Kevin L. O'Brien's Blog: Songs of the Seanchaí, page 6

Synopsis: The Prodigal Vampire (a Sir Differel adventure)

When the girls come down to their kitchen one morning, they find Sir Differel making them an English breakfast. When they ask how she got in, she states that it wasn't hard, if one has the right devices. When they ask what she's doing there, she at first quips that she's making breakfast, but after she serves them, she admits she needs help. Something has happened to Dracula.

About a week ago she sent him to investigate some strange goings on in the mountains west of Denver. By agreement with Lt. Gen. Morgan Leia Ross, she is allowed to send Dracula anywhere within the US as long as she alerts Ross of her intention. He reported in a few times, saying he was tracking the phenomenon to its source, when he disappeared. At her request, Ross sent in a squad of Rangers to have a look-see, but they found no trace of him. Unfortunately, she could not do more without raising official attention, and neither of them wanted Federal authorities involved. She plans to go in on her own, with help from Ross, and she would like the girls to come with her. She would also like them to ask Giovanna Borgia to come along. When they ask about Medb, Differel states that she already contacted the massive woman, and she will join them after she does some investigation of her own. She wants to leave ASAP, but she realizes they have to wait until dark for the girly vampire.

The girls send Giovanna an email, then get cleaned up. When they finish, they find a response; Giovanna agrees to come over. Differel is surprised, but they explain that Dracula had taught her how to suppress her torpor, and after a year of practice she had become nearly as good as he is. She still tends to sleep the day away when she has nothing better to do, but she often stays up past dawn.

While they wait, Kojoro pays a visit, and they remember they had offered to spend the day with her. When they explain why they cannot, she offers to help. They helped her when she needed it, now she can return the favor. Differel is reluctant to have a foreign national involved, but she changes her mind when Kojoro reveals her true form. Giovanna arrives, wrapped in a hooded cloak, and the girls serve coffee. Differel explains the problem, and Giovanna agrees to help. With her "team" assembled, Differel decides to leave immediately. The girls arrange for a rented RV, and retrieve a few weapons from Masie's arsenal. Differel shows them on a map where they are going, and the girls get excited; the destination is close to the village of Faelchusraid, the home of Fael Cayleen, a female alpha werewolf. She might be able to help them, and they send her an email to expect them. When the RV arrives, they put away the guns and ammunition, pack some clothes and other supplies, and head out, making a stop at Giovanna's place to allow her to get a few things and a supply of blood and plasma. Next they stop at a store to purchase groceries, gas up the RV, and head out.

Giovanna decides to nap. They stop in Golden for an early lunch, then pick up I-70 and head into the mountains. Differel drives at first, but she gets tired as the afternoon wears on; her body thinks it's evening. Eile then takes over, much to Differel's surprise, but she explains that being married and wanting to start a family, she and Sunny figured they had better learn how to drive. Eile has her license and Sunny a learner's permit. Differel finally decides to take a nap, and they continue west. When they reach Silverthorne they turn north to Kremmling, where the girls and Kojoro have a snack. That's when they discover that Snowshoe Kitty snuck aboard, when they find her curled up next to Differel. Then they follow State Highway 40 until they reach Steamboat Springs. The weather is kind to them for November, and while it gets cold, it doesn't snow and the roads are clear. Still, they don't reach the Springs until close to six; Giovanna is now awake. Medb maintains a safe house there, and while Giovanna stays with the RV, the girls and Kojoro go into town to meet Medb's contact. Medb has left no messages for them, and they collect the keys and an electronic pass. The house lies outside the Springs, halfway to the Routt National Forest, and they don't arrive until 7. The pass gets them through the security gate and activates the house; the keys get them into the house, and Masie greets them. They awaken Differel, transfer their guns, supplies, and equipment into the house, and then wait for Medb to show up. Fortunately the house is well stocked with movies, music, video games, food, and wine.

While she slept, Differel dreamed. After so many trips to the Dreamworld, she has her routine down pat. She always arrives in the daytime, though at random times between dawn and dusk. In the Cavern of Flame, she dresses in non-descript travel clothing and claims Caliburn, then walks to Ulthar; it usually takes her half a day to get there, and she usually snacks in Nir. Once in Ulthar, she checks in at the girl's residence. Sometimes they are there, but usually they are not, and this time is no exception. However, their resident Fear Dearg knows her and allows her to enter. She eats at the Hostel of the Laughing Cat, then sleeps overnight. In the morning she heads out for Hlanith. She usually takes the route through the Thorineach Hills, and generally spends three days on the journey, though she can do it in two if she needs. However, sometimes she goes north to Kirin and then takes a boat down the Oukranos River when she doesn't feel like walking the whole way; that is generally a two-day trip. Once in Hlanith she arranges passage to Celephais, then stays overnight, leaving the next morning. She generally arrives in the afternoon and goes to her estate to clean up and change. After that she visits Victor's estate, which doubles as the Punicae embassy and consulate. Sometimes he is there, but she doesn't count on it. Instead they usually tell her where he is, and if he is in Punica, they send him a message saying that she has arrived. She then returns to her estate to go over the finances and handle any problems that have come up since her last visit. After a good night's sleep, she dresses in her flying suit and rides her Wakiya, Eleanor d'Aquitaine, to Hazuth-Kleg, where she visits Elatha, the leader of the Fomorians. Though she doesn't trust him, as a Defender of Hazuth-Kleg she has the right to call upon him and expect an hospitable welcome. It also allowes him to pass along information to Kuranes without seeming to cooperate directly. She again stays overnight, then proceeds to Punica and Victor's island estate. There she resides with him, and they often travel and adventured together. It generally takes a week for her to complete the journey.

On this visit, she explains to Elatha about Dracula, hoping he might have information. He promises to look into it. She also tells Victor. There is nothing he can do, but it allows her to voice her fears and frustrations and work through them. A couple of days later, as they prepare to take a trip with the girls to the city of Delnia, the Fomorian ambassador to Punica informs Differel that Dracula has been taken by a Dréag, but he does not provide any details. The revelation unsettles her, but there is little she can do until she awakens.

Once they get settled at the safe house, Sunny goes out into the backyard and gives a long, drawn-out howl. When Differel asks about it, Eile explains that a year ago, just before they first met her, they were hiking in the National Forest when Sunny was kidnapped by a clan of werewolves. Fael Cayleen, the leader of a rival clan, helped her and Medb to rescue her, but she had become infected with lycanthrope. Mabuse was able to cure her, but like Eile's resident parasite population, Sunny still carries the virus in her tissues. She can transform herself into a werewolf if she really concentrates, but she doesn't like to do it, because each time it gets easier, which means that it could happen if she becomes agitated or angry. Also, it's addictive. However, that makes Sunny part of Fael's clan, and she's announcing her presence. Sunny howls again, and far off they faintly hear a reply. Satisfied, they go back in and Sunny whips up a gourmet meal. Afterwards, the women spend the evening watching an action/thriller.

After the movie, Differel informs the others about what Elatha told her. The girls are suspicious, but the information cannot be lightly discounted. The main questions are what is a Dréag and how to locate it. Giovanna explains that a Dréag, or rather a Draugr, is an undead creature, essentially a reanimated corpse. Of course, there really is no such thing as the undead. Creatures that laymen usually associate with being undead, such as vampires and zombies, are simply victims of biological contagions. But what creates a Draugr is currently unknown. She and Kojoro then get into an argument over the nature of magic. Despite being a vampire and a devout Theist, Giovanna is a materialist who believes that magic is simply the manifestation of certain mental and physical abilities. Being a magical creature, however, Kojoro believes that magic is simply the ability to utilize energies and forces as yet unrecognized by science.

As fascinating as all this is, however, Differel tries to steer the conversation back to the Draugr, when Masie alerts them that a group has penetrated the house's perimeter and are attacking. As Differel, Giovanna, and the girls take up weapons and Kojoro conjures up a katana, creatures break down the doors and flood into the house. They resemble a cross between zombies and vampires, in that they resemble zombies and try to tear and bite, but they are intelligent and display vampiric powers. Though the women are able to handle them, there are so many that they are surrounded and pressed in upon. At that moment a figure crashes through a window. It is revealed to be an anthropomorphic wolf with pendulous breasts. It attacks the creatures in bloodlust abandon, tearing off heads and limbs and ripping out throats. With its help, the women dispatch the rest of the creatures. When the fighting is over, the werewolf stands in the midst of the bodies still filled with battle lust and howls. Sunny approaches it, despite warnings from everyone except Eile. It turns towards her and seems to make ready to attack, when it sniffs at her and relaxes. Sunny offers a hand; it sniffs the palm, then licks it. Sunny embraces it, despite the fact that it is so much bigger than she is, and it begins to convulse as it changes back to human form. Eile explains that this is Fael Cayleen's lycanthropic form, and that she and Sunny are clan sisters, since they both have the same strain of virus. Once the transformation is complete, Fael becomes a tall, muscular, butch woman with tattoos and a punkish hairstyle.

As Sunny takes charge of Fael, the others collect the bodies and dispose of them in the empty outdoor swimming pool, except for one that Giovanna takes into a basement lab for study. Kojoro cleans up the mess while Differel and Eile decide to get some sleep. Differel's body thinks it's early evening, but she got little sleep during the day or the night before and she wants to get back to the Dreamlands as soon as possible. She makes a cup of tea to take up with her, but as she leaves the kitchen, Dracula appears and seizes her by the neck. He is in the process of crushing her spine when a flash of light appears behind him and a hand rams its way through his chest. He drops her and vanishes in a black shadow. As she recovers, she looks up and sees a tall, willowy, elegant woman standing over her. She helps her up and introduces herself as Wilhelmina Murray, adding that Differel may know her better as Mina Harker. She reports that Medb had sent her to protect her from Dracula. The former queen will arrive in the morning, but meanwhile she should ask Elatha in the Dreamlands about Biróg. Differel is suspicious, but she did save her life, so she permits her to stay in the bedroom to watch over her.

In the dreamlands, Differel and Victor fly to Hazuth-Kleg and confront Elatha. He seems genuinely surprised by the revelation, and her description of the creatures that attacked the house unsettles him. He explains that they were barrow-wights, the servants of a Draugr. Like vampires or zombies, they are created from Humans who have become infected with a contagion, though in this case one bred by the Draugr. As for Biróg, she is the worst sort of Draugr, what Humans have called a Lich. However, a Lich is merely a Draugr that has become powerful enough that it no longer needs the energy of its resting place to sustain itself. The interesting thing is that both Dracula and Uallach Ruadhríon sought to become Draugr, but made the same mistake: taking the ichor of a dormant vampire rather than a vanquished Draugr. Differel realizes he's being obscure and evasive, most likely deliberately, but she resists the urge to ask for more details. None of this is particularly important.

Biróg is not her real name, it's simply what she has come to be called. Between the years that the oceans swallowed Atlantis and the rise of the Aryas, there were civilizations unknown to Humans now lost forever in the gulf of time. The earliest of these was known as Thuria. It was the age of Kull, the Atlantean barbarian who became king of Valusia. Biróg lived some two centuries before Kull, in the kingdom of Kamelia. She was a priestess of Hecate, the goddess of darkness, night, the New Moon, and all that dwells therein, and she was a sorceress, who dabbled in the thaumaturgic and alchemical arts. However, she was not content with either being a simple priestess or with a normal Human lifespan. She craved power and immortality, and dedicated herself to Hecate's third aspect, the Terrible Visage, which all the other hierophants shunned. She researched and discovered a way to extend her life beyond mortality, using the ichor of a Draugr as the core ingredient. In so doing, she became a Draugr herself, but she continued her studies and discovered how to absorb power from the earth, much as Medb is able to do. In that way, she escaped her tomb and was free to roam the world at will. She is a powerful and terrible evil, that seeks only domination, to enslave all that lives to her will, and recreate the world into a nightmare realm. With Dracula as her thrall, she now has power that exceeds anything Humans, Vampires, or Fomorians and wield; he would make her invincible. He regrets that he cannot help, but he encourages her to contact his kind, because even Ceithlenn would put aside her animosity to combat this common foe.

When he has nothing more to give, Differel and Victor leave. After they are gone, Bres questions Elatha as to why he was so forthcoming. Elatha explains that he owes her a debt he must repay, and Biróg is a danger to them as well as her. However, there is the probability that this is one adventure that she may not survive. It is worth encouraging her in the hope she will be destroyed by her family's own creation.

The next morning, Medb arrives before breakfast, but she isn't alone: Ceithlenn and Uallach are with her. Introductions are made over breakfast, but Mina is the major point of interest. Medb describes her as a dhampyr, a Human-Vampire hybrid. Vampires are sterile, but sometimes a Human is not completely transformed, for whatever reason. Though characteristics differ from individual to individual, for the most part dhampyri have no or only a slight torpor cycle, and have a thirst for blood but no actual Hunger, but also possess Vampiric powers. Dracula forced Mina to drink some of his blood, but she didn't get enough to undergo complete transformation. Even so, she has many of his powers, and is the only person, other than Medb herself, capable of going head-to-head against him. Not that she wants to do that, but it may be necessary.

Kojoro then realizes they are being watched. She reverts to her normal form and forces Leannán Soit, the Serpent Woman that kidnapped Differel, to reveal herself. However, she is not there to do battle. Biróg is a threat to them all and she wants to join forces with them. She doesn't know where to find her, but she believes she knows how she is controlling Dracula. Differel asks what concession she expects for her help, but she replies nothing. Ssas'sashu'ra is a friend of hers, and she has told her that Differel Van Helsing is an honorable Human. Differel accepts her word for the time being, but she remains suspicious.

Medb explains that she asked Ceithlenn and Uallach to join them for their magical prowess, and as long as Soit is sincere, she is welcome for the same reason. Biróg is older than all but Ceithlenn and Soit, but she is more powerful then them. They will need their combined strength to deal with her. Soit explains that the Serpent People have been trying to find a way around the Vampiric immunity to hypnotic control. The problem is the parasite. Not only does it destroy any invader of its host, such as the Fomorian embryo, it is too unintelligent to control directly, and it does little good to control the Human host when the parasite can exert control using the Hunger. However, Dracula can control his Hunger. His parasites still render infestational control impossible, but direct control of his mind becomes possible. Of course, he is very strong-willed and powerful, but there are ways around that. She believes Biróg gained control by mimicking Differel, thereby making him believe she is his master. Unfortunately, her hold cannot be broken from the outside; Differel will have to go inside Dracula's mind and do battle with her there. Kojoro knows a spell that can form a mind gate, but Dracula will have to be held motionless for it to work, or the connection will be broken. Medb believes she, Ceithlenn, and Uallach can hold him, but what of Biróg? Soit states that she and Kojoro should be able to deal with her. That would leave Mina, Giovanna, and Fael to deal with any minions who might interfere, while the girls accompany Differel.

The question remains, however, where to find her. Fael believes she might know. For some time her scouts have reported strange activity in an isolated and deserted valley. It contains the ruins of an Indian city and holy site. She believes Biróg may be there. In any event, it's their best hope. She will not commit her people to the fight, but she will help Sunny her clan sister. The valley is two days journey away through rough, mountainous country, and there has been snowfall recently. Medb has all the gear they'll need and Differel can get help from Gen. Ross. They spend the rest of the day preparing and packing as they plan the journey. Ross provides satellite photos and promises reinforcements to help mop up, but she cannot get directly involved unless they find something. Later they go into Steamboat Springs to shop for winter traveling clothes. Afterwards, they enjoy a fine meal and go to bed, taking turns at standing guard. Differel takes the first watch so that her Dream time will not be interrupted, barring an attack. However, the night passes peacefully.

In the Dreamworld, Differel tells Victor it may be awhile before she can come back. They make the most of their time together.

