Michael Shapiro's Blog, page 9

Dodgers’ broadcaster Vin Scully suspended for PEDs

LOS ANGELES — Veteran Los Angeles Dodgers broadcaster Vin Scully was suspended today by Major League Baseball for 50 games after performance enhancing drugs were found in the announcer’s booth at the Dodgers’ spring training stadium in Glendale, Ariz.

A random search found No Doz and Sudafed in Scully’s section of the booth, which contain substances banned by MLB.

“Honestly, Scully is the last person we’d like to see suspended,” said MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred, “but in accordance with last year’s expansion of baseball’s PED policy to include all team employees, we had no choice.”

Scully, 87, will miss the first two months of the regular season. The voice of the Dodgers, beloved by fans, had just announced he’d be returning for a record-setting 66th season this year, just a bit later than he expected.

“I’m shocked and saddened by this,” he said. “I had no idea I was violating the rules of the sport I love, but I accept full responsibility.”

Scully vowed he’ll never use PEDs again but said he may have to re-work his contract to give him the fourth through sixth innings off, so he can take a nap. Until this season, he’s typically called all nine innings.

The Dodgers have hired former pitcher Steve Howe to fill in for Scully during the suspension.

– Michael Shapiro contributed to this story

 

Anti-cyclist rant by Adam Parks of Victorian Farmstead Meat in Sebastopol

Below are excerpts from the recent “I hate cyclists” blog post by Sebastopol meat company owner Adam Parks. I read this on his site on Saturday. It’s no longer up, but I can post excerpts and my responses to this despicable rant in which he suggests running cyclists off the road and jokes about the “Tour de Speedbump.”

My initial comment, under the name SoCo Cyclist, is at bottom, following the excerpts I can legally post from Parks’ screed.

Here’s an excerpt from my comment posted last Saturday: “Let’s not forget who’s vulnerable – it’s the person on two wheels with no metal casing or airbags to protect him or her. In 30+ years of cycling (including a trip across the US) I’ve been run off the road by 18-wheelers, shouted at, had people throw beer bottles at me and been threated by gun-toting assholes. All while abiding by local laws and traveling in a way that’s not polluting.”

Read excerpts from Parks’ diatribe below with my comments interspersed, or see the Press Democrat story about the post the heated reaction to it. Here are my responses to Parks:

 

Cycle of Life, posted  March 12, 2015 by Adam Parks

Parks: As a rule, I don’t like cyclists. There… I said it. Big, sweeping generalization that probably throws some good, law-abiding people under the proverbial bus. Nonetheless, I really hate cyclists.

Shapiro: Well, you’re certainly clear about your feelings.

Parks: Cyclists … are usually astride a $10,000 graphite-framed bike that is lighter than a can of beer. Their $500 spandex onesie has more advertisements than a NASCAR driver. How do you know if someone is a cyclist??? Don’t worry… they’ll tell you.

Shapiro: No, we’re not all as arrogant or wealthy as you think we are.

Parks: What doesn’t make sense is these entitled fools mucking up a perfectly fine drive on a narrow, two lane back road in the country. … Get out of the way!

Shapiro: Cyclists have as much right to the road as cars; we’re not invading your God-given territory. Irony is you talk about how entitled cyclists are but you’re the one who’s entitled, unwilling to share the road.

Parks: The rare single cyclist is bad enough. This is usually the newbie that decides he’s going to try out his new steed in “the middle of nowhere so I won’t bother my fellow cyclists”. Usually stopped (as there is nowhere to pull over) going uphill on a blind curve, you can actually feel this one questioning his life’s choices as you lay on the horn to move him into to the ditch and out of the way.

Shapiro: You think it’s amusing to joke about forcing cyclists into the ditch. I’ve had this happen to me while on a bike several times and it’s not funny – it’s life-threatening. I had a good friend whose brother was struck by a hit-and-run driver while cycling, and left in a ditch where he died.

Parks: So, as usual, I have some suggestions for these Tour de Speedbump contestants. First, anyone not in single file and/or on the right side of the solid white line is fair game.

Shapiro: Really, you think you own the road, and that a cyclist who has a legal right to share it is “fair game.” I know you said after the fact you were just kidding but that doesn’t make ok to threaten people.

—

In the latter half of the blog post, Parks talks about his mistake going up a narrow road on the Peninsula and getting into an angry exchange with cyclists, even though he acknowledges he was the one who shouldn’t have taken an RV up that steep and winding road. I won’t post it here because I don’t want to risk violating fair use rules and can’t link to it because unfortunately he’s taken down his blog after the firestorm of protest.

Below is an excerpt from the comment that Parks posted after some angry responses to his blog entry, as well as a comment I posted last weekend in response. Parks initially was defiant and said he’d “never apologize,” but that’s what he did a couple of days later, perhaps because he’s concerned about the affect his diatribe could have on his struggling meat business:

COMMENTS

Note: below is an excerpt of Parks’ response to about a dozen angry comments on his blog post – I’ve deleted these comments. -Shapiro

Adam Parks says:

March 14, 2015 at 9:22 am

Wow, that touched a nerve! Thanks everyone for your comments. I never apologize for what I write and I won’t start here. However, what is clear is that I did a poor job of using sarcasm because many of you certainly didn’t read it that way. I guess if you read it literally, then you should be offended. Other than that, lighten up! Nobody is looking to hurt anyone.

Michael Shapiro (SoCo Cyclist) says:

March 14, 2015 at 12:14 pm

Adam, You screwed up, got on a road with an oversize vehicle that you shouldn’t have been on, got stressed and blamed your frustration on cyclists. Let’s not forget who’s vulnerable – it’s the person on two wheels with no metal casing or airbags to protect him or her, not the guy driving the RV.

In 30+ years of cycling (including a 4,300-mile trip across the US) I’ve been run off the road by 18-wheelers and RVs, shouted at, had people throw beer bottles at me and threated by gun-toting assholes. All while abiding by local laws and traveling in a way that’s not polluting. And by the way, I don’t have $500 onesies or a $10k bike.

Re your comment telling everyone to “lighten up,” that’s like telling people you were just joking after saying “Kill all the —-ers” or whatever other people you hate. Saying “Hey I was only kidding” is no defense. There’s a big and clearly evident difference between satire and thinly veiled hatred – read Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal” if you want to understand the difference.

Like many cyclists, I’m progressive and support local business that provide products like locally raised meat. I’ll continue to do that but won’t spend my money at your place.

Finally, you should know that cyclists have as much legal right to the road as motor vehicles – if you want to see the laws, click: https://calbike.org/bicycling-in-cali...

