Hank Quense's Blog: Hank Quense's Blog, page 84
March 14, 2011
FNN Sports Report: NFL Breaking News
[image error]
Our sports reporter, Jock Stapper filed this exclusive report:
Tike Barber, the retired NY Giant running back who is attempting a comeback, and Plaxico Burris, the NY Giant wide receiver who is expected to get out prison shortly, have joined forces. Burris has been serving two years for carrying a concealed weapon and shooting himself in the leg. Their agents issued a press release today stating that the two players will not sign with a team unless the deal includes both players. They are looking for contracts with no-cut clauses that will pay them each six million a year for three years with half of the money up front.
At a press conference, Barber said, "This is the type of deal that can change a team's entire offense. Both of us are all-pro players and we can drive a defense crazy. We could go onto a losing team and instantly turn it into a mediocre one.
"In addition, with my TV experience, I'll be able to give great post game interviews and can immediately upgrade the team's media presence. Plaxico will also be great locker room presence. If a teammate gets in trouble with the law and faces jail time, Plaxico can advise the guy how to prepare himself for doing hard time. Our deal is unique and this type of valuable off-field experience isn't offered by other free agents."
Burris, in a statement issued through his warden said, "Teams need to know that I've learned my lesson. I ain't gonna ever again pack a loaded piece with the safety off."
Blog this on Blogger
Subscribe to the comments for this post?
Share this on del.icio.us
Digg this!
Post this on Diigo
Clip this to Evernote
Share this on Facebook
Email this via Gmail
Post on Google Buzz
Add this to Google Reader
Share this on LinkedIn
Add this to Mister Wong
Share this on Mixx
Post this to MySpace
Add this to Ning
Share this on Reddit
Stumble upon something good? Share it on StumbleUpon
Share this on Technorati
Tweet This!
March 13, 2011
Trying to Sell your books? Get Buzz
Self-publishing and self marketing are tough gigs. In my efforts to do the marketing, I put together a mind map (also called a bubble chart) to help organize my thoughts. I believe this will help others so I pasted it below. It isn't complete, I know that and I add to it when I find something else If you want a .pdf copy send me an email and I'll attach it to a return email
[image error]
Blog this on Blogger
Subscribe to the comments for this post?
Share this on del.icio.us
Digg this!
Post this on Diigo
Clip this to Evernote
Share this on Facebook
Email this via Gmail
Post on Google Buzz
Add this to Google Reader
Share this on LinkedIn
Add this to Mister Wong
Share this on Mixx
Post this to MySpace
Add this to Ning
Share this on Reddit
Stumble upon something good? Share it on StumbleUpon
Share this on Technorati
Tweet This!
March 12, 2011
Zaftan Entrepreneurs Trailer
Here it is! The "official" trailer for Zaftan Entrepreneurs. Watch it on Youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_LAvXuxfOs
[image error]
Blog this on Blogger
Subscribe to the comments for this post?
Share this on del.icio.us
Digg this!
Post this on Diigo
Clip this to Evernote
Share this on Facebook
Email this via Gmail
Post on Google Buzz
Add this to Google Reader
Share this on LinkedIn
Add this to Mister Wong
Share this on Mixx
Post this to MySpace
Add this to Ning
Share this on Reddit
Stumble upon something good? Share it on StumbleUpon
Share this on Technorati
Tweet This!
March 9, 2011
Williamsburg & EPICON
I'm leaving in the morning (3/10) to drive to Williamsburg VA to attend the EPIC convention over the weekend. I'm hoping my collection of humorous short stories and novellas will win an Eppie as the best anthology of the year. I'll also be tweeting about the convention: the hashtag I'll be using is #epiconHQ. Check it out.
[image error]
Blog this on Blogger
Subscribe to the comments for this post?
Share this on del.icio.us
Digg this!
Post this on Diigo
Clip this to Evernote
Share this on Facebook
Email this via Gmail
Post on Google Buzz
Add this to Google Reader
Share this on LinkedIn
Add this to Mister Wong
Share this on Mixx
Post this to MySpace
Add this to Ning
Share this on Reddit
Stumble upon something good? Share it on StumbleUpon
Share this on Technorati
Tweet This!
March 6, 2011
Read an Ebook Week
I'm participating in International Read an Ebook Week by offering 25% discounts on three of my books published by Smashwords. The books are Tales From Gundarland, Zaftan Entrepreneurs and Build a Better Story. On Smashwords, click on the title and you'll go to a page that has a discount coupon to use while checking out. It's that simple. The discounts are available from 3/6 to 3/12.
=================
Laughter is like free health insurance: you can't get too much of it. This book will give you enough laughs to[image error]boost your health.
It's filled with delightful entertainment. Without commercial interruption!
Gundarland is populated by humans, dwarfs, elves and other races; it's the backdrop for unique adventures, brilliant heroes and cunning villains.
There are six short stories and two novellas in here. All are new. You'll meet some of Shakespeare's most famous characters, a warrior-cook, vigilantes, a trio of beautiful, lusty princesses to mention just a few of the memorable characters in the stories.