The next morning they leave before dawn to get a good head start. It starts off cold, and while it turns into a sunny day, the forest is thick enough that little of the light penetrates, so the air remains cold. The snow makes the journey arduous, but fortunately it isn't too deep except in a few places which can be avoided. Snowshoe Kitty had gotten out at one point and refused to go back inside the safe house, so they bring her along. She travels with Eile, lying on top of her pack. Fael leads the way, as Medb brings up the rear and Mina scouts ahead. Except for occasional rests, they stop only for a cold lunch at midday. Of all the women, Uallach has the toughest time. She had taken Mabuse's serum that depresses her parasites, so that she can come out in the daytime, but it also suppresses her vampiric powers, and without them her strength and stamina are less than the others, even that of the girls, but she perseveres with Giovanna's help, though she is exhausted by the end of the day. Finally, in late afternoon, Medb selects a suitable location and they make camp. There are no tents, they're traveling light, but the sleeping bags are thermal insulated and have heating units run off of batteries. Medb permits a small fire for comfort, but the cooking is done with a portable stove. Sunny whips up a delicious meal which lifts everyone's spirits and afterwards most sit around the fire, talking and laughing. Soit retires to her sleeping bag, however, though Medb explains that as a reptile she feels the cold worse than they do, and Ceithlenn and Uallach are their usual somber selves, but the Vampire surprises everyone when she sings an epic ballad, and the Fomorian regales them all with the telling of an ancient legend. Finally they retire but agree to taking guard shifts two at a time. Medb takes the first watch alone. Differel stays up long enough to have some tea and a smoke, and they talk while the girls giggle and fool around inside their sleeping bag.

Later Differel is keeping watch with Fael. She mentions that she's encountered werewolves in England, but they have all been rogues. There are rumors of lycanthrope villages, but the Order has never confirmed them. Fael states that transformation can become addictive, and many people succumb to the lure of being in the werewolf form as much as possible. Most, however, understand the danger and seek to live apart. If the villages have been able to keep their secrets for so long, they are not a threat and just wish to be left alone.

Then she stops and becomes alert. When Differel asks what's wrong, Fael responds by taking her clothes off. Differel is about to object when she realizes she is going to transform. As she does so, Differel see glowing red eyes in the woods around them closing in. She blows a whistle to wake the others up as Fael howls, then conjures up Caliburn and starts shooting away with her pistol as Fael crashes into the woods. Wights swarm into the camp. Medb, Kojoro, and Giovanna begin attacking immediately. Ceithlenn turns into her beautiful-but-terrible form and cuts down wights left and right with her scythe. Mina protects Uallach as she throws spells. The girls have trouble getting out of their sleeping bag and are beset by wights, when Snowshoe Kitty in her knight armor with sword and shield attacks, giving them a chance to collect themselves. At one point Differel sees a couple of wights drag away Soit's sleeping bag. Uallach blasts them and the girls drag her back as Differel covers them. Dracula appears, and Mina takes him on, but even with her strength he gains the upper hand. Then a high-pitched whine fills the camp. the women hear it but it does not bother them, however, the wights react as if in pain and run off. Medb, Ceithlenn, and Uallach surround Dracula, but before they can act he vanishes, taking Mina with him.

The whine shuts off and Soit jumps down out of a tree. She reveals that her robe is temperature controlled, but she wanted to see if the others would risk their lives to save her. She is impressed they did; altruism was a trait she assumed belonged only to Serpent People. In any event, she wasn't sure if her invention would work, but her studies had revealed that wights were sensitive to certain frequencies of sound.

Fael returns and the women decide to break camp and set out immediately. Fael can navigate in the dark and the ground snow casts enough reflected light to see by. They stop in the morning to eat, then press on. By noon they reach the valley. Fael and Giovanna reconnoiter and discover a way down to the ruins. Soit reveals a device that can render them all invisible as long as they stay close together, and they use it to get past the wights in the plaza. They enter a temple and in the ceremonial chamber they find Biróg attempting to gain control of Mina. Medb blasts Dracula, releasing Mina, who attacks Biróg with Soit's help. Medb, Ceithlenn, and Uallach surround Dracula and bind him in a magical energy field. Fael transforms and she and Giovanna guard the entrance against the wights trying to get in. Kojoro opens the gate into Dracula's mind and Differel, the girls, and Kitty run through. Kojoro then joins Mina and Soit to keep Biróg busy.

Inside Dracula's mind, they find themselves inside what appears to be a labyrinthine mausoleum. As soon as they appear, they are beset by wights. The shotguns the girls had have become a sword for Eile and a bow for Sunny. Differel loses her pistol, but she can summon Caliburn. Though they cut down wights right and left, their numbers are inexhaustible. As are Sunny's arrows and their stamina, but they can be wounded, and it hurts. They flee, and the wights keep them on the run, so they don't have time to try to try to negotiate the labyrinth. However, Sunny realizes they're being herded. At one point, Kitty stays behind to block an intersection, sacrificing herself to give the girls and Differel a chance to get away, but they are cut off by more wights. Eventually they emerge into the center, a circular chamber identical to the temple holy of holies. There, they see what looks like Differel standing over a cowering Dracula, taunting and browbeating him. Differel and the girls try to interfere, but the girls are caught by ropey tendrils, and Biróg-as-Differel subdues the real Differel. She then tries to break her will, to make her her slave. The girls encourage her to fight, to call upon her stubbornness and anger for strength. It works at first, but she begins to weaken.

Then Kitty appears and frees the girls. Sunny realizes that as a part of Dracula's mind, she can call upon his power. Using what she learned in the Dreamlands, she forces Biróg-as-Differel, who is weakened from expending power in two places at once, to release Differel, then to shed her disguise. She then holds her as Eile and Kitty hold off the wights trying to come to the aid of their mistress.

Differel confronts Dracula. He recognizes her as his master, but cowers in fear. Differel is stern, but encouraging, telling him that while he is bound to the Van Helsing bloodline, he fears no one. He serves her out of loyalty, honor, yes, even love, but not terror. He serves willingly, as the vanquished serves the conqueror, as the menial serves the master, as the monster serves the man, but not out of coercion. He is a weapon she can wield, a thrall she can command, but he is also her advisor, her confidant, her friend. She would no more hate him than she would her own right arm; she would no more bully him than she would her own body; and she would no more squander him in a foolish wasteful manner than she would her own talent and abilities. He is a part of her, and without him she is diminished by an amount greater than just the subtraction of his part. She holds out her hand, he takes it, and she helps him to rise. As soon as he is on his feet, he gives her a familiar leer. Bellowing, "I am back!", he turns to shadow, expands, and engulfs the entire chamber.

Despite the ferocity of their attacks, Giovanna and Fael have taken serious wounds and are pushed back. As the wights swarm over them and into the chamber, Dracula turns to shadow and pulses, breaking the energy field and throwing Medb, Ceithlenn, and Uallach aside. Differel, the girls, and Kitty are expelled from the shadow, and the wights explode into dust. Mina, Soit, and Kojoro make way as the shadow-Dracula sweeps upon Biróg. It engulfs her, then she is expelled and crumbles into dust and bits of bone. However, when Dracula reforms, the dust and bone swirl up as if in a whirlwind, coalesce into a humanoid shape, then vanish. Ceithlenn states that Biróg is defeated for now, but cannot be finally destroyed. She will return.

The threat eliminated for the time being, Ceithlenn and Soit leave. Ceithlenn simply vanishes, but before Soit takes off, Differel offers to open talks with her about establishing an armistice and coming to equitable terms. The Serpent Woman states she will think about it, then disappears. Kitty is back to normal, but Differel, the girls, Giovanna, and Fael have no memory of her knightly transformation. Fael heals herself as she transform back to human, but Uallach's serum is wearing off and she'll need to sleep, and Giovanna will heal but needs blood and rest. Fael leads them to her clan's village and they arrive by nightfall. Uallach and Giovanna are given guest quarters, and the girls will stay with them until they recover. Medb and Kojoro head back to the safe house, where Medb will make a full report to Gen. Ross. The girls and Giovanna will then meet them there for the return trip home. Differel and Dracula take their leave, and Mina will return with them. She came only at the request of Medb and with the permission of the Queen, and now that the crisis has passed, she must return. When Differel and the girls express surprise that the Queen is served by her own vampire, sort of, Mina smiles ruefully and asks if they really believed Differel was the only Englishwoman with her own monster. Dracula's only comment is a sneering leer.

Uallach sleeps the rest of the day and through much of the night, awakening before dawn. She feeds on blood donated by the girls and then takes her leave. By morning, Giovanna has healed sufficiently that she can return to the safe house. Fael escorts her and the girls there, then returns to her clan. It is decided to let Giovanna rest for another night; they can leave in the morning. That afternoon, Differel returns with Dracula. She informs the girls that, having received a favorable report from Mina and herself, the Queen has awarded them with the Queen's Commendation for Bravery. She presents them each with a ribbon bearing a silver oak leaf. At the very least, they will make good companion pieces for their Presidential Medals of Freedom and Congressional Gold Medals.

Synopsis: Bandit Loot (a Team Girl adventure)

Thanks to a windfall in their design business, Eile and Sunny decide to spend a weekend antique shopping in the mountain towns. At the last store in the last town they find a nude oil portrait of Medb hErenn from the late 1800's and buy it to surprise her. When they get it home they try to clean up the frame, but decide it isn't dirty, just crappy, so the remove the portrait to reframe it. As soon as they remove the paper backing, however, they find what looks like a hand-drawn map on the back of the canvas. They take a digital picture of it and enhance it in their computer. Sunny decides it's a treasure map, leading perhaps to a cache of secret Confederate gold, or a lost mine. Eile's skeptical, but there are two clues. One is the name of the starting location, a town called Querida. The other is a signature. The scrawl is hard to read, but it looks like July Bini. They email Medb, asking if either of those names rings a bell, then they clean up, have dinner, watch a movie, and go to bed.

In the morning, Eile goes to their office to start work on a design for a repeat client, when she discovers that Medb sent a reply. She explains that she knew a Jules Beni in Querida, which was a mountain mining town, back in 1882. She had several mining interests around the town, including shares in the Bassick mine, and ran a brothel, saloon, general store, and hotel. He spent a fair amount of money on her, wining and dining her as if courting her. He even commissioned a painting of her, which she had hung over the bar in the brothel. Before the year was out, however, he was killed in duel by a man named Jack Slade. She then asks why they asked. When Eile shows the email to Sunny, she gets excited and convinces Eile to let her have the computer for the morning. Eile goes off to buy design supplies, and when she returns she and Sunny make lunch.

Sunny explains that her Internet search reveals that Jules Beni was a notorious outlaw, who is suspected of robbing a shipment of gold and silver bars from the Bassick mine to Denver. He was supposedly helped by a gang of five men, one of whom was Jack Slade, a famous gunslinger. According to the legend, they ambushed the wagons when they passed through a narrow gorge. Beni and four men took $25,000 in bars into the mountains, the Sangre de Diablos, and hid it somewhere, while Slade met a contact who would fence the bars. Beni returned to Querida alone and met with Slade, receiving his share of the advance money. The local authorities couldn't prove anything, so Beni and Slade were never arrested, but they soon had a falling out, when Beni refused to reveal where he had hidden the bars. It came to a head when Slade challenged Beni to a duel, and shot and killed him inside the town brothel. After that, local vigilantes seized Slade while he was in a drunken stupor and hanged him for disturbing the peace. The loot has never been found, though many people have tried, but their fates seem to be to either return empty-handed, or not at all, leading people to claim that the loot is cursed.

Sunny gets treasure fever, and wants to find and claim the loot. Eile is intrigued enough to agree, but she won't go off half-cocked. They explain to Medb what they've discovered and their intention to track it down. She gets back to them almost immediately. She tells them that she remembers waking up one night and seeing Beni drawing on the back of the finished canvas before it was scheduled to be framed. She didn't consider that remarkable and largely forgot about it. She remembers the rumors circulating at that time, but she paid them no heed. She considers the matter unimportant, and has no objection to them searching for the loot. They next contact Sunny's parents. They approve of their venture and offer to finance it for a share of the proceeds. That gives them an idea. They contact Differel and Giovanna to solicit funds from them as well in exchange for shares, and both make donations. However, when they try to ask Shasta Taffeday if she would like to accompany them, they find out she's out of the country.

The next day, they head south along the Front Range, and Kitty comes with them. They stop in Pueblo for lunch and to shop for camping equipment and supplies, then head west, arriving in Querida late afternoon, in the shadow of Hardscrabble Mountain. A ghost town it may have been, but they discover it has been turned into a tourist trap. Four buildings are present, made to look old but in fact quite modern: the brothel (really a museum), saloon (really a bar and grill), general store (really a trading post), and hotel. The latter is more of a bed and breakfast. It's the off-season, so they have no trouble getting a room. They enquire about camping excursions into the mountains and find out there are a number of trails for three-days, five-days, a week, or ten-days. They can rent horses and/or pack mules at the "livery stable" behind the B&B. The proprietors suggest they take "The Lost Mine Trail", which retraces the route Jules Beni took to hide the loot he stole. It's a ten-day round trip, and they can spend extra time at the Caves to search for the loot. They are even given brochures that show a reproduction of their map.

They get the feeling that they are victims of a practical joke. They had told Medb about their planned trip shopping for antiques. Eile is pretty certain that somehow Medb planted the painting, hoping they would find it, and counting on their love for adventure to do the rest. Sunny is skeptical, but she cannot refute her spouse's reasoning, and it could explain why her parents and their friends were so eager to help them out. Disappointed, they have dinner at the saloon, then retire early. They discuss their options as they snuggle, and pretty much decide to just go home. They fall asleep scheming about how to get back at everyone.

In the morning, though, they have sex, which makes them feel better. During breakfast they decided, what the hell, as long as they're there, might as well take the trail and see what all the fuss is about. Besides, it'll serve everyone right if they spend all their money, to the last penny. They change into their traveling clothes, have their gear and supplies packed on two mules, saddle a couple of horses, and by mid-morning are on the trail, with Kitty lying on Eile's saddlebags. The trail leads into the mountains in the general direction of Mock Hill, though more north then east, and soon the views become spectacular. They take lots of pictures and video to show everyone back home. They reach the first "landmark" and find a prepared campground, with a brick fireplace stove, latrines, and a shower. There's even an open shed for the animals and a water tank. They unpack, take care of the animals, and set up camp, then Sunny cooks supper. Afterwards they sit outside the tent and watch the sky darken as the stars come out and meteors flash across the sky. They discuss that perhaps their family and friends aren't playing a joke on them; maybe this is their way of giving them a honeymoon, after the first one didn't work. Deciding not to waste any time, they get undressed and make love under the stars.

The second day is even better than the first, but about mid-day on the third day, Sunny notices a discrepancy. Their map and the trail brochure don't show it, but their trail takes a dogleg north at a junction with another, rougher, more natural path that heads due east. Sunny gets the feeling that that is the true path to the lost loot. Eile is still convinced the whole setup's a hoax, though she's no longer angry, so they keep on the trail, but when they arrive at the third landmark, it's immediately obvious that it's manmade, whereas the first two had been natural. To an ordinary tourist, suspending her disbelief while at the same time figuring that the story is really just a legend, that would not be unusual; it would all be part of the gag. But if the legend is true, then there's the possibility that the tourist trap and the kitschy legend and the trail are all meant to mislead people into believing there is no loot, and so keep them from looking for it. Regardless, there's only one way to find out. They stay the night at the campsite, but in the morning retrace their steps and get off at the old worn path, which points straight as an arrow towards Mock Hill. Eile doesn't want to get lost in the mountains, but they have a special satellite phone Mabuse gave them, and if the trail disappears or it gets dark before they find anything, they can always turn back. Sunny, however, has gotten her gold fever back, and she's confident they'll reach the third landmark before dark, since so far each previous has been at the end of a full day's travel. Dusk begins to approach, and they don't find anything; even Sunny is getting worried, and Eile keeps an eye out for a place to camp. Then they emerge into a clearing, and in the rock face of a cliff is the third landmark, this time a natural part of the rock. Even Sunny is flabbergasted, but when the shock wears off they feel elation: they're on the right track!

