Janice Hardy's Blog, page 114

Writing Prompt: The Free Write: Moving On

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

This week’s prompt is a free write, so take the seed below and run with it. It doesn’t have to turn into anything (unless you want it to, of course), just let the words flow and see where they go.

Write down this opening sentence and follow it wherever it goes:

Moving boxes was the last thing...
Write as much or as little as you’d like. Written by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com

Real Life Diagnostics: Is it Clear What's at Stake?

Critique By Maria D'Marco

Real Life Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and we diagnose it on the site. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to Real Life Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines.

Submissions currently in the queue: One 

Please Note: As of today, RLD slots are booked through February 24.

This week’s questions:

Is it clear on what's at stake? Do you start to get a feel for the character? Would you want to read more? 

Market/Genre: Fantasy

On to the diagnosis…
Read more »Written by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com

Five Traits to Help You Create Your Character's Personality

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

This week's Refresher Friday takes another look at using established personality traits to help us build well-rounded characters. 

Creating a character is more than choosing a name and making a list of physical details. Who they are and how they act plays a much stronger role in how a novel unfolds than what they look like. There are dozens of ways to develop the inner depths of a character, and one way is by understanding their personality.

Psychologists over the last sixty years have broken personality down into five traits that influence how a person interacts with the world. These traits can be beneficial to writers, helping us determine how our characters might interact with our story worlds.

Read more »Written by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com

3 Ways to Get Book Covers on a Shoestring Budget

By J. Kathleen Cheney, @jkcheney

Part of the Indie Authors Series 

JH: Another new indie author is joining the faculty this month! Please help me welcome J. Kathleen Cheney, who'll share her tips and thoughts on indie publishing this week every other month.

J. Kathleen Cheney taught mathematics ranging from 7th grade to Calculus but gave it all up for a chance to write stories. Her novella “Iron Shoes” was a 2010 Nebula Award Finalist. Her novel, The Golden City was a Finalist for the 2014 Locus Awards (Best First Novel). Dreaming Death (Feb 2016) is the first in a new world, with the books of The Horn coming out in 2017, and the sequels to Dreaming Death in 2018

Website | Goodreads | Facebook | Twitter | Tumblr |

Take it away JK...
Read more »Written by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com

Three Ways to Making “Revising Your Novel” Easier

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

I’ve been a busy gal lately. Not only have I released a new novel ( Blood Ties ), I’ve also made some changes to my writing books.

Based on the popularity of my targeted writing guides (such as Understanding Show, Don’t Tell and Understanding Conflict ), and at the requests of writers and readers, I’ve applied the same concept to my Revising Your Novel: First Draft to Finished Draft . It’s now easier to get the exact help you need for your manuscript.

For those who still want one compete guide to revising their novel, the original Revising Your Novel is now an omnibus containing the full “series.” But for those who just want to work on a particular area, you now have three, targeted options:
Read more »Written by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com

Dealing with a Tricky Technique: Research Hills to Die On

By Ausma Zehanat Khan, @ausmazehanat

Part of the How They Do It Series

JH: Researching a novel is a lot of fun, and a lot of work. But the work is worth it when a story comes to life before our eyes. Ausma Zhanat Khan visits the lecture hall today to share some tips on researching your story. Let's give her a warm welcome. 

Ausma Zehanat Khan is the author of the award-winning debut novel The Unquiet Dead , the first in the Khattak/Getty mystery series. Her subsequent novels include the critically acclaimed The Language of Secrets and Among the Ruins . Her latest mystery in the series is A Dangerous Crossing . The Khattak/Getty mystery series has been optioned for television by Lionsgate, and Ausma is also the author of a fantasy series for Harper Voyager. The Bloodprint, Book One of the Khorasan Archives was published in October 2017. Ausma holds a Ph.D. in international human rights law with a specialization in military intervention and war crimes in the Balkans. A British-born Canadian and former adjunct law professor, she now lives in Colorado with her husband.

Website | Goodreads | Facebook | Twitter |

Take it away Ausma...

What Do You Want to Write About
I write contemporary crime novels and what I like to call alternate future fantasy, and both my series require a great deal of research, though each is quite different in what it demands to make the books seem grounded in a world that is familiar. My crime series focuses on global human rights issues, and so the bulk of my research time is allocated to finding out more about the issues I want to write about. In the past, these have included the dissolution of Yugoslavia and the Bosnian genocide, the detention of political prisoners in Iran, and most recently, the refugee crisis flowing from the war in Syria.

