Preeti Shenoy's Blog, page 23

How I wrote eleven books: A true story of a very personal journey.

It was on this day twelve years ago that my father passed away. There was no warning, no illness, no ailments--nothing. He was alive one moment, chatting and talking to my mother. He had walked 5 kms , his usual  distance, that morning. He had meetings lined up for next day. He was to visit me in Pune, a week later. Instead he leaned back in his chair, while watching TV, closed his eyes and died.

The death changed my perception about everything. It altered forever the way I looked at life. It affected all parts of my being--my health, my daily routine, my philosophy, my core belief system. My father was my strength and my rock. I used to talk to him every day. My day was not complete, unless I had a discussion with him on the phone. He had a curious mind, and we used to talk about everything  in the universe. When he died, a part of me died with him.

 I had started this blog In October 2006,  forty five days after his death. I did not think about what I was doing or how long I would sustain it. All I knew is that I was in unbearable pain. I was  insane with grief. All the people who I considered 'friends' were not there for me when my father died. It was only one or two who came through. The rest, I discovered were just fair-weather friends.

The only thing that gave me a teeny weeny bit of solace was writing. So I wrote. Anonymously at first. I was afraid. I didn't know who would be reading whatever I wrote, and what they would do with that information. I wasn't even sure why I was doing it, but I knew I felt better if I wrote. So I wrote. And I wrote. And  wrote. And then wrote some more. Maybe it was a desperate cry for help. Maybe it was sheer loneliness and not knowing what to do about my grief anymore. Maybe it was universe nudging me towards my destiny. I don't know.

I was surprised when people  who read my blog started writing back to me. They said they saw positivity in my writings. They said my writing made them feel better about life. They wanted to see the person behind these writings.  I broke my own rule of staying anonymous. I revealed my name and my identity.


Those who have read Love a Little Stronger,  know all this, as they are all true stories from my life, adapted from this very blog. The last chapter is about my father's death. I  had always written in journals and diaries. I had also won many prizes at national and state level in writing competitions. But I had never thought of writing as a career option for me. 34 Bubblegums and Candies (which is now republished as Love a Little Stronger) changed that.


Gradually, I made friends online. Friends from other countries. I did not know back then, that I would later travel to those countries, and meet them--all because of my writing.

It's twelve years since my father died. I have written ELEVEN books, in these twelve years. In each of my books, if you read the acknowledgements (and in some the dedications) you will find I mention my father.

My father was a rule breaker, a trend-setter, a pioneer in many things he did. He believed in questioning everything. He would  be single minded and work around the problems in his path. He was a leader. People who knew him will tell you he was undoubtedly the most positive person they knew. He was deeply interested in people--and he could hold a conversation with equal elan whether he was talking to a security guard or a Chief Minister of state. (In his line of work, he often met with Ministers).

I wonder what he would have said if he read my books. I am sure he would have been proud. He would have probably bought tonnes of copies and gifted them away to everyone he knew, his heart swelling with pride, seeing his daughter's name. He would have probably mentioned me to every one who spoke to him.

I owe a lot to my father.
Above all, I owe my never-say-die attitude.

Like I said in A Hundred Little Flames: When those who we love die, they live on inside us.

But that doesn't stop the pain. Whoever said it gets easier with time, lied.
 To whoever said 'He is watching you from Heaven', I can say with certainty, that those words bring no comfort.

I miss him every single day.
I hurt and bleed inside every single day

So I write.

________________________________________
My ELEVENTH book releases  in less than 10 days.
 I wish my father was around to see it.

If you wish to order it, you can do so  HERE

Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Unsplash





Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/

Five rules I broke which changed the way I think

There are several rules that society imposes on Indian women (and men too.). Some of these rules are so  accepted, that nobody questions them. It is how we were raised. It is a part of our culture. It is just how we are.
I have always been a person who questions things. Even as a child, I was constantly questioning why things had to be the way they are. My mother, a strict disciplinarian would not encourage it, and there was no way out, other than just obeying whatever rules she laid down. In retrospect, it helped instill a sense of discipline in me.

In contrast, with my father, I could question everything. There was nothing which was taboo or forbidden. At the age of nine or perhaps ten,  encouraged by my father, I had read books like  'I'm OK, you're OK' by Thomas A Harris, and we would discuss things and analyse our conversation in terms discussed in the book. (transactional analysis)

My father did not believe in following anything blindly. He encouraged me to think deeply and reflect on everything. He always indulged me whenever I came up with hypothetical situations and scenarios. I loved the long discussions and conversations with him.

