Preeti Shenoy's Blog, page 72

June 24, 2013

The AI-1. (Post 13)

My daughter who is 12, was given a project in her class. She had to present any gadget with modifications which she wished existed. She could either take an existing gadget and write about the features she wished it had,  or she could think up of an entirely new gadget.



Of course, she chose the latter.



She invented something which she called the AI-1







This was the cover of her project.



And here is what was inside:




 






 I thought it was really creative and clever. On the right side, you can see that she has drawn a button--if you press it, the gadget turns into a small micro-chip. On the left side there is another button which if you press, it turns into a giant television with suction cups which you can then fix on a wall and watch. It also comes with a mini-pocket charger.  She has explained the other features of the gadget , as you can see.



When she came home from school, I asked her whether she presented her project and what the teacher said. My daughter just shrugged and said that the bell went before her turn came, and it would probably come in the next class.

'Never mind. You can always present it later,' I said.



But my daughter said that she was going to make a new one.



'Why? This is so good, original and clever,' I said.



She replied that another student had presented something which did not exist in the real world, and the teacher felt it was too 'virtual'. (sic)



So my daughter felt she would say the same about her gadget too.



I didn't know what to say.



__________________________________________________





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Published on June 24, 2013 06:29

The AI-1. (Post 14)

My daughter who is 12, was given a project in her class. She had to present any gadget with modifications which she wished existed. She could either take an existing gadget and write about the features she wished it had,  or she could think up of an entirely new gadget.



Of course, she chose the latter.



She invented something which she called the AI-1







This was the cover of her project.



And here is what was inside:




 






 I thought it was really creative and clever. On the right side, you can see that she has drawn a button--if you press it, the gadget turns into a small micro-chip. On the left side there is another button which if you press, it turns into a giant television with suction cups which you can then fix on a wall and watch. It also comes with a mini-pocket charger.  She has explained the other features of the gadget , as you can see.



When she came home from school, I asked her whether she presented her project and what the teacher said. My daughter just shrugged and said that the bell went before her turn came, and it would probably come in the next class.

'Never mind. You can always present it later,' I said.



But my daughter said that she was going to make a new one.



'Why? This is so good, original and clever,' I said.



She replied that another student had presented something which did not exist in the real world, and the teacher did not appreciate it much and said that it was too much of a fantasy.



So my daughter felt she would say the same about her gadget too.



I didn't know what to say.



Probably because it reminded me of the poem I wrote sometime back ' Who killed imagination'

__________________________________________________





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Published on June 24, 2013 06:29

June 23, 2013

A modern day monster (post 12)

While the Internet has totally revolutionized the way we live, making it so easy to do anything really, where everything is  literally a click away, it also has given us one of the biggest monster of our times-- FOMO.

(Click on the link to read a superbly written piece on this)



To quote from the above article:




 We are so connected with one another through our Twitter streams and
Foursquare check-ins, through our Facebook and LinkedIn updates, that we
can’t just be alone anymore. The fear of missing out (FOMO) — on
something more fun, on a social date that might just happen on the spur
of the moment — is so intense, even when we’ve decided to disconnect, we
still connect just once more, just to make sure.



A joint research study conducted by Berlin’s Humboldt University and the
Darmstadt’s Technical University reveals that spending  a large amount of time
on social networks leads to negative feelings. There are many more such studies which support this finding.



While social networks are supposed to make us feel connected, the fact is, it causes 'warped friendships'. It is so easy 'to be a friend' on facebook. Someone posts a status saying they are feeling unwell, and immediately it gets responses saying 'Awww..get well soon' etc. I am not for a moment suggesting that the wishes for a recovery are fake. What I am saying is that, it is definitely easy to post a response to this message, in a single line, having felt that 'you did something'. A true friend would call to find out how you were doing, and would probably turn up at your door-step with Khichdi  and Soup.





Users have confessed that they feel good and happy about their lives, until they log into their Facebook Accounts. These are not just teenagers, but also adults. They constantly compare themselves to the pictures which their friends posted (Oh, I had a great vacation in greece. We went to Iceland for a vacation) and then wonder what they are doing with their lives.



