Michael Offutt's Blog, page 153

Dragons: Riders of Berk

Did you watch the one-hour premiere last night of Dragons: Riders of Berk on the Cartoon Network? If not, here's the teaser for it (from io9).

This weekly animated series follows the continuing adventures of Hiccup and his dragon Toothless on the island of Berk, along with the band of dragon trainers, all of whom now have dragons of their own! Through their training, the kids are finding out the cool things dragons can do. Not only will they learn more about their dragons, they'll also discover new ones and battle against enemies as they explore worlds they never dreamed existed. In addition, the talented cast from the feature film - Jay Baruchel (Hiccup), America Ferrera (Astrid), Christopher Mitz-Plasse (Fishlegs) and T.J. Miller (Tuffnut) - will lend their voices to the series.

Cartoon Network is doing what Fox did with "Touch." That is, they are airing just this one episode, letting it percolate with the viewers for a while, and then launching into more episodes of the series this Fall.
So what did I think? Well how could you go wrong with an episode title like, "How to start your own Dragon Academy?" LOL All the voices are back. Astrid, Hiccup and crew start off with a flying competition and of course, Hiccup and Toothless steal the show. And dragons are still being dragons. Which in this show means they are "adorable" yet "destructive".
But you can't have a story without conflict. One concerned villager shows up with a fat sheep under one arm and complains about the dragons. Hiccup tells his dad, "I'm the best man to take care of the dragons." His dad responds, "You're not a man yet." And that kind of sets things up as a coming of age story. It's time for Hiccup to grow up and become the man he's supposed to be. And he's going to start by helping humans to coincide peacefully with the dragons. Behold the face of the ORIGINAL dragon trainer!At first it doesn't work so well, and all the teenagers are in danger of losing their beloved dragons. But one annoying villager lets drop the precious knowledge that a tiger never changes its stripes, and a dragon will never go against its nature. So Hiccup comes up with a plan to use the dragon's nature to aid the village, by terrifying fish into the fishing nets, by scaring wild boars out of the forest and into the slaughter houses of the villagers, and by raining dragon poop onto fields to fertilize them.
Overall, I really enjoyed the episode. The animation wasn't quite as good as in the movie but *almost there. I can't wait to catch more episodes later this year.

Hollywood may be screwing up Neuromancer

The first time I read the opening line of Neuromancer, I was hooked.

"The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel." That line is all we need to know about the atmosphere of the novel that would come to spawn an entire genre on its own: Cyberpunk. With just a few years we had RPG's called "Shadow Run" and "Vampire: the Masquerade" seeking to copy some or all of the flavor you would get in just one reading of Neuromancer.

Well, at long last, it seems that Hollywood is getting closer to making a Neuromancer movie. I first read Neuromancer in 1990. By then it was known everywhere as the breakout novel from a new voice that seized the most prestigious awards in science fiction, The Phillip K. Dick Award, The Hugo, and The Nebula. Yowsa.
Concept art for Case done by Amro Attia. Click to make bigger.I had never read anything like it. With Chiba city, a modern reinterpretation of the Yakuza, and street samurai, Gibson created an unforgettable atmosphere. But I just looked at the concept art done by artist Amro Attia for the movie that got posted on io9, and it's underwhelming. It looks like the generic stuff that has appeared in every cyberpunk RPG for twenty years. It had nothing new to it. Mr. Attia if you are reading my words (very unlikely), I'm not trying to insult your work as you draw very well. But seriously, these pics could have been cut and pasted from a Shadowrun fansite. Neuromancer DESERVES more.
Tattoo concept art by Amro Attia. Yakuza are all about tattoos.Additionally, I'm not particularly excited about the cast. Mark Wahlberg has been offered the part of Case, and I really don't like Mark Wahlberg. There's no role he has ever been in that has made me want to see one of his movies.

I hope that when this movie gets made, it isn't awful like the Total Recall remake I saw this weekend. Oh how I wish I could get THAT 90 minutes of my life back.

Anyway, Hollywood may be screwing up Neuromancer and that doesn't make me happy.

Science fiction can predict the future

Prior to his death, Carl Sagan claimed that science and science-fiction kind of do this dance with one another. Jules Verne invented an atomic submarine way before one existed. Michael Crichton took genetic engineering and gave us dinosaurs. William Gibson saw what was happening in the eighties and coined a term, "cyberspace". You may have heard of it.

