Michael Offutt's Blog, page 153

Provex City by Michael Pierce

This book is an offering in the paranormal/contemporary MG/YA genre and is pretty good.

It's told in first person from the perspective of a boy named Oliver. There's plenty of angst, the boy is the focus of the attention from two girls, and I liked the experimentation with drugs like alcohol (this is what kids do, right?) In one scene Oliver gets plastered from Jell-O shots, and it reminded me of the first time I had Jell-O shots (mine, however, weren't made from Bacardi 151). I think he had a much funner time with it though as Oliver was with a girl at the time. That made the whole getting drunk thing that much racier and more interesting.

There is a ghost in the story, but it isn't a particularly scary ghost. And I never really thought a screwdriver would make an effective weapon, but you see it used in this story in some interesting ways.

The most incredible portion of the story involves Oliver's discovery of Provex City, a place he's able to travel to using what can only be described as a paranormal power. Provex City is a remarkable place populated by people as varied as the ones on Earth, but with more impressive technology (or magic), most notably being the ability to heal others.

Now that I've had a little more time to think about it (I finished it a few days ago), Provex City is the first book I have ever read that uses "Interludes". This is a chapter that explains things that are going on that the narrator would have no idea on his own. I don't think they were jarring, just different. And I think in this situation, were necessary.

I give this book a full five stars out of five and would recommend this read to anyone that is looking for a fast contemporary read told from the boy's perspective. Mr. Pierce is a great writer, and I can't wait to see another offering from him.

Go HERE to mark Provex City "To Read" and be supportive.
Go HERE to purchase the book directly from Amazon for only $2.99.
And visit his BLOG if you would like someone new to network with.
Have a great weekend!

Analyzing Breaking Bad's Fifty One

On Sunday night I was reminded of why I think "Breaking Bad" is the best show on television by a superbly written episode aptly titled "Fifty One". I've been thinking about it all week, and it's really one of those dramas where you have to notice everything. You can't take your eyes off the screen because, what's being discussed or what's being shown is always important. So if you're a fan, I'm analyzing "Breaking Bad's" Fifty One (spoilers ahead):
Notice how short the "1" is. Totally a wish on Skyler's part for Walt to just die.
Skyler hates Walt so much that it's both tragic and awesome at the same time
because she can't do anything about it. She sold her soul to the devil now
and there's no going back from that.1) First off we have this new character Lydia that Mike stopped short in killing. We know she works at Madrigal which was helping Gus' operation by supplying barrels of Methylamine. But who the hell is she really? Mike says she's dangerous and Jesse Pinkman stops him from killing her (which for the record I think is a big mistake). I think Lydia is Gus' wife, and I would trust Mike's instincts. If anything, the dude is a super lethal assassin. But he's loyal. And he knows character. Lydia should die.
Lydia and Jesse. In this scene, they're looking at a tracker on the bottom
of a barrel that Lydia claims the D.E.A. must have put there. Mike thinks
she put it there and wants to kill her for it. Mike kills lots of people in
this show.2) The arrangement of the bacon on Walt's birthday. I looked back to the season 1 pilot, and they did this ritual only with veggie bacon. Now one year later, Skyler arranges real "cholesterol clogging" bacon on Walt's plate to spell out 51. Only she cuts the "1" in half, symbolism that she really wants him to die this year. That's just frickin awesome. She does correct the "one" at Junior's insistence but takes a piece from his plate. This is the statement, "If you want your father to live through this year, it will take life away from you." Now the beginning episode of this season had Walt alone in a diner arranging bacon on his own plate to spell out "52." So we know he lives a full year, and we have the entire season to figure out what happens up to that point. How does he come to buy the huge gun and what does he intend to do with it?
Skyler sitting on the bottom of the pool, content in knowing that even
though she may run out of breath, it's better than listening to Walt
talk about himself.Walt is so evil now. And I do kind of feel for Skyler. However, she's just as culpable as he is, being seduced by greed and money and the power that came with that. Her fate and Walt's are irrevocably intertwined the same as Persephone and Hades. Walt is going to hell and Skyler is too. But that doesn't mean she has to like him. That becomes even more apparent in a crucial scene-stealing moment when Walt is going off at the table about how Skyler saved him from the cancer and did this and did that for him. She gets so sickened by it that she just "walks into the pool". She sits on the bottom with her dress floating up around her and is smiling cause she can no longer hear him. That's just amazing.

