Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 287

Some mistakes are larger than others

This might be the largest mistake in a publication ever. Numerically, at least.

This is the worst thing you can do to a storyteller

As a storyteller - and perhaps a human being - one of the worst things that can happen to me is for someone to doubt my story.

I have stood on stages all over the world and shared some of the most difficult and painful moments of my life. Embarrassing situations. Despicable decisions. Immoral acts. Heartbreaking, life altering events. And I've also shared the occasional triumph. Important revelations. Those tiny steps forward.

I don't hold back. I always share the truth. The uglier, the better. 

Nevertheless, five times in my life, someone has expressed doubt in one of my stories. 

At a Moth StorySLAM in 2014, I told the story of cheating in my high school's science fair and placing third, propelling me onto the state finals at Worcester Polytechnic Institute. After leaving the stage, a man approached and said, "Good story, but I don't know if it's true." 

After telling a story at Speak Up about the time I taught my students to lie in order to win a school-wide penny drive, a man said, "Funny story, but I have a hard time believing it." On that night, my former principal - who played a key role in the story - was in the audience. I offered to bring the man to my former principal for verification, but he passed. Not surprising.

A magazine editor once rejected one of my stories, claiming that she doubted that my moment of revelation was as succinct and powerful as I made it out to be. 

I won't go into details regarding the other two incidents (though one story involves my best friend, who remains annoyed about someone doubting our adventure to this day), but rest assured that all five expressions of doubt cut me to the bone. Not only did they hurt me in the moment, but they lead me to wonder if they are just the tip of the iceberg.

How many more people out there doubt my stories?

People who take my storytelling workshops quickly understand how and why I have so many stories to tell. I teach strategies and exercises designed to find and develop stories from our lives. I've dedicated my life to finding these story-worthy moments, and as my wife is fond of saying, I am often able to turn many seemingly small moments into fully realized stories. 

I've also led a story-worthy life, which is not necessarily a great thing. I was homeless. Jailed. Arrested for a crime I did not commit. I went through a windshield. Died and was brought back to life following a bee sting. Rescued from a burning home by firefighters. I was the victim of a horrific armed robbery and an unprecedented attempt to slander my reputation and destroy by career. I have witnessed and experienced violence that most people only see on TV and film. I suffered through crushing poverty more than once in my life.  

It's not the life I would have necessarily chosen, but it is mine. It's my truth. It's me.  

So to doubt my stories is to doubt my life. To doubt my truth. Doubting my stories means that the struggle and pain and terror and embarrassment that I have suffered is called to question. It means that my scars - both physical and emotional - are irrelevant. That the vulnerability I am willing to brave onstage is meaningless.

It hurts. It hurts more than you could imagine. 

I have been to hundreds of storytelling shows, and I have heard a few stories that I doubt. Perhaps more than a few. But I always listen with an open heart and mind, and if I doubt the veracity of a story, I keep my mouth shut, because I don't know for sure. I will never know for sure. And I know how much it hurts to doubt a story that is true. 

It requires courage to stand on a stage and share your most private and painful moments.

It requires almost nothing to stab that storyteller in the heart with a dagger filled with doubt. 

It's only happened to me five times in five years, and yet each one of those expressions of doubt still hurts me today. I remember them like they are yesterday. 

It's hard to live a hard life and be told that you are not believed. It's no fun to work on a story for days, weeks, months, and even years, only to be told by someone that they don't think it's true.  

Words so rarely hurt me anymore. A lifetime of fight and struggle have blunted most of their power to me. But these words of doubt - these small moments of skepticism - are piercing and permanent to me. 

Things I do #4: I drive like a teenager

When I am alone, I often drive with the windows down, the heat or AC blasting depending upon the season, and the music at full volume. Loud enough to make people stare.

It might sound a bit juvenile, but I assure you that it's also the best way to drive a car, and it is so, so good for the soul.

I can't recommend it highly enough.

In defense of editors

I'm a big fan of editors. Copy editors. Proofreaders. Anyone willing to point out my stupidity, really, but editors in particular have gone a long way in preventing me from looking like a fool over the years..

Turns out that authors aren't the only ones in need of editors from time to time.      

