Knock Knock's Blog, page 4

5 Awesome Grammar Burns in Honor of National Grammar Day!

Knock Knock has always been a proud grammar-skills advocate. For National Grammar Day, we dove into the black hole of Twitter and found several shining moments when grammar amusingly prevailed.

1. “Your” versus “you’re”

Even NBA stars and fans can’t escape the wrath incurred by improper grammar.

2. “To” versus “too”

If you plan on insulting someone, make sure you have proper word usage. This Trump supporter did not take such precautions.

3. “There” versus “their”

If you choose to support someone who spews tasteless Tweets, at least make sure your grammar is correct.

4. “Whose” versus “who’s”

Twitter user Grammar Police corrects incoming Tweets of other users in real time. @GrammarPolice has evolved into our beacon of hope.

5. Proofread the professionals

Take a well-deserved bow, @Awsm_Mom.

To all the grammarians out there: continue to do great work with your red pens, grammar checklists, and syntax morals.

What are your grammar pet peeves? Tell us in a comment.

“How to Be Depressed” Comedy Show and Book Release Party

Last week, we celebrated the release of How to Be Depressed: A Guide by comedian Dana Eagle with a night of stand-up, sketch comedy, and alcoholic beverages. It was an all-around, undepressing good time!

Dana performed on Los Angeles’s ACME Theater stage with a company of fellow stand-up comedians and friends. Comedians included Jackie Kashian, host of The Dork Forest podcast and Nerdist’s The Jackie and Laurie Show; the alternative comedy, “bitter Buddha” Eddie Pepitone, host of the Pep Talks podcast and whose comedy special In Ruins is on now Netflix; “self-help guru” Tommy Lama, and musical satirist Eric Schwartz. Also, actors , Jonathan Grey, and Sarah Allan performed book-inspired vignettes between each set, including sharing the “Perks of Being Depressed in Los Angeles.”

A special poster on display outside the ACME Theater on La Brea Ave.

At the start of the show, Dana (right) and her friends (left to right) Sarah, Jonathan, and Amy lead “The Depression Code of Honor,” an oath from the book.

Everyone taking the oath—everyone!

Dana onstage, walking us through her mental-health insights.

Do not heckle Eddie Pepitone—he already heckles himself.

A huge thank you to all “How to Be Depressed” comedians! From left to right: Jackie Kashian, Eric Schwartz, Dana Eagle, Tommy Lama, Sarah Allan, Jonathan Grey, Amy Scribner, and Eddie Pepitone.

How to Be Depressed: A Guide is now available at the Knock Knock shop and Amazon.

Meet Comedian Dana Eagle!

Dana Eagle is not your run-of-the-mill comedian. For instance, we assume very few comedians have had the opportunity to be on the receiving end of the legendary Roseanne Barr saying she wants to “hear more about you, growing up and becoming the odd person that you are,” in front of millions of viewers across the world. Dana already has that under her comedic belt.

How to Be Depressed: A Guide by Dana Eagle is now available at Knock Knock and Amazon.

The Last Comic Standing veteran and author of How to Be Depressed: A Guide has been a stand-up comedian for over fifteen years. Her no-frills, fearless humor encompasses topics like her LGBTQ lifestyle, her personal struggles with depression and mental health, and even her recent battle with lymphoma. Also, throughout her comedy tenure, she’s performed shows with the likes of Bill Maher, Maria Bamford, and literally brought laughter to troops in war zones, including Iraq in 2007.

“I wanted to absorb everything I could both about other parts of the world as well as people, in general. I’m always curious as to how people came to where they are, and why they made the choices they did. This was especially true of the military, Dana said. “I don’t come from a military family and until those trips, I didn’t fully understand the sacrifice that was made. It was always a little embarrassing because they’d always thank us. Each time we landed at a new base, they’d say, ‘Thank you for coming. Thank you for leaving your family.’ And I’d reply, ‘I don’t even like my family.’”

Dana’s How to Be Depressed: A Guide shares wry wisdom, and “therapeutic” activities like finding your “depressed pose” and filling out a bad-poetry generator. Most importantly, the book teaches how expressing yourself and using humor can make depression feel more bearable.

1. We’re sure you get this a lot, but how did you get into stand-up comedy? As the legend goes, I was in musical theater and they asked me to leave. I was on tour in a musical but had the only non-singing role. I explained to the cast that I actually could sing (and perhaps offered demonstrations). Finally, they said, “No you can’t. And you’re annoying to be on a bus with.”

Typically, I’m more reserved than people would expect, certainly more than what’s on stage when I’m performing stand-up. But once I’m comfortable, I can be “spirited” or, as others may choose to refer to it, “annoying.” But I guess some of my quips were sharp enough that a couple of people pulled me aside and said, “You should give it a shot.” A few months after I returned home, I took a class and ever since, the singing stays in the shower.

