Marty Nemko's Blog, page 239

Marty Nemko plays piano at the Marsh Cabaret in Berkeley

I play beautiful old standards and show tunes on the piano this Weds at The Marsh: 2120 Allston Way, Berkeley. THIS Weds 7:30. I'm opening for a fun blues, jazz, and rock band: The Craig & McGregor Band. Would you believe, it's just $10 including a yummy buffet dinner?!

How Important is it to Live Ethically?

A previous post offered a self-assessment on how ethical you are.  Another post offered tips on identifying and living your principles.

But neither article addressed a foundational issue: How important is it to live ethically? Perhaps you’ll find your answer in a debate between a highly and a minimally ethical person. That's my PsychologyToday.com article today.

CONDITIONAL Self-Acceptance: Baby steps toward growth without beating yourself up

Unconditional self-acceptance means that we and perhaps our long-term romantic partner are wise to accept ourselves pretty-much as-is: We may want to tweak ourselves around the edges, but with regard to the big things, the watchword is acceptance.

But my PsychologyToday.com article today argues that a wiser goal is conditional self-acceptance.

Online Dating

"Attractive, professional SWF seeks similar SWM.” 

That sort of dating pitch squanders online dating’s biggest advantage: rigorous screening to find the best few matches from among millions. The game is not “S/he-with the most responses wins.” It’s “S/he who meets the right love wins.”

My PsychologyToday.com article today describes how to win that game.

Force Yourself, Yes, Force Yourself to Get Started on That Task

Conventional wisdom is that forcing yourself to do a task won't enduringly reduce procrastination. So the argument goes, you must address the underlying cause, perhaps fear of failure, or increase frustration tolerance. 

I used to try to help my clients using those two models but in recent years, I've have had more success with a simpler, baby-step approach. In my PsychologyToday.com article today, I outline that approach, including how I used it to make myself write that article. 

Your Child and College: Contrarian ideas

My PsychologyToday.com article today offers contrarian ideas I believe that most parents of high school students should consider. 

Your Child and Mind-Altering Substances

Substance abuse is among the most important parenting topics, and among the most ticklish.

Key preventers of abuse are parents’ role modeling and placing the child in schools, activities and with friends who are unlikely to be abusers.

But done well, one or more conversations with your child can also help I offer a sample dialogue as my PsychologyToday.com article today.

Your Child and Sex

Whether you want to be sexually liberal or conservative with your child, key is communicating your values while taking your child into consideration.
One way I might make this potentially difficult goal more doable is to offer sample dialogues.That's what I do in my PsychologyToday.com article today.

Your Child's Friends: Doables that encourage good friendships

Psychologist Judith Rich’s research found that peers influence children more even than parents do. Certainly, friends can influence your child, and you can boost the chances of that influence being positive. I offer doables in my PsychologyToday.com article today.

You and Your Child's Homework

Homework was probably first assigned the first time a teacher was frustrated that students weren’t learning enough, and that's probably when civilization began. 

Since then, legions of kids have pleaded, yelled, lied, done everything possible to avoid the dreaded task.

My PsychologyToday.com article today offers parents tips that work in the real world for getting your kid to do the dastardly deed without your pulling your hair out. As with all the articles in this series,  the focus is on what's realistic, what works in the real world, what I call doables.