Michael Offutt's Blog, page 150

The Judge Dredd body count blows away Commando

Judge Dredd. He is the Law. And you never see his eyes.For those of you unfamiliar with the infamous body count in Schwarzenegger's "Commando," for a long time, it held a record for most people killed in a single film.

I don't know the exact numbers, but Dredd kills a lot of folks in this reboot done some seventeen years since his disastrous big screen appearance helmed by Sylvester Stallone. In my mind, the Judge Dredd body count blows away "Commando."

In looking back at this film , the first thing question that pops into my mind is: who knew women could be so brutal, disgusting, and evil?
Lena Headey as Ma-Ma. She gives a chilling performance as someone
you don't want to cross.Lena Headey plays Ma-Ma, Mega-City One's most horrible citizen. She manufactures a drug called slo-mo which causes a high that slows down time to 1% normal for those who use it. Imagine life and all of your experiences suddenly going into bullet time for a while. That's what slo-mo is like and the effect that is shown on screen is really cool (a silent nod to the brilliant Wachowski's who debuted this technique in 1999 in the groundbreaking film, "The Matrix").

So what makes this "Ma-Ma" so horrible? In just one scene, she orders three men drugged on slo-mo and then flayed alive. Yes, all of their skin is cut off. Imagine that AND on this drug. It would seem like it lasted forever. And then while they're still on it and not quite dead...she drops them off a 200-story balcony to fall to their deaths...to experience their own heads exploding in gushing red gore in microseconds against unyielding concrete.
The concrete arcology called "Peach Trees." It's probably named that
because life is so "peachy" there. Basically, it's a human sewer.It chills my blood to even think about it.

Into this scene comes Judge Dredd, and he is there to pronounce judgement (death) upon Ma-Ma. And a fight to the top of a spooky and dreary arcology that houses 75,000 people begins. The blood bath is pretty amazing, and the violence is accentuated by new and different ways to kill people. He sets them on fire, blows their heads to pieces, throws them off balconies, shoots them dead, butchers them, etc.
Do not be alarmed. It's just a little incineration.And some of it is done in incredible slow motion so that you can see flesh being torn assunder frame by frame.

I have to say, Judge Dredd is not a film for everyone. But it is a film for me. I thoroughly enjoyed the violence carried out in a way that riveted me to the screen.

What about you?

Did you go see this movie this weekend? If so, what did you think?

Is Jaws the only good shark story?

Is Jaws the only story that can have sharks in it that's any good? The original novel by Peter Benchley that took the world by storm in the seventies (yes that was forty years ago) was made into a movie by Steven Spielberg and to this day, the movie adaptation holds its own as a chilling tale. It has great actors, a riveting plot line, and a really evil shark.
I will never go into the ocean because of Jaws. I think I could go in a big boat or something, or I could reasonably get my toes wet, but anything more than a few inches...no thanks.
But, as much as Jaws terrified me, I kind of wanted more. Not more of that same story. But a different story that was just as good.
And it has never happened.
This week, "out on dvd" gives us the latest in just really awful shark films called "Bait 3D" and as I watched the trailer, I realized that yes, Jaws by Peter Benchley is the only good shark story that there will ever be. This looks unbelievably cheesy.Here's the synopsis for it: When a freak tsunami hits a sleepy beach town, a group of survivors find themselves trapped inside a submerged supermarket. As they try to escape to safety, they soon discover that there is a predator among them more deadly than the threat of drowning -- vicious great white sharks lurking in the water, hungry for fresh meat. As the bloodthirsty sharks begin to pick the survivors off one by one, they must work together to find a way out without being eaten alive.
It sounds undeniably bad. So don't you think it's strange that Jaws is the only good story?
I mean it would be like saying, "Is the only wizard school story that will be any good the one penned by J.K. Rowling?" Which we know is wrong, right? I mean, we have Lev Grossman's "The Magicians" and other similar takes.
I wonder what the limitations are about sharks? Maybe they are just too one dimensional. But aren't zombies one dimensional...yet there are a number of good zombie films. Sharks are like zombies, only in water. They swim and they eat and that's all that they do. So, really there are only so many plot lines one could use to get A) people in the water and B) to show sharks eating them.
Any thoughts on why we keep getting terrible shark movies?
I leave you with this cheesy clip from Bait 3D.Have a great weekend :)

