Ceara Comeau's Blog: Lessons From A Struggling Writer, page 3
December 26, 2021
Choose You
Two years ago I made a promise to myself—a promise that I’d do everything I could to make my dreams of being a successful author come true. Whether it be financially, creatively, or even with marketing, I was determined. But, over the last few years, I broke that promise to myself without even realizing it.
See, I had this plan, one that I believed was foolproof. This plan was going to help me get to the top and accomplish all of my dreams. It wasn’t until the beginning of this month that I realized my genius plan became my entire focus. Now, I truly believed that I was still completely focused on my writing and my goals, and honestly, I had fooled myself. I allowed my original plan to dictate when I was going to “feel” creative and whatever the plan deemed most important in my life, I followed without question. Sounds scary, right? I didn’t realize how scary that was until I had a really good conversation with my sister.
I told her about my plan and how I had seen what it was doing to my daily life. She put a gentle hand on my arm and said, “You need to be kinder to yourself.” And for the rest of the month, I constantly thought about what she told me. At first, I argued internally, I thought I was being kind to myself, it was my original plan that was taking hold of my life. But, you see, I was letting it.
There’s something to be said about the power we naturally wield. That power is control, whether that be over ourselves or situations we get ourselves into. We have the power to say yes or no to things that come into our lives. And for me, I didn’t know how to say “no”. Which, is partly why this plan of mine took control. I was too afraid to say that word because I was too afraid that my plan would fall apart and I’d have to conjure up a new way to make my dreams come true. But that little two-letter word is the most important weapon in our arsenal. Because that reconfirms in our minds that we always have control.
So, as we ring in the new year, I want to challenge you to choose you. Focus on self-care. I’m not talking about going to the spa, binge-watching your favorite movie, or reading a book. I’m talking about focusing on your goals and dreams because that is a form of self-care. Make sure you don’t fall into the same trap that I did and make sure that whatever “plan” you may have stays only a plan.
See, I had this plan, one that I believed was foolproof. This plan was going to help me get to the top and accomplish all of my dreams. It wasn’t until the beginning of this month that I realized my genius plan became my entire focus. Now, I truly believed that I was still completely focused on my writing and my goals, and honestly, I had fooled myself. I allowed my original plan to dictate when I was going to “feel” creative and whatever the plan deemed most important in my life, I followed without question. Sounds scary, right? I didn’t realize how scary that was until I had a really good conversation with my sister.
I told her about my plan and how I had seen what it was doing to my daily life. She put a gentle hand on my arm and said, “You need to be kinder to yourself.” And for the rest of the month, I constantly thought about what she told me. At first, I argued internally, I thought I was being kind to myself, it was my original plan that was taking hold of my life. But, you see, I was letting it.
There’s something to be said about the power we naturally wield. That power is control, whether that be over ourselves or situations we get ourselves into. We have the power to say yes or no to things that come into our lives. And for me, I didn’t know how to say “no”. Which, is partly why this plan of mine took control. I was too afraid to say that word because I was too afraid that my plan would fall apart and I’d have to conjure up a new way to make my dreams come true. But that little two-letter word is the most important weapon in our arsenal. Because that reconfirms in our minds that we always have control.
So, as we ring in the new year, I want to challenge you to choose you. Focus on self-care. I’m not talking about going to the spa, binge-watching your favorite movie, or reading a book. I’m talking about focusing on your goals and dreams because that is a form of self-care. Make sure you don’t fall into the same trap that I did and make sure that whatever “plan” you may have stays only a plan.
November 29, 2021
Magical Writers
At some point, all of us have seen memes on Facebook that show magic coming from an open book. But, it’s a little bit misleading if you ask me. Books are certainly magic, that’s definitely true, but it’s honestly just the result. The true magic comes from the writer—whose raw imagination developed the literary worlds we fall in love with.
Unlike the magic from Harry Potter, writing magic doesn’t always come with just a flick of one’s wand. Writing comes with a lot of patience, practice, and listening to one’s inner voice. (Sorry, I couldn’t come up with another “p” word.)
So, how do you know if the magic of writing is REALLY working? When the story starts writing itself.
Let me give you an example from my latest writing project. For the last several months I’ve been working on the third book of my trilogy. Now, to be honest, I dreaded this book because of its level of difficulty. Half of this book is written from the perspective of the villain of the trilogy, which also happens to be the creation of the main villains of my entire universe. Now, this group of creatures is not something I’ve ever written about before. They are sociopathic biomechanical creatures. Or, as I like to put it…compare it to Dr. Who’s Cybermen, but with free will. Sounds scary, I know. But thinking from the perspective of a machine was super difficult for me. I remember trying to watch/read different movies and books that contained characters who were sociopathic and no matter how much I tried to research, I still couldn’t grasp the concept.