Of course, there's no campsite, but there is running water, a place to dig catholes to relieve themselves, dead wood for a fire, and sheltering trees for the animals. That makes sense; if Beni chose the landmarks to indicate the way to go, they would probably be in places where seekers could camp. Their map shows two major landmarks left, but also a few minor ones to indicate changes in direction. Since it's been over 130 years, the major ones may still be visible, but the minor ones may be erased or changed beyond recognition, but they agree that if they lose the trail they will turn back and try to pick it up again rather than push on. Kitty goes off into the woods, but just when the Girls get worried she comes back, licking her chops, and then she sits by the fire and grooms herself. They sit up past sundown, listening to the sounds of the forest. Several times Kitty comes alert, as if sensing something only she can detect, but after a few moments she relaxes. Finally they go to bed, but before they fall asleep they reminisce on how they haven't roughed it like this since their Dream-deaths destroyed their ability to reenter the Dreamlands.

The next day is more arduous, as the trail gets rougher, and twice they have to dismount to lead the animals over debris blocking the path, but they find all the places where they must change direction without too much difficulty. Despite the twists and turns, however, whenever there is a break in the trees they see Mock Hill ahead of them. The fourth landmark is a multistep waterfall and a pool. After taking care of the animals and setting up camp, they go for a swim and make love under the cascade. The next morning they follow outflow, and it takes them into a narrow gorge with very high walls. As they block off the sun, it gets dark and spooky; the Girls and the animals get nervous, but Kitty seems more curious than frightened. Further on the shadows seem to move, then they start to see silhouettes of people, indistinct but definitely anthropomorphic. The atmosphere gets gloomy, then obscures, as if by a mist, except there is no mist. The animals begin to react in fear, and the Girls must dismount to keep them under control.

Suddenly, Kitty runs off ahead of them. The Girls tie the train to a rock outcrop and chase after her. The gorge suddenly opens into a wide bowl containing what looks like a medicine wheel. Everything glows an eldritch blue. Kitty sits on the center mound of rocks, but looking away from them. As they approach her, figures form out of the glow: they look like Indians, but they are translucent and made of vapor, their clothes and tools looked decayed, and their skin is covered with rotting sores. At first Eile thinks they are just dark spirits, but then she realizes they are the result of disease. She figures the Indians died of a horrible plague.

When they reach Kitty, the spirits surround them. The Girls can feel their hatred towards them; it's so strong they feel terrified. Sunny identifies them as a kind of hungry ghost, except they hunger for revenge. Eile figures white men must have killed them by giving them some kind of sickness, and now they want to kill any white person that comes into their grasp. Sunny shouts that they had no part in that, that they hate people who would do that, but the ghosts do not seem to listen. One steps forward, as if to attack them, but it stops in front of kitty. Cat and ghost stare at each other for some time. Neither say a word, but the other ghosts begin chanting and dancing. As they do so, their sores heal and their bodies grow strong and healthy. The dancing and chanting becomes more energetic, then the ghosts lift off the ground and fly about. They merge into a whirlwind, which expands, and disappears into the rock walls. The chanting ends, but one ghost, the one who confronted kitty, remains. He smiles and fades away. The Girls go up to Kitty, who stares at them, and they see on the ground, where the ghost had stood, a totem necklace of silver, opal, and turquoise.

They go back to retrieve the horses and mules, and are relieved they are still there. They realize now what probably happened to the searchers who never came back. They have no idea why they were spared. They want to ask Kitty about it, but they know she would never respond. Sunny speculates that it's because Eile has Indian blood, but Eile doesn't believe it's enough to matter. In any event, Sunny puts on the necklace, and they make it out of the gorge with no further incident. The rest of the trip is uneventful, and by late afternoon they arrive at the last landmark at the base of Mock Hill. However, there is no place there to hide a loot of bars. The map seems to indicate that the loot is hidden in a cave somewhere up the slope, but the only clue to its location is a rhyme:

"Hen's teeth and horse's toes / Lead the way to silver and gold."

It makes no sense, but they are too tired to think about it, so they take care of the animals, set up camp, and have supper. Afterwards they sit for a time by the fire, singing and drinking, and after a while it almost seems as if they can hear from far off drumming and chanting. They dance to the beat around the fire, wordlessly singing the tune, and Sunny swears she can feel the presence of the ghosts around them, though they don't see anything. Finally they realize the drumming and chanting has stopped, and just chalk it up to being tipsy. They go to bed and make love before falling asleep.

In the morning they are awakened by the sound of helicopters overhead. Thinking that Medb has come to visit them, they get dressed and follow the noise downslope to a clearing, but from the edge of the woods they see a dozen armed men get out, accompanied by Marseilles Sheraton. They race back to their camp and grab their guns, blankets, canteens, and travel food, and head upslope, looking for a hiding place. They find the caves, and one looks down on their camp. Through binoculars they see Sheraton and the men enter the camp. The celebutante pans a device around the area as the men conduct a search, and she goes to one of the saddles to remove something small. The Girls realize she must have somehow found out about their expedition and planted a homing device. Obviously she wants the loot for herself, and since she wants the two of them dead, if she catches them they will just become another couple of searchers who do not come back. Even if Medb comes looking for them, she might never find their bodies. Their only hope is to put in a call to Medb to alert her -- and Eile curses their stupidity for leaving the satellite phone behind!

Meanwhile, Sheraton has her Abyssinian cat partner, and it figures out where they went. It heads upslope, with Sheraton and 2/3's of the men following. The Girls break cover and start searching for a cave to hide in, when they pass a tree. It grew up crooked, with two folds of bark sticking out that look like a bird's beak. Someone had jammed round stones between the folds, and at first glance it looks like a grinning hen! Above them is a group of cave mouths atop a steep but rugged cliff; to reach them they must expose themselves, but it's the only way up, and if they make it they can hold off their pursuers indefinitely. They start climbing, and after a short while they hear ricochets as bullets bounce off the rock face followed by rifle shots. They're not out of range, but they are too far to get a good aim. After half a dozen shots that start coming too close, they barely hear Sheraton shouting that she wants them alive.

They reach the top of the cliff and assess the situation. They gather large stones and big pieces of dead wood, and place them behind a boulder they can use for cover. They will use their guns only as a last resort, since they only have 8 round apiece. As they collect what they can, Eile notices a rock formation that looks like the bones of a horse's leg, except each has three toes. It's right below a cave mouth that looks barely big enough to crawl through. Before she can alert Sunny, however, she hears Sheraton shouting up at them. The Girls go back to the cliff, and Kittle shows herself. Sheraton tries to get them to come down, promising to let them go. All they want is the loot. When Eile doubts her word, she responds that she's never lied to them. Just as they can trust her word when she told them what she would do to them if she ever caught them, they can trust her word now. One of the men step forward; he introduces himself as Wendell Beni, the great-great-grandson of Jules Beni. He argues that the loot is rightfully his; any statute of limitations would be up by now, and he has inherited it from his ancestor. However, if they know where it is, he will share it with them, a 70-30 split. When they ask about Sheraton, she replies that she had no interest in a fool's errand, so she's working for a flat fee, and she's already been paid.

The Girls discuss it between themselves. They're only interest was to satisfy their curiosity, and maybe get some publicity; they would welcome the money, but they knew they couldn't take it all out by themselves, and once they alerted the authorities that best they could hope for would be something like a 10% reward. So Beni's offer sounds good, and they can always tell Medb afterwards and let her deal with him. Besides, Sheraton is right; they're outnumbered, outgunned, and their food and water will only last a few days at most. Yes of course, he could try to double-cross them, but they do believe Sheraton will keep her word, and she wants to kill them herself so badly that she won't let anyone else do it.

But Eile asks for time to think about it, much to Sunny's surprise. The man wants to know how long, but Eile can see from Sheraton's expression that she knows they're up to something. She demands an immediate answer; Eile replies by throwing a rock at her. She and the men get under cover while the Girls duck behind the boulder. The men start shooting, but sporadically, as if trying to keep them pinned down. When Sunny asks what's going on, Eile reminds her they don't know where the loot is. She wanted time to find it before agreeing, but Sheraton knows them too well, and threw a monkey wrench into her plan. She has an idea where it might be, but they can't now check it out. They also need an alternative plan.

Kitty warns them, and they see four men climbing the cliff face. They break cover, hoping they won't shoot them down, and hurl rocks down on the men. Shots come very close, but they are too easy a pair of targets not to miss, and they take advantage of that. Two men get knocked off while the other two retreat, one falling and injuring himself. The Girls get back under cover and Sunny suggests she try to get back to camp to retrieve the satellite phone while Eile keeps them busy. Eile reluctantly agrees, and Kitty goes with her. Eile throws rocks and pieces of wood, and twice more has to fend off climbers, but at one point she notices the Abyssinian retreating. Unfortunately, she can't do anything about it.

Sunny finds a way down the slope with Kitty's help, and she leads her back to the camp. The four men left behind found the bottle of whiskey and pass it around, standing with their backs to the tent. Sunny manages to sneak inside, but as she come out with the phone, the Abyssinian ambushes her, alerting the men. The cat keeps her trapped and the men catch her.

Eile gets concerned when she sees the Abyssinian return, and when Sheraton orders the men to lie low, and her fears are confirmed when the four men left at the camp appear with Sunny. One gives Sheraton the satellite phone, and she throws it into a rocky ravine. She then demands that Eile surrender, or she'll kill Sunny. Eile calls her bluff, and Sheraton points a shotgun at her head. Eile breaks cover and points her gun at Sheraton, creating a standoff. The men aim at Eile, and Sheraton refuses to back down. Eile realizes she's willing to die if she can take both them with her. The Abyssinian appears on the boulder, ready to jump on her, but Kitty confronts it, creating another standoff. Eile talks to Beni, telling him if Sheraton lets Sunny go, she'll surrender and show him where the loot is; otherwise, she and Sunny will be dead and he'll never get his hands on it. Beni agrees, and holds a gun on Sheraton as he takes away her shotgun, but he points the gun at Sunny until Eile empties her pistol and tosses it down.

The men climb up with Sheraton, but Beni puts her with Eile and Sunny. He states that he's disappointed she hadn't agreed to a percentage, but the loot will more than cover for the loss. Eile takes them to the cave, and Beni orders her, Sunny, and Marseilles to go inside. The tunnel is narrow, but the three of them manage to make it through. The only obstacle is a big rattlesnake, but Kitty and the Abyssinian kill it. Then the tunnel opens into a large chamber. In the back are dozens of rattlesnakes, seeking shelter from the heat of the day, but in the foreground are a dozen canvas sacks. They open one, and find it filled with a dozen or so gold and silver bars. Eile crawls back to get a rope, and one by one they tie a bag to the rope for the men to pull out, then one of them crawls back to retrieve it. It takes the rest of the day, but by evening they have all the bags removed. Before the ladies can crawl out, however, Beni has the entrance covered, trapping them.

Fortunately, Kitty and the Abyssinian find a way out: another tunnel that leads to an opening upslope. The three ladies watch as the men carry the bags down to the helicopter. The Girls would rather just let them leave, then go back to Querida to contact Medb, but Sheraton explains that there is more at stake than just the loot. Beni is an arms merchant. He wants the loot to pay for black market Soviet nuclear weapons, which he sold to a number of terrorist groups. She had arranged the sales, and only agreed to figure out a way to find the loot to keep the Russian mob or the terrorists from killing her for what they would think is a swindle. Beni had found the portrait of Medb in a discount art store of all places, and had discovered the map on the back. He used it as collateral to arrange credit for the purchase of the nukes, then used the nukes as collateral to obtain payment from the terrorists. He hoped to use the latter to pay off the former, but the bagman for the terrorists refused to hand over payment until the nukes were delivered, and the arms black marketers refused to hand over the nukes until they received payment. Meanwhile, both threatened to kill him if he did not follow through on the deals, and since she vouched for him, her neck is on the chopping block too. She figured that if anyone could find the loot, it was Team Girl, so she arranged for them to find the portrait and planted the tracking device to follow them. She almost thought that her gambit had failed until the Girls took the alternative path. Even then, she wasn't sure the loot actually existed until they found it. Unfortunately, now that Beni has betrayed her, her life will still be in danger even if he makes his payment and delivers the nukes, so the only way she can save her life is to kill Beni now, before he can get away. As far as the Girls are concerned, however, they want to stop the deal, to keep the terrorists from getting nukes. Unfortunately, the three of them together can't stop a dozen armed men all alone, and Sheraton herself made calling for help impossible.

Then Sunny gets an idea. They head back to their camp and start a large fire. Eile figures out what she has in mind, and gives Sheraton an empty tub to pound out a beat on. Sheraton thinks they're crazy and starts to leave, but her Abyssinian partner convinces her to stay and help. Eile plays the beat of the drumming they heard the night before, and as Sheraton plays it continuously, the Girls dance around the fire and wordlessly sing the chant. It isn't long before Eile feels the ghosts gather around them, and she can hear them drum-beating and chanting as well. She even sees them, dancing around them, and finally the lead ghost approaches them. The Girls hold hands as Kitty jumps up on Eile's shoulders and face the leader. Sheraton joins them, and the Abyssinian gets up on her shoulders as well.

Sunny tries to explain that in the nearby clearing, a group of dangerous men are preparing to leave. She tries to describe nukes and the effects they'll have, especially radiation sickness, but Eile isn't sure she's getting through to him. Then four of the men enter the clearing, attracted by the sound of the chanting. They panic when they see the ghosts and open fire. The ghosts attack them as the three ladies dive for cover. They catch three of the men, and as they watch the men are practically rotted to dust in moments. The fourth man flees, and the ghosts give chase. The Girls and Sheraton follow, but pause at the edge of the clearing to watch from cover. The ghosts fly at the helicopter; the terrified men open fire, but to no effect; all they manage to do is shoot some of their own, and the rest are killed by the ghosts. Beni panics and takes off, but as he tries to fly off over a steep rocky downslope the leader grows to gigantic size and gets in his way. He throws the helicopter to one side and drops, but catches his blades on the rock wall. The blades shear away, the helicopter falls, and it crashes and tumbles down the slope, exploding halfway down.

Eile, Sunny, and Sheraton come out of hiding and approach the ghosts. All except the leader chant and dance, and turn into a whirlwind that enlarges and disperses as they vanish, as in the gorge. The leader smiles at them and offers the girls beaded headbands; Eile gets the feeling he has adopted them into his tribe. He then glowers at Sheraton, turning dark and putrid, and points at her, but then fades away into nothing, leaving only a faint breeze that quickly dies. Eile sees that Sheraton is visibly shaken, and she figures she just got a warning from their new friends. Sunny wonders if the loot was destroyed in the crash. Eile doubts it, but the bars are probably now scattered all over the downslope and the floor of the valley. She figures people will probably continue to find them for a century or more, assuming anyone even looks there. As they turn to go back to the camp, though, Kitty gives them a triumphant meow, and they see her and the Abyssinian sitting next to a canvas bag.

The next morning they begin the five day trek back to Querida. They consolidate the equipment and supplies on one mule so Sheraton can ride the other, an indignity she bears with quiet dignity. During the trip she barely speaks to the Girls and refuses to engage them in conversation, but she pulls her own weight without complaint. If anything, Kitty and the Abyssinian get along better than Sheraton and the Girls. Once back at the tourist trap, however, she tells them this changes nothing, and she and the Abyssinian drive off. She wouldn't even accept a share of the loot.

The Girls find Medb waiting for them at the B&B. After they clean up, they tell their tale over dinner in the saloon. They are not sorry they unleashed the ghosts on Beni and his men; they would have caused the deaths of thousands, maybe even millions. They figure they deserve their fates. What concerns them is the bag of loot they brought back, namely, who really owns it. Medb explains that, legally, it belongs to the owners of the Bassick mine, and being the last living shareholder, that would be her. She has little interest in it, though, so she offers to let them keep it. They counted its contents one night: there are nine bars of gold and six of silver. They decide to keep one bar of each, and to use the rest to set up a trust fund for charity work. Medb offers to set it up, and they agree.