3) The ticking watch. Jesse gave it to Walt for his birthday present but the end of the episode has a zoom in on the watch and the ticking is very pronounced. I recall an earlier scene where Mike calls Walt "A ticking time bomb". Once again, great symbolism.
Here's Jesse presenting a watch to Walt for a gift. Tick Tick Tick4) Walt sells the mint green Pacer for fifty bucks. This car has been Walt's stable transportation for four years of this show. It's been through everything with him. The mechanic that fixes it compliments the car and says, "It will probably go another 200,000 miles." You can see the distaste on Walt's face as he savors this information. He immediately offers it to the mechanic for fifty bucks. THIS represents one dollar for every year of his life. I was blown away by the symbolism of that. A year ago, Walt lived in fear of his cancer.  He lived in fear of men like Tuco, Mike, and Gus, and in fear of losing his job because he wouldn't be able to pay his bills. He's a new man, having defeated ALL of his enemies. He's killed people, poisoned children, and outwitted anyone that thought they were smarter than him (including his D.E.A. brother-in-law, Hank). So Walt flushes the old life down the toilet, and embraces the new life by buying muscle cars for both himself and his only son "Junior".

There was so much to think about in this single episode. If you are a writer, I think that you would be well served to take one hour of your time each week and watch "Breaking Bad" and see how masters of storytelling can unfold a tale. It's absolutely brilliant.

So my questions for you (if you watch the show):
1) Do you think Lydia is Gus' wife?
2) Do you think that Jesse and Lydia might be working together or that they might have struck some kind of deal?
3) There's a part of the episode where Skyler is smoking cigarettes heavily. Do you think that the cigarette that Walt has with the poison in it will come into play this season and that he'll poison Skyler? I sure as hell wouldn't be smoking cigarettes around Walt.
4) What do you think Walt needed the gun for in the trunk of the season opener? I've been trying to figure that out for four episodes now.
5) Do you think Jesse should have just let Mike kill Lydia? Do you think she's dangerous?

Dragons: Riders of Berk

Did you watch the one-hour premiere last night of Dragons: Riders of Berk on the Cartoon Network? If not, here's the teaser for it (from io9).

This weekly animated series follows the continuing adventures of Hiccup and his dragon Toothless on the island of Berk, along with the band of dragon trainers, all of whom now have dragons of their own! Through their training, the kids are finding out the cool things dragons can do. Not only will they learn more about their dragons, they'll also discover new ones and battle against enemies as they explore worlds they never dreamed existed. In addition, the talented cast from the feature film - Jay Baruchel (Hiccup), America Ferrera (Astrid), Christopher Mitz-Plasse (Fishlegs) and T.J. Miller (Tuffnut) - will lend their voices to the series.

Cartoon Network is doing what Fox did with "Touch." That is, they are airing just this one episode, letting it percolate with the viewers for a while, and then launching into more episodes of the series this Fall.
So what did I think? Well how could you go wrong with an episode title like, "How to start your own Dragon Academy?" LOL All the voices are back. Astrid, Hiccup and crew start off with a flying competition and of course, Hiccup and Toothless steal the show. And dragons are still being dragons. Which in this show means they are "adorable" yet "destructive".
But you can't have a story without conflict. One concerned villager shows up with a fat sheep under one arm and complains about the dragons. Hiccup tells his dad, "I'm the best man to take care of the dragons." His dad responds, "You're not a man yet." And that kind of sets things up as a coming of age story. It's time for Hiccup to grow up and become the man he's supposed to be. And he's going to start by helping humans to coincide peacefully with the dragons. Behold the face of the ORIGINAL dragon trainer!At first it doesn't work so well, and all the teenagers are in danger of losing their beloved dragons. But one annoying villager lets drop the precious knowledge that a tiger never changes its stripes, and a dragon will never go against its nature. So Hiccup comes up with a plan to use the dragon's nature to aid the village, by terrifying fish into the fishing nets, by scaring wild boars out of the forest and into the slaughter houses of the villagers, and by raining dragon poop onto fields to fertilize them.
Overall, I really enjoyed the episode. The animation wasn't quite as good as in the movie but *almost there. I can't wait to catch more episodes later this year.