Many a time, Facebook also causes intense feelings of 'having been left out' when you discover that all your 'friends' went to a movie, without you, or had a party and you discovered it through Facebook.



Of course, we all only post 'our best side' on Facebook. We show only the good things. I had once posted a tweet which said that 'How come everybody is happy, smiling and having a great time' on Facebook?



While I do use Facebook extensively to interact with my readers  (I find Facebook a fantastic medium for this) I also limit the time I spend on this site.  Browsing endlessly through albums of other people whom you don't even know, I find is, such a waste of precious time.

 Time which could have been used more effectively in picking up that phone and speaking to your friend---or better still, visiting them and having real conversations.



I am truly grateful for the network of my closest friends, who I value so much.



And not a single one of them, connects with me on FB.



Our relationship is 'real' not just virtual.



 ______________________________________________________________



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Published on June 23, 2013 09:25

June 22, 2013

What do you write about? (post 11 blog marathon)

 Last evening, we had a dinner party with a couple of good friends.



There were some people whom I was meeting for the first time and who hadn't heard of me. One of them asked me 'What do you write about?'



If I were to answer honestly, I would say I write about everything. I write about a leaf fallen on a pavement that prompted me to write  a poem. I write about my guinea pigs. I write about relationships. I write about my feelings and those of others. I write about marriages.I write about places that I find interesting. I write about people I find interesting. I write funny stuff sometimes. I write inspirational stuff sometimes. Mostly I just write whatever is on top of my mind at that point in time.I write straight from the heart.



I wanted to say all of this. Instead I found myself giving the standard answer which I give when people ask me that question.  I found myself saying 'I write commercial fiction and I am one of India's popular authors.Just google my name and you will get all details.'



I really do not know if people actually care when they ask that question. Perhaps it is idle curiosity. Perhaps they are genuinely interested. Perhaps  they are not. The reactions I get from people when I say that I am an author are varied.



Most are very impressed on meeting me. They invite me to their homes  for a cup of tea (and I am always grateful for that). Some couldn't care less. Some remember my details  and then get in touch with me later,asking if I would read a manuscript written by someone they know, or they write and ask me how to get published. Some cannot believe that I am actually 'Preeti Shenoy'. :)



When I meet people, I am not even conscious that I am a popular author.



It is only when they ask what I do, that I remember!



I am of course happy and proud of all my success. But I do honestly believe I have a very long way to go yet.

____________________________________________________________________



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Published on June 22, 2013 11:00

June 21, 2013

How to deal with a difficult parent. (Blog marathon post 10)









Last evening I got this mail in
my inbox:



Dear Preeti,







I am a regular reader of your
blog and I have read  two of your books too. I



really enjoy your writing style.
But more than the style, what completely



impresses me is your great
insight about life. I love all those positive



things you write - be it about
time management, living life to the fullest



or showing your love to those
who matter.







I have been wanting to write to
you for a very long time. But I hesitated,



because we have never met or
spoken before. But now I saw that you are on a



blog marathon. So I felt this
was the right time to mail you, because you



would be obviously in the look
out for fresh topics.  I was wondering if



you could take some time out and
blog about the issue I have in my life...











I lost my Dad in an accident
when I was 4 years old and my sister was 6



years of age. We come from a
middle class family hailing from Kerala. My



mom had a government job. My mom
was a typical Indian wife who cooked and



cleaned, and had no idea
 about what happened in the outside world. After



we lost our Dad, no one came to
help us out in any way. So my mom struggled



a lot to raise me and my sister.
And I love my mom a lot for all that she



has done for us. That said, my
mom is a very unreasonable woman. Even



though she is a very caring
person, she never gives me any peace of mind.



She nags and fights with me over
every little thing in the world. I do care



a lot about her, and try hard to
keep her happy. But at  the end of it, she



still picks on something and
blames me about it. Iam tired of trying to



keep her happy all the time.