So, what do I do? Just start writing and hope for the best. The start of the book was insanely slow and brutal. In my mind, I knew what this main character was supposed to act like, but I just couldn’t automatically figure him out. But, I kept writing though. It wasn’t until chapter four that the book changed on me a bit. I had this particular chapter figured out, or so I thought. I was super excited about it too, but the more I looked at my original outline, the more I noticed that it wasn’t working.
I fought so hard against changing my original plan, but the magic of storytelling was much stronger than my stubbornness. That’s what I had to learn this month, once I caved in to what the character wanted me to write, it went smoother. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before in some of the blog posts, but I feel that it’s often overlooked when writers talk about their writing process. For the majority of us, we don’t just pop out 50,000 words in a day. If we do, then generally it’s because we’ve thought about it for a VERY long time. As a writer, I think it’s important to remember, and I often forget, that it’s not my stories that I’m writing…it’s the characters. And if the story isn’t going the way it’s supposed to, well they’ll let you know 😉
Unlike the magic from Harry Potter, writing magic doesn’t always come with just a flick of one’s wand. Writing comes with a lot of patience, practice, and listening to one’s inner voice. (Sorry, I couldn’t come up with another “p” word.)
So, how do you know if the magic of writing is REALLY working? When the story starts writing itself.
Let me give you an example from my latest writing project. For the last several months I’ve been working on the third book of my trilogy. Now, to be honest, I dreaded this book because of its level of difficulty. Half of this book is written from the perspective of the villain of the trilogy, which also happens to be the creation of the main villains of my entire universe. Now, this group of creatures is not something I’ve ever written about before. They are sociopathic biomechanical creatures. Or, as I like to put it…compare it to Dr. Who’s Cybermen, but with free will. Sounds scary, I know. But thinking from the perspective of a machine was super difficult for me. I remember trying to watch/read different movies and books that contained characters who were sociopathic and no matter how much I tried to research, I still couldn’t grasp the concept.
So, what do I do? Just start writing and hope for the best. The start of the book was insanely slow and brutal. In my mind, I knew what this main character was supposed to act like, but I just couldn’t automatically figure him out. But, I kept writing though. It wasn’t until chapter four that the book changed on me a bit. I had this particular chapter figured out, or so I thought. I was super excited about it too, but the more I looked at my original outline, the more I noticed that it wasn’t working.
I fought so hard against changing my original plan, but the magic of storytelling was much stronger than my stubbornness. That’s what I had to learn this month, once I caved in to what the character wanted me to write, it went smoother. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before in some of the blog posts, but I feel that it’s often overlooked when writers talk about their writing process. For the majority of us, we don’t just pop out 50,000 words in a day. If we do, then generally it’s because we’ve thought about it for a VERY long time. As a writer, I think it’s important to remember, and I often forget, that it’s not my stories that I’m writing…it’s the characters. And if the story isn’t going the way it’s supposed to, well they’ll let you know 😉
October 30, 2021
Treat Yourself
The month of October has given me a lot more tricks than treats. Many of these tricks resulted in my creative vibe being completely blocked, sad to say. Throughout the month, I tried to get my mind off of these events by delving into any project that I could. From helping my film partner with her upcoming film to getting so wrapped up in family research that I forgot what day it was.
But, my hubby came to the rescue in his own way. And, it was a very simple statement…
"Stop working."
At first, I looked at him kind of funny. What did he mean, 'Stop working'? I wasn't at work while at home. Given my stubborn nature, I heavily disagreed, but he explained that even when I'm not at work, I am always working. See, he showed me that projects and dreams, even the ones we absolutely adore, can become "work" if we aren't careful. Now, I can see what he meant by my writing career being work (and film too), but family research? I wasn't getting paid for it and I always did that when my mind was racing. But, I allowed it to take over my month.
In the last few weeks, I have slowly (and with great struggle) started doing things for myself. Things that aren't even remotely related to my normal projects. I started playing my old computer games, reading for fun, hiking with my dad, watching a LOT of horror movies, and just being spontaneous in what I do on my days off. And honestly, it's feeling so liberating. Now, I do go back to my "work" on occasion, but I don't always make a schedule for it. (Unless my film partner contacts me, that's a different story entirely ;) )
I realized that sometimes the things we love can take over our lives, especially during stressful times. And it's important to take a break whether that be taking a walk, hanging with friends, going to the movies, shopping, or anything that allows you to simply treat yourself. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think my Nintendo Switch game is calling! Happy Halloween!