Top: Dana in military uniform; Bottom: Soldiers in Iraq waiting in 110-degree heat for Dana’s evening show to begin.

2. Any tips for budding comics out there? Yup. Here’s a short list:

Check the flights before you accept the gig.
Lie to your parents.
Never leave the stage empty (wait for the emcee to return).
Lie to the passenger sitting next to you on the plane (and everywhere else) unless you want several hours of, “I’ve got another one for you.”
Don’t take jokes from my father.
Don’t ask, “Is this funny?” Just slip it into the conversation and see how it works.
Remember, people are eating.
Get a comedy buddy to bounce things off of.
Finally, there are only two parts to a joke: the set-up and the punch line. The first part is written for you. You have one job.

Oh, and check your fly.

3. Other hobbies outside of stand-up and writing? I belong to a book club that would probably be more accurately described as a drinking club that orders books. You’re welcome, Amazon.

I don’t live a jet-setting life but stand-up has afforded me some wonderful travel (and some not-so-wonderful travel) as well as plenty of new experiences. My “time off” is about being with friends in ordinary ways. I suppose I’m a little backward like that.

Dana on the road. This stop: Tahoe!

4. Aside from Last Comic Standing, you’ve been on The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson, Comedy Central’s Premium Blend, Comics Unleashed, and continue to perform around the country. What’s your process for preparing for shows? Well, I would refer you to pg. 66 in How to Be Depressed: “How to Leave Things Unfinished.”

Also, it depends on what type of show it is. When it’s a job, then I have to put aside what I’m developing and do the “best of” [my material] or whatever suits the crowd. If it’s a television opportunity, then it becomes hitting time and what I can get past Broadcast Standards and Practices. People would be surprised—it’s not just about the swear words. It can relate to name brands, suggestive material, trigger words. One show called my manager and said, “She can’t make fun of bipolar people!” My manager said, “But she’s bipolar.” And they said, “Oh, well then that’s okay.”

Around town, my sets are a mix. Often I have the club light me halfway through so I can use the second half for new material. I generally prefer working on stand-up after a show. It’s quiet. I like heading to an all-night diner and sitting with my notes.

5. Any advice that you can give to those of us also struggling with our mental health? At the risk of sounding high-minded (or for the purpose of), I think How to Be Depressed is an antidote to what Andrew Solomon, author of The Noonday Demon, refers to below as “trying too hard” so if I may borrow:

Dana relaxing with a friend.

“It is true both that very little depression is entirely the fault of the sufferer, and that almost all depression can be ameliorated with rigor . . . If you push yourself too hard, you will make yourself worse, but you must push hard enough if you really want to get out.”

Another piece of advice is a little trick from my shrinky dink. In a moment of crisis or paralysis, she asks, “What is it you think you need right now?” This redirects my mind from whatever issue that it’s snacking on at the moment toward what is called “self-care.”(It’s hard for me to use that expression without rolling my eyes at myself.)

And finally, if I may offer one last strategy: For a period of time, when my health insurance was unable to provide . . . well, let’s just say they were fined by the state, I used this website. There’s nothing to buy, no memberships, no gurus to worship. It simply offers information and simple strategies that address the different types of automatic thinking associated with depression and other mental health issues. To this day, I still visit the “Solutions” section and print out a couple of worksheets for myself.

6. Favorite Knock Knock item (besides your book) and why? Inconsequential Dilemmas is engaging, funny, and a terrific group read. It feels like one of those games we played in the car before there were iPads. But now I see that there’s Consequential Dilemmas so check back because that might top it.

7. What are 3 things on your bucket list right now? No bucket list. There’s now, next week, and a few things I’d like to try (like tightrope walking) but if I don’t, then I’m good with what’s on the agenda.

Check out Dana’s upcoming shows , and keep up with Dana on Twitter @DanaEagleTweets and Instagram @DanaEagle .

All photos by Dana Eagle.

9 Easy Galentine’s Day Party Ideas for the Procrastinators

Want to host a Galentine’s get together that would make Leslie Knope proud? Whether it’s brunch, karaoke, or a TV-binge night, foolproof your plans with these quick tips that require only 47 percent actual effort.

1. Fancify your invites. Graphic-design sites like Canva offer free, customizable, easy-to-use templates for the design-challenged.

2. Potluck it up. Have your guests bring their favorite dish to share. You won’t break a sweat and herbivores can eat all the hummus they want—a win-win.

