Preeti Shenoy's Blog, page 13

Another portrait!

For today's #30faces30days challenge, we were asked to add a phrase to our drawing. Since I finished the edits of my next book today (WHEW!) I decided to add  'All Done".
What a satisfying phrase!

That's all for today.  Last few days left of the blog marathon.
Hope you have been enjoying my posts
Come back tomorrow!



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http://preetishenoy.com/

On life, love and friendship.

  Today, three quotes for you to think about. The letting go bit---it's very hard to do. It's also hard to bear the pain in love. As regards friends--people change.

Most of my books revolve around these themes. I write about love, friendship, life.
What books of mine have you read? Which ones are your favourite ones? Tell me in my comment box!
__________________________
ps: Today is Day 21 of a 30 day blog marathon! new post tomorrow.
Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/

Why is your partner possessive?

A splendid book that I read, The Tamil Story, is a collection of  88  Tamil short stories  from the last hundred years, translated into English. It showcases the society, the human emotions and the rich literature of the language, in a wonderful way. While the societal beliefs, norms, customs and traditions have evolved and changed over the years, what remains constant , never changing, ever-present are the human emotions.
A story I found particularly interesting, written in 1920 is by Subramania Bharathi, the well-known poet, freedom fighter, activist, writer ,journalist and social reformer from Tamilnadu. The story titled Railway Station, talks about a young man, in a dilemma as he is forced to marry three sisters, who were now fighting among themselves for his affection. The young man says that life is a living hell because of them. If he buys a silk blouse for one of his wives, the other one tears up hers, demanding the same. If he buys a jewel for one of them, the same story repeats. Each of them cannot stand it when he speaks to others. The young man finally concludes that the only solution would be to divorce two of the women and ‘set them free’.
The sisters in the fictitious tale grapple a real problem---possessiveness in a relationship. When we enter into a deep relationship with someone, we want all of his or her time, attention and affection. The thought of someone else taking what we perceive to be ‘rightfully ours’ becomes an unbearable thing that haunts you, stealing your peace.‘What if my partner finds that other person more attractive and interesting than me, and hence discards me?’ or ‘Why can’t my partner be happy with me? Why does he/she need that other person at all?’ are questions which the possessive partner grapples with. It stems from a feeling of inadequacy.


Numerous psychologists tell us that most people who feel possessive tend to have low self-esteem. Excessive questioning, trying to restrict your partner’s behaviour, having do’s and don’ts for them are all tell-tale signs of a controlling relationship, which is not healthy at all. Another sign of possessiveness is a tendency to remind you —which might be subtly or directly—that you are all they need. Any connection you form with any other friend, or any social circle, that they are not a centre of, will all be seen as extraneous and unnecessary. They  also try to restrict your friendships and will question the need for it, trying to dissuade you from spending time with your friends, colleagues or family members. In such relationships, the partner will not understand the need for personal space. Every single thing has to be done jointly. If you attempt to do anything without them, they see it as a rejection of themselves.
 A team led by Hasse Walum of the Karolinska Institute in Sweden conducted a study to see which of the sexes got more jealous. The two kinds of jealousy that was studied were emotional jealousy (where your partner became emotionally close to someone) and sexual jealousy (where your partner physically strayed). In both cases, the participants in the study were told that the situation was just a one-off situation and that their partners would never see that ‘other person’ again. While both men and women scored higher on sexual jealousy than emotional jealousy, what the research team found was that for men, there was greater jealousy when the relationship was sexual. The researchers found that men and women process infidelity differently. A heterosexual man is likely to be less tolerant of a partner who has confessed to having a one-night stand with someone than if she said that she was speaking to the ‘other man’ every day, and they would meet for a cup of coffee daily.
Some degree of jealousy and possessiveness is natural. However if your partner’s actions are beginning to feel like a noose around your neck, it is time to step back, evaluate and loosen the reins, before they turn into inextricable knots. ___________________________________________
Check out my latest book: preeti.io/awake 


unsplash-logoYoann Boyer
Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/

A portrait from my sketchbook

Today's post is a vibrant portrait from the #30faces30days challenge that I am doing.
If you want to see my other portraits, please check out my Instagram art page.
Click HERE
Come back tomorrow for a new post!
Today is day 18 of a 30 day blog marathon that I am doing :)



Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/

How to keep your resolutions (even if you have failed before)

Are you the kind of person who

a> Makes resolutions but does not keep them?
b> Makes resolutions but they are the same as last years?
c> Does not believe in resolutions and hence does not make them
d> Makes resolutions and keeps them for a little while
e> Makes resolutions but follows it throughout the year


I am the last kind. I make resolutions and I follow them throughout the year. I believe in resolutions but not just on New years. Resolutions can be made starting NOW. You don't have to wait for a new year or a new day. I believe those are just excuses to procrastinate.

