Michael Offutt's Blog, page 152

All greatness comes from mediocrity

Have a great weekend.

Excited for Season 7 of Dr. Who. Are you?

They look remarkably calm given that they are surrounded by Daleks. Those guys are mean.I've been watching Dr. Who for a little while now on Saturday nights on BBC America. For one, no commercials! Yay.  And for two, great production values and special effects. It's easily as good as any Star Trek I've seen and better written by far. I like how the show seems to be able to capture a very human element in nearly every episode even though it's open format basically allows for everything. Just to clarify, I might be using the wrong words in saying "open format" but because the doctor is a Time Lord, basically, any writer can write about anything and it will fit.  If you wanted to talk about blue mushroom people that only procreate when pigs eat and defecate the spores out, this could be an episode.
Rory Pond is my favorite of the companions. Who wears vests anymore? But Rory
totally makes this look work for him. I think it's the distressed jeans and the shirt
tails untucked, the gelled hairdo to look unkempt, and the intense stare that says, "I'm hot."You know the one thought that goes through my mind when I think of Dr. Who? It's something that a physicist said on one of those science channel shows. He stated that if the universe truly is infinite, then anything that we can possibly imagine can happen. Even if it has a 1 in a gazillion chance--in the scope of infinity it becomes mathematically possible. I'm not a mathematician so I have no idea if this is correct or not.  But I have to think, somewhere out there is a flying Tardis. Weird, huh? My brain has no ability to grasp what infinity is anyway, so I'm content to just see what other people come up with.
The adorable Amy Pond. Yay, we get a peek into the Pond life.I'm really excited for this upcoming season which starts on September 1st. For one, we are getting more of the weeping angels (which is probably the most terrified I've been from a science-fiction television show in some time). Those things were just plain scary, and I think everyone else in the world agrees because "They're back!" And yes, I had trouble sleeping the nights I watched those episodes.
These guys can only move and attack you
when you're not looking (so don't blink!).Plus, I think Rory is handsome and have liked him ever since he's been on the show. I despaired when he got zapped out of existence in an underground episode and am happy that they brought him back, even if he was as a Roman centurion. Amy is beautiful and a wonderful companion for Rory and the fact that they love each other and travel around with the doctor is just really cool. I hope that the two of them survive the season unscathed (even though they are definitely gone after I think five episodes). Rumor is, someone is dying. I know that this will be the last season featuring these companions. *Sniff. I hope that the writers are not reading George R.R. Martin. If you read George, you know exactly what I'm talking about here.
I'm also kind of excited about the spinoff series that Amy and Rory are getting online. It sounds suitably quirky, and it's called Pond Life. The first episode premieres this Monday online. So just when Falling Skies and the Newsroom and my trash addiction of True Blood is ending, I get an infusion of Dr. Who love. :) It would be my dream to write just one episode of a show like this. In the least, they should take my suggestion and do a crossover with BBC's other hit show Merlin and feature Bradley James as King Arthur hanging out with the Ponds. That would be made of awesome.

Are you going to watch Pond Life on Monday?

I vote for Russell Edgington as the new Jabba the Hutt

Sunday night's True Blood episode was the second to the last in the season, and it sucked balls (no pun intended). Why would I say that? Because of this fairy pictured below among other things too numerous to list. Like seriously, what the f*ck is this?
You are looking at a picture of the oldest and wisest fairy in the world of True Blood. She's thousands of years old, has untold powers, has experienced life as many beings and traveled to many realms of existence. Sookie has sought her out to get answers about a mysterious contract involving vampires and her father. In case you aren't taking this fairy seriously, here's another shot of her, looking very powerful and very serious.
Okay, maybe not powerful. But she's serious.  Serious about what people think of Boys2Men and John Cougar Mellencamp. I'm not kidding.