 

Michael Shapiro among authors featured in Best Travel Writing, appears at Book Passage on March 1, 2015, at 4pm

Michael Shapiro will appear as part of a panel of writers whose work is featured in The Best Travel Writing, Vol. 10, published by Travelers’ Tales. Among the other authors speaking are Jeff Greenwald, Lavinia Spalding and Don George. The executive editor of Travelers’ Tales, Larry Habegger, will moderate the discussion.

Shapiro will be reading an excerpt of his story about Dylan Thomas’ home in Wales, which was  published in the Washington Post. The story also won a Solas award.

 

Michael Shapiro’s article on Jan Morris’s Wales was a cover story for National Geographic Traveler. He also writes for American Way, Mariner, Islands, and The Sun – and contributes to the travel sections of the Washington Post, Los Angeles Times and San Francisco Chronicle. Shapiro is author of A Sense of Place: Great Travel Writers Talk About Their Craft, Lives, and Inspiration and wrote the text for the pictorial book, Guatemala: A Journey Through the Land of the Maya. A native of New York, he lives in Petaluma (Sonoma County) with his wife and cat.

Join us: Sunday, March 20, 4pm, Book Passage bookstore, 51 Tamal Vista Blvd., Corte Madera, Calif. This is a free event.

NY Times: Vineyards with Vistas

My first New York Times story was a piece about Wine Country real estate:

 

Destination Guide | Napa and Sonoma

Vineyards With Vistas

 

By MICHAEL P. SHAPIRO

Published: July 26, 2006

An hour to 90 minutes north of San Francisco, the Napa and Sonoma Valleys have long lured second-home buyers with properties ranging from rustic cabins along the Russian River to palatial estates overlooking the Napa Valley.

Decades ago, most second-home owners were escapees from fog-shrouded San Francisco seeking summer sun. Recently, however, buyers have come from Los Angeles, Texas, the East Coast and even beyond North America. Each region has a distinct personality, with the Napa Valley typically more upscale and Sonoma County a bit more laid back.

It is no mystery why the towns and countryside here are so attractive to second-home seekers: seduced by high-quality restaurants, coast-side golf courses, unique shops and galleries, easy access to the Pacific and the redwood forests, and wineries that routinely outrank the top French producers, many see paradise in this nook of Northern California.

NAPA COUNTY

With vineyard-lined hills, hot-air balloon rides and top-ranked restaurants, the Napa Valley — stretching from the town of Napa up to Calistoga — is a place where travelers’ dreams come true. Strict growth limits, including a virtual moratorium on subdividing land outside of city limits, have preserved its agricultural heritage.

After remaining flat for most of the 1990’s, prices in the region have taken off, doubling or tripling over the past eight years. Many sales experts say prices have plateaued in recent months and probably won’t be climbing in the short term. But the general wisdom is that California real estate, especially in places like Napa and Sonoma, is almost always a good long-term bet.

Napa

With more than 70,000 residents (over half the county’s population), Napa has grown into a midsize city in the last few decades. It is the hub of the valley, with grocery stores, chain restaurants and shopping outlets. Its housing stock ranges from affordable Craftsman bungalows to rambling Victorians, and its geographic focal point is the Napa River. A wine-tasting and shopping center called Copia has drawn busloads of tourists to the downtown.

There are two 18-hole golf courses nearby: the Napa Valley Country Club and Silverado Country Club. They might be one reason that many second-home buyers choose to live near, not in, Napa. Homes just outside of town are popular because they feel remote and private, yet are 10 to 15 minutes from downtown attractions.

As soon as you leave Napa’s city limits, you enter a landscape of tawny hills, oak grasslands and elegant ranch-style houses. You won’t find sidewalks or storm drains; instead you will marvel at vistas of vineyards backed by stately mountains to the east and west.

Jocelyne Monello, a real estate agent who moved to Napa from France in the mid-1970’s, says she has seen tremendous changes since then. It used to be that “nobody knew what a French baguette was,” she said. “Now I can get one in any market.”

She recalled Napa as “a real country town with lots of horses,” adding, “We used to go to San Francisco for a nice evening, but now we don’t need to do that.”

In addition to great cuisine, there are cultural events ranging from the Emerson String Quartet to the Chilean band Inti-Illimani, usually held in the Napa Valley Opera House.

Ms. Monello took me to two estates outside Napa. The first, offered at $4.4 million, was a modern European 5,000-square-foot home on 12 acres, 5 of them a vineyard of Bordeaux grapes. The house was surrounded by mature oak trees and had views of Mount George and the Napa Valley Country Club. Ms. Monello noted the home’s proximity to Napa’s airport, which caters to private planes.

The other was a “chateau” with French and Tuscan accents, on a glorious hilltop overlooking the town of Napa and the mountains beyond. Built during the past couple of years, the 13,500-square-foot home had a stone entryway and a terra cotta and peach exterior, with tile roofs. Though a grand house, it managed to be inviting, too — especially the outdoor kitchen, which opened to the backyard pool. The home had 45 acres, and the twisting driveway took about five minutes to drive up. All wires run underground, so nothing marred the view. The price: $13 million.

For those sticker-shocked by such prices, there was a more modest home at 4009 Browns Valley Road, on Napa’s east side, that had great character. Though it appeared to need work, the house evoked a time when Napa was more rural. With four bedrooms on 0.28 of an acre, it was listed at $1.28 million by Re/Max’s Sheryl Bartholomay and Richard Van Zandt. Because the house was in town, it had services including city water.

Yountville

In Yountville, at the heart of the Napa Valley, just about everything is within walking distance. In the early 1990’s you couldn’t give away houses there, said Curtis Carruth, sales manager for Re/Max Napa Valley. How things have changed. A dozen years ago the chef Thomas Keller took over the French Laundry in Yountville, eventually helping to put the town on the map.

Most of the shopping caters to tourists: a converted winery called Vintage 1870 includes boutiques, galleries, a wine shop and restaurants.

The houses clustered around town have a suburban feel; most have been built in recent decades. Just a couple of blocks from the heart of Yountville was a Craftsman-style home built in 1993 at 2 Heritage Court. On just under a quarter-acre, it had three bedrooms and picturesque views of vineyards to the west. It was listed at $1,225,000.

Some spectacular homes have been built on the outskirts of Yountville, in areas where vineyards stretch for miles. A modern country home at the end of Ragatz Lane just south of town recently went on the market for $2.95 million. The house had four bedrooms and 1.34 acres of property, as well as exposed beams, skylights and walls of glass that overlooked the nearby vineyards. It also had a pool and a guest house.

Of the many vineyard estates between Yountville and St. Helena, some qualify as magnificent. A five-acre property with a stone home overlooking the valley recently went on the market for $8.775 million. The house, near Rutherford, overlooked the Napa River and had mahogany doors, a clay tile roof and 16-inch exterior walls. There was also a guest house.

