Preeti Shenoy's Blog, page 35

How to escape emotional pain (post 30)

A54-year-old plastic surgeon, Dr Ashok Raj Koul, who is known for advanced surgeries like such as reconstruction of breast and Brachia Plexus injuries, committed suicide on Thursday by jumping off the 10th floor of his residential apartment complex in Bangalore. His colleagues were shocked. He was supposed to have performed two surgeries later that day. He is survived by his wife, who is also a doctor, and two daughters, one studying abroad and the other a student of class 10. In another incident, a 76-year-old retired bank manager leapt to his death from his ninth floor apartment. His wife said he had been depressed over his failing health because of his age.

Each year, around the time of the declaration examination results, there are a few cases of student suicides reported. For some time, there is anguish expressed over social media as well as in newspapers and television, about how we should not pressurise our young people about their academic results. The furore dies down after a few days, only for the whole saga to play itself out the following year, this time with different names, different faces.

One of the suicide prevention websites snehaindia.org states that in India, 1,00,000 people commit suicide each year, and every five minutes, someone in India attempts to commit suicide, making it the third major cause of death. They also dispel myths about suicides, one of the biggest being that people, who commit suicide do not talk about it. The fact is people do talk about it, and anyone who mentions it, should be taken seriously. Also it is a myth that most suicidal people have absolute intent of dying. The fact is they take a gamble with death and are ambivalent about living. If the moment passes, they can be saved as they may retain a desire to live. Also, just because someone has attempted to commit suicide, it does not mean that they will remain suicidal forever. In many the suicidal thoughts never return. Everybody who attempts to kill himself or herself is not mentally ill, though some might be. A suicide attempt just indicates deep unhappiness. Suicide also does not happen without warning. Most suicidal people give indications of their intent with words or actions, but the ones closest to them, miss the cue.

Read more.....
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How to escape emotinal pain (post 30)

A54-year-old plastic surgeon, Dr Ashok Raj Koul, who is known for advanced surgeries like such as reconstruction of breast and Brachia Plexus injuries, committed suicide on Thursday by jumping off the 10th floor of his residential apartment complex in Bangalore. His colleagues were shocked. He was supposed to have performed two surgeries later that day. He is survived by his wife, who is also a doctor, and two daughters, one studying abroad and the other a student of class 10. In another incident, a 76-year-old retired bank manager leapt to his death from his ninth floor apartment. His wife said he had been depressed over his failing health because of his age.

Each year, around the time of the declaration examination results, there are a few cases of student suicides reported. For some time, there is anguish expressed over social media as well as in newspapers and television, about how we should not pressurise our young people about their academic results. The furore dies down after a few days, only for the whole saga to play itself out the following year, this time with different names, different faces.

One of the suicide prevention websites snehaindia.org states that in India, 1,00,000 people commit suicide each year, and every five minutes, someone in India attempts to commit suicide, making it the third major cause of death. They also dispel myths about suicides, one of the biggest being that people, who commit suicide do not talk about it. The fact is people do talk about it, and anyone who mentions it, should be taken seriously. Also it is a myth that most suicidal people have absolute intent of dying. The fact is they take a gamble with death and are ambivalent about living. If the moment passes, they can be saved as they may retain a desire to live. Also, just because someone has attempted to commit suicide, it does not mean that they will remain suicidal forever. In many the suicidal thoughts never return. Everybody who attempts to kill himself or herself is not mentally ill, though some might be. A suicide attempt just indicates deep unhappiness. Suicide also does not happen without warning. Most suicidal people give indications of their intent with words or actions, but the ones closest to them, miss the cue.

Read more.....
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Take care of yourself. (post 29)

Most of us have been raised to 'be nice' to others. We have ingrained it to such an extent that we know no other way. Even when someone puts us down, we second guess and say to ourselves 'Maybe they didn't mean it that way..Maybe I am over-reacting'.

Here's the thing: If you felt bad about something that someone said, what is important is not how they meant it, it is how YOU felt about it.  People make disparaging remarks, out of envy. Sometimes, they are veiled. They are not direct references.