So what does this fairy do? She does this crazy dance on a stage and asks Sookie about KE$HA. Like seriously? I thought maybe this character could have been somewhat interesting when she shuddered at hearing that the oldest vampire in the world, Russell Edgington, was alive. For the record, Sookie didn't know who Ke$ha was.
"Ke$ha, for or against?" She asks the
important questions.So the fairies come up with a plan to trap Russell and gang bang him with all their powers. But the elder fairy steps up and says, "I got this!" with confidence. "You all just stay back here and watch." So all the fairies do just that, and the most powerful fairy struts out there, blows away Steve Newlin and then...misses Russell.

Then Russell sucks her until her face caves in. The only thing good about Russell is his overacting. It's as good as Mama Firefly in "The Devil's Rejects." In case you haven't watched, "The Devil's Rejects" it's a slasher film that manages to be hilariously funny. Mama Firefly all tied in a chair laughs hysterically "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA," and it's just craaaazy cause it goes on way too long. Russell's the same way.  "I'M SUCKIN' ON HEAVEEENNNN!!"
Mother Firefly. Don't feel sorry for her. She's a psychopathic murdering
serial killer that has a serious case of overacting-itis. That's the inflammation
of the overacting gland that afflicts actors who star in bad movies.It's the stupidest thing I have seen since the movie Dragonslayer.  For those of you who don't know, Dragonslayer is one of the worst, one of the stupidest, one of the most horrible fantasy films ever made (some thirty years ago). In the first five minutes, we get introduced to a wizard of great power. He lights some fires, has a formidable appearance, is being followed by a kid who wants to learn to be a wizard too. It's a great setup.

Then some men show up on horseback. The wizard goes out to greet them, and they want him to kill a dragon. Okay...so this might get good. Then the wizard and the warrior don't see exactly eye-to-eye. The warrior pulls a knife on the wizard and the wizard says (just like the eldest fairy in True Blood) "Your weapons can't hurt me!" So we're expecting some magic, right? We're expecting this wizard to show up the warrior.
The wizard looks cool, right? He dies in the first five minutes after
uttering the famous words, "Your weapons can't hurt me." Yeah right. Loser.Well the warrior stabs the wizard and...the wizard dies.

Let me phrase this another way. This would be just like Gandalf saying to the Balrog, "YOU CANNOT PASS!" and then having the Balrog kick him off the bridge and everyone standing around saying, "uhhh...did that demon just kick that senior citizen off the bridge? We all need to run, yo!" And then have Legolas all snap  his fingers Lafayette style.

WHAT THE HELL? I gaze at my watch? Ten minutes into the movie and the wizard is f'ing dead. Then the rest of the movie just drags ass to a stupid ending with a dragon that doesn't even look like a dragon anyway.

So yeah...oldest fairy in the world walks out to Russell Edgington and...is dead.

Please HBO, redeem yourself by giving us a season finale that has a final shot of a blood soaked Russell sitting atop a mountain of faeries, werewolves, shapeshifters, and the entire population of Bon Temps. He'd laugh like Jabba the Hutt and have Steve Newlin as his Salacious Crumb and Eric as his Dancing Leia Slave.
Okay replace the image of Jabba with that of Russell Edgington all gorged in blood.
Leia needs to be Eric Northman, shirtless, and Salacious Crumb should be Steve Newlin.Minus Lafayette for lines like this (don't kill my Lafayette): I think I could be on board with that. So raise your hand if you too are voting for Russell Edgington as the new Jabba the Hutt. A little Star Wars could only improve the writing in this show. Hell bring on Jar-Jar Binks. I could be entertained as he says, "Meesa wanna have a slumber party with young naked vamps."
Oh and HBO, could we have one episode where Sam and Luna are not naked? They have been naked this ENTIRE SEASON. They were even naked when they went to get their daughter. Guys who don't watch this show, I'm not exaggerating. Sam and Luna really have been naked all season.
At least they knew to show Alcide shirtless whenever a scene cropped up with him in it. Altogether, I think he may have gotten at least five minutes of time this season.
Why oh why do I watch this sh*t? I'm gonna go facepalm now as I am truly disgusted with myself.