A small bit of marital advice

When your wife of the past ten years tells you that her birthday is  January 6 and not January 7 as you believe, there should really be no further debate.

You can safely assume that she knows her birthday, and therefore you should just shut up. 

Dick Clark is dead. He is sorely missed.

My wife and I watched Mike Birbiglia's movie Don't Think Twice last night. 

Excellent film. Gillian Jacob's performance was especially good. 

At 11:57, we switched over to network television to watch the ball drop. We watched as a female singer (later identified as Mel B) pretended to beg off Carson Daly's pleas to perform. The two went back in forth in faux disagreement, and then with less than two minutes to go, she  threw off her large, fur coat, revealing a sparkly dress beneath and launched into "All That Jazz" as backup dancers conveniently appeared behind her and joined in. 

Even though Elysha and I joined the banter mid-stream, it was clear that it was a set up. We all knew that Mel B would be singing something. 

It was also the stuff of a middle school talent show. Truly.

About 30 seconds before midnight, Mel B informed us that she was so excited that she might pee. 

I stared at the screen and thought, "Someone was paid to write this bit. Millions of people are watching and listening this terrible dialogue."

Then another thought: "This is why network TV is dying."

It was especially depressing having just watched a film filled with excellent dialogue. 

Sadly, Elysha and I didn't even get to see the ball drop. Either ABC doesn't have the rights to air the ball as it descends or they screwed up their camera angles. Either way, we missed it. After the stroke of midnight, we quickly switched over to NBC, only to be greeted by a platform of shirt-tugging douchebags surrounding that guy from American Idol. 

Next year, I think we'll just count down to midnight on our iPhones. 

New Year's Resolutions 2017

PERSONAL HEALTH

1. Don’t die.

Recommended by a friend years ago. Still valid today and deserving of the first spot on the list.

2. Lose 20 pounds.

I tried to lose 20 pounds in 2016 but only lost 8.

Since my first weight goal in 2010, I have lost a total of 58 pounds. Another 20 is ambitious, but it would get me down to my high school weight. I’m willing to try to make that happen.

3. Do at least 100 push-ups and 100 sit-ups five days a week.

I’ve accomplished this goal for four years in a row, but it’s not exactly automatic, so it remains on the list.

4. Practice yoga at least three days a week for at least 15 minutes each day.

This is a repeat of last year's failed goal.

It's important. Flexibility is important. It'll supposedly help my golf game and other stuff, too.

5. Take the stairs whenever I am ascending or descending five flights or less.

The exception to this rule will be when I am with my children. While I would like them to climb the stairs with me, this might be impossible depending on timing and willingness. 

WRITING CAREER

6. Complete my sixth novel before the end of 2017.

With novel #5 slated to publish in January of 2018, it's time to begin the next one. My goal is to complete the first draft by the end of the year.

7. Complete my first middle grade/YA novel.

The sale of my first middle grade/YA novel will likely take place soon (keep your fingers crossed!), and with that sale, the book will need to be completed. This must happen in 2017.

8. Write at least three new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist. 

I wrote three picture books in 2015, and I wrote another three in 2016. No sales yet, but some require revision and still have a shot.

Frankly, most deserve to be published. I typically defer to experts when it comes to things like this, but being an elementary school teacher for almost 20 years and parent for nearly the same number of years, I know that most of these books would do well if published.  

My goal is to write at least three more in 2017, including one with another former student and one with a non-white, female protagonist. 

9. Complete a book on storytelling.

With luck, an editor will make an offer on this book soon (fingers crossed on your other hand, please). At that point, I will have to write it before the end of 2017. 

10. Write a new screenplay.

I failed to write a screenplay in 2016 after writing my first in 2015. I intend to write at least one in 2017. 

11. Write a musical.

For the last three years, I have written musicals for a local summer camp with my composer and lyricist, Andy Mayo. One of those musicals was produced by a children's theater company in 2016.

In 2012 Andy and I wrote and produced a rock opera called The Clowns at a local theater and have been trying to get it into festivals or other theaters ever since. 

Andy and I have committed ourselves to another musical for the local summer camp, and I wrote the first scene of a new adult musical. My goal is to write one musical though I may write two. 

12. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.

I published two pieces in the Hartford Courant and one piece in Parents magazine in 2016. Not bad, but I'd still like to get my first piece in The New York Times in 2017.

My dream goal is to land another column in a magazine, newspaper, or online publication this year, but I’m keeping this goal more reasonable.

13. Write a proposal for a nonfiction book related to education.

I have several ideas for books on education that I would like to write. I'm actually in the process of writing one now. If my agent approves, I'll write a proposal in 2017 and hope that an editor likes my ideas. 

14. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.

A completed goal in 2016. None of the publishing outlets accepted my short stories (still waiting on two to respond), but I will try again in 2017.

15. Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.

In 2016, I wrote about backing into parking spots, daily affirmations, and bottle flipping. Though my opinion of all three activities didn't change, it was a useful experiment each time, so I'll repeat this in 2017.

16. Increase my author newsletter subscriber base to 1,600.

I grew my list in 2016 from 912 to 1283, a growth of 29%. I'll have to almost double that growth in 2017 in order to reach this goal.

I may be unrealistic in this goal.  

17. Write at least six letters to my father.

My father and I have been writing sporadic letters to each other since 2013. Since we speak little, it's been a great way to get to know a man who disappeared from much of my life at the age of eight. I intend to write to him every other month with the hope that he will write to me on my off months.  

18. Convert Greetings Little One into a book.

I wrote a blog during the first eight years of my children's lives. I stopped writing in December of 2015. Though I've considered resuming the writing, I would like to have the content already created preserved in a physical form. There are services that can do this work, but I want it done well. Edited. Photos positioned appropriately on the page. Videos removed. I'm willing to hire someone to produce this or find another way to have it done well.  

19. Record one thing learned every day in 2017.

This is an idea stolen from a blogger who has done this for the past two years. His lists are fascinating, and I'm hoping to generate an equally fascinating list to share at the end of 2017. 

STORYTELLING

20. Produce a total of 12 Speak Up storytelling events.

We produced eight shows in 2014, 12 shows in 2015, and 17 shows in 2016. An even dozen shows in 2017 is a reasonable goal. 

21. Deliver a TED Talk.

I’ve had some bad luck in terms of TED Talks.

I did a TED Talk at the AT&T Conference Center in 2013 that went extremely well, but technical difficulties made the audio on the recording almost indiscernible.

I did a TED Talk at Western Connecticut State University in 2013 that went flawlessly, but the college students who hosted the conference never posted the recording online.

I did a TED Talk in April of 2014 in Somerville, Massachusetts that also went well, but my 15 minute talk was accidentally put on a nine minute timer, which forced me to dump sections of my talk on the fly and speak faster than I would’ve liked. The talk was good, but it was not exactly what I had planned. There was room for improvement.

I did a TED Talk at Boston University in April of 2015. The recording started almost two minutes into my talk, and one of the cameras failed. The actual talk went well but the recording is useless. Again, I'd like to repeat this talk at some point for TED. 

I did a TED Talk in November of 2015 in the Berkshires that went very well. The recordings is excellent. Huzzah! 

I did a TED Talk in January of 2016 in Natick, MA, that also went very well. The recording is excellent. 

I did a TED Talk in April of 2016 at The Country School in Madison, CT, repeating that first TED Talk that didn't get recorded well in 2013. I had to hold a microphone, which complicated things a bit, and there was no timer, so I had to rush in fear of going long. I'm still not entirely satisfied with the talk. 

I've pitched talks to three TEDx organizers for 2017. I'll need to be accepted to one to achieve the goal, so completion of this goal depends upon the decision of others, which I try to avoid, but in this case, pitching to TEDx organizers isn't enough.

My goal is to deliver at least one talk in 2016, which once again is a goal that depends on the decisions of others, but pitching a TEDx organizer isn't enough. I need to take a stage to complete this goal.  

22. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

I attended 27 Moth events in 2015 and 26 events in 2016, so this number is more than reasonable.

23. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.

I won one slam in 2011.
I won two slams in 2012.
I won seven slams in 2013.
I won five slams in 2014. 
I won four slams in 2015.
I won five slams in 2016.

