Preeti Shenoy's Blog, page 27
February 15, 2018
A simple way to diffuse someone's anger
It's strange how many people cannot see the other person's point of view. They are convinced that only their world view is the 'right one'.
As a writer, I have to understand the motivation of my characters. Always, I have to put myself in the shoes of all my characters and see it from their perspective. In my latest book A Hundred Little Flames , most readers see Jairaj as a villain. Yet, when I had created him, I did not think of him as villainous. He had his reasons.He does care for his father, as he has arranged for his medical care, sends money and calls regularly. SPOILER ALERT: (Skip the next line if you haven't read the book) Also, when the Police come, he does support his father.
But most readers identify so strongly with Ayan and Gopal Shanker that any action of Jairaj or Shaila is seen without the lens of empathy.
In life too, we tend to do that. If it's a person we like, we tend to overlook their faults, quite a bit. If it's a person we dislike, the smallest thing that they do becomes a huge problem. We turn a huge blind eye to all their redeeming qualities. Don't you agree?
The next time someone is angry with you or upset with you, try and see it from their point of view, instead of reacting. Just smile and say 'Yes, you are right, and I have been such an idiot.'
And watch them melt!
___________________________
Buy my books: http://preeti.io/amazon
Photo by CloudVisual on Unsplash
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February 14, 2018
How Tinder changed Valentine. ( An excerpt from #WhyWeLoveTheWayWeDo)
How Tinder changed Valentine
It is the month of February and there was no escaping the most important day of the month. Yes, Valentine’s.
With Valentine’s Day preparations gathering momentum all around us like a particularly large balloon being inflated for a children’s birthday party, there was going to be no respite from the tacky hearts, splashes of red and declarations of undying love through every medium possible for the next two weeks. Each year, the real frenzy starts a week before V-day, with each successive day being declared as Rose Day, Propose Day, Chocolate Day, Teddy Day, Promise Day, Kiss Day, Hug Day and finally the queen mother of all—Valentine’s Day.
Until recently I was only vaguely aware of the existence of Valentine’s Day, with it stirring a few memories of the time I was in college and all of us used to dress in red and wait with bated breath to see which guy would send us a Valentine’s Day card. I distinctly remember the year when about fourteen girls in my class were all delighted at having received a dozen red roses. They were all very excited until they compared notes and discovered that it was the same guy who had sent similar cards to all fourteen girls! I guess he was hedging his bets—out of the fourteen chosen ones, even if one said yes, he would be content. I don’t know if he was foolish or smart but he was crazy for sure.
Today, I see my timeline on my social media pages flooded with various days prefixed with names of various things cute, and tons of pictures of satisfied twenty-somethings and teeny boppers posing with their cherished treasures of roses, teddies and what not, declaring gratitude and happiness to be loved so much. Welcome to modern-day Valentine’s—where the worth of your love is judged by the size of the teddy bear that you have been able to gift your loved one. (What, no teddy bear? You don’t love me!)
The commercial enterprises cash in on this completely. Everything from pressure cookers to treadmills to real estate to lingerie has taken on a Valentine’s Day spin. Do you love your wife? Surprise her with a pressure cooker this Valentine. Do you love your family? Gift them the perfect home this Valentine. I am certain St. Valentine, the saint who married off lovers in secret, never envisaged the way this celebration would turn out to be one of the biggest consumer holidays. Today an estimated one billion Valentine cards are sent out each year, which is more than on any other holiday, except for Christmas. More than thirty-five million heart-shaped boxes of chocolate are sold and more than two hundred and twenty million red roses are produced just for the holiday. In the US alone, about twenty billion dollars are spent on Valentine’s Day. That the day holds great
importance for those in love is corroborated by the fact that about six million couples are likely to get engaged on 14 February.