But, my hubby came to the rescue in his own way. And, it was a very simple statement…
"Stop working."
At first, I looked at him kind of funny. What did he mean, 'Stop working'? I wasn't at work while at home. Given my stubborn nature, I heavily disagreed, but he explained that even when I'm not at work, I am always working. See, he showed me that projects and dreams, even the ones we absolutely adore, can become "work" if we aren't careful. Now, I can see what he meant by my writing career being work (and film too), but family research? I wasn't getting paid for it and I always did that when my mind was racing. But, I allowed it to take over my month.
In the last few weeks, I have slowly (and with great struggle) started doing things for myself. Things that aren't even remotely related to my normal projects. I started playing my old computer games, reading for fun, hiking with my dad, watching a LOT of horror movies, and just being spontaneous in what I do on my days off. And honestly, it's feeling so liberating. Now, I do go back to my "work" on occasion, but I don't always make a schedule for it. (Unless my film partner contacts me, that's a different story entirely ;) )
I realized that sometimes the things we love can take over our lives, especially during stressful times. And it's important to take a break whether that be taking a walk, hanging with friends, going to the movies, shopping, or anything that allows you to simply treat yourself. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think my Nintendo Switch game is calling! Happy Halloween!
September 29, 2021
Book Sisters Productions
The month of September has been a roller coaster of craziness! But through the ups and downs, I had something really amazing to look forward to--filmmaking. Remember last month I said I was going to work together with a local filmmaker/author? Well, it's not just a concept now. It's officially a reality!
With my marketing and public relations skills and Killarney's filmmaking vision, we make an amazing team. What's better is that we're both writers, so we understand each other's dreams!
To be honest, I never knew just how difficult it is to maintain the marketing aspect of a project and the project itself. But, it's very rewarding in the long run because at the end of the day I can say, "Hey, I helped with this! I made it work!"
Book Sisters Productions is what we have appropriately titled our little company. Our first project will be taking my old Amber Oak short stories and turning them into films. That, in itself, is a challenge.
For those who haven't read my original stories, they were written when I was twelve. Being in my late 20s, I can see areas in these stories where I need to either explain things better or flesh out the plot entirely. It's definitely a lot of work, but what's fun about it is that I'm also writing them in the series they were meant to be.
While the screenplays are in progress, our little company is assisting in other films. There's never a dull moment, whether it be last minute props…emergency script adjustments…or planning out the film day to a T. Although I still have a lot to learn about "show biz", I feel that assisting in these upcoming films will help me understand things better and also help me better as a writer whether that be writing on or off-screen!
If you want to be part of our journey, check out our website at www.booksistersproductions.com
With my marketing and public relations skills and Killarney's filmmaking vision, we make an amazing team. What's better is that we're both writers, so we understand each other's dreams!
To be honest, I never knew just how difficult it is to maintain the marketing aspect of a project and the project itself. But, it's very rewarding in the long run because at the end of the day I can say, "Hey, I helped with this! I made it work!"
Book Sisters Productions is what we have appropriately titled our little company. Our first project will be taking my old Amber Oak short stories and turning them into films. That, in itself, is a challenge.
For those who haven't read my original stories, they were written when I was twelve. Being in my late 20s, I can see areas in these stories where I need to either explain things better or flesh out the plot entirely. It's definitely a lot of work, but what's fun about it is that I'm also writing them in the series they were meant to be.
While the screenplays are in progress, our little company is assisting in other films. There's never a dull moment, whether it be last minute props…emergency script adjustments…or planning out the film day to a T. Although I still have a lot to learn about "show biz", I feel that assisting in these upcoming films will help me understand things better and also help me better as a writer whether that be writing on or off-screen!
If you want to be part of our journey, check out our website at www.booksistersproductions.com
August 29, 2021
Lights, Camera... Action!
Movies. TV has always been a big part of my life, I can still remember the educational films that were on TV in the late 90s that have honestly shaped my life and career. As I began writing many of those films drifted away from my memory and my writing career took hold of my mind.
As a writer, I always complained about book-to-film adaptions. The films, more often than not, missed EVERYTHING that the book was trying to portray. There have been very few adaptions that have actually made me think, "Hmm that wasn't bad." For this reason, I often scoffed at the idea of my books being put on "the big screen".