The Fall of the Old Republic

The Fall of the Old Republic is coming on Cartoon Network, and it looks epic by any standard. I'm stunned that this is a television show. I applaud you LucasFilm!
Next Saturday, the Clone Wars season 5 returns in a new time slot in the morning. I've just recently got caught up on season four of this absolutely amazing series, and the trailer for the show gives me CHILLS I tell you! From the trailer, it seems that the new season will focus on exactly how the Empire replaces the Old Republic by giving us glimpses of unrest among the public over the Jedis' role in the world. In other words, it answers the question of "How is it that Palpatine had the Jedi eliminated and the galactic populace seems fine with that?"
If you aren't watching the show or you have children and you aren't encouraging them to watch the show, I think you are doing a disservice. I would have LOVED to have cartoons with this kind of production value for my Saturday morning. But instead I had Bugs Bunny, Thundarr the Barbarian, and Land of the Lost. Kids have no idea how good they have it these days.
Please give the trailer a watch unless you are a boring person that doesn't like cool and exciting things.So what is my single favorite scene in this trailer?

When Palpatine (cackling) says to Darth Maul, "You are no longer my apprentice." That part looks chilling as I've never seen Palpatine taking on another uber powerful Sith.

Have you seen the cover for Gravity?

Author Cherie Reich has published her three Gravity books in one comprehensive volume. It's called (appropriately) "Gravity: The Complete Trilogy" and here's the cover for it:
First off, I really love it. And I want to explain why. But before I do that, I want to give credit to the artists that brought this book to production.

The picture was created by Angela Harburn. Cherie purchased the rights to use it for her cover art from Dreamstime.com. Aubrie Dionne designed the cover (the fonts and such), and Cherie drew the bookworm on the back of the cover for her Surrounded by Books Publishing logo.
Now...why I like it. If you take into consideration the placement of the spine, then the front of the ship makes a line (arrow) that points right to the title. So you can't miss the name. Additionally the reflection of the ship on the planet below frames it in so that your eye is draw to the center of the picture. When viewed as a whole, the images on the front cover condense to the words on the back, inevitably leading you to read the blurb.
That's just great marketing.
I'm very happy to judge this book by its cover. In a word: excellence.
Buy Gravity: The Complete Trilogy for your Kindle for only $2.99 HERE.
Have a great Wednesday.

The After by Briane Pagel

In life, death is one of the greatest mysteries. The After by Briane Pagel explores the notion of an afterlife and gives us a tale of people who were taken too soon from this world.

His holiness, the Dalai Lama says, “I believe that the very purpose of life is to be happy. From the very core of our being, we desire contentment. In my own limited experience I have found that the more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being. Cultivating a close, warmhearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. It helps remove whatever fears or insecurities we may have and gives us the strength to cope with any obstacles we encounter. It is the principal source of success in life. Since we are not solely material creatures, it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness on external development alone. The key is to develop inner peace.”

Saorise, the main character in The After, says, "We have a hard time letting go of things." I suppose I could agree with that statement, because I have a hard time letting go now. But maybe we all could learn a thing or two from the Dalai Lama and try to work on our own inner peace. Sadly, Saorise didn't learn this lesson until after her life had ended.
In a beginning that smacks of the Tobey Maguire flick, Pleasantville, Saorise becomes self-aware in her own home, at a table of perfect children and a perfect husband. This is a place where what she may subconsciously wants seems to come true, even if what she consciously desires might disagree with this notion.
At some point, in a conversation with Ansel--her handsome and kind husband--she arrives at the conclusion that they are all dead. Saorise doesn't remember her death. But this doesn't matter, because it is the only explanation that makes sense.
And thus the tale unfolds. Through seemingly random, chaotic, and unpredictable events, she meets people in a world made as lovely as strolling through a field of golden grain at the end of summer. It's surreal, much like the feeling I get from gazing at a painting by artist Brett Cushing entitled "The Departure of Summer." It leaves me with a soaring sense of melancholy. The painting has storm clouds on the horizon and birds in the sky. I think, "those birds are rising before a hot wind and see all the world in its beauty before winter comes." And death is the winter of our lives.
The Departure of the Summer by artist Brett Cushing. Click to Embiggen.Saorise has so much love for her husband and her babies that living with them is the only "heaven" possible for her. But as she begins to question what is going on, her subconscious desires to know the truth. And "The After" obeys by unraveling the events of her own demise even as she gets closer and closer to the actual Tree of Knowledge at the center of The Garden of Eden.
Her guide in this journey IS her subconscious, manifested as William Howard Taft, a man that at first seems to be the villain of the story, yet (in my opinion) represents something entirely different. In life, Taft was President of the United States. In death he is also a leader, though of a different sort.
As I read Pagel's tale, I became more and more aware that in every scene Taft entered, he prodded Saorise to uncover more truths of her existence. He served as the motivation for her to find the Tree of Knowledge which is on the verge of bearing fruit. This begs the question: what happens when someone eats the fruit? The notion of "Can humans get kicked out of the Garden of Eden twice?" surfaces more than once.