While all this expression of love via teddy bears is okay for those hopelessly in love, what about the singles who still haven’t found ‘The One’? Fret not, for the marketers, those clever people, haven’t forgotten them at all. A pub in Dublin hosted a Tinder party for singles this Valentine’s. They offered users of this dating app a free glass of champagne if they showed up at the bar and flashed their Tinder profile. Since other users of Tinder would be assembled there too, one could easily find a potential partner right there and you could be hooking up with someone on Valentine’s Day. They called it ‘Love Me Tinder’ night, a play on one of the most popular love songs on Valentine’s Day, Elvis Presley’s Love Me Tender. Most people who dedicate that song to their partner would have gone through the various stages of romance like flirting, dating, courtship and finally the declaration of love. This takes a few months at the very least. But for those at the bar, in search of love or its alias, there is no need to wait. Romance here is manufactured with a single swipe—‘I like you, you’re it, let’s hook-up, it’s Valentine’s Day’, and you have a partner within moments of meeting each other.
At the other extreme are anti-Valentine’s Day parties, such as the one hosted by a pub in Los Angeles, which had voodoo dolls, some piñata aggression-release therapy and prizes for the worst ‘got-dumped’ stories. Thus you had company if you were recently dumped, and you didn’t have to sit at home brooding.
Whether you are in love or standing on the periphery waiting to jump in, or have escaped with singes or sometimes third-degree burns, there is a Valentine’s just for you. I wouldn’t be surprised if the local vegetable seller started packing potatoes and onions in heart-shaped baskets especially for Valentine’s Day. After all, it is a splendid marketing opportunity and no true-blue salesman would let go of the chance to jump on the bandwagon and peddle his ware, laced with hearts and the promise of everlasting love.
Never mind what happens later.
The hope of finding that elusive thing is the fuel we all thrive on.
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Excerpt from my Non-fiction book on relationships: Why We Love The Way We Do
Buy it HERE
pic credit: Rawpixel from Unsplash
Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/
February 13, 2018
How you could be harming yourself without intending to.
" Words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth,' said V in V for Vendetta.
I love words. I make a living out of words. Words are powerful. You can begin revolutions with words. You can also crush a spirit, hurt, maim, wound, leave a scar on the soul emblazoned forever, unleashing a fresh wave of pain, each time you remember the words that caused them.
I think it is important to choose your words with care. To think before you speak.
Because they mean something, signify something.
Sometimes, we use them before thinking. Something which we did not mean slips out, in a manner which we never intended. It is out there, hanging in the air, like a shroud.
One of my mother's favourite sayings is that 'If an object slips from your hands, you can quickly retrieve it. But once your words slip out, they can never be taken back.' So true.
I have just finished reading Sonia Choquette's book 'Your Heart's Desire.'
She talks about how powerful our words can be. She says
What are the words that you constantly tell yourself? Ever thought about it?
Do think about if you haven't . Are they positive? Are they critical? Are they negative?
Are you harming yourself with the words you use?
I leave you with one of my favourite songs from a boy band, I used to listen to in my college days.
Share YOUR Words with me in comments. I would love to hear what you think.
_______________________________________
Buy my books http://preeti.io/amazon
Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/
I love words. I make a living out of words. Words are powerful. You can begin revolutions with words. You can also crush a spirit, hurt, maim, wound, leave a scar on the soul emblazoned forever, unleashing a fresh wave of pain, each time you remember the words that caused them.
I think it is important to choose your words with care. To think before you speak.
Because they mean something, signify something.
Sometimes, we use them before thinking. Something which we did not mean slips out, in a manner which we never intended. It is out there, hanging in the air, like a shroud.
One of my mother's favourite sayings is that 'If an object slips from your hands, you can quickly retrieve it. But once your words slip out, they can never be taken back.' So true.
I have just finished reading Sonia Choquette's book 'Your Heart's Desire.'
She talks about how powerful our words can be. She says
Words create everything, because words are the embodiment of thought. They announce all that you focus on, all that you believe. They define your inner landscape and reveal your degree of commitment. Words reveal your beliefs and express your enthusiasm. Words come from fear or from faith. They are the summary of your creative efforts in motion, the energetic substance that channels Universal spirit and forms your physical experience. The words you choose are programmed to release power and life force into whatever they express." (from "Your Heart's Desire: Instructions for Creating the Life You Really Want" by Sonia Choquette)The above words rang very true for me.
What are the words that you constantly tell yourself? Ever thought about it?
Do think about if you haven't . Are they positive? Are they critical? Are they negative?
Are you harming yourself with the words you use?