Hollywood may be screwing up Neuromancer

The first time I read the opening line of Neuromancer, I was hooked.

"The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel." That line is all we need to know about the atmosphere of the novel that would come to spawn an entire genre on its own: Cyberpunk. With just a few years we had RPG's called "Shadow Run" and "Vampire: the Masquerade" seeking to copy some or all of the flavor you would get in just one reading of Neuromancer.

Well, at long last, it seems that Hollywood is getting closer to making a Neuromancer movie. I first read Neuromancer in 1990. By then it was known everywhere as the breakout novel from a new voice that seized the most prestigious awards in science fiction, The Phillip K. Dick Award, The Hugo, and The Nebula. Yowsa.
Concept art for Case done by Amro Attia. Click to make bigger.I had never read anything like it. With Chiba city, a modern reinterpretation of the Yakuza, and street samurai, Gibson created an unforgettable atmosphere. But I just looked at the concept art done by artist Amro Attia for the movie that got posted on io9, and it's underwhelming. It looks like the generic stuff that has appeared in every cyberpunk RPG for twenty years. It had nothing new to it. Mr. Attia if you are reading my words (very unlikely), I'm not trying to insult your work as you draw very well. But seriously, these pics could have been cut and pasted from a Shadowrun fansite. Neuromancer DESERVES more.
Tattoo concept art by Amro Attia. Yakuza are all about tattoos.Additionally, I'm not particularly excited about the cast. Mark Wahlberg has been offered the part of Case, and I really don't like Mark Wahlberg. There's no role he has ever been in that has made me want to see one of his movies.

I hope that when this movie gets made, it isn't awful like the Total Recall remake I saw this weekend. Oh how I wish I could get THAT 90 minutes of my life back.

Anyway, Hollywood may be screwing up Neuromancer and that doesn't make me happy.

Science fiction can predict the future

Prior to his death, Carl Sagan claimed that science and science-fiction kind of do this dance with one another. Jules Verne invented an atomic submarine way before one existed. Michael Crichton took genetic engineering and gave us dinosaurs. William Gibson saw what was happening in the eighties and coined a term, "cyberspace". You may have heard of it.

Anyway, I got sent this tweet yesterday by my good blogging friend Callie Leuck:

@nasw blurb: "substances in the blood of the young may be able to rejuvenate aging bodies." - @MichaelOffutt you knew?! http://tiny.cc/16xkiw 

I have to admit, I thought "this is cool." One of the things I write about in my book is "liquid life", a drug taken from the young to essentially rejuvenate the bodies of the old. It's so valuable, it drives the economy of Avalon (the mirror world of Earth). Basically, currency has a "value" in that world because it can theoretically be exchanged for liquid life (much the same as the currency in the U.S.A. used to be based upon a gold standard).
Just to be clear, I'm not saying I'm a science-fiction writer with the same talent as any of the aforementioned names. But it does validate me in one way: to know that I predicted something I didn't know about and that it's the newest thing being studied by scientists at Stanford.
So in a way, science fiction can predict the future. Who knew, right?
I think that's the "hallmark" of someone that writes science-fiction, and I'm happy to be a part of the dance which Sagan talked about, even if my part is minuscule and unknown.
Have a great Monday :) Thanks Callie for the tweet!

The funniest made up words ever

My friend Tomeka sent me this list by email. So, I'm sharing it with you.