Sunny asks if she knows anything of the Indian ghosts. She confirms that a tribe once lived in that area, and the elder Beni had traded with them. That was how he knew of the caves. When he hid the loot, he gave the tribe gifts to keep them quiet, but one was purposely contaminated with plague-carrying fleas. The tribe contracted the Black Death and all died. There was nothing she could do to save them, but she laid a geas upon them so that they could not rest until they had taken their revenge. She regrets that innocents, very nearly including them, suffered for the Beni's crimes, but now that his descendent is dead, perhaps the tribe can rest. She had lived among them, and learned their ceremonies and rituals; as the only living members of the tribe they should know them as well. She offers to teach them to them when they return to Denver, and they agree. Afterwards she treats them to a show in the brothel recounting the legend of Jules Beni and the Bandit Loot of the Sangre de Diablos.

Ancient Roman Travel

With the extensive network of roads linking every part of the empire, especially the paved viae munita, it might be tempting to imagine that they did for Roman civilization what the system of canals and train tracks did for Great Britain during the Industrial Revolution, or the interstate highway system did for the United States during the latter half of the twentieth century.



That is, it encouraged social mobility and the cosmopolitanization of the empire as people of different nations, cultures, and races freely mixed. Unfortunately, this was not the case. The primary purpose of the road system, especially the viae munita, was the rapid movement and deployment of the legions. In fact, building the roads was a military responsibility, and it even had a military name: viam munire. In other words, the Roman state treated the roads as they did fortifications.

This is not to say that ordinary citizens were forbidden to use the roads; the legions didn't patrol the roads and crucify any non-military person they caught. It does, however, mean that they couldn't use them for free. Unless they were a legion on the march or government officials on state business, the roads were toll roads. Travelers usually paid the toll when they arrived at a town or city, but there were extra tolls for crossing bridges, and local patrician landowners might charge tolls for the stretch of road they were responsible for maintaining. Tolls also varied, depending upon whether a traveler was on foot, had a horse or cart, or was hauling freight. Merchants also had to pay import and export taxes as they moved goods through towns and provinces. And these were just the fees for using the roads; services along the way were extra.

Naturally enough, payment was moot if citizens didn't travel, and most didn't. The reasons varied; before Rome, travel was arduous and even dangerous, while during Rome it became safer, but costly. For the most part, however, there was no need to travel. For most people, everything they needed was in their village or town, or could be obtained locally. The reason was because industry was strictly local (I will have more to say on this in a future post). At best, a patrician landowner might journey from his country villa to his home in town and back again, and local free farmers and craftsmen would take occasional trips to sell their crops or goods at the nearest town market. Aside from the legions, the only exceptions were peddlers and local merchants (again, I will have more to say about this in a future post). Though some plebeians did relocate to other parts of the empire, generally only those who joined a legion got to see more than their native countryside, and even then a legionnaire might simply be stationed to some far-flung outpost for the 25 years of his term of service.

Nonetheless, if a citizen was inclined to travel and could afford it, there were a number of advantages that made it easier than in the time before the road system had been established. A seemingly minor item were the milestones set up at intervals along the roadsides. Called miliaria (singular, miliarium), they were circular columns set up on rectangular bases, some 20 inches in diameter and standing 5 feet tall, weighing as much as 2 tons. On them were inscribed the mile number for that road as well as the distance to the Forum in Rome. They were placed at 1000-pace intervals (4,841 feet), which defined the Roman mile (milia passuum). I say seemingly minor, because the accurate measurement of travel distances made trip planning practical, especially for the legions. A traveler now knew the exact distance between two locations, and thus could estimate his travel time with good precision. An even better aid was the itinerarium, an itinerary similar to that used by buses or trains, listing all the cities and towns along a specific route and the distances between them. The more expensive ones also possessed maps.

Unless a traveler planned a very short trip, many destinations, even intermediate ones, were too far away to reach in a single day's travel. The legions built their own camps each night, whereas officials on state business could stay at establishments called mansiones (singular, mansio). These were functioning villas that catered to their needs. They often had a permanent military camp nearby, both for protection and for the convenience of marching legions, and towns often became established in the same area as the more important mansiones. They were set about 20 miles apart, which was the distance an ox-drawn cart could cover in a day.

However, anyone wishing to use the facilities of a mansio had to present a passport to identify himself as legitimate official. As such, they were off limits to ordinary citizens. Instead, they stayed at private inns called cauponae (singular, caupona), which were often established near the mansiones. Though they provided the same services, they generally acquired a seedy reputation, because they were frequented by thieves and prostitutes. More genteel travelers could stay at private homes, but hostels called tabernae were also available. These were different from the tabernae within cities and towns, in that they were not tavern shops, though they did provide food and drink along with sleeping accommodations. Some of the more luxurious ones became more like modern hotels, with the really swanky establishments being complexes with shops, baths, and a theatre. These last often served as the nuclei for new towns and cities. Finally, people traveling with vehicles and animals could take advantage of changing stations called mutationes (singular, mutatio). There they could have their vehicles repaired and their animals looked after by veterinarians, even as they ate, drank, and slept.

Most plebeian travelers walked. A pedestrian could make up to 15 miles in a day. The roads, especially the viae munita, had sidewalks constructed on either side of the main roadbed, but there was no regulation prohibiting walking in the road itself. Wealthier travelers could ride a horse; many viae munita had bridle paths built on either side between the roadbed and the sidewalks. Patricians could use horse-drawn chariots, while plebeians could use ox-drawn cart, though these were used to carry freight more often than not. Intermediate between these two was the horse-drawn coach or carriage, which carried multiple people. Horses could cover 30 miles in a day, though a horse and rider could go farther than a horse-drawn vehicle.

As I said at the beginning of this post, most people didn't travel, but it's worth pointing out that, at the height of the Empire, a traveler could walk from the northern side of the Strait of Gibraltar in Spain clear around the Mediterranean to the southern side in Morocco without getting his feet wet. Why he would do so is another matter, but the point is anyone who needed, or wanted, to could go anywhere in the empire overland in reasonable safety and comfort.

In passing, as an interesting addendum, the road system did make mail delivery more efficient. Official mail was carried by the Cursus publicus in chariot-like carriages, locked in iron strongboxes, or by horse and rider. In relays, a letter could travel 50 miles a day. Private mail could be carried by the tabellarii, an organization of slaves for hire. So, even if you didn't want to travel to Rome from your villa in Spain, you could be sure a letter would get there in a timely fashion.

The Pliocene Adventure -- Insectivores

When my roster of fossils was completed, I divided it up into classes: mammals, birds, reptiles, and amphibians. However, I further subdivided the mammals into dietary lifestyles: insectivores, herbivores, and carnivores. This post will list the most likely insectivores that lived in the Denver area 3.3 million years.

An insectivore is a predator that eats primarily insects. At one time all mammals that ate insects were grouped into the Order Insectivora, but genetic studies indicated that most were not closely related, so most have been reclassified. For this post, I use the broader definition so as to include creatures that do not fit into the other two divisions. Most are well-known today, but there are three genera that went extinct. (I give the genus name for each creature in parentheses.)

Anteater, Giant (Myrmecophaga) -- Genus extant; virtually identical to living variety

As I mentioned in the last post in this series, the giant anteater is one of two creatures whose fossils were not found in or near Colorado, but which I decided to include in the story. The genus mostly lived in South America, but one fossil was found in Mexico. Based on that, I decided that I could allow a single rogue individual to travel further north than normal. I haven't decided whether it will become a resident or head back south, but there are no others so it won't be able to mate.

Armadillo (Dasypus) -- Genus extant; virtually identical to living variety

These guys peform the same function as anteaters.

Bats -- 9 Genera, all extant; virtually identical to living varieties

These guys take over eating insects from the birds at night. Some are aerial hunters that use echolocation, while others forage on the ground listening for prey. None are true hibernators, but those that do not migrate either remain active or go into torpor.

(Antrozous) -- "Pallid", forager, hibernator, roosts in caves
(Eptesicus) -- "House", aerial, hibernator, roosts in trees
(Eumops) -- "Mastiff", aerial/forager, active in winter, roosts in trees
(Lasionycteris) -- "Silver-haired", forager, migratory, roosts in trees
(Lasiurus) -- "Hairy-tailed", aerial, migrator, roosts in trees
(Myotis) -- "Mouse-eared", aerial, hibernator, roosts in trees, hunt near/over water
(Pipistrellus) -- "Pipistrelle", aerial, hibernator, roosts in trees
(Plecotus) -- "Long-eared", forager, active in winter, roosts in caves, extinct in America
(Tadarida) -- "Free-tailed", aerial, migrator, roost in caves, pollinators

Mole (Hesperoscalops) -- Genus extinct; virtually identical to living variety

These guys have a venomous saliva to paralyze prey.

Mouse, Grasshopper (Onychomys) -- Genus extant; virtually identical to living variety

A carnivorous mouse! These guys are highly aggressive and will eat scorpions, snakes, and other mice as well as insects.

Shrews -- 5 Genera; those still extant are virtually identical to living varieties

These guys are the wolves of the leaf-litter, and need to eat anywhere from 1 to 3 times their body each day. They will try to eat just about anything that crosses their path, even if it's bigger than they are.

(Planisorex) -- extinct
(Notiosorex) -- "Gray", extant, use echolocation
(Sorex) -- "Long-tailed", extant, use echolocation
(Paracryptotis) -- "Red-toothed", extinct
(Cryptotis) -- "Small-eared", extant, venomous saliva

L. Neil Smith and Pearl Harbor

L. Neil Smith's government-hating paranoia knows no historical limits, or compromise. Indeed, he considers compromise to be evil. We have already examined his take on the Zimmermann Telegram, the sinking of the RMS Lusitania, and the Spanish-American War, with emphasis on the USS Maine incident. Yet his lunacy extends as far back as the very beginning of the United States itself, and encompasses the whole of American history, down to the present day. Two topics that seem to be especially egregious to him are Abraham Lincoln and the Civil War, and FDR and Pearl Harbor. He seems to have an especial hatred for these two figures, probably because one forcibly prevented the secession of half the country while the other created the modern socialist American state, or so he believes. The former topic may require several posts to deal with everything, so in this post I will examine his arguments regarding the latter topic.

His accusation is long and rambling, so I won't quote the whole excerpt. Instead, I encourage you all to read his essay "Empire of Lies" in The Libertarian Enterprise, No. 228, June 22, 2003. Here is a summary of his points:

"...there just happened to be a great war brewing once again on the next continent over. Another catch phrase sprang ... into being: 'There's a war on, over there, and America's going to be in it!'"

"At the same time, the administration was doing everything it could to stir up trouble with Japan."

"Again, illegally, Roosevelt shut off Japan's supply of imported oil which forced them to invade other places to get it. That brought out the very worst in the Japanese character, which was exactly what Roosevelt needed and wanted."

"Finally, after a lot of diplomatic wrangling designed to frustrate and anger the Japanese--silencing those among them who wanted peace--Roosevelt bottled up the most obsolete components of the Pacific Fleet in a harbor with a narrow, shallow mouth, put out the word that no warnings from American ships in the Pacific or the new radar just installed above the harbor were to reach Washington, and let the Japanese do as they wanted, which, with enough goading and insulting, they eventually did."

"You can read part of this story in John Toland's Infamy .... When it came out, I discussed it with my book editor at Random House.... He ... dismissed Toland's book, pointing out that a critical witness Toland mentions, one 'Seaman Z' had never come forward. Unfortunately for my editor, Seaman Z did come forward shortly after that...."

Smith ends with a reference to Operation Keelhaul. I will deal with this in a future post, but for now, suffice to say that his description is accurate, but as usual he makes more out of it than it deserves.

So, in a nutshell: FDR woke up one morning and decided, "I want a war with Japan!" He began a systematic program of "goading and insulting" to force Japan, an otherwise peaceful, friendly nation, into attacking the US. He then gave them a tempting target, turned a blind eye to all the evidence that they were planning to attack, and gleefully waited for them to slaughter nearly 2500 American seamen and airmen.

Okay, first, did FDR want a war with Japan? The evidence indicates that he did not. He considered the Nazis to be the greater threat, and he and Churchill didn't want to be distracted by another war that had nothing to do with defeating Hitler. Churchill certainly didn't want to have to divide his forces to fight a second front. So if FDR was going to provoke anyone into attacking the US, it would be Hitler. In fact, you could make a stronger case for him goading the Nazis, especially when he authorized the lending of war material to Britain and the use of American destroyers and aircraft carriers to protect merchant convoys crossing the Atlantic. So Smith's claim that FDR wanted to get into the war in Europe is an inadvertent admission that his subsequent argument, that FDR really wanted a war with Japan, is utter nonsense. He really shot himself in the foot with his Insane Troll Logic this time.

Now, you could argue that FDR knew Hitler would not attack the US, but that he would declare war on America once Japan had done so, but there is no evidence to support this supposition. In fact, everyone was surprised when Hitler declared war on America after we had done so on Japan. Even with his treaty with Japan, there was every reason for him to not get involved, especially since doing so meant that the US would attack him. That along with the invasion of Russia may have been his most critical mistakes.

So why did FDR goad Japan into war? Not to put too fine a point on it, he didn't. Smith's accusation is that Japan did not invade anyone or commit atrocities until FDR drove them to do so out of desperation after he caught off their oil. That is a lie, and a rather blatant one at that. I can't even be charitable and wonder if he might have been ignorant, because the information that refutes his claim is readily available; see the references at the end of the post. Japan invaded Manchuria in 1931, two whole years before FDR was even president, and nearly a decade before the US would imposed any sanctions on them. Their motive was to obtain badly needed natural resources for their industry and war effort, but at the time we were sending them not only oil, but also airplanes, parts, machine tools, and aviation gasoline, so they weren't desperate.

Furthermore, we kept shipping that stuff to them even after they expanded their war to all of China. Which the US had nothing to do with; it resulted from a series of provocations between the Chinese, with the support of the Soviet Union, and the Japanese. Even the Nanking Massacre that occurred between December 1937 and January 1938, in which an estimated 200,000 civilians were killed (which was provoked more by Russia meddling in the war than by the US), did not result in sanctions, though it did turn the sentiment of the American people against Japan, and the US provided loan assistance so China could purchase war material. There was a general feeling at the time that, sooner or later, there would be a war between the US and Japan that would decide who would control the Pacific, but this was based on concerns over Japanese militaristic expansion, and was a far cry from Smith's implication that the US was warmongering for the sake of power.

It wasn't until 1939, a full 8 years after the invasion of Manchuria, the US finally decided to terminate its 1911 trade treaty with Japan, to put pressure on them to leave China. This was hardly an illegal act, as Smith claims. Under the terms of the treaty either party could terminate as long as it gave a six month notice. The US did so in July, and formally terminated the treaty in January of 1940. This did not end trade with Japan, but without the treaty the US could impose licensing, tariffs, quotas, or embargoes at any time that could make trade more difficult. This did give us leverage in being able to dictate the terms for establishing a new treaty, such as leaving China. In response, the Japanese began their "Greater East Asia Co-prosperity" program and invited other nations to trade with them, which allowed them to gain commercial footholds in Southeast Asia. We in turn declared that the US would oppose any attempt by the Japanese to expand by invading French, Dutch, and British colonies in East Asia.

In 1940, after France fell to the Nazis, Japan invaded French Indochina, ostensibly to protect their commercial interests and maintain order, but also to cut off supplies to China and secure resources for themselves. The US retaliated by cutting off all exports except oil. The Japanese naturally considered the embargo on everything else to be an unfriendly act, but they agreed with the US that an embargo on oil would have been too provocative. Nonetheless, the Japanese decided to accelerate plans already in place to achieve resource independence by invading the Dutch East Indies and Malaysia for critical oil and rubber supplies. And since they knew the US would move to stop them, they decided they had to cripple the US by destroying its Pacific fleet, especially the strategic aircraft carriers.