This past year has given me a whole new perspective of the term "direction". With all my events being either canceled or severely postponed, I needed to find a new avenue to go with my books. And let me tell you. I tried everything. I posted more on YouTube, assisted other authors, and even tried posting about my latest writing endeavors, but nothing seemed to be working well. That is…until I had my first event in a year. I was table buddies with a fellow author, Killarney Traynor. And although we didn't put up a "Sold Out" sign, we had a wonderful heart-to-heart conversation--one which may have even changed our lives for the better.
We started to talk about how our lives were changed within the last year and I even mentioned how I was looking for a new avenue for my writing. A few years ago, I even played around with taking one of my old "Amber Oak" mystery stories and turning it into a screenplay. At the time, I was just messing around, didn't take it seriously. But, Killarney heard my ideas and she LOVED them.
Fast forward to the end of the weekend and we decided to start working on films together!
"So, what changed your mind about book-to-film adaptions?"
Well, our conversation did actually. It made me realize that book-to-film adaptions can and SHOULD happen! But, it should be writers themselves who make their books come alive. No, not everything can be put into the film, but the important stuff can! Besides, who better to write a screenplay than the author who pretty much lived it? As I am writing this, I'm already writing my third screenplay and the more I write, the more I learn! My hope through this new adventure is to encourage other writers to expand their horizons. There are so many possibilities out there with writing in fact, they're endless!
As a writer, I always complained about book-to-film adaptions. The films, more often than not, missed EVERYTHING that the book was trying to portray. There have been very few adaptions that have actually made me think, "Hmm that wasn't bad." For this reason, I often scoffed at the idea of my books being put on "the big screen".
This past year has given me a whole new perspective of the term "direction". With all my events being either canceled or severely postponed, I needed to find a new avenue to go with my books. And let me tell you. I tried everything. I posted more on YouTube, assisted other authors, and even tried posting about my latest writing endeavors, but nothing seemed to be working well. That is…until I had my first event in a year. I was table buddies with a fellow author, Killarney Traynor. And although we didn't put up a "Sold Out" sign, we had a wonderful heart-to-heart conversation--one which may have even changed our lives for the better.
We started to talk about how our lives were changed within the last year and I even mentioned how I was looking for a new avenue for my writing. A few years ago, I even played around with taking one of my old "Amber Oak" mystery stories and turning it into a screenplay. At the time, I was just messing around, didn't take it seriously. But, Killarney heard my ideas and she LOVED them.
Fast forward to the end of the weekend and we decided to start working on films together!
"So, what changed your mind about book-to-film adaptions?"
Well, our conversation did actually. It made me realize that book-to-film adaptions can and SHOULD happen! But, it should be writers themselves who make their books come alive. No, not everything can be put into the film, but the important stuff can! Besides, who better to write a screenplay than the author who pretty much lived it? As I am writing this, I'm already writing my third screenplay and the more I write, the more I learn! My hope through this new adventure is to encourage other writers to expand their horizons. There are so many possibilities out there with writing in fact, they're endless!
June 30, 2021
Re-Adjust Your Focus
For the last few months, I’ve been in a serious writer’s block—one that I’ve never experienced before. Why? Because I’ve been so consumed with getting the third book of my trilogy perfect. Well, as we all know, perfection is just a word…it doesn’t really exist.
But, I was struggling with the main character of the book, my “writer’s ears” couldn’t hear him talking. He was keeping all his secrets and he spoke in so many riddles, that I found myself trying to untangle them more than I was writing. (For those of you interested in the trilogy…here’s a sneak peek at what book three will be like 😉 )
Earlier this month, I had the awesome opportunity to work with one of my best friends at an art event. We hadn’t seen each other in months and we caught up on each other's lives. This writer’s block was one of the struggles I told her about and she really encouraged me to take a different path.
See for the longest time, I had it in my head that I needed to produce a book a year. In my mind, I thought that was a reasonable timeframe, but when I brought it up to my author friends they told me they were happy to just come out with a book every few years. But, this pattern was working for me, that is until I got a new position in my day job. I found myself having less and less time/energy to write, that and being a first-time homeowner, among other things this past year has brought me and my family. My original pattern soon began to look unrealistic.
