right? Only maybe it doesn't. Because once again, you are just standing in another line. The agent has to put your manuscript in front of an editor, and it is another waiting game. Can you muster patience yet again? How can you be sure that you are in the right line, with the right agent? Other people seem to be moving ahead of you somehow. You can't see any difference in their position from yours. It seems random chance. It is utterly unfair, but there it is.
Step 5 A Number
At last, you have a number. An editor has expressed interest in your manuscript. But wait? Seriously, another line? Now you have to wait for the editor to present your manuscript to "committee" or to "marketing" or to get permission from her boss to acquire it. In the X-Factor this means that you are in front of the first set of judges. Who may be able to do nothing at all for you. You may be sent home right now, after all that waiting, all that work, with nothing to show for it. In fact, most people are sent home.
All those people you saw leaving unhappily before? This is what happened to them. They have to start all over again at step 1, finding the courage once more to be a writer, finding an idea and starting a new manuscript. Next year, you can go to auditions again. The worst part is that when you watch the tapes on network TV, you KNOW that you were better. It was just that no one who mattered heard you perform. You're convinced now there is some secret handshake that gets people through to step 6. What else could it be? Again, you have to find the courage to keep going, either with your own vision or with a changed vision due to some lesson you may or may not be right in deciphering from the deafening silence of responses.
Step 6 Tier 2 Judges
You've been passed on to the next round of judges. This still means nothing, and everything seems random. You see tons of talented people being turned away. On the one hand, you are thrilled to have an offer. On the other hand, you are confused and left doubting the whole system. Your contract certainly isn't going to make you rich. At best, you're going to get paid minimum wage for working long, hard hours. Is this what you want? Isn't there some better way to the top? You don't want to sign away anything permanently, but what choice do you have?
Step 7 Auditions for the Real Judges
As a writer, this is when your first book is finally published and the reps go out to sell it into the bookstores. No, not all published books will be available at your local bookstore. Only the ones that they think will "sell." And that means, more than a few thousand copies. Maybe you can survive on the local indies support. But it would be nice if the chains pick you up. More than nice, really. You never realized how many hurdles there were before anyone could actually vote for you. Who knew that you would have to write a book that can be distilled into a handful of words as a pitch given to a bookstore rep who will never read your book from a publishing rep who probably won't, either. These are the people who supposedly care about books, but you are just a product to them.
Step 8 The National Audience
Your audience is the readers, those strange people who will actually pay money to read a book. The people who vote in reality TV shows are not the same demographic as the people who watch it. They have to feel something really compelling about you to pick up the phone and do something to help you. And the truth is, it's not about who has the most talent. Some less talented people will do better because they have other skills, showmanship, likeability or—The X-Factor.
Good luck!
Step 1 Getting there
Whatever it is that makes you believe you have what it takes is the first important step on your way to success. Many, many people never show up. They lack the support of family and friends or simply don't have that indomitable spirit that may sometimes read as arrogance. You also must have the means to get there. The investment for writing is not huge, but you must have access to books and a decent education, and these days, a computer and access to the internet as a minimum.
Step 2 Standing in Line A
For writing, I think line A is where you start working on your first novel. It takes a long time to get through this line. Many people will stand in this line forever, either forever imagining the novel they will write and never writing a word or starting different novels over and over again and never finding the right one. It may seem as though this line is never ending.
One of the security people told us several times, "Do not step forward. The line is not moving." He was serious. People kept pushing forward and the front of the line got more and more tightly packed, but there wasn't really any movement. It was imaginary, and I thought what a great metaphor this was for the real world. There are a lot of people who will tell you that you aren't getting anywhere. And really, there is no visible proof that you are. Sane people will give up. But the people who are willing to stand in a line even if it means they never move forward are the only ones who are going to get to step 2. There is no way of knowing when you will move out of step 2 (if ever). You just have to keep standing in line, trying.
Step 3 Standing in Line B
Line B is when you have finished your first novel. There is no doubt that this is great news. Now you have proof that you are a writer. You can show people what you've accomplished, and you can look back and see all the people who are still in Line A, apparently not moving forward at all. Now you are on your way, right?
Only it doesn't feel that way because you are still in a very, very long line, querying agents. And this one doesn't seem like it's moving very fast, either. Occasionally, you may see someone who comes out of the front doors, apparently through the line. But there are only a handful and they don't seem as happy as they should be. What happens in there? Is any of this really worth it?
Step 4 Standing in Line C
Now you have an agent. This means you are "in," right? Only maybe it doesn't. Because once again, you are just standing in another line. The agent has to put your manuscript in front of an editor, and it is another waiting game. Can you muster patience yet again? How can you be sure that you are in the right line, with the right agent? Other people seem to be moving ahead of you somehow. You can't see any difference in their position from yours. It seems random chance. It is utterly unfair, but there it is.
