Jude Stringfellow's Blog, page 110

It's Been a "2020" Kind of Year

 My 2020 started just a bit early, in that on December 2, 2019 I was released from my very permanent and would be forever teaching position at an elementary school that literally begged me to come teach for them. I am THAT teacher, the one that teaches 6th graders at a higher learning level, so the school made such a fuss about me joining them.  Funny how a few months (from August to December) can make such an impact on the lives of OTHER teachers who didn't want to have to deal with the shared students we taught asking questions about how Bloom's Taxonomy scales and/or levels of observation could be applied to the disciplines the kids were learning other than Reading. (I taught Reading. There was a Writing teacher as well, and let me tell you, she was the WORST at stringing two sentences together let alone using proper grammar. Call me crazy, but if you're teaching kids grammar you should probably know it yourself!)   

I lost my job just before 2020 struck, but I wasn't upset about it. I was able to strike back and get a great severance package based on evidence of how badly they had wanted me to teach for them, and how abrupt my severance was.  My unemployment kicked in a few days after the settlement came in, and with the new income stacking up in the bank I decided to take off the entire teaching year and just sort of gather my thoughts, perhaps think about another line of work (such as Securities).  That's when COVID hit hard, more forced unemployment for some, a continuation for me.  Our government paid us to stay home and I applied for my teacher's retirement a bit early to ensure that I really didn't need to go back to work even through the end of what was already promising to be the strangest year this planet has ever encountered.

Sometime in the summer I realized I didn't know enough about trading securities to make an actual impact when I decided to go into the field. I began studying the fringes of the industry, and put my mind to work on getting to know everything I could about securities such as bonds, stock, mutuals, and T-bills. I wanted to know everything possible. I'm still in the middle of learning everything I can, but the good news is I am able to study at home and work from home selling insurance (Life, Health, P&C, and Workers Comp) as a 1099 producer - - enter Allstate.   

Allstate agents often hire producers and service managers on a salary basis to get them through tough times and then they routinely let them go so they save money and the producer has been paid, so no one is upset with the other party. That's what I've been doing for the past 3 months, and that assignment will end on Christmas Eve....Merry Christmas, you've lost your job!  It's OK, it was a temp thing. I expected to lose it around mid-January, so what's a few days? Earlier in the summer I accepted a two-week assignment that turned into a month! I was not selling anything; I was literally putting pieces of paper into their rightful place.  A little-known company had allowed their filing to become such a mess that it was causing them to lose business when they couldn't find the papers they needed for an unexpected audit. I took over the chore, and by takeover I mean I TOOK OVER and forced the actual people in the office to back the hell off so I could get their files in shape! It was one of the most fun jobs I'd ever done simply because I made it MINE and refused to back down! Those auditors were NEVER going to say they couldn't find what they needed after I got finished with that filing room/disaster.  

So here we are on the last week of the year 2020.  I look around my house and there isn't a single Christmas decoration in my house unless you count the ONE wrapped present that I just finished wrapping for my son and his wife.  We don't have a tree, we don't have garland, we don't have bells, whistles, ornaments, tinsel, or elves.  Laura and I spend our money on horses, feed, board, tack, saddles, vet bills and the like, so we don't have time or money to clutter the house with needless merriment, however we do really enjoy going out and looking at lights, decorations, trees, other people's stuff, and making a big deal going to see Santa with kids or friends who take their pets.  This year that's been rather sparse to be honest. We've seen one Santa and we've had one evening out going to see the lights in the park - - but it was incredible, I'll say that. 

ONE present was wrapped this year. That just made me laugh.  Because of apps like Venmo, PayPal, Amazon Prime, and others, I just didn't really need to buy an actual present for anyone.  I gave my daughter Caity my FitBit Versa 2, I wasn't using it.  I paid for Laura's board, and I gave Reuben and his wife Josie tickets to the most sought-after game for the Oklahoma Sooner season; the Bedlam match up with Oklahoma State! The grands will of course be gifted, but that's a Venmo thing to their mom and dad and I always wait until after Christmas to get Brandon his present to see what he didn't get - - it's a thing. It's our thing.  ONE FREAKING PRESENT is all I wrapped and I didn't have to do that, but I did decide that Josie needed more than the OU tickets since she's not really a fan.   

I wasn't put out like most were during 2020. The lockdowns and mask wearing were certainly annoying, but I only played at it, I didn't really lockdown, quarantine or even social distance that much. I rarely don a mask, and if I do I pull it down as soon as possible. I can't let the sheep mentality get me down, I've got too much to do.  I am hoping 2021 brings a bit more UPLIFTING news...uplifting being the key word. I'm looking for the RAPTURE!  There's simply NOTHING this world holds for me, and I just figure it's time to leave it - - while the leaving is good.  Here's hoping we see Jesus really soon.  I am ret-ta-go.  