Weighted Release Day Blitz

I love this cover! It's like a Nationwide insurance commercial where the guy talks
about "vanishing deductible" and makes a huge boulder hanging over a
woman's head disappear.Today, I'm participating in the Weighted release day blitz written by critically acclaimed author and fantastic blogger, Ciara Knight. At right, I've included a picture of what she looks like:
This is Ciara Knight. She writes great books.
Ciara writes to ‘Defy the Dark’ with her fantasy and paranormal books. Her debut novel, The Curse of Gremdon, was released to acclaimed reviews, securing a Night Owl Top Pick and five stars from the Paranormal Romance Guild. Also, book I, Rise From Darkness, from her debut young adult Battle For Souls series, secured glowing reviews and won July Book of the Month from Long and Short Reviews.

Her first love, besides her family, reading, and writing, is travel. She's backpacked through Europe, visited orphanages in China, and landed in a helicopter on a glacier in Alaska.

Ciara is extremely sociable so please feel free to connect with her at her blog, website, Twitter, Goodreads, or Facebook,

Weighted (Prequel Novelette)

The Great War of 2185 is over, but my nightmare has just begun. I am being held captive in the Queen’s ship awaiting interrogation. My only possible ally is the princess, but I’m unsure if she is really my friend or a trap set by the Queen to fool me into sharing the secret of my gift. A gift I keep hidden even from myself. It swirls inside my body begging for release, but it is the one thing the Queen can never discover. Will I have the strength to keep the secret? I’ll know the answer soon. If the stories are true about the interrogators, I’ll either be dead or a traitor to my people by morning.

Want to know more about Weighted? Please go read THIS excerpt right now.

Here is where you can find Weighted today. Don't "wait." LOL...punny, right?

SMASHWORDS
AMAZON
BARNES & NOBLE 

It will be up on all online retailers soon, including iBookstore, Kobo, AReCafe, etc…
If anyone has a second to ‘like’ or agree with tags on Amazon, that would be awesome.

Upcoming books in The Neumarian Chronicles:
Escapement (Book I) - Early 2013

Pendulum (Book II) - Mid 2013

Balance (Book III) - Early 2014

Other books by Cara Knight:

Battle for Souls Series

Rise From Darkness

Fall From Grace

Ascension of Evil - Coming in October

The American Horror Story Asylum Teaser

In my opinion, the first season of American Horror Story broke new ground in a tired genre of cliche stereotypes. I was held spellbound by the tale of a family that had moved into a haunted house. I told myself, there's no way you can kill off main characters in the first season. Yet that's exactly what they did. They killed off the entire family by the finale and wow, was it ever epic.
Season two is an entirely different story, set in an asylum. Some of the same actors and actresses are returning, only they are cast in different roles. Season one and season two are unrelated.
This approach is absolutely brilliant. And because the writing was so good in the first season, I will be right there for the premiere in October with my popcorn and DVR ready.
Anyway, here is the first Asylum teaser trailer that got released last week. This is the perfect example of a great hook only in video form and not written down.In this short clip, here are the elements that we get. 1) We hear a ringing bell. That could be a church service in the background or a call to prayer or just the time of day. But it's kind of creepy. 2) There's a nun in a habit walking away from the camera carrying two buckets.  What's in the buckets? Body parts.  We hear birds chirping which might mean that this is meant to be food for the local animals. 3) The nun is not panicked in any way. It's obviously a duty that she does often.
Creepy Nun! What's in the bucket? Body parts?! OMGHoly crap! I'm hooked. I've got to know more. What's going on here? Are nuns feeding people to the local animals? Why are the human bodies all chopped up? Who put the body parts in the buckets? Do we actually see the bodies getting chopped up? Are they gonna go there? AHS is dripping in blood and gore so, maybe. They showed kids getting blown away last year in a Columbine type massacre and women getting horrific abortions that resulted in their deaths. So many questions, so few answers.
Tomorrow I will be participating in Ciara Knight's takeover of the blogosphere with "Weighted." Have a great Monday.
EDIT: I was mistaken on the interview posting date. I will be featured on Brinda's blog next Monday.