Step 5 A Number
At last, you have a number. An editor has expressed interest in your manuscript. But wait? Seriously, another line? Now you have to wait for the editor to present your manuscript to "committee" or to "marketing" or to get permission from her boss to acquire it. In the X-Factor this means that you are in front of the first set of judges. Who may be able to do nothing at all for you. You may be sent home right now, after all that waiting, all that work, with nothing to show for it. In fact, most people are sent home.
All those people you saw leaving unhappily before? This is what happened to them. They have to start all over again at step 1, finding the courage once more to be a writer, finding an idea and starting a new manuscript. Next year, you can go to auditions again. The worst part is that when you watch the tapes on network TV, you KNOW that you were better. It was just that no one who mattered heard you perform. You're convinced now there is some secret handshake that gets people through to step 6. What else could it be? Again, you have to find the courage to keep going, either with your own vision or with a changed vision due to some lesson you may or may not be right in deciphering from the deafening silence of responses.
Step 6 Tier 2 Judges
You've been passed on to the next round of judges. This still means nothing, and everything seems random. You see tons of talented people being turned away. On the one hand, you are thrilled to have an offer. On the other hand, you are confused and left doubting the whole system. Your contract certainly isn't going to make you rich. At best, you're going to get paid minimum wage for working long, hard hours. Is this what you want? Isn't there some better way to the top? You don't want to sign away anything permanently, but what choice do you have?
Step 7 Auditions for the Real Judges
As a writer, this is when your first book is finally published and the reps go out to sell it into the bookstores. No, not all published books will be available at your local bookstore. Only the ones that they think will "sell." And that means, more than a few thousand copies. Maybe you can survive on the local indies support. But it would be nice if the chains pick you up. More than nice, really. You never realized how many hurdles there were before anyone could actually vote for you. Who knew that you would have to write a book that can be distilled into a handful of words as a pitch given to a bookstore rep who will never read your book from a publishing rep who probably won't, either. These are the people who supposedly care about books, but you are just a product to them.
Step 8 The National Audience
Your audience is the readers, those strange people who will actually pay money to read a book. The people who vote in reality TV shows are not the same demographic as the people who watch it. They have to feel something really compelling about you to pick up the phone and do something to help you. And the truth is, it's not about who has the most talent. Some less talented people will do better because they have other skills, showmanship, likeability or—The X-Factor.
Good luck!
March 24, 2011
eternal love--destructive romance myth #1
When I was reading my 10,000 romance novels as a teen, I came across a slew of destructive romance myths. Most of them I recognized at the time and I think I made a list somewhere (maybe just in my head) of romance myths that *I* was never going to be deluded by. Top on that list is "eternal love."
Why is it destructive to believe in eternal love? In the kind of love that was "meant to be"? The kind of love that can't be destroyed no matter who or what is thrown at it?
1. I don't believe real love is like that. If you stand around waiting for eternal love to strike you, I suspect you are going to end up being sadly disappointed by life. And love.
2. Love isn't passive. Love is an active thing. Real love means working really, really hard at it. You have to change and become a better person. You can't wait for the eternal love kind of guy to come to you. You have to work with the guy you have and make your love amazing because it is a battle every day.
3. If everyone is telling you that your love relationship isn't working, if everyone in your family and your friendship circle is trying to break you up, that doesn't mean that what you've found is eternal. It means something is very, very wrong, and you need to start listening to other people and thinking seriously about what is wrong with you. And with him.
4. Eternal love is not an excuse to ignore everyone and everything else in your life. I know, everyone who is in love tends a little to focus only on that part of their life, but I wouldn't encourage this behavior by saying you should do it more and that it's right. You need balance in your life, and yes, even in a romantic relationship, it's healthy for you to have other goals and other needs that don't include your one true love.
5. Love shouldn't be a curse, a millstone hanging around your neck. If you think you are in love "eternally," it can sometimes stop you from moving on in your life when you should. (Not that I am in favor of stupid breakups, which will be a topic later.)
6. Having been in love "eternally" once doesn't mean that you will never experience love again. There are a lot of people who lose beloved spouses to disease or accident or something completely unexpected. And then find love again. This is a wonderful thing and should be embraced.
Any stupid love myths you can think of that you'd like me to debunk? I'll be doing more of this this next.
Why is it destructive to believe in eternal love? In the kind of love that was "meant to be"? The kind of love that can't be destroyed no matter who or what is thrown at it?
1. I don't believe real love is like that. If you stand around waiting for eternal love to strike you, I suspect you are going to end up being sadly disappointed by life. And love.