This alone should demonstrate Smith's claim to be a lie, but it's worth pointing out that his assessment of the fleet at Pearl Harbor is quite wrong. For one thing, FDR did not transfer the Pacific Fleet from the West Coast to Pearl Harbor. It went there to conduct training maneuvers that had already been scheduled. Once there, FDR did order it to remain. He wanted the fleet closer to Japan in case we had to intervene to stop a Japanese invasion of the southern countries. It was all a coincidence, but that also worked towards Japan's advantage. For another, the fleet was not being "bottled up". Adm. Richardson, the fleet commander at that time, had legitimate concerns about keeping the fleet at Pearl Harbor, but they had little to do with the nature of the harbor itself, and more to do with the available facilities. Finally, the fleet was hardly obsolete. The battleships and cruisers may not have been state-of-the-art, but the aircraft carriers and destroyers were, or pretty damned close. In fact, the former were the primary targets of the attack. It was only by a fortuitous event -- a decision by Kimmel and Halsey to send the carriers out to probe in case the Japanese did intend to attack Hawaii -- that saved them from damage or destruction during the attack.

Considering that America's carriers were, along with her submarines, instrumental in halting and then turning the Japanese naval advances, only Insane Troll Logic would argue that FDR would be willing to put them at risk just to start a war.

Japan's further expansion into French Indochina was finally the last straw, and the US froze Japan's assets and cut off oil shipments in July 1941. By then, however, Adm. Isoroku Yamamoto had already been planning and training for an attack on Pearl Harbor since spring, to protect Japan's move into the "southern resource area", planning for which was also already under way. Part of the reason for the full surprise on Dec 7 was because government and military officials assumed the Japanese would attack the Philippines first, considering them the greatest threat, and because they believed Japan could only launch one naval operation at a time. Also, they felt Pearl Harbor was safe because it was too shallow for torpedo bombers. They didn't know the Japanese had developed a new type of torpedo that didn't need to sink as far before becoming active.

So Smith's claim that Japan was peaceful and friendly before FDR drove them into corner by starving them of oil, turning them into monsters who invaded other countries and committed atrocities, is patently false. Though the FDR administration was not entirely blameless, the most that American actions did was to accelerate plans the Japanese already had in place, and to allow a war party to take power in Japan. Even if the US had taken no action, the invasions and a subsequent war would have still occurred, just later than they actually did, and at a time when Japan would have been stronger.

But Smith also claims that we did not negotiate in good faith, that we were only trying to "frustrate and anger the Japanese". Well, that depends upon how you look at it. I suppose that could be true, if you believe America should have just let the Japanese conquer anyone they wanted to, but it really only makes sense if you use Insane Troll Logic to argue that the Japanese didn't threaten anyone until FDR put them in a desperate situation. In other words, we could only have negotiated in bad faith if we were trying to get Japan to attack us in the first place. If, however, Japan had already invaded other countries and we were trying to get them to leave, then the negotiations failed because of Japanese intransigence. They wanted to keep as much of their military gains as possible, so naturally they were not going to accept any plan that required them to pack up completely and go home. Besides, historical facts make it clear that the Japanese were planning and training for the attack on Pearl Harbor even as they negotiated with us, so they are as much to blame, if not more so, for any bad faith.

What about FDR's order that no warning of an attack was to reach Washington? That's just another lie. Where's the evidence? There would have to be some kind of written order that Smith can produce to prove his accusation, but he offers nothing, probably because he knows there is nothing to offer.

Then how do you explain "Seaman Z"? The story of Seaman Z, real name Robert D. Ogg, as told by John Toland in Infamy, is that he picked up strange radio signals in the Pacific, which he identified as coming from a "missing" Japanese carrier task force; that he used them to triangulate the position of the group; and that he sent that information to Washington, where it was ignored. Smith is wrong when he says Seaman Z came forward; he was in fact identified as Mr. Ogg by another party. Smith also implies that when he "came forward" he corroborated Toland's account. This is another lie; Mr. Ogg in fact repudiated Toland. He flatly denied identifying the signals as coming from a "missing" carrier group, he stated he couldn't even determine if they were Japanese, and he concluded by saying he never questioned them at the time.

On top of that, we know that the signals didn't come from the task force, because after the attack Mitsuo Fuchida, who led the air attack, filed a report in which he stated the carrier group maintained strict radio silence throughout. The pilots even agreed not to call for help or rescue. This was confirmed by another report made by Adm. Nagumo, who commanded the task force. He stated that the radio transmitters were sealed and the crew ordered to keep away from the keys. Also, Mr. Ogg had been stationed in San Francisco. How could he have picked up signals that Hawaii, much closer to the task group, could not?

This is one of the very few times Smith gives one of his sources, but it's particularly telling in that it also illustrates how gullible he is, that he believes these kinds of books without checking their "facts", simply because they support what he already believes.

Though I have yet to examine all his claims on FDR, Pearl Harbor, and World War II, so far it seems that they are no different than his other historical claims, being riddled with misinformation and falsehoods, and in this case outright lies.

Sources

The Attack on Pearl Harbor

The Truth About Pearl Harbor

Answering the Conspiracy Theories: The Attack on Pearl Harbor

Pearl Harbor: The Seeds and Fruits of Infamy -- This source is biased towards blaming FDR for the attack, though the author assumes incompetence rather than malice. Based on some of its conclusions, particularly that Japan only went to war because of American provocation, it might be another source Smith consulted but did not name because it didn't present as harsh an assessment as Toland's Infamy. However, I present it because of it's extensive and detailed historical account of the events leading up to the attack, which strongly refutes Smith's arguments. The only glaring omission is that the author does not describe the extensive preparations and training the Japanese engaged in during the latter half of 1940 and throughout 1941 before the attack. As such, he gives the impression that the attack was spur-of-the-moment rather than premeditated.

Ensemble Tropes-Part 1

I write stories about five primary characters, and I also have a large number of supporting characters. However, rarely do I write any story that features just one solitary character, and in the case of Team Girl, never. Conflict is a ubiquitous trope; except for experimental fiction, a story needs conflict to drive the plot, and most of the time that conflict is driven by interactions between characters. Even a simple story involving a hero and villain derives its conflict from their interaction. As pointed out above, Eile and Sunny are a natural duo and rarely act alone, and even when they do, they usually recruit a temporary partner. Sir Differel Van Helsing sometimes has solo adventures, but more often I pair her with Vlad Drakulya, Lady Margaret Chesham, or Team Girl, or some other temporary partner. Medb is the quintessential loner, yet so far her stories show her with a temporary partner or as part of a team effort (except "Sacrificial Offering").

This post is about tropes associated with character Ensembles. These are story conventions concerning the group dynamics of multiple characters. They include associations ranging from partnerships all the way up to whole armies, even alliances between nations. Most groups are cooperative, some are not; most are positive, some are negative. Some are pragmatic, others idealistic, and some are metaphorical. Most are used seriously, but some are played for laughs and a few others are parodies.

Because of the complexity of my characters (modest, ain't I), the variety of situations I put them in, and the fact that they all know each other, so that I can readily mix-and-match them, each can be associated with multiple Ensembles. In fact, I was surprised by how many applied, and I felt tempted to shoehorn in a few that I really liked. For example, The Three Faces of Eve teams a calm and capable motherly woman with a hot and sexy femme fatale and a playful and innocent girl child (see the blog image above). Margaret would play the sexy slut quite well (especially since she IS one), but Differel is not quite the motherly type (though she is very maternal towards her son Henry), and Henry is a boy. It might have worked if I had given Differel a daughter, but as it now stands I would have to try to argue that the gender of the child is irrelevant, and I don't know if I could. So I decided not to include it.

I should note at this point that some of the titles for these Ensembles are fairly explicit. However, rather than write Exactly As It Says On the Tin as I have done in past posts, in this post I will leave the description blank. Hopefully the example(s) I provide will clear up any confusion.

Action Duo -- a Badass or an Action Hero teams up with a non-fighter, and they kick ass

***** In "Shenanigans", Differel is the Badass with the sword while Margaret is the non-fighter who picks locks

Adventure Duo -- hero and sidekick

***** Eile and Sunny (though they're really partners); Differel and Vlad; Dribble and Maggot (aka, Differel and Margaret). In all three ensembles, Eile and Differel are usually the point-of-view characters, so their actions tend to drive the plot, with Sunny, Vlad, or Margaret supporting them. However, in future stories the rolls will reverse for Eile and Sunny and Dribble & Maggot, giving the "sidekicks" a chance to be heroes.

Amazon Brigade -- an elite fighting unit composed of women

***** The warrior nuns of the Daughters of Cwenthryth, though currently, except for Walpurga and a few trainers, the order is composed of novices in training.

Medb has occasionally formed teams of lady fighters to accomplish her operations.

In the future story "The Dream-Trials", Team Girl calls upon their friends in the Dreamlands to help them escort Differel back to the Waking World.

When a female Fomorian tried to take over the Caerleon Order by bringing the men under her control, Differel and the few female troopers trained the household maids in commando tactics to strike back.

Back-to-Back Badasses -- two Badasses stand back-to-back to kick ass

***** In "Survival & Sacrifice", during their Heroic Sacrifice, when they run out of ammunition, Eile and Sunny stand back-to-back against against a horde of monsters using their rifles as clubs.

Badass and Child Duo -- a Badass protects a helpless child

***** Averted; Vlad and Differel could have become this, if Aunt Mandy had not tried to kill her.

Badass Army

***** The paramilitary unit assigned to the Caerleon Order to perform operations against incursions of monsters, and to protect Differel. Its members are mostly from the British Army, with a fair number of Royal Marines and a few SAS (Special Air Service) operatives, but they are all considered to be the handpicked best of their outfits, making the Order's troops one of the best units in existence.

Badass Crew

***** Differel's senior staff. Aelfraed the butler and chief-of-staff has commando combat skills. Mrs. Widget the housekeeper is one of only three people whom Vlad cannot intimidate. Maggie King the manager would take a bullet for Differel. Sharona Turing the chief analyst is a cousin of Alan Turing and a certifiable genius in her own right. Giles Holt the master-at-arms is a Royal Marine who was given SAS training before he was transferred to the Order. Maj. Thaddeus Carmichael, MD, the medical officer and chief surgeon, is a combat medic who wouldn't hesitate to use a gun to defend his patients. Madam Phillipa Trumbo the executive chef once saved Differel from a hag while armed with just her wits and several delicious food dishes.

Battle Couple

***** Eile and Sunny, Team Girl; Differel and Victor Plunkett (her husband); Dribble & Maggot. Also on occasion Aelfraed and Mrs. Widget (though they are siblings, not lovers).

Beast and Beauty

***** Vlad and Differel; this applies even in his Human form, but Vlad can change into several beastly forms. His favorite is the Barghest, a combination of werewolf and ghost.

Beauty, Brains, Brawn

***** This can take various forms, depending on the situation and who is part of the makeup of the team, but it always involves The Chick, The Smart Gal, and The Big Gal:

Sunny | Sunny | Medb -- Chick
Eile | Medb | Sunny -- Smart Gal
Medb | Eile | Eile -- Big gal

Sunny is smarter than she looks, Medb can handle all three roles, and sometimes Eile needs to play bodyguard as Medb or Sunny figure out a solution. Though quite clever herself, Eile is the Smart Gal only when Medb and Sunny must handle the other roles.

Betty Stivic -- Chick
Sunny -- Smart Gal
Eile -- Big Gal

In the Dreamlands.

Sunny | Differel | Eile -- Chick
Differel | Sunny | Sunny -- Smart Gal
Eile | Eile | Differel -- Big Gal

This is how this ensemble shifts roles depending upon whether Differel must protect Team Girl, solve the conflict, or keep Eile and Sunny working together.

Margaret -- Chick
Differel -- Smart Gal
Vlad -- Big Gal

Vlad protects them while Differel figures out how to deal with the problem and Margaret lends logistical and emotional support.

Victor -- Chick
Margaret -- Smart Gal
Differel -- Big gal

When these three work together, Victor has to keep the peace between the other two.

Big Bad Ensemble -- villains who co-exist, but pursue independent schemes; each may not even know the other exists

***** Every member of the Team Girl/Sir Differel Rogues Gallery. It can go to ridiculous extremes, such as when a Lich tries to destroy all life on earth, but Aunt Mandy, the Serpent People, the Daoine Sidhe, etc., make no effort to stop her.

A Boy and His X -- a partnership, where "X" can be just about anything: animal, vegetable, or mineral; living or dead; organic or synthetic or machine

***** Medb and her Cat, Zoog, and Bird ["Barbarians R Us"; "The Lions of Inganok"]; Team Girl and their Kitty ["Cats' Peril"]; Differel and her Vampire ["One-Percenter Vendetta"]; Differel and her Wakiya ["Adventurer's Honeymoon"].

Brains and Brawn

***** The basic pairings:

Sunny | Differel | Margaret -- Brains
Eile | Vlad | Differel -- Brawn

Though their roles can change to handle a changing situation, Sunny, Differel, and Margaret tend to come up with the solutions while Eile, Vlad, and Differel make them work.

Captain Smooth and Sergeant Rough -- the leader is fatherly and compassionate, while his subordinate is tough and harsh

***** Differel prefers to command in a patient and Socratic manner, explaining what she needs to have happen. She leaves it to Mr. Holt to manage, motivate, and discipline the troops.

The Church

***** The Catholic Church, particularly the Order of St. Antony Demons-Bane. Also, the Anglican Church in Great Britain has elements of this.

The Clan

***** Though the line that commands the Caerleon Order descends from father to son (or in the case of Differel to daughter) directly from Abraham Van Helsing, Differel has a number of cousins who descend from the aunts and uncles of previous generations. Though she seldom interacts with them, and they have no involvement with the Order, Vlad would turn to Differel's closest blood relative if anything happened to her.

Command Roster -- the hierarchy of seniority among the leaders of a unit or organization

***** In the Caerleon Order, Differel serves as Director. Below her is Maggie King as Manager and Aelfraed as Chief of Staff. Below them is Sharona Turing as Chief Analyst in charge of Intelligence, Giles Holt as Master-at-Arms in charge of the Household Guard, Maj. Nathaniel Baintree as Commandant in charge of the Order's paramilitary force, Maj. Thaddeus Carmichael MD as Medical Officer and Chief Surgeon in charge of the Order's medical department, Dr. Mabuse as Chief Science Officer in charge of the Order's R&D department, and Mrs. Widget in charge of the household staff.

In turn, the household domestic staff devolves from Aelfraed as Butler and head of the footmen, Mrs. Widget as Housekeeper and head of the maids, and Madam Trumbo as Executive Chef and head of the kitchen staff.

The (Syn)Dividual -- two or more (non-identical) characters that act as one

***** Team Girl is one syndividual, Dribble & Maggot is another. Also, Differel and Vlad. Aelfraed and Mrs. Widget act as this on occasion. Sunny's parents Maela and Oda are very much this.

Eccentric Townsfolk

***** Virtually every town in the Dreamlands has a few of these, but most can be found in Ulthar. Some are not so harmless, though.

Elite Army

***** The Caerleon Order Paranormal Deterrent Force, also known as the paramilitary troops, consisting of a full company. Most of them are recruited from the British Army, but a significant percentage are Royal Marines and Special Air Service (SAS). Mr. Holt and Maj. Baintree have instituted a training program based on the Royal Marine courses with aspects of SAS training thrown in as well. Man (or woman; the Order does not discriminate)-for-man, the troops are one of the best units in the British Armed Forces.

Fighter, Mage, Thief -- the physical powerhouse, the wielder of arcane magic/technology/knowledge, and the master of stealth and guile

***** In the Dreamlands, there are two primary trios:

Medb -- Stone Wall (protects the rest from harm)
Sunny -- Glass Cannon (strong against ranged targets but weak in melee combat)
Eile -- Lightning Bruiser (both fast and strong)

and

Differel -- Blademaster
Sunny -- Archer/Magician
Eile -- Scrapper

Five Man Band -- a five person team consisting of the leader, the sidekick (called the lancer), the smart guy, the big guy, and the chick (who balances the group), with extras that can include the team mom, the medic, the mentor, the tagalong kid, the team benefactor, or the team pet

***** The classic Five Man Band of my stories:

Leader -- Differel Van Helsing
Lancer -- Margaret Chesham
Smart Gal -- Sunny/Dr. Mabuse
Big Gal/Guy -- Vlad/Medb/Giles Holt
Chick -- Eile/Victor

Team Mom/Mentor -- Medb
Tagalong Kids -- Connie & Liza, Team Girl's daughters/Henry
Team Pet -- Snowshoe Kitty

Next week I will present Part 2 of Ensemble Tropes.