As a writer who grew up in Canada and now lives in Colorado, these are not places or subjects I know firsthand, though I do have a background in human rights law. But these are the subjects that inspire me—they draw me into a world that I think is important and that I want to know more about, so when I figure out what topic I want to write about, I focus my research there.

What to Read and How to Make it Stick
With research, the first step is always to read, and I aim for a balance of non-fiction and fiction. Non-fiction is essential for getting a clear grasp of the facts, but it can be tricky to figure out what to read from an often overwhelming body of information. I start with news reports—the BBC country summaries really help in that regard, and from there I’ll find links to other articles and sources. I also pull up human rights country reports, so I have clear reporting on what’s happening on the ground.

With my book, A Dangerous Crossing, which is about the war in Syria, for example, I read several searing Human Rights Watch reports on the subject of political dissidents inside the country. This material is immensely difficult to read, but what it offers is the direct testimony of survivors—which in turn helps me understand the story I want to write, as well as putting me inside the heads of people who have lived this reality.

It quickly becomes clear that when you’re telling these kinds of stories, you have a responsibility to get the story right. I’ll also read many of the leading books in the field, but then the real challenge is to sort out that material and figure out what the story needs, and what is simply of personal interest.

Whatever subject you’re tackling in your book—from technology to home gardening, from deathless love to a secret sisterhood of witches—the more you know about it, the more it will make itself a valuable part of your book.

Remember that You’re Writing Fiction
Research into fiction. I have to remind myself of this all the time, especially because I have an academic background and can easily get lost in minutiae that is fascinating for me, but not necessarily for anyone else. Reading novels and poetry that speak to the same subject always form the other half of the equation for me. Facts are one thing, but how people are affected them and what they think about their own reality, is equally vital to telling a story with depth. So the key is to collect, winnow down, and decide what’s made a real impact—and then to begin from there.

I usually find that I want to throw everything I’ve read into the book, but I’ve learned to accept the wisdom offered by editors who tell me that less is more, and that the story needs to breathe. Are there false starts? Absolutely. Have I sometimes cut 25,000 words that I personally found fascinating about a royal treasure or the various types of lifeboats out at sea? Definitely. But the value of reading so widely is that I always come across something new that really breathes life into my books.

Interviews – Ask and You Shall Receive
Writers spend a lot of time alone, locked inside their minds, so another tool I’ve found really helpful is the ability to conduct interviews with people who are kind enough to share their insights and their time. They may be experts in a particular field, or they may be people with firsthand experience about things you want to write about in your book. But how do you find these people?

I think most writers have a real curiosity about the world, so whenever I meet people, I like to learn about their histories, the journeys they’ve taken, and the things they consider important. Social media, particularly Twitter, has also helped me reach out to contacts and ask if they’re willing to answer my questions.

In my case, a lot of the things I want to ask are very sensitive and are usually painful for my interviewees to speak about. For example, I’ve interviewed former political prisoners from Iran, and refugees from Bosnia and Syria. In cases like these, it’s important to build trust, and to listen more than you speak—people are sharing some of the most traumatic moments of their lives, and it’s important to treat that with utmost respect. You’ll often need to take breaks in the conversation, or let the person you’re speaking to determine where the conversation should go.

It’s also important to be clear about why you’re asking for the interview, and how you will use the information you’ve been given. I’ve met some of the most inspirational people through this process, and their words breathe through my books.

Travel – All the World in A Book
Travel is undoubtedly my favorite part of the research process, though it can also be prohibitively expensive. So rather than just travel for work, I plan my vacations so that the locales coincide with what I want to explore in my books. It takes a lot of foresight and scrimping and saving to do this, but the rewards are immeasurable in terms of how they enrich the sensory experience of my books.