In my interviews, people always ask me, what is it that I do differently, which helps me succeed.  They make statements like  'You do so many things. You are so talented.'
I don't believe in that. I think it is just hard work! What I believe has been summed up beautifully by Conor Mc.Gregor




Looking back, there are several rules I broke, in my life and it helped me grow. It helped me succeed.
Here are the five rules that I broke:



1. Behave like a lady:  Women are always told to be demure, talk softly, not raise their voices, and to follow the rules. I went to a  women's college in Kerala. Back in the late eighties and early nineties , there was no woman in Kochi who was riding a two wheeler! Can you imagine such a time?  All the other 3000 (or maybe more) young women, the my fellow students,  would come to college by private buses, or would be dropped by male relatives or their parents. My father taught me to drive a car at 16. At 18, he bought me a moped, and I went for my driving test for two wheeler and a four wheeler. I rode proudly to college every day, on my two wheeler. I was interviewed by a Malayalam  TV channel for being a trend-setter! Can you imagine that? If I had 'behaved like a lady' (as was the norm in those days) , I would have never been independent.



2. Be concerned about what others might say:  The first book I wrote was creative non-fiction. They were all true incidents from my life. That genre I chose was almost non-existent, back then. People asked me if I am not concerned about what other would think. Here' the thing: People will always think something. Not everybody will approve of what you are doing. But as long as you are not hurting anyone with your actions, please do whatever you want to! Do what makes YOU happy. Don't worry about what other will think. It's not their life. It is yours.


3. If you fail, you will never live through it : I was rejected more than 40 times for my second book 'Life is what you make it.'. The book continues to top the nielsen charts even seven years after it's release.  Each time it was rejected, I felt my heart was being torn out. I never even thought that it would get published. I thought that I had failed. But I stuck with it. I lived through it. And now here I am, telling my tale.


4. Nobody will like you if you speak up: Myers Briggs Personality test will tell you a great deal about what kind of a personality you are. I had always felt a very strong need to speak up against injustice and unfairness of any kind. When I was younger, I would worry about whether that would make me unpopular. But as I grew older,  I simply learnt to be honest and yet tactful. I also understood myself a lot better when I discovered that I was an INFJ. All the descriptions fit me to a T! I urge you to do the test (linked in the start of this para) and perhaps you will learn new things about yourself too. It was a BIG eye-opener for me.


5. It's a man's world:  Whether I like it or not, just by the fact that I live in India, and I am a woman, I have to take certain precautions when it comes to travelling on my own. I have  now travelled extensively for my books events and I travel alone. To some extent, I would say it is a man's world, in India. Women safety and respect for women is yet to seep into many parts of India.  Many a time, my flight has landed at 11.00 pm or sometimes even later, when it is an international flight. There' s always a risk and a danger. But if you take certain precautions, you are going to be okay. I have taught my daughter that too. We should NOT accept that it is a man's world. We need t speak up, fight, and make our way through it.
_______________________________


If you like this post, grab my new book The Rule Breakers to find out whether Veda carved her own path by following the rules or breaking them. Book releases on September 17, 2018.







To get a flavour of the book, you  can also read  the first chapter here:
http://preeti.io/therulebreakers












Pic credit of the first photograph in this post: Aditya Saxena on UnsplashPic credit of Conor Mc.Gregor: Business InsiderPic credit of me: Satish Shenoy.
Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/

The number one essential to be a succesful writer.

What is the most important thing, a writer must do, in order to be successful? I am often asked this.

Now 'being successful' itself can be defined in several ways. If you are an aspiring writer, I would consider the first step of success as completing a manuscript. If you have managed to sit down and have completed writing a book, you are successful, whether you have managed to find a publisher or not. You  have successfully crossed the first step.


The other question I am usually asked is about my art. One of the things I do, in between my writing is my art. I am asked questions like how it helps my writing, and whether a writer should have other forms of creative expression, other than writing.

I don't think a writer truly needs to have any other form of creative expression, if they are not inclined! If you are passionate about writing and you have no other creative pursuits, that is perfectly okay. To say that one must have other creative pursuits apart from writing is akin to saying, one must be able to dance or sing , in order to be able to write, which strikes me as a bit absurd. I think what is essential for a writer is to be observant, to have a lot of empathy and to imagine yourself in the shoes of others.

While writing and art are both creative pursuits, for me, they come from different parts of my brain. I draw because I LOVE drawing, and am passionate about it. When  I was a child, my greatest desire was to be able to draw a portrait that is a good likeness. I used to practise drawing portraits and used to wonder how artists captured likeness in a few strokes.