Dreamlands Bestiary: Gugs

The Gugs are a race of creatures that inhabit the Underworld beneath the Land of the Dreams of Men. They are giants that resemble humanoid apes, covered in black fur and in some places scales, with long claws on their fingers and toes. They stand at least 20 feet tall, on feet and lower legs that more closely resemble those of a dinosaur than a mammal. They have two upper arms, but each has two lower arms attached to the elbow, giving them four hands in total. The head is barrel-shaped, the pink eyes are attached to the sides, and their bony sockets stick out away from the skull like bulbous protuberances. Their mouth is vertical, not horizontal, and it stretches from the top of the forehead to the bottom of the chin. Great yellow fangs stick out over the lips when the mouth is closed, interlocking in a staggered fashion like the connectors of a zipper. They are omnivorous, eating practically anything, but they prefer meat. They are also cannibalistic, and will eat their own dead when nothing else is available.

Once long before the Leng Men or the Spiders claimed the Dreamlands, the Gugs lived in the upper world, where they built many cyclopean monolithic structures and stone rings, some of which still stand. The most famous example is the ring of menhirs in the southern Enchanted Woods, that surround a giant stone slab which covers an entrance down into the Underworld. The stones are so tall they stick out above the canopy. However, they worshiped the Outer Gods and engaged in rites so abhorrent that they upset the Great Ones, the Little Gods of Earth. So the Great Ones banished the Gugs into the Underworld and laid a curse on them, preventing them from ever returning. The Gugs built a great city of gargantuan round towers with 30-foot tall doorways, and nearby put in a cemetery for their dead, using menhirs as headstones. In the center of the city stands a tower that stretches all the way up to the upper world, opening in the Enchanted Woods inside the ring of stones under the slab. The tower is marked with the Sign of Koth and contains only a spiral staircase that runs from the bottom of the tower to a room just beneath the slab-covered exit. The Gugs never lift the slab to open the exit, for fear of the Great One’s curse, but they have no fear of the tower itself, so they will chase anyone trying to flee them all the way to the top.

The Gugs have their own language and they continue to practice abhorrent rites, but they have a rather low intelligence. It is not known whether their intelligence has always been that low, or if they degenerated after their exile, but they show no evidence of any kind of technology, industry, or even craftwork. The few adventurers who have lived among them and survived to tell of it, notably Medb hErenn, have mentioned that the Gugs have a storytelling tradition, and that they engage in ritual combat, with the victor eating the loser. They also raise a number of kinds of fungi in farms for food when they do not have access to meat, and they brew a potent and harsh form of moonshine. Beyond that, however, there is little evidence that they possess any kind of culture, much less civilization.

They are aggressive and belligerent, and will fight amongst themselves as readily as they will fight anyone or anything else. As a result, no one has been able to determine if the Gugs have anything worth trading for, or if they desire anything made by others. Though they do not travel far from their city, they dominate their region of the Underworld, being the most powerful creatures extant. They routinely prey upon the Ghasts that live in the nearby Vaults of Zin, and will opportunistically take whatever smaller creatures cross their path, especially Humans. Even Cats are not immune, though they are generally too small to be of interest. Gugs seem to fear only three things. One is a huge unknown tentacled monstrosity that lives in the northern sea at the base of a cliff. It always seems to know when Gugs are about and will try to catch them. Another is a creature called the gilleytrot. It resembles a cross between a velvet worm, centipede, and caterpillar, and is a voracious hunter. Though smaller than a Gug, it can easily kill any that it catches. The last are the Ghouls. Gugs are deathly afraid of Ghouls, and will run from them whenever possible. Why they are so terrified is unknown, but it seems to be a superstitious dread rather than some physical horror.

Synopsis: Demon Rape (a Sir Differel adventure)

Differel is hosting a government interdepartmental conference. In attendance are Aelfraed, Maggie, and Sharona, with Mrs. Widget and a number of maids and footmen. A strange wave of dizziness washes through the room, and the men turn into naked demons with body-builder physiques. They immediately attack the women, tear off their clothes, and begin raping them, each one shouting, “Bitch, you are mine!” when he claims a victim. Differel, Maggie, and Sharona try to defend themselves, but the demons are too strong. Differel's attacker forces her to bend over face down on the table and penetrates her from behind. The sensation is both excruciating -- his penis is huge -- and exhilarating. As he pumps her, her excitement builds very quickly, and she starts experiencing multiple orgasms, each right after another. Her mind goes numb from the intense pain and pleasure, and she realizes she soon won't be able to think at all. Using the last dregs of her willpower, she summons Caliburn and thrusts it backwards. The demon screams and pulls out of her. She pushes herself up, turns, and takes off his head before he can grapple her. The orgasms continue to wash through her, and she drops the greatsword as she clutches her crotch and masturbates furiously.

The orgasms eventually subside, and she nearly collapses from exhaustion, gripping the table to support herself. She gazes around the room and realizes everyone is helplessly engaged in mandatory mindless fucking, whether they be a transformed demon-rapist or a woman victim. There are no demons who have not claimed a woman, so the others ignore her. She focuses on Maggie and Sharona, and as her mind becomes more agile she realizes she needs them to find out what's going on. Summoning Caliburn she takes the heads off the demons raping them, but they both collapse to the ground, writhing and moaning as their own orgasms continue. At a loss as to what to do to snap them out of it, assuming she even could at that point, she spots the discarded clothing of a female guard who carried a stun gun on her belt. Retrieving it, she sets the power setting as low as she can and shocks each woman. They convulse, but come to their senses.

Differel waits until they recover enough for action, then they sneak across the hall into Intelligence. The women analysts are all being raped by demons, but the latter ignore them. Sharona receives and analyzes reports as Maggie attempts to contact Whitehall and Differel tries to reach Medb, Team Girl, and Lady Margaret. The first two do not answer, but she reaches Margaret at Chesham Towers. Even as she begins to explain the situation, however, a demon catches her and begins to rape her. Differel now knows the phenomenon has reached York. No one is answering at Whitehall, but Sharona finally generates a graph that shows that 90% of women all over the world have been caught, and the remaining 10% will be within a day at most.

Two demons break into the room. They flee through the hidden stairwell, but Maggie is caught and dragged back into Intelligence. Differel and Sharona escape into the room safe. They take weapons, but when they open the safe they find a group of demons in the office led by one built like Holt. The weapons prove useless, so they retreat back into the safe and try to close the door. Sharona is caught and pulled through the opening while another holds the door open. Differel severely wounds him with Caliburn and several more crowd against the door, pushing it shut. She locks it and uses the greatsword to destroy the mechanism, making it impossible to open. She then makes it into the stairwell. She pauses, not knowing what to do. She sees no way to stop or reverse the trend, it’s moving too fast. Even if the demons do not kill their victims, the women will likely die from exhaustion or dehydration, and the human race will end. The only hope is if a few women can be saved, and a few men somehow escaped transformation. She decides she needs to get out of the estate, so she goes down to the catacomb level to take the secret tunnel to the motte and bailey.

When she reaches the bottom, however, she finds the secret door to the catacombs open and a weird greenish light showing through. She goes through and follows the light. It takes her to a crypt that contains seven tombs, six surrounding one in the middle. The center one has been opened and a being like a cross between a tree and a sea anemone has emerged. A naked woman lies on a bed of tendrils that caress and penetrate her, but her head lies within an orifice. A group of tendrils rise up, collect into a knot, and form a face which speaks. Differel realizes the woman must be the Countess of Salisbury. The Countess explains that she had stumbled upon a ritual that would allow her to use the power of a beast from hell, thereby making it possible to transform all men into demons under her control. What she failed to understand was what the ritual meant by merging. She is now a mere appendage of the beast, but it can use her personality even as she uses its power. Together they have decided that Mankind should be exterminated, not ruled over, and they have set the demon-men loose to rape all women to death. Differel realizes the beast is merely impersonating the Countess, that it has absorbed her. She summons Caliburn, but before she can attack, a demon appears and catches her. He forces her to lie back on a tomb and penetrates her, but Mabuse robots appear and grapple with him before he can start. As one carries her off, she catches a glimpse of the demon's face and notices it resembles Vlad. The robot carries her to Mabuse’s lab. A group of demons try to break in, but robots appear out of the rock walls and grapple with them. The robot carrying her opens the lab’s blast doors, tosses her inside, and closes the doors.

Differel finds Mabuse standing over her. She helps her up and gives her a lab coat, apologizing that it is all she has to offer. She explains what’s happening and what caused it. Mabuse shows her a Schrodinger wave recording that displays a spike an hour ago. Mabuse has been working on a device that combines her transmogrification and time travel technology, to create a sort of cosmic “rewind” button. It needs to be set up somewhere high. Differel suggests the keep in the motte and bailey. Mabuse states she needs to finish assembling it and they only have a 150 minute window. Differel tells her she will need 30 minutes to reach the keep; that leaves two hours. She helps Mabuse finish assembly. Mabuse gives her device to prevent Vlad from reading her mind. She removes the coat saying she can’t fight with it on, and perhaps clothing sets off the demons. She puts on a pack and nine robots leave with her. Six engage the demons outside; two more engage two demons in the stairwell. The last follows her to the keep. There is 20 minutes left.

Even with the robot’s help it takes 10 minutes to climb to the top of the keep; 5 minutes to set up; 3 minutes to program the system; 1 minute to process the program. She can now activate with a minute to spare.

Demon-Vlad appears and grabs her. The robot grapples him but she falls off the ledge. She catches a hold and hauls herself back up as Vlad tears the robot apart. She lunges for the device but demon-Vlad catches her. She clings to the wall as she strains to start the program running as the remaining seconds count down. After several near misses, she punches the enter key with seven seconds left. Demon-Vlad rips her loose, slams her against the wall, and begins raping her. She barely notices the device activate with aching slowness. Then she feels like she’s falling backwards down a tunnel composed of images of memories that rush past her. When it stops she finds herself back in the conference room. She glances at a clock and jerks: she has five minutes to stop the Countess.

She races downstairs, but discovers she’s too late to stop the summoning. The beast has seized the Countess, penetrated her, and is guiding her towards the orifice while the Countess struggles against it. She summons Caliburn and hacks at the tendrils, but she must also fight off tentacles. Vlad appears and uses his heavy-duty pistols to blow holes in the beast while Differel cuts the Countess free. The beast shrivels and collapses into the tomb, and Vlad reseals it. The Countess is unconscious and Differel has her taken to a maximum security cell.

Synopsis: Happily Ever After (a Team Girl adventure)

Medb hErenn is running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to get everything ready for Eile and Sunny's wedding that morning. The work is almost finished, but maddeningly, there are a few last minute items that are taking forever. It reminds her of the hassle the Girls went through to get a marriage license. They finally had to go to Washington DC to get one.

Pastor John Sjauken, who serves as one of the ushers, watches her with some amusement. He remembers back when the Girls came to him with Sunny's parents and Medb to have a civil ceremony done, so that there would be no question of legality. He went through the entire Lutheran marriage ceremony in the chapel in his homeless shelter, and sent them off with his blessing.

Differel appears with Dracula, and Medb has Sjauken show her where to change. Differel orders Dracula to make himself scarce, then follows him to a bungalow where Sunny and her groomsmen are waiting. The groomsmen consist of Shasta Taffaday, Annis Nin, Lt. Gen. Morgan Leia Ross, Fael Cayleen, Marseilles Sheraton, and herself, with Dr. Elizabeth Rebecca Mabuse as best man. Sheraton hands her her outfit. The groomsmen costumes are all the same; however, Ross is wearing her formal military dress uniform with all her decorations, and Differel has the George Cross and the collar, star, riband, and badge of the Order of the Garter. Differel recalls how she had Dracula kidnap Sheraton so she could warn her not to make trouble at the wedding.

Sheraton notes that Differel is not the only one giving her the evil eyes. She recalls the invitation she received from Sunny to be a groomsman, and how she almost refused when her cat partner convinced her to accept.

Mabuse sees how uncomfortable Sheraton is. She remembers when Sunny asked her to be best man. She tried to refuse at first, feeling guilty about all the things she had done to her and Eile, but Sunny pointed out that she had also saved them a couple of times, and if it hadn't been for her, she would never have existed. That convinced her to agree.

Oda Gabrielle Hiver arrives and tells Mabuse that he has arrived. She watches Mabuse go off to meet him, and remembers how she nearly killed her at the wedding rehearsal, but for Sunny's sake decided to spare her for the time being.

Oda sees Sunny pacing nervously and goes to talk with her. Sunny recalls how she arranged for Maela to give Eile away. Eile really wanted her Uncle Gene to do it, since he had raised her when she was orphaned as a baby. However, he has Alzheimer's, and the disease has progressed far enough that he has few lucid moments anymore. But Eile couldn't walk down the aisle alone, so Maela Hiver, her father, volunteered to play that role. Though grateful, Eile is still rather morose over the whole thing, and it's making Sunny depressed.

Oda heads back to the bridal bungalow and tells Maela he has arrived. The bridal party consists of Liadan Fionuir, Betty Stivic, Mariam Alina-Fuad, Det. Sgt. Dolores Cadera-Hueso, Giovanna Mencia Borgia, and Wendy Cleasa, with herself as the matron of honor and Maela as father of the bride. They are all wearing the same style of dress, except for Maela, who is dressed like one of the groomsmen, and Maela is grateful that Eile and Sunny had insisted the bridesmaids not be made to look like freaks. Maela remembers how during the early part of the bachelor party, Sunny had opened up about how sad Eile was that her Uncle couldn't give her away, and how Mabuse got this weird look in her eyes. She later approached her and Medb with a wild idea for making Eile's wish come true.

Dolores overhears Maela talking about the bachelor party, and she describes to Wendy the wild antics that took place that night.

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It started out at a bar Shasta frequents. There Sunny, Mabuse, Maela, and her groomsmen had a drinking contest, got drunk, and then got into a brawl with a bunch of truckers. They just about wrecked the place and put the truckers in the hospital for a month. Then they all went to a gay strip bar and started dancing on stage with the entertainers, and when the bouncers tried to throw them out, they threw them out, then took over the show. At some point, Fael got excited and turned into her werewolf form, but she remained drunk. However, the patrons were frightened out of their wits and ran away.

The groom party then sped down Colorado Blvd. at 2 in the morning, while Differel, Ross, Annis, and Shasta shot out the traffic lights. Sunny was driving. The police chased them all the way up Sixth Ave. into Golden, then down C-470 to 25 again, and finally into the city. They lost them somewhere around Colfax when Differel shot out their tires. No one was hurt, however, because she did it in a way that brought the cruisers to a halt with losing control. They turned onto I-70, got off at Rocky Mountain Park, crash into the lake, and decided to go swimming, naked. And when the police arrived, they led them on a merry chase around the park, stark naked. It took two hours for the officers to catch them all.

Oda was livid, but mostly at Maela for letting their daughter carry on that way. Medb took it all in stride, paid all the fines and damages and bought off anyone who filed a complaint, and Ross got the charges dropped and the whole incident hushed up, calling it national security. Eile considered the whole thing hilarious, especially when Sunny and Maela shouted, "They'll never take us alive!" as they all ran around the park. But Oda's threatened to ground both them for the rest of their lives.

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Wendy in turn tells Dolores about what happened at the engagement party.

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Medb hosted it at her gentlemen's club, Jewels. Wendy played hostess. By agreement, Sunny and her parents showed up by themselves at a preset time, and Wendy showed them to a private party room. There, Eile was sitting at the back end of the room and Medb had set up a table in the middle, separating her and Sunny. She stood on Sunny's side when they came in, and that's when Sunny formally asked for Eile's hand in marriage. Medb didn't make it easy on her. She questioned her on her commitment, her ability to support Eile, whether she wanted children, the works. Sunny started thinking she was being serious, but finally she agreed in principle to let her and Eile marry, IF the particulars could be negotiated. That's when she went to Eile's side of the table and Sunny's parents sat across from her on their side. Wendy presented Sunny with a chair, and she sat by the door like a dummy while they haggled.