Not Gonna Catch Me in the Belly of a Whale!

 This will be rather short and to the point. I was asked today why it is that I continue to love and pray for someone who seemingly isn't interested in me either praying or loving them.  I had to laugh.  The subject of my prayers and love (not affectionate love, mind you, but honest love), has absolutely no authority whatsoever to ask me to stop praying from him and he has zero authority to ask me to stop loving him. It really isn't his choice - - anymore than it is MY choice. I did NOT choose to love him. I did NOT choose to pray for him. I did NOT ask for this assignment, but as I have said both to myself and others, you will NEVER catch me sleeping in the belly of a whale because I didn't do what God asked me to do. NOPE. Not this girl. I am never ever going to be treading water hoping to drown before a fish finds me and decides to keep me "safe" just long enough to erode my skin, starve me, dehydrate me to the point of exhaustion before dragging me up and down deep waters on a loopty-loop fish-rollercoaster while I have only the strength to pray and ask God for His forgiveness! I will ALWAYS do what I am asked to do; and if that means I get into the closet and pray for someone who I've never met - - seems pretty easy to me! That's what I'm going to do.  It just feels really really good not to be all slimy with my hair full of fish mucus and so blinded by the absolute darkness that I can't see my hands folded in prayer before my face.

NO THANK YOU - - the man can go about his day to day, he can be who he's supposed to be, he doesn't have to contact me, he doesn't have to even KNOW that he's being prayed for. His mission is not my mission, and my mission is not his mission. I am going to do what I was asked to do, and I'm going to do it the best of my abilities because God was great and gave me the foresight to know when to pay attention to Him! Believe me, I've seen the gills in the past as they swam right past me. I know how close I've come to being considered BAIT. No thank you. I will just keep my feet dry and my soul connected to God.  It just seems to work out best for me when I do.  God will let the man know if God thinks the man needs to know. If the man argues with God because I'm praying for him, well all I can say is...belly up friend, hope you go down easy without too much of a fight.  I wouldn't wish the belly of a fish on anyone! God has HIS way of getting our full attention, doesn't He? 

Losing Weight the Natural Way

Let's start off with a lovely disclaimer:  "Disclaimer: This content including advice provides generic information only. It is in no way a substitute for qualified medical opinion. Always consult a specialist or your own doctor for more information. NDTV does not claim responsibility for this information."   

 
 

OK, now that is out of the way!  Where I am a "doctor", I am not a doctor of medicine. I hold an earned Ph.D. in Administration of Leadership so maybe I can use that education and some experience to lead you down a great new healthy path.  I'm doing it too, so you won't be alone!  C'mon, it will be fun.  Let's shed the pounds together. 

For about four months now I've been trying to knock off seemingly hundreds of needless pounds, but in reality, it's a lot closer to 30-35. I literally woke up in August of 2020 telling myself that this was it, I was absolutely tired of feeling sluggish, not having the confidence I needed to ride my horse properly, and not feeling as if I was doing myself any favors because I was quite literally heavier than I've ever been in my life, which included the times when I was nine months pregnant! Of course, each time I was nine months pregnant I was much much younger than I am today, so my body just sort of bounced back - - or made an attempt to. For years I've neglected myself and it was not only catching up to me but it was showing (EVERYWHERE).  

I didn't exactly fall off of my horse Casper, but I wasn't riding properly and I could tell I was putting a bit of a strain on him as well.  He weighed about 1000 pounds or so and with my weight, my saddle, tack, and blankets, I was putting 250 pounds on top of him. A horse can take right at 20% his/her body weight comfortably and there I was adding an additional 5%, which may not seem like much, but if you added 5% of your body weight to your back right now it wouldn't feel all that terrific would it? I knew it would take me a minute to lose the weight and I didn't want to continue paying board for a horse I couldn't ride, so I did end up selling Casper to a great family with three children. He's in a better place and it gave me the opportunity to focus on ME (the right way). 

Through a good plan of dieting with less calories, cutting the carbs as much as possible, and giving up anything not necessary such as preservatives, empty calories, starch, sugary snacks, and the habits of taking a snack or two after dinner, I managed to lose 10 pounds almost immediately. I think within two weeks I had shed the first 10 pounds; that was an amazing feeling. Adding walks, lifting weights, and basically continuing the process led to me losing another 10-12 pounds, but then something really bad happened; I hit a plateau. I hit the mother of plateaus! I was stagnant for literally 62 days! NO ONE DOES THAT.  

 

I ate correctly, drank only tea and water, slept over 8 hours a day, did the intermittent fasting, I was working out, lifting weights, punching my kickboxing bag, doing planks - - you name it, and I was doing it! I was the quintessential diet and exercise machine soldier! The result was a resounding nothing! The scale did not budge! What was I doing wrong? I couldn't figure it out so I just kept doing what I knew would somehow have to create a calorie deficit and I would eventually breakthrough - - that was my hope. My hope was built on sand. Just a bunch of worthless sand. I needed a rock! I need truth. I needed help.  