My fantasy series is set in Central and South Asia, as well as the Middle East, and nothing made as big of an impact on those books than my once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to visit the fabled cities of the Silk Road. But just as often, I can’t afford a trip, or I don’t think it’s a safe place to visit, and in that case, I have the following tools at my disposal:
Online photography: For my book on Iran, I looked at thousands of local photographs, and they were indispensable to setting the scene. Videos: Everything from YouTube clips to PBS or BBC documentaries. Travelogues and the Travel ChannelPeople: And if I’m lucky enough, I’ll meet someone who will let me take a stroll down memory lane by canvassing their personal photographs. Are You Ready to Write?
Do you need to do all of these things to write a book that feels grounded in truth? This is just the research  process that works for me. As deadline pressures increase, and I end up in more of a time crunch, I can no longer read as widely as I used to, and I’m often gathering snippets on the sly. But as I’m sure you know, no experience or observation is wasted on writers, so some mix of the techniques I’ve listed—with the balance falling differently each time—helps me take a subject that seems vast and daunting and focus it into the story I want to tell.

Do you have any research tips to share?

About A Dangerous Crossing

For Inspector Esa Khattak and Sergeant Rachel Getty, the Syrian refugee crisis is about to become personal. Esa’s childhood friend, Nathan Clare, calls him in distress: his sister, Audrey, has vanished from a Greek island where the siblings run an NGO. Audrey had been working to fast-track refugees to Canada, but now, she is implicated in the double-murder of a French Interpol agent and a young man who had fled the devastation in Syria.

Esa and Rachel arrive in Greece to a shocking scene, witnessing for themselves the massive fallout of the Syrian war in the wretched refugee camps. Tracing Audrey’s last movements, they meet some of the volunteers and refugees―one of whom, Ali, is involved in a search of his own, for a girl whose disappearance may be connected to their investigation. The arrival of Sehr Ghilzai―a former prosecutor who now handles refugee claims for Audrey’s NGO―further complicates the matter for Esa, as his feelings towards her remain unresolved.

Working against time, with Interpol at their heels, Esa and Rachel follow a trail that takes them from the beaches of Greece, to the Turkish–Syrian border, and across Europe, reaching even the corridors of power in the Netherlands. Had Audrey been on the edge of a dangerous discovery, hidden at the heart of this darkest of crises―one which ultimately put a target on her own back?

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Indie Bound | Kobo | Written by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com

A 3-Step Plan for Handling Backstory in a Series

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Backstory. It’s right up there with adverbs for the top things writers avoid when writing. But in a series, backstory is more just just the history going into book one—it’s everything that’s happened in previous books, too.

This is particularly challenging if the series has an over-arcing storyline. Events from previous books affect what’s happening in the current book, and if readers haven’t read them (or haven’t read them in a long time), references to those events are meaningless or confusing.

Read more »Written by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com

Writing Prompt: The Photo Prompt: No Love for You

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

This week’s prompt is a photo prompt. Write whatever comes to mind, be it a description, a story, or even a poem.

With Valentine’s Day coming up, let’s get thematic and write about unrequited love.

Write something inspired by this photo. 
 Written by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com

Real Life Diagnostics: Would You Keep Reading This Historical Mystery?

Critique By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Real Life Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and we diagnose it on the site. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to Real Life Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines.

Submissions currently in the queue: Two 

Please Note: As of today, RLD slots are booked through February 24.

This week’s questions:

1. Will you want to keep reading?

2. Is there enough description?

3. Am I showing rather than telling?

Market/Genre: Historical Mystery

On to the diagnosis…

Original text:

Background: While set during WW1, it is a murder mystery which moves quickly from London to Cornwall. The murder takes place on The Night Riviera, the sleeper train that runs from Paddington Station to Penzance.

London, May 1917

I hurried down Pickering Street in the murky darkness. Up ahead, to my right, lived sweet old Mrs. Crumpet. I slowed my pace to check her windows. A slice of light was visible.

“Not again,” I sighed. I stomped up the brick steps of Number 14 and rapped sharply on the door with the handle of my umbrella. I really must be firm with her this time.

“Mrs. Crumpet?” I waited. “Mrs. Crumpet, it is Alberta.”

I heard dainty shuffling footsteps and the rattle of the old brass doorknob. The door opened just a tad. I could see an eyeball, a slice of a plaid print robe and the chain that held the door fast.

“Mrs. Crumpet you have a light showing again and your hall lamp is glowing like a flair.”

“Oh Alberta dear, I’m sorry. But please come in and have a cup of tea, I desperately need your help; it’s Peachy again.”