Then, I met a wonderful woman -
an attractive, fun, intelligent and genuine



person. We used to work together
in Bangalore, fell in love and got



married. After marriage, I moved
to the Middle East, because I got a better



job offer. And I took my mom and
wife with me. And ever since we got



married, things have got worse.
My mom and wife are always at logger heads.



Initially, my wife was very
understanding and supportive. She used to



silently deal with my mom, and
she was actually sympathetic towards my mom.



Infact, she used to even mediate
the fights between me and my mom. But



after a while, my wife could
take no longer.







Now the scene in my house is
very chaotic. There is not a single day I can



remain peaceful in my life. I do
know that most of the time it is my mom



who is at fault. But she is
beyond any reasoning or logic. Since my wife is



an intelligent woman, I tell her
to be more understanding. But my wife says



that Iam being very cruel to
her, by closing my eyes to my mom's rudeness.



Now things have reached a point
where my mom and wife can't stand each



other. My wife is an independent
woman who likes to live her life on her



own terms. And my mom is of the
old school and believes in controlling both



me and my wife. She doesn't let
us enjoy any couple time. She creates a big



hue and cry when I take my wife
out. I do know that we are entitled to



couple time. And I don't blame
my wife for wanting it. But since my mom is



reacting very strongly against
it, I find it very hard to take my wife out.







I don't know how to balance this
situation. My mom is old and lonely in her



life. She is overtly dependent
on me for everything. And she doesn't want



to live away from me. I can't
afford to provide her a different home with



all amenities in the Middle
East. I will have to send her back to Kerala.



But I know that she won't be
able to cope with that at all. And even I



don't have the heart to do it. I
love my mom very dearly.







But I love my wife also very
much. She is adamant that she doesn't want to



live with my mom anymore. I know
its unfair to tell my wife to tolerate my



unreasonable mom. My wife is a
really lovely person, and my mom has hurt



her many times.  But my mom
has lived all her life and sacrificed all her



happiness for me and my sister.
I want them both, and I want them both to



be happy.







Whenever you are looking for
something to blog about, can u pls blog about



my situation? I would really
like to hear your feedback about it. I  do



feel that you have a great way
of dealing with difficulties in life. And I



feel that since you are both a
wife and a mother, you would understand the



perspective of both my wife and
mom. My wife is an independent thinking,



open-minded woman of today. But
my mom is a narrow-minded, conservative,



dependent person. Feel free to
share this mail on your blog, but pls don't



disclose my full name.. If
someone has a



similar experience, it would be
great to read their experience in your



comment box.







Thank-you so much for reading
it. I am really looking forward to your



suggestions and tips.



Warm Regards













After reading the mail, I felt I
had to publish it in my blog.



Here is my take on this
situation.



Dear Reader who has requested to
be anonymous,



Firstly I understand your pain
and frustration, and deep sense of duty towards your mother. Your mother raised
you and your sister, after your father passed away, and you feel extremely
duty-bound towards her, because of this. As a son you have been really dutiful
and you have brought her along with you to the Middle East. Your wife has tried
her best to be understanding and sweet towards your mother, but both of you are
now at your wits end, because of your mother's unreasonable behaviour.



By going on giving in to your
mother's demands, you have inadvertently set yourself up for the 'victim'
role.  I am sorry to say this so frankly--but your mother is definitely
bullying you. You are unable to say a firm NO to her. There are constant fights
between your mother and you and you have said that your wife used to even
mediate between you two. I must say your wife is a remarkably understanding
woman.





Perhaps your mother is
subconsciously projecting her  frustrations on to you? It must definitely
not have been easy for her to raise you and your sister by herself. She must be
having a lot of suppressed pain and emotions, which she does not know how to
deal with. It comes out in her interactions with you, as you are the closest to
her. (we are usually our true selves only to the ones closest to us)





You have not mentioned what your
sister does. Is she earning? Can you not send your mother to your sister's
place for 6 months of the year, and then keep her with you , for the remaining
six?