If you know me, you know I love to study. If I could be paid to study and research I would do that. I would do it for free, but I have to pay my bills. I love reading. I love studying, I love looking things up and finding out things that I've never known before. I am THAT student. I have always been THAT student. It has served me well. Through reading about breaking plateaus, I came across a simple, easy, and cheap way to break through any and every plateau and it's not only natural, it's so freaking easy (and often talked about) that I couldn't believe it would work. I had it in my head that there's no way this could work, but I'd give it a try anyway. Hey..guess what...it worked! 

I won't string you along like they did in the infomercial thing that I stumbled across, I'll just tell you exactly what I did and am doing, and you can jump right on it as well. You may think it's crazy bonkers, but you'd be a fool not to do it too, if in fact you need to (or want to) lose belly fat and get over that stupid scale issue I was having.   

Ready?  Lemon, ginger, cumin, cinnamon tea.  I add honey, blackseed oil and actual tea to it too. It's NOT just lemon being boiled, you have to boil the lemons in their peel to get the pectin you need to boost the metabolism past the point to where the rest of the mix can do the job(s) they were masterfully created by God to do.  SIMPLE...super simple. You choose how much you want to drink; I personally drink about 5-8 cups of it a day because I am THAT way too. I don't mind the taste, and I certainly want to continue losing the belly fat, back fat, even the boob fat (sorry boys) because I don't like big fat floppy boobs. I want my boobs to stand up and pay attention and it's really hard to do that when each one is the size of a small cantaloupe (too much information?). 

Here's the recipe I use so you can do it my way, but please, please, feel free to add to it and make it your own. 

4 cups of water 

1 big fat lemon, sliced rather thinly 

1 teaspoon of cumin 

1 teaspoon of cinnamon 

1 teaspoon of blackseed oil 

1 tablespoon of honey 

1 tea bag - - usually Earl Grey or Jasmine 

YOU LET IT BOIL for around 3-5 minutes, and then turn off the stove to let it cool down. You pour it into a glass container to add more water to it, and you pour yourself a cupful while it's hot. You let it cool in the fridge and drink it either hot or cold throughout the day. Again, I like mine hot, so I just reheat it in the microwave for a minute each time.  Believe me when I say it will work on so many levels. You will find yourself going to the bathroom to relieve yourself a bit more, you will find that you have more energy. You will start to see a change almost immediately, certainly by the next morning.  

Here's another trick/clue that the professionals told me through my research: weigh yourself around 5:00 a.m. or before the sun rises because you'll add weight to your body through liquid and/or food consumption during the day.  If you're honest you can take off 4-6 ounces for waste and it helps you to feel that much better about your true weight.  No one is going to freak out if you claim you weigh 4-6 ounces less than what the scale says. It's your little secret.  

There you have it. WEIGHT LOSS the natural way. Do talk to your doctor first if you feel you may need to do that. It's never a bad idea to get a professional opinion. I'm great at leading people in the right direction, but I will never claim to know what makes us tick! That's beyond my scope of education at this point.  

Best of luck to you, and seriously consider giving up anything that may hinder both your mind and your body from being the best it could be. You may find that sugar is simply not the antidote we all believed it could be.  I remember my granny was a stout woman, but she was a hard stout woman. She had rock solid muscles well into her 80s. When I thought about that and how she could achieve it I began to recall her diet, her daily exercise routine, and there it was, she had lemon and ginger tea almost every single day.  Why did it take so long for me to figure this out for myself? (Shakes my head). 

Do As I Say

 When I encounter women who are pissed at their husbands to the point of hearing them both belittle and degrade said husband, I am reminded EXACTLY why it is that I am single. I made the very same mistake(s) many women do when it comes to getting married.  I married the wrong man.  When I say that, when I say I married the wrong man, I'm not saying that he was wrong, bad, nasty, incredibly ignorant, base, or immoral - - well yes, I am saying that because he was, but for the sake of this blog I'm saying that the man in question isn't necessarily the problem. There are times ladies, myself included when WE are to blame because WE said yes when he asked us to marry him. WE said yes to ALL that is supposed to mean. WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO SAY YES?  It means we'll be willing to submit and subject ourselves to his authority and if WE (me) don't believe he has any authority over us then well WE are the problem - - he may also be a contributory factor but if WE said yes and then don't do what we are commanded to do through the Word, we are the ones who need to take the blame for it.  I learned this the hard way, it's the only reason I can say what I'm saying now. I have and am placing 100% of the failure of my marriage on myself EVEN though the man I married was in fact a complete and utter disaster, I am the one who agreed to marry him. No one put a gun to my head and forced me to say "I do".