St. Helena

Many consider St. Helena the true gem of the Napa Valley. With an Old West feel and a history stretching back to the 19th century, the town gives one a true sense of place. It can be more expensive than Napa, but many buyers find it worth the expense, given the combination of vineyard living, restaurants like Tra Vigne and strong local community. Many St. Helena residents are second-home owners, but they’re locals in a way, too, said Mr. Carruth of Re/Max Napa Valley. “They just see each other on weekends.”

An outlet mall with stores like Donna Karan and Movado is two miles north of town. The area is a mecca for bicyclists, who can rent their wheels at St. Helena Cyclery.

It is still possible to find nice places in town for under $1 million. A two-bedroom home on Oak Street, built in 1931, listed for $995,000. A handsome, well-landscaped bungalow, it was a short walk to downtown. The lot size was just 0.17 acre, but the house was well suited for a couple who would rather not hop in the car every time they need something.

Down a country lane through vineyards was a three-bedroom farmhouse-style home on more than five acres. The property, on the market for $4.8 million, included an income-producing Cabernet vineyard, a wraparound porch and a long pool. To get there we drove on West Zinfandel and took a left on Gamay; the house was at the end of Cabernet Lane.

Calistoga

Best known for its spas, especially its mud baths, Calistoga is more eclectic than St. Helena and hotter than Napa (the valley warms as it gets narrower). Calistoga vineyards grow lots of Cabernet grapes, which like heat. The roads toward Angwin have views that take your breath away. It’s a smaller version of St. Helena without the prestige or cachet, Mr. Carruth says.

A 12-acre vineyard with a plantation-style home in the area had only two bedrooms, but the wraparound porch made it seem larger. The views stretched beyond the vineyard to a ridge above. The house, on Highway 128 near Tubbs Lane, was listed at $3.75 million.

But you don’t have to spend a fortune to find a home in Calistoga. A three-bedroom bungalow on a residential street near the fairgrounds was listed for $675,000. Large windows and a patio ideal for outdoor entertaining made this a nice summer home.

SONOMA COUNTY

Still largely rural, Sonoma County is generally less glitzy than Napa County, but don’t expect low prices. Most second homes are in the million-dollar-and-up range, county agents say. There still are some relative bargains at $500,000 or so — for example cabins along the Russian River or tidy two-bedroom houses in downtown Sonoma.

Healdsburg

Set along the Russian River, near the Alexander and Dry Creek Valleys, Healdsburg is famous for its town square and European atmosphere. Notable restaurants include Bistro Ralph and the Dry Creek Kitchen at the Hotel Healdsburg.

Healdsburg’s housing stock runs from Queen Anne cottages to Italianate mansions, with the odd Craftsman bungalow or Gothic revival house thrown in. On the plaza is Oakville Grocery, where you can enjoy an al fresco lunch or order sandwiches for a vineyard picnic. Healdsburg has become internationally known — bond traders in Hong Kong buy vacation homes there, says Pamela Bernier, an area agent. “It’s a strong draw for people who don’t care about schools but want five-star restaurants and an upscale European vibe,” she said. Wine-country estates surround the town.

You don’t have to be a megamogul to buy in Healdsburg. A couple of blocks from the plaza was a three-bedroom Victorian with high ceilings, stained glass and a pool. The house, at 518 Fitch Street, was ideal for a short stroll to get a morning coffee or a late-afternoon glass of wine. It was listed at $959,000.

For those who crave broad vistas of the Alexander and Dry Creek Valleys, the hills above town make the ideal vantage point. A 2.07-acre property at 1240 Chiquita provided stunning views of vineyards and mountains. The ranch-style house was less spectacular than the setting, but with three bedrooms and three baths, it was spacious. There was also a second unit, with one bedroom, for guests. The home was priced at $1,225,000.

Some properties combine proximity to town with a rural ambience. Less than two miles from the town plaza, a Craftsman house at 801 Samantha Court had open-beam ceilings, a large stone fireplace and big windows that framed the surrounding foliage. The house had four bedrooms and listed for $1.3 million.

Occidental

Surrounded by redwood forests, Occidental is small-town in appearance but not mentality. It is a locus for original shops, like Renga Arts, which sells gifts and accessories made from reclaimed materials. Down the street, Hand Goods sells imported jewelry and crafts from around the world. Occidental also has its artsy side: high-quality chamber music comes to this tiny burg.

Occidental is a tight-knit community with a solid family base. Two Italian families, the Gonnellas and the Negris, settled the area a century ago. They came to serve the lumbermen and bought land. This has enabled family members to live here even if they couldn’t drop $800,000 for a starter home, Ms. Bernier said. There are still a couple of family-style Italian restaurants in town, including Negri’s.

Because Occidental is so small, many buyers find properties nearby. A few miles away is Joy Road, near the Pacific coast, where a rammed-earth home on 3.75 acres nestled among redwood groves. This spacious three-story chalet-style home, built in 1994, listed for $1.35 million.

It is possible to find properties in town, too. One “vintage cottage” on 0.85 acre in Occidental, at 3084 Bohemian Highway, had an old barn, gardens and mature trees, and listed for $610,000.

A buyer seeking a return to the Garden of Eden might consider the former site of the Western Hills Nursery, a three-acre property above Occidental with 1,500 rare plant species, according to the listing. The property was laced with meandering paths, stone waterways, ponds and bridges. The listing included five photographs, none of which showed the two-bedroom house, suggesting that the property was the main attraction. It was priced at $1.95 million.

Sebastopol

The hub of western Sonoma County, Sebastopol is a family-oriented town where most people are buying primary residences. But the surrounding hills and valleys have rural estates attractive to second-home buyers who enjoy a laid-back country atmosphere. These houses feel remote, but many are less than 15 minutes from Sebastopol’s fine restaurants (for instance the Zagat-listed K & L Bistro), the cineplex, Copperfield’s Books and the weekly farmers’ market.

Sebastopol takes pride in progressive values: three of its five council members belong to the Green Party, and shopkeepers sometimes risk losing business by placing antiwar posters in their windows. But there has been an influx of well-heeled residents in the past decade, and Hummers now compete with hybrids for space in the Whole Foods parking lot.

Small homes in Sebastopol start around $600,000, but second-home buyers typically want more house — and more land. A 4.8-acre property with a two-bedroom home and guest cottage on Vine Hill Road, about 9 miles west of Sebastopol, was listed at $1.15 million. A four-bedroom home on Frei Road had 2.5 acres, garnished with a fountain and fruit trees. This modern house, built in 1994 and priced at $1. 295 million, had a spacious kitchen and a living area that overlooked the patio.