Anyway, I got sent this tweet yesterday by my good blogging friend Callie Leuck:

@nasw blurb: "substances in the blood of the young may be able to rejuvenate aging bodies." - @MichaelOffutt you knew?! http://tiny.cc/16xkiw 

I have to admit, I thought "this is cool." One of the things I write about in my book is "liquid life", a drug taken from the young to essentially rejuvenate the bodies of the old. It's so valuable, it drives the economy of Avalon (the mirror world of Earth). Basically, currency has a "value" in that world because it can theoretically be exchanged for liquid life (much the same as the currency in the U.S.A. used to be based upon a gold standard).
Just to be clear, I'm not saying I'm a science-fiction writer with the same talent as any of the aforementioned names. But it does validate me in one way: to know that I predicted something I didn't know about and that it's the newest thing being studied by scientists at Stanford.
So in a way, science fiction can predict the future. Who knew, right?
I think that's the "hallmark" of someone that writes science-fiction, and I'm happy to be a part of the dance which Sagan talked about, even if my part is minuscule and unknown.
Have a great Monday :) Thanks Callie for the tweet!

The funniest made up words ever

My friend Tomeka sent me this list by email. So, I'm sharing it with you.


The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.


I challenge you to make up a word and post it in the comments!


Have a great weekend :)

If we are getting three Hobbit movies, I want to see this

I'm sure you guys already know that Peter Jackson has announced that "The Hobbit" is going to become a trilogy. In the articles I've read, people have pointed out that Jackson apparently has found source material that he wants to inject into the story to justify the third movie.

Sitting here and thinking about it, I'm wondering if he is going to pull from the Silmarillion. As a disclaimer, I didn't look any of this stuff up to verify it. I'm pulling from memory here, and it's been a few years. Here's what I want to see:

1) The origin of the Balrog that we saw in The Fellowship of the Ring explained. This little story is in the Silmarillion. Morgoth (who was Sauron's master) made a deal with this huge demon that took the shape of a spider named Ungoliante (quite a character). Together, and hidden by Ungoliante's webs which spun darkness and essentially made them "invisible" these two smote two magical trees that basically brought warmth to the world (they grew in a sacred vale in Valinor). Morgoth decided to betray Ungoliante who was busy drinking up the sap. But the thing is, Ungoliante had grown huge from sucking up all the magical tree stuff that flowed from the trunks. Morgoth summoned nine Balrogs and there was this huge battle. Ungoliante killed them all and chased the last Balrog to Middle Earth where it hid from the spider under the Misty Mountains. Ungoliante never found "Durin's Bane" and continued south, pooping out all the spiders that call Mirkwood home and finally gave birth to Shelob before disappearing.  This would make a great story.
Ungoliante lapping up the sap from the dying trees.2) The origin of Smaug by showing Glaurung, the most magical and powerful dragon. He was bred by Morgoth (the baddie in point number 1) and was the first dragon to appear outside of the fortress of Angband. It would also explain why dragons like treasure and show us a really cool battle scene.

3) The origin of Grond (the huge battering ram that the forces of Sauron used on Minas Tirith in The Return of the King). Remember in the third movie the people just kept chanting "Grond Grond Grond"?  Well Grond was Morgoth's hammer that he used when he fought the High King of the Noldor. Morgoth was a giant guy and he strode up from this underground "icky" place called Utumno hefting this huge thing and faced off against his challenger. The poor High King of the Noldor was slain in that battle. But it too would make a great story.
Morgoth and the High King of the Noldor. Brave king dies.
Art by Ted Nasmith.Anyway, these three highlights from the Silmarillion would absolutely add to the telling of the Hobbit and add to the "Lord of the Rings" in incalculable ways. It would feel complete as a series to me, giving a robust flavor to the film adaptation of Tolkien.

Are there scenes that you envision which could add to "The Hobbit"? How do you feel about a third movie?

IWSG and the bigoted one star review

August 1st just happens to fall on a Wednesday this month. So, here's my "Insecure Writer's Support Group" post which is from the desk of Alex J. Cavanaugh. You can find his blog HERE .
Late in the month of April, I got hit with a one-star review for my book on the Apple iTunes/iBooks application/website. Since that time, I've been hit with three others, but they didn't offend me. This particular one did. And I stewed about it for weeks. I wrote Apple an angry email, and they did take it down because they agreed with me that it crossed the line into bigotry.
Why am I printing it here? Maybe it's cathartic. In the least, I have no doubt that they support Chick-Fil-A.

