Jon Acuff's Blog, page 99

A couple of paragraphs on quitting.

(I am incredibly biased about the Quitter Conference. I think you should go! James who wrote today’s post? He’s a guy who had never heard of the conference and didn’t want to read the book. Here’s what happened when he attended the Quitter Conference in February of this year.)

Quitter, quitting, quit . . . words that have such a negative tone for most people that hear them. I felt the same way until I got a wake-up call earlier this year while in the midst of a season filled with wishing, wanting, complaining, hoping and soul-searching.

I wanted so badly to follow the dream that God had placed in my heart, or at least a dream I believed He had placed there. I have a job that pays well, provides good benefits and is located close to home, close to my wife’s private practice and close to my friends. It just isn’t the job that I want to do for the rest of my life.

It was easy for me to articulate what the dream job would be to my mentors, to my family, to my closest friends and even to myself. The problem was, it was just words with some grumbling and dissatisfaction thrown in.

I think God (and my friends and family as well) grew weary of my complaining and hopeful talk so a door opened that would provide the kick start I needed to stop talking and begin doing.

First, my wife read the book Quitter and declared I should immediately read it. I didn’t read it. Second, my good friend Manny Martinez (CEO of Hello Somebody) offered me the opportunity to attend the Quitter Conference in February of this year as his guest. I realized this was a chance that I needed to grab onto.

I gladly and thankfully accepted while rushing home to read Quitter in the week I had to prepare for the conference. Once at the conference, having Jon bring the book to life and also hearing others going through the same things as I had made me realize I needed to make my dream more than words I shared with people.

After the conference, I started a company and hoped I could get a client to actually pay me for my services. Amazingly, I got a client and worked on the project in the time I had outside of my 40 hour/week job. I finished the project and was thrilled to have actually walked the dream out.

Today, I am still at my day job but was just asked to become a partner in a new venture with someone I respect greatly. I never imagined I would have the opportunity to not only work with this person but to be asked to become their business partner. It was a huge surprise and incredible opportunity.

Quitter and the Quitter Conference are not about quitting a job but rather quitting the cycle of wishing, hoping and talking about the dream so you can begin the work of living the dream. I encourage anyone that is searching or knows someone that is searching for how to pursue their dream to read Quitter and to attend the conference. I promise it will be a life-changing event to can be the catalyst to living that dream.

The prayer request whisperer.

A few weeks ago, I was in a prayer circle.

It was actually more of a prayer rectangle because of the shape of the room, but nobody says that.

Except me. “Prayer rectangle” might be my new favorite phrase. Or the name of an emo Christian band. Either way. Back to the post.

After a few prayer requests, a woman stood up and started to speak.

Turns out she was a prayer request whisperer (PRW). As soon as she started talking, I couldn’t hear a thing. She wasn’t crying. She wasn’t that emotional. She was just very, very quiet. Everyone in the room collectively leaned forward, straining to hear what she was saying, but it didn’t matter. Her words were like dust in the wind, all the words were dust in the wind.

In that moment you only have 3 options:

1. Ask for an encore.

Call an audible. After the PRW has finished the prayer request, simply say, “Can you please repeat that? Only this time, at like an 8?” Chances are, you’re going to look a little like a jerk. No matter how you phrase this request, it’s going to sound like you weren’t listening the first time. The PRW doesn’t know how soft they talk, and they are going to assume you were busy playing Angry Birds the first time they made their request.

2. Vague it up.

If you are leading the prayer and have no idea what a PRW has asked you to pray about, you better go vague. Say things like, “Lord, we pray for your mercy and grace.” (Everyone always needs that.) Or, “Lord, please help us with the things we all said today.” Don’t try to guess on specifics. What might have sounded like “I have a transmission problem in my car” might have actually been “I have a transition problem in my career.” Don’t gamble on specifics. You will get burned. And noticed. (I’m so relevant!)

3. Assume God heard.

He’s God. He’s got this one. He heard. Like he needs people to speak up. He whispered to Elijah. Or Elisha. Someone got whispered to outside of a cave. God loves the whisper. Don’t worry about the PRW. She’s in God’s hands now.