I remember one time when I had made an extra effort to dress up well, to meet a friend. She greeted me and enthused about how stylish I looked. Then in the very next breath, she went on to tell me about how my ear-rings did not match what I wore as a pendant or some such thing. I told her it was my choice, and that was the way I liked it. I closed the topic. Another time, I was telling  another friend, about how I wore only sarees to an International lit fest, as I was representing India. That person immediately made a reference to her friend, who did that at an international conference and someone told her that 'It was too much and she was overdoing it.'   I found that veiled reference  and indirect put-down interesting.
I don't think anyone has the right to comment upon other people's choices! How they dress is upto them.  If you do not approve, you can look the other way.
I detest unsolicited advice on the sartorial or any other  choices that I make.

Comments from close friends are one thing. But when someone you barely know, puts you down, it's time to 'not be nice'. Just walk away.
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True friends! (post 28)

“I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let's face it, friends make life a lot more fun.” Charles R Swindoll

I met with my good friends Shinie Antony and Vani Mahesh today, both of who are excellent writers. In addtion to being the author of several books, Shinie is also the co-founder of Bangalore literature festival. Vani Mahesh  is an expert on Mythology and she writes mythology. Many of the Amar Chitra Kathas that you read would probably have been authored by her. She si a walking talking encyclopaedia on Puranas and things like that.
They have also co-authored a book, A Kingdom For His Love  which carried a quote by me on the cover!

We  were meeting after a long time, as all of us are immersed in our careers and other things, and we lead very busy lives.
But oh the joy when we met! (as is evident from this picture)
We felt so wonderful, and I feel blessed to have such friendships. (Friendship is a common theme in many of my novels and I feel great to have such good friends)
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I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let's face it, friends make life a lot more fun. Charles R. Swindoll
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/qu... cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let's face it, friends make life a lot more fun. Charles R. Swindoll
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/qu... cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let's face it, friends make life a lot more fun. Charles R. Swindoll
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/to... cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let's face it, friends make life a lot more fun. Charles R. Swindoll
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/to...
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Life's little gifts (post 27)

Each and every day, I have to take my four legged baby for her walks and I have to take her at least twice a day. I have a doberman (Pics in the previous post) and she is an inquisitive explorer.
She goes so fast sniffing everything, and I have to break into a run to keep up with her.

She finds the most peculiar things---discarded banana peels, garden lizards and frogs.
But today she had a lovely little gift for me.
She found a miniature Betty boop!




Betty Boop proudly stands on my desk now.  She was lost, discarded, forgotten by someone. Now she has found a home :)
What can I say? I am grateful for life's little gifts.
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Glipmses of my Sunday--A picture post (post 26)

Each morning. I walk my  four legged baby. She is HUGE.  Everyone gets scared of her. She is a doberman after all.
This picture here, where she is standing next to my daughter (who is even taller than me!) gives you an idea of how big my four-legged baby is.


She is always next to me, when I work. She mostly acts as my arm rest, but sometimes lies next to my feet. Either way, she has to STICK to me. The doberman is also called a Velcro dog.
Here's another picture.

 

It was my snapchat story too. (follow me on snap preeti.shenoy)


We went out for a lovely drive today. I love how GREEN my Bangalore is.


And that is how my Sunday was.
Relaxed. Serene. peaceful.

How was yours?
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Gossip Girl. Serena or Blair (post 25)

Rarely do I watch television. There are very few TV shows that I have watched completely, that too on Netflix, long after all the episodes were out. One of the TV shows was Breaking Bad and the other was Stranger things.

Of late, one show  that my daughter has got me hooked to, is Gossip Girl. It is a teen show about a set of  high school students in Upper Manhattan, but strangely I like it!

We had an argument recently about which character in the TV show was better--Serena or Blair. I made a poll and my daughter said that I shouldn't disclose which character, I supported lest I bias the voters. Fair enough, I agreed.

So I have put up a poll on twitter or if you aren't on Twitter you can see it on my FB page too :)

Vote if you have watched Gossip Girl! There are about 11 hours left.


That's my fun post for today :) It's day 25 of blog marathon. Thank you for reading!