Sonoma

Situated on the cusp of the Carneros region, Sonoma retains a traditional Mexican feel with a central plaza. It was there that the Bear Flag was raised in 1846, signaling the end of Mexican rule over Alta California. The eight-acre park in the plaza’s center is still an oasis of tranquillity at the heart of the town.

In recent decades, another kind of invader has made its presence felt: the franchise outlet and the big-box store.

Still, the surrounding valley has retained its beauty, and vineyards roll over the hills. Some visitors come to taste wine and get spa treatments at the Fairmont Sonoma Mission Inn and Spa. Then they return to claim a piece of Sonoma for themselves.

A couple of miles northwest of town, near Boyes Hot Springs, a three-bedroom house at 18109 California Court with contemporary architecture and an in-ground pool and hot tub was listed for $725,000. The home, on a cul-de-sac, had French doors that open onto a back patio. There was a wood-burning fireplace to keep the place cozy during the winter, and a wine cellar at the ready for any purchases made in the surrounding valleys.

About a mile east of the town of Sonoma was a four-bedroom traditional home on 0.82 acre. Near the end of East Napa Street, the home listed for $1.3 million and combined proximity to town with a rural setting. It seemed a fine home for those who enjoy all the attractions of Sonoma: park, shops, restaurants — and tranquillity.

Bodega Bay

Set on the Pacific coast, Bodega Bay can be breathtaking on a sunny day. The main attractions are the dramatic beaches and rock formations just out to sea. A golf course right on the water is a big draw, and the Kortum Trail, along the bluffs a few miles north of Bodega Bay, is just one of many hikes that promise drop-dead views, if the weather’s clear.

But that’s a big if. Some buy a house after a sunny-day visit, but they often get so discouraged by the frequent fog that they sell in a couple of years. According to one agent, Bodega Bay has the highest turnover rate in Sonoma County.

A nicely landscaped three-bedroom north harbor home on 102 Cypress Loop, overlooking Bodega Bay and the ocean, was on the market for $799,000. Less than a mile from the Bodega Harbour Golf Links, the property would be ideal for those who enjoy playing 18 holes before lunch and spending the afternoon on the beach or fishing the rich waters of the Pacific.

Years ago the prime real estate in Bodega Bay was one of the houses perched atop bluffs overlooking the ocean, on the west side of Highway 1. But climate change has increased erosion along the coast, and some of these homes are “dropping into the sea,” Ms. Bernier said. “They come onto the market, but no one is touching them.”

So if you’re going to spend $1 million or more, you’ll want to make sure your home is on terra firma. A four-bedroom home at 20290 Osprey Drive was spacious enough for an extended family and had peerless views of the ocean. The modern architecture complemented the pastoral setting; the house listed for $1,095,000.

Guerneville

This town along the Russian River has stately redwood forests and some of the lowest prices in the county. The river is ideal for floating in a canoe or inner tube, or simply watching from the deck of a favorite restaurant or bar. But don’t buy too close to the river or your dream house may get swept away in the next flood. The houses here were built years ago as getaways — there were few full-time residents, says Paul Bombige, a local agent. The housing stock started as cabins, which were boarded up in winter. But with the real estate boom, residents have improved the homes.

Today Guerneville is more desirable and charming, but it rarely approaches the refinement and elegance of the Napa Valley. Mr. Bombige estimates that 40 percent of the houses here are second homes.

Guerneville attracts significant numbers of gay buyers. “About half of my clients are gay,” Mr. Bombige said, adding that the clientele is attracted by the region’s beauty and tolerance. People cash in on the high city prices and buy acreage up here, he explained. For the price of a condo in San Francisco, you can get acreage with a nice house.

Guerneville is like the least expensive house on the street, Mr. Bombige concluded: The more expensive houses around it pull it up in value. This means, he says, that there is probably a better chance for appreciation in Guerneville.

A two-bedroom house with river and mountain views was on the market recently for $469,000. This would make an ideal retreat from city life for a San Francisco couple. One thing to keep in mind about Guerneville, however, is that many of the homes are in the shade of redwood groves, so sun seekers may not get all the rays they crave.

Some properties near Guerneville offer spacious lots, like a two-bedroom house on more than three acres at 17360 Watson Road, about two miles from downtown Guerneville. The home had high ceilings, long views and is very private and quiet, at the end of a rural road. It was listed at $759,000.

Patrick Amiot’s magical carousel, Sonoma magazine, July-Aug. 2014

Patrick Amiot’s carousel in Sebastopol, Calif., where he built it in during late 2013 and early 2014. He recently dismantled it for shipping to a suburb of Toronto. Photo courtesy of Sonoma magazine.

I met Patrick Amiot in 2002, just after he began to transform Florence Street into an open-air art gallery. His piece de resistance is the carousel he just completed. Here’s my story, “What Goes Around,” in the July-August issue of Sonoma magazine.

Full text of the story:

Patrick Amiot, known in Sonoma County for transforming junk into distinctive, whimsical art, has had lots of people ask him to create custom pieces. But a man who approached him last year was different.

The Canadian didn’t request a sculpture of his wife or son or dog. He wanted a little fire truck that kids could ride at a convention center his company, the Remington Group, was building outside of Toronto.

Amiot recalled the conversation: “I said, ‘A kiddie ride. Isn’t that kind of small for a convention center? Why don’t we do something bigger?’”

“Like what?” the developer asked.

“Let’s do a carousel,” Amiot replied. He just threw it out there. A week later the developer gave the green light, and Amiot began creating a merry-go-round like no other.

The carousel is 50 feet in diameter and has 44 sculpted metal figures to ride, among them: a gigantic beaver with buck teeth, a big gray dog, a bumblebee, a rabbit with huge curved ears and eyes made from old taillights, a moose, a school bus reading “ECOLIERS” in front, and a cow driving a pickup.

Named the Pride of Canada, the carousel is not just for show: it goes up and down, round and round, thanks to solar power and a state-of-the-art motor. Amiot would only say that he will be paid “six figures” for the work.

The characters on the carousel reflect varied aspects of Canada. There’s a barrel going over Niagara Falls that’s accessible for the disabled, and each piece has a license plate from a Canadian province. Not coincidentally, the paint on each sculpture matches the color of its license plate.

Every piece is made from junk that would have been tossed into landfills. Amiot scours wrecking yards, flea markets and dumps to find rusted water tanks, old vacuum cleaners, spent fire extinguishers and other debris he fashions into art.

“They asked me if I can make drawings, and I just said no,” Amiot said about members of the Bratty family, owner of the Remington Group. “I took a big chance … because they could have turned around and said, ‘No drawings, no contract.’ But I think this gentleman believed in me enough to understand that I work with junk. I can seduce them with all sorts of pretty drawings, but the reality is it’s not going to look like the drawings.”