As an adult, I know! It's all about learning to see shapes, shadows and then practising every single day. Regular readers of this blog will recall  that some time back, I had done a 'portrait a day challenge' for 30 days, and had completed my very first sketchbook of portraits. You can view it HERE.

After I did it for 30 days, I was hooked. I continued doing it, and now I have completed my second book of portraits! I am sharing it here:



 I have now started my third book :) I continue to do a portrait daily. You can see how much I have improved from my first book of portraits to my second. It's the same for my writing.

The most important thing for any craft--be it art or writing is PRACTICE.

That according to me, is the single most important ingredient for success. You get better and better with each piece you write. I learnt so much, with each portrait I created. I learnt so much with each book I wrote. I grew.

In order for anything to become a habit, you have to COMMIT to making it happen. Set aside time for whatever your daily goal is.  Record it, where you can see it.

If you would like me to write on how to stick to a habit, do let me know in  the comments section below, and I shall write a post if there are enough requests.

And yes,  I would  also love to know what you think of my completed portrait sketchbook :)
Please leave me your thoughts and comments.
_________________________________
Buy my books: http://preeti.io/amazon

Photo by Chris Spiegl on Unsplash
Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/

Three powerful things every aspiring writer must do.

On Saturday, I got a message from my publisher.
'Check the Hindustan Times today; We're at No.5 and No.8' he said.

I checked immediately, and my heart leapt up in joy.  TWO of my books were indeed among the highest selling fiction books in the country. My publisher also sent me this nice creative!




 I felt very happy, because it's not easy for a book to climb into the charts MONTHS after it's release. In the case of Life is What You Make It, it is TEN YEARS since  I wrote that book. Having the books there was validation that people find comfort and joy in my writing.

I have grown as a writer, with every book I have written. I do work very hard at my craft. I am constantly trying to write better. I write every single day---although everything is not for publication. I have a desk full of notebooks and diaries which I have filled over the years. I have my gratitude journal, my daily journal, my story ideas, my blog posts, my emails, my one minute writing exercises. my short stories, my musings and  a collection of anything else that  strikes my fancy. I always feel I have a long way to go, in my writing. I am still a student and I am constantly learning, improving, trying harder.

I often get asked, what is your advice to aspiring writers?   Here are three MUST-HAVES.

1. Write every single day   If you are an aspiring writer, the one thing I can tell you is, it is so important to write every single day. No matter what, you have to commit to your writing and stick to it. There is nothing called 'waiting for the muse to show up' or that 'I don't have the mood to write.' You create the mood, and you create the muse. What can you write about?

You can write about anything. You can make it witty, funny, romantic, adventurous, exciting, dull, dramatic, monotonous, vibrant or plain. You are the creator of your story. It's your tale--tell it, like only you can.

2. Read, read, read : It's very important for an aspiring writer to read a lot. When you read, you are exploring many worlds. You are broadening your outlook.  You are learning new things. Sometimes people tell me that they would love to read more, but they don't have time. I had written a piece: 5 easy ways to read more and transform your life.  
I hope that helps you read more.


I have read 17 books so far, this year; And I am on my 18th, which I will complete soon.

My current read which I am LOVING



>


 My last read  which I totally loved:


I would have read more than 17 books! But then I was writing my own novel, and it will be out in the first week of September this year. I plan to read at least 35 books this year.




3.  Think, muse, imagine: A large part of my work involves thinking and imagining. When my children were little, every night, I would read them a bedtime story. After I finished, they would tell me 'Mom, you now have to tell us your own story.' I would ask them who they wanted the story to be about.  They would come up with their own characters. Sometimes, they would be characters who are animals, and sometimes their characters would be humans. They would tell me the names of the characters, and I would make up interesting stories about them, as I spoke. The story would go in all directions. My children loved it. Many a time they would join in.In order to be a writer, you have to imagine the world of your protagonists, live in that world, make that world your own. You have to explore with your protagonists, find out things with them, laugh with them, cry with them and live with them. In order to be able to do this, you have to imagine.
Many a time, when I am lying with my eyes closed on my bed,pretending to sleep, I am actually working! 
I hope these  tips help you , if you are an aspiring writer. I also teach 'Fundamentals of Creative Writing' on skillshare as well as Udemy. You can go HERE and click on the first two links to be taken to the course. They are video based lessons which you can do at your convenience.
Good luck with your writing!
And many many thanks for reading my books! It is because of you, that my books continue to top the charts.LovePreeti
_________________buy Love a Little Stronger (all true stories from my life): http://preeti.io/lals
Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash
Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/

A few happy things!