I leave you with one of my favourite songs from a boy band, I used to listen to in my college days.
Share YOUR Words with me in comments. I would love to hear what you think.
_______________________________________
Buy my books http://preeti.io/amazon
Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/
Why you could be harming yourself without intending to.
" Words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth,' said V in V for Vendetta.
I love words. I make a living out of words. Words are powerful. You can begin revolutions with words. You can also crush a spirit, hurt, maim, wound, leave a scar on the soul emblazoned forever, unleashing a fresh wave of pain, each time you remember the words that caused them.
I think it is important to choose your words with care. To think before you speak.
Because they mean something, signify something.
Sometimes, we use them before thinking. Something which we did not mean slips out, in a manner which we never intended. It is out there, hanging in the air, like a shroud.
One of my mother's favourite sayings is that 'If an object slips from your hands, you can quickly retrieve it. But once your words slip out, they can never be taken back.' So true.
I have just finished reading Sonia Choquette's book 'Your Heart's Desire.'
She talks about how powerful our words can be. She says
What are the words that you constantly tell yourself? Ever thought about it?
Do think about if you haven't . Are they positive? Are they critical? Are they negative?
Are you harming yourself with the words you use?
I leave you with one of my favourite songs from a boy band, I used to listen to in my college days.
Share YOUR Words with me in comments. I would love to hear what you think.
_______________________________________
Buy my books http://preeti.io/amazon
Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/
I love words. I make a living out of words. Words are powerful. You can begin revolutions with words. You can also crush a spirit, hurt, maim, wound, leave a scar on the soul emblazoned forever, unleashing a fresh wave of pain, each time you remember the words that caused them.
I think it is important to choose your words with care. To think before you speak.
Because they mean something, signify something.
Sometimes, we use them before thinking. Something which we did not mean slips out, in a manner which we never intended. It is out there, hanging in the air, like a shroud.
One of my mother's favourite sayings is that 'If an object slips from your hands, you can quickly retrieve it. But once your words slip out, they can never be taken back.' So true.
I have just finished reading Sonia Choquette's book 'Your Heart's Desire.'
She talks about how powerful our words can be. She says
Words create everything, because words are the embodiment of thought. They announce all that you focus on, all that you believe. They define your inner landscape and reveal your degree of commitment. Words reveal your beliefs and express your enthusiasm. Words come from fear or from faith. They are the summary of your creative efforts in motion, the energetic substance that channels Universal spirit and forms your physical experience. The words you choose are programmed to release power and life force into whatever they express." (from "Your Heart's Desire: Instructions for Creating the Life You Really Want" by Sonia Choquette)The above words rang very true for me.
What are the words that you constantly tell yourself? Ever thought about it?
Do think about if you haven't . Are they positive? Are they critical? Are they negative?
Are you harming yourself with the words you use?
I leave you with one of my favourite songs from a boy band, I used to listen to in my college days.
Share YOUR Words with me in comments. I would love to hear what you think.
_______________________________________
Buy my books http://preeti.io/amazon
Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/
February 12, 2018
Home sweet home
Finally, after a long and hectic journey, I am back home. I woke up at 4.30 am this morning, and I am resting only now.
One the flight back home, I finished an entire novel. I also met the staff at Relay bookstore at terminal 1, and signed a lot of copies of A Hundred Little Flames.
You can see pictures and videos on my Instagram. in the stories .
All I can say for today, is I am exhausted, but relieved too , to be back.
Home Sweet home!
I love the peace and quiet in my home, the comfort of familiar surroundings, the atmosphere, the decor, the tranquility, the art scattered all over my home, the books and each thing in my room, that contains a hundred memories.
You? What do you love about your home? Tell me in my comment box!
_____________________
photo: Alex Sawyer Unsplash.
Buy my books: Http://preeti.io/amazon
Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/
February 11, 2018
The wedding diaries
We had a busy day today. The wedding was grand, splendid, resplendent, rich an a visual treat. We had a lovely time, coming in with the 'baraat'.
We also clicked a lot of photos and created many happy, warm memories.
I have an early morning flight to catch tomorrow, and so I shall leave you with a sketch I made, this morning. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. It was my way of getting some quiet time amidst the noise , music and the general buzzing that accompanies a wedding
I am sharing it with you.