Three may seem like an ambitious number for 2017, but since 2011, I've competed in 51 Moth StorySLAMs and won 24 (a 47% win rate). 

If I compete in at least 10 StorySLAMs in 2016, I should be able to win at least three. This goal also depends upon the decisions of others, but competing in StorySLAMs just isn't enough to justify the goal. 

24. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.

I won one GrandSLAM in 2014.
I won two GrandSLAMs in 2015.
I won one GrandSLAM in 2016.  

I have at least four GrandSLAM appearances ahead of me in 2017. Winning one is not an unreasonable goal (he said hopefully).  

This goal also depends upon the decisions of others, but competing in GrandSLAMs is a forgone conclusion and just isn't enough to justify the goal. 

25. Produce at least 50 episodes of my new podcast Live Better.

My first episode was sent to iTunes yesterday morning. I await its approval. My goal is to record and produce 1-2 episodes per week, making 50 a more than reasonable goal.

26. Perform stand up at least once in 2016. 

My friend challenged me to do 5-10 minutes of stand up at an open mic in New York. I agreed. Since then I have been collecting bits for the stage. I have at least five minutes and maybe more.

In 2017, I'll have to find the courage to take the stage with the expectation of making people laugh.

27. Write a one-person show.

Since 2015 I've been performing a one-person show consisting of a collection of slightly connected individual stories with commentary in between. It's a formula that works well. The stories present an effective arc of a portion of my life and are a blend of hilarious and heartbreaking tales, and the commentary provides context for the stories, some behind-the-scenes material, and lessons on storytelling that the audience can take home with them.

I'd like to write a more traditional one-person show, consisting of a longer, 45-90 minute performance on a single subject. I have the basis of the show set and have more than enough material, but it needs to be written, which means organized, outlined, and orally constructed, since I don't actually write down any of my stories.

My goal is to accomplish all of this in 2017. A performance of the show would be fantastic, but I'll hold back on making the goal slightly unrealistic.  

NEW PROJECTS

28. Explore the option of teaching a college class.

I have a college class in mind related to education that I would like to teach. It will center on issues that are not currently taught on most college campuses but are some of the most detrimental to new teachers and contribute enormously to teaching leaving the profession in the first five years.

I live near several college campuses with teacher training programs and have served as a guest lecturer regularly at some of these schools. I intend on identifying the gatekeepers to these institutions and finding a way inside if they'll let me.   

29. Cook at least 12 good meals (averaging one per month) in 2016.

In 2016, I learned to cook three good meals for my wife, but I cooked each meal only once. In 2017, I'd like to cook at least one meal per month for Elysha and the family.  

30. Plan a 25 year reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.

My friend, Bengi, and I lived in a home that became known as the Heavy Metal Playhouse from 1989-1993. It was four of the best years of my life. Enormous parties, the closest of friendships, and the wildness of youth left an indelible mark on me. While I stay in touch with many of my friends from those days, I have not seen many of them in a long time. We have attempted to plan a reunion in the past without success.

In 2016, I tried to plan a reunion but was unable to secure a venue. This year I would like to make this happen.

MISCELLANEOUS

31. I will stand in vocal opposition to every negative comment made about age disparities between male and female romantic couplings because I choose to respect a woman’s choices of romantic partner regardless of their age or the age of their partner.

Behind-the-back criticism about May-December romances sucks. It's unfairly judgmental and often reflects personal envy and a lack of confidence and belief in oneself. Love is love is love. Leave it the hell alone, at least when you're around me in 2017.   

32. I will report on the content of speech during every locker room experience via social media in 2017.   

Bragging about sexual assault or lying about sexually assaulting women in an effort to gain favor with other men is conversation that I have never heard in any of the many lockers rooms that I have occupied in my life. I've never actually heard any man brag about such things with the exception of Donald Trump. I will continue to listen closely in 2017 to determine if I am simply living a unicorn's life or if our President-elect's claim of "locker room talk" is also a lie.   

33. I will stop presenting the heteronormative mother-and-father paradigm as the default parental paradigm when speaking to my children and my students.