2. Love isn't passive. Love is an active thing. Real love means working really, really hard at it. You have to change and become a better person. You can't wait for the eternal love kind of guy to come to you. You have to work with the guy you have and make your love amazing because it is a battle every day.
3. If everyone is telling you that your love relationship isn't working, if everyone in your family and your friendship circle is trying to break you up, that doesn't mean that what you've found is eternal. It means something is very, very wrong, and you need to start listening to other people and thinking seriously about what is wrong with you. And with him.
4. Eternal love is not an excuse to ignore everyone and everything else in your life. I know, everyone who is in love tends a little to focus only on that part of their life, but I wouldn't encourage this behavior by saying you should do it more and that it's right. You need balance in your life, and yes, even in a romantic relationship, it's healthy for you to have other goals and other needs that don't include your one true love.
5. Love shouldn't be a curse, a millstone hanging around your neck. If you think you are in love "eternally," it can sometimes stop you from moving on in your life when you should. (Not that I am in favor of stupid breakups, which will be a topic later.)
6. Having been in love "eternally" once doesn't mean that you will never experience love again. There are a lot of people who lose beloved spouses to disease or accident or something completely unexpected. And then find love again. This is a wonderful thing and should be embraced.
Any stupid love myths you can think of that you'd like me to debunk? I'll be doing more of this this next.
March 23, 2011
scene breaks and other beginner stuff
I remember when I wrote my first novel that one of the main questions I had was how to break from scene to scene. Seriously, this concerned me enormously. I could not figure out how to stop telling the story moment to moment for my chosen viewpoint character. I knew readers wouldn't want to know about her sleeping, going to the bathroom, or eating, but the simple words "Two hours later" didn't occur to me. Or "The next day." Or simply a line break when I went on to the next scene or changed viewpoint character.
It is comforting to me to look back on this problem now and think how simple the process has become for me now to do scene breaks. I still have many, many things to work on. But I'm pretty sure I have scene breaks down.
Another thing I could not figure out: sense of place. I remember distinctly (Hi, Carol!) in our writers group that some of the other writers would constantly tell me that they needed a sense of place. They were not talking about paragraph long descriptions of the beautiful scenery. They were talking about stage managing. How one character was standing in the room, how they moved to the other character's side, and what they were doing while talking. This I also figured out and can with some assurance say that I am an expert at. I do it unconsciously while I am writing, even in first draft mode.
This is important to me because one of the things that happen to us as humans is that as we get better at something, we look forward. This is great for getting ever better. The reach should exceed the grasp and all that. But as I watch my teens struggle with the sensation that they are getting worse, because they see more and more that they cannot do, I think that this is essentially the job of adulthood.
Children think that adults know so much. The truth is, adults are aware of how much they do not know even more keenly than children are. They begin to sense the edges of their lack of knowledge. In fact, I think one of the moments when teens move into adulthood is when that feeling of "I can do everything and anything" disappears and one has to choose only one very small thing to excel at.
I suspect that I mourn that loss of innocence more than most and that is probably why I am a YA writer. Perhaps I also ignore the adult reality of limitation more than most, too. I continue to pretend that I do not have the limitations that I have. Maybe there is something wonderful in that.
But today, I am celebrating looking back and remembering that I have actually learned some things that I did not know before. Though my sense of the widening expanse of knowledge I do not have has expanded more quickly than it seems my competence has, still, I am not getting stupider. Lift a glass with me. *Cheers*
It is comforting to me to look back on this problem now and think how simple the process has become for me now to do scene breaks. I still have many, many things to work on. But I'm pretty sure I have scene breaks down.
Another thing I could not figure out: sense of place. I remember distinctly (Hi, Carol!) in our writers group that some of the other writers would constantly tell me that they needed a sense of place. They were not talking about paragraph long descriptions of the beautiful scenery. They were talking about stage managing. How one character was standing in the room, how they moved to the other character's side, and what they were doing while talking. This I also figured out and can with some assurance say that I am an expert at. I do it unconsciously while I am writing, even in first draft mode.
This is important to me because one of the things that happen to us as humans is that as we get better at something, we look forward. This is great for getting ever better. The reach should exceed the grasp and all that. But as I watch my teens struggle with the sensation that they are getting worse, because they see more and more that they cannot do, I think that this is essentially the job of adulthood.
Children think that adults know so much. The truth is, adults are aware of how much they do not know even more keenly than children are. They begin to sense the edges of their lack of knowledge. In fact, I think one of the moments when teens move into adulthood is when that feeling of "I can do everything and anything" disappears and one has to choose only one very small thing to excel at.