And you know, I’m okay with that now. If this writer’s block has taught me anything is that I’ve been way too focused on this trilogy. All I’ve seen is a small portion of the picture. Sometimes it’s better to take a step back and even shift gears. And I’ve found a new avenue to venture on. I’ve decided to get into screenplay writing. It’s something I’ve been wanting to do for several years now and I even had a screenplay on the shelf for the last two years. I felt so much relief allowing myself to change my perspective on my writing. Now, I do plan to get back to the trilogy, so no worries about crazy cliffhangers, but this is a break I know I need.
I also think this is why artists, in general, can get into ruts. We can get so dedicated to a specific project, that we write, draw, paint ourselves into corners. With this new direction and the decision to stick with it, I gotta say, it has taken a huge weight off my shoulders and I want to encourage all my writer/artist friends out there to take a step back if you need it. Give yourself the time you need to readjust your focus, who knows, maybe your art will come out ten times better than what you initially thought.
But, I was struggling with the main character of the book, my “writer’s ears” couldn’t hear him talking. He was keeping all his secrets and he spoke in so many riddles, that I found myself trying to untangle them more than I was writing. (For those of you interested in the trilogy…here’s a sneak peek at what book three will be like 😉 )
Earlier this month, I had the awesome opportunity to work with one of my best friends at an art event. We hadn’t seen each other in months and we caught up on each other's lives. This writer’s block was one of the struggles I told her about and she really encouraged me to take a different path.
See for the longest time, I had it in my head that I needed to produce a book a year. In my mind, I thought that was a reasonable timeframe, but when I brought it up to my author friends they told me they were happy to just come out with a book every few years. But, this pattern was working for me, that is until I got a new position in my day job. I found myself having less and less time/energy to write, that and being a first-time homeowner, among other things this past year has brought me and my family. My original pattern soon began to look unrealistic.
And you know, I’m okay with that now. If this writer’s block has taught me anything is that I’ve been way too focused on this trilogy. All I’ve seen is a small portion of the picture. Sometimes it’s better to take a step back and even shift gears. And I’ve found a new avenue to venture on. I’ve decided to get into screenplay writing. It’s something I’ve been wanting to do for several years now and I even had a screenplay on the shelf for the last two years. I felt so much relief allowing myself to change my perspective on my writing. Now, I do plan to get back to the trilogy, so no worries about crazy cliffhangers, but this is a break I know I need.
I also think this is why artists, in general, can get into ruts. We can get so dedicated to a specific project, that we write, draw, paint ourselves into corners. With this new direction and the decision to stick with it, I gotta say, it has taken a huge weight off my shoulders and I want to encourage all my writer/artist friends out there to take a step back if you need it. Give yourself the time you need to readjust your focus, who knows, maybe your art will come out ten times better than what you initially thought.
May 28, 2021
Critical Mass
If you’re like me, you probably work a LOT. And I’m not just talking about the general 9-5 where you wear ten hats in one day. I’m talking about working that, plus having a bunch of hobbies that each require a lot of your attention. Does this sound like you or someone you might know?
What about this scenario?
Take everything from above, but add in the fact you’re really hard on yourself? Everything must be done at a certain time every week and that warning bell in your head is starting to chime.
Well, my friends, that warning bell is your “Critical Mass” level telling you to take a break. Sadly, I reached almost beyond that point this month. That annoying little bell was going off for so long that my “Critical Mass” level nearly broke. And, it was this past week that the realization hit me—I needed to say no.
What does that two-letter word have to do with the dangerous level? Most of the time, my problem is piling too many things on my plate whether it be constantly telling people at work, “Sure, I’ll get this done at some point today.” Or when I’m telling myself, “Yeah I can add one more project to my list, no big deal.” Saying, “No, I can’t do that right now” or “Nope, that idea will have to wait” is SOOOOOOO liberating!
When we reach “Critical Mass” we lose passion in our hobbies whether that be art, music, writing, (etc.) and when we lose passion, we lose interest, and when we lose interest, we can tend to become lethargic. And this can show in our work. I began to see that my hobbies and passions became more like obligatory chores and when I reached my level this week I reflected back on this month and saw my slow decline. It made me sad that I managed to get myself to that point. So, I left work a bit earlier than expected this past week and took a nap when I got home. The second I woke up, everything was so clear to me. I knew what I had to do.
Stop planning.
“Wait…what? But how will you get anything done?”
That’s the point. Not EVERYTHING has to get done the second we think about it. I have a YouTube vlog where I review books and talk about book-related things, I read at least one book a week, I do projects for my family history, and I help people who reach out to me with book and genealogy things, and on top of it all…I’m finishing a trilogy!