In the book of Ephesians Paul tells us that a wife should submit herself to her husband as she would submit herself to Christ.  If she is unwilling to submit herself to Christ there is no reason to assume she will follow the rules and vows to begin with, but if she is a Christian, and she will submit her life and her obedience to Christ, then she is also likewise to submit herself to the decisions made by her husband IF HE IS UNDER CHRIST as well. If he is NOT then that's where the problem(s) begin and both parties should immediately get their souls in order because NOTHING will work for good if they can't get that position under control.  Jesus saved the man, Jesus saved the woman.  Jesus is the Head of the Church and the man is the head of the family. The wife is to submit her well being, finances, final decisions, and even her body to her husband because he is commanded to love her as Christ loved the Church, even so much as to be willing to lay down his life for her. If he's not doing that - - then he's the one who will suffer for it, and she (the wife) is free of any judgment from God if she has been submissive and willing to follow, pray for, and support her husband in his journey to be more Christ-like.

This belief is not my opinion. This is not even an option for wives, it is a command. It is a qualified and quantified directive from God; it is not up for debate and even though my friends think I'm a nut case for saying so, I will (if I am ever married) follow this command if called upon to do so. I don't have any plans to get married (hell, I don't have plans to date) so it may never happen, but if it did you can bet your last hard-earned dollar that I will ONLY marry a man who is so grounded in Christ that I will never have to worry or question if he has my very best interest at heart. NOPE...it is probably never going to happen, but if it does, if God decides to make me a wife He will certainly have to provide the one and only best husband out there because I could not make this promise to two people, ONLY ONE.

Why is it so important that we do what we're told to do?  There is a plan, and the plan is simple. Do what God commands and all things will work together for good. Seek the Kingdom, all else falls into place. Delight in God, commit to Him and His ways, and He will provide. I can't make that any more clear. You, wives, do as you're told, and you, husbands,  do as you're told, and guess what I can all but guarantee you that the divorce rates will plummet! Did that sound really old-fashioned, conservative, churchy, and even backwards to you? Well, my grandpa said it best when he told me that there are two ways to approach God's word; you can say yes or you can say no, but God's Word only has one way to approach you.  He's not wrong.  Do as you are told! 

Be blessed. 

HITT Me Baby!

Yeah OK, so the YMCA is literally across the street from where I live so I go there at least 3x a week. I was going more often when I first began losing weight because I thought I had to show up for over an hour and do cardio, lift weights, maybe get in a spin class or do barre work, but to be honest with you it turns out I'm not supposed to work my body that way.  Turns out I need H.I.T.T. or High Intensity Tactical Training instead. H.I.T.T. isn't for everyone and for many years it wasn't for me. I had to work myself up to it and get most of the blob off of me before I could even begin to dream of pumping my heart super strong and continuously for 15-20 minutes.  H.I.T.T. is NOT the same as High Intense Interval Training. There is a difference. The military uses H.I.T.T. My personal trainer has bragged about his experiences using H.I.T.T. for all those same years, and because the 3rd word in H.I.T.T. is TACTICAL I'm reminded that my military Drill Sergeant of a son may actually know what he's talking about (Spoiler: he does know what he's talking about). 

Here's a little blub from the internet to show you a bit about H.I.T.T. and how it helps people whose bodies are shaped like mine. I have an endomorph body shape, rounder in the center with long dangling limbs. Some people call it the "apple" shape. I think apple sounds more pleasant than endomorph, but either way I'm thick in the middle and can't seem to get that area to cooperate most of the time. This is where H.I.T.T. may help -- and little trick called "Metabolic Confusion", I'll explain that in a minute, first the blub from www.healthandstyle.com  

"High-impact exercise (e.g., running) requires greater levels of fitness and strength to lift yourself off the ground, withstand the bigger impact and avoid injury. The more you weigh or the more out of shape you are, the tougher it gets. That means it’s harder to exercise long enough (i.e., more than 20 minutes) to burn a significant number of calories and that your risk of injury is greater. 

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t run, jump-rope or do any other high-impact workout. But just that if you’re a beginner, you need to ease into it. Remember. Do what you love!" 

Since I dance as much as I do, I try to add at least two dance sessions into the mix each week, working on the legs doing squats or lowering type movements and I keep up the cardio end of it for at least 10-15 minutes before resting or taking in a slower song to sway to. There will be swaying, bending, pretend-ballet, and even a little jazz-step! For me, H.I.T.T. means I don't have to spend hours on the treadmill I can do what I want to do, which is lift and dance. I go to the YMCA, pack in a few reps on both arm machines and leg machines before hanging on the rings and doing 20-30 rapid squats using said rings to pull me back up - - something I saw a pole-dancer doing to prepare her core.  If she thinks it will work, I'm going to trust her. Have you seen those ladies? I'm going to trust her! 

