Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 674

Realities of a book tour and some recommended reads

I've been writing some guest posts on other blogs around the Web in case you are interested in reading.

For the Water Street Books blog, I wrote a three part series on the realities of the book tour.  On Saturday, I get to experience those realities first-hand again at Water Street books in Exeter, New Hampshire.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

I also wrote a post on the Writers Read blog about the books that I am currently reading. 

Enjoy!

Contest runner-up #1

Some of the entries in my recent "Write my author bio" contest were exceptionally well done but did not really qualify as true author bios in my mind.  But they were ingenious and creative, nonetheless, and could certainly be utilized in other capacities, as part of promotional material for my book tour or blurbs in advertising and on other websites.  They read like ad copy rather than an author bio, and they might just come in handy after all.  

Two of my favorite in this category were...

Not right

I have never liked the expression creative juices.

And the idea of creative juices flowing is even worse.

I can't really explain it.  It's a gut thing. 

I just know it's wrong. 

When imaginary friends become real

When I was a child, I had an imaginary friend named Johnson Johnson. My mother said that I probably derived the name from Johnson & Johnson's baby powder (since renamed to just Johnson's baby powder).

If you haven't had an imaginary friend, you don't understand how real he or she can be. I have memories from my childhood that include Johnson Johnson as if he were an actual member of my family. I remember going to Roger William's Zoo when I was four or five years old and playing with...

And the winner is

After much deliberating and careful consideration for all ten entries in my "Write me a new author biography" contest, I have chosen a winner.

Doing so was not easy. 

I genuinely liked every entry and loved a few of them.  All of them surprised me with the level of detail and insight that they provided about me and my life.

A couple of the entries were outstanding but just not suitable for an author bio, but they could easily be used on promotional materials.  I intend on sending these...

Love em as a Patriot, but as an analyst

Is it me, or is Tedy Bruschi starting to sound like a jackass?

I like an opinionated host, but this is not analysis. 

This sounds like your average Patriots fan, tailgating in the parking lot, a couple beers already in his belly, complaining about his team.

This is not insightful, nor is it original.

This is a hissy-fit.  

New business plan

From Ellen Stuart's blog Smells Like Squandered Youth comes this idea, which I am fully prepared to co-opt, borrow or steal as the need requires.

She proposes the following business plan for members of the Professional Order of English Majors (POEM), of which I am a member:

"A company that contracts out members of POEM to make business owners and their employees seem intelligent in writing.  It's not a PR company, because PR people have to be diplomatic.  We will be a company of nasty...

Foolish guarantee

I was watching a home improvement show yesterday.  The designer and contractor were explaining to a homeowner that granite was an excellent choice for a kitchen countertop because "it will never go out of style."

This seems like quite a bold assertion, particularly considering that granite only gained widespread popularity in recent years. If its style was truly eternal, why weren't people installing it in their kitchens and bathrooms thirty years ago?

How many times has some poor sap...

Best letter

It must suck when your business relies on idiot record executives to keep people interested in music:

Mattys Top 10 wedding tips

Daily Candy wedding expert Shawn Rabideau offered his Top 10 Wedding Tips recently, and with no offense to Rabideau, I thought that most of his ideas were fairly obvious.

Proofread the invitations.
Make sure you break in your shoes prior to the wedding.
Spray-on tan sucks.
Eat and drink on your wedding day.

And there are a couple that I don't agree with at all.

Rabideau suggests that if you're going to get Botox, do it six weeks before the wedding.  I think his advice should read:

...