===========================
Tired of reading scifi and fantasy stories that take themselves too seriously? Zaftan Entrepreneurs is a unique[image error]First Contact story; it is part adventure and part corporate and political satire spiced with comic relief.
Here, you'll find nasty, snarly aliens, fantasy creatures, humans, romance, magic, and–just like the real world–incompetent politicians and feuding bureaucracies. What more could a fantasy/scifi reader ask for?
Aliens, fantasy creatures and humans in one story? They don't mix very well. Neither do untrustworthy aliens and deceitful government bureaucrats.
======================
Have a story that needs to be told? Here's the best way to go about doing it.[image error]
The book describes a process that eases the work involved in developing a story. This reduces the time spent in reworking flawed and imperfect drafts. Following the process allows more time to be spent on the creative activities and shortens the time spent on less creative work.
Besides the process, this book takes a unique approach to character building and plotting. It identifies problem areas that inexperienced writers struggle with and explains how to address those problems including character motivation and scene design.
Blog this on Blogger
Subscribe to the comments for this post?
Share this on del.icio.us
Digg this!
Post this on Diigo
Clip this to Evernote
Share this on Facebook
Email this via Gmail
Post on Google Buzz
Add this to Google Reader
Share this on LinkedIn
Add this to Mister Wong
Share this on Mixx
Post this to MySpace
Add this to Ning
Share this on Reddit
Stumble upon something good? Share it on StumbleUpon
Share this on Technorati
Tweet This!
March 5, 2011
Status on my latest Shakespearean Assault
I've finished the second draft of Shakespeare's worst nightmare. I've taken the characters and the plot from Hamlet and Othello, transported them to Gundarland and turned these tragedies into comedies (and that ain't easy to do). It's now called Falstaff's Big Gamble.
Hamlet is a dwarf, the crown prince of Denmarko and he has family issues. His uncle killed Hamlet's father the king, usurped the throne and married his mother. Not only that, Hamlet's dead father is thoroughly pissed at the whole sordid affair.
Othello is a dark elf who used a trumped-up resume to get a high-ranking position in Dun Hythe, the country's biggest city. He soon realizes he is in over his head and doesn't have a clue how to solve the problems he faces.
Falstaff is a human and scam artist looking for fresh victims and finds both Hamlet and Othello are available.
Great fun.
It's almost time to look for first readers.
Blog this on Blogger
Subscribe to the comments for this post?
Share this on del.icio.us
Digg this!
Post this on Diigo
Clip this to Evernote
Share this on Facebook
Email this via Gmail
Post on Google Buzz
Add this to Google Reader
Share this on LinkedIn
Add this to Mister Wong
Share this on Mixx
Post this to MySpace
Add this to Ning
Share this on Reddit
Stumble upon something good? Share it on StumbleUpon
Share this on Technorati
Tweet This!
How to make an author's day
A reader on Goodreads posted this review about Zaftan Entrepreneurs this week:
"Zaftan Entrepreneurs is a great book. It was very funny and unlike any sci-fi book I've seen out there. It is full of Elf's, Yuk's, Dwarfs, Humans, Half- Pints, and giant oozing octopus's trying to take over a world. The characters are very likeable and realistic (in a fantasy kind of way). The author shows you the view points from[image error] both the good and bad sides. I thought it was super original and I was so happy that I added this book; it makes a great and welcome edition to my library. I am extremely excited about the second one though it is still so far away. I would recommend this to anyone who wants a good laugh and a great/ fast sci-fi read" — Travis-5 stars
I can't ask for better comments than this.
Blog this on Blogger
Subscribe to the comments for this post?
Share this on del.icio.us
Digg this!
Post this on Diigo
Clip this to Evernote
Share this on Facebook
Email this via Gmail
Post on Google Buzz
Add this to Google Reader
Share this on LinkedIn
Add this to Mister Wong
Share this on Mixx
Post this to MySpace
Add this to Ning
Share this on Reddit
Stumble upon something good? Share it on StumbleUpon
Share this on Technorati
Tweet This!
March 3, 2011
Newsletter
I had a busy month in February. Here are some details.
My tongue-in-cheek article, How to Write Really Bad Fiction and Enjoy the Benefits of Rapid Rejection will be published by Writing-World.com in March.
Over the course of writing many short stories, novellas and novels, I've developed two different worlds for my characters to romp around in. One is Gundarland, a place inhabited by humans, dwarfs, elves and other races. The second is Zaftan 31B, the home planet of a vicious race of aliens. I put together a small book detailing the background of both places. It's called The Strange Worlds of Hank Quense and it's free. You can download a copy at Smashwords.
Two of my favorite short stories, MacBeth: the Sequel and Lucy in Love are available as individual downloads from Smashwords. In MacBeth, I take Shakespeare's walk-on characters, the Wyrd Sisters and turn them into stars. In Lucy, Lucretia Borgia and her father Pope Alexander VI are set back to earth on a mission from Satan.
My blog is now available from Kindle. It will automatically download into a kindle so you can get my latest rants, news and book reviews. It's also the only place you can get the Faux News Network reports.