Over the last few days, I have been making a portrait every single day, as a part of #Risedraw as well as the May Drawing challenge. Initially I was posting my portraits every single day, on this blog. Then I realised that not too many people read this blog for  my portraits :) Also I do have a dedicated Instagram page for my art where I post daily!

I didn't see any point in duplicating the same here. Especially because, I also post it on sktchy app. So to post it a third time on my blog, didn't make any sense.

 In case  you do not have an Instagram account, you can still click on the link, bookmark it, and see it from your laptop :)

Apologies to all those who have written to me saying that they are disappointed that I didn't post daily here--this was the reason.



Also a big thank you to all of you who interpreted the 'heart signs' that I had been seeing everywhere.
I want to tell you all, that the heart signs continued the next day too! It was the craziest thing ever!


Today, when I went on my walk, I didn't see any signs :-)

Instead, I  clicked this beautiful photo, which I simply had to share here:





The other news is that my book Love A Little Stronger  is number ONE on the Indian Bestseller chart.



I have been working hard on the edits of my NEXT book, which is a full length novel, and will be out in September this year. My editor and I have long long discussions about the character. I absolutely love working with her, and we have also become friends now.
So yesterday, I made a watercolour portrait of her. Any artist will tell you that water colour portraits are very hard to make, as you cannot correct the mistakes, and you have to work in layers. Also you can't control the washes, and hence it is difficult to get precision.

I 'stole' my editor's display picture from her whatsapp profile, and made this:






It's an A6 size, and it is in my sketchbook.
She loved it and I am happy :)

I shall post again soon. Till then read  Love a Little Stronger
:)
 ____________________________

photo credits of the bottle photo:
Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/

Are you missing a sign? (or What do you think this means?)

Yesterday, something strange happened to me.
In the mornings and in the evenings, I always take my dog for a walk. Sometimes, we go thrice a day.
Yesterday, in the morning, when I went for my walk, I saw this.

 It was a little rope which was lying in my path in the shape of a heart. I just found it cute and amusing. So I clicked a picture and posted in on my Instagram stories. (I keep posting  throughout the day, tiny snippets from my life.) Those of you who follow me on instagram, must have seen this in my feed. You can see my foot and my dog's paw in the above photo.

Then I walked on. A few minutes later, I found another rope/chord lying on my path--and this one too in the shape of a heart! I clicked another photo.

Here too you can see my foot and my dog's paw.

I had read a lot of posts from Erin Pavlina, as in the past many remarkable coincidences kept happening in my life. Erin has written a very useful piece, where she explains how to tell if something is a sign from the Universe or a coincidence. (Please click on it and read the piece)
So I thought to myself-- 'Is the Universe trying to tell me something? If so, I need to see another sign. If I don't see anything, I will just dismiss it as a coincidence.'

Then I forgot about these two heart signs that had popped up on my path, and went about my business. I am immersed in the editing of my next novel which will be out in September. I was drowned in the book, and I did not think about this at all.

In the evening, I took my dog for a walk, still lost in my thoughts. (Editing is a very intense process, and a lot of re-writing happens during edits). Then suddenly, I spotted this:

Can you see the heart shape? I couldn't believe it! I looked again and then clicked a picture. And I thought to myself, 'Oh I have seen three heart shapes now. I wonder if it means anything?'

Seconds later, I spotted this!



I was stunned. How could this be? I clicked a picture and then walked on.

What was it that the Universe was trying to tell me? Are all of these just coincidences and am I making a big deal of nothing?
Being a very visual person (I am an artist in addition to being a writer. Click HERE  to see my artwork) I do believe in intuition and the wisdom of our higher selves. I knew that there was something to these signs. But I didn't know what. I decided I would do my meditation (I do it on a daily basis) and try and find some answers.

This was not all. At night, my daughter (who lives abroad)  called me on skype. My skype calls with my daughter tend to be an hour long or more. We talk, we laugh and we catch up on everything. Her birthday had just gone by, and she wanted to show me one of the gifts she received.
'Do you want to see Mama?' she asked.
'Of course, show it to me,' I said.

This is what she showed me:



 It was a heart shaped jewellery box!
 I had goosebumps all over as I saw it.

It was the fifth heart I was seeing that day.

It was clear that the Universe was sending me a message. Perhaps a lot of love is coming my way? :)
(I do receive SO MUCH LOVE from my readers).

