Ceara Comeau's Blog: Lessons From A Struggling Writer - Posts Tagged "selfcare"
No Turning Back
MAYDAY! MAYDAY! That’s what my brain has been screaming since the beginning of this month. Why? Well, I’ve been planning for one of the biggest book events of my career (so far). I’ll be heading to Canada to the Niagara Falls Comic Con on June 7th-9th. Sounds exciting, right? Definitely, but there’s a lot more to it than I originally thought.
I’ve spent months preparing for the event and it seemed every time I thought I had things figured out, Canada whispered to me, “But wait…there’s more!” And to top it all off, I get a letter from one of the Canadian officials who are in charge of the event stating that I’m one of ten foreign vendors! That’s right, TEN! “Great, no pressure!” is what I thought upon reading that letter. I didn’t know who these other nine vendors were and for all I knew, I was the only American! (I’m probably not, but that was just what my paranoid mind was thinking at the time).
With all the legalities involved and the constant stress of having all my ducks in a row, my dad asked me, “How much money have you put into this thing already?” I’m pretty sure my brain short-circuited at this question, but I simply said, “Too much.” I then started thinking, is this going to be worth it? But my mom said, “You can’t turn back now, you already put so much time and effort into this!”
So, at this point, I became so consumed with this event and my writing that I began to forget the important things. I forgot to enjoy the journey that I’m on. Yes, preparing for this event is a big thing and obviously writing is my career, but they’re not the only things going on in my life. I began to give myself more breaks and took up exercising more whether it be hiking or biking. I even started eating super healthy foods! And you know, it made such a difference in my overall mental state.
Now, I’m not saying go on a week-long fast or go climb Mount Washington. No, but I find that taking care of one’s self is far more important than any career or hobby. I mean, subconsciously we know that. But as people, we sometimes get caught up in the awesome moments of life that we tend to forget about ourselves. Think about it, if we don’t take the time to care for ourselves first, then our careers will suffer for it in the long run.
I’ve spent months preparing for the event and it seemed every time I thought I had things figured out, Canada whispered to me, “But wait…there’s more!” And to top it all off, I get a letter from one of the Canadian officials who are in charge of the event stating that I’m one of ten foreign vendors! That’s right, TEN! “Great, no pressure!” is what I thought upon reading that letter. I didn’t know who these other nine vendors were and for all I knew, I was the only American! (I’m probably not, but that was just what my paranoid mind was thinking at the time).
With all the legalities involved and the constant stress of having all my ducks in a row, my dad asked me, “How much money have you put into this thing already?” I’m pretty sure my brain short-circuited at this question, but I simply said, “Too much.” I then started thinking, is this going to be worth it? But my mom said, “You can’t turn back now, you already put so much time and effort into this!”
So, at this point, I became so consumed with this event and my writing that I began to forget the important things. I forgot to enjoy the journey that I’m on. Yes, preparing for this event is a big thing and obviously writing is my career, but they’re not the only things going on in my life. I began to give myself more breaks and took up exercising more whether it be hiking or biking. I even started eating super healthy foods! And you know, it made such a difference in my overall mental state.
Now, I’m not saying go on a week-long fast or go climb Mount Washington. No, but I find that taking care of one’s self is far more important than any career or hobby. I mean, subconsciously we know that. But as people, we sometimes get caught up in the awesome moments of life that we tend to forget about ourselves. Think about it, if we don’t take the time to care for ourselves first, then our careers will suffer for it in the long run.
Choose You
Two years ago I made a promise to myself—a promise that I’d do everything I could to make my dreams of being a successful author come true. Whether it be financially, creatively, or even with marketing, I was determined. But, over the last few years, I broke that promise to myself without even realizing it.
See, I had this plan, one that I believed was foolproof. This plan was going to help me get to the top and accomplish all of my dreams. It wasn’t until the beginning of this month that I realized my genius plan became my entire focus. Now, I truly believed that I was still completely focused on my writing and my goals, and honestly, I had fooled myself. I allowed my original plan to dictate when I was going to “feel” creative and whatever the plan deemed most important in my life, I followed without question. Sounds scary, right? I didn’t realize how scary that was until I had a really good conversation with my sister.
I told her about my plan and how I had seen what it was doing to my daily life. She put a gentle hand on my arm and said, “You need to be kinder to yourself.” And for the rest of the month, I constantly thought about what she told me. At first, I argued internally, I thought I was being kind to myself, it was my original plan that was taking hold of my life. But, you see, I was letting it.
There’s something to be said about the power we naturally wield. That power is control, whether that be over ourselves or situations we get ourselves into. We have the power to say yes or no to things that come into our lives. And for me, I didn’t know how to say “no”. Which, is partly why this plan of mine took control. I was too afraid to say that word because I was too afraid that my plan would fall apart and I’d have to conjure up a new way to make my dreams come true. But that little two-letter word is the most important weapon in our arsenal. Because that reconfirms in our minds that we always have control.
So, as we ring in the new year, I want to challenge you to choose you. Focus on self-care. I’m not talking about going to the spa, binge-watching your favorite movie, or reading a book. I’m talking about focusing on your goals and dreams because that is a form of self-care. Make sure you don’t fall into the same trap that I did and make sure that whatever “plan” you may have stays only a plan.
See, I had this plan, one that I believed was foolproof. This plan was going to help me get to the top and accomplish all of my dreams. It wasn’t until the beginning of this month that I realized my genius plan became my entire focus. Now, I truly believed that I was still completely focused on my writing and my goals, and honestly, I had fooled myself. I allowed my original plan to dictate when I was going to “feel” creative and whatever the plan deemed most important in my life, I followed without question. Sounds scary, right? I didn’t realize how scary that was until I had a really good conversation with my sister.
I told her about my plan and how I had seen what it was doing to my daily life. She put a gentle hand on my arm and said, “You need to be kinder to yourself.” And for the rest of the month, I constantly thought about what she told me. At first, I argued internally, I thought I was being kind to myself, it was my original plan that was taking hold of my life. But, you see, I was letting it.
There’s something to be said about the power we naturally wield. That power is control, whether that be over ourselves or situations we get ourselves into. We have the power to say yes or no to things that come into our lives. And for me, I didn’t know how to say “no”. Which, is partly why this plan of mine took control. I was too afraid to say that word because I was too afraid that my plan would fall apart and I’d have to conjure up a new way to make my dreams come true. But that little two-letter word is the most important weapon in our arsenal. Because that reconfirms in our minds that we always have control.
So, as we ring in the new year, I want to challenge you to choose you. Focus on self-care. I’m not talking about going to the spa, binge-watching your favorite movie, or reading a book. I’m talking about focusing on your goals and dreams because that is a form of self-care. Make sure you don’t fall into the same trap that I did and make sure that whatever “plan” you may have stays only a plan.
