Neil Pasricha's Blog, page 354
September 13, 2010
September 12, 2010
#419 Correctly guessing if the door is push or pull
Doors can be trouble.
Strutting to the mall, strolling to the store, you spy those glassy doubles in the distance just waiting for you to size them up and give them a big push or pull.
Sure, it looks easy, but we all know it's nothing but.
Nope, thanks to years of tense negotiations, backroom deals, and political infighting, the International Alliance for Door Design Consistency has reached a suffocating stalemate in its goal of coming up with one door we can all understand. So while those...
September 9, 2010
#420 Scratching your back on some random thing
The middle of your back is no hands land.
Those itchy islands off the coast of Spine Beach see a lot of shade and a lot of showers but not much scratchy, scratchy fingernail loving. When you're itching hard you might try the ol' Reverse Angle Elbow Bender a couple times before giving up and going with a classic:
1. Tree trunks. Yes, in addition to life giving oxygen, skin soothing shade, and strong stable shelters, trees are a natural back scratcher. Make sure you find the old withered one...
September 8, 2010
#421 Singing the guitar solo
Never stop wailing.
When you're singing along with the lyrics of a song and a guitar solo starts up make sure you keep onnnnnn going.
We can't have dead air in your steamy morning shower or all the fans will just hear the sound of you soaping up your armpits and blowing your nose. And that screaming mosh pit in your Toyota Camry is just jumping for more. You better blast those high-pitched guitar notes or they'll go home cold and disappointed.
Never stop wailling.
When the words fade out and the ...
September 7, 2010
#422 Hanging on
We're all pretty much the same.
Packed tightly in our skintight skin is a bumpy clump of slippery organs and brittle bones. Yes, you're a pile of bones, I'm a bucket of blood, you're a slab of muscle, I'm a chunk of chub. And no matter what we got squeezing through our veins, zooming through our brains, and dripping out our drains, one big thing just always remains.
We're all pretty much the same.
We're all pretty much the same.
We're all pretty much the same.
Baby brains buzz and little eardrums ...
September 6, 2010
#423 When the foul ball is flying towards you
And here's the pitch.
The bat cracks and the ball smacks high into the twilight sky. Eyeballs pop, voices cry, and the crowd rises as the ball dives down to the stands. Popcorn is dropped, gloves are smacked, and heartbeats thump as it rushes towards our seats.
AWESOME!
Congrats to our friend Chris Guillebeau who's new book The Art of Non-Conformity hits stands today!
Photo from: here
September 5, 2010
#424 Boat waving
These are the rules of the sea.
If you're on a boat you must wave to anyone who waves at you from another boat, you must wave to anyone who waves at you from land, and you must initiate waving to as many other boats as possible.
The only way you can avoid these rules is if you're a dog, or a pirate, or both.
AWESOME!
September 2, 2010
#425 When you're merging into traffic and there's no traffic to merge into
Forget speeding up, forget slowing down, forget twisting your neck in twelve different directions.
Nope, now's your chance to calmly merge without any worries and enjoy a smooth and relaxing drive home.
AWESOME!
Photo from: here
September 1, 2010
#426 Ripping off a square of plastic wrap that doesn't get stuck to itself
Plastic wrap is trouble.
When you're peeling a new sheet from the flimsy cardboard box I've got just two words for you: watch out. We both know that plastic wrap loves blowing in the wind and get all stuck to its bad self.
Next thing you know you're trying to frantically unpeel it, but unfortunately more and more just keeps getting stuck together. If you're like me, this is when you realize that the plastic wrap has defeated you. With your blood boiling you roll the wrap into a tight white...
