Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 671

Resolution update: August 2010

In an effort to achieve my yearly goals, I post my monthly progress here.

Below are my sixteen New Year's resolutions and my progress thus far.

1.  Lose seventeen more pounds, bringing my weight down to 185 pounds, which was my high school pole vaulting weight.

I managed to gain another three pounds this month, for a total of seven pounds over the duration of the summer.  This is likely result of days spent visiting friends and on book tour.  I just couldn't get to the gym as often as I...

The best they could do?

This is the photo on the Wikipedia page of Cleveland Browns defensive coordinator Rob Ryan, the brother of New York jets head coach Rex Ryan and former NFL coaching legend Buddy Ryan:

 

Really?

No such thing as a free breakfast

This morning I was in the McDonald's drive-thru, waiting to purchase my Egg McMuffin and Diet Coke. When I arrived at the window, I was informed by the cashier that my meal had been paid for by the people in the van in front of me. The cashier then handed me a business card, informing me that the van's occupants had instructed her to give it to me.

The card is for the Greater Hartford Church of Christ in New Britain and invited me to "Join us on Sundays as we study God's Word and his plans...

Marital combat or martial combat?

Am I the only one who finds it ironic that the words marital and martial are nearly identical?

Truth

In the spirit of friends being honest and direct with me at all times, two of my best friends recently described me as being "rude and impressive."

I actually think I exhibit much more tact and civility than I once did, and that I am considerably less rude than in the days of yore. 

That said, I think the description is still probably accurate.

The rude part, at least.

Warm and wet but not too long

My wife commented that the showers that she took during our recent stop in New York City were some of the most relaxing that she's had in a year.  At home, it's not uncommon to be showering while our daughter pounds on the glass from the other side, demanding our immediate egress.  Though we rightly ignore her, it admittedly does not make for a relaxing experience.

But here's the thing:

In listening to Elysha describe how relaxing her showers have been, I realized that she wants her...

The honest author bio

Author Ellen Potter complains that most author bios make her jealous, claiming that they "sound enviable. Tidy, picturesque. No bad smells. It's just not fair."

In that spirit, she writes the honest author bio:

She lives in a house which is perpetually being renovated by boozy, perspiring construction guys, located on a woody road plagued with black flies in the summer and black ice in the winter.  She is surrounded by her loving family who do not pick up after themselves and leave the soy...

Author bio finalized

After a few small revisions, Charles's author bio has been approved by my editor and publicist. 

Congratulations, again, Charles.  It should begin appearing on websites like Amazon in about ten days. 

The final version reads:

MATTHEW DICKS, who is not one for long, crafted sentences, preferring the stylings of Vonnegut over those of Saramago, is an author whose works, to date, include the novels Something Missing and Unexpectedly Milo; a successful blog and a number of Op Ed pieces, all...

Happy and dissatisfied

In a rare ripple in our otherwise sea of marital bliss, my wife became rather annoyed with me last night. 

It was the final night of summer vacation, and I was lamenting the fact that I had not accomplished my goal of writing my next book in eight weeks.  Hoping to use my vacation to write fulltime, I thought that I could easily accomplish this goal, and while I failed, I still think it would have been possible had I applied myself more.  An unexpected revision of my third book and my book...

Golden Rule, Golden Shmool

The Golden Rule doesn't always work.

I always prefer that people be direct, honest and forthright with me at all times.  Brutally honest if needed.  No behind-the-back gossip or back-channel suggestions through a third party.  Just let me have it. 

And a few of my friends actually adhere to this desire quite well, and I thank them for it.

When I do something stupid, for example, I like to be told.  But when I attempt to tell someone else that they are acting stupid, they are considerably...