Mrs. Crumpet stepped back and shut the door in my face. I could hear her fiddle with the door chain. “Remember your hall light,” I called. The door opened and she let me into a tiny vestibule. The scent of dusty violets and cinnamon enveloped me as stepped in and I closed the door behind me. Mrs. Crumpet, standing on tiptoe like an aged ballerina, turned the gaslight back up.

“I’m sorry dear, for the lights, but I’ve been so frantic about Peachy. He has been gone for two days, ever since the last air raid. You know how loud noises drive him crazy.”

“But Mrs. Crumpet any bit of light is a beacon, we must be extremely vigilant. I must impress upon you the seriousness of the situation.” I went into the sitting room and adjusted the faded cretonne curtain.

“Yes dear,” Mrs. Crumpet said as she padded through the sitting room to the kitchen, “would you like a biscuit with your tea?”

My Thoughts in Purple:

London, May 1917

I hurried down Pickering Street in the murky darkness. Up ahead, to my right, lived sweet old Mrs. Crumpet. I slowed my pace [to check] tellish her windows. A slice of light was visible.

“Not again[,” I sighed.] Use a period, not a comma. “Sighed” isn’t a manner of speech I stomped up the brick steps of Number 14 and rapped sharply on the door with the handle of my umbrella. I really must be firm with her this time.

“Mrs. Crumpet?” I waited. “Mrs. Crumpet, it is Alberta.”

[I heard] tellish dainty shuffling footsteps and the rattle of the old brass doorknob. The door opened just a tad. [I could see] tellish an eyeball, a slice of a plaid print robe and the chain that held the door fast.

“Mrs. Crumpet you have a light showing again and your hall lamp is glowing like a flair.”

“Oh Alberta dear, I’m sorry. But please come in and have a cup of tea, I desperately need your help; it’s Peachy again.”

Mrs. Crumpet stepped back and shut the door in my face. [I could hear ] tellish her fiddle with the door chain. “Remember your hall light,” I called. The door opened and she let me into a tiny vestibule. The scent of dusty violets and cinnamon enveloped me as stepped in and I closed the door behind me. Mrs. Crumpet, [standing on tiptoe like an aged ballerina,] nice image turned the gaslight back up.

“I’m sorry dear, for the lights, but I’ve been so frantic about Peachy. He has been gone for two days, ever since the last air raid. You know how loud noises drive him crazy.” I assume this is a cat or dog, but it’s never stated. Also, a pet has gone missing and Alberta never responds or offers sympathy, which makes her feel a little cold

“But [Mrs. Crumpet] the repeated use of her name is feeling a bit repetitious any bit of light is a [beacon] to what? I know by the dates it’s WWI, stating it would help set the scene and show the stakes, we must be extremely vigilant. [I must impress upon you the seriousness of the situation.] This feels off, since this is what she’s doing overall. Perhaps a specific action? Such as, We can’t make ourselves a target or the like ” I went into the sitting room and adjusted the faded cretonne curtain.

“Yes dear,” Mrs. Crumpet said as she padded through the sitting room to the kitchen, “would you like a biscuit with your tea?”

The questions:

1. Will you want to keep reading?

This is a bit of a tough call (readers chime in here). There’s nothing hooking me yet, but I’m also not a reader of historical mysteries. Like fantasy, historicals often need a little more time to get to the conflict to allow for world building. It’s possible that the hook appears in the next few paragraphs. There is a pet missing, and the threat of an air raid, but I get the sense that this is normal and isn’t part of the conflict, or what will get Alberta to the conflict (the murder part).

I think what this is missing is a stronger goal from Alberta. She’s protecting the neighborhood by making sure the lights are off, but what else is going on in her life? Could you hint at how she’s going to wind up on the train with the murder? I’m looking for a sense of a forward plot movement, or a question readers might want to see answers. What is the problem or situation that Alberta is going to find herself in before long?

If she’s going to travel, perhaps she’s thinking about that and worrying over who will watch out for Mrs. Crumpet when she’s away. Or maybe she’s excited to go on an adventure. Something to show the anticipation of her somehow being on the train.

(Here’s more on hooking readers in three easy steps)

2. Is there enough description?

There was for me. Historicals often use more description to set the scene, so you could do more if you wanted to. The one thing I’m not getting is a sense of life during the war. London was bombed a lot, even by airships, which is a really cool detail to add. You might consider flavoring the scene with more of the war. For example:

A slice of light was visible. [You could add a sense of the trees or plants or what the house is built from to show old stone and English ivy. Or the results of bombings or fighting. What was this part of London like this close to the end of the war?]

