Jon Acuff's Blog, page 127

The trade we all forget to make.

"Are you going to be an author who speaks or a speaker who writes?"

Someone asked me that question the other day and the truth is, I'm not sure.

These have been three of the weirdest years of my life and people keep asking me things like that.

And right now, I feel like everyone on the planet has a plan for their life except me. Have you ever felt that way?

I look at other Christians and, in my head, I imagine that they've got a perfect ten-year plan. They've got some well defined vision and know exactly what they're going to work on for the next year. They've got emotional, financial, spiritual and physical goals and are simply checking them off one by one as they march confidently into the land of awesome. They all know what they want to be when they grow up, and they are currently doing exactly that.

Me? I can't seem to get my hands around a plan. I want to. I've got a few steps laid out, but they are floaty and soft and not at all structured with the level of detail the guy in the show Prison Break had. He had tattoos that outlined his plan perfectly. Me? I'm like the guy in Memento, scrawling messages in sharpie like "Write a new book. Be a better dad. Make sure your wife knows you love her. Work on your core."

Now clearly the core's not an issue. I do a lot of medicine ball exercises and push this weighted sled at the gym that I'm almost positive Satan himself handcrafted in the bowels of hell, but what about my plan?

Don't I need a plan for my life? A perfectly structured, flawlessly executed plan?

That's where I'm at, right this second, which is why I was caught off guard recently by the story of the prodigal son.

I've read that story a thousand times. I've blogged about it dozens of times. I wrote a draft of a book about it, but despite all of that, I saw something new in it last week. Here's what I bumped into:

The prodigal son had to trade in his plan to get the party.

After wasting his inheritance and essentially telling his father he wished he was dead, he came home to the farm. And he did not return empty handed. He was carrying his plan. He crafted it carefully when he "came to his senses." He filled his hands and his heart and his mouth with that plan.

On the road, his father ran to him. The son tried to pay his way back onto the farm with his plan. He thought that was the price of admission. The plan was what would bring him back to life. He was wrong.

His father met him and wouldn't even let him say the entire plan out loud. The son didn't even get to outline the whole plan. His father, God, cut him off. There was a party to discuss. And in that moment, the son had a choice, continue with his plan, or drop it to the ground, there in the road and open his hands.

He chose the party over the plan.

Into those empty hands, the father placed his ring.

Into those empty arms, the father placed his best robe.

Into that empty heart, the father placed his love.

I don't know where you are on that road. Maybe life has fallen apart and you're in the midst of a divorce and a new plan for a new you feels so appealing. Maybe you're unemployed, and you feel like if you could just figure out the perfect plan, life would get back on track. Maybe you're single and, while that's fine for everyone else, for you that was never part of the plan. And a better plan would get you where you need to go.

I don't know what's in your hands right now, but I do know one thing.

I know what God wants to put into them.

His ring. His robe. His love.

Am I going to be an author who speaks or a speaker who writes? I'm not sure. This has unexpectedly become a season of letting go for me.

So that's what I'm doing.

I'm going to trade in my plan for a party, which I think is always a deal worth making.

How about you?

SCLQ – Christian Hipster How To

We've talked about Deep V-Necks.

We've talked about TOMS.

We've talked about Metrosexual Worship Leaders.

We've talked about unnecessary scarves (which is when you wear a scarf with a short sleeve shirt.)

We've talked about getting a Hebrew tattoo.

We've talked about reading the Bible on your iPhone.

But, we never put them together in one comprehensive, helpful "Christian Hipster How To" video. Until today. Someone recently sent me a link to a video that some guys called "Soul Punch Productions" put together. I thought it was funny, especially the part about the faux hawk.

 

 

Trying to figure out if a business is "Christian."

I don't know about you, but I've tried to squeeze out the last drops of summer these last few weeks. Although fall is by far my favorite season, there's a part of me that is hesitant to admit summer is coming to a close.

So we ate lots of popsicles.

We stayed up late, as if Tuesday is just a Tuesday and not a "school night."

And we went to the neighborhood pool as often as we could before it closed on Labor Day.

That's why, for two weeks, I rode my bike to the pool with my two daughters.

L.E. (my 8 year old) rode her own bike. And McRae rode on the tagalong. A tagalong is a single wheel that attaches to the back of an adult bike. McRae loves riding it, but she was too tired to ride it home after the pool. So she rode with my wife in the car, and I pedaled home by myself, with no one on the tagalong, which made me look like the worst dad in the world.