3. Print cute Valentines—for free! We made ready-to-print Valentines for everyone in your life, including your besties. Print, cut out, and write in what your BFF means to you and voilá—you have an instant Galentine’s Day card. DOWNLOAD AND PRINT

4. Bake a Golden Girls Cake. Thank them for being your friends by making this delectable Double Fudge Amaretto Ricotta Cheesecake, inspired by The Golden Girls. Make Sophia proud.

5. Get the “Girl Power” Tunes Going. For party music, we suggest Spotify’s “Who Run the World? Girls!” playlist. Lip-sync battles are welcomed.

6. Bring on the aperitifs a-plenty. Sure, you can make chic cocktails for your buds, like The Rose Noir or The Elderflower Champagne Cocktail. But this delicious Watermelon Basil Agua Fresca recipe only has 5 ingredients and looks amazingly refreshing.

7. Flatter friends with compliments. Galentine’s Day is all about women celebrating women. While in a circle, go around and say one nice thing about someone else there. You can also fill out a Why You’re My Bestie book, but prepare for waterworks.

8. Get inked (sort of).Use temporary tattoo paper (we didn’t know it existed either) and print Galentine-themed tats to show off.

9. Say thanks.After the party, thank your BFFs for coming with surprise thank-you cards via snail mail. We hear our Send Some Thanks Fill in the Love® Postcard Set is oh-so helpful.

We hope you and your gal pals have a happy Galentine’s Day. How are you celebrating? Share with us in a comment.

You Could Win $500 in Knock Knock Stuff + Brunch On Us!

This Galentine’s Day, kick it with your besties on us! We’ve partnered with Create & Cultivate to help you stock up on cool gifts and desk accessories for your BFFs, plus the chance to win $200 for a special Galentine’s Day brunch.

Like Knock Knock, Create & Cultivate is a creative woman-owned business based in Los Angeles. What started out as an entrepreneurial conference series has now evolved into an online hub for the career-driven, game-changing, boss ladies out there—like you!

The winner of the Why You Really, Really Deserve This Galentine’s Giveaway will receive $500 worth of stuff:

One (1) Visa gift card for $200 to cover a delicious and amazing Galentine’s Day brunch. All you have to do is choose the spot!


Four (4) Knock Knock Galentine’s Day packages (one for you and each of your three besties!). Each package includes:

All Out Of Pad (Pink)
Pep Talk Nifty Note
XOXO Sticky Note
Send Some Friendship Fill in the Love® Postcard Set
Why You’re My Bestie Fill in the Love® Journal
#Goals Pad
Affirmators! deck
I Totally Got This Inner-Truth™ Journal
Sorry Not Sorry Sticky Notes

ENTER HERE at Create & Cultivate’s blog. The giveaway ends Tuesday, February 7. Best of luck!

12 Half-Assed Ways to Embrace Optimism

It’s about time you put some effort into positive thinking. Studies have shown that optimism can improve cardiovascular health, overall cholesterol levels, and inspire you to share more adorable videos of pandas tumbling down slides. Here are some sure-fire ways to help you see the world through rose-colored glasses—sort of.

1. If you fail, high five yourself. A lot of wildly successful people were once screwups too.

2. Fake smile more. Studies have shown that fake (and real) smiling helps release stress and improve brain cells. But only if you fake feel like it.

3. Fill out a Pep Talk Nifty Note. Then reach over and hand it to yourself. Good job.

4. Make a list of jobs worse than yours. Nuclear decontamination techs, funeral managers, sewer inspectors—we commend but do not envy you.

5. Stop “should-ing.” Replace it with “will” and see what happens. Like, “I will go to that 7:00 a.m. yoga class despite being seriously hungover right now.”

6. Free your inner dysfunction. We might be biased, but our I’m So Freaking Freaked Out Inner-Truth™ Journal or My Dysfunctions Inner-Truth™ Journal should will do the trick.

7. Give hugs, take hugs. The guy who created the Free Hugs Project knows what’s up. (Note: Not for germaphobes.)

8. Start a crappy “worry jar.” It’s a swear jar, except for crap you worry about. Every time you find yourself stressing, deposit twenty-five cents into your “worry bank” (aka that crappy mug that’s been sitting on your desk forever). You’ll save money and worry less about crap at the same time.

9. Be like Andy Warhol. Say “So what.” We’re not going to argue with Andy. Are you? “Sometimes people let the same problem make them miserable for years when they could just say, So what. That’s one of my favorite things to say. So what.”

10. Admit people suck sometimes. So what if that lady at the grocery store gave you attitude when you asked for a roll of quarters last night? Instead, be the type of person you want to be—a considerate person who usually allows another car to pass into your lane at the last minute, who occasionally leaves the last slice of cake for someone else, or just goes ahead and gives a roll of quarters to someone who desperately needs to do laundry. (We aren’t bitter at all, really.)