But not all of these things are immediate and I feel that as an artist I get caught up in all the things I think I need to do to move my career forward. I am constantly thinking to myself that, “My fans want to see progress.”
Of course they do, but they understand I’m human too and I get burned out just like the rest. I feel it’s important as an artist, writer, and creator to take some “me” time. Do something that is non-project related, even if that means not always posting something, even if that means…taking a day to do absolutely nothing.
So, to all my artsy friends out there…you do YOU, the rest of the world will wait!
What about this scenario?
Take everything from above, but add in the fact you’re really hard on yourself? Everything must be done at a certain time every week and that warning bell in your head is starting to chime.
Well, my friends, that warning bell is your “Critical Mass” level telling you to take a break. Sadly, I reached almost beyond that point this month. That annoying little bell was going off for so long that my “Critical Mass” level nearly broke. And, it was this past week that the realization hit me—I needed to say no.
What does that two-letter word have to do with the dangerous level? Most of the time, my problem is piling too many things on my plate whether it be constantly telling people at work, “Sure, I’ll get this done at some point today.” Or when I’m telling myself, “Yeah I can add one more project to my list, no big deal.” Saying, “No, I can’t do that right now” or “Nope, that idea will have to wait” is SOOOOOOO liberating!
When we reach “Critical Mass” we lose passion in our hobbies whether that be art, music, writing, (etc.) and when we lose passion, we lose interest, and when we lose interest, we can tend to become lethargic. And this can show in our work. I began to see that my hobbies and passions became more like obligatory chores and when I reached my level this week I reflected back on this month and saw my slow decline. It made me sad that I managed to get myself to that point. So, I left work a bit earlier than expected this past week and took a nap when I got home. The second I woke up, everything was so clear to me. I knew what I had to do.
Stop planning.
“Wait…what? But how will you get anything done?”
That’s the point. Not EVERYTHING has to get done the second we think about it. I have a YouTube vlog where I review books and talk about book-related things, I read at least one book a week, I do projects for my family history, and I help people who reach out to me with book and genealogy things, and on top of it all…I’m finishing a trilogy!
But not all of these things are immediate and I feel that as an artist I get caught up in all the things I think I need to do to move my career forward. I am constantly thinking to myself that, “My fans want to see progress.”
Of course they do, but they understand I’m human too and I get burned out just like the rest. I feel it’s important as an artist, writer, and creator to take some “me” time. Do something that is non-project related, even if that means not always posting something, even if that means…taking a day to do absolutely nothing.
So, to all my artsy friends out there…you do YOU, the rest of the world will wait!
April 29, 2021
Your Origin Story
"April showers bring May flowers" is how the old saying goes. Oftentimes, this saying comes across as negative, I mean, who wants a dreary rainy day? But, it's these rainy days that bring beauty.
The same could go for negative book reviews. Now, if you ask any author, they'll probably tell you about their most awful review or maybe it was so bad that it made them laugh. It even happened to me, but laughter is not what I initially felt.
I was looking at reviews of my first science fantasy novel, "Memories of Chronosalis", just out of sheer curiosity. I came across one that was negative, but unique. The individual made a comment with no rating and stated that they refused to give a rating until I went back through the book with a better editor and something else that I can't quite remember. Honestly, I stared at this for a while and was rather peeved at first. This was my first novel as I had stated MANY times, it was also a re-write of a series that I started when I was 12. So, "Give a girl a break!" I thought. For weeks I was a bit bitter and I was seriously considering doing what the reviewer suggested. But the more I thought about it, the more I laughed, and eventually, I said, "NO!" and here's why.
First of all, I'll admit, that book definitely could have used a better editor. And yeah, his comment made me feel like maybe I should clean up some of the areas that could have had extra oomph to them. But, I also got to thinking about all the famous authors who have their first works out there. Sure, the authors have stated how much they hate some of their books and some have a LOT of revisions. But there are also some original copies that are worth hundreds if not thousands of dollars. I'm not saying that'll be the situation with this particular book. But what if I go back and make everything perfect, where's my origin story then?
Origin stories are so important and oftentimes artists forget about where and how they began. These original copies of books, artwork, sketches--these are what make an artist.
My late grandfather once asked me to never change my original series. He asked me to keep selling that series and never forget it. And I kept that promise. Instead, I kept pushing forward--always learning new writing techniques and bettering myself as a writer.
That's why I'm not going to go back and edit past books. Because they tell my story as a writer, I can go back to each book and tell you exactly what I was thinking during that process. In fact, I've even used those old books and I'm turning them into screenplays. My hope is that one day I can be a screenplay writer and my stories will come even more alive.