I have strived for this goal throughout my teaching career, but I know that I slip frequently. Establishing this as a formal goal may help my language and word choice become more consistent.   

34. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children, in 2017 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall. 

I managed to avoid any negative comments related to physical appearance in 2016 (finding it much easier than I thought once committed to the goal), so this is an expansion of this goal to include all comments related to physical appearance with the exception of my immediate family. 

In 2017, I will seek to compliment people on things that truly matter - the things they say and do - and not on how their hair or shoes happen to look on a given day.

35. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2016.

It occurs to me that I put much greater effort into surprising Elysha in the earlier parts of our relationship. I intend to return to that level of creativity and effort in 2016.  

36. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.

A failed goal from 2012 and 2016 that I am reviving because these windows are making me crazy.   

37. Optimize our television for a streaming service. 

After failing to replace our rear projection television for almost 14 years, we have fallen seriously behind in terms of streaming content services. Our goal is to optimize our television viewing in 2017 by cutting the cord and installing a system that subscribes to the streaming services that best fit our needs while maintaining the content that we already enjoy. 

In truth, we barely watch any television, so this still shouldn't be hard.

38. Set a new personal best in golf.

My lowest score for nine holes is a 45, and my lowest score for 18 holes is 95. I’d like to improve on either score in 2017.

39. Play poker at least six times in 2016.

I love poker. I paid for our honeymoon with profits from poker. I made a mortgage payment in 2012 with poker profits. I am a good poker player who did not play at all in 2015 because of the time shifted to writing and storytelling.

I set this goal for 2016 and only managed to play twice.

I miss poker a great deal and need to bring it back into my life. Six games is not an unreasonable goal.  

40. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 25 years.

Bengi and I met in a Milford, MA McDonald's back in 1987, and we have been friends ever since. We once lived together (in the aforementioned Heavy Metal Playhouse) and started our DJ business together back in 1996. We have been through a great deal together, but in the last few years, we have seen less of each other even though we live 15 minutes apart. Our interests have shifted away from the thing each likes to do, but that's no excuse for not getting together more often. I've been taking him for granted, so that will end in 2017. 

41. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Resolution update: 2016 in review

In 2016, I completed 19 of 32 goals (one goal was cancelled early in the year) for a success rate of 59%. While this is not great, it compares well to previous five year average of 51%. 

My previous year success rates:

2010: 44%
2011: 62%
2012: 30%
2013: 60%
2014: 60%
2015: 59%

I also recently pointed out to a friend that I set many goals each year, knowing that I won't come close to achieving all of them, but would rather set high expectations that I fail to reach rather than set a list of reasonable expectation that I know I can achieve.

And I had some areas of great success in 2016. I performed especially well in the areas of writing (8 out of 12 goals completed) and storytelling (7 out of 8 completed). 

While I'm pleased with the overall results, there were some missed opportunities. My biggest disappointments were my failure to lose 20 pounds and my failure to write a new screenplay.

Both of these were very doable in 2016. 

There were also a few pathetic failures.

I failed to write a new screenplay. I failed to finalize any details for our Heavy Metal Playhouse 25 year reunion. My television is still without a streaming service, even though my mother-in-law bought us an Apple TV and nearly installed it herself. I didn't find time to play six games of poker. 

These were not difficult goals to achieve..

This was also the third consecutive year that I failed to schedule an evening of Shakespeare in my home, despite interest among many friends. Apparently I'm not that interested in this project.

In fairness, the friends most excited about this evening have now moved away. Still...

I also accomplished half a dozen goals that did not make my initial list but became important as the year progressed.

I was paid to perform at venues in Boston, MA, Champagne, IL, North Hampton, MA, New York, NY, and various venues throughout Connecticut. I launched Boy vs. Girl, a podcast that I produce and cohost with Rachel Leventhal-Weiner at the end of 2015. We just celebrated our one-year anniversary.  I expanded my roster of clients with whom I consult for on screenplays, pilot scripts, and TED Talks. I taught storytelling and public speaking at Yale University, the University of Connecticut, the University of Hartford, Miss Porter's School, and The Berkshire School. I also booked three more workshops (including a weeklong workshop) at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health. I taught storytelling to a dozen rabbis as part of a rabbinical retreat in upstate New York and to the administrators of Windsor Public Schools.  I booked weddings for 2017, extending my DJ career into its 21st season.   