But here's the thing, Saorise doesn't need to eat the fruit to know "everything." By the time her journey to the Tree of Knowledge ends, and she settles down at its base, Saorise knows all that she needs to know in a deeply satisfying ending that says paradise is what you make of it and that only through living one's life is one capable of understanding the Grand Design (if there is one).

For Saorise, the Grand Design was finding love while alive and being in love with Ansel.
Saorise's epiphany is three-fold. She learns:1) That everyone's "After" is a reflection of what we are unable to let go of in life.2) That when we die, we are allowed to return to "The Garden of Eden."3) That on the way to Florida, their plane fell out of the sky, and she and her children burned to death leaving their husband, a lone survivor, all alone in the world to deal with the grief.
And at the end of the novel, Pagel tells us of Ansel's fate (and it's something we suspect we knew but didn't want to see happen because he's just that beautiful).  Ansel's body survived that plane crash, but despite counseling, his mind could not live without those he loved. All alone, heading toward a farm house that he and Saorise saw once from the road, he pulled over for the night.

And he killed himself using prescription sleeping pills.

It is a profound moment in the book when Saorise realizes how much Ansel loved her. And she hugs him and kisses him and says, "Oh...Ansel." And in those two words, we know all the beauty that we need to know. That life ends, but love it seems is everlasting.

I really encourage you to pick up a copy of The After and read it. This book is well deserving of its five stars for emotional, well written characters, and a story which is so sad and beautiful at the same time, that it will leave you pondering the pages well after you have put down the book.

Purchase The After at Amazon for only 99 cents HERE.

Thank you, Pagel, for such a great story.

Genre Favorites Blogfest by Alex J. Cavanaugh

Today, I am participating in Alex J. Cavanaugh's Genre Favorites Blogfest. I would have forgotten about this one, but Alex reminded me to do it on Friday. I try to be organized, but I am nowhere near as organized as Alex is. He's definitely someone I look up to in our community.

This festival is pretty easy. You list three of your favorite genres and then a guilty pleasure from one of the three categories.

In books, I like Speculative Fiction.

In movies, I like Speculative Fiction.
Why do I like speculative fiction? Because it allows me to see things
like this dragon. This is my original artwork done with acrylic paint on
illustration board. Copyright Michael Offutt (but if you like it, go ahead
and use it). I don't care. :) Click to embiggen. And yes, I still think I suck
at art, but I keep trying just like with my writing. I call this painting
"Wings by Night" as if that weren't obvious.Music, however, is a little harder to define. I like jazz (especially live), classical, songs used in musicals (which tend to be all over the place), rock, techno, soul, R&B, and pop. The only music that I can't get into is any rap that is not done by Eminem and then everything in the Country genre. I don't know why Eminem resonates with me. He just does, and I own all his albums.

My guilty pleasure is pop music because I know it's looked down upon by adults. But when I'm in the car by myself, I totally can rock out to Lady Gaga and Katie Perry. But as I have gotten older, I listen to more jazz than anything. I can't stand radio with all it's commercials, and more often than not, my radio is tuned to NPR. The only music I can write to is classical. All others are too obtrusive.

If you haven't heard of Alex, please go by his blog located HERE. He's a great guy to get to know. And despite having almost 2000 followers, the dude gets around. I have no idea how he does it.

Terry Brooks Shannara books are getting a t.v. series

I love staring at fantasy maps. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because
my mind fills in all the possibilities for adventure that lurks in places.
Or maybe it just has to do with the fact that I played too much
Dungeons and Dragons growing up.Stout defenders of Terry Brooks will probably disagree with me when I say that The Sword of Shannara is a point for point ripoff of Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings. And I've made that argument more than once, so I don't want to make it again. If you are curious about what I'm saying, you can Google it, or read the books back to back and note that, verbatim, the plot and the number of characters and even the physical size of the characters are repeated.