The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.


I challenge you to make up a word and post it in the comments!


Have a great weekend :)

If we are getting three Hobbit movies, I want to see this

I'm sure you guys already know that Peter Jackson has announced that "The Hobbit" is going to become a trilogy. In the articles I've read, people have pointed out that Jackson apparently has found source material that he wants to inject into the story to justify the third movie.

Sitting here and thinking about it, I'm wondering if he is going to pull from the Silmarillion. As a disclaimer, I didn't look any of this stuff up to verify it. I'm pulling from memory here, and it's been a few years. Here's what I want to see:

1) The origin of the Balrog that we saw in The Fellowship of the Ring explained. This little story is in the Silmarillion. Morgoth (who was Sauron's master) made a deal with this huge demon that took the shape of a spider named Ungoliante (quite a character). Together, and hidden by Ungoliante's webs which spun darkness and essentially made them "invisible" these two smote two magical trees that basically brought warmth to the world (they grew in a sacred vale in Valinor). Morgoth decided to betray Ungoliante who was busy drinking up the sap. But the thing is, Ungoliante had grown huge from sucking up all the magical tree stuff that flowed from the trunks. Morgoth summoned nine Balrogs and there was this huge battle. Ungoliante killed them all and chased the last Balrog to Middle Earth where it hid from the spider under the Misty Mountains. Ungoliante never found "Durin's Bane" and continued south, pooping out all the spiders that call Mirkwood home and finally gave birth to Shelob before disappearing.  This would make a great story.
Ungoliante lapping up the sap from the dying trees.2) The origin of Smaug by showing Glaurung, the most magical and powerful dragon. He was bred by Morgoth (the baddie in point number 1) and was the first dragon to appear outside of the fortress of Angband. It would also explain why dragons like treasure and show us a really cool battle scene.

3) The origin of Grond (the huge battering ram that the forces of Sauron used on Minas Tirith in The Return of the King). Remember in the third movie the people just kept chanting "Grond Grond Grond"?  Well Grond was Morgoth's hammer that he used when he fought the High King of the Noldor. Morgoth was a giant guy and he strode up from this underground "icky" place called Utumno hefting this huge thing and faced off against his challenger. The poor High King of the Noldor was slain in that battle. But it too would make a great story.
Morgoth and the High King of the Noldor. Brave king dies.
Art by Ted Nasmith.Anyway, these three highlights from the Silmarillion would absolutely add to the telling of the Hobbit and add to the "Lord of the Rings" in incalculable ways. It would feel complete as a series to me, giving a robust flavor to the film adaptation of Tolkien.

Are there scenes that you envision which could add to "The Hobbit"? How do you feel about a third movie?

IWSG and the bigoted one star review

August 1st just happens to fall on a Wednesday this month. So, here's my "Insecure Writer's Support Group" post which is from the desk of Alex J. Cavanaugh. You can find his blog HERE .
Late in the month of April, I got hit with a one-star review for my book on the Apple iTunes/iBooks application/website. Since that time, I've been hit with three others, but they didn't offend me. This particular one did. And I stewed about it for weeks. I wrote Apple an angry email, and they did take it down because they agreed with me that it crossed the line into bigotry.
Why am I printing it here? Maybe it's cathartic. In the least, I have no doubt that they support Chick-Fil-A.

This book had so much potential and a fabulous storyline that could easily make it a 5-star read.

But the author chose to corrupt this work with abominable lifestyle for his main character. I'm not against the homosexual...but I abhor their lifestyle. Had I a clue the book would pursue and entwine this theme within the plot, I surely would not have bought it.

That said, it's a crying shame because this could have been a winner at the bookstores. There are some really good ideas in this work that make you think. (That's something that people don't do much of today).

What really "queered" it for me at the end was when the author injected some of his warped ideas of his own biblical theory that are so ridiculous and without ANY resemblance to actual scripture that it borders on blasphemy. Stick with the science and the fiction, but leave the holy scriptures to folks that read, believe, and practice them (We need a lot more practice too! Many of us have a lot to learn as well.)