Here are my specific successes and failures from 2016: 

PERSONAL HEALTH

1. Don’t die.

No death in 2016. Given the fact that I actually died in 1982 and 1988, it's not as obvious an accomplishment as you might think. I also had tubes put in my ears this month, which felt like I was going to die, but I didn't. 

SUCCESS.

2. Lose 20 pounds.

I gained four more pounds in December. Ear problems and weekends spent performing in the Berkshires and Illinois didn't help. I finished the year eight pounds lighter and missed this goal by 12 pounds. 

FAIL.

3. Do at least 100 push-ups and 100 sit-ups five days a week.

Done.

SUCCESS.

4. Practice yoga at least three days a week.

I took a yoga class as Kripalu this month, but that was it.

I also took the class in jeans and a tee shirt.

Even though I took four yoga classes in 2016 and engaged in yoga for a solid month, a separated shoulder and two months of physical therapy derailed my momentum. 

FAIL.

WRITING CAREER

5. Complete my fifth novel before the end of February.

Done!

SUCCESS.

6. Complete my sixth novel.

I have two novels that are more than halfway finished and one that is finished but requires a complete re-write. However, I'm not sure if any of these will be my next novel.

Not surprising, my editor has some say in this.

I turned in final revisions on my next book last week, so the decision process on the next novel begins next month. The book was not be finished by the end of the year.

FAIL.

7. Write a proposal for a middle grade novel.

Done! The editor and her team love the book. Minor revisions were finished this week. We hope to have an offer soon.

SUCCESS.

8. Write at least three new picture books. 

My now-former student and I have finished the first draft of our picture book.  

In November, I wrote a picture book about the Presidential election that I sent to my agent and a children's book editor. Both had very good things to say about the book but feel that it is too closely aligned with a specific moment in history to be marketable. I was disappointed. I think it's a great book.

In December I wrote the first draft of a picture book based upon a real life animal rescue from the 1950's. It needs work, but I'm very excited about it.

SUCCESS.

9. Complete a proposal for a book on storytelling.

Done! Five chapters are finished now, plus an outline and comparisons have been re-sent to my agent. She LOVES it. Hopefully a publisher loves it just as much.  

SUCCESS

10. Write a new screenplay

No screenplay. One of my biggest disappointments of 2016.

FAIL.

11. Write a musical for a summer camp

Done! I had the pleasure of watching the musical performed at the summer camp, and it was fantastic.

SUCCESS.

12. Publish at least one Op-Ed in The New York Times.

I've submitted three Op-Ed pieces to the New York Times and been rejected all three times.

In 2017, I will write goals that depend less upon the opinions and judgments of others and more upon my own effort. For example, a goal like this will read:

"Submit at least five pieces to the Op-Ed editor for the New York Times."

FAIL.

13. Publish an article in an educational journal.

No article.

FAIL. 

14. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.

Submissions completed in December. One rejection so far. 

SUCCESS.

15. Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.

I spent a week backing my car into parking spots (which initially struck me as insane) and wrote about it in August. It actually received a lot of attention from readers.

In September I engaged in a month of daily affirmations. I wrote about my experience this month.

In November, I engaged in the "sport" of bottle flipping, which is all the rage amongst many young people. I wrote about my experience this month.

SUCCESS.

16. Increase my author newsletter subscriber base to 1,000.

Done! My subscriber list now stands at 1,284 readers. My list has grown by 36% in 2016.

SUCCESS.

17. Collaborate with a former colleague on an educational book.

This project has been cancelled. After meeting with my collaborator, we determined that I am not best suited for this project.  

Oddly enough, that collaborator is now my principal. 

STORYTELLING

18. Produce a total of 12 Speak Up storytelling events.

Done! We produced two shows at Real Art Ways and the Yale Cabaret in December, bringing our total number of shows to 19 in 2016.

SUCCESS. 

19. Deliver a TED Talk.

Done twice over! 

I spoke at TEDxNatick in January. The title of the talk was "Live Your Life Like Your 100 Year-Old Self." 