This book had so much potential and a fabulous storyline that could easily make it a 5-star read.

But the author chose to corrupt this work with abominable lifestyle for his main character. I'm not against the homosexual...but I abhor their lifestyle. Had I a clue the book would pursue and entwine this theme within the plot, I surely would not have bought it.

That said, it's a crying shame because this could have been a winner at the bookstores. There are some really good ideas in this work that make you think. (That's something that people don't do much of today).

What really "queered" it for me at the end was when the author injected some of his warped ideas of his own biblical theory that are so ridiculous and without ANY resemblance to actual scripture that it borders on blasphemy. Stick with the science and the fiction, but leave the holy scriptures to folks that read, believe, and practice them (We need a lot more practice too! Many of us have a lot to learn as well.)

Don't let this deter you for writing something else that can be exceptional. I see the talent there. Don't squander it with these distractions.

But if you don't, I'll gladly pass on your next installment, Mr. author.

The attitude in this review is the kind of attitude that I face all too often. And it makes me an aggressive atheist instead of a passive one. It turns me into an angry person. I feel like I've been bullied yet again by someone that thinks that the way THEY live is the RIGHT way to live. This review was judgmental, condescending, and outright rude.

But it also had another effect. After my anger faded I felt insecure, the same way that I felt in high school and in college.
If I learned anything, it's an affirmation that I shouldn't care what other people think of me. And in the end, getting a one-star review is a validation of a different kind (even if it comes from a natural born bigot). It means that I'm a real author who is taken seriously by someone who I have never met, even if I do think they're an asshole.

How will you handle your one-star review?

Asking Editor Cherie Reich Seven Questions

I would like you to welcome super editor Cherie Reich to my blog today. Cherie is a professional editor, an accomplished author, a book blogger, and a super intelligent person. She also practices clear communication. She tells me exactly where her eyes begin to glaze over in my writing. I appreciate that so much, because "eye-glazing" is bad. In other words, "Just say NO to eye glaze."

Q: Do you have a process when editing a book? If so, how do you go about it?

A: My process when editing a book is fairly simple. I just start reading. Then, I begin marking anything I come across: spelling/grammatical problems, redundancy, repetition (I highlight repetition), awkward phrases, etc. I also add comments whether something doesn’t make sense or if it is incongruous with what a character did earlier. I have a very good memory, so I often go back and add plot comments throughout. Some of my initial thoughts change as I read and learn more. I’ll even do brief research to make certain of various problems throughout the manuscript.

Q: Do you think a writer seeking traditional publication should hire an editor before they send out their final draft?

A: The short answer is no, but writers need someone to look over their work. We’re too close to the writing, and we’ll miss things. First, writers should find critique partners, writers’ groups, beta readers, etc. There is a vast world of people who are knowledgeable and willing to help out. These are the connections and networking we writers talk so much about. Often a writer can use these free sources to help whip their manuscript in shape.

If a writer can’t find someone, though, then it might be time to search for an editor. Writers should want to put their best work forward.

Q: As an editor, do you have any pet peeves that you really hate?

A: Oh, my! Where do I start? First, a writer looking for an editor too early. If you want a developmental editor, then that’s different, but copyeditors shouldn’t see first drafts. I’ve turned down clients when I felt their manuscript needed too much work because I didn’t feel like they could perfect the manuscript for publication without more edits than just mine could give them.

I’ve gotten where I hate participial phrases (verb+ing + rest of phrase) because writers misuse them and abuse them. I still use them some myself, but I’ve cut it way down.

Adverbs. I don’t hate them as a whole. Some are needed, but you can tell when it is just lazy writing. I’m guilty of that too.

Lengthy descriptions. Some people love reading descriptions, but I often feel they slow down the pace of a book. Use them wisely.

I’m sure there are more, but an editor will come across something that bothers them if a writer when it is repetitive. And as a writer, I’m guilty of all the things that have become pet peeves of mine.

Q: Is it difficult for you to read a professional novel without consciously looking for errors?