The wonderful world of Mondo posters

All of my extended family lives in Texas. The home of George W. Bush, the home of Rick Perry, the state that is so conservative it makes me wince just a little thinking that I should visit there.
But is Austin different? You betcha. I could live in Austin. For one, they have the Alamo Drafthouse and that means Mondo.
Mondo is the Alamo Drafthouse's collectible art boutique, featuring designs from world famous artists based on licenses for popular TV and Movie properties including Star Wars, Star Trek & Universal Monsters. Championed for their limited edition screen printed posters, Mondo focuses on bringing art back to movie posters by working with artists such as Olly Moss, Tyler Stout, Martin Ansin and others. Besides creating stunning works for beloved classics and contemporary films.

Here are my current love affairs. They are posters that (if I owned my own house) I would collect and display. They are so pretty. Click to Embiggen. Are you impressed by the wonderful world of Mondo posters? Have a great weekend my writer friends. And remember, a half finished book, is a half finished love affair.

Mind control is the most troubling super power

Kahlil Gibran who lived from 1883 to 1931 was a Lebanese-American writer, poet, and artist. He has many famous quotes, but the one that I remember is this:

“If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.”

But what does this mean? Well, aside from the fact that there is no force in the universe that can make someone love another, I think it also implies that freedom of choice is one of the most intrinsic and important human values. Fair enough, right?

However, as much as you might think this is beautiful and true, it flies in the face of actual human nature. We are internally programmed to seek out and reward those who agree with us, and to punish those who do not. In other words, in practice, we really don't like choice UNLESS that choice agrees with us. Allow me to explain by telling you about the research of Professor Karen Wynn of Harvard University.

Dr. Wynn has found (by studying babies) a kind of preferential mental processing that begins before the first birthday. As children grow older, things as simple as the likes and dislikes of food to the color of an individual's skin lead to decisions of inclusion and exclusion, growing ever more complex. These biases and preferences sometimes assert themselves in the rise of regimes that demonize and dehumanize "others" who are outside their own group. This lies at the root of catastrophic human events like social ostracism, genocide, and slavery.

On Monday night, I watched the newest episode of "Alphas." The lady in the picture at the top of this post is Nina, and her special power is mind control. Monday's episode was all about Nina, and how she abused her "mind control" power all of her life. As a young girl, her parents were going to split up, and she mind controlled her father to make him stay. The result was the fighting between mom and dad continued, and it eventually led the father to kill himself.
Charles Xavier is a mutant with powerful mind control abilities.The boy she fell in love with disagreed with her and she "almost" mind controlled him but stopped herself just before she went through with it. But it frightened the boy so much, it damaged their relationship forever. She never forgot him and looked him up years later.  A young man, he had become a father and husband. What did Nina do? She mind controlled him again so that he would leave them and run away with her. She eventually realized that she had done a terrible thing and let him go. After that, she tried to commit suicide. "I am a bad person," she said.

No. Nina, you are not a bad person. Humans in general are bad. You just got an ability that accommodated your natural desire.

All week I've been shaking my head and wondering why mind control is even a super power? It's a curse. If you had mind control, the only result would be to use it to get your way. This is what all of us want. Yet it defies what Mr. Gibran would call one of the most important and intrinsic human values. Choice.

And the real rub in this thinking, is that many of us want both of these conditions at the same time. We want absolute freedom, yet we desire the company of those who share our same beliefs and visions.