You also have not mentioned
whether your mother has any siblings or not. Can your mother not spend a month
or two with a sibling?



I understand your mother is old.
But by letting her being overtly dependent on you, to the point of it affecting
your marriage--that is just not done. No matter how much she has sacrificed for
you and your sister, rudeness is just not acceptable---especially towards your
children, who love you!



As much as we love our parents,
we have to realize  that we are really not responsible for our adult
parent's happiness. What you are trying to do is parent your mother (By trying
to be everything for her)--and that is simply not possible. Quit trying to make
her happy all the time. You cannot do that. She has to take responsibility for
her happiness--ALLOW her to do so. (Right now, from what I gather, the moment
she wants you to 'fix something', whether, real or imagined, you rush and
oblige.Stop doing that.) Do not allow her to pick on you.



You will definitely have to put
your foot down and tell your mother that you have to take your wife out. She
might resist in the beginning. Be firm but kind towards your mother. Be patient
towards her. Don't fight with her. Just smile and say "Yeah mama--I will be
back at so-and-so time and we are going to so-and-so place." She is bound
to throw a huge tantrum probably. Be prepared for it. But whatever disapproval
she expresses, don't react or retort. Just smile. (This is easy to say but very
very hard to follow, I know..because this is what I try to do)



Your wife is a woman who fell in
love with you--and you too love her a lot and appreciate her so much. Keep that
love alive. Guard it. Do not allow negativity to cloud that. It is precious.
Tell your wife how much you appreciate her. Hold her hand. Take her for drives
(if you own a car). tell her how beautiful she looks, and how much you admire
her intelligence.



Tell your mother that you love
her a lot, but you will not tolerate negativity, fault-finding and rudeness.
And sending her to Kerala for 6 months or 3 months or whatever time-frame you
choose, is really not being cruel, provided she is in a safe and comfortable
place. So don't feel guilty about it.



I do hope my words have helped.

May your home be filled with
love and peace. 

 Sending you positive
vibes.

Love

Preeti



I do invite all of you, to comment
with your take on the situation. Do share your thoughts. If you want to remain anonymous, you can. (All it takes is a valid e-mail id for commenting on this
blog. Name need not be disclosed)







Sharing is empowering.







Do offer your thoughts, and
perhaps they will help this person who has reached out and is asking for help.







I look forward to your comments





_____________________________________________________________

 To Buy my books in India, click here.

To buy my books on Amazon click
here










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Published on June 21, 2013 08:56

June 20, 2013

Two unforgettable scenes. (Post 9. Blog marathon)

Today I thought I would share two of my favourite scenes from movies I have loved. (Oh there are hundreds--but I thought I would share two)



Here goes:













Loved this one! Unforgettable scene from scent of a woman (next to probably only the Tango scene)Al pacino is fantastic in this one. Totally captures how you should view life.  Live it to the fullest! This scene is such a pick-me-up'. Awesome!











This one from 'The pursuit of Happyness' is so darn inspirational.. "Don't listen to anyone. You got a dream, you have to protect it. People can't so something--they want to tell you, you can't do it."
















If you haven't seen these two movies, go watch them now~!

____________________________________________________



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Published on June 20, 2013 07:48

June 19, 2013

Life's detours. (Post 8, blog marathon)





Today a good friend, again a best-selling author of children's books, Sonja Chandrachud called me up.





Sonja with one of her books





Sonja was the one who launched my book Tea for two and a piece of cake , at Pune and she had conducted the session beautifully.(She totally loved the book too :) )



We had a very long, lovely and interesting conversation. I always enjoy my conversations with my Author friends (like mentioned in yesterday's post ). It is wonderful to talk to minds that have so much to offer. I find it very stimulating.



One of the things Sonja and I discussed was about how we make plans and yet life takes you in a completely different direction. She shared her experiences and I shared mine. Both of us concluded that trying to control everything in our lives, is really an exercise in futility.