…she let me into a tiny vestibule [An opportunity to show some furnishings or some hints of WWI life. What would folks living under the threat of air raids have right by the door?]

“would you like a biscuit with your tea?” [I’m not sure if there was rationing and whatnot in London in WWI, but a lack of common supplies could be another detail to slip in. This is toward the end of the war, so what were they out of then?]

A few words here and there is all you’d need. They’d be more background details, but they could add a nice flavor of the time period.

(Here’s more on adding descriptive details)

3. Am I showing rather than telling?

Mostly, yes. For the very picky, there are some filter words that you could edit out if you wanted to be tighter in her head.

to check her windows. [”to check” implies the intent to stop and look, it doesn’t show the action. “And checked” shows the action]

I heard dainty shuffling footsteps and the rattle of the old brass doorknob. [This explains what was heard. If you cut the filter word, you could show it like: Dainty footsteps shuffled closer, then the old brass doorknob rattled.

I could see an eyeball, a slice of a plaid print robe and the chain that held the door fast. [Same here. She’s stating what she could see, but here’s no sense of anything more than the basic detail. But it’s an opportunity to show personality, such as: Mrs. Crumpet’s good eye peered through the crack, as formidable as the chair holding the door fast.

I could hear her fiddle with the door chain. [Metal scrapped. Chain rattled. There are all sorts of specific words that show sounds with more flavor.]

I must impress upon you the seriousness of the situation. [This feels very 1917, but it’s also a summary of what she’s trying to do in the scene, so it feels a little redundant. It’s another opportunity to show how Alberta feels and why she’s trying so hard to get Mrs. Crumpet to take this seriously.]

None of these are terrible tells, and many people would have no problem with them. But they’re also just stating what’s there, not using the details to evoke mood or show character.

(Here’s more on filter words and the can hurt a scene)

Overall, I think this could work with just a little tweaking to add in the sense of things about to happen. The setting itself is rife with danger, and Alberta has opportunities to show her likability and why readers should read about her. It’s a scene that could work to endear Alberta to readers, so when she heads off for the train and the murder, they’re on board and eager to see the mystery solved. Give them just a few clues that something in brewing, and they’ll be happy to take the journey with Alberta.

Thanks to our brave volunteer for submitting this for me to play with. I hope they–and others–find it helpful. I don’t do a full critique on these, (just as it pertains to the questions) and I encourage you to comment and make suggestions of your own. Just remember that these pieces are works in progress (many by new writers), not polished drafts, so be nice and offer constructive feedback.

About the Critiquer

A long-time fantasy reader, Janice Hardy always wondered about the darker side of healing. For her fantasy trilogy The Healing Wars, she tapped into her own dark side to create a world where healing was dangerous, and those with the best intentions often made the worst choices. Her novels include The Shifter , Blue Fire , and Darkfall from Balzer+Bray/Harper Collins. The Shifter, was chosen for the 2014 list of "Ten Books All Young Georgians Should Read" from the Georgia Center for the Book. It was also shortlisted for the Waterstones Children's Book Prize, and The Truman Award in 2011.

Janice is also the founder of Fiction University, a site dedicated to helping writers improve their craft. Her popular Foundations of Fiction series includes Plotting Your Novel: Ideas and Structure and the companion Plotting Your Novel Workbook . Her Revising Your Novel: First Draft to Finished Draft series offer step-by-step guide to revising a novel. Her Skill Builders series includes Understanding Show Don't Tell (And Really Getting It), and Understanding Conflict (And What It Really Means).    Website | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Goodreads | Amazon | Barnes & Noble | iTunes | Indie BoundWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com

What Your Query Says About Your Book

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

This week's Refresher Friday takes another look at the importance of a query letter--even if you're going the indie path.

The query letter is a valuable tool for writers. Not only does it help them clarify their idea, it's the letter that will hook and agent or editor, or become the cover copy that will make a reader buy the book. Writing one is a smart move, whether you're going indie or traditional publishing.

The query letter is the first impression your manuscript will make on someone, and when it doesn't make a good impression, it's not uncommon to ask (often in frustration), "How much can you really tell about my book from a query anyway?"

A lot, actually. And not just about the book.

Read more »Written by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com