I suspect that I mourn that loss of innocence more than most and that is probably why I am a YA writer. Perhaps I also ignore the adult reality of limitation more than most, too. I continue to pretend that I do not have the limitations that I have. Maybe there is something wonderful in that.
But today, I am celebrating looking back and remembering that I have actually learned some things that I did not know before. Though my sense of the widening expanse of knowledge I do not have has expanded more quickly than it seems my competence has, still, I am not getting stupider. Lift a glass with me. *Cheers*
March 18, 2011
The Last Unicorn
Just a quote that I love:
"Wonder and love and great sorrow shook Schmendrick the Magician then, and came together inside him, and filled him, filled him until he felt himself brimming and flowing with something that was none of these. He did not believe it, but it came to him anyway, as it had touched him twice before and left him more barren than he had been. This time, there was too much of it for him to hold: it spilled through his skin, sprang from his fingers and toes, welled up equally in his eyes and his hair and the hollow of his shoulders. There was too much to hold, too much ever to use; and still he found himself weeping with the pain of his impossible greed. He thought, or said, or sang, I did not know that I was so empty, to be so full."
I think this is one of the reasons that fantasy has been on an upswing lately. I think that technology is moving faster than our ability to understand it and adapt to it. Fantasy allows us to describe life in a way that is more archaic, but sometimes feels more real. This experience of magic is the reason I write about magic, as well.
"Wonder and love and great sorrow shook Schmendrick the Magician then, and came together inside him, and filled him, filled him until he felt himself brimming and flowing with something that was none of these. He did not believe it, but it came to him anyway, as it had touched him twice before and left him more barren than he had been. This time, there was too much of it for him to hold: it spilled through his skin, sprang from his fingers and toes, welled up equally in his eyes and his hair and the hollow of his shoulders. There was too much to hold, too much ever to use; and still he found himself weeping with the pain of his impossible greed. He thought, or said, or sang, I did not know that I was so empty, to be so full."
I think this is one of the reasons that fantasy has been on an upswing lately. I think that technology is moving faster than our ability to understand it and adapt to it. Fantasy allows us to describe life in a way that is more archaic, but sometimes feels more real. This experience of magic is the reason I write about magic, as well.
March 17, 2011
more on high school
I also put this wretched essay that says nothing but B.S. in my portfolio:
"The skills learned in chemistry are readily applicable in other fields. Through observation and experimentation practical application of knowledge is learned. The analytical processes are awakened in chemistry, and logic prevails over discontinuous thought. In order to learn chemistry, discipline, concentration and patience are necessary. These skills are transferred to other areas of focus."
If one of my kids wrote this and I saw it, I would have pointed out that this essay is "crap" and says nothing at all. Why it won second place I have no idea, except that the other essays must have been even worse. *Shudder*
I quoted myself in the Freedom Academy Yearbook (leadership camp for the Utah National Guard--since I didn't get invited to go to the real leadership camp that year):
"In America we have the right to be right and the right to be wrong."
Ouch! Not only did I say that, but I actually put it in my portfolio. What was I thinking? Was I smart enough to be using irony even then?
And here is something that was trying to be funny (I tried that a lot in high school and college and am not sure I ever succeeded):
Everyone seems to have a quirk of some sort that sets him apart as an individual. For some reason, teachers seem to have the most and the most noticeable mannerisms--teacherisms--of anyone. Coach Don Chamberlain is among the most famous for his teachisms. For one, his classroom technique sets him above the crowd. A casual observer might not notice that Coach, as he lounges against the chalkboard, looks amazingly like the poster of Tom Selleck displayed behind him (minus the paunch and graying hair, of course), Most phenomeonal about Coach is his colorful vocabulary. Only experience students will be able to understand terms such as "sucking eggs" (a problem with negative variables under even roots), "biffing it" (doing it incorrectly), "factor like wild Indians" (do that icky algebra because I'm not going to) and "sitiation" (any mathematical equation).
"The skills learned in chemistry are readily applicable in other fields. Through observation and experimentation practical application of knowledge is learned. The analytical processes are awakened in chemistry, and logic prevails over discontinuous thought. In order to learn chemistry, discipline, concentration and patience are necessary. These skills are transferred to other areas of focus."
If one of my kids wrote this and I saw it, I would have pointed out that this essay is "crap" and says nothing at all. Why it won second place I have no idea, except that the other essays must have been even worse. *Shudder*
I quoted myself in the Freedom Academy Yearbook (leadership camp for the Utah National Guard--since I didn't get invited to go to the real leadership camp that year):
"In America we have the right to be right and the right to be wrong."
Ouch! Not only did I say that, but I actually put it in my portfolio. What was I thinking? Was I smart enough to be using irony even then?