What did I do in that moment?

Well, I wrote myself a note that I should probably do a post about this on Stuff Christians Like. And then I vagued it up.

Question:

Have you ever experienced a Prayer Request Whisperer?

Forgetting how crazy God is about redemption.

Last weekend a group of protestors picketed my church.

The group in question is famous (infamous?) for protesting churches and other events. I wrote a short blog post about it and tweeted on the topic a few times. One particular comment I received stuck out to me.

A guy named Brandon asked me:

“Do you ever wonder is Saul of Tarsis would be among them? Maybe they will see a blinding light in the way home.”

Wow, when you think about that, he raises an interesting point.

The protestors seem peaceful compared to Saul (Paul.)

The protestors ask authorities for permits to march. Saul asked authorities for arrest warrants.

They yell hateful slogans. Saul yelled murderous threats.

They give approval to protesting. Saul gave approval to stoning.

They persecute with words. Saul persecuted with death.

You can certainly argue that Saul might not have joined the protestors at my church for a thousand different reasons, but there’s one thing we can all agree on – modern protestors have nothing on Saul.

And yet, Saul becomes Paul. Saul becomes the greatest missionary our faith has ever known. Saul becomes the one standing before the authorities saying, “I know this whole thing sounds crazy, and I too was convinced that I ought to do all that was possible to oppose the name of Jesus of Nazareth. My persecution against followers of the Way was an obsession! But what am I supposed to do? I can’t be disobedient to this. It’s real!”

The story of Saul becoming Paul doesn’t make sense. It’s as crazy as one of the protestors throwing down their horrible sign that says, “God hates you!” and becoming an associate pastor at our church.

It’s wildly illogical, unless …God is crazy about redemption.

Unless God delights in showing you how radically an experience with him can change a person.

Unless nothing is impossible with him.

That’s the God I serve.

And thanks to Brandon, it’s the God I’ll see next time I see a protestor.

7 things the Christian iPad needs.

Sometimes a Christian product is released that demands a response on SCL.

Such is the case with the “Edifi,” the first “Christian Tablet.” (If you’re reading this post on an iPad or Nook, I bet your hands are burning right now holding that devil fire tablet.)

I feel like the SCL bat signal has been lit by my friends on Twitter, and I need to respond.

But here’s the thing, I don’t have a whole lot of room to stand on in the whole “Create something original, not a Christian rip off!” conversation.

The reality is that Stuff Christians Like was developed in response to Stuff White People Like.

So I never feel great about telling someone, “How dare you not be original!” But I am more than happy to point out a few design features that any Christian Tablet must have.

7 Things I’d Add to a Christian Tablet

1. Touched by an Angel Screen Technology

Forget touchscreen technology. That’s so 2004 and so heathen. Every time you touch the Christian Tablet an angel gets its wings.

2. Jesus Juke Siri

Instead of regular Siri, the Christian table would have Jesus Juke recognition software. If a friend tried to Juke you, it would analyze the Juke and immediately yell “JUKE! JUKE!”

3. Eyes of My Heart Retina Display

Forget just singing, “Open the eyes of my heart Lord.” What if you could open your new tablet and enjoy a crisp “eyes of my heart retina display?” (I don’t know what that would look like, but it already sounds wonderfully and fearfully made.)

4. Ark box case

I love my otterbox case, but if we have to Christian this thing up, let’s get wooden cases carved out of small Noah’s arks. Dove feathers are optional. Olive branch is not.

5. Longer lasting battery

Not exactly faith based, but this is the feature I personally pray the most about when it comes to my iPhone.

6. Built in “Precious Moments photo filter”

Have you ever wished you could easily add those chubby little precious angel figurines to your iPad photos? No? Well too bad, the Christian Tablet is going to do that for you automatically.

7. Pillar of Cloud Storage

You think Apple was the first one to use clouds to accomplish awesome things? Think again. God was using a pillar of cloud to guide the Israelites long ago.