Wendy notes that Oda is a tough negotiator, and gave Medb a run for her money. First they haggled over the bride price, and finally settled on a 300 year old bottle of cognac. Then they hashed out the dowry, and Medb agreed to give Sunny a stock portfolio and a choice parcel of land. Finally they tackled the dower, and her parents agreed to pay Eile a gift of $2,000,000 in case anything happened to Sunny, to support herself with. Meanwhile, Eile and Sunny made googly faces at each other across the room.

Afterwards, Medb wrote up a marriage contract, signed it, then passed it to Sunny's parents who signed it. They asked Sunny to read it over, and she approved it and signed it. Then Medb offered it to Eile and asked her approval and she signed it. Like either one would say no.

At that point Eile and Sunny were officially betrothed. The table was turned lengthwise, Eile and Sunny sat on one side, her parents on the other, and Medb at the head. Wine was brought out, Medb and her parents offered toasts, and then they got down to serious celebrating, which included lots of food and even more alcohol. Then after dessert, while Medb and her parents continued toasting them and each other, Wendy showed Eile and Sunny to a room where a bed had been set up. She explained that it was some ancient Irish custom where the betrothed couple had to prove their compatibility. Like they would say no. And thus they passed the night making mad passionate love, while Medb, Oda, and Maela got drunk. All in all, a fun time was had by all.

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Giovanna joins them and they start talking about the bachelorette party.

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Compared to the bachelor party, it was pretty tame. It was held at a fancy restaurant Medb owns, called Aintín Labhaoise. There was a buffet and a free bar, so they did stuff ourselves and drink a little too much, but they didn't go around shooting up the town or running naked around a city park. They started off by having Eile open wedding shower gifts. They were the usual bridal gag and erotic gifts, but there were some sensible items. Then, they played poker all night; Texas hold 'em, and for real money. Eile ended up owing Oda $25,000, but they settled on a trade. Eile agreed that she and Sunny would pay for a honeymoon cruise for Oda and Maela.

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Kojoro, who will serve as flower girl, appears escorting a Marine sergeant in full dress uniform. Eile cries for joy when she sees it's her Uncle Gene. When she asks how it's possible, he explains that her friend, Dr. Mabuse, gave him a drug that temporarily reversed of Alzheimer's. It will only last about two days, but that will be long enough to see him through the wedding.

Joyce Luasaigh, who is also serving as an usher, appears and announces it's time for the ceremony to begin.

The guests had started to arrive at 10:00, just moments after Medb had finally finished getting everything ready. There was a snack table set up in the vestibule where they could refresh themselves, then when they were ready, Joyce and Sjauken sat them in the chapel. All the guests are friends and acquaintances of the Girls, Sunny's parents, or Uncle Gene, so they were seated where they liked. Starting at 10:30 a traditional Irish band began playing music: Classical and Irish love songs.

At 11:00 the band plays the entry march. Medb, who is serving as the Celebrant, appears at the front of the chapel, and then the bridesmaids and groomsmen pairs come in, with groomsmen on the left and bridesmaid on the right:

1. Liadan Fionuir w Shasta Taffaday
2. Betty Stivic w Annis Nin
3. Mariam Alina-Fuad w Morgan Leia Ross
4. Dolores Cadera-Hueso w Fael Cayleen
5. Giovanna Mencia Borgia w Marseilles Sheraton
6. Wendy Cleasa w Sir Differel Van Helsing
7. Oda Gabrielle Hiver w Elizabeth Rebecca Mabuse

Once they've arranged themselves, the band launches into a new march and Ceithlenn, serving as one of Medb's Acolytes, leads Sunny up the aisle. Ceithlenn stands on Medb's left side as Sunny stands next to Mabuse.

As Sunny waits for Eile, she sees Maela come up the side of the chapel and sit in a front pew. Concerned, she almost breaks ranks, but Maela signals to her to stay put.

Then the bridal march begins. Kojoro starts first, spreading flowers in her wake from her kimono. Then Eile follows — arm in arm with her Uncle, Master Gunnery Sergeant Eugene Clement Houlihan, USMC (Ret.), decked out in his full dress uniform with sword and decorations. Eile is on his left arm and his dress cap is under his right. Eile is so happy her face shines as she beams. As they approach the front of the chapel, Ross salutes, because one of Houlihan's decorations is the Medal of Honor. William Cleasa follows Eile, holding her train, and Uallach, who also serves as an Acolyte, follows behind him.

MGySgt. Houlihan passes Eile to Sunny, then steps back and takes Billy to sit with him beside Maela, as Uallach goes to stand on Medb's right. When the march finishes, Medb commences with the ceremony. Everything goes off without a hitch, and at the end, she introduces them as a married couple to the assembly, who stand and applaud (with cheers, whistles, and HOO-RAHS as well). The band then plays the recessional as Eile and Sunny lead the bridesmaids and groomsmen, followed by Medb, Ceithlenn, and Uallach, Kojoro, Billy, Maela, and Houlihan, the guests, and finally John and Joyce bringing up the rear.

Outside, various group photos are taken, by a professional photographer and videographer, then Joyce and John lead everyone into the reception hall. A receiving line is set up, with Maela and Houlihan at the start and Eile and Sunny at the end, and the guests file past the wedding party, introducing themselves and congratulating the members. Once they reach the end, they are shown to their tables by John and Joyce. Once all the guests have been seated, the wedding party is seated, with Eile, Sunny, Maela, Oda, Houlihan, Mabuse, and Medb at the main table. Before the meal is served, however, Medb takes Eile and Sunny to a dais in the middle of the floor and binds their hands. Toasts are offered to them, Medb dances around them, Uallach and Ceithlenn bestow Vampire and Fomorian blessings on them, and the bridesmaids serenade them.

Finally Medb takes Eile and Sunny back to the table and the meal is served. Between courses, various guests stand and announce the gifts they are giving to the newlyweds, some of which are extremely fine and expensive, along with a number of gag gifts. After the meal, the cake is brought out and Eile and Sunny cut the first pieces and feed them to each other. Finally, once the cake has been distributed, the band starts up. When they are finished eating, Eile and Sunny have the first dance, and then are joined by Houlihan and Oda, and Maela and John. The floor is then opened up for the guests and other wedding party members to dance. Throughout the night, ballroom dances alternate with ceili dancing, even a demonstration of precision drill by Houlihan's friends. Guests leave as they get tired, and wedding party members are shown to sleeping rooms. Eile and Sunny slip away at some point for their wedding night.

The next morning the wedding party meets for breakfast, then Eile and Sunny are taken to the airport for their honeymoon journey. They are headed for a cabin owned by Sunny's parents on a small lake north of the Lolo National Forest in the Northern Bitterroot Mountains in Idaho. It's fairly isolated, with no TV, no computer, no telephone, nothing, just a satellite radio for emergency use. No interruptions of any kind, just seven days of hiking, boating, fishing, swimming, and relaxing, with no soul for dozens of miles around. They fly to Missoula, Montana, then take a floatplane, the only way into the region other than on foot or horseback. They arrive in the early afternoon. After they get settled in, they go for a swim and have sex. They then get cleaned up and dressed to take a hike. Along the way they are confronted by Col. Torain Thegn, Neo Ivor Zorndyke, and Leannán Soit. They try to seize the Girls. They catch Eile, but Sunny escapes. Soit sends lizard-hounds after her, who chase her over a cliff into the lake. They assume she is dead.

But Sunny survived. She swims back to the cabin and calls a mayday on the satellite radio.

Back in Denver, Medb is presenting gifts to the wedding party, when Masie alerts her to the distress call. Dracula takes Differel and Fael to the cabin as Giovanna accompanies them, where they find Sunny, and she tells them what happened. She also reveals that, while not as resourceful as Medb, her parents nonetheless believed in being prepared, and she is able to give them clothing, water, food, and weapons from a secret supply cache. Sunny, Differel, Giovanna, and Fael start tracking the kidnappers while Dracula waits at the cabin for the others.

The wedding party goes to Buckley Air Force base, where a military transport is ready and waiting. On board, Mabuse give Uallach another dose of the Vampiric repressor drug so she can remain active in the daytime. Houlihan insists upon coming along, but that requires that he take another dose of the drug Mabuse developed to relieve his Alzheimer's and restore his faculties. It's not a cure or even a treatment, just a temporary relief. It's also dangerous, but he insists and she relents. They fly to Malmstrom Air Force Base in Montana, where Ross has a rapid deployment force assembled. Once they arrive, they are provided with clothes and supplies, and weapons for those who want them, and then board helicopters for the trip to the lake.

The rapid deployment team arrives first and secures the area. When the wedding party arrives, it is nightfall. Though the others are game, Medb is reluctant to go out after Eile at night with people who are not properly trained, and Uallach, Ceithlenn, and Houlihan concur. She decides to set out in the morning, but sends Dracula and Houlihan on ahead with a tracking device so they can more easily follow.

Eile is taken deep into the mountains. Though they keep an eye on her, they do not shackle her or even try to restrict her movements. They tell her that the lizard-hounds are patrolling around them, and they will attack her if she gets too far from Soit, but even if she gets away, there's nowhere for her to go except the cabin, and they'll just follow her back there, nor will they be happy she put them to that kind of trouble. She acquiesces without complaint, because though she's dressed warmly, she has no food, water, or other survival gear, or compass or map to make it out on her own. They do not arrive at their destination before nightfall and they camp out. They tell her they can use chains and handcuffs to secure her to a tree, but would rather not, and she assures them she won't go anywhere. So they give her a blanket, food, and water, and leave her alone. With nothing else to do, she goes to sleep, to conserve her energy.

It starts to get dark, and Sunny, Differel, Giovanna, and Fael debate whether to press on. They decide to go for it. Giovanna's powers will increase after the sun goes down, and both she and Fael do better at night. Sunny and Differel will be at a disadvantage, but Differel has come prepared with night vision devices that provide panoramic views and combine thermal imaging with image intensification. They head on out with Giovanna in the lead and Fael bringing up the rear. Dracula appears with Houlihan, both of whom are welcome. Dracula gives Sunny the tracking device. Houlihan discovers he can see in the dark as well as Differel and Sunny, making Sunny speculate that the drug Mabuse developed was derived from Vampiric parasites. Around about midnight, however, they decide to stop and rest until dawn.

In the morning, the wedding party starts out. Ross orders the rapid deployment force to stay behind and wait for a signal to come in and attack. Medb gives Shasta a tracking device and has her take point. Medb leads the main group with her own device. The core of the group consists of Wendy as medic and Sjauken, Luasaigh, Betty, Mariam, and Mabuse carrying supplies. Maela, Oda, Sheraton, Annis, and Dolores are armed and travel with them. Ross, also armed, brings up the rear. Ceithlenn and Kojoro take the flanks. Liadan and Uallach are the wild cards, going where they will and doing whatever seems necessary at the time. The going is tough for those not used to such strenuous activities and for Uallach who is deprived of her Vampiric powers, but everyone helps each other as needed, including with moral boosting.

Thegn, Zorndyke, and Soit continue their trek with Eile, and by noon arrive at a temple carved out of the face of a cliff. It sits under an overhang created when it was excavated, at the bottom of a rocky hollow. They enter and meet their confederate, a woman named Biróg. She is angry they didn't get Sunny as well, and it's obvious to Eile that she has her own agenda unknown to the other three. Nonetheless, they take her to a makeshift command & control center, and Thegn fires up a satellite communication system to send a message.

The advanced party finds the remains of the kidnappers' campfire and Fael estimates they are only an hour ahead of them. They pick up the pace and shortly thereafter are attacked by the lizard-hounds. They kill them all with no casualties, but are afraid the battle may have been heard. Houlihan goes on ahead with Fael, while Differel sends Dracula back to tell Medb of their progress. When they arrive at the temple, they decide to go in rather than wait for the main group, and Sunny leaves the tracking device outside.

When the marriage party stops to rest and eat at noon, Ross gets a call on her mobile radio. Thinking it's from the rapid deployment force, she quickly discovers its from Thegn and she alerts Medb. He identifies his co-conspirators and states that he has Eile, but that Sunny got herself killed when she tried to escape. He makes certain demands for Eile's release. Medb demands to talk with Eile and she confirms that everything Thegn said is true, but uses coded words to relate that she can't be sure Sunny's dead, and there is a fourth conspirator, and Medb informs her the same way that Sunny is alive. Thegn gives Ross and Medb 24 hours to agree and 72 to comply, and warns them not to attempt a rescue or Eile will die. After he cuts off, Medb realizes Thegn and his people are unaware they are already in route. They can use that to their advantage. Dracula appears and tells them about the temple. Medb sends him back and the group gets under way again.

Eile tells Thegn and the others Medb and Ross would never agree to their demands, and with Sunny dead, Medb won't rest until she's hunted them all down. Their best chance is to let her go and she will try to get Medb to leave them alone. They are unimpressed, thinking they have the upper hand. They even go so far as to explain their plan. Behind the temple is a cave system, and living within it is a prehistoric creature, a living fossil. It would make a potent biological weapon, and they believe they can control it. The items they demanded for her release will help them achieve that, but if worse comes to worse, they can always threaten to release the creatures. But the point is moot: not knowing where they are, Medb and Ross have no choice but to agree. Once they have control of the creature, their ultimate plan is to offer it as a bioweapon to the highest bidders, one per continent, while also retaining it for their own purposes as a source of perpetual blackmail.

As the advance party progresses down the cave entrance, they encounter side tunnels, but Differel decides to stick to the main tunnel. It terminates at a ledge overlooking a chamber the size of a gymnasium, where a lab of sorts has been set up. There is a fair amount of activity going on, but they can't tell what's happening, except that it seems to involve some kind of insect or spider-like creature. Differel signals to the others to wait and then descends a metal spiral staircase. A trio of guards try to detain her, but she bluffs her way past them, claiming to represent the operation's backers, and she is greeted by the lab manager. He tells her the project is proceeding well, but they need certain items to finish it. When Differel asks, he describes them, and states that Col. Thegn is working on getting them. She tries to find out about the nature of the project in a roundabout way, but before she can get very far, Thegn, Zorndyke, and Soit enter the chamber with Eile. Soit recognizes her immediately, and Thegn tries to summon more guards as the trio in the lab close in. Dracula appears, however, and seizes his communicator as Giovanna deals with the three guards. Fael and Houlihan round up the scientists and technicians as Sunny greets Eile and Differel confronts the three instigators. They are uncooperative, and somewhat overconfident that their security people will rally. Eile warns Differel about Biróg, but also maintains that she has her own agenda. It takes some effort, but she gets Thegn, Zorndyke, and Soit concerned enough that they agree to cooperate. Thegn orders security to stand down and to look for Biróg and detain her. Differel sends Dracula to contact Medb and tell her they have everything in hand. As soon as he is gone, Biróg appears, snatches Sunny, and disappears. Differel demands to know where they have gone. Zorndyke suggests the deep cavern where they collect their specimens. Soit volunteers to lead them there. The entire advanced party follows her deeper underground.

Dracula appears to Medb and the main group as they reach the dead lizard-hounds. Medb sends Dracula back with Ceithlenn and Uallach. When they reach the temple, she has the unarmed people remain outside with Liadan while she goes in with the armed people and Kojoro. They find the lab chamber with Dracula, Ceithlenn, and Uallach, but Thegn and Zorndyke are gone, along with the security guards. The scientists explain that they left as soon as the other women went with Soit to the deep cavern. Medb has the others brought in to help the scientists, who were being forced to work on the project, and puts Mabuse in charge of figuring out what was going on. Then she leaves Ross in command as she, Ceithlenn, and Uallach follow after them.