Did my kid fall off and I didn't notice? Am I just some creepy guy who rides around the neighborhood with an extra seat attached to his bike? Have I stolen the bike from another father who rode it to the pool with his kid? I don't come out looking great in any of those options. And when I tried to tweet about it, that didn't work out so well either. Here's what I tweeted:

"Rode bike back home from pool. My 5yo is getting a ride in car. I had a tagalog & no kid. Looked like most forgetful dad ever"

Instead of "Tagalong," I wrote, "Tagalog," which is the national language of the Philippines. Immediately people started tweeting me and saying, "Were you riding around the neighborhood with the official language of the Philipines or an actual Filipino?"

It was all very confusing and shouldn't have happened, especially since I just spent some significant time around "tagalongs."

About a month ago our family rented bikes to ride down the Virginia Creeper Trail, a converted railroad path that covers 17 miles. We rented our bikes and two tagalongs from a great place that happened to be a Christian business. How did I know they were a Christian business?

Here's their sign:

 

Easy to tell right?

Do you see how I was able to scrappy doo that one? But how do you know if the business you're dealing with is a Christian business? What are the tell tale signs? Allow me to enlighten you:

Signs you're dealing with a Christian business:

1. There are clues in their logo.

Look for a fish or a cross or a globe sitting on top of an open Bible or a dove or any other myriad of "We're down with the king" symbols.

2. They don't say "business is booming," they say, "We've been really blessed."

3. They ask you where you go to church.

Growing up in New England, if someone asked me where I went to church, it was customary for me to then leg sweep them a la the Cobra Kai. In the south, and particularly inside a Christian business, people will ask you that question.

4. There is a story behind their name.

One of my absolute favorite places in Franklin, TN is a smoothie place called "9 Fruits." If you ask them what the story is behind their name, they'll tell you. Most Christian businesses have a back story to their name.

5. They don't have mints on the counter.

They have Testamints, which is a dead giveaway. (And come on Testamints, quit hating on my slogan, "Testamints: Sending bad breath to hell.")

And when I find out you're a Christian business, here are a few of my expectations.

1. It better be the best service I have ever received.

Back in the day, if someone told me, "That's a Christian business," my first thought was, "So it's going to be a bad experience that somehow gets justified by the fall of Adam and we all need grace and forgiveness? Great." Now though, there are some amazing businesses that recognize that if you throw God's name into the mix, you better bring it.

2. It better not be a sales technique.

Putting a Jesus fish on your business card doesn't make you a Christian business. It makes you a guy that put a Jesus fish of your business card. Hopefully you're not using a faith logo just to bring in new business. (I have to assume this is an issue primarily in the south.)

3. I'm going to want to let you know I'm a Christian too.

When we rented our bikes from that store, I really felt compelled to tell them I was a Christian too. When he was saying, "OK, make sure that the tagalong is properly hooked on to the back of your bike so that it doesn't slip while you're on the trail," I wanted to say, "You know what will never slip? Jesus' love for me, which I got. P.S. I'm a Christian too!"

Hopefully, these two lists will make it easy for you to both spot and interact with a Christian business. But maybe this is strictly a southern thing and maybe you're in Portland, Oregon right now thinking, "There's no such thing as a Christian business. Christian is a noun not an adjective. This is the stupidest post ever, I'm going to go listen to the Fleet Foxes." Hard to say, really.

Question:

Have you ever seen a "Christian business?"

SCLQ – God at the Movies.

A few months ago, I ran into my friend Ben Arment at the 99% conference. I said to him, "I wish someone would do a really high quality movie about the life of David. It's an unbelievable story, and I'm waiting for someone to tell it in a film with unbelievable creativity." I don't know if those were my exact words, because I write better than I talk. I probably said, "Me want David movie. Would be so awesome. Yeah!" But that was the gist of our conversation.

Ben laughed and then said, "Are you kidding me? That's the project I'm working on right now." It turns out that Ben and Santino Stoner from Nooma, are producing a movie about David & Goliath. And they're doing it in an incredibly creative way with the goal of having one thousand premieres. Visit the site to learn more.

But the question I have for you is pretty simple:

What story in the Bible would you like to see told in film?