Baby Boy (son Reuben) is all about my lifting. He's standing over me usually counting my reps and threatening to add weight, but at this point I really want to lose every pound before adding too much muscle; maybe just enough to chase the fat away as I know muscle burns more energy than fat and causes the fat burning hormones to do their job. I feel really exhausted after I lift but hot showers help and the protein shake with collagen peptides and mango seem to be helping too!  I'm thinking of letting Baby Boy slip on another 20 pounds this week. We'll see. 

I mentioned Metabolic Confusion, and I don't know if that's a coined phrase or not, so I won't give full credit to where I first heard it, but there is another professional trainer out there, this one in California, who quit his day job training celebrities to work solely with overweight women over 50 who need to lose weight both in the center of their bodies and in their limbs. He swears by the Metabolic Confusion method so we'll see if he's right or wrong. I'm only on day 10 so far and I'm not seeing the results I would like to see, but then again endomorphs are the one body shaped type people who really don't see the results as quickly due to the fact that our bodies adapt quickly to whatever it is that is happening to it. 

Metabolic Confusion is exactly what it sounds like; you have to "trick" your body into thinking it is working overtime on whatever state of metabolic cycle it is working on. If you eat 1500 calories a day and work out 30 minutes a day your body gets used to it. If you eat 2500 calories a day and work out 30 minutes a day your body gets used to it. If you alternate those two calorie intakes and change up your exercise program on a daily basis your body has to rethink and readjust and that times time. While your body is taking time to adjust and readjust, you're still switching things up and your body's system goes into a "confusion" and works harder to adjust to its correct setting. That's a paraphrase.... don't think I am a doctor or nutritionist, I am not. I'm a lady over 50 trying to lose weight in the center of my body. My legs and arms are fine. If only the entire body would mimic my arms and legs, I'd be one happy camper (and I don't really camp).  

Endomorphs hit plateau more often and stay longer in their plateaus than other body shapes. It's just a fact of life. Men and women both suffer from weight problems as endomorphs; there are literally just as many men as there are women with this particular body shape. Look around you'll spot us pretty easily! If you're one of us - - maybe you'll find a bit of solace in what I'm saying. Hopefully, you too can feel better about making changes in your life that make you feel and look better.  I'm not saying it's a miracle - - but working out and moving your body can help your spirit, your mind, your emotional state, and of course your body!  "A body in motion stays in motion" - - at least that's what they tell me.  H.I.T.T. me baby! 

My son Reuben is on the right (below)

The Hardest Thing to Do is Nothing

For me, and I don't know if that means for you or not because I can't live your life; one of the hardest things to do is to do nothing at all.  I am an active mover, a doer, and I make things happen. I don't stand still. I don't sit. I don't wait well either, and I really never like to admit it, but I don't ponder - - I act.   God has been dealing with me in this capacity; He has been teaching me that patience is truly a virtue. I know He's right. My soul understands that He is absolutely right and that I am supposed to do exactly what He said to do -- exactly, but it is SOOOOOO hard for me to just sit and watch, wait and pray. It just seems like my time could be spent DOING something.... but I am, I am obeying.  This is not easy for me.  

Do you believe in God? I do. I not only believe in His existence but also in His omnipresence I know that He is in me, on me, around me, under me, above me, through me, and always watching over me because He and I both know I'm going to put my foot in it. I'm going to screw up, I'm going to fail, and without His perfected will I would be back on the ground again, face-first, and in this case, I would be both embarrassed and unable to show said face in public again. I have been given an assignment. I have been tasked. I have been told what to do and the thing is, it is the hardest most agonizing thing ever because I am to do NOTHING. I am to pray and watch. I am to pray and pray again. I am to pray and put my faith in God's plan, but I am not to do anything.  This is tantamount to taking my pen away from me and expecting me to record my feelings! I can keep them, but I can't put them to ink. I can know them, but I can't share them. I can have them, but I cannot give them. When I asked God why He was doing this to me the answer was rather blunt - - it was basically "Because I said so, do as you're told."  (Funny how we like to dish it out to our own kids, but when we're told to do the same thing, we squirm a little.) 

What is my assignment? Well, it's rather a who. There is a man I am supposed to pray for. I am supposed to love him (and love him without question) but not DO anything about it. My mission, my assignment, is to love. I am to ask God for his wisdom, I am to ask God to protect him. I am asking God to guide him, lead him, show him, help him, but I personally am not to do anything toward assisting him as it would not be appropriate or accepted. I am simply to be there where I can't be seen, heard, known, or even thought of, and I am just to pray that God's will be done in this one man's life.  WHY?  Why is this the case? Why this man? Why not someone I can actually help? The answer again was fast and simple -- to prove to me that God is the one who will take care of it; both myself and this man apparently, need to know that GOD and GOD alone is the one who will straighten everything, work out every detail, and at the right time it will be revealed to this man who has been supporting him through love without question, and with prayer and supplication. It's a great plan really -- but I hate it. 