See you tomorrow!
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Dance away your Friday evening.(post 24)

The whole of today, I have been submerged in work, coming up gasping only for air. One of the things that I am doing is completely re-working 34 Bubblegums and Candies which was my first book. It is almost a new book now! I have added many new stories, completely taken out a few and then edited heavily. I really like how it is turning out now. It will soon be launched with a new cover and a new title. Will update you when that happens.

Also have been commissioned for a very exciting project, very close to my heart, by an International Travel magazine. I love the work I am doing for them. However, I won't be able to tell you details yet.

Then there's my newspaper column which kept  me busy.

After being buried in work for more than 12 hours, I want something peppy, something fun. So here's one of my favourite dance videos :) It's an old one. I have no idea what the words mean, but it sure makes me want to get up and join in.
Enjoy!




Have a great weekend! will be back tomorrow.
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Tidy up! (post 23)

 There are many people, who can function well no matter what their surroundings are. It might be messy, chaotic, noisy (think hostel rooms) but it doesn't affect them at all.
But for me, what I am surrounded with matters.
I like clean organised spaces. I like minimalism. I like being surrounded by things that are mean something to me.

One book which I HIGHLY recommend is the Life Changing Magic of Tidying up by Marie Kondo.  The Konmari method works like a charm. I have used it with  amazing results.


My home is full of things that has  for me. I share with you an  old interview which I did sometime back, which gives you a tiny  glimpse of my home. (I had written only 5 books when this was shot..Now I have written 8)







I do believe objects you surround yourself with make a difference. If the stuff and the chaos makes you happy, keep it!
But if it doesn't go read the book I recommend and then ACT on it!
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When you are not ready for marriage. An exclusive extract from It's All In The Planets. (post 22)

My post for today----An exclusive extract only for my blog readers  from It's All In The Planets.


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Nidhi


I sink into my leather recliner chair, fold my legs, take a sip of the whiskey, and dial Tara’s number.‘Hey there, sunshine. How goes everything?’ Her voice itself has the power to soothe me.‘Hey, Tara. Not so good.’‘Why? What happened?’‘It seems like a repeat of the Vir saga all over again,’ I sigh.‘Oh no. Why?’‘Manoj says he is shifting to the US and expects me to join him. He wants us to get married within a month.’‘And?’‘And what? I am not ready, Tara. How can you get married when you aren’t ready?’There is a small pause from her side as she processes the information. Then she says, ‘Yeah, you can’t. You have to be completely willing. You have to be eager to get married. You have to want it more than anything else you have ever wanted in your life. I know, because that’s what I felt when I was marrying your dad. I was a little older than you then, and never had I been more certain about anything in my life. I was on fire. It was like I had been sleeping all my life, and the relationship with your dad had brought me alive. You have to feel that for a person, Nidhi. Or else things will collapse after a few years. I have seen far too many marriages breaking up. I know what I am talking about.’‘Yes, I knew you would understand Tara.’‘So, what are you going to do about it?’‘I don’t know. I told him I need time.’‘And what did he say?’‘He said yes, but I know he is hoping I will change my mind. You know how keen he is to get married. His love for me is true and deep.’‘I know, my darling Nidhi. But the question that you have to ask yourself is whether you love him the same way.’I am silent for a few minutes. Tara’s question has thrown me completely off-guard.I had presumed until now that my love for him was a given, an unquestionable factor. Now I wasn’t so sure. If I loved him so much, why wasn’t my heart singing at the prospect of marriage? Was I commitment-phobic? Or had Vir scarred me too much?‘Hello, are you there, Nidhi?’ asks Tara.‘Yes. I was thinking about what you said. You’re right, I need to ask myself that question. I do love him. Or at least I think I do. But this marriage thing scares me.’‘Then wait. Do not jump into it. If he genuinely loves you, he will wait. Give it time.’‘What if we grow apart like it happened with Vir?’‘So what? At least you know you weren’t making a mistake by marrying him. And yes, you must remember that Vir happened at a different time in your life. You were much younger, busy building a career. You don’t have that pressure now. You are certain about what you want to do. You have time for yourself now. And when two people love each other, they will always make time. Let this be the acid test of your relationship. Tell him to move and that you will stay here till you are ready to join him.’I tell her I will, and after I hang up I rock back and forth in my recliner chair, thinking about it.Talking to Tara always helps put things in perspective. 

 



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