Marty Nemko's Blog, page 236

Honest Reactions After a Spouse's Death: A top psychotherapist reacts to the loss of his wife.

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapist (REBT) and friend Michael R. Edelstein has just lost his wife of 27 years.

I found his reactions to her death remarkable in their honesty and usually unspoken universality. Many people may have such feelings but aren’t honest enough to voice them, especially in the face of well-wishers’ conventional, perhaps dutiful words.

I asked Michael if he wouldn’t mind sharing those thoughts. As my PsychologyToday.com article today, I present what he said. 

When Willpower Isn't Enough

You know you shouldn’t procrastinate but you do.

You know you should be more (or less) assertive but you aren't.

You know you shouldn’t overeat. But you do.

There is such a gap between what we know we should do and actually do.

The most realistic answer is to accept your basic self. Increasingly, scientists are learning that lack of discipline is heavily in our genes. According to a recent metaevaluation, which synthesized the results of 31 studies, 60 percent of the variance in self-control is genetic.
While we may need to accept that we’re unlikely to transform from procrastinator to superproducer, meek to magisterial, overeater to mousy eater, we can, ahem, nibble around the edges. The key is to identify a realistic baby step. I offer some likely candidates in my PsychologyToday.com article today.

Resume Fixes

In my PsychologyToday.com article today, I describe the most common flaws in my clients' resumes and how you can avoid them.

Want to Change Your Life?: Potentially quick routes to turning around your life

Five years ago, I wrote on a similar topic: Realistic Sources of Hope, but its focus was on incremental, the proverbial baby steps.

Many people would at least like to consider if there might be an even quasi-possible approach to a quick, dramatic life turnaround, of the type promised to contestants on America’s Got Talent, Survivor, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, etc.

As usual and especially with such a huge challenge, there certainly no guarantees but my PsychologyToday.com article today offers my best shots at how to make a quick, dramatic life turnaround.

Abracadabra!: Conjuring the practical from watching magic

It would seem that magic is antithetical to practicality. Yet even practical me loves magic, both for entertainment but also some practicalities. I explain in my PsychologyToday.com article today.

Abracadabra!: Conjusting the practical from watching magic

It would seem that magic is antithetical to practicality. Yet even practical me loves magic, both for entertainment but also some practicalities. I explain in my PsychologyToday.com article today.

The Case for Chucking it All

I told a client, who is Director of Economic Development for a county about another client who decided to chuck it all and live an ultra-simple life. I tell about them and the case for chucking it all in my PsychologyToday.com article today.

The Know-it-All: Dealing with one, being one

My PsychologyToday.com article today attempts to explain why know-it-alls do what they do . . .and why they deserve more respect and kindness rather than the typical antipathy and even retribution.

Mindful Eating: An internview with Susan Albers

Fellow Psychology Today blogger, Susan Albers is a psychologist at the Cleveland Clinic who specializes in mindfulness and eating. Her new book is Hanger Management: Master Your Hunger and Improve Your Mood, Mind, and Relationships. 

In my Psychologytoday.com article today, I interview her.

A Promise is a Promise...Usually: An inventory of promises that too often are maybes

My PsychologyToday.com article today offers a list of promises that too often are really meant as maybes.