I'm halfway through the second draft of my newest assault on Shakespeare's reputation: Falstaff's Big Gamble. It combines the plots of Hamlet and Othello, transports them to Gundarland and turns the tragedies into comedy. Hamlet is a dwarf prince with family issues and Othello is dark elf with a trumped up resume. Falstaff, a human, is a scam artist who cons both of them.
Until next month
Help me out here. What do I call this newsletter? It covers my February activity but I published it in March. So, is it the February newsletter or the March newsletter?
What do you think?
Blog this on Blogger
Subscribe to the comments for this post?
Share this on del.icio.us
Digg this!
Post this on Diigo
Clip this to Evernote
Share this on Facebook
Email this via Gmail
Post on Google Buzz
Add this to Google Reader
Share this on LinkedIn
Add this to Mister Wong
Share this on Mixx
Post this to MySpace
Add this to Ning
Share this on Reddit
Stumble upon something good? Share it on StumbleUpon
Share this on Technorati
Tweet This!
February 27, 2011
New TV crime show revealed!
[image error]
Entertainment reporter Mia Diversion reports that rumors are flying about a new show to filmed on location in Hoboken, New Jersey, the small city across the Hudson River from mid-town Manhattan. Many will recall the Marlon Brando movie On the Waterfront which was filmed in Hoboken and the new show will attempt to recreate that gritty atmosphere. The show's name is Hoboken Police Files.
Unlike the dozens of similar cops and lawyers shows now on TV, this one will be different. It will reopen and attempt to solve cases from long ago. The scenes depicting the crimes taking place will be shown in black and white to emphasize their old age. The lead actors have been designated but their contracts are being negotiated and so, their names can't be released.
In another break with traditional cop shows, this one will have a talent portion included. Every week, a resident from Hoboken will try to win fame and money by auditioning their talent. In the first contest, four residents — one per week — will sing Gregorian chant. In the following month, four more residents will play Beethoven on a kazoo.
Ms. Diversion has uncovered synopses for several of the approved shows:
Union corruption on the waterfront in the 1950's. Unknown local politicians protect union officials from Federal investigative. Who were the guilty parties?
A back room operation manufactures bootleg copies of Hoboken-born Frank Sinatra's long-playing 33 1/3 RPM records. Who was a behind this operation? How did the culprit get the master recordings? Was one of Sinatra's Ratpack betraying the crooner?
A bribery and political graft uncovers an ambitious plan to buy up more than half of the buildings in the small city during the early 1960's, bulldoze them and build a championship golf course.
The intrepid investigators force the Feds to open government files from the Cold War Era as they try to uncover the names and the country who tried to infect Hoboken's rat population with bubonic plague. Did local politicians help the unknown foreign power? Are vials of plague still in hiding in a basement someplace? Is the plague still viable?
Hoboken's annual stick ball tournament was rumored to be fixed by bookies in 1962. Did it happen? Which kids took money to throw the games? Or was it the umpires?
A possible script concerns a 1959 test rigging scandal at Stevens Institute, a top engineering school.
As of this moment, the show is scheduled to begin filming a pilot show as soon as advertisers sign on to the concept.
Mia will update this report as she uncovers additional information.
Blog this on Blogger
Subscribe to the comments for this post?
Share this on del.icio.us
Digg this!
Post this on Diigo
Clip this to Evernote
Share this on Facebook
Email this via Gmail
Post on Google Buzz
Add this to Google Reader
Share this on LinkedIn
Add this to Mister Wong
Share this on Mixx
Post this to MySpace
Add this to Ning
Share this on Reddit
Stumble upon something good? Share it on StumbleUpon
Share this on Technorati
Tweet This!
February 26, 2011
Dinosaur hunters by Homer Hickam
Hickam is one of my favorite authors and when I saw this new novel I scooped it up. It's a tale of an paleontologist named Dr Pickford shows up on a ranch in Montana asking permission to look for dinosaur bones. Once he is granted permission, his two assistants both ravishingly beautiful women join him. Before long, they discover valuable dinosaur remains and the skullduggery begins.
Unlike most murder mysteries, the murder in this one doesn't happen until well into the second half of the book. After the murder, there are a multitude of suspicious people in the area including a Russian mobster.. I enjoyed reading this novel until the ending.
The ending was a Deus ex Machina ending with the protag sitting on a mountaintop watching someone else solve his problem. In addition, the ending includes the murder of two women and the reason for their deaths is never explained.
Overall assessment: a disappointment. It's a great story with great characters through three quarters of the book then it falls apart.
Blog this on Blogger
Subscribe to the comments for this post?
Share this on del.icio.us
Digg this!
Clip this to Evernote
Share this on Facebook
Post on Google Buzz
Add this to Mister Wong
Share this on Mixx
Post this to MySpace
Add this to Ning
Share this on Reddit
Stumble upon something good? Share it on StumbleUpon
Share this on Technorati
Tweet This!
Hank Quense's Blog
- Hank Quense's profile
- 224 followers