Does that mean you have to stop making plans and trying to get to your goal, as everything is pre-destined? No! Certainly not.



It just means that you have to be open-minded enough to enjoy the detours that life throws at you. The road may be long and winding. The road may not take you to where you want to go. But what would really make a difference is how you ride the path, and how willing are you to make the best use of the destination the path has taken you to, and then make plans as to how to now reach the original goal (which may have shifted by then).  Complicated, isn't it?



I for one, am glad that I have such a wonderful support system--family which stands by me, friends who love me a lot and folks like you who shower me with so much adulation/love/fan-mails etc.



I think no matter what you achieve in life, it will always be sweeter when you have people in your life who genuinely care for you.



If you are blessed enough to have even one such person, appreciate them and let them know. Keep in touch with them. Call them and connect to them. (Not just through Facebook or whatsapp!). Go see them in person and spend time with them.



And sometimes, when things do not go your way, take a deep breath and let go!



And yes, while you are at it, try to see the good in the detours.

____________________________________________________________



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To buy my books on Amazon click here








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Published on June 19, 2013 09:47

June 18, 2013

Change (Blog marathon post 7)



“Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody.”


             ―
Stephen Chbosky,

The Perks of Being a Wallflower 




This morning I was thinking about change. Change is the only constant thing in life. I guess this is true for every one. Take yourself to 18th June 2008--basically, rewind your life,  five years back and answer these questions:




What were you doing ?  
Who were your closest friends? Are they still in your life with the same closeness?
Where were you living?
Were you more satisfied and content then than you are now? Why or why not?



If I were to answer it, my answers would be as follows:



1. I had just written my first article for Readers Digest and was very pleased about it. I was elated to be published by a magazine of such repute and stature. It was a dream come true.



2. My closest friends of that period --they aren't that close to me anymore. I am still in touch with them--but it is an ocassional 'hello--how are you'. Their lives have taken them in a different direction and I have gone in a completely different direction; (Things change, Friends leave).



3. I was living in Pune at that time



4. No--I am definitely more content and happier now, because I am so much more successful and well-known today, than I was back then.



Today I had a long and a very enriching conversation with a  fellow-author and a good friend Ravi Subramanian. (The best-selling author of Bankster,  If God was a Banker  and three more books). It was wonderful to talk about writing and other stuff.



After I hung up, I sat for a very long time, thinking about how authors are now my good friends  and how much my life has changed.



Then a quote from a movie came to my head. It was so relevant, so apt and made so much sense that I had to share it with you.




“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to
be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you
want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing.
We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of
it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things
you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of
view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re
not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.”



Eric Roth,

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button screenplay




I think every now and then, we ought to pause and explore our options. We ought to assess our opportunities and  we should think about whether the path we have taken will get us towards our goal. We may not always stick to the path--after all life is so darn unpredicatble.



But I do believe that if you go through life, without much thinking about what you want from it, then you grow old quickly.



Change--Pursue it, Woo it and Make it your own. It is hard in the beginning--but oh the rewards!

 And may all success be yours.

____________________________________________________________

To Buy my books in India, click here.


To buy my books on Amazon click here





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Published on June 18, 2013 10:19

June 17, 2013

Two pictures that show patience. (Post 6 of blog marathon)

My soul is happy when I create stuff--be it a picture, a book(a novel) , a poem---anything really which makes my internal world a happier place.



If I don't create stuff, I  feel shriveled up from the inside. I can spend hours and hours by myself, sitting at my desk--listening to music and creating art. I don't much crave company .(unless it is of close friends who have known me for ages)



I am going to show you two things which I made, which i was quite pleased about..







I didn't know what I was making when I started out. I just kept going and this is what emerged. I quite like it :) It was a LOT of work and needed a tremendous amount of patience.

















I liked the idea of the cat waiting patient;y, sitting so still, gazing out of the window. I like the idea of waiting for something. In today's 'instant-fix' times, I think sometimes, this stillness is good.



Today I am a happy soul :)

 Hope your day has been pleasant as well.