Slender, energetic and quick to unleash his staccato laugh, Amiot explained that he doesn’t know what a piece will look like until it’s finished. “I’m not sure until the very last day. I don’t know what I’m going to do because I don’t know what (pieces) I’m going to find. That’s really the best way to work as an artist.”

Friends and neighbors bring Amiot all sorts of treasures, such as old garden tools and car parts, which become incorporated into his work. He speaks rhapsodically about the objects, like hubcaps that “have their own spirit” because they’ve traveled hundreds of thousands of miles over scalding asphalt and winter prairies.

“Some people think I give new life to these objects, but I just extend their lives,” Amiot explained. “It just keeps going.”

A French Canadian, Amiot, 54, carved out a niche in eastern Canada by making clay figures, including hockey players. By 1997, he wanted to leave the Montreal area and move to the U.S.

Lured by images of Hollywood, Amiot and his family (his wife, Brigitte Laurent, and two daughters, then ages 5 and 7) drove a motor home in the summer of 1997 to Los Angeles, but decided it wasn’t for them. So they headed north.

“We stopped in Marin and they didn’t want my motor home anywhere,” he said. So they kept driving until they reached Sebastopol. Locals were friendly and welcoming; Amiot and Laurent sensed the place would be right for them.

The family enjoyed Sebastopol, but Amiot’s art wasn’t supporting them. His clay figures weren’t selling well in the U.S., and shipping them to galleries in Canada was costly, with import duties, breakage and an unfavorable exchange rate.

“I failed. I was pretty much going bankrupt,” Amiot said. “I just decided that if I was going down, I may as well go down with a bang, so let’s do something silly and crazy and outrageous because that’s what you’re supposed to do when you’re an artist.”

In early 2001, Amiot made a towering fisherman and put it in his front yard. He thought it might annoy his neighbors, but they loved it.

After the Twin Towers fell on 9/11, Amiot created a sculpture of a firefighter atop a box painted with American flags that went in a neighbor’s yard. Then just about everyone on Florence Avenue wanted a piece of Amiot’s art, and he obliged. The street turned into Amiot’s open-air exhibition space, as visitors came from near and far to see his fantastic creations.

Florence Avenue became the “opposite of a gated community,” Amiot said, a “people’s gallery” where anyone could come at any time and enjoy his art for free.

Laurent, his partner in life and art for more than three decades, has been painting Amiot’s sculptures since he started.

“If it wasn’t for Brigitte, I’d be selling used cars,” he said. “She’s more important than anything else in this whole thing.”

As Amiot’s star has risen, he’s continued to give back to the community.

After seeing kids sell candy bars to raise money for local schools, Amiot wanted to offer an alternative. He began publishing a calendar featuring his art that’s raised about $400,000 for schools in the past seven years.

He’s working with the Sebastopol Police Department on a 12-foot-high cat with amber streetlights for eyes that will implore speeding drivers to slow down in residential neighborhoods.

When he takes a moment to reflect, Amiot marvels at the trajectory of his life. He recalled that years ago, when the Barlow apple-canning factory in Sebastopol was closing, a foreman offered him some 4.5-inch lids. He grabbed a couple of boxes and thanked him, but the foreman said, “Oh no, all or nothing.”

So Amiot took more than 40,000 lids. He’s used them as scales on mermaids and fish, and now is putting them on owls he’s making for The Barlow, a constellation of restaurants, tasting rooms and shops on the former site of the cannery.

“They asked me to take this stuff off the Barlow lot, and now they’re paying me to put it back,” Amiot said. “Isn’t that great?”

–

Patrick Amiot’s magical carousel, Sonoma magazine

I met Patrick Amiot in 2002, just after he began to transform Florence Street into an open-air art gallery. His piece de resistance is the carousel he just completed. Here’s my story, “What Goes Around,” in the July-August issue of Sonoma magazine.

Full text of the story:

Patrick Amiot, known in Sonoma County for transforming junk into distinctive, whimsical art, has had lots of people ask him to create custom pieces. But a man who approached him last year was different.

The Canadian didn’t request a sculpture of his wife or son or dog. He wanted a little fire truck that kids could ride at a convention center his company, the Remington Group, was building outside of Toronto.

Amiot recalled the conversation: “I said, ‘A kiddie ride. Isn’t that kind of small for a convention center? Why don’t we do something bigger?’”

“Like what?” the developer asked.

“Let’s do a carousel,” Amiot replied. He just threw it out there. A week later the developer gave the green light, and Amiot began creating a merry-go-round like no other.

The carousel is 50 feet in diameter and has 44 sculpted metal figures to ride, among them: a gigantic beaver with buck teeth, a big gray dog, a bumblebee, a rabbit with huge curved ears and eyes made from old taillights, a moose, a school bus reading “ECOLIERS” in front, and a cow driving a pickup.

Named the Pride of Canada, the carousel is not just for show: it goes up and down, round and round, thanks to solar power and a state-of-the-art motor. Amiot would only say that he will be paid “six figures” for the work.

The characters on the carousel reflect varied aspects of Canada. There’s a barrel going over Niagara Falls that’s accessible for the disabled, and each piece has a license plate from a Canadian province. Not coincidentally, the paint on each sculpture matches the color of its license plate.

Every piece is made from junk that would have been tossed into landfills. Amiot scours wrecking yards, flea markets and dumps to find rusted water tanks, old vacuum cleaners, spent fire extinguishers and other debris he fashions into art.

“They asked me if I can make drawings, and I just said no,” Amiot said about members of the Bratty family, owner of the Remington Group. “I took a big chance … because they could have turned around and said, ‘No drawings, no contract.’ But I think this gentleman believed in me enough to understand that I work with junk. I can seduce them with all sorts of pretty drawings, but the reality is it’s not going to look like the drawings.”

Slender, energetic and quick to unleash his staccato laugh, Amiot explained that he doesn’t know what a piece will look like until it’s finished. “I’m not sure until the very last day. I don’t know what I’m going to do because I don’t know what (pieces) I’m going to find. That’s really the best way to work as an artist.”

Friends and neighbors bring Amiot all sorts of treasures, such as old garden tools and car parts, which become incorporated into his work. He speaks rhapsodically about the objects, like hubcaps that “have their own spirit” because they’ve traveled hundreds of thousands of miles over scalding asphalt and winter prairies.

“Some people think I give new life to these objects, but I just extend their lives,” Amiot explained. “It just keeps going.”

A French Canadian, Amiot, 54, carved out a niche in eastern Canada by making clay figures, including hockey players. By 1997, he wanted to leave the Montreal area and move to the U.S.