11. Consult your Affirmators! deck. Close your eyes, pick one card at random, and read it out loud. If you need extra affirmation-feels, self-help yourself and pick two.

12. Don’t beat yourself up (so much). Channel that self-loathing into positive, creative action—write a poem about your crappy day, learn how to knit a pussyhat, or watch a movie. We hear escapism is the new black.

And remember: when one door closes, put on a fake smile and pick its lock.

How do you stay optimistic? Tell us in a comment.

Knock Knock is in the December Book Riot Box!

Book lovers, Book Riot’s Book Mail Box #3 is out this month and there may or may not be a secret Knock Knock surprise item in the box. (Fact: there indeed is a Knock Knock item included in the box!) This Book Riot box makes a great present for the beloved bookworms in your life.

December’s theme is “Books-in-Books,” and the Book Riot team has curated items and accessories for those of you who are “into books about books.” Past packages featured novels and items from Out of Print Clothing.

Book Riot is a community of book nerds sharing news, reviews, and commentary on all-things—you guessed it—books. If you have a reading addiction, this is the virtual place to be. Follow @bookriot on Instagram for bookstagrams, snaps of your favorite local books stores, and pics from their fans, also known as “Rioters”!

OMG—We’re in Istanbul

If you’re in Turkey, you’re in luck! Your favorite maker of notepads, desk accessories, and passive-aggressive notes has set up residence in your neighborhood. We worked with our Turkey distributor Dofu Design to open the Knock Knock pop-up shop in the Kanyon Shopping Mall in Istanbul (not Constantinople). Plus, this is our first-ever pop-up shop overseas and is another step toward our plan for world-wit domination.

Where: Kanyon Shopping Mall

Address: Büyükdere Cd. No:185, 34394 Levent, Besiktas, Istanbul, Turkey

Hours: 10:00 a.m. – 10:00 p.m.

The pop-up’s ready for the holidays!

Gifts await.

Also, Kanyon Shopping Mall’s architecture was inspired by the shape of a canyon and looks exquisite inside—a great backdrop for our beloved Crap Pad.

The pop-up shop opened in October this year and will be open until mid-April in 2017. Hope you can stop by!

To get more updates from our presence in Turkey, follow Dofu Designs on Instagram (@knockknocktr). Don’t forget to show us your #knockknockstuff and you could be featured in a future post.

Knock Knock’s First True Fill in the Love Story

A few months ago we launched our Share the Love Contest, and you shared your stories of what made our Fill in the Love® Journals so special to you. Your entries were everything: honest, romantic, silly, funny, and far-out. Thank you for sharing your stories with us and spreading the love with our Fill in the Love® journals!

We selected a winner and are thrilled to announce our first ever true Fill in the Love Story, starring Zosia and her incredible dad, Tony. A huge thank you to Zosia’s mom, Sarah, for her submission. We are excited to share their sweet story with you in this short animated video. WATCH THE VIDEO.

Zosia thinks her dad Tony is totally awesome (and we can’t argue with that) so she filled out our Why You’re So Awesome Fill in the Love® Journal as a Valentine’s Day gift for him—a valentine he can cherish all year long. Our illustrated story shares actual lines Zosia wrote to describe her dad. We wish we were all tiny, little baby zebras too, Zosia!

Tony carries the journal with him every day—throughout his 24-hour shifts as a fire fighter and paramedic, and his 12-hour shifts as a nurse. Did we mention he was awesome?

Our Fill in the Love® Journals are the perfect present this season. Simply fill in the blanks and you have a personal and meaningful gift for your favorite person. Holiday shopping doesn’t get much easier than that. (You’re welcome.)

Share the story of what made our Fill in the Love® journal so special to you and/or the person you gave it to. Tag us @knockknock and use #FillintheLove and you might be featured in an upcoming Knock Knock blog post or email!

Win Knock Knock Stocking Stuffers!

‘Tis the season of giving—and getting drunk off eggnog. Happy holidays, everyone. We’re giving away over $50 worth of special holiday-themed Knock Knock items on Twitter!

One lucky winner will win everything in the pic above:

What I Love about Spending the Holidays with You Fill in the Love® Journal
To Give/To Get Perforated Pad
Holiday Vouchers*
Dear Santa Nifty Notes
Holiday Citation*
Ho-Ho-Holiday Gift Tags*
Naughty/Nice Pad

Enter for a chance to win by following us on Twitter, @knockknock, and RT’ing one of our three Knock Knock giveaway Tweets throughout the week! You have until 11:59 p.m. PST on Monday, Dec. 12 to enter. Make sure to read our Official Rules.

*These items are now sold out on our site. Win them while they’re hot!