Neil Pasricha's Blog, page 359

#469 Seeing a dog that looks like a dog you know

My sister and I killed Dale.

Well, to be honest, the poor goldfish didn't stand a chance. Nina was six and I was seven when my parents let us have our first pet and the slippery slugger swam in our front hallway for ten happy days before being savagely murdered by overfeeding.

See, we wanted to show Dale our love so much we cleaned his bowl regularly, taped ocean drawings to the back of his home, and fed him every time our TV show went to commercial break.

He wasn't a suicidal glutton when we...

#470 Finally getting the perfect picture

AWESOME!

Photos from: Nat and Ago Mazzarelli

#471 The moment at the bar when everyone starts singing together

Let's go out.

Let's grab friends, let's grab drinks, let's make it happen.

Now, if you're like me then even though you love hitting a busy scene, you sorta end up sticking to your own corner booth or tipsy table with your own group of friends. Sure, sure, rogue eyeballs drift and linger, small-talk could be swapped at the bar, and elbows might accidentally disrespect the buffer, but for the most part most of us stick to our own teams.

That's what makes it special when everyone at the bar...

#472 Finishing your last exam

After sitting on a wobbly wood desk coloring in multiple choice bubbles for hours, you finally tip-toe to the front and hand in your last exam. Now you can say goodbye to biology, say goodbye to  photosynthesis, say goodbye to hypotenuses, and say goodbye to the hot stench of chalk dust and B.O. sitting heavy in the hot room.

Now you can say goodbye to early mornings, say goodbye to pop quizzes, and say goodbye to weekend homework.

Now you can say hello to summer.

It's finally here.

AWESOME!

I'd l...

#473 When that social event you didn't want to go to gets cancelled

Catch you next time, distant cousin's baby shower. We totally would have been there, new coworker's birthday party. Sorry it didn't work out, someone we don't know's wedding.

AWESOME!

– Email message –

"My parents, sister, and I were fortunate enough to spend my 20th birthday in the U.S. Virgin Islands. I had shown my father your website, leading to a copy of The Book of Awesome for my mother on mother's day and then surprising me with one for my birthday. Today I spent some quality sand...

#474 When someone who doesn't like pizza crust gives you their pizza crust

Personally, I'm a crustless gentleman.

Gimme that melty tip of of cheesy goodness, gimme that pepperoni with crispy edges, and then gimme another slice.

Yes, for my money Belly Space Analysis dictates I'm better off grabbing another slice from the box rather than chomp away at the crust's puffy blandness. So I gaze up at the feasting lions clawing the pizza zebra to bits around me and offer up my crust to anyone who wants it.

Sometimes I even leave a little cheese and sauce at the edges to...

#475 When your guests do the dishes even after you told them not to

It's dinner party night.

Yes, sweaty and flushed, you run around baking bread and breaking eggs before that doorbell bing-bongs, the guests ping-pong, and everyone sits down to eat up your delicious homemade meal.

Of course, you enjoy the dinner — you love it, it's great — but you don't really enjoy it. No, you're running around refilling glasses, folding napkins, scooping seconds, warming pies. You're cleaning crumbs, wiping babies, and keeping an eye on the kids table. While everyone sits...

#476 Biting off the last piece of the popsicle without losing any of it

Careful now.

You started strong but now you're down to the drippy ice-cold clump in the middle of the stick.

You can't reach it from the top, you can't reach it from the bottom, and using your fingers or a fork is cheating. No, you're going straight in and facing the big risk of a cherry chunk of icy goodness crashlanding into a neon pink stain on your shorts.

There's no time for stalling so put on your game face and let's get to it.

Take a deep breath and carefully twist the stick upside down...

#477 Starting the lawnmower on the first pull

Time for a trim.

Yes, step into those grass-stained workboots, toss on a faded ballcap, and roll the rusty mower out of the wobbly tin shed. You're about to spend an hour mindlessly chopping lawn so stare at those grass-covered wheels, duct-taped wires, and chippy paint patches before getting down to business.

Now, if you're like me then before pulling that cord you sort of get it in your mind that you're in for three or four full-body yanks before that machine starts purring. I don't know...

#478 Hearing a song that reminds you of someone you love

The song starts up.

Suddenly your brain flashes back to late nights lying on the faded corduroy couch with your first boyfriend. Scratchy records spin in the background, the TV flickers on mute, and you cuddle under thin blankets while everyone sleeps upstairs. The chorus builds up as you kiss in the shadows by the ping pong table …

The song starts up.

Memory jolts zoom you to late night teenage dance parties when everyone drove rustbuckets to the dark city park and met for sneaky cigarettes, a