What I'm talking about in THIS post is that Brooks' Shannara books are getting a t.v. series. You can read about it at the VARIETY LINK HERE . And I'm excited about it. Yes, I am :) Does that surprise you?
See, I read The Sword of Shannara as a teenager right after finishing my first read of The Lord of the Rings. Did I notice the startling similarity? Yes, I did. Was I upset by it? A little, but not enough to stop reading. Let's face it, I was a nut for fantasy. I didn't care, and I particularly don't care as much now. I wanted to see monsters and wizards. Sure Allanon was just Gandalf and a druid instead of a wizard, but he could throw fire from his hands. In other words...he was a more "kickass" version of Gandalf.
And here's the thing, once Brooks moves past the first book, the series really starts to carve its own niche. Elfstones still had some similarities to Tolkien, but I loved the two witches that fight to the death. And the reaper made for some chilling scenes.
And then of course we get Wishsong, which started a whole new trend of cool abilities and places to go.
One of the strongest things I've seen is Brooks' ability to reinvent himself with Shannara. Just when things get stale, more map unfolds. Just when you think he doesn't have another villain, he recreates one from the ashes of the witches and puts that in a later book. He gives us flying ships with parse tubes and strange glowing crystals and entire islands made from computers. And really badass creatures as big as barns crawling through places like Japanese Kaiju.
I really liked in the later books how he even explores the other side of the Forbidding (a thing only hinted at in the Elfstones book).
Casting for the series is going to have to be redone with every new book. I think that's another hidden strength. Because characters featured in one rarely turn up in another. That means nothing ever gets stale, and new actors have the chance to get jobs.
So yeah, I'm excited about this series, despite my misgivings at how the very first one got published. In retrospect, I'm glad it DID get published, because I think Brooks is one of the greatest fantasy authors who has ever lived. Maybe he just needed Tolkien to get started. Everyone needs a place to start, right? I forgave Brooks a long time ago. And, I still buy his books.
Hopefully, this series doesn't run congruent with "A Game of Thrones." I want my fantasy fix all year long.
Have a great weekend.

A totally gay godzilla just for you

Thank you so much for the support on Wednesday. I'm dedicating this totally gay godzilla to you for having helped Slipstream attain the coveted spot of number one in "Best science fiction books with gay main characters." With your assistance I went *STOMP STOMP STOMP all over the list on Goodreads and didn't even damage any cars. So if you ever had any doubt how wonderful you truly are, remember this...
I leave you on this Thursday with this video of the wealth I hope you attain in your writing endeavors. May it inspire you to unheard of heights in Fabulosity.
and yes, you may use my word (fabulosity) as often as you like. ;)

Can you do me a goodreads favor?

With your help my friends, I too can be a Dragon Ball Z character for
an obscure online list of books no one reads! This is your
mission, if you choose to accept it...So the social networking site for book lovers called Goodreads has these lists for books (you may have seen them if you are on that site), and I'm tired of "Slipstream" being mediocre in all of them. Just in one, I would like to be higher, maybe even number one. So I picked out one that I think isn't going to step on any of my fellow author's toes (at least the ones with whom I regularly network).

HERE'S THE LINK TO THE LIST

It's pretty straight forward. "Best Science Fiction Books with Gay Main Characters." Like...the number one listing HAS ONLY 27 votes. I think I could totally own this list with a little help from my bloggy friends (that being you).
UPDATE: GUYS YOU GOT ME TO NUMBER 10!! Squeee.

Ahem...so here's the favor. And it's really simple. IF you have a goodreads account (just to make it clear, I'm not asking you to go and sign up for another social network)...could you please go to the link and just vote for my book. That's it. One little click. I'm currently ranked number 78 and the list really isn't all that long. I even provided the link and circled the button in blue and included a picture of what it looks like up top so you won't be confused.

And just maybe, by the end of the day, I won't be so mediocre in the listing. I might move up!

What I will do for you in return:
1) If you indicate that you would like me to bump your book up in a list, let me know in a comment and I'd be happy to cast my vote cause chances are, we aren't competing in this one. As far as I know, I follow 600 some odd blogs and no one has a gay main character in a sci-fi book. Only straight people write books and they only have straight protagonists pining for straight white men or a straight woman (here's looking at you, Alex ;)). There's nothing wrong with that. It's just my observation with some hyperbole thrown in for good measure. So Jordan (my protag) is kind of like spotting the Loch Ness monster.

What do I expect to accomplish by asking for this? Nothing. But I'll get to be a big pickle. And I shall be a pickle like no other pickle has ever been before!
But because you know my secret, you can always say... Have a great Wednesday.

Hansel and Gretel as Witch Hunters sounds brilliant

A reinvention of the well-worn fairy tale has finally crossed the line into the guy territory of pure cheesy awesome-ness. This movie deserves to be in one of those theaters that serve brew along with French fries and hamburgers. Hansel and Gretel as Witch Hunters sounds brilliant. Let's hope that it crushes the awful slew of Snow White movies we've had in the last year. I only wish Hansel could put one in Kristen Stewart so I wouldn't have to see her in another movie.

And honestly, who could go wrong with casting the dude that played Hawkeye, the new Bourne Guy, and raced around with Tom Cruise in the latest Mission: Impossible movie? His career is exploding, and I don't really even know his name. I guess I should learn it.

Have a great Tuesday.