Lured by images of Hollywood, Amiot and his family (his wife, Brigitte Laurent, and two daughters, then ages 5 and 7) drove a motor home in the summer of 1997 to Los Angeles, but decided it wasn’t for them. So they headed north.

“We stopped in Marin and they didn’t want my motor home anywhere,” he said. So they kept driving until they reached Sebastopol. Locals were friendly and welcoming; Amiot and Laurent sensed the place would be right for them.

The family enjoyed Sebastopol, but Amiot’s art wasn’t supporting them. His clay figures weren’t selling well in the U.S., and shipping them to galleries in Canada was costly, with import duties, breakage and an unfavorable exchange rate.

“I failed. I was pretty much going bankrupt,” Amiot said. “I just decided that if I was going down, I may as well go down with a bang, so let’s do something silly and crazy and outrageous because that’s what you’re supposed to do when you’re an artist.”

In early 2001, Amiot made a towering fisherman and put it in his front yard. He thought it might annoy his neighbors, but they loved it.

After the Twin Towers fell on 9/11, Amiot created a sculpture of a firefighter atop a box painted with American flags that went in a neighbor’s yard. Then just about everyone on Florence Avenue wanted a piece of Amiot’s art, and he obliged. The street turned into Amiot’s open-air exhibition space, as visitors came from near and far to see his fantastic creations.

Florence Avenue became the “opposite of a gated community,” Amiot said, a “people’s gallery” where anyone could come at any time and enjoy his art for free.

Laurent, his partner in life and art for more than three decades, has been painting Amiot’s sculptures since he started.

“If it wasn’t for Brigitte, I’d be selling used cars,” he said. “She’s more important than anything else in this whole thing.”

As Amiot’s star has risen, he’s continued to give back to the community.

After seeing kids sell candy bars to raise money for local schools, Amiot wanted to offer an alternative. He began publishing a calendar featuring his art that’s raised about $400,000 for schools in the past seven years.

He’s working with the Sebastopol Police Department on a 12-foot-high cat with amber streetlights for eyes that will implore speeding drivers to slow down in residential neighborhoods.

When he takes a moment to reflect, Amiot marvels at the trajectory of his life. He recalled that years ago, when the Barlow apple-canning factory in Sebastopol was closing, a foreman offered him some 4.5-inch lids. He grabbed a couple of boxes and thanked him, but the foreman said, “Oh no, all or nothing.”

So Amiot took more than 40,000 lids. He’s used them as scales on mermaids and fish, and now is putting them on owls he’s making for The Barlow, a constellation of restaurants, tasting rooms and shops on the former site of the cannery.

“They asked me to take this stuff off the Barlow lot, and now they’re paying me to put it back,” Amiot said. “Isn’t that great?”

–

What to do when poker table gets unruly, SF Chronicle

I co-write the gambling column for the SF Chronicle, and every so often I get to relate first-hand experiences while playing poker. This column documents one of the most memorable sessions, a night of utter chaos at Petaluma’s 101 Casino. Click the link above or read full text below:

 

What to do when poker table gets unruly, San Francisco Chronicle, July 16, 2014

By Michael Shapiro

The no-limit table in the VIP room of Petaluma’s 101 Casino on a recent Saturday night was an utter train wreck. A middle-aged man who said he was a military veteran kept acting out of turn. Another player, an off-duty casino employee who sounded just like actor Steve Buscemi, said he was drunk and acted like it, spraying his chips all over the table.

One player, clearly rattled by the unruly scene, scooped up his chips and left. But sensing there was money to be made, I chose to stay.

Poker is a mercenary game, and when you feel like any factor is tilting the odds in your favor, take advantage of it. That said, you can offer some help to players who need it.

The veteran playing at Petaluma’s 101 that night didn’t know the game that well, so I began prompting him when it was his turn to act or cautioning him against betting too soon. He seemed to appreciate this and said, “Jesus loves you.”

Soon the betting got big. After flopping a flush, I bet $90 and got three callers. When a blank came on the turn, I went all in for about $300 more. Buscemi tanked and finally folded as did another player.

But the veteran called, looking straight into my eyes and saying, “You better have the flush.” I told him I did.

A fourth spade dropped on the river, causing Buscemi to utter a stream of profanity suggesting he’d have hit the nut flush had he stayed in. The veteran showed the 3 and 5 of spades, I revealed the jack and 2 of spades for a higher flush to take a $1,000 pot. The vet smiled vacantly.

A few hands later, feeling generous, the vet decided to give about $120 of his chips to an Indian player he’d befriended at the table. I protested, noting that it’s against the rules for one player to give chips to another as it alters the stack sizes. The floor manager concurred and required the Indian man to return the chips to the vet.

This points to another lesson: Know the rules so if a player tries to bend them you can speak up. And, if you believe it could affect the game, don’t hesitate to challenge a player who’s flouting regulations.

After midnight I got pocket kings and went all in. Buscemi called. My kings had Buscemi’s jacks dominated but a jack fell on the flop, so his trips took the $1,100 pot.

Then a player named Angela, also a casino employee, let a talented player who’d just busted out of a tournament take her seat and play with her chips; the new player began pushing around the table. I wasn’t sure if this was legit so didn’t protest, but it was unnerving.

After the bad beat with kings my stack dwindled further. I no longer felt in command of the table. So, up about $330, I cashed out and called it a night.

Which suggests the final takeaway: When the game turns against you, quit while you’re still ahead.

–

Islands magazine: Last of the Moken, June 2014

En route to Thailand last year, I saw a short video about the Moken, a Polynesian who traditionally have drifted among the islands and coasts of Thailand and Burma. Inspired to see them, we found a group that arranged visits and provided a translator, which led to this story in the June 2014 issue of Islands, “Last of the Moken.”

To read the story, see the PDF link (not the photo) below:

Islands: Moken

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Cover spread for “Last Days of the Moken” in June 2014 issue of Islands.

Here the pre-edit version of my story, a bit longer than the version that appears in Islands:

 

Floating with the Moken: A journey among a nomadic sea people

By Michael Shapiro

“You want to try something special today,” says our Moken guide Ngoy at the start of our third day in Ko Surin, a group of islands in the Andaman Sea off the west coast of Thailand. “Let’s take the kabong!”

These are the first words Ngoy says to us today – the Moken don’t say hello, goodbye or thank you. “We just see one another’s eyes,” Ngoy says. “That’s enough.”

It’s our third day among the Moken, a nomadic sea people whose ancestors have drifted among the islands near what is now Thailand and Myanmar for thousands of years.

“The kabong is our traditional boat, the center of our universe,” Ngoy says. For countless generations it’s been everything to the Moken people: their home, their transportation, their means for catching fish. This boat took Ngoy’s village six months to build – today most Moken get around in Thai longtail boats, but they built this kabong to keep their traditions alive.