And here is something that was trying to be funny (I tried that a lot in high school and college and am not sure I ever succeeded):
Everyone seems to have a quirk of some sort that sets him apart as an individual. For some reason, teachers seem to have the most and the most noticeable mannerisms--teacherisms--of anyone. Coach Don Chamberlain is among the most famous for his teachisms. For one, his classroom technique sets him above the crowd. A casual observer might not notice that Coach, as he lounges against the chalkboard, looks amazingly like the poster of Tom Selleck displayed behind him (minus the paunch and graying hair, of course), Most phenomeonal about Coach is his colorful vocabulary. Only experience students will be able to understand terms such as "sucking eggs" (a problem with negative variables under even roots), "biffing it" (doing it incorrectly), "factor like wild Indians" (do that icky algebra because I'm not going to) and "sitiation" (any mathematical equation).
March 15, 2011
personal essay
In my Sterling Scholar portfolio I wrote that my goal in life was:
To share my literary talent with people of different countries.
It sounds kind of arrogant reading it back, but actually, I've sort of done that. Haven't I? Why is everything so much clearer when I look back on high school? I was so confused then, but it seems like everything was leading me down this one, inevitable path to becoming an author.
Here is the surprisingly unembarrassing essay I wrote about why foreign language study mattered:
"Wer kennt keine Fremdpsprache kennt seine eigene Sprache nicht." I distinctly remember the day when I knew my study of foreign language had expanded my ability to use my own. My ninth grade English teach asked for the second person singular pronoun. Looking around at the blank faces of my classmates, I raised my hand and responded "du." Right pronoun. Wrong language.
Up until that day, I had taken classes in Italian, Spanish and German, but after realizing what an impact those classes could have, I began in earnest to study language.
Funding my trip with hard-earned babysitting money, I went to German and enrolled in a "Gymnasium" for my tenth grade year. There I experienced first hand how inextricably bound language is to culture. The more I immersed myself in German culture, the more I saw tourists--especially Americans--as outsiders. Rather than attempting to absorb the "real" Germany, they seemed to expect the natives to bow to American culture and language.
Back at Timpview, I have the past year and a half improving my German, Spanish, and experimenting with French, Russian, and Danish. I am currently enrolled in German Literature 440R at Brigham Young University and AP Spanish at Timpview.
Language is the ultimate trampoline. It vaults you to heights of knowledge otherwise impossible to achieve. "Wer kennt keine Fremdpsrache keint seine eigene Sprache night." He who knows no foreign language, knows not his own.
I think this is actually quite a good essay. It is coherent, but it also shows that I had real experience outside of the US, looking back at America. I don't know how many people who were up for this award had that. I'm rather proud of this essay, looking back, and surprised that I could actually write well on occasion. Though sadly, as now, I don't think I knew the difference between good writing and bad.
To share my literary talent with people of different countries.
It sounds kind of arrogant reading it back, but actually, I've sort of done that. Haven't I? Why is everything so much clearer when I look back on high school? I was so confused then, but it seems like everything was leading me down this one, inevitable path to becoming an author.
Here is the surprisingly unembarrassing essay I wrote about why foreign language study mattered:
"Wer kennt keine Fremdpsprache kennt seine eigene Sprache nicht." I distinctly remember the day when I knew my study of foreign language had expanded my ability to use my own. My ninth grade English teach asked for the second person singular pronoun. Looking around at the blank faces of my classmates, I raised my hand and responded "du." Right pronoun. Wrong language.
Up until that day, I had taken classes in Italian, Spanish and German, but after realizing what an impact those classes could have, I began in earnest to study language.
Funding my trip with hard-earned babysitting money, I went to German and enrolled in a "Gymnasium" for my tenth grade year. There I experienced first hand how inextricably bound language is to culture. The more I immersed myself in German culture, the more I saw tourists--especially Americans--as outsiders. Rather than attempting to absorb the "real" Germany, they seemed to expect the natives to bow to American culture and language.
Back at Timpview, I have the past year and a half improving my German, Spanish, and experimenting with French, Russian, and Danish. I am currently enrolled in German Literature 440R at Brigham Young University and AP Spanish at Timpview.
Language is the ultimate trampoline. It vaults you to heights of knowledge otherwise impossible to achieve. "Wer kennt keine Fremdpsrache keint seine eigene Sprache night." He who knows no foreign language, knows not his own.
I think this is actually quite a good essay. It is coherent, but it also shows that I had real experience outside of the US, looking back at America. I don't know how many people who were up for this award had that. I'm rather proud of this essay, looking back, and surprised that I could actually write well on occasion. Though sadly, as now, I don't think I knew the difference between good writing and bad.