I don't know what these hearts mean, but they sure left me feeling good.

I think it is important to pay attention to these signs that the Universe sends us. If something keeps popping up, in your life, sit up an pay attention. It's a message from your higher self, and you are bein guided with love, towards your highest good.


What do you think all these hearts that I saw mean? Please tell me in comments. If you are reading this in your inbox, please don't reply to this mail. Instead, head over to my blog and leave me a comment, will you?

I would love to hear your interpretation of it!

_________________________________________________
ps: I have been doing the may drawing challenge, and I have been posting my portraits daily on my Instagram art page. Click here to see it.



Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/

Two watercolour portraits.

These are the two portraits I made over the last two days. You can follow my art handle on Instagram (http://instagram.com/preetishenoyart)  if you want to see them faster!


Also I was overwhelmed with the  lovely reviews I have been getting. I am sharing  two of them here:



Thank you for the love folks. See you tomorrow for more!
*************************************************

buy the book: http://preeti.io/lals


Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/

Does minimalism help you?

I am a huge fan of minimalism.  I think there is great beauty in simplicity. My prose is often described as simple, but powerful. It is deliberate.

I also like clean, uncluttered spaces. I work best when the environment around me is comfortable, organised and uncluttered. I am a huge fan of Marie Kondo and her methods.

Hence for today's drawing, I loved the instruction we received. We were to make a portrait (from the reference photo given) without using any facial features!

Here's what I did:







I am happy with my drawing--and so was my instructor Patrick Hochstenbach.


Meanwhile, I got some good news today. My publisher told me that Love a Little Stronger is doing really well, and we will soon be going in for an additional print run. I was happy to hear that.

It is currently NUMBER ONE on Hot new releases on Amazon in Indian Writing.


If you haven't read it yet, grab it  now! :) http://preeti.io/lals



New post tomorrow.
Till then, think about minimalism, and let me know what you think of it, in my comments below.
__________________________________________________



Photo by Maarten Deckers on Unsplash
Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/

3 things that comfort me when things go wrong

Today, I tried to make the portrait twice. (as a part of Rise and Draw and May drawing Challenge, where I draw a picture every day)  Twice I failed. When I say failed, I don't mean that I did not complete it. I did. I mean that I wasn't happy with it.

I have posted it though, on the sktchy app, as well as on my Instagram art page.

Some days are just not our days. No matter how hard we try, things don't go the way we planned.

On such days, if you afford to stop what you are doing, you should do just that. (if you are working for an organisation, you probably may not be able to do this but then you can prioritize the work, and choose something else, if you have several tasks)
Here are five things that I do, which comfort me when things don't go my way:

1. Writing One thing that does comfort me is my writing. No matter how bad the day is, no matter what has happened, I always feel better when I write. Writing calms me, helps me make sense of what is going around me and gives me a perspective. Even if you are not a writer, I highly recommend this. Try it when you feel down. Pour your heart out.  And see how it helps!

2. Gardening The other thing that calms me is my garden. I love to spend time there. I have flowers too, but the majority of what I grow are vegetables. I cook at least one vegetable from my garden every single day!

3. Reading And the last thing that comforts me is reading. No matter how the day goes, a good book is always a great escape! Right now I am reading 'My Grandmother sends her love and apologises' by Fredrick Backman.
(Strangely, music is not something that comforts me..I do listen to it, when I am painting.)

That's all for today folks, I am off to write in my journal and read.

New post (and new portrait) tomorrow!
________________________
Buy Love a Little Stonger.



Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/

Imagine and change your life--- a little life lesson I learnt from my art.

For my today's Rise and Draw,  I got a black and white photograph.



This was the image I got. We had to pay special attention to the tones, and then convert it into colour.
Here's what I made:
 I was quite pleased with what I did.



Later it struck me---if we have a situation that's dark in our lives, that is black and white, then it is up to us to imagine it  it in a new way. We are nothing but the stories we tell ourselves. If you are feeling down about something, click a mentalpicture of it. Now look for the 'dark tones' within it. Then focus on the lighter tones. You begin to see the whole picture then!

But for the darker tones, the lighter ones would not appear so vibrant, so colourful.

We can change our lives by changing the stories we tell ourselves. By changing what we focus on.

And bringing some colour into a jaded black and white sceanrio.



Tomorrow, new drawing and new post.
Till then--look at the bright side.
_________________________
Buy Love a Little Stronger (all true stories of love and laughter, from my life) : Click HERE



Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/