“We have just one kabong left,” says Ngoy, gesturing toward the traditional boat moored in the bay alongside the Thai island of Ko Surin. “We used to see a lot of kabongs on our way to Burma. Now we see hardly any. You would see the kabongs in long rows; it was a caravan of kabongs, a floating village.”

The water is crystalline and the sky powder blue as Ngoy readies the kabong for a day of snorkeling and island exploration. His features are distinctly Polynesian – round face, thick black hair, strong stout build, a stark contrast to the slender Thais and Burmese.

Ngoy says he feels a deep connection to Polynesian peoples. Yet like many Moken in this area, his surname is Thai: Klatalay, which means “brave in the sea.” The name was bestowed by the mother of the Thai king. “We don’t know why but we love the king and his family,” Ngoy says. “There is no reason, but we do.”

Dressed in a Hawaiian fish shirt and shorts that say “Surf Cool,” Ngoy is one of his village’s ambassadors to travelers, most of whom stay for less than an hour. During such a short visit, “they can see our boats and our houses,” Ngoy says, “but they don’t really see us.”

Though Thai regulations prohibit us from staying overnight in the Moken village, we sleep on the beach in tents nearby at a Ko Surin National Park campground. We spend our days on – and in – the water, with Ngoy and his extended family.

Speaking in Thai (his second language) in a high, sing-song voice to our Thai translator, Mai, Ngoy tells us the kabong is carved from a single tree trunk and is 7 wah long. A wah is the height of a man. “Traditionally, we never use nails or a hammer,” Ngoy says. “We use twine to bind everything together.”

Ngoy cuts the top off a plastic water bottle, turns it upside down and uses it as a funnel to fill the motor with gas. Before motors were widely used, kabongs were powered by their sails – assisted by men on paddles – as the Moken moved wherever the tradewinds took them.

Today, due to Burmese restrictions, this Moken group hasn’t been allowed to return to their ancestral waters.

“When we kept moving, the sea was sustainable, the fish would come back,” Ngoy says. “Now it’s getting harder to find fish. This area cannot replenish itself. When I was a child, I couldn’t understand why we always had to move. Now I understand – the older generations were thinking it through.”

Ngoy wraps a thin rope around the motor and tugs but nothing happens – he tries again and the motor starts to rumble. “Almost,” Mai shouts to us. “Al-mo!” exclaims Ngoy, eager to learn English, a wide smile spreading across his face.

We spend the morning snorkeling with Ngoy and his brother, and a couple of teenage kids they call nephews who may not be blood relations. It doesn’t really matter – they’re all family.

The snorkeling is exhilarating – a rainbow of butterfly fish, parrot fish, clownfish, giant purple clams, little Nemos and angelfish darting among the vibrant coral.

But then I see a larger form swimming at least 30 feet below me, something only seen in this region of the Andaman Sea: Moken chasing fish. Two teenagers swim without flippers moving through the ocean with the grace of mermaids and the strength — and lung capacity — of Michael Phelps. They’re not carrying their spears today – Ngoy tells me the most colorful fish don’t have that much meat and don’t taste good – but if they were, these fish wouldn’t have a chance.

Back on the boat Ngoy shows me a spear used for hunting underwater and says that until recently, “We never had to worry about not having enough to eat – we could get fish from the sea very easily, anytime. We don’t save money, we save rice, even today.”

Ngoy’s nephew Kaidaeng, who tells me he’s 15, says he’d like to stay in touch with my wife, Jackie, and me. I say sure – but how? He looks up from his comic book and says: “On Facebook,” stating the obvious. “I have 1,600 friends.”

That afternoon we float to Mother-in-Law Bay and snorkel alongside an underwater cliff then go ashore. A small graveyard sits just above the palm-shaded beach, Ngoy says his mother-in-law was buried here the previous year (Nov 2012). The headstones are unmarked but ritual objects have been placed on the graves.

On one man’s grave sits an old battered TV set. “This is what this person liked,” Ngoy says. “That’s why it’s here.”

–

Sun-reddened and still wet from our snorkeling expedition, we come ashore at Bon Yai Bay, where this group of Moken has lived yearround since the 1990s – for long before it was their base during the monsoon season. Bon Yai is a village of homes on stilts, a cinderblock school and a new health clinic – almost all the rubble from the tsunami has been cleared away.

In front of the Moken village, Ngoy takes me to a copse of “spirit poles” or totem poles, each about as tall as we are with painted faces and flags flapping above. His people have no real religion, Ngoy says – they believe in their ancestors and in Mother Ocean.

The highlight of their year is the Lobong Festival, when Moken shamans perform rituals and the people dance ecstatically for three or four nights. But Ngoy says he’s worried about the festival because the shamans are getting old and no new shamans are being trained to replace them. “When these people pass, who will take care of the festivities?” he asks. “Without the shaman, the festival would not be sacred.”

As part of the festival, a scale model of a kabong, about 1 wah long is built and filled with rice, papaya and other delicacies, then released into the sea. The offerings to the ancestors help keep evil spirits at bay, Ngoy says. “Our people sometimes believe in bad luck, but by giving these things to the bad luck, it will not come after you.”

But bad luck did come after the Moken on the morning of December 26, 2004. That’s when an earthquake that measured over 9.1 on the Richter scale sent shockwaves that washed over islands in the Andaman Sea and beyond.

Ngoy says he was preparing a boat to go look for honey when he noticed the tide going way out to sea. The Moken people, he tells us, have a legend that tells of a wave 7 wah high. The moral, says Ngoy: “If you see the water leaving, a big wave is coming, so go up.”

But Ngoy wasn’t too worried at first. When suddenly his boat was stranded on dry land, Ngoy’s wife said “ko ma loy no” referring to the Moken story about tsunamis. “When my wife said this, the women put out the fires and prepared to walk up the hill. As we were going up the hill a big wave started to come in, but we didn’t run because we didn’t fear it much,” Ngoy says.

“The first wave was not so high – people came down from the hill to collect their plates and glasses. After the first wave, most people thought it’s probably over. The second and third waves were very high so everyone had to run a second time. After the first wave the houses were still standing, but after the second wave, there were no houses left.”

An advocacy group called Project Moken (projectmoken.com) estimates 12,000 Moken roamed the Mergui Archipelago, a constellation of islands off the coast of Myanmar, prior to the tsunami. Today it’s less than 2,000, maybe closer to 1,000 – it’s hard to count.

Today, as I sit on a shaded patio of Ngoy’s thatch-wood-and-bamboo hut, I notice that all the new houses are above the high-water line. All around us, during the heat of the day, Moken men and women sit under their homes, tell stories and play a Moken card game as Thai baht changes hands.