In comic books, none of Superman's powers have drawbacks. Super speed, strength, agility, eyesight, hearing...all of these things are useful. None of them have a negative side. I think the history of mind control studies point to a clear fascination by humans who have desired this ability. In America, freedom has been packaged, sold, and labeled in red, white, and blue. But I ask the question, how many Americans would secretly love to have Nina's mind control ability if they could? And how many would use it while wearing t-shirts that tout "home of the free and land of the brave?"

I think mind control is the most troubling super power.

If you could have mind control as a super power, would you take it? And how do you think you would use it? Would you be able to keep it under control the moment you didn't get your way in something? I look forward to reading your comments.

Oh magical tea, how I love you

Have a great Wednesday. Thank you all who noticed I had a birthday :)
Yes it was wonderful. I ate at my favorite restaurant with my brother and went to a live jazz concert afterward. And when I went home, I had a cup of tea. All is now right with the world.

Dead Freight was truly horrific

NO NO NO...arrrggghhh. This is the adorable little kid that was murdered
by Walt and his gang in Sunday night's episode called "Dead Freight. I
hate shows that feature murdered kids. And the cuter they are, the more
traumatic it is for me. Why did this child have to die? So angry.Since this is the final season of "Breaking Bad", I can't help myself but to speculate over every episode. Forgive me if you are not into this show like I am, but this Sunday's episode sunk to new lows. I don't mean it's terrible...but just when I thought it could get no worse...it got worse.

I've seen bodies dissolved in acid. I've seen Jesse having sex with a strung out hooker on meth. I've seen a girl asphyxiate on her own vomit form a heroin shot and die while Walt watches and does nothing. I've seen half a man's face blown off with the eyeball exposed. There have been throats cut, people burned alive, and a decapitated head attached to the back of a tortoise shell.
This is the bastard that killed the kid. Todd. He's the new guy from
the "Vamonos Pest" employer which works with Walt and Jesse to
give them houses in which they can cook their meth. I so want Jesse
to kill this jerk. Out of Walt, Jesse, and Todd, Jesse is the only one who
knows that this is incredibly wrong. He's the only one that still has the
vestiges of a moral compass.
But last night, Todd (Walt's new "guy") shot and killed an innocent boy who had just waved to them. This boy was perfectly cast...skinny, on his dirt bike, and he'd just shown his compassion by handling a tarantula in his palm and putting it safely into a glass jar that he'd punched holes in so it could breathe.

And they blew him away, because he saw them rob a train.

I felt Jesse's pain as he screamed, "Noooooo!" and tried to stop Todd from killing the kid.

But yeah, I was stunned.

Walt is evil and needs to be put down fast. But how is that going to happen? It's clear he's becoming the new Kingpin, and the clues from next week's episode is that he's a self-proclaimed emperor of all things meth.

Will Skyler break and finally spill the beans, thus dooming herself and her children? With two parents in prison for hundreds of felonies (or possibly dead), what legacy do the children have except one of poverty and ridicule by others who blame their parents for the death of hundreds of people affected by their meth manufacturing?
Here's Jesse robbing the train of the precious methylamine.  This part of
the episode was fantastic. The timing, execution, and Hitchcock-like
troubles they overcame had me on the edge of my seat biting my
nails in nervousness. Especially when the big truck showed up and
Walt refused to stop filling the tank until he had it all. Jesse almost got
run over by the train and had to lie flat on the tracks.
Will Jesse survive? I have a feeling that Todd is being groomed by Walt at this point as a replacement. Todd follows orders and isn't as emotional as Jesse. He isn't a good person (which Jesse really is). Walt didn't even move a muscle as Todd shot and killed the boy on the bike. Heck, he almost smiled. Like he was indifferent that a child died.

If ever I had a doubt, Walt's complete transformation into a sociopath who cares nothing for human life is now complete. Though I feel for Skyler, she's just as culpable by allowing this evil bastard to continue without blowing the whistle.