I also spoke at the TEDx conference at The Country School in Madison, CT in April. The title of the talk was "Speak Less. Expect More."  

SUCCESS.

20. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

Done! In December I attended two Moth StorySLAMs at Oberon in Cambridge and The Bell House in Brooklyn. This brings my total number of Moth events in 2016 to 29.

SUCCESS.

21. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.

Done! I attended two StorySLAMs in December and won, bringing my total number of wins to five in 2016 and 28 overall.

SUCCESS.

22. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.

Done! I won the Moth GrandSLAM in Somerville in March. 

SUCCESS.

23. Launch at least one new podcast.

The podcast launches today. Live Better Now. 

I cut this one close, but it's an excellent argument in favor of yearly goals and deadlines. I may have continued to push the launch of this podcast off if not for the end-of-the-year accounting of success and failure.

SUCCESS. 

24. Launch a storytelling project that I will otherwise remain vague about here but will become a primary focus of 2016. 

Work on this project is specifically tied to the sale of my storytelling book, which has yet to publish. I can't move forward on this project until the book is done.

FAIL. 

NEW PROJECTS

25. Host at least one Shakespeare Circle.

No Shakespeare Circle.

FAIL.

26. Learn to cook three good meals for my wife.

I cooked two new meals for Elysha in August and one meal in November thanks to Blue Apron and a friend who was kind enough to pass on meals to me.

SUCCESS.

27. Plan a 25 year reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.

I'm still seeking a location for the reunion near the Heavy Metal Playhouse (since the apartment complex does not have a room to rent) and will then decide upon a date.

FAIL.

MISCELLANEOUS

28. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.

No new windows.

FAIL.

29. Optimize our television for a streaming service. 

No progress.

FAIL.

30. Set a new personal best in golf.

I tied my previous personal twice in 2016 but failed set a new personal best.

FAIL. 

31. Play poker at least six times in 2016.

I tied my personal best twice in 2016 but failed to set a new personal best. 

FAIL.

32. Do not speak negatively about another person's physical appearance except when done in jest with my closest friends. 

Done. 

SUCCESS.

33. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.

SUCCESS.

What is wrong with Queens?

My daughter Clara is angry that Super Wings - a TV show about anthropomorphized planes that visit other countries - hasn’t visited Israel yet.

“Or Argentina, at least! Or how about Queens! What’s wrong with Queens?”

Yes, she's talking about Queens, NY. The place we drove through yesterday on our way home from New Jersey.

My 2016 Christmas haul

Every Christmas, I take inventory of the holiday gifts that my wife gives me.

Some people wish for cashmere sweaters, new video game systems, stylish watches, and jewelry. My hope is often for the least pretentious, most unexpected, quirkiest little gift possible, and she never fails to deliver. 

For the past seven years, I’ve been documenting the gifts that Elysha gives me on Christmas because they are so damn good. Every year has been just as good as the last, if not better.

The 2009 Christmas haul featured a signed edition of a Kurt Vonnegut novel.
The 2010 Christmas haul featured a key that I still use today.
The 2011 Christmas haul featured my often-used Mr. T in a Pocket.
The 2012 Christmas haul featured my fabulous No button.
The 2013 Christmas haul featured my remote controlled helicopter.
The 2014 Christmas haul featured my "I Told You So" pad.
The 2015 Christmas haul featured schadenfreude mints: "As delicious as other people's misery." 

Once again, my wife did not disappoint.

The best gift (and one of the best gifts I have ever received) is this artist's rendering of the map of Yawgoog Scout Reservation, the place where I spent many of my childhood summers and my favorite place in the world. She found an artist on Etsy, contacted my brother and two of my former Scouting buddies, and together, they ensured that all of the most important landmarks were included. 

I am not ashamed to say that I cried upon opening the gift and realizing what she had done. 

In addition to the map, she also included this set of fabulous Christmas stocking stuffers, including two Shakespeare related items, two Patriots-related items, a golfer's multi-tool that was admired by fellow golfers on Christmas day, and the pen whistle, which should make my days at school much more interesting. 

I love each and every one of these gifts and will put all to good use.