At the end of the day, I don’t have anything negative to say about the Edifi. The greeting card companies that are refusing to publish the Stuff Christians Like greeting cards? That’s a whole different story. (Imagine a “Casserole of Hope” greeting card? It’d be amazing!)

Question:

What feature would you add to the Christian tablet?

Wishing your church bulletin explained the worship leader’s tattoos.

In addition to sermon notes and the dates of VBS and other church miscellany, could the bulletin please explain the origin of each worship leader’s tattoos?

Is that too much to ask for?

It doesn’t have to be a color chart with a fold out. It’d be nice, but let’s not get too demanding.

I’m talking about an insert, depending on who is leading worship that week, that says something like this:

Wrist tattoo: Hebrew for “Wandering heart.”

Bicep: Cityscape with light indicating that we are supposed to be a city on a hill.

Forearm: Guitar and pitchfork representing the early Americana music that farmers used to make in parts of southeastern Kentucky.

Knuckles: Mistake made during Spring Break in Panama City. Mustache tattoos on fingers were hilarious that year. Don’t stare.

I love my friend Carlos Whittaker’s tattoo because I know the story behind it. It’s a painting of the conversation of Paul. It’s absolutely amazing, but when I don’t know the story, I start to make up stuff in my head.

Especially if the tattoo is a series of words. Have you ever tried to read someone’s paragraph long tattoo from afar? It’s a pretty awkward experience. You can’t increase the font size and people are weird if you walk up to them after church and say, “Do you mind holding your arm at this angle so that I can read it? Thanks!”

Am I the only one who has thought this?

Have you ever been in church and thought, “I wonder what that worship leader’s tattoo means?”

False Humility

John Eagan was a high school teacher in Milwaukee. After his death, they published his journals. Brennan Manning quotes the introduction from the journal in his book, Abba’s Child. I thought it was pretty amazing and worth sharing:

“We judge ourselves unworthy servants, and that judgment becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. We deem ourselves too inconsiderable to be used even by a God capable of miracles with no more than mud and spit. And thus our false humility shackles an otherwise omnipotent God.”

I love that line, “We deem ourselves too inconsiderable to be used even by a God capable of miracles with no more than mud and spit.”

The next time the enemy tells you that God could never use your life in his story, remind yourself what he accomplished with mud and spit.

Parking Teams That Rival Aircraft Carrier Flight Crews

(It’s guest post Friday!  Here’s one by Ky Palmer. You can check out Ky’s blog here and follow on Twitter @KyPalmer.  If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here’s how!)

Parking Teams That Rival Aircraft Carrier Flight Crews

I wasn’t with the hordes of young people who watched Top Gun, went and bought a pair of aviators, and joined the Air Force. Flying planes  didn’t interest me, but the high powered glow sticks that the aircraft marshals carry were too cool to pass up. So I joined the team that every church-going, Junior High boy with too much energy for his own good ends up on: the vehicle marshals.

Being a vehicle marshal (AKA parking team member) is one of the most prestigious jobs you could have on a Sunday morning (slightly below greeter ninjas). But the marshals don’t live by standard protocol. A good parking team operates like the flight deck crew of an aircraft carrier to keep church members from hating each other. But how do you compete with all of the Tom Cruise fanboys to score a spot on this team?

There are 5 possible positions you can gun for, each with a specific skill-set:

1.  The landing/take-off signaler.

You’ve got to have the “reverse power-strum” down. Plant your feet in a wide stance in a very visible location. Now point in the direction you want the cars to go and swing your other arm in a continuous full-circle. This move gets its name from the scene in “School of Rock” where Jack Black teaches the insecure kid how to really rip on the guitar. You’ll need it if you’re going to quickly direct cars through a mega-church parking lot.

2.  The tower.

You’ve got to spot visitors and elderly people so that you can send them to the right parking spot or send the golf cart guy to pick them up. If you mess up, people will surely leave the church thinking you steal the visitor parking for personal use.

3.  The radio man.

I went to a conference where the entire staff had those cool in ear radios that police officers wear. You should get one of these to keep in touch with the tower. “What’s that? Incoming visitor? No problem, I’ve got a basket of skittles ready for them. Over.” Be sure that you know proper radio etiquette before you take this job. If you leave your crew hanging without an “over” your career is “over and out.”