A: It used to be when I first started editing for people. I would just cringe at things. My reading speed halted to a crawl, and I knew an awesome book when I forgot the editing “errors” (i.e. not how I would’ve edited it) and focused on the story. Nowadays, I still notice grammar/spelling errors, some repetition, etc., but I try to keep my editing mind away from my reading mind.

Q: This question is about your writing. Where did you get the idea for the "Gravity" books?
A: Defying Gravity started with Linia. In 2004 or so, my friend had roped me into a Star Trek role-playing game in Yahoo Groups. The group never got started, but I had this neat alien character who remained with me. Then, in 2009, Pill Hill Press put out a call for romantic suspense. It could be in any genre, so I’d wanted to write a space fantasy/science fiction story. Defying Gravity emerged from it. After the anthology being cancelled and trying Defying Gravity at a few other places, I decided to self-publish it. From there, the world developed, and I wrote Fighting Gravity and Pull of Gravity with my mix of Greek mythology, aliens, and a futuristic setting.

Q: As a writer who produces professional self-published books, do you enlist the assistance of an editor?

A: Sorta. Do I pay an editor? No. But one of my critique partners is an editor for a small press, so we exchange work. I also have two other critique partners who have been with me since 2009. I couldn’t imagine writing without their input.

Q: How do you stay sharp on all the grammar rules?

A: I read. A lot. I’m not a very fast reader, but I do read 50+ books a year, blog posts, etc. If I don’t know something, I look it up. I have an Ask the Editor feature on my blog, and people send me questions. Sometimes I know the answer right away, but I always do research to not only find out if I’m correct but to learn more. In high school, I took an advance grammar class (Grammar is like math, and I was good at math). One thing that helped me learn grammar so well was taking foreign languages: Spanish (5 years), French (2 years), German (1 year), Latin (2.5 years), and Ancient Greek (1.5 years). Nothing prepares you for grammar more than learning what nouns, verbs, etc. are in another language. I also write, and using the language helps.

Thanks Cherie for consenting to be interviewed!

Author Bio: Cherie Reich is a writer, freelance editor, book blogger, and library assistant. Her short stories have appeared in magazines and anthologies, and her novelettes are published as e-books. She is a member of the Virginia Writers Club and Valley Writers and placed third in Roanoke Valley's BIG READ writing contest. For more information, please visit her website (http://cheriereich.webs.com) and her blog (http://cheriereich.blogspot.com).

SBB Editing Services: http://sbbeditingservices.wordpress.com/

My deep thoughts about bullying revealed by The Newsroom

Olivia Munn as Sloan in "The Newsroom"At the time of the writing of this blog post, I have just finished the "Bully" episode of HBO's "The Newsroom". Just like all the other episodes, this one got me thinking. When the title credits started to roll, I wondered if they were going to talk about the rash of gay teen suicides. Or perhaps they were going to tackle the documentary called "Bully". But instead, they led with the Fukushima disaster in Japan. What on earth does Fukushima have to do with bullying? I'll tell you.
This book was great. You guys want a
review? I could write a funny-ass review
of this book. It had me ROFLMAO.
Sloan, played by Olivia Munn (author of Suck It, Wonder Woman! <== yes I own this book. Yes I think it's awesome), is put on the air to talk with a TEPCO representative about Fukushima. She had previously spoken to him by phone and learned "off the record" that the disaster was very serious. It was going to be raised to a level 7 which is the same level as Chernobyl. But "on the record" the Japanese company was only going as high as level 5 (Three Mile Island).

Because she was frustrated that she had this knowledge and believed that the public deserved the truth, she cornered Will McAvoy (lead anchorman played by Jeff Daniels) and solicited his advice. He told her that she needed to stick to her guns. She needed to go after the guy and make sure that he fessed up to this knowledge. Only then would she be a "true reporter."

So that's exactly what she did. She pursued it with such fervor that it nearly got her canned, cost the guy at TEPCO his job, and panicked an entire nation. But she reported the truth. The only thing is, she was a huge bully. And the whole point of the episode was to show that this is bad.

Workers at the Fukushima disaster last year.Now that I've had some time to digest Aaron Sorkin's clever writing, I have to agree with him. Just because we have truth as a wind beneath our wings does not give any of us the right to bully someone else with it. That goes with all subjects whether it be religion, politics, atheism, science, or any number of other topics.