For the better part of a year now, actually just over a year, I've begged God to let me stop thinking of this man. I've begged God to take away any and all feelings as they don't seem right to me even, and if they don't seem right to me, and I'm the one having them, wouldn't you think they need to be ended? God won't let it go -- I'm not supposed to act on my love, but have it. I'm not supposed to fix anything, just pray. I'm not supposed to make my heart's path known - - but to make it strong. I am simply to love him and simply to pray for him.  It wouldn’t matter if the man himself told me to stop – I'd love to stop, thank you, but I was not given that option, and the man has zero authority to ask me to stop! It is what it is, I’m not going to question God after I’ve already questioned Him a 1000 times and gotten the same answer! 

 

Someone once said "Thank the overthinker for loving you because surely they've thought of every rational reason not to."  This is true. I didn't ask for this. I didn't look for it. I wasn't trying to do it - - it was commanded. Odd as that may seem, it was flat out told to me that I would in fact love and that I didn't have an option. Love doesn't fail. I am not to fail. I can't fail, and I won't.  Damn. 

 

One day God will bring it all full circle and at that moment I can say "OK see, I wrote that in my journal a year ago" or I can say "Yeah, I know, I remember when you went through that, I wrote it out in my journal and prayed about it."  God will provide. He always does. I just have to do what I'm told - - and get over myself.  Some people are sent to Africa to preach, some are sent to government, to the streets to bear witness; and some are told to go into their closets and pray for one single person - - until God says to stop. What do you want to bet God never asks me to stop? Love never stops. Love never ends. I was asked to love not pretend. I will do as I am told and really, it's OK; God has never failed me either. In this assignment I've already learned to be compassionate towards others with addiction, depression, and anxiety.  I've also learned to lean on God and let Him know I can be leaned on as well. I've been there. I'm pretty sure someone prayed me through it -- with love. 

This is where you say "Here am I, Lord" and you just do what you are commanded to do. It's so much easier when you surrender to God; His will is going to be done one way or the other. I'd rather be a part of it than fight it and find myself inside the belly of a fish or outside the promised land. Here we go...prayer time. 

That's Preposterous!

 So, I'm laying in bed just reminding myself that I'm supposed to be sleeping, when from out of the murk of my brain God reveals a thought that I've had before, but in a different way altogether.  I often think of things that seem out of this world, and of course with God, everything (literally everything)is out of this particular world, so it's no surprise that what I'm about to disclose will be a bit preposterous too! C'mon, it'll be fun...let's think outside every tiny box our minds insist on keeping us pinned inside of. 

What's the most preposterous story you can think of in the Bible? What details about that particular story drew you to think of THAT story? What about it bugs you to the point that somewhere inside your mind you think it couldn't possibly be true, but God said it was, so you just accept it by faith? For me it may be Noah's insight to build the Ark.  It could NOT have been an easy task. The man was literally living at a time when every thought of man was wicked and in fact, men were trying to come up with new ways to be wicked so that they could out-wicked the next guy!  Here's Noah, a good man, a man God loved and wasn't upset with; he was just trying to make a living and it probably wasn't in the boat-building business, I can almost guarantee you that much.  God told Noah to build the BIGGEST boat ever seen on the face of the Earth because as He put it, it was going to rain (and since it had never actually rained before there must have been a few moments in there where Noah shook his head and maybe even argued a bit with God over the need to put all of his money, time, effort, energy, and future into this boat building especially since where he lived wasn't necessarily near the sea!)  Noah built the Ark.  Noah preached for 125 years while he built the Ark, but NO ONE, not ONE single person came to be saved....NO ONE.  But there he was, building the Ark with his sons and thinking "OK, God said to do it, so yeah, I'm going to do it."

Jonah really didn't have that big of an assignment, not if you compare it to Noah's message from God. God told Jonah to preach to a group of unfit, unworthy, dangerous, often murderous people, but he didn't have to spend 125 years preaching - - he was just commanded to do it ONCE!  The thought of doing this seemed outrageous to Jonah and it seemed outrageous enough that the man believed he could hide from God! Who thinks that? Where on this planet or another planet for that matter, will anyone actually HIDE from God? No! It's not going to happen. Here you go Jonah, go ahead and try to hide, run, see where that gets you -- OH OK, it got you inside the belly of a fish THAT by the way wasn't even in the waters where fish that size typically hung out in the first place! GOD sent the fish at that moment. WHAT MOMENT? The moment Jonah was cast into the sea - - thinking he was dead, God said "NO, you're not getting out of it that easily, first you're gonna sink a bit, stay in the dark for a while, eat left over squid and maybe a little swollen seaweed, then you're going to PREACH TO THE PEOPLE I TOLD YOU TO PREACH TO because I am God, and I don't change. My word doesn't change, my plan doesn't change, you're not going to cause anything about my plan to change, so when you realize that maybe you'll just say YES and we can both get on with MY PLAN!"  Of course, I'm paraphrasing -- and taking great liberties at the same time.  Bottom line: Jonah preached to the people of Ninevah.