–

Though the sea is their first home, Ngoy wants to show me how much the land means to the Moken. Above the beach is a dense forest that’s become essential to the Moken way of life – Ngoy invites us on a short walk through the birdsong-filled trees. “The trick to walking in the forest is not to go too fast or too slow,” says the barefooted Ngoy. “Too fast and you can cut your feet – too slow and the ants and mosquitoes will find you.”

He pulls out his machete and hacks at a tree that seems to bleed when cut. “The tree is called the A-ya-la,” he says. “We call it the blood tree – it has a soft wood that’s good for furniture.” Perhaps the greatest gift of the forest is the abundant bamboo. The Moken, Ngoy says, use it for building their homes and boats, they eat its shoots, and if they’re thirsty can cut young plants and drink their water.

We come out of the forest near the village school and ask if we can say hello to the kids. The building is modern, made of cinder blocks with a metal roof. Most kids are five to nine years old – it’s kindergarten through third grade. Ngoy’s college-educated sister is the teacher.

Many of the girls’ faces are painted with thanaka, a cosmetic paste made from ground bark that’s common in Myanmar. I ask if we can take photos and they look straight into my lens.

Spending time with Moken children makes me wonder about their future. Ngoy has two daughters, ages 4 and 11, living on the mainland with their grandparents. I ask about his hopes for them.

“I want to teach my children” – and by “my children” he means all the kids in this village – “to make a kabong,” he says. “And to pass this knowledge on. Knowledge of the sea will let the Moken people live by the sea in the future.”

What’s the best way for the Moken to maintain their traditions?, I ask Ngoy.

“My first wish is for jobs for the kids here on the islands. If we have to go to the mainland, our community will disintegrate,” Ngoy says. “I don’t care what kind of job they have, just as long as there are jobs to keep them here. I want them to use the local wisdom. But a lot of people have no choice because there is not enough work here.”

We climb the creaky steps to the shaded porch in front of Ngoy’s home. A girl with thanaka painted thickly on her face wearing a purple shirt that says “So Happy” shyly peeks through the front door. Her name is Gumduan and she’s Ngoy’s niece. She grew up along the Burmese coast and dreams of returning to the seas there to work as a squid catcher, floating under the stars each night. I ask what her name means. She says, “catching the moon.”

Despite the forces of modernity buffeting the Moken, Ngoy is confident his people can keep living on islands in the Andaman Sea.

“In 50 years I believe we will still be here – maybe not like this, but we will be here,” he says, noting that the Moken have drifted among these seas for as long as anyone can remember.

I ask one last question: “Where do you want your daughters to live?” Ngoy’s answer is thoughtful, modern, perfect: “That’s up to them.”

We climb out of Ngoy’s kabong, grateful for the rare privilege of spending three days with him among the Moken. I look at Ngoy in appreciation. His copper-brown eyes hold my gaze in a wordless farewell; then he turns toward the sea.

–

IF YOU GO

This three-day, two-night trip was arranged by Andaman Discoveries, based in Kuraburi, Thailand (about 100 miles north of Phuket). Ko Surin National Park is typically open to visitors from mid-October through April. Most travelers stay in tents, but bungalows are available. A restaurant serves generous and tasty meals. Our trip, which included tent-camping, a speedboat from Kuraburi to Ko Surin and back, all meals (not including beer) and a Thai translator, cost about $600 per person, a significant proportion of those funds goes to help Moken community development projects.

Tel. +66 87 917 7165 (English, Thai)

Skype: andaman.discoveries

www.andamandiscoveries.com (click the Tours menu and select Koh Surin)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Adriena Daunt Leaving Single Malt Curlers

Adriena Daunt is leaving the Single Malt Curlers at the end of the band’s 2014 worldwide tour.

NEW ZEALAND HERALD STAFF REPORT

AUCKLAND, New Zealand — On the eve of the Single Malt Curlers sold-out show this Sunday at Auckland’s Vector Arena, singer and tambourine player Adriena Daunt announced she’s leaving the band.

Daunt gave no reason for her decision to leave the SMCs after co-founding it seven years ago.

Speculation has run rampant with some music industry insiders suggesting creative differences may be tearing apart the SMCs; others believe Daunt is pregnant. But she quickly dismissed that theory.

“Nah, I don’t really like children,” said the statuesque Daunt. “They shout and run about, kind of like travel writers, and I’m just not cut out for parenthood.”

Daunt, far right, gave no reason for leaving the Single Malt Curlers.

Daunt has been a driving force during the ascent of the Single Malt Curlers, serving as band manager as well as a singer. Some see her as the Christine McVie to Casey Chiotti’s Stevie Nicks, but SMC members dismiss the comparison to Fleetwood Mac.

The band’s eldest member, David Lansing, said “The Single Malt Curlers aren’t the Fleetwood Mac of New Zealand – we’re the Single Malt Curlers, period.”

And he seemed unconcerned about the uber-organized Daunt’s departure, saying he’ll manage the band. “I can handle it,” Lansing snapped.

He says he’s already come up with a title for the band’s next album, its first without Adriena. The working title, Lansing said, is “Un-Daunted.”

His comments made the SMCs sound more like the Spinal Tap of New Zealand. Lansing, asked if he’ll miss Daunt’s presence in the band reprised David St. Hubbins feelings after Nigel left Tap.

“Adriena?” he asked. “Who is she?”

–

The Single Malt Curlers play Auckland’s Vector Arena with opening act Chiefs of the Four Winds, this Sunday at 8 p.m. Sold out.

New gay-friendly Vegas resort to be called Fellahtio

LAS VEGAS — MGM’s newest mega-resort, a gay-friendly hotel which starts construction this spring and will open in late 2015, will be called the Fellahtio, said spokesman Richard Johnson.

The building will be a high arcing tower he said, featuring a curved design not yet seen on the strip. Johnson said there will be two spherical buildings at its base, a casino and a convention center.

Regarding the name, Johnson said, “I realize it may be outlandish, but so is Las Vegas, and really, who doesn’t love fellatio? I remember when I heard there was a James Bond movie called ‘Octopussy’ — I couldn’t believe that either.”

Johnson said company execs were thinking of names that would complement the hotel’s sister property, The Bellagio, and Fellahtio just came to them.

The National Organization for Woman is protesting the name, arguing that fellatio is an activity enjoyed only by men. “I can’t imagine they’d call a hotel Cunnilingus,” grimaced a NOW spokeswoman.

But Johnson said the hotel will stick with the name. “We loved it since the first shot,” he said. “And we’re not going to withdraw it prematurely.”

– DISASSOCIATED PRESS