Neil Pasricha's Blog, page 356

#438 Your Almost Name

It's what your parents were going to call you but didn't.

Flipping through baby books, chatting at bedtime, you better believe your folks had alternate identities in mind before you borned out. They thought about nicknames, shortforms, and tributes. They thought about spelling, rhyming, and meanings. Basically, they thought and hoped and wished all kinds of things for you even before you made it here.

Sometimes when you find out your Almost Name it feels — like putting on ...

#439 Checking somebody out and not getting busted

Sunglasses are a form of comfortable and protective eyewear that help prevent strong sunlight and UV rays from damaging your eyes. They are a popular fashion accessory, too. Try them at a restaurant, in a car, or on the beach.

AWESOME!

#440 Correctly guessing an old password you haven't used in a while

I knew you would never leave me, PIN.

AWESOME!

Photo from: here

#441 The point on a road trip when you're really far from where you started and really far from where you're going

Do you know that rickety bridge scene from the movies?

Violins screech and kettle drums swell as our hero tiptoes across a dangerous rope bridge swinging wildly over a dark canyon at the pulsing climax of the film. The audience gasps and grips their armrests as she kicks a loose plank and the camera painfully watches it whip and shatter against the rocky cliffside before falling into the deep river rapids below.

But after some tense moment there's a beautiful wide shot of our hero stepping...

#442 Figuring out how we got on this topic

Do you ever find yourself chatting with friends when someone suddenly says "Hey, how did we start talking about this?"

That's when you find yourself quickly unwinding your off-the-rails conversation by jumping backwards through scattered anecdotes and interconnected stories. As you unravel the jumbly mystery you're suddenly a speedy detective racing back through the universe at warp speed to tighten a couple screws so your tightly twisted brain can relax back into a world that makes sense...

#443 Looking up while underwater

Sunlight shimmers and glimmers across shaky waves as treetops twist into melted shadows. Silence clogs your ears as you drift alone in your secret underwater chamber deep in the ocean darkness or shallow in the backyard pool. Bubbles scream up all around you as you float like an astronaut in zero gravity and the world around you just smears and smudges and drifts away.

AWESOME!

Photo from: here

#444 Driving over a small hill in your car

Let's hit the suburban roller coaster.

When you're a little kid riding backwards in a wood-paneled wagon there's few things as fun as hitting a gut-twisting bump over a little hill on the highway. Or maybe you're at the back of the schoolbus, bouncing like jumping beans as you ride the waves, laughing with your snot-nosed pals amongst the slippery nylon seats on your way to the science center. Or maybe you're just cruising down dark roads, slipping through shortcuts, and winding off the...

#445 Pulling a weed and getting all the roots with it

Gardening ain't for sissies.

Nope, if you're getting down with the kneel down you know planting flowers, growing herbs, and trimming hedges is tough business, baby. Sun's beating wavy rays, dirt's clumping in your eyes, and worms squiggle in all directions as you attempt to plant petunias.

Those weeds are the worst of all.

Sharp stems and jagged leaves spread in all directions they slowly smear across the garden — devouring pristine patches of grass and gobbling up innocent tulips.

That's why...

#446 When your plugged up nostril just suddenly opens up with no warning

Nose, what's your deal?

We've been cursing you for the past hour for your snotty head-plugging ways. Breathing wasn't happening and we were left mouth-gasping for air every few seconds to bypass your thick bulletproof wall of headglue. And you remember when we tried blowing our brains into some tissues to clear your salty facejam, right? All we got for our troubles was wet Kleenex bits stuck to our upper lip and a pair of eyes popping from the pressure.

So we gave up, we gave in, we gave it...

#447 Walking into a crowded party and locking eyes with someone you know across the room

Ding-dong.

The door opens to you on the porch in your just-washed jeans and crispy clean shirt staring into a sweaty sea of strange faces. You walk in and stumble past a pile of shoes and a kissing couple while awkwardly scanning the room for some friendly faces. Stepping a bit deeper into the anonymous bass-thumping scene you move past empty bowls of chips, slippery wet countertops, and loud laughs … wondering for a second if you're in the right place.

Then it happens.

You make laserbeam eye...