I also want to know what's up with Lydia? That woman can talk herself out of anything. And I almost see her as a perfect match for Walt. Are these two going to hook up? It'd be like two snakes in a basket. I think they'd love each other.

Hank Schraeder, do the world good and put a bullet in your best friend Walter White. It needs to be done. The episode "Dead Freight" was truly horrific. Walt's product is killing people every day. But something about allowing a child to die and Walt being okay with it makes me hate you, Hank, for every day you allow it to continue.

Bill Finger and the Batman

As a boy, I collected Detective Comics for years. You would see me flipping through back issues in obscure comic book shops in every city I visited.  Nearly every great writer in the industry has done some work on this superhero.  The Batman's entire mythos has been penned by such notable names as Marv Wolfman, Samm Hamm, Grant Morrison, Alan Moore, or Frank Miller. They invented "the Rogue's Gallery" which seemed to take on a life of its own as more and more villains joined that infamous group. We have Ra's al Ghul, the League of Shadows, the Joker, the Riddler, the Penguin, Catwoman, the Scarecrow, Bane, Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, Mr. Freeze, and the list goes on and on.

Green letters on the cover denote
a first edition print. I own this issue.Truthfully, I've forgotten the names of so many good comic writers, but I still remember my favorite story lines. Who can forget "A Death in the Family"?  Who can forget the blood streaked corpse of bad boy Jason Todd (Robin) which basically started all of this "Dark Knight" stuff. After Jason's death, the Batman was never the same. He became brooding, blamed himself, and embraced a life of dark isolation. Who can forget the iconic "The Killing Joke" where Barbara Gordon "Batgirl" gets paralyzed? This character is later scene in the television series "Birds of Prey" which lasted only one season (but deserved more).

One of the darkest graphic novels I have ever read is "Arkham Asylum." Its art is flat out, unforgettable. And I unknowingly attributed ALL of this great creation to Bob Kane who I thought created "The Batman." But recently, I realized that I am wrong. DC has hidden a substantial truth from the eyes of the world. Bob Kane had a friend and co-worker named Bill Finger who is responsible for half of everything that IS the Batman legend. I wanted to talk about that today, because I think no recognition for something as big as "the Batman" is wrong.
A Death in the Family. Jason Todd killed by the Joker.
As the story goes, DC commissioned Bob Kane to come up with a new superhero after their success with Superman. Kane met Finger at a party and hired him to help.
These are Bill Finger's contributions to the Batman legend as identified in the new book Bill the Boy Wonder: the Secret Co-Creator of Batman by Marc Tyler Nobleman:He named Gotham City.He named Bruce Wayne.He designed the Batman's cape and cowl costume.Kane wanted to call the character "Birdman". It was Bill who said, let's call him "the Batman".Bill came up with the concept of Robin by saying that the Batman needed a companion with whom he could converse.Bill wrote the first story featuring "the Joker".Bill Finger came up with the story that as a child, Bruce Wayne witnessed the murder of his parents, and this was the catalyst that started him down the superhero/vigilante path. A single panel from the graphic novel, Arkham Asylum. This artwork by artist Dave McKean and story
by writer Grant Morrison blew me away. I had never been treated to a story that was darker and more
riveting that this particular one. There's an unforgettable scene where the Batman shoves a shard
of broken glass through his palm and I thought the blood and the glass looked real.Kane went on to become very wealthy. Bill Finger died poor because his name is on none of this. Does that seem right to you?
Here's a great fan-made video called Batman: Puppet Master. Why am I including this? Well 1) it's great entertainment but 2) it shows you just how ingrained the whole "Batman" experience is with American pop culture. It's filmed in the spirit of Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight franchise. I think it's pretty good, but rather long. Give it a watch if you have the time. And the next time you talk about the Batman, know that there is a silent co-creator of this superhero that got absolutely no credit and hardly any money.

What would you do if someone took all of your ideas, got rich from it, and gave you no credit at all?