March 14, 2011
Sterling scholar portfolio
I got this out of the garage yesterday to show to 17, who is approaching her senior year. I wanted to show her how easily she could put something like this together. She has literally a box full of certificates and medals which she thinks are useless and "don't count," "aren't real," and so on with the excuses. I showed her how many ridiculous certificates I ended up using in my portfolio because I didn't have anything else. It was a strange mix. I had some that I think really were important and a ton that weren't, and I'm not sure I myself knew the difference between them then.
The list:
Excellent/Superiors from the local university "Language Bowl" in Spanish/German
An Award for "Participation" in a national writing contest
"Superior" in region drama contest
participation in two plays
2nd and 3rd places in the school original writing contest
Superior in the local university Journalism contest
3rd place in the 11th grade school math contest
top 50 statewide in the 11th grade math contest
acceptance letter from Amherst college (which I turned down)
winner of a local "Constitution" essay contest
2nd place in a local Chemistry writing contest
Academic letters in five areas
Swim letter
AP test scores
SAT/ACT/NMSQT test scores
articles in school paper
church citizenship awards
volunteer work
What I think, looking back, were the things I did that really mattered:
*I took a senior level German literature course at BYU while still a high school student and got a A. The professor wrote a letter for me to put in my portfolio that was pretty impressive.
*I was hired by the school to grade AP History and English essays as a senior because I'd been such a good writer and got 5's on the two tests as a junior.
That's it, really. But you can't fill a portfolio with those two things, can you? So you put in the little stuff. The problem was that I then ended up in the interview leading with explanations of why the other stuff didn't count. I'm trying to coach 17 not to do that, because it's her first instinct, as it was mine. She has some truly impressive stuff--and some not so impressive stuff. It will all probably go in.
Ah, high school! How confusing it is at the time. I honestly did not remember it the way that it is in the portfolio. I actually had my GPA and test scores wrong in my head (lower), so why is that? Probably because no one ever asks you after high school what they were. Because it doesn't matter, though with my group we were constantly "sharing" that information with each other.
In real life, I can't help but think that the only thing that mattered about high school was that I worked excessively hard, sometimes taking a class during lunch or jumping into Spanish 2 without Spanish 1 so I could learn faster. That is what I kept doing in college to move myself along. And I guess I have to admit that I showed a genuine talent for writing, though I hate admitting to talent. I'll give some samples tomorrow.
The list:
Excellent/Superiors from the local university "Language Bowl" in Spanish/German
An Award for "Participation" in a national writing contest
"Superior" in region drama contest
participation in two plays
2nd and 3rd places in the school original writing contest
Superior in the local university Journalism contest
3rd place in the 11th grade school math contest
top 50 statewide in the 11th grade math contest
acceptance letter from Amherst college (which I turned down)
winner of a local "Constitution" essay contest
2nd place in a local Chemistry writing contest
Academic letters in five areas
Swim letter
AP test scores
SAT/ACT/NMSQT test scores
articles in school paper
church citizenship awards
volunteer work
What I think, looking back, were the things I did that really mattered:
*I took a senior level German literature course at BYU while still a high school student and got a A. The professor wrote a letter for me to put in my portfolio that was pretty impressive.
*I was hired by the school to grade AP History and English essays as a senior because I'd been such a good writer and got 5's on the two tests as a junior.
That's it, really. But you can't fill a portfolio with those two things, can you? So you put in the little stuff. The problem was that I then ended up in the interview leading with explanations of why the other stuff didn't count. I'm trying to coach 17 not to do that, because it's her first instinct, as it was mine. She has some truly impressive stuff--and some not so impressive stuff. It will all probably go in.
Ah, high school! How confusing it is at the time. I honestly did not remember it the way that it is in the portfolio. I actually had my GPA and test scores wrong in my head (lower), so why is that? Probably because no one ever asks you after high school what they were. Because it doesn't matter, though with my group we were constantly "sharing" that information with each other.
In real life, I can't help but think that the only thing that mattered about high school was that I worked excessively hard, sometimes taking a class during lunch or jumping into Spanish 2 without Spanish 1 so I could learn faster. That is what I kept doing in college to move myself along. And I guess I have to admit that I showed a genuine talent for writing, though I hate admitting to talent. I'll give some samples tomorrow.
March 11, 2011
my unsconscious at work
A couple of days ago, I had a strange and wonderful experience. I was reading a book that fascinated me, but at the same time my brain was working on a story idea, fleshing it out and plotting through it. I don't know that this will be an idea that will come to anything, but it was worth it for no other reason than the experience of seeing my mind work on two things at once.