4.  The ground man.

You’ll direct lines of traffic just like you would planes getting ready to park or take off. If you need to stop a line of traffic, just make sure you shout, “You shall not pass,” rather than casting the “Immobulusas” spell. Christians are very fond of Lord of the Rings, not so much of Harry Potter.

5.  Golf cart guy. 

The equivalent of the guy who brings a ladder for the pilot.  If your church has a large parking lot, you send in the golf cart.  You’ll get orders from the tower when he spots a senior citizen or baby-toting family and you move in.

What positions does your church have to deal with the universal “Church Parking Lot Issue?”

(For more great writing fromn Ky, check out his blog.)

When Somebody Pickets Your Church

Turns out that this Sunday somebody is going to be picketing the church I attend. I spoke there last weekend, so this makes perfect sense to me. My message was on fire, and they’re huge fans of talking about hell and who is going there and fire.

My pastor, Pete Wilson, made a great video called “Grace to the Grace Killers” about how we should respond as a church to the picketing.

I’m pretty tempted to make my own sign, though. I’m tempted to Jesus Juke the whole gang of protestors. And I can’t take credit for this idea, someone sent it to me on Twitter. But, if I didn’t have a mature wife, this is what I would be holding on Sunday morning in front of my church and the protestors:

Question:

How would you respond to people who picketed your church?

 

When Westboro Baptist Pickets Your Church

Turns out that this Sunday Westboro Baptist is going to be picketing the church I attend. I spoke there last weekend so this makes perfect sense to me. My message was on fire and they’re huge fans of talking about hell and who is going there and fire.

My pastor, Pete Wilson, made a great video called “Grace to the Grace Killers” about how we should respond as a church to the picketing.

I’m pretty tempted to make my own sign though. I’m tempted to Jesus Juke the whole gang of protestors. And I can’t take credit for this idea, someone sent it to me on Twitter. But, if I didn’t have a mature wife, this is what I would be holding on Sunday morning in front of my church and the protestors:

Question:

How would you respond to Westboro Baptist Church?

 

I want destiny, not a desert.

We tend to romanticize the idea of “being called” by God.

We imagine an adventure involving a machete, a rope bridge and a country with a lot of vowels in the name. It will be tough, but at the end of the day we’ll be so firmly planted in God’s will that even the hardest parts of the journey will be kind of magical.

And then you answer a call from God and it doesn’t go that way.

In fact, it goes the opposite of that way.

You find yourself not in the middle of a destiny, but in the middle of a desert.

Our first temptation is to think we have failed. Surely, other people who are more plugged into God’s will aren’t in the desert. Maybe it’s our problem. Maybe everybody else has the answer except for us. Who steps out in faith and immediately lands in the desert? What kind of crazytown failure is that?

But then I read Mark 1:9-13.

Here’s what it says:

At that time Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. As Jesus was coming up out of the water, he saw heaven being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove.

Wow, is there a more perfect start to a mission for God? A dove landed on him from heaven. (Please insert your own “This is what it sounds like when doves cry” joke here.)

And a voice came from heaven: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” 


Is there any question that God is in this adventure? He speaks from heaven! Cue amazing road trip song. (Probably something by Florence + The Machine.) Next scene should be Jesus walking down a road surrounded by friends. Go for it!

So what happens next?

At once the Spirit sent him out into the desert, and he was in the desert forty days, being tempted by Satan. He was with the wild animals, and angels attended him.

At once? Seriously? No delay, no pause, no catch your breath here we go? At once, Jesus is sent to the desert. To be tempted by Satan. For 40 days. And then I love how it ends casually, like that’s a normal thing, “He was with the wild animals, and angels attended him.” Oh, is that all? OK.

The desert wasn’t an eventual stop on this adventure, it was the first stop.

It was where Christ went immediately. So if you feel like you’re stepping into a calling God’s put on your heart, and find yourself in a desert you didn’t expect, don’t assume you’ve failed. Assume you’re following in Christ’s footsteps.