What may seem preposterous to you is NOT preposterous to God. His plan is His plan, and He made this plan a long time before He showed you what it was, or how you fit into it. You will not change His plan, you will ONLY be blessed if you follow it -- so hey, here's a thought: DO WHAT YOU ARE TOLD TO DO...He will take care of literally every single tiny detail that you may or may not have imagined. He will clear every path. He will deliver you. He will make it happen. He, not you, will bring it to pass exactly as He intended. It's never been any other way. Think of any story in the Bible where you thought to yourself, "That makes no sense", and then keep reading - - it will eventually make sense. If God decides to use some random bush to set on fire and speak through it -- LISTEN. If God decides to send hundreds of animals to your doorstep to accompany you on the cruise of a lifetime - - feed them. If you find yourself needing to simply speak to someone about something you never thought you didn't have enough knowledge about but God wants you to say it -- open your mouth. He will give you the words.

We will all benefit from the plan God has for each of us. We will all be blessed if we just do what He asks of us - - so why does He have to force it on most of us? What makes us think we know more than God does when we're called upon to do something? Do we think just because we have limits that He has limits? Do we think that since we have lack of experience that He has a lack? Do we think that we are somehow unqualified to do what He's asked us to do? We may very well be, but I know one thing for sure, if He is truly asking He has already made arrangements for the training, the schooling, the learning, and the capacity to perform whatever it is He wants you, me, us to do -- JUST SAY YES! That saying "There are plenty of other fish in the sea" could very well mean that you'll end up inside of one if you argue too much! It's happened before, it can happen again (and if I am part of the plan that God has for you, and you end up in that fish, forcing me to try and pry open the fish's mouth just to pull you out so you can breathe and repent - - I'm going to be really pissed at you for making me swim in deep waters when I didn't really need to.) God is God. He does not change, He will not change and this is a really really good thing. DO what you are told to do. EVEN if it is the most preposterous thing you can imagine -- because the rapture of the Church is even more preposterous when you think about it!

So VERY Thankful

 Happy Thanksgiving to all of my friends, my family, to those I know and to those I do not know.  On this day of remembrance I am reminded first why we have this holiday celebration, and what it means to be both an American, and a Christian American.  This holiday was not and is not a pagan holiday. There are those who claim that because the natives that celebrated with the pilgrims were in fact pagan by definition (they worshipped earthly and heavenly things rather than God), we know that the pilgrims had gained the trust of these wonderful people to the point of sharing food, breaking bread, learning from one another, and there are many accounts of Christian fellowship between the two peoples after many natives accepted Christ as their Lord.  This day is a day to celebrate so many things, not just the first day of sitting together as a "family" between friends and neighbors.

In 2020 we have an issue in our country whereas the entire nation seems divided as to how we should celebrate this monumental (often forgotten) holiday.  Governors in some states have mandated that no one should travel for a gathering, others have stated that up to six people can gather, and still others have made no restrictions or regulations whatsoever. As President Trump tweeted today "Happy Thanksgiving to EVERYONE, even the haters and the losers."  I couldn't agree more.  We should all engage in love, thanksgiving, forgiveness, thankfulness, and an open awareness that without God, without Christ, there would be no food to share, no place to share it, no world in which to love and congregate as family, friends or neighbors. We would be lost. Christ, as He always is, is the centerpiece of our Thanksgiving dinner today!

My family and I are agreeing to the mandate of under 6 people, and we're not even traveling. We thought we were going to my daughter's in Tulsa, but as it turns out she'll have too many people to fit around her big table, so we decided to stay home and invite a couple of our friends who we knew were going to be alone today. They'll meet for the first time today, and that's a good thing. We aren't haven't turkey, which is different, but we are having basil garlic chicken strips, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes with molasses and marshmallows, mashed potatoes and gravy, pumpkin pie, and pumpkin bread. It should be great...smells good. Oh, and rolls, I have to make sure I add rolls, you can't have a proper Thanksgiving dinner without them. 

Traditionally the dinner is served around 4:00 p.m. or so to give people time to play football, hang out, talk, etc., but in my family it was always served at noon to give families time to get to their 2nd family dinner if need be. We have a small gathering today, so it will be noon, and then a long 2-3 mile walk to get rid of some of those THANKFULLY wonderful calories.  God provided an amazing 62 degree day with little breeze, and plenty of sunshine!  He really is the best, and I won't ever change my mind about that.