Looking back, I think there are two reasons that this happened:
1. Reading forces me into a different mode. My internal editor gets tricked into turning off, because I am reading for pleasure, and this is actually extremely advantageous to my creative brain, because it rarely has the chance to play with ideas freely. I find the same thing will sometimes happen while I am in the shower or watching TV, likely for the same reason. Or in the middle of a conversation with someone else. I am a big believer in the importance of unlocking the subconscious and trusting it.
2. I was inside of a well written story world and this inspired my mind to do something similar. This part of the equation IS, I think, particular to reading and not just any activity that unlocks the creative unconscious. When my mind sees a pattern that is really perfection in writing, it wants to mimic it and starts to unwind the secrets of that pattern and figure out how to replicate them in one of my own stories. If I see an emotional effect that I like, for example, I think about how I can steal it and use it in my own books. Or if I like a character, I can hijack that character for a moment, watch him or her work in my own world, and then take notes on what I've learned.
I don't know that other people write this way at all. In that sense, it may be useless to everyone else. Nonetheless, it was interesting. I in no way tried to provoke this event. It took me a moment to realize what had happened, and I often wish that my brain would focus more on one thing at a time. But then I let it go, and kept reading and thinking.
Looking back, I think there are two reasons that this happened:
1. Reading forces me into a different mode. My internal editor gets tricked into turning off, because I am reading for pleasure, and this is actually extremely advantageous to my creative brain, because it rarely has the chance to play with ideas freely. I find the same thing will sometimes happen while I am in the shower or watching TV, likely for the same reason. Or in the middle of a conversation with someone else. I am a big believer in the importance of unlocking the subconscious and trusting it.
2. I was inside of a well written story world and this inspired my mind to do something similar. This part of the equation IS, I think, particular to reading and not just any activity that unlocks the creative unconscious. When my mind sees a pattern that is really perfection in writing, it wants to mimic it and starts to unwind the secrets of that pattern and figure out how to replicate them in one of my own stories. If I see an emotional effect that I like, for example, I think about how I can steal it and use it in my own books. Or if I like a character, I can hijack that character for a moment, watch him or her work in my own world, and then take notes on what I've learned.
I don't know that other people write this way at all. In that sense, it may be useless to everyone else. Nonetheless, it was interesting. I in no way tried to provoke this event. It took me a moment to realize what had happened, and I often wish that my brain would focus more on one thing at a time. But then I let it go, and kept reading and thinking.
March 9, 2011
the arrogance of writers
Talking to a friend today about her first published book that went on to rave reviews, she told me about the "D" a professor of children's lit had given her in a class on that same book. And then she took another class with a different professor who glowed about it and told her she should be able to publish it.
I thought about this and realized that I was the same way. I kept writing and rewriting, thinking of new ideas, throwing out old ones. I had a writing group, but other than that, I had very little feedback from editors or agents. Just rejection after rejection. For five years. A couple of contest wins, which I suppose were encouraging. Other than that, I lived in my writing cave every day, determined that I would be published and sure in some deep part of myself that this book I was currently working on was "the one."
I don't know how I did that. I don't know how my friend did it, either. I look back on that time and think that it is pretty amazing that anyone keeps going in a situation like that. Twenty novels I wrote without getting published. That's a lot of words to have faith in myself.
You might call it arrogance, but that's what writers are. We are so arrogant that no matter who tells us no, we persist in writing. We are so arrogant that we think that other people want to PAY us to write down little dreams in our heads. We are so arrogant that we believe our books are better than anyone else's.
And yes, we are also sometimes so sure that we are failures that we put aside manuscripts that we once loved. We let critics and reviews so deep into our hearts that we can hardly breathe. We believe that every writer out there has done a better job than we have. We see all our flaws and they prick us like a thousand needles in the eye. We believe we will never make it.
And we keep writing anyway. I think that's pretty awesome of us.
I thought about this and realized that I was the same way. I kept writing and rewriting, thinking of new ideas, throwing out old ones. I had a writing group, but other than that, I had very little feedback from editors or agents. Just rejection after rejection. For five years. A couple of contest wins, which I suppose were encouraging. Other than that, I lived in my writing cave every day, determined that I would be published and sure in some deep part of myself that this book I was currently working on was "the one."
I don't know how I did that. I don't know how my friend did it, either. I look back on that time and think that it is pretty amazing that anyone keeps going in a situation like that. Twenty novels I wrote without getting published. That's a lot of words to have faith in myself.
You might call it arrogance, but that's what writers are. We are so arrogant that no matter who tells us no, we persist in writing. We are so arrogant that we think that other people want to PAY us to write down little dreams in our heads. We are so arrogant that we believe our books are better than anyone else's.
