Neil Pasricha's Blog, page 358
July 18, 2010
#459 Forks
Once upon a time we didn't have forks.
Yes, our ancient ancestors were forced to scoop saber-tooth tiger brains out with twigs, hold woolly mammoth meat over the fire with spears, and eat prehistoric pies with a spoon.
According to our egghead pals at Wikipedia, although the Ancient Greeks used forks as a serving utensil it took until the 10th century for them to become popular in Western Europe. Before then, Westerners only had spoons and knives. Most people chowed down with their hands, some ...
July 15, 2010
#460 The Childhood Super Jump
Close your eyes and let your brain slip back …
You're a tiny tot holding big hands walking down a sandy beach. As the sun sets over the glittery water the salty ocean breeze hits your hair and your feet squish into cool sand as somebody suddenly yells out "1-2-3 Wheeeeeeeeee!"
Your eyeballs pop, your chest lifts, your hands are squeezed tightly, and up you go…
AWESOME!
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July 14, 2010
#461 When you get in the car and notice someone filled up the tank
Nothing's worse than popping into first and noticing you're flirting with the big E.
Suddenly you're late for work, the date's on hold, and your party's stalled in the parking lot. Yes, jumping in a car and noticing it's out of gas ranks pretty high on 1000 Annoying Things, that non-existent netherlist we've mentioned before that also features #989 Realizing later in the day you missed a spot shaving, #988 When the person calls you back instead of listening to the voicemail you just left, and ...
July 13, 2010
#462 Pain
It's there for a reason.
Whether you're shredding your legs on a raspberry bush, scalding your hand in hot water, or taking an arrow to the chest in the forest, I got bad news for you, brother: that's gonna hurt. Yes, when our bodies take blows those powerful jolts make us cry salty tears, run for the hills, or crashland in hospital beds with limbs hanging everywhere.
But that pain really is there for three big reasons:
1. Stop! … Bandaid time. The first thing pain does is make you stop doing...
July 12, 2010
#463 The sound of a cork popping
Last year my friend Baxter popped a champagne cork off his head.
Yes, he bent over the bottle, gritted his teeth and twisted, and managed to shoot that cork like a speeding bullet right smack off his forehead. He stared up with his mouth forming a giant O of shock as bubbles foamed up and dripped on the carpet and a painful dark red bruise slowly formed right between his eyebrows.
Still sounded cool, though.
AWESOME!
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July 11, 2010
#464 When characters in movies visit a place you know
What a trip.
It's always a big moment when the flickering screen features one of these special scenes:
1. The Hometown Spotlight. This is when the characters come visit the city you live in. Nope, don't matter if it's terrorists fleeing the country, teen lovers filling gas on a road trip, or Batman batflying around the world to kidnap someone from a glass building. All that matters is that you get a little connection with the flick and feel proud your local spot is on display. (Note: Hometown S...
July 8, 2010
#465 When a work friend becomes an outside-of-work friend
The nine to five brought you together.
Cracking jokes by the copier, swapping stories on the line, laughing in the lunchroom, you found a friend between policies, procedures, and paperwork. When you got together you started noticing you were just you, just hanging out, just laughing about your day.
Then one day your friendship zoomed to a new level. Maybe you grabbed a beer one night, got a surprise birthday invite, or became new texting pals.
Yes, you turned a work friend into an...
July 7, 2010
#466 Using milk instead of water
What's up, instructions?
Why you gotta be recommending water in our pancakes, hot chocolate, and jello pudding? Why you trying to blandify our oatmeal, brownie mixes, and cream of mushroom soup?
Look, we're sorry but there's new chef in the kitchen and things are going to be a little different from now on. We're talking creamier hot chocolate, puffier pancakes, and brownies that will make tears of joy spray out your eyes like a sprinkler system.
We're talking about using milk instead of water...
July 6, 2010
#467 Guilty pleasure songs
We've all got some.
Just the other day my friend Vanessa and I were grabbing breakfast when we started talking about guilty pleasure songs. As I doused a tower of pancakes in a tidal wave of syrup we laughed about those songs you don't really tell your friends about. You know, it's those tracks on your iPod you're afraid someone will find, your secret bubblegum pop playlist with the ironic title, or the last track on a distant mix CD that still pulls powerful strings on your achy breaky...
July 5, 2010
#468 The moment of anticipation just before the first kiss
Stare into those eyes.
Pupils grow wide and hearts thump fast as brains jolt and thoughts rollercoaster around. Conversation jumbles and stumbles before fading into footnotes as fingers touch and linger, thoughts twist together, and eye contact drifts and sways before catching and connecting as everything goes quiet…
AWESOME!
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