So, to my author friends out there, embrace the negative reviews! Maybe the reader misread your work or maybe the comments are valid. It doesn't matter, because your work represents your origin story and that, my friends, is something you cannot change!
The same could go for negative book reviews. Now, if you ask any author, they'll probably tell you about their most awful review or maybe it was so bad that it made them laugh. It even happened to me, but laughter is not what I initially felt.
I was looking at reviews of my first science fantasy novel, "Memories of Chronosalis", just out of sheer curiosity. I came across one that was negative, but unique. The individual made a comment with no rating and stated that they refused to give a rating until I went back through the book with a better editor and something else that I can't quite remember. Honestly, I stared at this for a while and was rather peeved at first. This was my first novel as I had stated MANY times, it was also a re-write of a series that I started when I was 12. So, "Give a girl a break!" I thought. For weeks I was a bit bitter and I was seriously considering doing what the reviewer suggested. But the more I thought about it, the more I laughed, and eventually, I said, "NO!" and here's why.
First of all, I'll admit, that book definitely could have used a better editor. And yeah, his comment made me feel like maybe I should clean up some of the areas that could have had extra oomph to them. But, I also got to thinking about all the famous authors who have their first works out there. Sure, the authors have stated how much they hate some of their books and some have a LOT of revisions. But there are also some original copies that are worth hundreds if not thousands of dollars. I'm not saying that'll be the situation with this particular book. But what if I go back and make everything perfect, where's my origin story then?
Origin stories are so important and oftentimes artists forget about where and how they began. These original copies of books, artwork, sketches--these are what make an artist.
My late grandfather once asked me to never change my original series. He asked me to keep selling that series and never forget it. And I kept that promise. Instead, I kept pushing forward--always learning new writing techniques and bettering myself as a writer.
That's why I'm not going to go back and edit past books. Because they tell my story as a writer, I can go back to each book and tell you exactly what I was thinking during that process. In fact, I've even used those old books and I'm turning them into screenplays. My hope is that one day I can be a screenplay writer and my stories will come even more alive.
So, to my author friends out there, embrace the negative reviews! Maybe the reader misread your work or maybe the comments are valid. It doesn't matter, because your work represents your origin story and that, my friends, is something you cannot change!
March 29, 2021
Make Your Own Door
I’ve had a lot of time to think about this month’s blog post. This is mostly due to the fact that I didn’t really know what to write about until now. See, this month’s been rough for me. In the beginning, I was doing great with book-related stuff and I was actually making a schedule (of sorts) so I could get everything done on time. But this month gave me an unpleasant surprise that totally threw my system off. I got into a car accident—in my driveway of all places. And unfortunately, I sustained bruises that I’m still trying to heal from. To throw my book system out of whack, even more, I’m also still dealing with insurance stuff and trying to get my car fixed.
So, yeah, I guess you could say this was a very tough month for me. I had to redo my already shaky schedule, not to mention catch up on everything I fell behind on. This past weekend, I was venting to my husband about all my struggles (which obviously he already knew). I remembered telling him that lately every door I’ve tried to open to get further in my book career has either slammed shut or just won’t open. Then, he said to me, “Sometimes you have to make your own door.”
And you know, it hit me, “make your own door”. I realized I HAD been doing that all along. I was so focused on finding the “right door” that I neglected the door I was trying to build for myself. Maybe the door I’m building is meant to be opened by someone else, maybe even someone who can help boost my book career. The point is, I realized that it doesn’t matter where my door is at in the construction process. Right now, it’s a semblance of a door frame, but eventually, it will be exactly how it supposed to be. I just need to keep building and, with those inconvenient moments in life, maybe even rebuild.
So, yeah, I guess you could say this was a very tough month for me. I had to redo my already shaky schedule, not to mention catch up on everything I fell behind on. This past weekend, I was venting to my husband about all my struggles (which obviously he already knew). I remembered telling him that lately every door I’ve tried to open to get further in my book career has either slammed shut or just won’t open. Then, he said to me, “Sometimes you have to make your own door.”
And you know, it hit me, “make your own door”. I realized I HAD been doing that all along. I was so focused on finding the “right door” that I neglected the door I was trying to build for myself. Maybe the door I’m building is meant to be opened by someone else, maybe even someone who can help boost my book career. The point is, I realized that it doesn’t matter where my door is at in the construction process. Right now, it’s a semblance of a door frame, but eventually, it will be exactly how it supposed to be. I just need to keep building and, with those inconvenient moments in life, maybe even rebuild.