BLESSINGS!!

Complex and Content

IF YOU INSIST on following me on any social media outlet. Please understand that I'm not going to take a lot of time explaining why it is that I CHOOSE not to date anyone. I choose not to date. It is my choice. I make these types of choices and I alone will change my own mind if and when I choose to. YOU will most likely NOT be the one to change my mind. I also choose whom that will be.  I made this decision on March 31, 1999, and I really don't foresee myself deciding to do something about it. I may, but it would take an act of God. An act of GOD, not man. God.  I am a very complex creature, 100% content with who I am, and just waiting on the rapture. Just waiting for my turn to fly away.  Waiting. Patiently (not so patiently) waiting. 

The Gifts God Gave Us.

 You know, having the courts literally order me to take a personality test in 1997 wasn't really a bad thing. It was actually the first time I realized, in an official capacity, that I had been gifted by God with the spiritual gift of Discernment. I think the courts called it "logic based intuition".  The Apostle Paul speaks about the gifts of the Spirit in 1 Corinthians 12:10 when he said:  "He gives one person the power to perform miracles, and another the ability to prophesy. He gives someone else the ability to discern whether a message is from the Spirit of God or from another spirit."  Well, it's not JUST being able to tell the difference between whether or not a message is being given by the Holy Spirit or an evil being, it is also being able to read body language, eye movement, handwriting, and other sure signs of a very physical nature to determine if someone is lying, telling the truth, needs a hug, is keeping a secret, and/or just unsettled. Teachers do this sort of discerning all the time - - it's innate. We (teachers) hone in our our students and their movements so we can better help them in their journey. At least, I'll say this, the good teachers do this.

God gives gifts to everyone but not everyone pays attention to what they have, and not everyone has been given the same gifts (obviously). One gift God did NOT give me was the gift of being subtle or tactful; it's just not really there, nor do I think I can really fake it til I make it on that one. I am who I am, I am a bit forward at times, always direct, and most of the time I'm blunt. At least no one has to wonder if I'm mad or upset with them because they will know immediately. I can hold it together in terms of exploding expression, but I will be vocal and they will have their ears filled with what usually equates to a Southern woman's fast-talking rant with about 10 football analogies to explain exactly how it is that I'm about to take control of the entire situation and cram that last biscuit down someone's throat using a hot cattle prod if I have to. There are times when I'm less animated, but those times are few and far between when my feathers get in a twist. 

DISCERNMENT can take the shape of being able to tell you what your weird nonsense dream was about; it can look a hell of a lot like me asking you incredibly personal questions out of the blue without any warning and that's because discernment hits me as hard as my questions may hit you! I don't get a warning when something is revealed to me. I don't have a bell or whistle go off alerting me to be on the look out for signs and clues - - NOPE, it just is what it is, and I see it, I know it, I feel it, I'm made aware of it, and I discern it. I'm rarely ever wrong, and I should probably try to find a way to hold my heart and tongue back a minute to go over what it is that I just realized. It could mean the difference between me making sense and me seeming to be less invasive; most of time it really seems that I'm just being invasive. I can accept this because I would also give a side-eye to someone I don't know asking me personal questions based on a 5 second video they saw on Instagram or Facebook. (Based on a true story folks, that just happened today, and I realized I needed to explain myself.)  It's hard to explain how it is that you KNOW something about someone - - it really really is difficult to know myself. I just have to trust that God is leading me in the direction I tend to go when I realize someone may need help.  I make myself available when He asks me to do it. I don't make the decision on my own, not usually. I tend to wait on His instruction. It just works out better for me when I do. It's that whole "lean not unto your own understanding" thing.

I don't play guitar. I can't play guitar. I've picked them up, messed around with them, and even begged my fingers to pay attention to my brain, but I don't play guitar. I can't draw to save my life, and the only reason I got out of pottery class is because I had my 8 year daughter throw all of my required 6-10" pots for me.  She has talents. I have Discernment. I knew what she was going to do before she did it, at least there's that! I really was a pretty good parent when it came to LOGICALLY being INTUITIVE about my kids and their behavior.  We all have talents, we all have gifts, we all have hidden things inside of us pushing us to be better and to do more for others. We just need to be able and ready to listen to both ourselves and others when they are actually reaching out to help - - if they are really trying to reach out and help that is. We do need to use wisdom and be careful not to trust just anyone who claims to be able to read your body language and know you may be unsettled at the moment. Judgement is a good gift to have as well. 

There, that's it. That's all I wanted to say. I'm off the soapbox and going back to the den to beat the crap out of my punching bag. I'm getting so much better at it - - I can almost say I know what I'm doing. Exercising is a chore, but one I look forward to with, well, with discernment! I know it is a good thing and I intend to make it a balanced part of my life. God bless!