I think the story of David will make a phenomenal film. What's another story or a parable or even a verse that you think begs to be shared via the medium of film?

"It sucks." (My favorite review of Quitter.)

Last night, my wife saw a review of my book Quitter on Amazon. Upon reading it, she immediately said, "You need to post this."

I read it. She was right.

I don't know the girl who wrote it, but if I ever have the chance to meet her, I will thank her tremendously for her honesty. What inspired her to say, "It sucks?" I'll let her tell you in her own words:

I feel like a jerk telling you to read this book. I loved reading it but hated the implications. Jon Acuff cuts right through all the crappy excuses that we put between us and our dreams. This book haunts me a month after I finished it. I can't fritter away time on the internet anymore with a clear conscience. I wake up earlier so I can take time to write and focus my thoughts for the day. I find myself trying harder and doing more work at work. It sucks. I miss my life as a slacker.

Acuff writes from his own experiences not in a show off way but in a clever way that gives him credibility. I laughed and cried a little, but in a cool way, not an overly emotional wreck kind of way. Acuff is ridiculously likable which is probably best for him because if I didn't like him, I might try to kick him in the shins for suggesting that a work ethic in your current job will help you prepare for your future dream job.

If you're taking time to read this review, you obviously have time to read something more substantial like a book. Go ahead and buy Quitter. Read it yourself. Give it to your whiny friends who can't figure out why they're not living their dreams. Call your brother or sister and read it to them over the phone. Give it to your kid in the basement who thinks it's normal to live with parents 10 years after graduating from college. You could also do what I did and give this book away with a break up note to your boyfriend, gently implying the relationship is doomed because he won't put away the X Box and become a grownup. So yeah, buy Quitter once, buy it twice, buy an entire case of books. I know you know people who should read it. My guess is you might be one of them, too.

Christianizing Reality TV Shows

(It's guest post Friday, and Some Guy is back with another great post!  If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here's how.)

Christianizing Reality TV Shows by Some Guy

The idea that inspired Jon to start SCL was that Christians like making Christian versions of secular things.  We have done great in music and are making progress in the film industry, but we have been neglecting television.

I know we have some television stations and channels that carry preaching, dramas, or discussion panels.  Those are fine and all, but that's not keeping up with what's popular in the world right now: reality TV.

Reality shows are here to stay, it seems.  Rather than fighting the trend, Christians must embrace it. Here are 5 shows I think we could give the ole' Christian remix:

1. American One True God

No idolatry in this singing competition.  This show is moderated by three judge-nots, who offer only encouragement.  The pool of contestants is narrowed each week by separating them into sheep and goat categories.

2. I'm in It to Win It

This reality show pits a contestant against the clock.  Each challenge must be completed within 60 seconds, with the challenges becoming progressively harder.

The challenges include:

* Cup Stack: build a pyramid using 36 communion cups.  The cups are full, and any spill disqualifies you.

* Tithe Drop: you must drop tithe envelopes from a 6-foot ladder and get them to land in an offering plate

* Pencil Basketball: you must toss pew pencils so that they go through the communion cup holders two pews in front of you.

3. The Amazing Grace

Couples compete against other couples to reach the destination, while deciphering hints as to what that destination is.  Contestants receive time penalties for every harsh word, unkind deed, or insult.

4. Heaven's Kitchen

The friendly chef who runs this show is encouraging to each contestant, offering helpful advice on food preparation and presentation.  All the food is delicious, and there are no losers.

5. America's Got Talents

Contestants get 1 talent, then 5 talents, then 10 talents to invest.  They are free to invest them however they want, but when the show's host returns (at random intervals, to surprise the contestants) he will see who has made the most money.  The top two places keep their earnings, and they each get a "well done, thou good and faithful servant" trophy.

Question:

What reality show would you "Christianize?"

(Some Guy is an engineer from Michigan.  Check out his blog here!)

 

SCLQ – Improbable Philanthropy

I first met Al Andrews when I was in kindergarten. He went to college with my dad and so I grew up knowing him as a hilarious family friend. Then, last year when we moved to Franklin, TN I met him again. He runs a non-profit counseling center called "Porter's Call" for musicians and their families because Nashville tends to chew those people up. He and I meet every two or three weeks right now to talk about art and life and how you can get successful without wrecking both.