And till tomorrow, stay safe, peaceful and blessed.



________________________________________________________________ 

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Published on June 17, 2013 10:11

June 16, 2013

Weird Questions Meme. Blog marathon post 5.

It's been quite a while since I did memes on my blog. So for today's post,  I thought I would do one  from Sunday Stealing as today is a Sunday. Besides, the questions also are different from the ones I usually get in my Interviews :) (I get tired of answering the same questions over and over! "How did you get into writing?" "Where do you get your inspiration from" "How do you manage doing so many things." "What are your future plans" "What is your book about" etc etc)




Here goes the weird questions meme  from Sunday stealing:





What is your ring size?

I have no idea! I wear three rings though. One belongs to my dad (hence a Man's ring) and one is a diamond one gifted by Satish, and the third is a kind of a stone.



How often do you wear jewelry?

 

Every day mostly. But on some days, I don't.




When was the last time you consumed alcohol?

 

Last evening. (and no it wasn't Vodka.).





Any big plans for the summer?

 

 Summer is still a year away.





What is your favorite comfort food?

 

Curd rice! I can eat it anytime.





Do you prefer broccoli or asparagus?

 

 Broccoli please.






What color are your bedroom walls?

 

 Pale Cream  and they have some absolutely marvelous paintings by Niall Young.



With whom do you live?

 

Family..Husband, kids, dog and a guinea pig :)



Which Star Wars movie is your favorite?



I hate Star wars.



How about Harry Potter?

 

 I hate Harry Potter too.



What was the last movie you saw in theaters?

 

yeh jawaani hai deewani



Did you get the popcorn or candy?

Pop-corn.  I hate candy. (just realised that i seem to hate most things most people like- for instance, Star-wars, Harry Potter and Candy)



What is the most romantic text in your inbox?

 

 Do people text anymore? They use only whatsapp and chaton and bbm, I thought. I don't know about 'most romantic text'  but I did get a marriage proposal on FB recently. I laughed my head off.



Have you ever played miniature golf on a date?

 

Never even played normal golf. last time I played Golf was on a video game.



What’s a phrase you overuse?

 

'Lissssen..you aren't listening' is something I use often which reveals a lot about how much my family actually listens when I say something. No wonder I write so many books. At least my readers listen to me. heh heh :D




Do you always use good grammar?



Only when I am writing something. In messages I use words like ain't and coz and U.



Do you have an accent or a speech impediment?

 



Wrote a whole post on Accents here



What did you eat today?

 



 Upma for breakfast , pav-bhaji for lunch and Chinese for dinner. I made the breakfast and dinner. Ate out for the afternoon meal.







What do you do at work?

 

I dream and imagine stuff.



Do you know the rules to any sports?

I should think so. I played basketball at National level many years back. Unless of course they have changed the rules since my time. heh heh :D



Do you prefer to watch or play sports?

 

Definitely play.



What is your favorite kind of hat to wear?

 

If I had to wear a hat, it would be a cowboy hat.



Do you pray?

 

Yes. Mostly Every day.




To whom do you pray?

 

To the Universe, to the higher powers, to Lord Vishnu, To Infant Jesus, To Goddess at Chottanikara temple in Kerala , to my dad.



What is the closest mountain to your house?

 



Doddabeta Mountain (8650 feet) ,which is about 197 kms from Bangalore, which is where I now live.




What size engine is in your vehicle?

 

 2ZR-FE, Gasoline, 4 cylinder inline.16 Valve, DOHC, Dual VVT-i(Dual Variable) 1798 cm³ (cc)

(Oh how I love google :D )



What do you need to do tomorrow?

 Need to  walk, exercise, write, create, cook, read and try to be more happy.



 ___________________________________________________________



I enjoyed answering the questions on this meme.. Try it--it's fun!

And if you don't blog, feel free to use my comment box to answer these weird questions.

 ____________________________________________________________________

   

To Buy my books in India, click here.


To buy my books on Amazon click here






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Published on June 16, 2013 10:34