The Line Is Not Moving--and other lessons for writers from X-Factor auditions

The X-Factor for Writers

Step 1 Getting there

Whatever it is that makes you believe you have what it takes is the first important step on your way to success. Many, many people never show up. They lack the support of family and friends or simply don't have that indomitable spirit that may sometimes read as arrogance. You also must have the means to get there. The investment for writing is not huge, but you must have access to books and a decent education, and these days, a computer and access to the internet as a minimum.

Step 2 Standing in Line A

For writing, I think line A is where you start working on your first novel. It takes a long time to get through this line. Many people will stand in this line forever, either forever imagining the novel they will write and never writing a word or starting different novels over and over again and never finding the right one. It may seem as though this line is never ending.

One of the security people told us several times, "Do not step forward. The line is not moving." He was serious. People kept pushing forward and the front of the line got more and more tightly packed, but there wasn't really any movement. It was imaginary, and I thought what a great metaphor this was for the real world. There are a lot of people who will tell you that you aren't getting anywhere. And really, there is no visible proof that you are. Sane people will give up. But the people who are willing to stand in a line even if it means they never move forward are the only ones who are going to get to step 2. There is no way of knowing when you will move out of step 2 (if ever). You just have to keep standing in line, trying.

Step 3 Standing in Line B

Line B is when you have finished your first novel. There is no doubt that this is great news. Now you have proof that you are a writer. You can show people what you've accomplished, and you can look back and see all the people who are still in Line A, apparently not moving forward at all. Now you are on your way, right?

Only it doesn't feel that way because you are still in a very, very long line, querying agents. And this one doesn't seem like it's moving very fast, either. Occasionally, you may see someone who comes out of the front doors, apparently through the line. But there are only a handful and they don't seem as happy as they should be. What happens in there? Is any of this really worth it?

Step 4 Standing in Line C

Now you have an agent. This means you are "in," right? Only maybe it doesn't. Because once again, you are just standing in another line. The agent has to put your manuscript in front of an editor, and it is another waiting game. Can you muster patience yet again? How can you be sure that you are in the right line, with the right agent? Other people seem to be moving ahead of you somehow. You can't see any difference in their position from yours. It seems random chance. It is utterly unfair, but there it is.

Step 5 A Number

At last, you have a number. An editor has expressed interest in your manuscript. But wait? Seriously, another line? Now you have to wait for the editor to present your manuscript to "committee" or to "marketing" or to get permission from her boss to acquire it. In the X-Factor this means that you are in front of the first set of judges. Who may be able to do nothing at all for you. You may be sent home right now, after all that waiting, all that work, with nothing to show for it. In fact, most people are sent home.

All those people you saw leaving unhappily before? This is what happened to them. They have to start all over again at step 1, finding the courage once more to be a writer, finding an idea and starting a new manuscript. Next year, you can go to auditions again. The worst part is that when you watch the tapes on network TV, you KNOW that you were better. It was just that no one who mattered heard you perform. You're convinced now there is some secret handshake that gets people through to step 6. What else could it be? Again, you have to find the courage to keep going, either with your own vision or with a changed vision due to some lesson you may or may not be right in deciphering from the deafening silence of responses.

Step 6 Tier 2 Judges

You've been passed on to the next round of judges. This still means nothing, and everything seems random. You see tons of talented people being turned away. On the one hand, you are thrilled to have an offer. On the other hand, you are confused and left doubting the whole system. Your contract certainly isn't going to make you rich. At best, you're going to get paid minimum wage for working long, hard hours. Is this what you want? Isn't there some better way to the top? You don't want to sign away anything permanently, but what choice do you have?

Step 7 Auditions for the Real Judges

As a writer, this is when your first book is finally published and the reps go out to sell it into the bookstores. No, not all published books will be available at your local bookstore. Only the ones that they think will "sell." And that means, more than a few thousand copies. Maybe you can survive on the local indies support. But it would be nice if the chains pick you up. More than nice, really. You never realized how many hurdles there were before anyone could actually vote for you. Who knew that you would have to write a book that can be distilled into a handful of words as a pitch given to a bookstore rep who will never read your book from a publishing rep who probably won't, either. These are the people who supposedly care about books, but you are just a product to them.


Step 8 The National Audience

Your audience is the readers, those strange people who will actually pay money to read a book. The people who vote in reality TV shows are not the same demographic as the people who watch it. They have to feel something really compelling about you to pick up the phone and do something to help you. And the truth is, it's not about who has the most talent. Some less talented people will do better because they have other skills, showmanship, likeability or—The X-Factor.

Good luck!