If you have answered a> it means you do want to improve yourself. But you probably need a little push. Try going public with your resoluton where people will ask you about it. This way you will be forced to follow

If you have answered b> then it means your goals are too hard. You need to break them down into smaller bits. Example: Rather than saying I will write a book this year, say I will write 500 words a day for the next 5 days. Once that is achieved, revisit.

If you have answered c> it could be that you are skeptical or super-organised! You don't need to read this post :)

If you have answered d> it means you try but give up at the first sign of hardship. try rewarding yourself whatever goal you have achieved. There are many apps that help you achieve that.

If have answered e> then you are like me! You should be sharing your tips on your own blog or  in the comment box below :)

Jan 2nd is a great date to make resolutions.  Start NOW. Make smaller goals. Reward yourself. Share with those who truly care.
And if you have failed, it's okay. At least you have tried.
Start again!
 New post tomorrow. (I am doing a blog Marathon for a month  and today is  Day 18)



Ps: Check out my new book. It's been getting rave reviews

Wake Up Life Is Calling
_____________________________
Photo by Ian Stauffer
unsplash-logoIan Stauffer
Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/

A new start of a new decade!

This year or this decades starts with an art challenge for me. I have joined in the Sktchy Challenge 30 faces 30 days,  where I am joining an International community of over 800 artists all over the world. We make a portrait every single day---of the same muse. We get the muse in our inbox, and we all share what we have made using #30faces30days

The above is the portait I made today.
I think it is important to keep oneself challenged creatively. Only then does one grow.

You can see the process of how I painted the above on my Instagram stories.
They remain for 24 hours.

Wishing you all a wonderful new year! This is post 17 of my 30 day blog marathon. Rather than mention it in the title, this year I thought I would put it in the body of the post :)
Come back tomorrow for a new post! :)
Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/

My best reads of 2019 !

What better post for the last post of this  decade than sharing my best reads of 2019!!

I read about 60 books this year.(you can see all of them on my Instagram highlights Books 1 and  Books 2)  Here are my best reads in no particular order.

1.     Man’s search for meaning: Viktor E  Frankl: Though this book has influenced millions of people world wide, I read it only this year and was blown away by it. I loved the way Frankl makes sense of the universal question: Whether our loves have any purpose. He writes with depth and honesty; Powerful, poignant and deeply moving, I highly recommend this book.2.     The Travelling Cat Chronicles  Hiro Arikawa: Even if you are not a cat-lover, be sure to grab this one. It is translated from Japanese and it is quirky, gripping and leaves you feeling touched in ways difficult to explain—It kind of breaks your heart.3.     The Friend By Sigrid Nunez: It is about grief and loss and healing. The passages are extraordinary, and leaves you wiser by the end of the book. I would say this is a ‘must-read’ especially if you are an aspiring writer.4.     Storied life of AJ Fikry Gabrielle Zevin: A grumpy book store owner, a lonely island, a precocious little girl all come together to transport the reader into a delightful world. Loved the read.5.      Maid Stephanie Land : A deeply honest, emotional eye opening memoir  that makes you think about those invisible army of  people who work so hard, silently. An inspiring   true story of hope, grit and redemption.6.     Lullaby Leila Slimani: An intensely dark, engaging and disturbing novel. Beautifully written and it was a total show-stealer for me.7.     Ghachar Ghochar Vivek Shanbhag : What a book! It deserves an award. (if it hasn’t won any it definitely should win!)  Seemingly simple narrative that  makes you go ‘aaaah’ after you have finished the book and leaves you thinking about it for months afterwards. Highly recommend this book.8.     Man called Ove   : Fredrick Backman : Heartwarming, engrossing and well narrated, you will find yourself craving for more!9.     Eleanor Oliphant is completely fine Gail Honeyman:  It is funny, sad, blunt and extremely well written. Such a unique character, Eleanor totally won me over.10.  Autobiography of a sex worker Nalini Jameela:  It’s a powerful narrative of patriarchal oppression told with utter honesty that leaves you thinking about many societal issues and stirs something deep with you.





Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/

A lovely road trip to a Farm Day 15.

Friends of ours invited us to their farm which is about 200 Kms from Bangalore. Their company Sakura Fresh  manufactures a wide variety of beverage and culinary products from fresh ingredients grow right at the farm. They have world class spice blends marinades, rubs and seasonings.
The experience was mind-blowing. The highest standard of organic , ecologically conscious garden produce with zero pesticides.

I am sharing 3 photos I clicked today. For the entire journey, please check my Instagram
Click on the circle you see around my display picture to view my stories. They remain for 24 hours only.






