Mark Simpson's Blog, page 18

Mark Simpson Now on Patreon

I’m now on Patreon. If you would like to help a stray writer keep on straying – in a world in which the traditional structures for the...

A Taste of the Forbidden – Coca Cola’s ‘Pool Boy’

Mark Simpson on the sweet fetishism of Coca Cola’s ‘delightfully slutty soda ad’ How much Coca Cola ads have changed since the famous singalong, smiley, folksy, innocence of the famous 1971 commercial! How much the world has changed. If it were remade today you’d be forgiven for thinking that song would have to be retitled: ‘I’d Like to Teach the World to Perve (In Perfect Harmony)’. ‘Pool Boy’, the latest ad in Coca Cola’s current ‘Taste the Feeling’ campaign, has prompted a veritable geyser...

I Don’t Bite – Unless You Ask Me To!

England rugby captain Dylan Hartley was spotted bonding on the touchline with Jonathan Joseph at the England v Scotland match last weekend, Hartley playfully teasing Joseph’s pretty mouth. They’re both highly edible. Even more so sandwiched together. The touching scene put me in mind of this documentary some years ago about the arresting (rom)antics of a Lancashire amateur rugby club and their pride in their well-endowed captain. And also the time I attended the Army & Navy rugby match at Twi...

The Ultimate Male Consumer

Male grooming seems to be growing a pair. I recently wrote about a rather arresting TV ad for Below the Belt antiperspirant gel – for testicles. Here’s another, viral ad for the same brand, the butch Scottish voiceover perhaps playing naughtily on Gerard Butler’s hairy grooming forays. It’s exciting to see that at last, male grooming is getting up close and personal. And also that perhaps the most important but most overlooked male consumer of all is stepping out of the shadows and finally be...

Mark Simpson At Birmingham City University Discussing ‘What It Means To Be a Man’

On the 22nd March I’m appearing on a panel at Birmingham City University with John Mercer and Dr Clarissa Smith, chaired by Jose Arroyo. We’re discussing ‘What it Means to Be a Man in the 21st Century‘. I have no idea of course what it means to be a man. So I’ll wear some camouflage trousers and big boots. The event begins at 6.15pm. Admission is free.

The post Mark Simpson At Birmingham City University Discussing ‘What It Means To Be a Man’ appeared first on marksimpson.com.

Uplifting Visions

Because I’m such a dedicated fan of yoga (in kilts) I’m overlooking the beards and posting this very uplifting BBC Scotland video of Finlay, a yoga teacher from Dundee, and his pupil Justin, practising their inspirational moves in the bracing Caledonian countryside. And while we’re all inspired, I thought I would also post this spornographic video ‘The Homoerotic Side of Wrestling’ below. To be fair to the wrestlers, the homoerotics is mostly in the naughty editing here. And also the design o...

Superhero Games: The Jacked Joy of Gymnastics

Last year, in the run-up to the Rio Olympics I wrote, only slightly feverishly, about the inspiring way modern men’s gymnastics is responding to our hyper-visual culture and the spornosexual trend of eager male self-objectification by shyly taking its top off, going back to its naked/’gymnos’ Greek roots and showing us its ‘totally jacked’ body. And selling us jeans and cornflakes. The globally-transmitted HD spornographic pleasures of the Olympics last Summer naturally only served to acceler...

Rio Sporno – When Male Stripping Became An Olympic Sport

Mark Simpson onsome happy, warm – if scantily-dressed – memories of 2016 Last Summer in Brazil atiny island in the South Pacific took on all the major sporting superpowers – and won the Olympics. Before a starting pistol was even fired. When the flagbearer for Tonga, Pita Taukatofua, 32, made his sensational appearance at the opening ceremony in Rio, wearing just a grass skirt, a gallon of baby oil and a saucy grin – while gripping his massive flagpole with both hands – he melted […]

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The Straightness of George Michael

Back in the early 1980s, I was one of those annoying “alternative” British teens who, when pressed, would admit they quite liked “Wham Rap!,” which extolled the freedoms of unemployment (“I’m a soul boy! – I’m a dole boy!”), and acknowledged he was “really talented,” but essentially dismissed George Michael as “too commercial.” Which in the inverted snobbery of the era essentially meant “uncool.” And also – you may find this rather difficult to believe – “too straight.” Me on the straightness...

Artisan Abstinence Pants

‘Are you tired of manhandling your manhood?’ No siree bob. But thanks all the same for offering to help out. Of course these anti-fap pants, ‘made of Beechwood’ and dreamt up when ‘motorcycling through Colombia’, had to be made in Brooklyn. And cost $28. The official point of these environmentally-friendly contraptions seems to be delicately saving you from the horror of actually having to touch your own penis or ball sack when adjusting your undercarriage. Or maybe save others from the indec...