I think bullying will never get eliminated from the human race. But to minimize the danger of it, we all have a responsibility to keep an open mind and to be accepting to change of any kind. In the least, these are my deep thoughts about bullying revealed by "The Newsroom."

Have a great Monday

The Incredible George Perez

When I was a teenager, I started collecting comic books. One time in Moscow, Idaho in the late eighties, I walked into this  place called Safari Pearl. The lady that owned the comic book shop started to talk to me about George Perez. Up until this time, I mistakenly thought that all comic books were essentially created equal. Boy was I wrong.

The Incredible George Perez.
I bow to your greatness good sir.There were actual artists behind these pulpy magazines. And what she pointed out about George Perez was absolutely correct. The guy was a modern day Michaelangelo, and he became my favorite comic book artist of all time. That has never changed even though there are many great comic book artists like Alex Ross and Todd McFarlane. I think George Perez brings a level of detail and dedication to any project that he does that is so good, it sets the bar for my enjoyment of a comic book.

So, with comic book movies being all the rage this summer (talked about on P.T. Dilloway's blog and many others), with "The Dark Knight Rises" destroying the box office that was left in tatters by "The Avengers" and with talk of Joseph Gordon Levitt possibly being cast as Nightwing for his own series (a classic Perez character), I wanted to tell you a little about the great George Perez because he's still alive. He's getting old, and I honestly don't know how much longer he'll be around. I have a goal to meet this guy and hopefully, my wish will come true someday at a comic book convention.

George Perez is a Puerto Rican-American born on June 9, 1954. Above and left, I've included a picture of him. He started illustrating Marvel's The Avengers. The first time that I really noticed his artwork (but didn't pay attention to who he was) was when I started reading "Crisis on the Infinite Earths". If you don't know what this series was, it was a landmark DC series that destroyed all of the various Earths that DC had created in one huge storyline to kind of get a hold of their plotlines which had gone in so many directions that they could no longer keep track.

Here is one cover from the series. I want you to pay special attention to this because it is CLASSIC George Perez. He has detailed a gazillion characters in this cover and each one is carefully drawn down to their eyeballs. I also want you to note the team of Wolfman and Perez. That to me is the sign of "excellence". Whenever I saw those two on a comic book, I knew it was going to be incredible.

This is the cover Perez did to reboot Wonder Woman. Yes, he drew and detailed
all of those warriors on Paradise Island standing behind Wonder Woman.The very next time that I saw this combo was on the "Who is Wonder Girl" series on the reboot of the Teen Titans to the New Titans. So yeah, I bought into that. But Perez only stayed with it to reboot and then went to work on rebooting Wonder Woman so I followed him to that magazine. Wolfman and Perez owned Wonder Girl and Crisis on the Infinite Earths basically destroyed her origin because a crucial character that saves her as a child is no longer around to save her and DC just went for years after this event, never touching on the fact that Wonder Girl shouldn't be around. When Perez finally returned to the New Titans to redo Wonder Girl's origin, it was nothing less than spectacular.
The story of Wonder Girl's new origin was amazing. And the detail on each and every subsequent cover put out in this series just got better and better. That's Nightwing front and center carrying Wonder Girl. To the right is Starfire (a character that only Perez seems to be able to draw correctly because her costume is asymmetrical), and to the left is cyborg. Behind and rising above the others is Raven who returned in a white cloak after she went missing for many issues following the Trigon the Terrible plotline. Raven was my all-time favorite character in the DC universe. She basically had the powers of a demigod, and she takes on the ultimate bad guy in this series and it's one of the best combats I've ever seen drawn on paper.

Anyway, if you aren't convinced of George Perez's spectacular talent then I'm going to include some other pictures of his for your enjoyment. Again, I'd like you to just take a look at the level of detail that this guy goes to when he does his work. It blows me away every time. I'd love to have a couple of signed prints that I could frame just to hang in my house.
I think Perez has drawn every character in the DC universe here.
CLICK TO MAKE BIGGER The Avengers as drawn by Perez
CLICK TO MAKE BIGGER This is a poster of the Avengers that shows them in
 every single costume ever worn. It blows my mind at how
detailed George Perez gets with his artwork.
CLICK TO MAKE BIGGERSo what do you think of the great George Perez? If you didn't know about him, are you now a fan?

Have a great weekend.

Drugs for a better tomorrow

Have a great Thursday.
Images courtesy of Valerio Loi