Have happy year end thoughts. Get set to welcome the new year.

More tomorrow! (for those of you who are new, I am doing a blog marathon where I put up a new post every single day!)
___________________________
ps: check out my book: preeti.io/awake
Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/

My best and worst moments of 2019. Day 14.

For today's post I decided to do a Sunday Stealing Post.
 
Do click on the linked words to see what it is!


Here goes:

1.First things first, did you have a good year?

Mixed. Biggest achievement was Wake Up, Life is Calling the sequel to Life is What you make it coming out, and becoming really succesful


2. If you travelled, where did you go?
Travelled a lot for lit fests and book launches. I went to Abu Dhabi, Kozhikode, Kolkata, Delhi, Ahmadabad and Coimbatore.


3. Which fashion trends did you love?

I make my own fashion trends :)


4. Which fashion trends did you hate?
I don't wear anything I hate and so  fashion trends don't bother me.

5. What was your favorite article of clothing this year?
Spaghetti dresses and a pretty  patterned jump suit.


6. What song sums up this year for you?

Let it Be by Beatles.


7. What was your favorite movie of the year?
I loved some TV shows --Marvellous Mrs.Maisel, Schitt's Creek, Made in heaven.
I loved Gully Boy and Android Kunjappan version 5.25


8. Did an actor/actress catch your attention for the first time this year?
Yes--the actors in the above mentioned TV shows and films.


9. Favorite new TV show?
Right now watching Marvellous Mrs.Maisel.

10. Did you make any big permanent changes this year?
I moved homes.


11. What was one nice thing you did for yourself?
I began Zumba.



12. Did you develop a new obsession?
No--but I indulged all the old ones.

13. Did you vote?
Yes, of course.

14. Did you move?
Yes!


15. Did you get a job?
I am always working!


16. Did you get a pet?
Long back :) Not this year.


17. Do you regret not doing anything?
I did my best.



18. Do you regret doing something?
Inviting someone home :-/



19. Have you done anything that scared you?
Yes :)


20. Did anyone/thing make you so mad it stayed with you for days?
Yes.


21. Did you lose anyone close to you?
Yes. Two. Still haven't recovered fully.


22. Who was important to you this year but wasn’t important last year?
No one. I don't form deep connections suddenly.

23. Who wasn’t as important to you this year as they were last year?
So many. I am becoming a very closed person and am happy about that.

24. If you could have a do over on one thing you did, would you take it?
100 percent.



25. What was the best moment of the year for you?

 Representing India at the Abu Dhabi International lit fest. Here are two pics.






26. What was the worst?
Losing two people in my family.

27. What are you most proud of accomplishing?

Writing more than 10 best selling  books, many short stories and newspaper columns





28. What have you learned about yourself this year that you didn’t know in the years prior?

That I can actually have so much fun  and be good friends with my fellow authors and my publisher.




29. What do you wish for others for the coming year?

For them to buy my books :)
Apart from that, joy, health and peace of mind.




30. What do you wish for yourself
Peace of mind, health and lots more International lit fest invites! :)
__________________________________
ps: Fun activity: How many of the people in the above photos do you recognise?
Tell me in my comment box!

Also buy my book: preeti.io/awake

Photo by Estée Janssens on Unsplash
Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/

What does it mean to be human? Day 13.

I watched a really interesting Malayalam movie today called Android Kunjappan Version 5.25 and I loved it. It reminded me a lot of the   2013 English movie Her,

Both deal with Artificial intelligence. Both involve the human element. The settings of both movies are several worlds apart. One is set in a tiny village in Kerala (it reminds me of my book A Hundred Little Flames) . The other is set in Los Angeles.

Both these movies made me ponder on what it means to be human. How do humans form connections? Why does this happen? Do we need a person to form a connection? Or is something 'resembling' a person enough? In Castaway, We saw how Tom Hanks forms a connection with a volleyball  which he personifies, and even gives a name. The Volleyball keeps him sane in years of isolation.

To be human means to be lonely. We're born alone, we die alone. We form parterships , we marry, we have kids--all in an attempt to escape this loneliness. We hope our children will 'be there for us' when we are old. But no one can really fill these empty feelings forever. For a brief while (maybe even for a few years) we delude ourselves that we are not alone.
Things change. People change. Circumstances change.

Death is the ultimate transformation. This is the truth. We all die someday, leaving behind families, connections, grief, loneliness, unfinished businesses and sometimes we live on in other people's memories even after we die.

Hopefully I will have a more optimistic post for you tomorrow.
Come back to find out!

Also please DO WATCH the movies I have linked in this post. (and read the book too ;-))


Grab It's All In The Planets: http:/preeti.io/3
http://preetishenoy.com/