Don't let this deter you for writing something else that can be exceptional. I see the talent there. Don't squander it with these distractions.

But if you don't, I'll gladly pass on your next installment, Mr. author.

The attitude in this review is the kind of attitude that I face all too often. And it makes me an aggressive atheist instead of a passive one. It turns me into an angry person. I feel like I've been bullied yet again by someone that thinks that the way THEY live is the RIGHT way to live. This review was judgmental, condescending, and outright rude.

But it also had another effect. After my anger faded I felt insecure, the same way that I felt in high school and in college.
If I learned anything, it's an affirmation that I shouldn't care what other people think of me. And in the end, getting a one-star review is a validation of a different kind (even if it comes from a natural born bigot). It means that I'm a real author who is taken seriously by someone who I have never met, even if I do think they're an asshole.

How will you handle your one-star review?

Asking Editor Cherie Reich Seven Questions

I would like you to welcome super editor Cherie Reich to my blog today. Cherie is a professional editor, an accomplished author, a book blogger, and a super intelligent person. She also practices clear communication. She tells me exactly where her eyes begin to glaze over in my writing. I appreciate that so much, because "eye-glazing" is bad. In other words, "Just say NO to eye glaze."

Q: Do you have a process when editing a book? If so, how do you go about it?

A: My process when editing a book is fairly simple. I just start reading. Then, I begin marking anything I come across: spelling/grammatical problems, redundancy, repetition (I highlight repetition), awkward phrases, etc. I also add comments whether something doesn’t make sense or if it is incongruous with what a character did earlier. I have a very good memory, so I often go back and add plot comments throughout. Some of my initial thoughts change as I read and learn more. I’ll even do brief research to make certain of various problems throughout the manuscript.

Q: Do you think a writer seeking traditional publication should hire an editor before they send out their final draft?

A: The short answer is no, but writers need someone to look over their work. We’re too close to the writing, and we’ll miss things. First, writers should find critique partners, writers’ groups, beta readers, etc. There is a vast world of people who are knowledgeable and willing to help out. These are the connections and networking we writers talk so much about. Often a writer can use these free sources to help whip their manuscript in shape.

If a writer can’t find someone, though, then it might be time to search for an editor. Writers should want to put their best work forward.

Q: As an editor, do you have any pet peeves that you really hate?

A: Oh, my! Where do I start? First, a writer looking for an editor too early. If you want a developmental editor, then that’s different, but copyeditors shouldn’t see first drafts. I’ve turned down clients when I felt their manuscript needed too much work because I didn’t feel like they could perfect the manuscript for publication without more edits than just mine could give them.

I’ve gotten where I hate participial phrases (verb+ing + rest of phrase) because writers misuse them and abuse them. I still use them some myself, but I’ve cut it way down.

Adverbs. I don’t hate them as a whole. Some are needed, but you can tell when it is just lazy writing. I’m guilty of that too.

Lengthy descriptions. Some people love reading descriptions, but I often feel they slow down the pace of a book. Use them wisely.

I’m sure there are more, but an editor will come across something that bothers them if a writer when it is repetitive. And as a writer, I’m guilty of all the things that have become pet peeves of mine.

Q: Is it difficult for you to read a professional novel without consciously looking for errors?

A: It used to be when I first started editing for people. I would just cringe at things. My reading speed halted to a crawl, and I knew an awesome book when I forgot the editing “errors” (i.e. not how I would’ve edited it) and focused on the story. Nowadays, I still notice grammar/spelling errors, some repetition, etc., but I try to keep my editing mind away from my reading mind.