February 26, 2021
What's Next?
Throughout all my schooling, I learned about some of the world’s most amazing artists. Some were writers, painters, musicians—really any form of art. And, you want to know what a good chunk of them have in common? Strong emotions. Sadly, a lot of those emotions are negative and stem from a tragedy of some sort. And many of those feelings led them down a very dark path and in some cases led to their untimely demise.
But, I don’t want to delve far into the “dark side” of that. I do, however, want to focus on the emotions that drove them. Being an artist (regardless of the medium) is a lonely life. Sure, we may have a great fan base and a wonderful support group, but our fans and friends can’t do the work for us. And, I think that’s where we artists get in sucked in those negative emotions sometimes. We feel the weight of our own work being thrown against us and it can be frustrating and sometimes scary.
Like many artists this past year, I went through a “down” time, a time where I felt like my work was going nowhere and it totally messed with my every day life. My co-workers noticed I was off, my family felt helpless at times, and I was just angry. So, I decided to find someone to talk to—an unbiased “friend” if you will 😉. It was the best decision I’ve made so far in my adult life.
I went and saw her a number of times and of all the times I did there was one phrase that changed everything for me. “It’s okay to feel that way”. In this world that we live in, we are influenced from every side. We are inundated with how we should feel whether that be the media, movies, books, music, popular opinion, celebrities, and the list goes on. I learned that we don’t actually need a reason for why we feel the way we do—not even from ourselves. That was my hang-up, I was feeling all these negative emotions from the failure that this past year has brought to my writing career and I felt that my feelings weren’t valid. I needed a reason to feel the way I do, but I don’t. It’s how I felt and I learned that that was good enough.
Accepting how I felt was only the first step, though. The next wasn’t as hard as I expected. I had to move forward and not dwell on how I felt. I told myself on several occasions, “Okay, so you’re angry with how the year turned out. Great. What are you going to do next?” It became almost like a mantra, I was constantly asking myself, “What are you going to do next?”.
Being aware of how I felt and accepting that I didn’t need a reason for it has made my writing life so much better. And, I feel I’m not as demanding of myself. Is my emotional life perfect now? Ha! Not by a longshot, I’m constantly working on myself as an artist, working to improve my craft, and also taking moments to pause and be aware of how I am feeling. This new realization isn’t a quick fix, but it’s helping me become a better person and artist! 😊
But, I don’t want to delve far into the “dark side” of that. I do, however, want to focus on the emotions that drove them. Being an artist (regardless of the medium) is a lonely life. Sure, we may have a great fan base and a wonderful support group, but our fans and friends can’t do the work for us. And, I think that’s where we artists get in sucked in those negative emotions sometimes. We feel the weight of our own work being thrown against us and it can be frustrating and sometimes scary.
Like many artists this past year, I went through a “down” time, a time where I felt like my work was going nowhere and it totally messed with my every day life. My co-workers noticed I was off, my family felt helpless at times, and I was just angry. So, I decided to find someone to talk to—an unbiased “friend” if you will 😉. It was the best decision I’ve made so far in my adult life.
I went and saw her a number of times and of all the times I did there was one phrase that changed everything for me. “It’s okay to feel that way”. In this world that we live in, we are influenced from every side. We are inundated with how we should feel whether that be the media, movies, books, music, popular opinion, celebrities, and the list goes on. I learned that we don’t actually need a reason for why we feel the way we do—not even from ourselves. That was my hang-up, I was feeling all these negative emotions from the failure that this past year has brought to my writing career and I felt that my feelings weren’t valid. I needed a reason to feel the way I do, but I don’t. It’s how I felt and I learned that that was good enough.
Accepting how I felt was only the first step, though. The next wasn’t as hard as I expected. I had to move forward and not dwell on how I felt. I told myself on several occasions, “Okay, so you’re angry with how the year turned out. Great. What are you going to do next?” It became almost like a mantra, I was constantly asking myself, “What are you going to do next?”.
Being aware of how I felt and accepting that I didn’t need a reason for it has made my writing life so much better. And, I feel I’m not as demanding of myself. Is my emotional life perfect now? Ha! Not by a longshot, I’m constantly working on myself as an artist, working to improve my craft, and also taking moments to pause and be aware of how I am feeling. This new realization isn’t a quick fix, but it’s helping me become a better person and artist! 😊