And yes, we are also sometimes so sure that we are failures that we put aside manuscripts that we once loved. We let critics and reviews so deep into our hearts that we can hardly breathe. We believe that every writer out there has done a better job than we have. We see all our flaws and they prick us like a thousand needles in the eye. We believe we will never make it.
And we keep writing anyway. I think that's pretty awesome of us.
March 8, 2011
changing agents
I have had a LOT of writer friends ask my advice about agents over the last couple of years. And I've talked about my agent with other writers plenty. I thought it might be useful to mention some of my thoughts here. Even if you don't have an agent at this point, it is something to think about while you query agents.
Here is the inevitable complaint:
I am thinking of changing agents because my agent is always telling me that s/he hates a project that I love.
It boils down pretty simply to this one complaint. And yes, I know what this feels like. I've had my agent tell me that he really dislikes certain projects of mine that I was/am in love with. I don't always agree with him, although honestly, after so many years, I trust him a LOT to know when I have a project that either isn't marketable or is just plain not living up to my vision of it in my head.
That said, there are many, many occasions on which your agent will disagree with you about whether or not your next book is ready to be submitted. I have the same advice for every author I talk to about this. Your relationship with your agent needs to be the kind of relationship where your agent believes that you trust him/her almost absolutely. You must make sure you listen carefully to all your agent's comments. You must try to address them. And then, if you still disagree, you must have the kind of relationship with your agent where you can say, I want you to submit this anyway. You have to be strong enough to do that. I honestly think after listening to so many authors complain about this that the problem isn't on the agent's side as much as it is on the author's.
Here are the reasons I think you should fire an agent:
1. Agent is not submitting your manuscripts to anyone or will not tell you who they are submitting to (usually the same thing).
2. Agent will not respond to phone calls or emails.
3. Agent does not send you your money.
Yup, that's pretty much it. OK, I will add one more:
4. Agent is a jackass and am embarrassment in public.
Now, for those of you looking for agents, listen to this:
Finding an agent is getting married. This is not an exaggeration. It's not even an analogy. It is literal. You will produce books with this other person. Those books will forever be shared between you. Do not sign with an agent lightly! But once you are with an agent, you should have a really, really good reason for leaving the agent. Not just--we grew apart.
Because, really, when I hear people talk about leaving a spouse, I feel the same way. It's not the spouse, it's you. And guess what? These authors, just like people who get divorced, discover frequently when they get married again, that they simply have the same problems all over. Because it wasn't the other person.
You know you've heard exes talk about each other in way that makes you want to hit them both over the head. It was *all* the other person's fault. Only you know it wasn't because you've heard both sides of the story.
Here is the inevitable complaint:
I am thinking of changing agents because my agent is always telling me that s/he hates a project that I love.
It boils down pretty simply to this one complaint. And yes, I know what this feels like. I've had my agent tell me that he really dislikes certain projects of mine that I was/am in love with. I don't always agree with him, although honestly, after so many years, I trust him a LOT to know when I have a project that either isn't marketable or is just plain not living up to my vision of it in my head.
That said, there are many, many occasions on which your agent will disagree with you about whether or not your next book is ready to be submitted. I have the same advice for every author I talk to about this. Your relationship with your agent needs to be the kind of relationship where your agent believes that you trust him/her almost absolutely. You must make sure you listen carefully to all your agent's comments. You must try to address them. And then, if you still disagree, you must have the kind of relationship with your agent where you can say, I want you to submit this anyway. You have to be strong enough to do that. I honestly think after listening to so many authors complain about this that the problem isn't on the agent's side as much as it is on the author's.
Here are the reasons I think you should fire an agent:
1. Agent is not submitting your manuscripts to anyone or will not tell you who they are submitting to (usually the same thing).
2. Agent will not respond to phone calls or emails.
3. Agent does not send you your money.
Yup, that's pretty much it. OK, I will add one more:
4. Agent is a jackass and am embarrassment in public.
Now, for those of you looking for agents, listen to this:
Finding an agent is getting married. This is not an exaggeration. It's not even an analogy. It is literal. You will produce books with this other person. Those books will forever be shared between you. Do not sign with an agent lightly! But once you are with an agent, you should have a really, really good reason for leaving the agent. Not just--we grew apart.
Because, really, when I hear people talk about leaving a spouse, I feel the same way. It's not the spouse, it's you. And guess what? These authors, just like people who get divorced, discover frequently when they get married again, that they simply have the same problems all over. Because it wasn't the other person.
You know you've heard exes talk about each other in way that makes you want to hit them both over the head. It was *all* the other person's fault. Only you know it wasn't because you've heard both sides of the story.
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