Q: This question is about your writing. Where did you get the idea for the "Gravity" books?
A: Defying Gravity started with Linia. In 2004 or so, my friend had roped me into a Star Trek role-playing game in Yahoo Groups. The group never got started, but I had this neat alien character who remained with me. Then, in 2009, Pill Hill Press put out a call for romantic suspense. It could be in any genre, so I’d wanted to write a space fantasy/science fiction story. Defying Gravity emerged from it. After the anthology being cancelled and trying Defying Gravity at a few other places, I decided to self-publish it. From there, the world developed, and I wrote Fighting Gravity and Pull of Gravity with my mix of Greek mythology, aliens, and a futuristic setting.

Q: As a writer who produces professional self-published books, do you enlist the assistance of an editor?

A: Sorta. Do I pay an editor? No. But one of my critique partners is an editor for a small press, so we exchange work. I also have two other critique partners who have been with me since 2009. I couldn’t imagine writing without their input.

Q: How do you stay sharp on all the grammar rules?

A: I read. A lot. I’m not a very fast reader, but I do read 50+ books a year, blog posts, etc. If I don’t know something, I look it up. I have an Ask the Editor feature on my blog, and people send me questions. Sometimes I know the answer right away, but I always do research to not only find out if I’m correct but to learn more. In high school, I took an advance grammar class (Grammar is like math, and I was good at math). One thing that helped me learn grammar so well was taking foreign languages: Spanish (5 years), French (2 years), German (1 year), Latin (2.5 years), and Ancient Greek (1.5 years). Nothing prepares you for grammar more than learning what nouns, verbs, etc. are in another language. I also write, and using the language helps.

Thanks Cherie for consenting to be interviewed!

Author Bio: Cherie Reich is a writer, freelance editor, book blogger, and library assistant. Her short stories have appeared in magazines and anthologies, and her novelettes are published as e-books. She is a member of the Virginia Writers Club and Valley Writers and placed third in Roanoke Valley's BIG READ writing contest. For more information, please visit her website (http://cheriereich.webs.com) and her blog (http://cheriereich.blogspot.com).

SBB Editing Services: http://sbbeditingservices.wordpress.com/

My deep thoughts about bullying revealed by The Newsroom

Olivia Munn as Sloan in "The Newsroom"At the time of the writing of this blog post, I have just finished the "Bully" episode of HBO's "The Newsroom". Just like all the other episodes, this one got me thinking. When the title credits started to roll, I wondered if they were going to talk about the rash of gay teen suicides. Or perhaps they were going to tackle the documentary called "Bully". But instead, they led with the Fukushima disaster in Japan. What on earth does Fukushima have to do with bullying? I'll tell you.
This book was great. You guys want a
review? I could write a funny-ass review
of this book. It had me ROFLMAO.
Sloan, played by Olivia Munn (author of Suck It, Wonder Woman! <== yes I own this book. Yes I think it's awesome), is put on the air to talk with a TEPCO representative about Fukushima. She had previously spoken to him by phone and learned "off the record" that the disaster was very serious. It was going to be raised to a level 7 which is the same level as Chernobyl. But "on the record" the Japanese company was only going as high as level 5 (Three Mile Island).

Because she was frustrated that she had this knowledge and believed that the public deserved the truth, she cornered Will McAvoy (lead anchorman played by Jeff Daniels) and solicited his advice. He told her that she needed to stick to her guns. She needed to go after the guy and make sure that he fessed up to this knowledge. Only then would she be a "true reporter."

So that's exactly what she did. She pursued it with such fervor that it nearly got her canned, cost the guy at TEPCO his job, and panicked an entire nation. But she reported the truth. The only thing is, she was a huge bully. And the whole point of the episode was to show that this is bad.

Workers at the Fukushima disaster last year.Now that I've had some time to digest Aaron Sorkin's clever writing, I have to agree with him. Just because we have truth as a wind beneath our wings does not give any of us the right to bully someone else with it. That goes with all subjects whether it be religion, politics, atheism, science, or any number of other topics.

I think bullying will never get eliminated from the human race. But to minimize the danger of it, we all have a responsibility to keep an open mind and to be accepting to change of any kind. In the least, these are my deep thoughts about bullying revealed by "The Newsroom."

Have a great Monday