Biróg takes Sunny to a rift as wide as a football field and virtually bottomless. The far ledge is lower than the near ledge, and a metal bridge-stairway has been set up bridging the gap. On the far ledge is an ancient altar with a more recent chain and collar attached to it. Sunny assumes that Birog wants to use her as a sacrifice and tries to fight back, but Biróg stuns her using magic. She takes her across the chasm and chains her to the altar. Then she explains that cutting her throat would be too quick. Her intention is to unleash the insect creatures on the world, to scour it of all animal life in preparation for the return of the Great Old Ones. They are attracted to blood, but she wants Sunny to experience the exquisite death of being eaten alive by the swarm. Grabbing Sunny's arm, she takes a knife and makes a series of slash marks on her forearm, not deep enough to be life-threatening, but sufficient to bleed. She then walks back up the stairs bridge. At the top she pauses and turns around to watch Sunny struggle trying to free herself. She turns back --

-- and finds herself staring into the muzzle of Differel's pistol. Differel shoots her in the face, then orders Giovanna to go. The girly Vampire leaps across the rift as Houlihan charges across. Differel looks for Soit, but finds her gone. Fael shouts a warning and Biróg attacks Differel, knocking her gun away. Fael transforms and engages Biróg as Differel scrambles for the pistol. When she has it, she finds Fael and Biróg locked in a savage wrestling match. She sees Giovanna free Sunny and she gets her across as Houlihan covers them. Medb arrives and she, Ceithlenn, and Uallach engage Biróg. Eile joins Houlihan and they take shots at Biróg, but she blasts Eile, knocking her unconscious. Houlihan gets her out of the way and Differel gets a clear shot. She empties her gun into Biróg and she falls off the ledge into the rift.

They pause to check on Eile, when they hear a squealing, clickering sound from way behind them. Insect creatures emerge onto the far ledge and mill around, as if searching for something. Sunny realizes they are homing in on her blood. Medb orderes Ceithlenn and Uallach to get her and Eile away, but it is too late: the creatures find the blood trail and head for the bridge. Differel orders Medb to warn the others, and she disappears. Houlihan volunteers to remain behind to hold them off. Differel tries to get him to leave with her, but relents. She gives him the shotguns and bandoleers of clips, pounds him on the shoulder with a fist, then climbs on Fael's back and rides her as they and Giovanna race back to the lab chamber.

They arrive in time for a report from Mabuse. Sometimes evolution makes a mistake. It creates a creature so well adapted to a particular lifestyle or so adaptable to any lifestyle that it threatens the whole ecosystem. Mankind may be such a creature; the jury is still out, and its native intelligence could still save it. However, the insect creatures are an indisputable example. They are a primitive arthropod resembling fossils from the Carboniferous Era. They are voracious feeders, something like a cross between a land-bound piranha and a spider, and will attack anything regardless of size. Though barely larger than a rat, they attack as a swarm, like army ants, and can strip flesh from bones in minutes. They possess a powerful neurological venom that kills in less than an hour, which aids in hunting. They are prodigious breeders, capable of laying thousands of eggs after a single mating, and they mate frequently. They could have scoured the land of all life larger than a housefly, but for some reason they became trapped in these caves. Being cannibalistic they have survived by eating their own kind, but if provided with an abundant food source, they can vastly multiply their numbers in months. If they get out, they can devour every living thing on an entire continent. Ross calls the rapid deployment team and orders them to evacuate. She then calls Malmstrom AFB and commands a General Order 24 in 12 hours. When asked what that means, she states it is an order to sterilize this whole area with a 10 megaton nuclear device. When the others are appalled, she tells them that the creatures must be contained her or they will have to abandon the Americas north of the Panama Canal.

Medb orders everyone out. Eile awakens and finds out what her Uncle did. She's prepared to go back and get him, when Differel orders Dracula to fetch him. When Dracula arrives, he finds Houlihan out of ammunition and prepared to squash them with the shotgun butts. Dracula grabs him and takes him back to the lab cave. Medb wants to seal the entrance to the lower caverns, but they have no explosives. Dracula goes to Caerleon headquarters and returns with bricks of plastic explosives and electronic detonators. The Girls and Houlihan set half the charges and get out. They blow the tunnel, but when Dracula goes to check, he reports the explosives opened up some other tunnels and the creatures are still coming. Medb organizes a firing line as Houlihan and the Girls plant explosives on the overhang to collapse on and destroy the temple. Ross gives Sheraton a signaling device to direct the missile and tells her to place it at the top of a nearby ridge. When asked why she chose her, Ross states she does not trust her, and figures this way she can do something constructive before she deserts them.

Houlihan and the Girls finish setting the rest of the explosives, when the creatures pour out of the temple. They are cut off, and the creatures head for Sunny, smelling the blood. Houlihan pushes her out of the way and they attack him. Uallach and Dracula appear, driving off the creatures and getting Houlihan and the Girls away. As the party shots the creatures, Medb sets off the explosives and the temple is buried, sealing off the entrance to the caverns. Uallach then roasts those left as the women mop up any stragglers. Ross is almost attacked by one when Sheraton shows up and kills it. When asked why she returned, she makes a snide remark about not being able to outrun a nuclear blast.

As Ross calls off General Order 24 and requests extraction, everyone gathers around Houlihan. There's nothing anyone can do, not even the sorceresses. Houlihan dies in Eile's arms as they say goodbye.

When they arrive at Malmstrom, an honor guard places Houlihan in a coffin for transport to Denver. Medb and Ross tell Eile they will make all the funeral arrangements, but Eile is too grief-stricken to care.

Upon arrival in Denver, Medb and Ross take charge of the coffin as the rest take Eile and Sunny home. The Girls sequester themselves in their bedroom, and Eile cries as Sunny hold her.

Two days later, the wedding party assembles at Fort Logan National Cemetery in Denver, except Medb. When it becomes obvious she will not show up, Ross starts the ceremony. Six Marines in dress uniform, past friends of Houlihan, remove the casket from the chapel and place it on a limbert and caissons pulled by a single horse. A Marine squad in dress uniforms assigned to the cemetery forms up. A sergeant with a sword leads a rifle party of seven men as an honor guard. Behind them are a bugler and a drummer. Sjauken walks before the horse, which is led by two more Marines as the pallbearers march on either side. Immediately behind it two Marines carry a wreath. Ross heads the mourners in her dress uniform, followed by Eile and Sunny, and then the wedding party with Houlihan's civilian friends in amongst them. As they march to the grave site, the drummer taps out a slow, dirge-like marching beat.

When they reach the site, the pallbearers remove the casket and place it on the byre over the grave as the mourners sit or stand in the reviewing area. The pallbearers then retire off to the side past the foot of the casket. The honor guard marches past and assembles off to the side past the head of the casket. The drummer and bugler join the honor guard, but stand apart. The wreath carriers place the wreath at the head of the casket over the headstone, then retire to join the pallbearers. Ross and Sjauken move to the side of the casket opposite the mourners, with Ross at the head and Sjauken in the middle.

Sjauken, dressed in his old WW2 uniform with his decorations, proceeds with the funeral. When he delivers his sermon, he begins, "To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under Heaven. A time to laugh and a time to cry; a time to dance and a time to mourn." He then speaks of the cycle of life and the courage to live it despite the inevitabilities. Ross then gives a eulogy, describing Houlihan's military record and achievements, and then his closest friend and lover gives one, describing him as a person. Sjauken finishes the ceremony and offers a prayer.

Ross calls for attention, and the drummer makes a drum-roll. Five jets approach in a chevron formation, but before they pass overhead, one peels off and the rest enact the missing man formation. The sergeant has the rifle squad give a three-volley salute. Once they finish, the drummer makes another drum-roll, and the bugler plays Taps as Ross, Sjauken, and the Marines give the final salute.

Afterward, the drummer beats out a rhythm as the pallbearers step forward, raise the flag off the casket, and conduct the folding ceremony. The last one passes it to Ross, who accepts it and salutes, then takes it to Eile. Kneeling in front of her, she offers her the flag and says,

"On behalf of the President of the United States, the Commandant of the Marine Corps, and a grateful nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your loved one's service to Country and Corps."

Eile accepts it, and Ross returns to the head of the coffin as the pallbearers withdraw. Sjauken gives one final prayer and the benediction. The Marines reassemble and march back to the chapel, the drummer marking the beat. The mourners begin to file past the coffin, offering a final farewell, then follow the Marines. Ross is the last leave, with Eile, Sunny, and Sjauken remaining. Eile tells Sjauken he doesn't have to wait, and he says he'll meet them at the chapel. She tells Sunny the same thing, but Sunny puts her arm around her and says that she's not just her partner anymore, but her spouse, and she'll be there for her forever and always. Eile leans against her and Sunny lays her head on hers.

Back at the Girls' house, Sunny sits with Eile in their bedroom until she falls asleep. Sunny then goes downstairs, and finds the wedding party, minus Sjauken, in the foyer. Ross, Sheraton, and Differel are on cell phones. Ross reports that Thegn has turned up at Malmstrom AFB. Sheraton reports that Zorndyke has been seen in Spain. Differel reports Soit has retreated to Africa. Ceithlenn appears and reports that Biróg survived the fall into the chasm and she tracked her into the wilds of Canada. Medb nods, and states that after making sure Eile is okay, they go hunting. Everyone present agrees.

Eile appears on the stairs and says no. Sjauken is with her, but Sunny could have sworn he hadn't been upstairs. Medb argues with her, but Eile maintains she has no right to vengeance, then asks if she doesn't, who does? Sunny replies no one, and Eile nods and states that's right. She would rather leave it to divine justice. When Medb scornfully asks what if there is no divine justice, then she replies that it's like Sjauken said at the funeral, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, but that's life. Medb accuses Sjauken of interfering, but Eile states he said nothing to her. She then lays down the law. She understands Differel and Ross have security considerations, and that Uallach and Ceithlenn have their own concerns, but if anyone wishes to pursue revenge, they do so for their own sake and not for hers or her Uncle's. Medb acquiesces when she sees the others agree with Eile. Eile then states that she's tired of mourning death. This is her wedding and she wants to celebrate life. She reminds everyone that there is a Wake scheduled for the afternoon, and she for one wants to attend.

At the Wake, Eile wanders around watching the festivities. People go up to a life-sized cardboard poster of Houlihan in a pink tutu with a tiara, wings, and wand, from a time he lost a bet, and toast it with shots of pink-colored peppermint schnapps, then pick up a fairy-wing brooch and pin it on. Everyone is having a good time, including those who aren't normally joiners: Uallach step-dances with a couple of Houlihan's entertainer friends, while Ceithlenn and Fael challenge the Marines to physical contests. Marines and civilians alike tell hilarious stories which have everyone in stitches. Ross has a drinking contest while Differel has an animated discussion about guns and cigars. Betty, Dolores, Wendy, Kojoro, and Giovanna play music with a Marines band while Morghan, Mariam, and Liadan sing and Sunny dances the jitterbug with a civilian. Maela trades recipes with a Marine cook while Annis and Shasta swap stories with a couple of Marine commandos. Oda and Mabuse are off at a table with Sjauken, talking, and Eile hopes they are burying the hatchet. Joyce serves the buffet while Sheraton tends bar.

Eile cannot find Medb, but Sjauken directs her out back. She finds her sitting alone, though for a moment she thought someone else is around. She asks Medb if she is okay, and she replies she is, she just isn't in the mood for feeling festive and she didn't want to spoil the party. She better than anyone understands the purpose of the Wake, but she feels a celebration is inappropriate as long as her Uncle's death has gone unredressed. She is also concerned whether Eile really has closure. Eile tells her that she isn't just celebrating life, she's also grateful she had a chance to interact with her Uncle one last time as she used to, before he succumb to his disease, that he was able to give her away, and they could say goodbye. She is also glad he had the chance to go out as he always wanted, with a bang, and not the whimper he feared would be his fate. Medb states all of that is Mabuse's doing, but Eile tells her she could have made her Uncle stay home and didn't, despite the risks. As such, she thinks Medb's really feeling guilty about getting him killed. As far as she's concerned, Medb is ultimately responsible for everything that happened, but she couldn't be happier. She steps up and hugs Medb, something she rarely did, and Medb returns it, patting her on the head. Eile then coaxes her to join the fun, and Medb promises she'll be in in a minute.

After Eile leaves, Medb senses a presence, and sees a dark-skinned caucasian man -- even his eyes are dark -- materialize out of thin air. Nyarlathotep congratulates Medb on her victory, but maintains the battle goes on. She contradicts him, and states he has lost. By his agreement, he must now leave Eile alone. He acquiesces, but before he disappears, he rejoins that he never made the same promise regarding Sunny. Medb grins and dares him to try, and when he is gone, she enters the room with a light heart. Shouting a battle cry, she yells, "Let us get this party started!" as everyone present cheers.

Ancient Roman Aqueducts

Several features of ancient Rome are so idiosyncratic that they are what people think of when they imagine Rome, features such as towns, baths, and roads. Their aqueduct system is another. Though many ancient cultures, in both the New and Old Worlds, used aqueducts, as with almost everything else the Romans built it on a massive scale. Besides, there's nothing more iconic of Rome than a multi-tiered, arched, stone aqueduct crossing a valley, except perhaps the Coliseum. The fame of the Roman system is in part due to the iconic structures just mentioned; also its reliability and durability (parts of the system were still in use up to modern times); and finally to the fact that most of the details of construction and maintenance were recorded in writing.

What makes this all the more fascinating is that those structures are not themselves the aqueduct; they are merely bridges that carry the aqueduct. In fact, the whole system more than anything else exemplifies Roman engineering genius. There is too much information for me to impart in a blog like this; I would suggest anyone interested to read the Wikipedia article. However, I can list the more interesting aspects of the system that I discovered during my research.

Of course, everyone knows the aqueducts supplied water to Roman cities and towns, but that's almost an understatement. The Romans were practically awash in water (no pun intended); they have been described as having a water-extravagant economy. Most of it was used for the baths, but there was so much water coming in that it was also used for fountains (from which people collected the water they needed each day), latrines (which used running water to carry the waste away), and in the better homes (domus and insulae often had access to running water). Waste water was in turn carried away by a system of sewers and dumped into a water source. This allowed Roman communities to remain clean and relatively free of disease. There was also enough water to be used for mining operations, milling, and irrigation of gardens and farms.

Sources for aqueducts included springs, dammed reservoirs, and rainfall; lakes and rivers were seldom used. The water fed into a catch basin before discharging into the aqueduct conduit. This not only ensured a more or less constant supply, but also allowed silt and debris to settle out before the water entered the conduit. Their course was as carefully surveyed as a road, but unlike a road they were not perfectly straight. The reason is because the water was moved by gravity only, using a constant gradient. These gradients were very shallow; a 31-mile aqueduct only dropped 55 feet along its entire course; that's just 1 foot every 3000 feet. This allowed the water to maintain a constant flow without going so fast as to damage the aqueduct by erosion. As such, the aqueducts followed the contours of the land to maintain the constant gradient.

Conduits were built from waterproof concrete faced with bricks. They were flat-bottomed and covered, to reduce evaporation and prevent debris from getting in. Most conduits were buried as much as three feet underground. Of the 500 miles of conduits that served Rome, only about 30 miles were above ground. In places where pipes had to be used, ceramic pipes were preferred over lead. (Contrary to popular, and even some academic, belief, the Romans were well aware of the health risks of lead.) Most conduits operated at two-thirds full. (Image of an underground conduit below.)



If the course of the aqueduct encountered an obstacle it could not conveniently go around and was too steep to crossover, the Romans bored a tunnel straight through to the other side. Often they worked at either end and met in the middle; another example of their engineering prowess in that the meeting point was usually spot on, with only a very minor offset. If a downslope was too steep, the flow was stepped downwards, the conduit widened, or the water discharged into a receiving tank before returning to the aqueduct. Arched bridges like the one in the image above carried conduits across valleys and hollows. (Schematic below.)



If the valley was too wide, an inverse siphon was used to draw the water up the other side; see the image below.



In this case, lead pipes encased in concrete were used because only lead was strong enough to withstand the pressure of the water. However, the flow and the eventual build-up of mineral deposits on the inside reduced the amount of lead contamination in the water. See the schematic below.



Like roads, aqueducts required frequent inspection and maintenance, to clear away debris, remove hardwater deposits, and fix breaks. They were also well-regulated, in that water for private use was provided by paid subscriptions, the payment based on the amount of water delivered, and the authorities had to watch out for attempts to defraud by not paying for one's fair share.