More again tomorrow.
Good night folks.
________________________________
buy my books: http://preeti.io/amazon
Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/
We also clicked a lot of photos and created many happy, warm memories.
I have an early morning flight to catch tomorrow, and so I shall leave you with a sketch I made, this morning. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. It was my way of getting some quiet time amidst the noise , music and the general buzzing that accompanies a wedding
I am sharing it with you.
More again tomorrow.
Good night folks.
________________________________
buy my books: http://preeti.io/amazon
Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/
February 10, 2018
My best friend's wedding :)
The above is where I am staying right now! It is an amazing place :)
I am here for the wedding of one of my closest friends.
You can see videos of me dancing on my Instagram account in my story (which will be available for 24 hours).
Here are some more snap shots from today.
(The view from the hotel room)
How can any Indian wedding be complete without Mehndi?As you can see from the above pics, as well as from my Insta feed, I am having a really really good time.
More updates tomorrow.
(I left home at 3.00 am today, as I had an early morning flight)
Stay tuned!
____________________
ps: buy my books: http://preeti.io/amazon.
Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/
February 9, 2018
A Throwback post to a Cosmopolitan shoot
Thank you Aastha for this lovely trip down the memory lane. From the Cosmopoltian shoot. L to R: Me , @madhuribanerjee @singh_nikita @kishwardesai @aasthaatray and @decemberschild Repost from @aasthaatray - #throwback to a lovely shoot and piece for @cosmoindia where all of us writers, and these ladies are awesome, spoke about how we became authors and how you can be tooo! Anyone can write, you do know that right? :) fun times. #cosmopolitan #feature #interview #magazine #fashion #happy #thankyou #writers #girlpowerA post shared by Preeti Shenoy (@preeti.shenoy) on Feb 9, 2018 at 1:48am PST
I think memories are very important. Without memories, we are nothing. It is the past that makes us who we are.
One of my author friends, posted this snap on her Instagram, and it brought back memories of that wonderful afternoon, when Cosmopolitan magazine featured all of us for a shoot, and flew us to Delhi.
This is one of the pictures from the shoot, and we were all featured in the magazine the following month.
A wonderful afternoon indeed.
Tomorrow, I am off to make many more happy memories. One of my closest friends is getting married, and I am so so so happy for him. I am flying with my family, to attend his wedding. I have to wake up at the unearthly hour of 3.00 am, as I have an early morning flight to catch.
(but that does not mean my blog marathon is excused. I promised a new post every day, and promises are promises. What can I say? I am old fashioned that way :) )
Shall blog again tomorrow.
See you then!
Good night.
Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/
February 8, 2018
What did you notice today? (An easy and fun exercise for you)
Today I noticed how I can tune out the outside world and enter into the world of my characters, talk to them, and hear their voices in my head, as I added 1800 words to my new novel.
Today I noticed how happy I feel when I create something.
Today I noticed how uplifting music makes you feel wonderful, as I walked my dog and listened to some soul stirring notes with my apple headphones.
Today I noticed how the muscles between my shoulder blades ache, when I stand up straight because of this intense weight training I did with dumbells which were a bit more heavier than what I should be lifting, but the coach said that if it was easy, then I needed to add weights, and so I did.
Today I noticed how good I am feeling because of healthy eating and adequate protein intake.
Today I noticed that we imprison ourselves with our perceptions a lot of times.
Today I noticed that there are a million things to feel thankful for.
Now, here's a little exercise for you. What did YOU notice today?
Quick, quick, quick--Tell me in my comment box.( If you are reading this in your inbox, please head over to my blog, and tell me there)
Till tomorrow, keep noticing!___________________________________________ Buy my books: http://preeti.io/amazon
Photo by Edit Sztazics on Unsplash
Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/
February 7, 2018
A portrait that gave me joy. (Wordless Wednesday no.53)
For today's post I thought I would do a Wordless Wednesday.
The reference image from Sktchy
_________________________________________
Buy my books: http://preeti.io/amazon
Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/
The reference image from Sktchy _________________________________________
Buy my books: http://preeti.io/amazon
Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/