Recently he launched something called "Improbable Philanthropy." Basically Al decided he wanted to be a philanthropist and give away a ton of money. Then he realized that required having a ton of money, which he doesn't have. So, after learning Eric Carle sold 29 million copies of the Hungry Caterpillar, he came up with a 6-step plan:

1. Write a children's book.

2. Find an illustrator.

3. Self publish.

4. Get on Ellen and other talk shows.

5. Sell a truckload of books.

6. Become a philanthropist.

And he's actually doing it! "The Boy, The Kite & The Wind" released last week and it is beautiful. The funny thing is that people keep asking Al, "What's your angle?" But there's not one. He's giving 100% of the net profits away. He's using the money to give scholarships to Ugandan school children and build child survival centers in India and a lot of other cool things.

I bought 11 copies of the book. I've never bought that many copies of a book. Why did I do it? Because I love what Al is doing and I love when people find creative ways to change the world.

You can buy a book right here.

 

 

SCLQ – Can you Spotify friends?

Last week my friend's band, Selah, released a new album. The morning it released, I told my wife, "I'm going to get Todd's new album. I mean really get it. I'm going to buy it on iTunes, not just Spotify it."

What's Spotify? It's hard to describe, but its basically a music subscription service that, for $9.99, allows you to listen to virtually every song ever made. And you can put them on your computer and your iPhone and listen to them when you're offline. And it's legal. And I'm almost positive I'd be stealing from my friend Todd.

You can't Spotify friends, right? Or Rdio them. Or bootleg them. Right?

Can we get some sort of ruling on that? Is that covered in the Bible anywhere? When Elisha and Elijah released their album "!Double E!" did they get into a scrap with Ahab and Jezebel over distribution rights?

Anyone?

Can you Spotify friends?

Redeeming culture.

Note to self:

If you write a tweet about Lil' Wayne and that tweet gets retweeted so many times that it ends up on the homepage of Twitter, Lil' Wayne fans will do virtual drive by's on you.

Lesson learned.

I had Lil' Wayne on my mind because recently, I wrote about "Things I shouldn't even know exist." I included a list of pop culture items I enjoy, but probably shouldn't be spending a whole lot of time/head space with. Things like the show "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," or Lil' Wayne's music.

Do you know what my favorite type of response to that post was?

"How else are we supposed to redeem culture?"

The idea is that, as Christians, we're called to redeem culture and renew it and reclaim it and "re" it somehow. And I think that's a beautiful idea and that there are certainly individuals and groups that are doing that in some amazing ways. But the idea of "redeeming culture" can also be a fantastical excuse to justify your actions.

At some point, I have to stop saying, "I'm watching 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia' so that I can redeem culture or be relevant to this generation," and start saying, "I'm watching it because it's funny."

Let's be honest: How's my personal campaign to redeem culture by watching a television show in my living room going? Can you feel the groundswell that is emanating from my couch, just a movement that will forever redeem culture? Yeah, me neither.

And unless I'm yelling Bible verses toward the stage while I'm at a Lil' Wayne concert, I'm not sure I'm redeeming that experience. Maybe when he gets back to the green room at the end of the show, Lil' Wayne says to his crew, "Did you get the sense that there was a Christian in the crowd, redeeming the concert, cause I definitely picked up on that vibe." Maybe that's happening, but I have my doubts.

So how do we redeem culture? I don't know, but I do know 3 things:

1. You're not redeeming the show "True Blood" from your living room. Stop saying that. That is a ridiculous excuse for both you and I.

2. This subject is fraught with judgmental landmines.

3. Maybe it's not just about renewing. Maybe it's also about reaching.

Did you ever see the video where renowned Atheist Penn (of Penn & Teller) is given a Bible? To me, it's one of the best examples of someone reaching out to pop culture. And it was surprisingly simple. Here it is:

Question:

How do we as Christians redeem culture?

SCLQ – The friend who wants to fight about theology on Twitter.

Stop.

It's enough.

Before Twitter existed, did you ever go to a Chinese restaurant, take out the tiny slips of paper from the fortune cookies and use them to write down your thoughts on Premillennial Dispensationalism or Arminianism?

Of course not. That would have been ridiculous.

So is arguing detailed points of theology on a 140-character medium instead of face to face.

We need to discuss theology, we need to dialog about it, but when it comes to Twitter, don't be surprised when small arguments on a small medium lead to a big waste of time.